This morning, I saw more completely heinous booster seat misuse than I have ever seen before. I'm not even going to touch the fact that I saw kids who could not have been much older (and were certainly no bigger) than Orren, in boosters. That's ridiculous enough to stand on its own. No, the other stuff is what we're going to talk about today.
First of all, let's understand what a booster seat is for. No, it doesn't have anything to do with being able to see out the window, nor does just putting your child's butt on one afford some magical shield of protection. What a booster does, plain and simple, is position the seatbelt (which is designed for adults) so that it fits a kid who is not large enough to fit it on their own yet.
Now, what does proper fit of the seatbelt mean? Well, the shoulder portion must, in fact, cross the center of the shoulder, not cut into the neck, or hit at bicep level, or anything else like that. Then the lap portion must sit on the tops of the thighs, not across the abdomen. If a seat accomplishes these two things, then the fit is good.
There is another less discussed, but still very important, feature of booster seats, and that is head support. A child will not get whiplash nearly as bad if their booster supports their head (meaning it comes up to AT LEAST the tips of their ears, preferably higher). This is particularly important if the car has no headrests.
One huge reason I REALLY hate 3-in-1 carseats is because they make the worst boosters ever, and parents are sold on this idea that this is the only carseat they will ever need, so they just make their kid keep riding in it until state law says they can be in nothing (in TX, that's 8) at which point they chuck it in favor of a seatbelt that doesn't fit the kid either. It's hard to say which is worse. This morning, I literally saw a kid Erin's size riding in one of those 3-in-1 seats as booster. It was awful. This kid literally had their entire head above the top of the shell, and the shoulder portion of the seatbelt was hitting right about mid-bicep. I didn't see the lap portion (We were behind them at a light) but I know from seeing this same death trap of a seat in friends' cars, that there's not a kid on the planet who actually has the lap belt positioned correctly by that thing. I will reiterate, there are no magical safety bubbles that appear around a kid just because their butt is touching a carseat or a booster. These things absolutely save lives, but you have to use them correctly.
I also really wish manufacturers would stop being so misleading. Carseats are such an important safety decision, and so many parents are so clueless and will just take what the manufacturer says and go with it. I've been there. Before Erin was born, I remember standing in the carseat aisle of Target, looking at everything they had, but beyond knowing that I wanted a convertible seat rather than an infant carrier style of seat (because I needed to get the most for my money) I didn't know how to make heads or tails of anything. Thank goodness they didn't have 3-in-1's back then, because I totally would have fallen for that line of crap. I honestly see those seats as a method of preying on poor families who are trying to make ends meet. They say they do so much, yet they do absolutely none of it worth a damn, and the top harness slot is unusable because it isn't reinforced. (Literally, if you read the manual, it will say that.) If you use the top slot, and get into a wreck, it will not hold, and your child will probably die. That is NOT obvious by looking at the seat, and since they don't attach the manual to the seat like higher-end brands do, most people have lost it by the time they get to the point that their kid would be big enough for that, so it happens all the time.
Another way I wish the manufacturers would get right is by (and I know I said I wasn't going to talk about this, but I have to go there just for a minute) NOT marketing boosters as appropriate from 3 years and 30 pounds. OK, so just out of curiosity one day, I put Erin's booster on its smallest settings and put Orren in it with the car parked. It fit him. Why the hell does anyone make a product that would make it feasible for an unknowing parent to put a child Orren's size in a booster? A child that size should still be in a harness!! Rear-facing, at that!! The reason people don't know that is because in the US, seats are marketed to the wrong audience. I have no idea why manufacturers do that. What does it matter to their bottom line if parents buy boosters when their kids are 3 or when they're 5 or 6? Either way, the same number of boosters are being bought.
Anyhow, the bottom line is, as always, carseats are devices that can help us to keep our kids safe. They are NOT magical safety bubbles that spring into action the minute a butt touches them. You have to use them correctly. When it comes to boosters, make sure the shoulder belt crosses the center of the shoulder (to accomplish this, the belt guide should be JUST above their shoulder), and the lap belt crosses the thighs. Also make sure the child's head is supported, and that the back of the booster is AT LEAST to the top of their ears.
A few good boosters:
Sunshine Kids Monterey
Britax Parkway
Clek Oobr
Graco Turbobooster
The First Years Compass
These range in price from $60-300, and they all position the belt well on most kids. Every kid deserves a good booster that will help them to be safe until they can pass the 5-step test, and use the seatbelt on its own.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, January 6, 2011
What ironic timing.
On our Garrison Commander's Q&A page, the topic has once again turned to the local job market. People are completely irate that they cannot find jobs here, but the more I look, the more I see that it is a lack of networking. Honestly, it's not even the language barrier. Thak was never asked if he speaks Spanish or not at any point within the hiring process. It did not matter. They loved his experience, and his references did right by him. Then upon sitting down with him, they found they really liked him, too, and that was all they needed to really be sure, and just take the plunge and hire him.
