Happy Baby Chai!

He's getting fat!!

What an adorable little sumo baby!

Weird questions I didn't expect to be asked...

In the month since our awesome homebirth, the reaction from people at large has been interesting. Mostly, it's good. A lot of people are pretty floored by the concept of a 10 pound baby and no pain medication. (I can tell you, his weight had nothing to do with how painful that birth was. His hand being up by his face, and his shoulders getting stuck on the way out, had a lot to do with it, though!) Some are impressed with my and Thak's faith in the process of birth, and our willingness to just accept what nature had for us this time. Most of the guys we know joke around with Thak about how big Chai is, and ask what he's trying to do to me. Many people tell me that I'm brave. Everyone we know says Chai is beautiful, and congratulates us.

Aside from the generally good reactions, there have been a few things that are funny, and unexpected.

I think I could have 10 babies all at home or at birth centers, and still be just slightly surprised every time people project the hospital birthing norms onto me. Theoretically, I know that only 1% of American women are like me in their birthing practices, so when people assume we birthed in a hospital, they do so because they've got about a 99% shot at being right about that. It's just that these things that are assumed about us since 99% of society does them, are so opposite of what is normal in my life.

It's like when I get asked for Chai's shot record, I always have some 'splainin to do. "Chaiyo is mere weeks old. He has no shot record.", I explain. "What about the shot he got at birth?", they inquire. Oh... they think we're hospital birthers. "He didn't get a shot at birth. He was born at home.", I explain, bracing for the next crazy question. Right on time, here it comes, and I answer. "Nope, he didn't have antibiotic eye ointment either. That's to prevent eye infections caused by STD's. I don't have any STD's, so he didn't need it. Yes, I'm sure." Then it always follows that I have to explain further... "Nope, he didn't have Vitamin K injection either. He's not Vitamin K deficient. If he were, he'd have a lot of bruising, and he has none. Nope, I'm not worried about the risk of bleeding. Since we're not having him circumcised, there's nothing that would pose a bleeding risk at this point." By this time, they're either looking intrigued, or telling me I'm crazy. It's about an even split on which one.

There are two really unexpected questions I get. First of all, people ask if I am diabetic when they find out how big Chai was at birth. Nope, I'm not diabetic. No, I was never tested for gestational diabetes, but I also showed no symptoms of it, no reason to test. Gestational Diabetes is actually kind of an urban legend. The tests doctors use actually churn out a gang load of false positives, and are kind of harmful. You're either diabetic or you're not. You don't just become diabetic during pregnancy if you had no symptoms or tendency that way in the first place. So yes, I'm sure I'm not diabetic. I just have nice big babies. Yes, that's possible.

The question that makes me laugh the most is whether Chai was born at home on purpose, or if we just couldn't get to the hospital in time. That cracks me up. It always goes something like this:

Them: [insert question that only applies to hospital birthers]
Me: Oh, we don't have a [whatever they asked for]. He was born at home.
Them: [horrified look on their face] You couldn't make it to the hospital?!!
Me: Well, I'm sure we could have if we'd wanted to. I was in labor all day long. We just preferred to have our midwife come to us rather than the other way around, that's all.
Them: So he was born at home ON PURPOSE?!!
Me: [big smile] Very much so.
Them: [jaw on floor]

It is hilarious. It never occurred to me that it would be assumed that our homebirth was accidental! Plus, don't people who just can't get to the hospital in time usually go to the hospital anyhow? Like, don't they usually call 911, or call their doctor, or something? So if that were the case for us, wouldn't we have the documents and stuff that hospital birthers have since we would have gone to the hospital after the birth? Hell I don't know, but it seems logical to me!


I guess these crazy questions are part of the reason I'm sort of dreading the pediatrician visit. It's not that I dislike our pediatrician. I like him very well. He's a really good doctor. It's just that he has no experience with people like us, so we get the "are you crazy?" look a lot... not as much from him as the office staff, but it's still kind of a pain in the ass having our paperwork kicked back 100 times for lack of documents we are simply not going to have, being asked by every person who deals with us for stuff that simply does not apply to us, and then getting the "are you crazy?" look or comments. It was this way with Orren because he was a birth center baby, so I know it will be the same with Chai being a homebirth baby, maybe even more-so since Alyson is a CPM rather than a CNM (Orren's birth was attended by a CNM, which is generally more accepted by mainstream doctors than CPM attended births). I'm sort of procrastinating on scheduling Chai a pediatrician visit for that reason (and also because Thak has yet to take off work to go with me to the ID Card office, and I can't use our insurance without a military ID, and I can't get an ID without Thak being there with me). It's not that big a deal really. We had our one month appointment with Alyson. We'll just go for a 2-month appointment with the pediatrician. That gives me one more month to figure out what we want to do vaccination-wise. And of course, it gives us more time to prepare creative responses to the silly questions people ask us crazy homebirthing folks!

