And at some point, there is reality.

I think some people don't realize just how temporary all this is. It's so easy to get bogged down in the day to day of raising babies and toddlers, and think this is just what parenting is. Surely, you will always care what new prints your favorite cloth diaper company will release next. There's no way you will ever see a day when your choice of vaccination schedule (or lack of) doesn't even come up in conversation. There will definitely never come a day when it won't matter that you kept your kids rear-facing in the car until they were three or four years old.

In reality, not only will that day come, but it will come a lot sooner than you think it will. Kids grow up fast, and the more you have, the faster they seem to grow. This is not to say that the decisions you make when they're babies and toddlers aren't important. They're hugely important. It's just that the day will come when the result of those decisions will be turned out into the world, and you'll have to just kind of sit back and see how the result of your hard work fares.

Will the child who was breastfed for three years really be healthier than his peers? Will the child who was parented non-violently carry those ideals through all of his interactions? Will the child who was fed nothing but organic foods continue that, or will he have a penchant for McDonald's?

The truth is, nobody knows the answer to any of this. We just have to do our best with everything while we still have so much influence, and hope some of it sticks, because this is not the big picture. The big picture is that eventually, these kids go out into the world, and that's where our decisions as parents really get put the test. I find that many within the natural parenting community get bogged down in minutiae, as if what we are doing now, with our babies and toddlers, is the final exam, the culmination of our parenting ability. In reality, it's not even the midterm. We are laying foundations now for the things that really matter long term. This stuff we do now is important, but it's important because of the long term implications it has, not due to the choices in and of themselves.

Instead of getting caught up in crunch nazi details, why not think about the outcome you want long term, and how the choices you make today can help that.

I want my kids to have healthy immune systems. That's really important to me because I have a really healthy immune system, and it makes my life a lot easier. To that end, I don't give them too many vaccines, because too many vaccines will mess with immune response in a negative way. I also feed them good food so they learn what real food is like. Of course, breastfeeding is also part of this.

I want my kids to have a high regard for human rights and freedom of choice. They have watched me choose midwifery care instead of obstetrical, and birth at home when everyone else willing went to hospitals. Hopefully, the lesson they take from that is to choose things based on your own priorities, not what society wants you to do. Our anti-circumcision views come into play here, too. We left the choice to our sons even though society tells us we didn't have to do that. Hopefully, from that, they take away that human rights are something we are born with, and that it should be the freedom of the individual to choose for themselves.

With all things, I guess the biggest lesson I want to impart to my kids is that they should make well informed decisions, and not be afraid to go against the grain of society. I hope that they have watched me deliberately research topics relevant to our family, and to make choices based on that research, not based on what is popular. Aside from being healthy and conscientious, I would hope that my kids learn to be deliberate, and to do what they believe in.

All of this could blow up in my face. My kids could grow up to be completely mainstream. Obviously, that's not what we want, but ultimately, it's their choice. Parenting in these early years merely sets the stage for the big picture. It isn't the big picture. Do your best, of course, but I guarantee you that in ten years, nobody will care that you kept your kid rear facing in the car until they were four, and when your kid hits school, nobody will attribute his intelligence to having been breastfed. These things are very important in the here and now, but they are so quickly forgotten as you move into the next phase. I think it's important to remember that our biggest job as parents is to make sure that the next generation has more cool people and less assholes than our generation has. There is a lot to that, and this stuff is barely the beginning.

Fevers, and the phobia thereof

Before we get started, I want you to read something. Copy this into google: Dr Tenpenny on fevers.

Got it? Good. I would have linked that, but as I mentioned before, I'm limited to my iPhone until Thak gets home in a week and fixes one or both of the computers we have... Or I commandeer his. Anyway, there is an article by Dr Tenpenny called "The Importance of Fever" that I think every parent should read. I don't know where logic and practice began to deviate when it comes to sickness and the management thereof, but it definitely did at some point.

There has been a nasty cold going around El Paso for about the past couple weeks. Erin had it earlier this week, Orren is just getting over it. Many other kids we know have had it. One of the things it comes with is a high fever. I've been getting calls, texts, and IM's all week from friends, asking me how to bring down a fever naturally.