Thak is not better than other people. He'll tell you that. He's worked hard, and has gotten everything he has the right way. He's not a genius, and he's not rich. He's just a guy who works hard for what he wants, and eventually gets it more times than not. The one thing Thak has going for him that most of these other people do not have, is connections. As I said before, the first thing this service manager said to Thak was, "Your resume is very impressive." and the second thing was, "How do you know him?" (in regards to Thak's instructor, who is listed as a reference). As it happens, Thak's instructor is one of the best respected mechanics in town, and there's really not a shop in this part of the state that wouldn't give him a big fat pay raise to have him come work for them. The fact that he not only taught Thak, but thinks highly of him, and vouches for his work ethic, his ability to learn, and how good he is to work with, does a lot. In this town, it is who you know.
A lot of people think that's wrong. Just because Thak knows people, his job search lasts five days, while other people's job searches have lasted five years, and come up empty. I don't think it is wrong, though. It comes down to having some understanding of the local culture. Here, it is totally acceptable to use family connections to get where you're going. It is also EXPECTED that people will hook their friends up with stuff when they can. Consequently, just about every career field here is the same way. If you know somebody who's well connected, and well regarded, you get in. If you don't, then you don't get in. People don't know who you are if you don't have someone local to vouch for you, and if they don't know who you are, they're not going to hire you. It doesn't matter how good you look on paper. I guarantee Thak's awesome resume wouldn't have meant half what it does now, if he did not have the connections he has. It's ok. It's expected here. It's just the local way, and if you want to work in this area, you have to do it their way. The saying is, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." It applies here more than most places.
Honestly, we're really psyched about this next step. Everybody at school is really happy for Thak, and we are still in a little bit of disbelief about all this. I did feel strongly when he applied to BMW that this was the one, but I didn't say anything to him about that because I didn't want to be wrong, and if he got multiple offers (as he did) I wanted him to make his own decision without being swayed by anything. Even so, it is still very surreal that it is actually happening, and that he has actually been hired by a luxury shop. That is basically the holy grail for a mechanic, and it is very rare to get there right out of school, but Thak has done it. A lot of military people are not happy for us (all our civilian people are) but we now have some solid proof that the year and a half that we have spent so far, and the few more months we will still spend, sacrificing so much in the way of time, have been for something worthwhile, and that is amazing. It sounds so simple when we say it. He went to school, he made friends and got to know people, he learned a lot, he became a Master Technician (ok, two more exams for that one.... details....), and he got the job. It all sounds so simple when we put it that way... I guess it really is.
The moral of the story, I suppose, is to go get it if you want it, because it's there. Thak has proven that you don't have to know Spanish. All you have to know is the right people. Meeting people is easier than learning another language, right?
Thak is not better than other people. He'll tell you that. He's worked hard, and has gotten everything he has the right way. He's not a genius, and he's not rich. He's just a guy who works hard for what he wants, and eventually gets it more times than not. The one thing Thak has going for him that most of these other people do not have, is connections. As I said before, the first thing this service manager said to Thak was, "Your resume is very impressive." and the second thing was, "How do you know him?" (in regards to Thak's instructor, who is listed as a reference). As it happens, Thak's instructor is one of the best respected mechanics in town, and there's really not a shop in this part of the state that wouldn't give him a big fat pay raise to have him come work for them. The fact that he not only taught Thak, but thinks highly of him, and vouches for his work ethic, his ability to learn, and how good he is to work with, does a lot. In this town, it is who you know.
A lot of people think that's wrong. Just because Thak knows people, his job search lasts five days, while other people's job searches have lasted five years, and come up empty. I don't think it is wrong, though. It comes down to having some understanding of the local culture. Here, it is totally acceptable to use family connections to get where you're going. It is also EXPECTED that people will hook their friends up with stuff when they can. Consequently, just about every career field here is the same way. If you know somebody who's well connected, and well regarded, you get in. If you don't, then you don't get in. People don't know who you are if you don't have someone local to vouch for you, and if they don't know who you are, they're not going to hire you. It doesn't matter how good you look on paper. I guarantee Thak's awesome resume wouldn't have meant half what it does now, if he did not have the connections he has. It's ok. It's expected here. It's just the local way, and if you want to work in this area, you have to do it their way. The saying is, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do." It applies here more than most places.