Two brothers... one month

Chai is a month old today! I can't believe it's been that long already. We had our final appointment with Alyson yesterday, which was both happy and sad... happy because we're doing great, sad because we will miss her. Chai is 12 pounds, and 24 1/4 inches.

And here is a pic of the two most adorable brothers I know, just hanging out.

4 weeks in

We've now been breastfeeding for 4 weeks. That's 4 times as long as I've ever made it before. I never had seen the light at the end while trying to nurse Erin or Orren, only the pain at the beginning, but now, 4 weeks in, I can say from experience the same thing that everyone told me all the time. IT GETS BETTER. We have no pain at all anymore. Chai's getting to the point where he can latch himself on with very little to no help from me.

I still pump twice a day when he's asleep, but even that is easier. The milk lets down faster, and with more force, and there's more of it, twice as much as before. It's not enough for him, still. We're supplementing a significant amount of formula, but we're doing absolutely everything we can to boost milk supply, and it is working. Slowly but surely, it is working. I don't have nearly enough for him yet, but I at least have an established milk supply, so it's a hopeful situation. You can always boost an existing supply. It's only when things completely dry up that it's cause for concern.

Right now, we're doing A LOT to boost supply. I'm taking Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle 3x daily, drinking Mother's Milk Tea 3x daily, drinking dark beer, eating tumeric as often as possible, keeping well hydrated, and nursing or pumping every 2-3 hours around the clock. Things have to improve, but even if they don't, even if this is all I ever have, it is a significant enough amount of milk that it is beneficial to Chai to have it, and to be honest, I'm pretty psyched to be able to give it to him.

Our breastfeeding goal is still six months (more if we can!), and we are still hopeful about being able to make it that long. I know Thak wants me to keep breastfeeding and hopefully get to the point of exclusively breastfeeding so we don't have to worry with formula at all anymore. We do get a little formula from WIC, and that helps a lot, but we'll still have to buy some, maybe a can a month, so if we can just eliminate formula completely, and just breastfeed, then not only is it like a million times better for Chai, but it saves us a substantial amount of money over the course of the year that Chai will need the stuff. Honestly, the only reason I set my breastfeeding goal at six months is because part of what made me quit so early with the others, aside from the excruciating pain, was the fact that a year of it was pretty daunting. The pain is gone, but a year is still daunting. I'm taking it a month at a time, and right now, shooting for six months. I know I can make that much, and hopefully more. Every bit counts.

This is what we shoot for.

This article was featured on Peaceful Parenting this morning. I liked it because it backs up a lot of things that I've thought for a long time, and just made a lot of sense. The main idea is that societies that are, or were, without the influences that drive modern mainstream society, parent a very different way than mainstream parents in the industrialized world do. Also interesting is that there is a major difference between hunter/gatherer types, who are more into what we in the US call "Attachment Parenting", and warrior types who practice very similar parenting to the mainstream people in the industrialized world. The idea is that the practices used by the warrior societies beget angry mean people who will be ruthless in battle, whereas those practices used by the hunter/gatherer types are more apt to create people who are peaceful, community-oriented, and just generally good to deal with. I had never seen it laid out so concisely like that, but it makes perfect sense to me.

I think one of the biggest problems I have, and have always had, with mainstream parenting practices, is that they are simply not appropriate for our species on a primal level. Human babies were not meant to sleep through the night without waking up to eat, at only a few months of age. They were not meant to entertain themselves or soothe themselves, or sleep all alone from birth. They were not meant to cry without being responded to. It's just not the way we evolved, but that's the way mainstream society wants us to treat our babies. What kind of sense does this make? It doesn't make a bit of sense to me. I can tell you that much.