My first question is always how high it is. If it's 103 or lower, I ask why they want to bring it down. Is it that the baby is uncomfortable and that even nursing doesn't help, or is it that they, the parent, are uncomfortable with the number on the thermometer? 9 times out of 10, it's the latter. In that case, I tell them that they should trust their instinct on it, but I wouldn't attempt to reduce it at all. I would give a massage with lavender essential oil to calm the baby, nurse them as much as possible, and let their immune system do its job.

Most importantly, I always remind them that the fever isn't the problem. The virus that caused it is. The only cure for the virus is the fever. That is the medicine . Medicating the fever only makes the virus, the real problem, stick around for longer. Certainly, there is a level at which fevers become dangerous, but it is incredibly rare to see this happen, and would almost certainly not happen in the context of a cold, no matter how nasty the cold is.

American parents somehow have learned to fear fevers in their kids, and it wouldn't surprise me if the pharmaceutical companies are behind this. Think about it. One fever-phobic mom may run through three bottles of Tylenol in a year, whereas a mom who does not fear fevers may not even buy the stuff ever. There is money to be made off parents who don't trust the immune system to do its job. There is no money to be made off parents who know that fevers are an important response of the immune system.

Basically, the idea is, before you fear the symptoms, think of what they are actually doing, and if that action is important. Then make a decision about medicating.

New breastfeeding ribbon!

I'm a few days early with this, but since both my laptops fried this week, and I can only get online via my iPhone, I figured I'd get this done while I was thinking about it. Anyhow, he amber ribbon that replaces the garnet that was there says that we have been breastfeeding for 9 months. Chai actually turns 9 months on Saturday, but like I said, I'm doing this while I have it on my mind. Blogging via iPhone is not that great.

I can't believe we have made it this long. It's definitely a first, and I'm really proud of us for making it this long. Of course, we have no plans to wean, and we definitely plan on going to at least two years. I think he will go longer than that, but it's really up to him. Since two years is the new minimum recommendation, it's definitely the least we will shoot for. 9 months in, breastfeeding is so easy. He's nursing less often. I'm not as tied down as I was with him nursing constantly from the moment he woke up to the moment he fell asleep. He's spaced his feedings out to about every 3 hours, so I am able to do some things between feedings. It's evident that all our hard work in the months leading up to this has paid off.

I love that I have an instant way to comfort him when he falls down, or is tired, or in the case of today, he gets hit in the head with a cup (because big brother is a meanie). When I pick him up after something like that, he always wants to nurse right away, and everything in his world is instantly better the second he latches on. It's so perfect.

I'm also pleased that nobody has asked us when we plan to wean, or told me he's too old to nurse, or that I should quit because he has teeth. It seems like right noever everyone respects our plan to breastfeed full term. We'll see how that is in a couple years, but for now, I'm pleased. 9 months. I never have made it this far before, and I never imagined actually being able to say that I had breastfed this long. I know it doesn't sound like much to a lot of people, but to me, getting this far is a big deal.

Oils

We use oils a lot. Almost everything we cook has some type of oil in it, if for no other purpose than to keep it from sticking to the pan, but usually a lot more than that. It's no wonder that there is a whole section of a grocery store aisle dedicated to oils.

One often wonders, what is the difference between these oils? Don't they do pretty much exactly the same thing? Why are some more expensive than others? Good questions, and as someone who used to just buy whatever was on sale, and now buys only certified GMO-free sunflower oil, I'm going to go ahead and break the oil decision down for you.

Think about all the kinds of oil you know. Olive, Canola, Vegetable, Corn, Coconut, Peanut, Sunflower, Grapeseed... The list goes on.

First things first, think about the plant these oils come from. Is it often genetically modified? In other words, does Monsanto have their filthy mitts on it? If so, you probably don't want that. This pretty much takes out corn and canola oil.

Next, think about the consistency of the plants they say these oils come from. If I hand you a corn cob, can you press it and get oil out? No, you can't. You can press it as hard and as long as you want, and corn oil is not going to come out. It requires extensive chemical processing to get oil from a cob of corn. The same can be said of vegetable oil. We have no idea what kind of vegetables it's made of, but think of all the vegetables you can, and then think of how many of them would actually yield oil if pressed. I think you see the answer. No, I look for something called "Expeller pressed" oils. This means that the oil is pressed right out of the plant. Think of the consistency of an olive, a peanut, a coconut, or a sunflower seed, and you can see how these would lend themselves to oil extraction via press. This is what you want. It is the most minimal processing method there is, and the less processed your foods are, the better your body will respond to them.