Honestly, we're really psyched about this next step. Everybody at school is really happy for Thak, and we are still in a little bit of disbelief about all this. I did feel strongly when he applied to BMW that this was the one, but I didn't say anything to him about that because I didn't want to be wrong, and if he got multiple offers (as he did) I wanted him to make his own decision without being swayed by anything. Even so, it is still very surreal that it is actually happening, and that he has actually been hired by a luxury shop. That is basically the holy grail for a mechanic, and it is very rare to get there right out of school, but Thak has done it. A lot of military people are not happy for us (all our civilian people are) but we now have some solid proof that the year and a half that we have spent so far, and the few more months we will still spend, sacrificing so much in the way of time, have been for something worthwhile, and that is amazing. It sounds so simple when we say it. He went to school, he made friends and got to know people, he learned a lot, he became a Master Technician (ok, two more exams for that one.... details....), and he got the job. It all sounds so simple when we put it that way... I guess it really is.
The moral of the story, I suppose, is to go get it if you want it, because it's there. Thak has proven that you don't have to know Spanish. All you have to know is the right people. Meeting people is easier than learning another language, right?
BMW is our kind of place!
Thak went to another interview at BMW today. He told me it wasn't an interview. He was just going to meet the shop foreman, and talk over what he could bring to the company, and kind of talk details about working there. I told him that where I come from, that's called an interview, and so it was.
He was there for about half an hour, talking with the service manager and the shop foreman. In the midst of it, they told him that the General Manager, who is a retired soldier, looked over Thak's resume and said, "Hire him." The service manager and shop foreman particularly liked his electrical systems experience since BMW's are so electrical. They talked a bit more, and the group consensus was, "We like this guy. Hire him."
So long story short, Thak has been hired by BMW. This is obviously pending a few things, just a background check and a drug test, but that shouldn't be any issue. We got the dollars and cents details of the job, and it seems like a good offer. It's going to be tough at first because for a few months, they start their techs off at an hourly wage while they train in for the first few months, and that hourly wage is not high. We will have a really hard time those first few months, but we'll make it. After that, he'll begin on commission (that's what it's called when they do the repair jobs and are paid for their billable hours) and that will be better pay, but still a cut from where we are now. The good part is that within the next few years, the potential for growth is enormous, and the way they pay their techs after a few years, if they are good techs, and Thak is, is about the best we have found. It's not going to be easy at first, but we knew it wouldn't be. The potential is there. All Thak needs is a chance, and he can impress anybody. BMW has given Thak a chance, and we know they will never regret it.
It's just insane, you know. It's not even real yet. All we ever hear is about people trying for years to find jobs in this town, turned away everywhere they look, and of people in the automotive field trying for years to get hired on the shop floor somewhere, anywhere. Yet Thak has been looking for a job for about a week, and has been hired onto the shop floor at not just any dealership, but BMW. Outstanding does not even begin to describe this. He has worked so hard to get to this point. We have so much still to do and we're nowhere near where we're going to be, but this is a big giant leap in the right direction.
My husband is a BMW mechanic!!! How freaking awesome is that?!!
He was there for about half an hour, talking with the service manager and the shop foreman. In the midst of it, they told him that the General Manager, who is a retired soldier, looked over Thak's resume and said, "Hire him." The service manager and shop foreman particularly liked his electrical systems experience since BMW's are so electrical. They talked a bit more, and the group consensus was, "We like this guy. Hire him."
So long story short, Thak has been hired by BMW. This is obviously pending a few things, just a background check and a drug test, but that shouldn't be any issue. We got the dollars and cents details of the job, and it seems like a good offer. It's going to be tough at first because for a few months, they start their techs off at an hourly wage while they train in for the first few months, and that hourly wage is not high. We will have a really hard time those first few months, but we'll make it. After that, he'll begin on commission (that's what it's called when they do the repair jobs and are paid for their billable hours) and that will be better pay, but still a cut from where we are now. The good part is that within the next few years, the potential for growth is enormous, and the way they pay their techs after a few years, if they are good techs, and Thak is, is about the best we have found. It's not going to be easy at first, but we knew it wouldn't be. The potential is there. All Thak needs is a chance, and he can impress anybody. BMW has given Thak a chance, and we know they will never regret it.
It's just insane, you know. It's not even real yet. All we ever hear is about people trying for years to find jobs in this town, turned away everywhere they look, and of people in the automotive field trying for years to get hired on the shop floor somewhere, anywhere. Yet Thak has been looking for a job for about a week, and has been hired onto the shop floor at not just any dealership, but BMW. Outstanding does not even begin to describe this. He has worked so hard to get to this point. We have so much still to do and we're nowhere near where we're going to be, but this is a big giant leap in the right direction.
My husband is a BMW mechanic!!! How freaking awesome is that?!!
Little boys
They are very different from girls, but delightful none the less. We were actually talking about this last night with Alyson, who just had her son a couple weeks ago. (He's adorable, by the way. New babies are the sweetest things ever.) She has two daughters already, so this boy thing is brand new to her. I can identify. I was there just two years ago myself!