This brings about another point that has occurred to me often over the years. I hear so many people agonizing over various parenting choices, and saying how hard it was to do this thing they thought they had to do. My question to them is always, "Then why do it? Surely you have a choice, right?" This is like the woman I know who had three shots of tequila before her son's circumcision appointment because she was so nervous about having it done (I would need more than tequila to make it seem like a good idea to do that to my kid, personally). I have heard numerous accounts of how hard it was for various friends and acquaintances to listen to their baby cry for hours on end during what they call "sleep training". I know countless moms who have agonized over the decision to stop breastfeeding because some pediatrician, or other person, told them to. Myself, I remember feeling like I was doing something very wrong the first time I bought formula for Orren. I literally looked over my shoulder repeatedly the whole time I was on the formula aisle at Wal Mart, and hoped we didn't run into anyone we knew. (Of course, we ran into half of Thak's platoon between there and the register. Murphy's Law of buying stuff you don't want people to know you have.) It was another two days before I gave him any of it, and the last time I nursed him, knowing it would be the last time because Thak had finally put his foot down and said no more breastfeeding after that, I felt very very wrong about the whole thing. In my experience, any decision that doesn't sit well is an inferior decision, and inferior decisions are inferior because they are not appropriate for our species on a biological or primal level.

Is this to say that Thak and I are perfect attachment parents? Not even close. We have areas that could be improved, and we own them. Breastfeeding is my achilles heel as a parent. It always has been. Chai has received four ounces of formula today in addition to what breastmilk I am able to provide for him. A couple ounces of that breastmilk even came from a bottle (that's because I pump while he's asleep since I'm trying to boost my supply, so that maybe one day he won't need formula anymore). He has nursed a lot today, too, though. We're trying. He doesn't usually sleep in the bed with us, but in his own little bed right next to my side. That, I do feel right about, though. That means it's the right choice for us. I do not believe that Chai is sleeping alone, because he is within arm's reach of me, and when he cries, I'm holding him within a matter of seconds. We do spend the majority of the day in physical contact with him (either holding him or wearing him), but we don't do as much skin-to-skin time as some other families may. We're not perfect attachment parents, but we go with what decisions feel good to us on the most basic level. That's really what it comes down to. The decisions that you won't feel a need to defend, that you genuinely feel good about, that you're proud of at the end of the day, are good decisions, and usually go with what our species needs on a primal level.

Fluff monster baby Chai

How cute is this?!! Baby Chai sure is a charming fellow.

Baby Chai pics

I don't think I've posted any of these yet, but if I have, blame new baby amnesia for the duplicate posting! Anyhow, here's sweet baby Chai (who, by the way, is 4 weeks old today)!

He looks good in green!



Playing with sissy after she got home from school.


And finally, one from yesterday. He looks so cute in overalls.

How to feed a lot of people on a little money:

With our recent 50% (or so) decrease in income, there has been a lot of emphasis lately on getting as much for what money we do have, as we possibly can. Here are a few things I have found:

1) It is pretty cheap to buy a whole chicken, and you can get at least three meals off it (for a family of five, four of whom eat solid food). The way you do that is the first night, you roast the chicken, and serve roasted chicken with whatever sides you've got (we usually just do a little brown rice and broccoli. Everyone eats this without giving me any trouble about it.)

The following day, pick the chicken clean of all meat, and set the meat aside (maybe even freeze it if you want). Then boil the remaining bones and skin with the herbs of your choice, to make soup stock.

There you have two more meals. You can use most of the meat in a casserole, and then a little of it can be added into the stock along with some veggies and noodles, to make chicken soup. One chicken, three meals! (And that doesn't even count the leftovers, which make great lunches for those who are at home during the day.)

2) Find some delicious meatless meals to put into the regular rotation. Some favorites of my family are lentil and quinoa soup, red bean burgers, and black beans and rice. With our pepper plants producing like gangbusters lately, all of these meals are particularly great, since beans and peppers go together so well. These are by far the most cost-effective meals, with the cost per person coming in well under $1. Plus, there are always a ton of leftovers, so you've got lunch the next day.

Beans require a little more forethought than a lot of things, though. I've found that it's better to soak them overnight, then cook them in the crockpot all day until it's time to use them. Then you take out the amount you need, and freeze the rest for the next time. I've found that the average bag of beans will make two meals. The cool thing about this is that we really only have to worry with this overnight soaking and crockpot cooking every other time we use any given type of beans.