Now, aren't GMO-free and expeller pressed oils expensive? They can be. A bottle of sunflower oil costs about twice as much as a comparable sized bottle of canola oil, but when you think about the fact that we do not know the health ramifications of consuming GMO foods long term, and we do know that very processed foods have negative health consequences, that extra few bucks a month on good oil pays off in the many bucks you won't be spending at the doctor's office in a few years.

For me, as a parent, it's just that much more important. When I read that study a few weeks ago that said that Round Up was found in every urine sample the researchers tested, it was a really big deal to me. These GMO "Round Up Ready" crops, are poisoning our society, because they can douse them in these enormous quantities of Round Up, which is systemic, meaning it stays in the plant that we eat, and then is consumed when we eat the plant. I have three kids, one of whom is a breastfed baby. I am in a very crucial position, and my knowledge of agriculture and food is the only thing standing between them and this toxic crap that is being shoved in our faces from every angle.

Tonight, as they ate their dinner of organic, 100% grass fed Texas beef, stewed with organic veggies from just up the road in New Mexico, I was able to feel good about what I fed them, because I am sure, beyond a single doubt, that these foods will nourish them, and not harm them. The fact that I sauteed that beef in organic sunflower oil sure didn't hurt our cause a bit. It seems like oils are the last frontier when it comes to most people's quest for clean eating. I can't tell you how long I spent cooking up organic free range chicken in whatever cheap and super processed oil was on sale at the Ft. Stewart commissary. Upon researching oils more, I realized how important they are, and how those extra few bucks for the good oils, are more than worth it in the long run.

A post about food

Food is a huge issue these days. I suppose it always has been, but I honestly believe that it has become more pressing in the past 10 years. The more I read on this stuff, the more I honestly believe that our food supply is tainted, and we may very well be on the road toward causing our own extinction via our dinner plates. I always thought human extinction would be caused by pollution, or maybe nuclear war (but more likely pollution). Now, I believe it will be caused by food.

Did you know that 72% of the food on American store shelves contains genetically modified (GMO) ingredients? That means only 28% of food is made only of plants that we have evolved to consume. GMO foods have unknown long term affects on our systems. New studies are showing that they may be more harmful than we had thought, showing that some of them cause cancer, or decreased organ function, in lab animals. That's pretty scary when you consider that lab rats evolved to eat the same kinds of foods as people evolved to eat. If this GMO food is doing that to them, what's it doing to us? Yet when you grab some product off the shelf at your local grocery store, there's a 72% chance it contains something that could cause you this harm over the course of time. Be vigilant. For now, buying organic is a good way to get around GMO's, because no organic certification agency in the US allows GMO crops to be certified.

Then we have the issue of chemicals. Pesticides have been used for generations now. Having grown up on an organic farm, and been in the FFA with a bunch of conventional farmers' kids, I have been acutely aware, from a young age, of how wrong pesticide use really is, and how feasible it is to farm without them. I've always had a distaste for conventional agriculture, but a recent study that showed that Round-Up was found in every urine sample the researchers tested, just brought that to a whole new level. This also ties in with the GMO foods. Monsanto markets "Round-Up Ready" crops, which are genetically modified to repel bugs, so all you have to do is spray Round-Up, and you're good to go. That's what they say anyway. This has resulted in Round-Up becoming pretty much ubiquitous throughout conventional agriculture. Mark my words, Round-Up is our generation's DDT. We have yet to see the long and far reaching impact of this stuff, but we will, and if Monsanto isn't too entrenched in the government by then, we'll probably see it banned, just as DDT was. This, again, is a reason to buy organic. You won't be eating Round-Up, nor genetically modified "Round-Up Ready" crops. Buying organic or growing your own, are really the only ways around this at this time.