I had gotten used to having a little girl, and then when I found out Orren was a boy, I was very happy because I knew how badly Thak wanted a son, but that quickly was tempered by reality when we went to set up our registry right after we left the birth center. For the first time in my then five years as a parent, I ventured to the boys' side of each rack and aisle. As a girl mommy, I had never had to pay attention to this part of the world, but now, having one of each, the entire world of children's and babies' stuff was mine! Yay! Or not. About five minutes in, I looked at Thak and said, "None of this is very cute. I can't really bring myself to even register for any of this stuff since I don't even like it." Thak said, "Well, that's just boy stuff for you. Look at men's stuff. Is it very exciting? No. So why would boys' stuff be any different?" He had a point.
After a few months, I came to find dinosaurs, and rock and roll guitars, and skulls absolutely adorable, and acclimated to the bland color palate of boy gear. I think it helps that I have a daughter, too, so I get to venture over to the exciting and fun side of the aisle as well. I'm not stuck shopping ONLY for boy stuff like some of my friends who have several sons, but no daughters.
Other than that, boys are so different from girls. I noticed it when Orren was very young that he was different from Erin. Not only was he a fussier baby (but still not what most people would actually consider fussy) but when he got fussy, it was different from Erin. Erin would just get sad, and you'd pick her up, love on her a little, maybe tickle her, and she was happy again. Orren didn't get sad, he got MAD, and it was harder to comfort him. You had to actually figure out what was wrong, and fix it to his satisfaction. This got a lot easier after we figured out that he hated being wrapped up (kind of hard to accomplish for a winter baby).
Erin never launched herself off of furniture (although she did fall off a few times, and if daddy was deployed, that was bound to end up with a trip to the ER for stitches. Murphy's Law of deployments.) , took much interest in ride-on toys, or had to be taught not to hit, kick, and bite. Orren, on the other hand, has done all of the above. In fact, launching himself off furniture is a favorite activity, and he is currently driving his plasmacar (which he is now better at operating than I am!) up and down the hallway. We did have to teach him not to hit, kick, and bite. We've been bite-free for about half a year, but he still has to be reminded that we don't hit or kick people or animals if he gets mad. He's super smart, and really fun, but so different from Erin. He's a boy.
Alyson was saying that for a while, she was nervous to have a boy since she was so used to how girls are, and knew that boys are so much more active and rough. I totally know that feeling. I knew Orren would be different from Erin because he's a boy. What I never banked on was how much fun it would be. It's also important to note that even though little boys are active and like to play rough, they can be really nice, too. Orren says please and thank you, and if he runs into you or knocks something over, he says "sorry". He picks up things he knocks over, and has learned to be gentle with animals. (He says "Nice!" and pets them softly.) There is still a lot we have to work on, like when he wants to be somewhere that someone else is, he currently says "move" and pushes them. That won't go over well when he hits school in a few years, so we're trying to nip it now. Again, stuff we never had to teach Erin, but Orren is Orren, and he is absolutely delightful.
I am really glad I have a little girl and a little boy. They are both perfect.
I had gotten used to having a little girl, and then when I found out Orren was a boy, I was very happy because I knew how badly Thak wanted a son, but that quickly was tempered by reality when we went to set up our registry right after we left the birth center. For the first time in my then five years as a parent, I ventured to the boys' side of each rack and aisle. As a girl mommy, I had never had to pay attention to this part of the world, but now, having one of each, the entire world of children's and babies' stuff was mine! Yay! Or not. About five minutes in, I looked at Thak and said, "None of this is very cute. I can't really bring myself to even register for any of this stuff since I don't even like it." Thak said, "Well, that's just boy stuff for you. Look at men's stuff. Is it very exciting? No. So why would boys' stuff be any different?" He had a point.
After a few months, I came to find dinosaurs, and rock and roll guitars, and skulls absolutely adorable, and acclimated to the bland color palate of boy gear. I think it helps that I have a daughter, too, so I get to venture over to the exciting and fun side of the aisle as well. I'm not stuck shopping ONLY for boy stuff like some of my friends who have several sons, but no daughters.
Other than that, boys are so different from girls. I noticed it when Orren was very young that he was different from Erin. Not only was he a fussier baby (but still not what most people would actually consider fussy) but when he got fussy, it was different from Erin. Erin would just get sad, and you'd pick her up, love on her a little, maybe tickle her, and she was happy again. Orren didn't get sad, he got MAD, and it was harder to comfort him. You had to actually figure out what was wrong, and fix it to his satisfaction. This got a lot easier after we figured out that he hated being wrapped up (kind of hard to accomplish for a winter baby).