3) Sourdough bread is delicious and conserves yeast. Since the sourdough starter uses only a little bit of yeast, and then grows it on its own (hence the sour taste of the resulting bread), it lets us cheaply make homemade bread (cheaper than store bought), and still have plenty of yeast leftover for fun stuff like pizza crust!

4) A little meat can go a long way. Cooking a few strips of bacon so that everybody gets a little bit crumbled over their beans and rice, or on their red bean burger, will give the taste of meat without actually using a lot.


Among other things, this is how we keep our grocery bill low, and still eat delicious food at every meal.

Summer reading program

Yay Erin!!

This is Erin's final report card. She really knocked the ball out of the park this year. She's so ready for second grade it's not even funny, and of course summer school will only help make that much more sure that she's 110% ready. She EARNED every single one of these grades. They were not just given to her. So many people worked tirelessly to make sure she got to this point, and we are so grateful for a wonderful first year at VDF School. We can't wait to see what the years to come will hold. Looking back on this year, I am more confident than ever that we made the right decision by choosing this school for her, and by staying in El Paso for a few more years so that she can finish elementary school there. I can't believe Erin is a second grader now!! This is amazing!!

Baby Chai, boobies, et al

As of a few days ago, I've been breastfeeding Chai for about 3x as long as I did with Erin and Orren. It amazes me that we've actually made it this far, and that it's actually going pretty well. There really isn't any pain anymore, even though he still nurses very aggressively (which is ok. It's just how he is.) Supply is still an issue, but we're working on that. I also am hanging onto weight a lot more than I did with the other two. It's just because I have to eat a lot in order to produce milk for Chai, and honestly, I'm just really hungry and I've never been one to not eat when I'm hungry. I've never dieted before, so I wouldn't even know where to begin, but it wouldn't be wise to do that right now anyhow since it can hurt milk supply. I'm not eating junk food or anything like that. It's just normal, cooked from scratch, homemade food, and I pretty much only drink water, except when I drink sweet tea a couple times a day because it's pretty much the only thing keeping me functional on so little sleep. So the weight I'm hanging onto is probably just a reality for as long as I nurse Chai. It's ok. I don't mind. It would be cool to tone up a little, but being only 3 weeks postpartum, I haven't really been able to work out a lot yet. I just walk, which helps, but in a few more weeks, I'll be able to run and stuff like that again, and that'll help more.

I don't know how long I'll nurse Chai. I'm taking it one day at a time, but have no desire at this point to stop anytime soon. Ultimately, I'd love to make 6 months, maybe even a year. We have to make one month first, though, and we'll hit that milestone next week. How long we continue in the end will depend how well I can build up supply. Luckily, it's still early, so I have time to make modifications as necessary, and have them actually work. I see Alyson again next Monday, and I'll ask her what I should be doing, and maybe also go to the Baby Cafe sometime in the next few days to talk to a lactation consultant, too.

Chai really prefers to nurse. He hates formula and isn't big on bottles. It's to the point that he won't go to sleep unless he nurses first, so in the middle of the night, since we still have to supplement, we give him his formula first, then let him nurse after that. That's the only way he'll go back to sleep. He knows what he likes! I'll say that much for him! Sure, it means I get less sleep because Thak CAN'T do the night feedings, but honestly, I was doing pretty much all of it anyhow, so it's not that much of a difference, and it's worth it to give Chai the best and to see how much happier he is to nurse than to have just bottles. In fact, I nursed him through almost all of Thak's graduation ceremony because that was the only way he was happy. (I didn't get any dirty looks for it either!)

I do feel bad for giving him formula, because there is just so much published lately about how harmful it is to feed formula, but at least he's getting fed, and I just hope that the benefits of breastfeeding as much as we can will counteract any potential harm that may be done by the formula. The lactation consultant at WIC said that ANY breastfeeding you do is good, literally even the smallest amount beats nothing by a long shot. I believe that also, so we're going to keep it up as long as we can. I can't believe we're coming up on a month so soon. It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it.

Baby Chai today...

First of all, respect the John Deere onesie! You know Baby Chai is a total studmuffin in green.



Now, we have Baby Chai and sissy playing together. They are so cute!