Then we have other chemicals, things that are added to foods intentionally, which have unknown side effects. Everyone has read about artificial sweeteners like Aspartame, and how bad they are for you. There's also High Fructose Corn Syrup, which has been hotly contested in recent years. The corn lobby has bought themselves a lot of influence in the government, and therefore, a lot of leeway with their product. It's in almost everything, and it's not good for you. For one, it's made of GMO corn, probably Round-Up Ready GMO corn, sprayed with Round-Up, and then processed within an inch of its life, into a diabetes cocktail of nothing but pure fructose. Nobody should eat that stuff, ever, but it's in everything, unless it's labeled "HFCS Free" or "No HFCS". Short of buying only products labeled so, the only solution is to make as much stuff from scratch as you can so that you know what went into it. The same goes for other food additives as well. Nearly anything you buy prepackaged has some pretty nasty chemicals in it. Avoiding prepackaged foods as much as possible is of utmost importance in today's world.

Animal products are at least as big a problem as the plant products, and the problems are as much for the animals themselves as for the people who consume the products they make, or are made into. I worked briefly in the commercial dairy industry, and after that experience, I will not use conventionally produced milk. I can't. Seeing the filthy conditions the animals are kept in, how poorly they're treated, how they are injected frequently with hormones to stimulate more milk production, because a few gallons a day JUST. ISN'T. ENOUGH. Their conditions cause bone, joint, and foot problems, and they have shorter lives than they would if they were in a pasture environment. Infection is rampant, due to filthy conditions. Now, think about the fact that milk is produced in that environment. Would you willingly drink that? I didn't think so. Now, add to that, rBGH (also known as rBST, or simply BST), the hormone that these dairy cows are injected with, has been shown to increase the incidence of cancer in those who consume the milk. Now, think about the fact that there are trace amounts of dairy in almost everything. Also think about the fact that over 50% of babies receive formula at some point in their lives, and the vast majority of this formula is milk based. Pretty scary, huh? The only way to avoid the health consequences of conventional milk is to buy organic products only. This doesn't necessarily make it any better for the animals, though. An ideal option would be a cow share, from a small farm, where you know that the animals are kept in decent conditions. Not to mention, with these types of arrangements, you can often get raw milk, which is preferable from a nutritional standpoint anyway.

Egg production is just as bad as milk production. The chickens are often fed some really questionable things, and kept in conditions that are completely deplorable. Some egg laying hens never once, in their entire lifetime, set foot on the ground. The key is, of course, to buy organic, cage-free eggs, if you have to buy them from the store. It's pretty easy to find somebody with chickens, who will gladly sell you a dozen here and there, though, and this is always preferable to store bought eggs from every possible standpoint. In fact, in El Paso, you are allowed to keep chickens within the city limits. Someone on our block just got some, and their rooster has been crowing away at sundown and sunrise every day. I love it! If we were staying here longer, I'd have a chicken coop in my yard, too.

Meat is where animal products become the most questionable of all. Feed lots are every bit as unethical as commercial dairy and egg farms, and slaughterhouses are terrible. I have toured the kill floor of a conventional slaughterhouse, and I have walked the catwalk of multiple feedlots. Every person who thinks factory farming is ok, really should do that at some point, just to see what the animals you are eating, really go through in their short lives. (The average feed lot steer, who becomes your dinner, is not even two years old.) Ethics aside for a second, let's look at the nutritional implications of this stuff. These steers are grown huge in a very short amount of time. This requires synthetic growth hormones (RalGro), usually implanted as a pellet under the skin of the ear, and timed released into the blood stream. That means all conventionally produced meat is grown at an unnatural pace, due to a huge dose of synthetic hormones, which stay in the body, even after said body is cut into bite sized chunks and placed on a styrofoam tray in the grocery store. When you eat conventionally produced meat, not only are you voting with your dollars for inhumane treatment of animals in feedlots and slaughter houses. You are also ingesting hormones that made a steer grow to about twice the size he normally would in the space of 16-20 months. That ain't good, y'all. Add to that, of course, that this steer has been fed all his life, on the same GMO corn, which is covered in Round-Up, so there's probably Round-Up residue in the meat as well, and there you have a case for avoiding conventionally produced meats. Buying organic meat will solve some of this, but it is best to either hunt, or buy from small scale local farmers whose practices you approve of. Too expensive? Eat less meat. Quality over quantity is definitely a true statement when it comes to animal products.