Erin never launched herself off of furniture (although she did fall off a few times, and if daddy was deployed, that was bound to end up with a trip to the ER for stitches. Murphy's Law of deployments.) , took much interest in ride-on toys, or had to be taught not to hit, kick, and bite. Orren, on the other hand, has done all of the above. In fact, launching himself off furniture is a favorite activity, and he is currently driving his plasmacar (which he is now better at operating than I am!) up and down the hallway. We did have to teach him not to hit, kick, and bite. We've been bite-free for about half a year, but he still has to be reminded that we don't hit or kick people or animals if he gets mad. He's super smart, and really fun, but so different from Erin. He's a boy.
Alyson was saying that for a while, she was nervous to have a boy since she was so used to how girls are, and knew that boys are so much more active and rough. I totally know that feeling. I knew Orren would be different from Erin because he's a boy. What I never banked on was how much fun it would be. It's also important to note that even though little boys are active and like to play rough, they can be really nice, too. Orren says please and thank you, and if he runs into you or knocks something over, he says "sorry". He picks up things he knocks over, and has learned to be gentle with animals. (He says "Nice!" and pets them softly.) There is still a lot we have to work on, like when he wants to be somewhere that someone else is, he currently says "move" and pushes them. That won't go over well when he hits school in a few years, so we're trying to nip it now. Again, stuff we never had to teach Erin, but Orren is Orren, and he is absolutely delightful.
I am really glad I have a little girl and a little boy. They are both perfect.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
And the baby is......
Chaiyo David.
Or possibly Sirikit Clare.
For now, it remains a mystery! He/She looked very healthy, but had the cord between his/her legs, and we were unable to tell boy or girl. We'll try again in a month. I didn't feel strongly that we would be able to tell this time, so I'm not disappointed about this at all. We're just Team Green for now, that's all.
I'm probably still going to start my Cottonbabies.com registry this week. It'll just be breastfeeding stuff for now, though. We already have all the gender-neutral diapers one family could ever want.
Or possibly Sirikit Clare.
For now, it remains a mystery! He/She looked very healthy, but had the cord between his/her legs, and we were unable to tell boy or girl. We'll try again in a month. I didn't feel strongly that we would be able to tell this time, so I'm not disappointed about this at all. We're just Team Green for now, that's all.
I'm probably still going to start my Cottonbabies.com registry this week. It'll just be breastfeeding stuff for now, though. We already have all the gender-neutral diapers one family could ever want.
On getting out of the Army
Somehow I've met A LOT of people lately whose husbands are getting out of the Army. It's pretty cool since at least there are some people who won't try to shame us because apparently 14 years of active service and 3 combat tours just aren't enough for one soldier. It's cool to know people who say, "Yeah I know exactly what you mean." when I say something like, "Yet another unpredictable training schedule. I cannot wait to be rid of this. Just a few more months."
At the same time, though, these people scare the crap out of me. I kind of see why so many people just assume that people who get out of the Army are bound to fail, and why Thak's boss told me the other day that she had never seen anyone so prepared for success on the outside, and that she is absolutely sure that Thak will do really well compared to others. To prepare as much as we have is uncommon. Most of these people think their husbands will go to school after they get out, that there are $30 an hour jobs waiting for veterans, that military experience is worth something on its own, and basically all the other rumors that swirl around in any unit at any given time. Having gotten out of the Army myself, I know how untrue all of this really is, so hearing people believe that stuff is really kind of scary.
Here are a few things people should know about getting out of the Army:
1) Your military experience is really not worth much on its own in most cases. Sure, there are some rare cases in which the experience you have in the Army translates directly to some job outside of the Army. The problem is that in most cases, the jobs like that will deploy you just as fast as the Army will. Isn't the point of getting out of the Army, not to deploy anymore? If that's a big selling point for you, then you should really be working on making your military experience marketable in the civilian world for as many years as that will take. If your military job would require a 4-year degree on the outside, then maybe you will need to go to school for four years before getting out. If you can get away with a 2-year degree to translate your military experience to the civilian market (and the majority of soldiers can), then that's what you should get. Yes, this will create a crazy schedule, and you will not have any free time to speak of for the years you do that, but what's better, doing that or continuing to deploy repeatedly because you didn't have what you needed in order to get out successfully? Military experience will very nicely augment a civilian education. It will nearly never replace one.
2) Waiting until you get out to go to school is a horrible idea if you have a family, and any rank to speak of. Yes, everyone knows people who get out of the Army can get unemployment pay for six months. Yes, we all know that the Post-9/11 GI Bill includes a stipend in the amount of an E5's housing allowance for your zip code. However, this is absolutely not enough money to live on. As far as unemployment, according to the state of TX's calculator, if Thak were to draw that particular benefit, it would amount to a little over $1600 a month. If he were to receive E5 BAH on the Post-9/11 GI Bill, that would come in just below $1000. That means we'd have $2600 to live on. That would be a complete disaster! Thankfully, he will be able to get a well paid job when he gets out, so while we will take a pay cut, it won't be as drastic as if we dropped down to the $2600 a month that those benefits would give us. Trying to live on $2600 a month and go to school is not a recipe for success. Go to school while you're still in the Army.