It kind of reminds me of this picture from when Orren was a baby and we were moving cross country. (Yes, that's the same onesie.)

Something old, and something new

Chai is now big enough to wear the Very Hungry Caterpillar outfit that Erin and Orren both also wore. Erin was 4 months old when she wore it. Orren was 6 weeks. Chai is 3 weeks. I think he looks adorable in it! He wouldn't wear the hat, but that's ok.



And something new... Since the boys share a room, but Chai will be in our room for a few more months, it wasn't working out very well to store all the diapers in the boys' bedroom. What we ended up with is a permanent diaper colony on the couch. That was slightly inconvenient for those late night changes since we still had to run out here and get a diaper (although while still supplementing formula at every feed, we still had to mix a bottle, so we were coming out here anyhow. We're really trying to cut out the supplementing, though, and we don't have to do it at every feed anymore.) Not to mention, storing the diapers on the couch was messy since they'd always get knocked off onto the floor, and didn't look very neat at all, so we had to do something else.

Enter nice big basket that was under my nightstand with no job since our birth supplies aren't occupying it anymore. I put roughly a day's (or day and a half's) worth of diapers in there. The rest can still be stored in the boys' room. This basket can stay in the living room during the day without being messy or cluttered, and we can just move it to the bedroom at night when we go to bed. Outstanding!!

It seems like such a small thing, and it is, but this whole "two boys, one room" thing is new to me. My kids have always had their own rooms, and I could keep their stuff in their rooms, and just leave it at that. Now I have to worry about keeping the baby's stuff out of reach of a toddler (er... almost preschooler??) who's very curious and wants to help, but makes a big mess. So we do the diaper basket, and it's great! We're learning... one day at a time.

You only get this if you have a sister... and are a boy.

She swears it was his idea. I will say, he doesn't hate it. He will hate this picture in a few years, though!




In other news, I have to dig out the 6 month onesies for Chai today. His 3-month ones are sliding off his shoulders. He had another growth spurt. I'm so glad we don't have to buy clothes for him! Having all Orren's stuff leftover is great. I've got to find out the details on consignment for this stuff. It's all in pretty much new condition because Orren and Chai outgrew it so fast!

So without further ado, I have to get Orren out of drag, and go buy the stuff to make a cake for Father's Day tomorrow.

The Baby Chai Picture of the Day

Here is Chai yesterday. Erin was burping him. She loves carrying him around like that.

Summer school, and whatnot

Erin got in some trouble yesterday. At pick-up from school, Mr. M asked me about the summer school permission form that was sent home. Of course, I'd never seen that in my life, because Erin never gave it to me. Could be simple oversight.... until he told me that she had told him that her mommy and daddy weren't sure if she could go or not, and were taking some more time to think it over. Well that, of course, is a complete lie. We never got the letter in the first place, so we didn't know she had been asked to attend summer school at all, and of course, we already knew that if she was asked to attend, then she would. Mr. M thought it was unlikely that this was something we would need days on end to think over, so Erin's story sounded fishy to him, which is why he asked me about it. Of course, I told him that Erin WOULD, in fact, be attending summer school since now I knew she had been asked to. He got us another form, and I turned it back in this morning. Nice try, Erin. Thak went easy on her, punishment-wise. She got off with a stern talking to about why we don't lie. He said next time she lies, she's grounded for a month. That scared her, but I wonder if it was enough. Honestly, I would have grounded her this time, for a week. What's done is done, though. She got off easy. I think she knows it, though. She brought in the trash cans from the street without being asked, and didn't give us any crap about going to bed.

Orren's newest hobby is waking baby Chai up when I get him to sleep. When Chai's awake, Orren manages to keep it to a dull roar, but the minute he falls asleep, that's the exact moment Orren wants to come up and play his kazoo extra loud, or bang on the garbage can with a spoon, or something. Chai was exhausted by the time we got him to bed last night. On the good side, he slept from midnight to 6 am without waking up. I was shocked. I needed that, though. I was completely spent yesterday. Taking care of these boys all day by myself is hard. Chai is a newborn, so of course he's needy, but Orren is needy, too, and usually only when Chai is. I love my little boys, but they're running me crazy.

Chai has also outgrown a lot of clothes already. He's so long he outgrows stuff even faster than Orren did. It's ok, though, because we already have all his clothes left over from Orren, so it doesn't cost anything when he has to move up in sizes.