These are the things I think about when I walk through the grocery store, with Chai on my back, Orren in the shopping cart, and Erin trying to grab at things. It's what I think about when I cook dinner, and figure out what I'm going to feed Chai, or what treats Erin and Orren might like. Last night, we found organic popping corn for only $1 a pound in the bins at our local health food store. I popped some up, stove-top, with a bit of olive oil, topped it with some raw butter and sea salt, and Erin and Orren enjoyed every bite of it as they watched a movie on Netflix. Meanwhile, Chai and I enjoyed seconds of beef stew, made of all organic ingredients. When I look at my kids, and I look at our food supply, I know it is worth the extra effort to be sure I'm not slowly poisoning them at the dinner table. Everybody wants to do what's best for their kids. Everybody wants their kids to grow up strong and healthy. That's the motivation behind all my research and focus on food. Today's parents have one hell of a challenge every time we set foot in the grocery store, and the candy at 8-year-old eye level in the checkout, is the least of our worries. With much consideration, though, it is possible to navigate the mine field that our food supply has become.

Bebe Chai, 8 months

This is the kind of stuff my Bebe Chai does right now. See him all standing up and stuff?! He does that a lot. He likes standing up. He'll take a few steps if you hold his hands, too.

This has been a big week for Bebe Chai. He says "mama" all the time now, and he's standing up a lot more, and taking steps if you hold his hands, and just yesterday, he started waving hello to that studly baby in the mirror.

Music and kids.

Yesterday, my iTunes searches included Justin Bieber, Taylor Swift, and Katy Perry. Do I particularly like any of these artists? Well, Taylor's all right sometimes. Thak has a huge crush on Katy Perry, so I've gotten used to hearing her music a lot. It's not really my style, but it's ok. I can't stand Justin Bieber. Erin likes this stuff, though, and I bought it off iTunes, plugged it into her play list, and synched it into her hot pink iPod Nano (Thak bought it for me years ago. I don't use it anymore since I have my iPhone, so we gave it to Erin.) You have never seen a happier kid than when she accessed her playlist, hit shuffle, and heard Justin Bieber! She told me I was the best mom in the entire world, and thanked me about 10 times for getting her the music she really wanted.

I thought the whole thing was pretty awesome. Honestly, those few little downloads, which cost me a grand old $1.29 each, may be the best money I've spend in months. Erin has not been an easy one to deal with lately, and she hasn't had an easy time in a lot of ways. This was probably the happiest I've seen her in a long time, all over an iTunes download.

I told a friend of mine about this, and he flipped out. He said he would NEVER let his daughter listen to Justin Bieber, and that I needed to stop that while I still could. I thought that was really funny. Hey, I'm not a fan of The Biebs either. That doesn't matter, though. As long as the music isn't completely filthy (and it isn't), then it really doesn't matter if I like it or not. You know, most of our grandparents thought The Beatles were total garbage, and The Rolling Stones were probably bordering on evil, but most of our parents loved them. This whole thing of parents not liking their kids' music is as old as time. I honestly do not expect to like everything she likes, and like I said before, as long as it isn't completely filthy and age-inappropriate, she can listen to what she wants.

Just think back to what it was like for us in Elementary School, listening to New Kids on the Block, MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, and Michael Jackson. We loved our music. We sang it on the playgrounds with our friends. If you had cable, and saw the music videos for our favorite songs, you were extra cool. It was pretty important to know what your friends were talking about when they mentioned the new single from one of the popular artists at that time.

Fast forward to high school. I remember listening to Tim McGraw, Brooks and Dunn, Shania Twain, Matchbox 20, Blink 182, Oasis.... Think about your first car. Don't lie. As you pictured it, a song came to mind. Your life had a soundtrack. It probably still does, but probably not nearly as vividly as it did then. Everyone knows music is life when you're in high school and college, and if you think back long enough, that really does start at about Erin's age, when you realize that there's other music in the world aside from what your parents listen to.

I honestly believe I would be doing her a disservice by NOT allowing her to explore her generation's pop culture in a way that is safe and accessible for her. This music is harmless, and since it gives her a strong link to her peers, and makes her feel good, I would even say it is great.