3) Stay where you're stationed for a few years after you get out. Going to school is a great way to network, and if you do that while you're still in the Army, you'll have all kinds of great connections to use when you are applying for jobs around the time you will be getting ready to get out! Don't waste this by moving right away. Establish yourself in your field locally, using the connections you have made, THEN move after a few years. Yes, you want to go home. Who doesn't? Becoming a soldier wasn't easy, and neither is finding your way out of the Army. The ones who have the least success of the people I know who have gotten out of the Army in the past 10 years, are hands down the ones who just ran back to their hometowns. The smart move is to stay where your connections are. Move once you have established yourself within your field and can possibly transfer within your company.
4) There is no such thing as a $30 an hour job. OK, so there is, but right out of the Army, you're probably not going to get one, even if you did go to school and make your military experience count for something civilian. The military pays you more than you will make on the outside, make no mistake about it. Nobody gets out of the Army for the money. Hell, nobody joins the Army for the money. If you wanted to get rich, you should have gone to medical school, or become a stock broker, or something. It is really dangerous to live as if you're going to walk right out of the Army into a $30/hour diesel tech job, though. Are there diesel techs somewhere on the planet who make that much? Yes. Let's just say that is not starting pay for anything in that field. Yes, a lot of colleges help people get jobs when they graduate, but look at the statistics on that, and be realistic. Most of the jobs they place people in are low paying. There are a few who get high paying jobs. They are the top of the class, and have done a lot of leg work on their own. I'm not saying it can't happen for you. It absolutely can. I am saying it requires an insane amount of work and financial investment (We've sunk thousands into licensing exams, study guides, additional tools, online practice tests, and other stuff that has helped get Thak to where he is today.), and let's not forget a ton commitment from the entire family. Be mentally prepared for that, and you will succeed. Think you'll just sail through and ultimately land in one of the few high paying jobs that exists, and you will have a hard time.
I am absolutely not saying that people who get out of the Army are destined to fail. I don't believe that for half a second. If I did, do you really think Thak would be getting out? Of course not. What I am saying is that this needs to be approached with a healthy dose of realism. You absolutely have to see this decision for exactly what it is. You are trading in every single one of Uncle Sam's safety nets for the freedom you and/or your husband fought for. You will be working without a net, and can absolutely fall on your face in the process, but good things come to those who are pragmatic. Sometimes that means making more hard decisions before you can reap the rewards. Getting out of the Army should be a process that takes years, because frankly, you sunk years into your Army career. You can't just end it overnight and expect any success in that. It's even more time consuming, and just as sacrificial, as becoming a soldier was in the first place. If you really want it, it's worth it, though.
At the same time, though, these people scare the crap out of me. I kind of see why so many people just assume that people who get out of the Army are bound to fail, and why Thak's boss told me the other day that she had never seen anyone so prepared for success on the outside, and that she is absolutely sure that Thak will do really well compared to others. To prepare as much as we have is uncommon. Most of these people think their husbands will go to school after they get out, that there are $30 an hour jobs waiting for veterans, that military experience is worth something on its own, and basically all the other rumors that swirl around in any unit at any given time. Having gotten out of the Army myself, I know how untrue all of this really is, so hearing people believe that stuff is really kind of scary.
Here are a few things people should know about getting out of the Army:
1) Your military experience is really not worth much on its own in most cases. Sure, there are some rare cases in which the experience you have in the Army translates directly to some job outside of the Army. The problem is that in most cases, the jobs like that will deploy you just as fast as the Army will. Isn't the point of getting out of the Army, not to deploy anymore? If that's a big selling point for you, then you should really be working on making your military experience marketable in the civilian world for as many years as that will take. If your military job would require a 4-year degree on the outside, then maybe you will need to go to school for four years before getting out. If you can get away with a 2-year degree to translate your military experience to the civilian market (and the majority of soldiers can), then that's what you should get. Yes, this will create a crazy schedule, and you will not have any free time to speak of for the years you do that, but what's better, doing that or continuing to deploy repeatedly because you didn't have what you needed in order to get out successfully? Military experience will very nicely augment a civilian education. It will nearly never replace one.
2) Waiting until you get out to go to school is a horrible idea if you have a family, and any rank to speak of. Yes, everyone knows people who get out of the Army can get unemployment pay for six months. Yes, we all know that the Post-9/11 GI Bill includes a stipend in the amount of an E5's housing allowance for your zip code. However, this is absolutely not enough money to live on. As far as unemployment, according to the state of TX's calculator, if Thak were to draw that particular benefit, it would amount to a little over $1600 a month. If he were to receive E5 BAH on the Post-9/11 GI Bill, that would come in just below $1000. That means we'd have $2600 to live on. That would be a complete disaster! Thankfully, he will be able to get a well paid job when he gets out, so while we will take a pay cut, it won't be as drastic as if we dropped down to the $2600 a month that those benefits would give us. Trying to live on $2600 a month and go to school is not a recipe for success. Go to school while you're still in the Army.