So, uh, now I have to go clean the cat box (Thak's chore, really, but yeah...) and then a certain little boy wants to go walking.

What a day!

Today began as all days begin... rushing out the door to take Erin to school. It's getting easier to manage with both boys. They're pretty good at getting out the door fast enough, and they look so adorable in their matching carseats! I'll post a pic of that one of these days. It's really adorable.

Anyhow, after we dropped Erin off at school, I had to come home, pump milk and feed Chai. Then we had to get going over the mountain to the westside, to the pediatrician's office to get Orren's shot record. Of course, on the way there, I noticed we were low on gas, so we stopped to fill up first. By the time we got to the ped's office, we were an hour behind where I wanted to be. Then as soon as we left, Chai pitched a huge fit and was obviously hungry, so we had to pull over and feed him.

When he was done, we went back over the mountain, and headed to the birth center for our 2 week appointment with Alyson. Lucky for us, when we got there, there were no other clients before us, so we barely had to wait at all. That was great. We got out of there in time to go home, eat lunch, and pump, before having to go get Erin.

After eating lunch and pumping, we went to get Erin. That was pretty quick and easy, but then I realized we had to go back home to pick up this one paper I had forgotten on the table, and of course, Erin decided she had to go to the bathroom, so that prolonged our stop at home.

After that, we had to find the WIC office. I thought for sure there was no way we were going to get there on time, but we did... with one minute to spare. That was interesting. It was so crowded that we had to sit basically in another room from the main waiting room where people were actually being called. I had no idea how we were going to hear our names when we were called. Eventually, I found us a place up front, and it was good that I did, because not even 5 minutes later, we were called, and there is no way I would have heard it if we'd stayed where we were.

We were at the WIC office for about 3 hours total. It was exhausting. First, I had to fill out paperwork on me, Orren, and Chai. Then I had to see the main eligibility people, and do more paperwork with them. That's where I had to show proof of income, proof of residence, my ID, Orren's shot record, and Chai's social security card. (Thank goodness we had Chai's social security card. They're really not familiar with homebirth documents, but a social security card is pretty much a universal language.) After we got done with all that, we had to go back out in the waiting room and wait to be called for medical.

Medical was interesting. They had to weigh and measure me, Orren, and Chai. Then they had to test me and Orren's iron levels. Orren was freaking out the whole time, because he hates the doctor's office, and it was like that. I swear I twisted my hip funny just wrestling Orren. We did find out that Chai weighs 11 pounds 7 ounces and is 23 inches, though! Big healthy boy! After medical, we had to go back to the waiting room.

Not long after that, we were called by the breastfeeding consultant. Orren freaked out again because the breastfeeding room is along the same hallway as the room where we got our fingers pricked for iron testing. I had to hold him the whole time we were with the lactation consultant. Honestly, though, that may have been the best part of the whole thing. The breastfeeding room was pretty, and smelled nice, and the lactation consultant was really cool. They treat breastfeeding moms really well there. It makes sense that they would, of course. There is a major emphasis these days on encouraging breastfeeding. That's good, though.

Once we were done there, we went back to the waiting room, and waited to be called back by the same lady who we saw for our eligibility. She gave us the results of our iron tests (me and Orren both had good levels... the same levels, funny enough.) and told us that our heights and weights were all in satisfactory range, and then we did a little more paperwork, and we went back to the waiting room to wait for our card.

When we got our card, our farmers' market coupons, and all the paperwork on what we could get, where we could get it, and everything else, it was like 5 pm almost. We had arrived at 2 pm. We were some of the last people in the building by the time we left. I was surprised the kids were so good for all that time, but they really were. It was not an easy day, but it was worthwhile. We got everything done that we needed. I am sore from head to toe from lifting the stroller in and out out of the car, wrangling certain children, and driving all over the city.

Oh, and the common verdict among everybody, when it came to what had to be done about our milk supply issues. Chai has to latch back on and nurse. The pump was not maintaining my supply enough. So.......



And it doesn't even hurt.

Oh don't act like that pic is inappropriate. You see more boob in the average swimsuit, and you know it. :)

Meet The Baby Party

I'm so excited about our Meet The Baby Party next weekend! It's going to be on Sunday, and just a small thing with a few friends (total of 8 invites sent out this afternoon, 3 RSVP's so far) just for everyone to meet Chai. There's no focus on anything like food or gifts. We'll have a few little snack type things and drinks for everybody, and obviously we won't turn down baby gifts, but it's NOT a baby shower, so nobody should feel like they have to bring something. It's strictly a casual get-together where everyone will get to meet baby Chai. We can't wait!

We grow stuff.

Good day.

I sold six diapers today, which is half the number I have listed for sale right now. It was my first time to sell diapers, and I've got to say, it felt great to recoup some of my investment. I sold them for half what I bought them for, which was a great deal for the buyer (a friend of mine), but also great for me. I used them on both Orren and Chai, and they were great to have in those first days and weeks, and now I have recouped 50% of my investment. It was pretty cool.

Even cooler was the phone call I got an hour after the diapers sold. Thak called me on his way home from work. Not this pay period, but next, he is going on flat rate. I knew it wouldn't be long. I never had a single doubt in my mind he'd be moved up before the end of summer. He's just hoping he can flag as many hours as he needs to. Again, I have no doubt he will.

Things are looking up!


And just because, here is an adorable picture of Orren and Chai this morning:



I don't have many pics of Erin these days, not because I don't want pics of Erin, but because she's seldom home. She's always out running around with friends, which is what a kid her age is supposed to be doing.

My best is good enough.

If you look in the post below this one, you will see a bottle of pumped breastmilk. That's Chai's food right there. He doesn't nurse. None of my kids have nursed for longer than a week. That shocks a lot of people because I know a lot about breastfeeding, academically anyhow. I know every hold there is, the difference between a good latch and a bad latch, and all that other good stuff that everyone needs to know in order to succeed. I've gotten help from lactation consultants, midwives, nurses, and even friends. I know how beneficial it is to breastfeed. I know how evil formula companies are. I've seen all the documentaries, read all the books, and have even joined in on letter writing campaigns to get local hospitals and doctors to stop giving out formula samples, especially to moms who want to breastfeed.

I believe in breastfeeding. I know it's best. I totally respect moms who do it well, especially those who do it beyond one year. I am not those people, though. Despite strong efforts, I have never succeeded. Right now, 10 days in, with pumped milk and a little formula (but mostly pumped milk), is as close as I have ever been to breastfeeding successfully. I have fought hard, but there is always that thing in the back of my mind that says I should have fought harder, that I could have made it work, that the pain was temporary and that I could have done better. That has to go. At some point, my best has to be good enough.

Chai is healthy. He's big and strong and absolutely beautiful. Right now, he's sleeping beside me, smiling as he dreams. He's perfect. He prefers breastmilk to formula, and it kind of makes me feel bad to give him formula when I have to because I know he doesn't like it as much, but he's still ok. Erin and Orren are every bit as perfect as he is, and they didn't even get nearly as much breastmilk as he has so far. Even if I just gave Chai formula, he'd be fine. I can do better than that, though, and so I am. Because I have a good pump this time, I can give him real milk as much as possible, and every bit counts.

This is the downfall of being a research-based parent. I have studied everything half to death, and know beyond a doubt what the best-practice answers to the big parenting questions are. This is a great asset until faced with a situation where MY best isn't the same as THE best. This breastfeeding thing has so far been my Achilles Heel as a parent. The thing is, I'd wager everybody's got one. At some point, our best has to be good enough, as long as it is the result of an honest effort. That is easier said than done, of course, but it is still necessary.

And now, here's a pic of Chai.... right at this moment. Isn't he beautiful?

Photos of the day... random ones.

First, we have something awesome. This is 5 ounces of pumped milk for baby Chai. I have NEVER kept a baby of mine on breastmilk this long, and Chai is still getting more breastmilk than formula. It is an accomplishment, although it may be a small one.


Next, we have something funny! My ice maker went haywire on me yesterday. This is what happens when ice makers attack. You should have seen the floor!

New pics of Chai

Here is Chai with mommy:



Here are my guys! They are a handsome lot, I must say.




Then here is Chai just this morning, wearing one of his Vikings onesies, which won't fit him much longer. Also, an awake pic of Chai! That's somewhat of a rarity!

Baby Chai so far...