3) Stay where you're stationed for a few years after you get out. Going to school is a great way to network, and if you do that while you're still in the Army, you'll have all kinds of great connections to use when you are applying for jobs around the time you will be getting ready to get out! Don't waste this by moving right away. Establish yourself in your field locally, using the connections you have made, THEN move after a few years. Yes, you want to go home. Who doesn't? Becoming a soldier wasn't easy, and neither is finding your way out of the Army. The ones who have the least success of the people I know who have gotten out of the Army in the past 10 years, are hands down the ones who just ran back to their hometowns. The smart move is to stay where your connections are. Move once you have established yourself within your field and can possibly transfer within your company.
4) There is no such thing as a $30 an hour job. OK, so there is, but right out of the Army, you're probably not going to get one, even if you did go to school and make your military experience count for something civilian. The military pays you more than you will make on the outside, make no mistake about it. Nobody gets out of the Army for the money. Hell, nobody joins the Army for the money. If you wanted to get rich, you should have gone to medical school, or become a stock broker, or something. It is really dangerous to live as if you're going to walk right out of the Army into a $30/hour diesel tech job, though. Are there diesel techs somewhere on the planet who make that much? Yes. Let's just say that is not starting pay for anything in that field. Yes, a lot of colleges help people get jobs when they graduate, but look at the statistics on that, and be realistic. Most of the jobs they place people in are low paying. There are a few who get high paying jobs. They are the top of the class, and have done a lot of leg work on their own. I'm not saying it can't happen for you. It absolutely can. I am saying it requires an insane amount of work and financial investment (We've sunk thousands into licensing exams, study guides, additional tools, online practice tests, and other stuff that has helped get Thak to where he is today.), and let's not forget a ton commitment from the entire family. Be mentally prepared for that, and you will succeed. Think you'll just sail through and ultimately land in one of the few high paying jobs that exists, and you will have a hard time.
I am absolutely not saying that people who get out of the Army are destined to fail. I don't believe that for half a second. If I did, do you really think Thak would be getting out? Of course not. What I am saying is that this needs to be approached with a healthy dose of realism. You absolutely have to see this decision for exactly what it is. You are trading in every single one of Uncle Sam's safety nets for the freedom you and/or your husband fought for. You will be working without a net, and can absolutely fall on your face in the process, but good things come to those who are pragmatic. Sometimes that means making more hard decisions before you can reap the rewards. Getting out of the Army should be a process that takes years, because frankly, you sunk years into your Army career. You can't just end it overnight and expect any success in that. It's even more time consuming, and just as sacrificial, as becoming a soldier was in the first place. If you really want it, it's worth it, though.
What a crazy past couple of weeks....
So, first of all, tonight we're going to an appointment with Alyson.... at the birth center.... so we can use the ultrasound machine. You know what that means, right? We will hopefully find out if we're having a boy or a girl tonight!! I can't believe we're to that point already. We're almost to the 20 week mark, which is not the halfway mark for me, but close. I can't wait to see the baby on ultrasound in just a few hours! Seriously, if this baby is a girl like we think it is, I am so looking forward to shopping!!
Oh, and we will also be making our registry at Cottonbabies.com this week, once we find out what we're having, so for anyone interested in getting a present for the baby, that'll be a good place to start. I'll post the link for that when we get one.
OK, and otherwise, WOW. This past week has been insane, with Thak taking his resumes around town. Peers of his have been commenting that he is the most prepared they have ever seen for getting out of the Army. That's very good, and I really have no doubt that we will be fine out there. The response to the resumes has been amazing. We still have no final decisions on which offer Thak will take, and we have a little bit longer to make a final decision since all of this will begin with his internship, and that doesn't begin for another couple months. He has to go back to BMW and tour the shop, and meet again with the service manager, and everything like that. Their way of saying it was that they want to be sure it's what Thak wants. Well, we know it's something Thak would want. It's if they want him. It seems like they do. Basically, we're just trying at this point to figure out what the busiest shop is, where he'll be able to bill the most hours each week. His friend who works at Audi can bill 50-60 hours per week, easy, and the Audi business is growing. We don't know how many hours mechanics at BMW bill each week on average, but we do want something in that 50-60 range. (The way hours are billed is not quite how it seems. He would not be at the shop that many hours in order to bill that many hours. This is standard in the automotive industry.)
The crazy thing is that everyone and their brother has advice for us on this. It's kind of a pain, really, when they're not in the automotive field. We are really leaning heavily on our connections within the automotive field, especially locally, because they are most able to help with what the next move should be, since they're already where Thak is trying to be. We are so thankful for them. For everyone else, I wish they would remember that we're not stupid. Obviously he will choose whichever offer will pay higher, and whichever one more likely has a longterm need for techs. What's more, it doesn't matter what kind of car we would want more as far as where he would work. The fact is that on what a mechanic, even a Master Tech, makes, we couldn't afford any of these cars in the first place. What we would like to drive does not figure into it. By that standard, he would work for Dodge or Chevy, and the way they manage their shops just really is not a fit for who he is as a mechanic. Plus, the pay is way better in the luxury shops, and frankly, he's worth it. His instructors are all telling him he belongs in a luxury shop, and we're going to take their word for that. Judging by the response, it seems they were correct.
It has been an insane past week or so, and it's only going to get more so as we move into our last few months of Active Duty, and prepare for Thak's final test date, internship, and subsequent graduation, in addition to the baby's arrival. It's a very hectic time, with lots of big decisions and changes, but it's very good. For as crazy as it is, it seems to be working out for us so far. We just hope it continues that way.
Oh, and I can't believe I forgot this. It's amazing news. Thak's graduation date was moved back by two weeks! This means two really good things. For one, his results from his final test date will be in by then, so when he walks across the stage, he will have broken the school record for how many certifications he has gotten. His current number ties the record. Also, I will have had the baby by then! The original date that his graduation was planned for was a date when I really could quite well have the baby, and wouldn't that suck if they top graduate missed his own graduation because his wife was in labor? Yeah, that would really blow. Now that's not going to happen. The baby will be in the audience with mommy and Orren (and Erin if she doesn't go to Florida, which she probably will) to see daddy graduate! That was great news!
Oh, and we will also be making our registry at Cottonbabies.com this week, once we find out what we're having, so for anyone interested in getting a present for the baby, that'll be a good place to start. I'll post the link for that when we get one.
OK, and otherwise, WOW. This past week has been insane, with Thak taking his resumes around town. Peers of his have been commenting that he is the most prepared they have ever seen for getting out of the Army. That's very good, and I really have no doubt that we will be fine out there. The response to the resumes has been amazing. We still have no final decisions on which offer Thak will take, and we have a little bit longer to make a final decision since all of this will begin with his internship, and that doesn't begin for another couple months. He has to go back to BMW and tour the shop, and meet again with the service manager, and everything like that. Their way of saying it was that they want to be sure it's what Thak wants. Well, we know it's something Thak would want. It's if they want him. It seems like they do. Basically, we're just trying at this point to figure out what the busiest shop is, where he'll be able to bill the most hours each week. His friend who works at Audi can bill 50-60 hours per week, easy, and the Audi business is growing. We don't know how many hours mechanics at BMW bill each week on average, but we do want something in that 50-60 range. (The way hours are billed is not quite how it seems. He would not be at the shop that many hours in order to bill that many hours. This is standard in the automotive industry.)
The crazy thing is that everyone and their brother has advice for us on this. It's kind of a pain, really, when they're not in the automotive field. We are really leaning heavily on our connections within the automotive field, especially locally, because they are most able to help with what the next move should be, since they're already where Thak is trying to be. We are so thankful for them. For everyone else, I wish they would remember that we're not stupid. Obviously he will choose whichever offer will pay higher, and whichever one more likely has a longterm need for techs. What's more, it doesn't matter what kind of car we would want more as far as where he would work. The fact is that on what a mechanic, even a Master Tech, makes, we couldn't afford any of these cars in the first place. What we would like to drive does not figure into it. By that standard, he would work for Dodge or Chevy, and the way they manage their shops just really is not a fit for who he is as a mechanic. Plus, the pay is way better in the luxury shops, and frankly, he's worth it. His instructors are all telling him he belongs in a luxury shop, and we're going to take their word for that. Judging by the response, it seems they were correct.
It has been an insane past week or so, and it's only going to get more so as we move into our last few months of Active Duty, and prepare for Thak's final test date, internship, and subsequent graduation, in addition to the baby's arrival. It's a very hectic time, with lots of big decisions and changes, but it's very good. For as crazy as it is, it seems to be working out for us so far. We just hope it continues that way.
Oh, and I can't believe I forgot this. It's amazing news. Thak's graduation date was moved back by two weeks! This means two really good things. For one, his results from his final test date will be in by then, so when he walks across the stage, he will have broken the school record for how many certifications he has gotten. His current number ties the record. Also, I will have had the baby by then! The original date that his graduation was planned for was a date when I really could quite well have the baby, and wouldn't that suck if they top graduate missed his own graduation because his wife was in labor? Yeah, that would really blow. Now that's not going to happen. The baby will be in the audience with mommy and Orren (and Erin if she doesn't go to Florida, which she probably will) to see daddy graduate! That was great news!
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