Chaiyo is doing great. He's sleeping better, eating great, and of course, growing like a weed. He's absolutely adorable, and Erin and Orren love him. Orren's had a little bit of an adjustment to being a big brother, but nothing major. He's been very demanding and a little whiny, but just typical 2-year-old stuff.

Chai has been on two car trips out of the house, and it went well. He doesn't mind his infant carseat. We haven't tried him in his Radian yet, but that'll come soon since he'll be riding in the car to drop off and pick up Erin before the week is out. I'm glad Erin's school year is over in just a couple weeks. It's not easy with a new baby. He'll be a few months old by the time she goes back to school in the fall, so it'll be 100x easier then. We'll get through these couple weeks that we have to, but I'll be really glad when it's just summer time.

We also know when Chai's first vacation will be. He's going to be like a month and a half old then, or just shy of it. Thak has a drill in another part of the state, and instead of leaving us behind for 4 days while he goes and sees green grass and trees, he's taking us with him! We are SO excited!! Yes, he'll be working all day on Saturday and Sunday at the armory, but me and the kids will be free. We've already talked with some friends who live in that part of the state, and we're going to be meeting up for some fun and playtime for the kids while we're there. The best part of all? Uncle Sam is footing the bill! Yeah, sure, we'll have to pay for me and the kids' food, and cover the difference if the hotel costs more because there are more people staying in it, but the mileage there and the most of the hotel costs, and Thak's meals will be covered! It's amazing! So that's Baby Chai's first road trip. We're so excited!!

Otherwise, once again, breastfeeding proved to be an extreme challenge. Seriously, does anyone actually know how much a 10 pound newborn eats? I'll tell you, it's A LOT, and all I was doing was nursing. I would not get half an hour's sleep before he wanted to nurse again, and he was never full, so after five days of that, we bought a can of formula and began supplementing him with it. It was better already. I also started using my pump instead of nursing all the time, because the pain from nursing was extreme, but the pump was tolerable, and allowed me to heal a little between sessions. Because of doing this, I am pleased to announce that Baby Chai has received more breastmilk than either of my other kids ever did. I only nursed Erin and Orren for one week each, and then went to just formula. This time, we have a really good pump, though, so we've gone ahead and taken a different way with it. Chai is getting mostly breastmilk. In fact, today he hasn't had any formula at all and it's almost noon. Sure, he gets it in a bottle, but it's the way it seems to be working for us. We're all pretty happy with it. I'm downright thrilled to be able to say that I am (albeit indirectly) breastfeeding successfully for the first time.

Chai has also outgrown his newborn diapers already, so we get to sell those. I'm thrilled with that prospect, too. It's not that I dislike our newborn diapers. In fact, I think they're the most adorable things. It's just that they're in amazing condition, and people will pay good money for them, and we're not using them anymore. There's really nothing better than getting paid for stuff you don't use anymore. I'll be making their listing this week. Local moms and dads will have priority since I'd really rather sell locally than to have to ship. As you may imagine, running to the post office with a newborn and a 2.5-year-old is a bit of a daunting prospect. I'll do it, but I'd rather just have my local cloth diapering families come pick these things up from me if at all possible.

So that's about it. What a busy week and a half it's been since Chai has been here. I can't believe how well it's going, but I'm not sure why. It went this well with Orren, too.... a bit rockier with Erin, but she was my first, so that's a given. I think it is safe to say by now that baby Chai is a well established member of the family!

Baby Chai in the fluff!

Who doesn't love newborns in fluffy cloth diapers? I think it's just adorable. So here's Chai in some of his fluff.

This is a Thirsties Duo cover that I thought would fit him a few months. I thought I would need to snap the rise down (via those snaps on the front) until he grew a little, but no. He needs it snapped all the way out right from the start. I'm almost a little bummed he won't get to wear this pretty orange cover for as long as I thought he would!


Then we have him in the prettiest cover we have. It's a Gen-Y Classic in the Serenity print. It's a size Small, and he already needs it on the second waist snap. I love this cover! Thank goodness he'll be able to wear it for a while still.

Chai and Orren

I haven't posted Chaiyo's birth story here yet, but I will. For now, look at how much Chai and Orren look exactly alike. In these pics, Orren is (I think) about a week old, give or take a couple days. Chai is 5 days in the pic of him. Other than the fact that Chai is a little darker, they could just about be the same baby!

This is Orren:



This is Chai: