Our Garrison Commander is cool. He has a public question and answer website that he encourages every soldier and family member who's part of Ft. Bliss to frequent. People can post concerns they have, problems they're having, or things that they want to point out which are going particularly well, and Col Joe (properly, Colonel Joseph Simonelli) will weigh in with his two cents worth. It works really well, actually. I've got to hand it to Col Joe. He gets stuff done! Even better, he replies to almost everybody. (I only say almost because there's one woman who's a known trouble maker, and unfortunately is the wife of one of Thak's buddies, and Col Joe doesn't reply to her much anymore because, like I said, she is a known trouble maker. He replies to everyone else, without fail, and even to her on the rare occasion that she's not making trouble.)
I was reading Col Joe's site the other day, and a lot of people were complaining about their trash cans disappearing. Basically, I guess the post only got a recycling program a couple weeks ago, and they used to issue two trash cans (but no recycling cans) per family, but when they issued the recycling cans, they took away one trash can from each family, thus leaving them with one trash can and one recycling can. Now, mind you, these are very standard sized trash and recycling cans. They are identical to the ones issued by the city of El Paso, which are identical to the ones issued by the cities of Hinesville, Savannah, Austin, and probably everywhere else in the US, too. You get my point. We're not talking about cans that hold one bag or something. They're BIG. Well, people were saying things like, "Col Joe, how are we supposed to function with only one trash can for a family of five?? That's just unreasonable!" Col Joe, who lives on post himself, and is therefore in this situation along with all these others, told them that he's well able to keep his trash to one can's worth if he recycles diligently, and they should be, too. Good answer, sir. Of course, then we heard ten more lazy Army wives telling him how they didn't have time to recycle.
Needless to say, it all rubbed me the wrong way. I was talking about all this with Thak last night (As we were taking the trash and recycling out, of course!) and I asked him if he thought it took more time to recycle than to just send everything to the landfill. He looked at me like I'd lost my mind. He says, "One way or another, you're throwing it in a can. How the hell would it take more time to throw it in one colored can versus another?" Right on. I agree. I've never understood the "I don't have time to recycle" argument, when it's used by people who have curbside pick-up, especially in places like this where it's SO easy. You don't have to separate anything. You just throw all your recyclables in your blue can together, and they go. It's so NOT difficult that I really wish they'd fine people for not doing it.
You know, in Toronto, Canada, there was a legislation proposed just a couple years ago, to pick up trash biweekly, and to charge people by how much they threw away. It would have been a great incentive for people to cut back. The concern that shot this legislation down in the end was, of all things, disposable diapers accumulating for two weeks between pick-ups, and how families with babies would be discriminated against by this legislation since they'd have to pay more than families without diapers to throw away. Can you believe that? They could have gotten on board with the Swedish bill of a few years ago, which would have granted tax credits to families who exclusively cloth diaper, and instead of tax credits, just emphasized (via TV commercials, billboards, etc) how you won't have to pay for more trash pick-up if you cloth diaper. Everyone wins.
Anyhow, I don't see why Ft. Bliss can't adopt a version of this. So if people want to be lazy and wasteful (and after living on post at a different post for three years, I can say there is NO subgroup of our society more wasteful than military families. You would be shocked by the mountains of trash these people generate.) then they can pay for additional trash pick-up. Want an extra trash can? That'll be $20 a month, ma'am. The thing is, this could totally be done. A lot of posts have gone to billing military families for overuse of utilities. They average what usage should be for their type of unit, and if they exceed it by more than, I think 20%, they will get billed for the overage. If they conserve, and come in 20% or more UNDER the average, they will get a check for how much they conserved. Again, this has been a very effective way of combating the wastefulness of the military family lifestyle. This trash thing should go similarly. Maybe I will propose THAT to Col Joe... but via email. I don't want to start a fight on his discussion board. Enough people do that as it is, and I'm in the minority as far as my views on this trash thing, so it wouldn't be pretty. I think Col Joe may see it my way, though. If this busy Colonel can recycle and cut his family's trash output by half, then there is no reason everyone else can't do the same thing. I think I will email him about it.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Update on missing Ft. Stewart wife:
She was found dead. How nasty looking is this dude who killed her? He's practically smirking. (Seriously. Click the link.) Anyhow, they sent her husband home from Iraq, and he should be there this afternoon. (According to a friend of mine who's also a friend of his.)
There's always more to these stories, of course. The thing that jumps out at me is that a nearly identical woman disappeared from that same area during Thak's 3rd tour. They never did find her, though. All of us who were around Ft. Stewart during that time wonder if this same guy might have had something to do with that one also. I'm not much for stereotypes involving the south, but I will say that the back woods of southern Georgia have stories nobody in their right mind would ever want to hear. Frankly, I'm shocked they solved this case at all, especially so quickly.
The Army's official statement is that they had nothing at all to do with it aside from sending soldiers to volunteer on search teams, but I know they'd never have solved this thing if it weren't so visible, and the only reason it was this visible is because of the affiliation with the Army. However it took place, though, it's done, and will be remembered as the latest in a long line of scandals and deaths involving Ft. Stewart in recent years.
There's always more to these stories, of course. The thing that jumps out at me is that a nearly identical woman disappeared from that same area during Thak's 3rd tour. They never did find her, though. All of us who were around Ft. Stewart during that time wonder if this same guy might have had something to do with that one also. I'm not much for stereotypes involving the south, but I will say that the back woods of southern Georgia have stories nobody in their right mind would ever want to hear. Frankly, I'm shocked they solved this case at all, especially so quickly.
The Army's official statement is that they had nothing at all to do with it aside from sending soldiers to volunteer on search teams, but I know they'd never have solved this thing if it weren't so visible, and the only reason it was this visible is because of the affiliation with the Army. However it took place, though, it's done, and will be remembered as the latest in a long line of scandals and deaths involving Ft. Stewart in recent years.
Irony at its finest.
Thak is going to a luncheon hosted by the General today. He's receiving an award (yes, from the General) for meeting his reenlistment quota so fast, and also for just doing a generally good job at it. It's crazy. All the things he's done, and the one thing that gets him a Commanding General's coin is the job he never wanted. Three tours in Iraq, pulling generator parts out of thin air practically, in the days following the invasion, launching the UAV that found Al Quaeda in Iraq's #1 guy, and running the most active UAV flight line in all of Iraq during the surge, and he gets recognized by a General for drawing up reenlistment contracts. It's so weird. It's cool and all, don't get me wrong, but after all the real things that he's done and that have gone unnoticed (or at least, under the radar) the most mundane thing he's done in years gets the highest praise.
Of course, the greatest irony of all is that the best reenlistment NCO on this post can't wait to get out of the Army!
Of course, the greatest irony of all is that the best reenlistment NCO on this post can't wait to get out of the Army!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Welcome back to the world. We missed you.
We just talked to a longtime friend of ours who's serving on the Afghanistan/Pakistan border right now. He told us amazing news! He is divorcing his awful wife!!! Normally, someone getting divorced is not a joyous occasion, but this time, it's different. She was awful. I was at the wedding. I watched this guy flush his life down the toilet, then we all (and by we, I mean all his college friends and most of his relatives) watched him gradually disappear off the face of the earth. Occasionally, he'd sneak out a phone call or an email to one of us, and since we were stationed together for several years, following that, Thak and I would run into him around post every week or so, and if he was alone, we'd stop and talk until his phone rang and it was her. Then he had to go. She was evil. Pure evil. Thak tried to warn him. I tried to warn him. At the wedding, his mother asked Thak one last time to try to talk some sense into him. He's really stubborn, though, (not a bad trait in his line of work, really) and this was one lesson he just had to learn for himself.
I lost even more respect for her over the way this came about, but in a way, I'm glad she showed her true crazy colors just as brightly as she did because that's the only way he'd ever see them. Now that he sees what the rest of us have always seen, he's glad to be done with her, and is spending his days getting his affairs in order so that he can divorce her as quickly as possible when he goes home.
He's also going for full custody of his kids. I hope he gets it. He wouldn't be the first. In Thak's old platoon, there were like half a dozen single dads who had sole custody. People will award custody to soldiers these days, so hopefully that's what happens here. I wouldn't want that bitch raising my kids if I were him either. Thank goodness both of them look just like him, and nothing at all like her.
The best thing of all is that he's himself again. He was lost for so long, and now he's back. Welcome back to the world, friend. We missed you so much for the past 4 years.
I lost even more respect for her over the way this came about, but in a way, I'm glad she showed her true crazy colors just as brightly as she did because that's the only way he'd ever see them. Now that he sees what the rest of us have always seen, he's glad to be done with her, and is spending his days getting his affairs in order so that he can divorce her as quickly as possible when he goes home.
He's also going for full custody of his kids. I hope he gets it. He wouldn't be the first. In Thak's old platoon, there were like half a dozen single dads who had sole custody. People will award custody to soldiers these days, so hopefully that's what happens here. I wouldn't want that bitch raising my kids if I were him either. Thank goodness both of them look just like him, and nothing at all like her.
The best thing of all is that he's himself again. He was lost for so long, and now he's back. Welcome back to the world, friend. We missed you so much for the past 4 years.
Which would you prefer, AIDS or Leprosy?
The Packers are playing the Bears tonight. Man.... it's NFC North, so I should give a shit since it affects the Vikings, but I just can't seem to do that. It's like trying to choose between a couple of disgusting incurable diseases.
Trying to think of the positives:
Bears:
I went to high school with one of their Special Teams guys.
They're not the Packers.
Their fans are slightly (VERY slightly) less annoying than Packers fans.
Their colors are slightly less ugly than the Packers' colors.
Did I mention they're NOT the Packers?
Packers:
Clay Matthews is super hot. (His hair is WAY longer now than in the wiki picture.)
Yeah, that's about all I've got. So I guess I'm going for the Bears this time. This will never happen again.... until the next time they play the Packers, because like all Vikings fans, my favorite teams are the Vikings, and whoever's playing Green Bay!! :D
Trying to think of the positives:
Bears:
I went to high school with one of their Special Teams guys.
They're not the Packers.
Their fans are slightly (VERY slightly) less annoying than Packers fans.
Their colors are slightly less ugly than the Packers' colors.
Did I mention they're NOT the Packers?
Packers:
Clay Matthews is super hot. (His hair is WAY longer now than in the wiki picture.)
Yeah, that's about all I've got. So I guess I'm going for the Bears this time. This will never happen again.... until the next time they play the Packers, because like all Vikings fans, my favorite teams are the Vikings, and whoever's playing Green Bay!! :D
More craziness from Ft. Stewart
So if you see this girl (ok, not girl. She's 42...), you should call local law enforcement (Liberty County SO, if you're in that area), because she is missing. Her husband is in a friend's husband's former unit. (Ha! Did you follow that? Yeah, military... we've all moved, yet we still know everybody either directly or indirectly.) He's been sent home from Iraq, and Ft. Stewart soldiers have aided local fire/rescue in searching most of Liberty and Long counties today. They didn't find anything, though.
Frankly, a lot of us think she took the money and ran. I guess most of us have seen enough of these older women with these low ranking soldiers, and they just disappear one day out of the blue. That's what this looks like, really, but on the off chance that there was foul play involved, keep your eye out for her, and if you see her, let your local sheriff's department know so they can take her home. Who knows.... I just figured I'd repost the APB since all the cool kids are doing it.
Frankly, a lot of us think she took the money and ran. I guess most of us have seen enough of these older women with these low ranking soldiers, and they just disappear one day out of the blue. That's what this looks like, really, but on the off chance that there was foul play involved, keep your eye out for her, and if you see her, let your local sheriff's department know so they can take her home. Who knows.... I just figured I'd repost the APB since all the cool kids are doing it.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Thing #1,000,000 that skeezes me out
So I got an email from a unit I haven't had affiliation with in years, and this thing skeezed me to absolutely no end. It was about a "pregnancy meeting" for all pregnant wives within the battalion. OMG. Seriously? What could this possibly entail? Well, they outlined it. Basically, the OB department of the post hospital (can you hear my stomach turning now?) was coming to do a mass orientation and all that crap, to get the entire battalion done at once. Holy. Shit. It makes my skin crawl. Just when I thought there were no other ways they could possibly come up with to treat women like cattle, they found ANOTHER.
Let me just tell you about what it's like to give birth at a military hospital. Thankfully, I never have had, and never will have, that experience myself, but I know probably over 100 people who have, so I've got a relatively decent handle on what goes on. Basically, you have a baby, 50% shot that's by c-section if you're where we used to be (the place that sent the email) and of those, 50% shot you'll develop an awful infection because apparently that hospital sanitizes its surgical instruments in the lagoon of the sewage plant. Anyhow, once you're stabilized enough that you can assume zombie status, you are shuttled from class to class, and briefed (yeah, briefed) on all things baby. Nope, they wouldn't send people to come talk to you individually, and tailor the approach at all according to your needs (for example, the mom of 7 probably doesn't need a basic baby care class, and the one who is tandem nursing the 2-year-old and the newborn probably doesn't need a spiel on the benefits of breastfeeding). You're just going to be herded from class to class with however many others are in the ward at that time. (I about convulse every time someone talks about this. Can you imagine having to be with a bunch of complete strangers right after you give birth, probably very traumatically?? It's like maternity jail!!) Plus, a lot of times, you have to share a room with someone else. That REALLY grosses me out.
So yeah, good old Army hospital found a way to treat people even more like cattle than they already do. They already do mass appointments a lot of times. Many times, you will not even have the option to be alone during labor (I LOVE being alone during labor. I can't have other people distracting me or it doesn't work.) Sometimes you'll even have a roommate while you deliver, and often will be tended by a doctor you have never met. Then if you survive that, you'll be shuttled to class after class, en masse with whoever's there, separated from your baby most of the time (hello, breastfeeding difficulties, "accidental" circumcisions, and all kinds of other bullshit that should never be an issue.) and now, now they've taken it one step further! Now they want to start cattle treatment from day one. Outstanding.
This is why I went to one appointment there, and RAN. FOR. THE. HILLS. The place gave me the creeps big time, and frankly, the more I hear about military hospital birth, the more disgusted I get. People who go to military hospitals for their care obviously have internalized the logic, "I am nobody special and neither is my baby. I get what I get, and I don't get upset." I'm sorry, but I deserve better, and so do my kids. I don't give a shit that it costs nothing to deliver there. I'd rather give birth in a field and have Thak catch than to take even one bit of what they're dishing out there. Better yet, I'd rather live slim in order to be able to afford to pay a licensed midwife to manage my care in a non-hospital setting. I guess I'm just too used to being treated like an individual human being, with my own attributes, strengths, and shortcomings. Because of this, I'm a little offended that some entity that I have affiliation with for now (the Army) expects that I would be ok to be herded like livestock during one of the most sacred times in the entirety of any person's existence. Uncle Sam, you're killing me here. More so, why haven't other wives stood up and railed against this type of thing? You bet if I couldn't afford to take my business elsewhere, and had to give birth in that butcher shop (er, Army hospital?), I would not have put up with their shit. Why do thousands of wives accept this garbage? Are American women at large, military wives in specific, really that duped?
Let me just tell you about what it's like to give birth at a military hospital. Thankfully, I never have had, and never will have, that experience myself, but I know probably over 100 people who have, so I've got a relatively decent handle on what goes on. Basically, you have a baby, 50% shot that's by c-section if you're where we used to be (the place that sent the email) and of those, 50% shot you'll develop an awful infection because apparently that hospital sanitizes its surgical instruments in the lagoon of the sewage plant. Anyhow, once you're stabilized enough that you can assume zombie status, you are shuttled from class to class, and briefed (yeah, briefed) on all things baby. Nope, they wouldn't send people to come talk to you individually, and tailor the approach at all according to your needs (for example, the mom of 7 probably doesn't need a basic baby care class, and the one who is tandem nursing the 2-year-old and the newborn probably doesn't need a spiel on the benefits of breastfeeding). You're just going to be herded from class to class with however many others are in the ward at that time. (I about convulse every time someone talks about this. Can you imagine having to be with a bunch of complete strangers right after you give birth, probably very traumatically?? It's like maternity jail!!) Plus, a lot of times, you have to share a room with someone else. That REALLY grosses me out.
So yeah, good old Army hospital found a way to treat people even more like cattle than they already do. They already do mass appointments a lot of times. Many times, you will not even have the option to be alone during labor (I LOVE being alone during labor. I can't have other people distracting me or it doesn't work.) Sometimes you'll even have a roommate while you deliver, and often will be tended by a doctor you have never met. Then if you survive that, you'll be shuttled to class after class, en masse with whoever's there, separated from your baby most of the time (hello, breastfeeding difficulties, "accidental" circumcisions, and all kinds of other bullshit that should never be an issue.) and now, now they've taken it one step further! Now they want to start cattle treatment from day one. Outstanding.
This is why I went to one appointment there, and RAN. FOR. THE. HILLS. The place gave me the creeps big time, and frankly, the more I hear about military hospital birth, the more disgusted I get. People who go to military hospitals for their care obviously have internalized the logic, "I am nobody special and neither is my baby. I get what I get, and I don't get upset." I'm sorry, but I deserve better, and so do my kids. I don't give a shit that it costs nothing to deliver there. I'd rather give birth in a field and have Thak catch than to take even one bit of what they're dishing out there. Better yet, I'd rather live slim in order to be able to afford to pay a licensed midwife to manage my care in a non-hospital setting. I guess I'm just too used to being treated like an individual human being, with my own attributes, strengths, and shortcomings. Because of this, I'm a little offended that some entity that I have affiliation with for now (the Army) expects that I would be ok to be herded like livestock during one of the most sacred times in the entirety of any person's existence. Uncle Sam, you're killing me here. More so, why haven't other wives stood up and railed against this type of thing? You bet if I couldn't afford to take my business elsewhere, and had to give birth in that butcher shop (er, Army hospital?), I would not have put up with their shit. Why do thousands of wives accept this garbage? Are American women at large, military wives in specific, really that duped?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Erin is the coolest girl I know.
On the way home from school today, Erin told me about her new friend at school. She said, "Mommy, you remember that show we watched about the people who twitch and can't help it?" (There was a documentary on Discovery Health the other day which showed people with Tourette's Syndrome) and I said, "You mean people with Tourette's Syndrome?" and she said, "Yes. That's what I meant. Well [friend] has that, too!" Then she went on to explain how she helps him stay calm because when he's calm, he doesn't twitch as much, and things are easier for him.
Seriously, we hear so much about schoolyard bullies (Erin even had to deal with that kind of thing when she was in public school here!), mean girls, and kids who ostracize those who are different. Then we've got my kid. She loves everybody, and is a real friend to all people who will allow her to be. She doesn't see anybody's gender, race, ability/disability/differences, or anything like that. Every kid she meets is one more friend as far as she's concerned.
I seriously can say Erin is the coolest girl I have ever met. I may never be able to say that my kid is at the top of the class academically, but I can say with the utmost certainty that my kid is one of the kindest. I hope I always can say that.
Seriously, we hear so much about schoolyard bullies (Erin even had to deal with that kind of thing when she was in public school here!), mean girls, and kids who ostracize those who are different. Then we've got my kid. She loves everybody, and is a real friend to all people who will allow her to be. She doesn't see anybody's gender, race, ability/disability/differences, or anything like that. Every kid she meets is one more friend as far as she's concerned.
I seriously can say Erin is the coolest girl I have ever met. I may never be able to say that my kid is at the top of the class academically, but I can say with the utmost certainty that my kid is one of the kindest. I hope I always can say that.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Carseat safety week, post 2: Harnessing. Not just for toddlers.
First, I will introduce you to the Kyle David Miller Foundation. It is an organization started by a family who lost their little boy in a car accident. He would have lived had he been in a 5-point harness, but he wasn't, so he died. They started this organization to raise awareness of the importance of harnessing, and also to give high weight 5-point harnessed carseats to families who cannot afford them. Their waiting list is about 10 miles long, so if you have some donation money to spare, that would be a good place to put it. You might save a kid's life, right here in the good old USA.
Anyhow, harnessing has got to be the grayest area of all carseat topics. Everyone SHOULD know that you rear-face to at least two years of age, longer if possible, because the American Academy of Pediatrics put that out for us years ago. Harnessing is grayer, though. Ask a carseat manufacturer, and they'll tell you their boosters are good from 30 or 40 pounds, some even specify 3 years old. Pretty scary, right? A lot of parents do shockingly little research when they go buy a carseat. They just go to the store, and look at what includes their child's age within its limits, and pick a color (or whatever's cheapest). Sometimes they get "help" from salespeople. Have you ever talked to the salespeople at Babies R Us? It is scary how clueless they are. Yet, people like these are many parents' go-to source of information about carseats. Even the new display in the carseat aisle of Target is more informative (and informed) than the salespeople at major baby retailers when it comes to carseats. Your best bet is to ask a Child Passenger Safety Technician to recommend seats for your kid if you're in need of a new one. They'll be able to tell you what's good and what's not, as well as clear up anything you're stumped about. When I'm stumped, I ask a tech. Hell, even if you don't think you're stumped (98% of parents THINK they're using their kids' carseats correctly, yet only roughly 30% are.) it's a good idea to ask a tech, periodically, just to make sure you haven't missed anything. They are also experts in determining when a kid is actually ready to booster train. Size is hardly the beginning of the story. One tech I've asked to debunk stuff for me on numerous occasions, told me that she'd rather see a 38 pound 6-year-old in a booster, than a 50-pound 4-year-old. The simple reason is that maturity is a huge factor in readiness for booster training. Size is secondary.
A few states have laws which state that children must remain in a 5-point harness until they're 4 years and/or 40 pounds (whether it's and or or, depends on the state) but some states such as South Carolina, have some seriously horrid loopholes in their harnessing laws. They want kids in a harness to age 4, I believe, but they make an exception for kids who are being fed. Yeah, riddle me that. Anyhow, some states actually have a half decent harness law, but for one, it's not the majority of states, and for another, I do mean HALF decent. The fact is that no kid is served by arbitrary guidelines when it comes to something that's very individual. The number of "minimum standard of the law" parents out there really astounds me. Even people whose states have harnessing laws, need to take this law as exactly what it is, A MINIMUM. It's a place to start. The fact is that there's hardly a 4-year-old on the planet who's mature enough to sit right in a booster. If they outgrew their convertible seat, then buy them a forward-facing-only, high-weight-harness seat such as the Britax Frontier or the Graco Nautilus. Money is no excuse.
Now, when ARE kids ready to use a booster? Well, most popular guidelines (anything from the NHTSA, state highway patrol, or even car-seat.org) say 4 years old, but no tech on the planet recommends that. The commonly held Best Practice is, when the child is mature enough to sit correctly in their seat (not leaning everywhere and anywhere just because they can) for the entire car ride, they are mature enough to use a booster. There have also been studies which show the risk of submarining is greater for kids under 40 pounds. Submarining is when a child slides UNDER the lap portion of the seatbelt when in a crash. As you may imagine, this can cause MASSIVE injuries to basically every part of the body. Now, there are some kids who don't hit 40 pounds until they're pretty old (a tech I know, has a 7-year-old who is 38 pounds), and sometimes these kids are tall enough that they have outgrown the top slots of their high-weight-harnessed seat. In these cases, it is necessary to buy a very high quality booster. The Sunshine Kids Monterey is my booster of choice (although Erin was 46 pounds when we boostered her full time). It has a seat that is sloped enough that it reduces chances of submarining. Another one I really love is the Britax Parkway which actually has an anti-submarining clip. It attaches to the lap portion of the belt, essentially creating a 4-point harness, and preventing submarining in smaller kids.
Again, though, instances in which it would be necessary to consider these things would be so rare if it wasn't so common to put kids into booster seats at age 3 (in states with no harnessing laws) or 4 (in states with harnessing laws). Harnessing isn't just for toddlers! Big kids can stay harnessed, and be much better off for it. It's far safer to wait until a kid is truly ready for the next type of carseat before moving them up. Remember, a step "up" in carseats is a step down in safety. Just like we know it's not good to go from rear-facing to forward-facing before we absolutely have to, it's also not good to go from 5-point to booster before the kid is absolutely ready. There is no finite guide for booster readiness, like how we have the 5-step test for readiness to give up the booster and use just the seatbelt. Instead, harnessing is the grayest of all carseat safety topics. That is all the more reason for parents to become very educated on these subjects. Talk to a tech, join car-seat.org, ask people like me, who have kids in far safer seat configurations than others their age WHY we do it that way, GOOGLE IT!! There are a million ways to learn about this stuff, but the fact is that parents MUST do it.
To throw another angle into this discussion, did you know that Sweden, which has the lowest traffic casualty rate for kids (the US has one of the highest), forbids the use of forward-facing harnessed seats? They do. It's due to the risk of head excursion. Swedish parents often leave their children harnessed REAR-FACING to the age of 5 or 6, and then move them directly to a booster. (Swedish carseats rear-face to about 55 pounds on average.) Increasingly, American parents are adopting the Swedish system. Thanks to the introduction of the Radian XTSL (Orren's seat!) with its 45 pound rear-facing weight limit, and TONS of legroom for the rear-facing child, it's realistic to rear-face until booster age, for families who would like to. It's been working for the Swedes since 1967. It's another thing to check into. Like I said, families absolutely must do their research, especially in a country like the US, which puts child passenger safety at such a low priority.
Do not take the word of government agencies (they'll only give you the minimums) or product manufacturers on when you should "demote" your kid to the next level of carseat. Be informed. Keep them harnessed, whether you use the Swedish method, and rear-face all the way to booster age, or you use the US system and use a forward-facing harnessed seat for a while, don't be hasty to booster. Nobody is done any favors by "minimum standard" parenting. Best practice is what I want for my kids, and I hope it's what you want for yours, too.
Anyhow, harnessing has got to be the grayest area of all carseat topics. Everyone SHOULD know that you rear-face to at least two years of age, longer if possible, because the American Academy of Pediatrics put that out for us years ago. Harnessing is grayer, though. Ask a carseat manufacturer, and they'll tell you their boosters are good from 30 or 40 pounds, some even specify 3 years old. Pretty scary, right? A lot of parents do shockingly little research when they go buy a carseat. They just go to the store, and look at what includes their child's age within its limits, and pick a color (or whatever's cheapest). Sometimes they get "help" from salespeople. Have you ever talked to the salespeople at Babies R Us? It is scary how clueless they are. Yet, people like these are many parents' go-to source of information about carseats. Even the new display in the carseat aisle of Target is more informative (and informed) than the salespeople at major baby retailers when it comes to carseats. Your best bet is to ask a Child Passenger Safety Technician to recommend seats for your kid if you're in need of a new one. They'll be able to tell you what's good and what's not, as well as clear up anything you're stumped about. When I'm stumped, I ask a tech. Hell, even if you don't think you're stumped (98% of parents THINK they're using their kids' carseats correctly, yet only roughly 30% are.) it's a good idea to ask a tech, periodically, just to make sure you haven't missed anything. They are also experts in determining when a kid is actually ready to booster train. Size is hardly the beginning of the story. One tech I've asked to debunk stuff for me on numerous occasions, told me that she'd rather see a 38 pound 6-year-old in a booster, than a 50-pound 4-year-old. The simple reason is that maturity is a huge factor in readiness for booster training. Size is secondary.
A few states have laws which state that children must remain in a 5-point harness until they're 4 years and/or 40 pounds (whether it's and or or, depends on the state) but some states such as South Carolina, have some seriously horrid loopholes in their harnessing laws. They want kids in a harness to age 4, I believe, but they make an exception for kids who are being fed. Yeah, riddle me that. Anyhow, some states actually have a half decent harness law, but for one, it's not the majority of states, and for another, I do mean HALF decent. The fact is that no kid is served by arbitrary guidelines when it comes to something that's very individual. The number of "minimum standard of the law" parents out there really astounds me. Even people whose states have harnessing laws, need to take this law as exactly what it is, A MINIMUM. It's a place to start. The fact is that there's hardly a 4-year-old on the planet who's mature enough to sit right in a booster. If they outgrew their convertible seat, then buy them a forward-facing-only, high-weight-harness seat such as the Britax Frontier or the Graco Nautilus. Money is no excuse.
Now, when ARE kids ready to use a booster? Well, most popular guidelines (anything from the NHTSA, state highway patrol, or even car-seat.org) say 4 years old, but no tech on the planet recommends that. The commonly held Best Practice is, when the child is mature enough to sit correctly in their seat (not leaning everywhere and anywhere just because they can) for the entire car ride, they are mature enough to use a booster. There have also been studies which show the risk of submarining is greater for kids under 40 pounds. Submarining is when a child slides UNDER the lap portion of the seatbelt when in a crash. As you may imagine, this can cause MASSIVE injuries to basically every part of the body. Now, there are some kids who don't hit 40 pounds until they're pretty old (a tech I know, has a 7-year-old who is 38 pounds), and sometimes these kids are tall enough that they have outgrown the top slots of their high-weight-harnessed seat. In these cases, it is necessary to buy a very high quality booster. The Sunshine Kids Monterey is my booster of choice (although Erin was 46 pounds when we boostered her full time). It has a seat that is sloped enough that it reduces chances of submarining. Another one I really love is the Britax Parkway which actually has an anti-submarining clip. It attaches to the lap portion of the belt, essentially creating a 4-point harness, and preventing submarining in smaller kids.
Again, though, instances in which it would be necessary to consider these things would be so rare if it wasn't so common to put kids into booster seats at age 3 (in states with no harnessing laws) or 4 (in states with harnessing laws). Harnessing isn't just for toddlers! Big kids can stay harnessed, and be much better off for it. It's far safer to wait until a kid is truly ready for the next type of carseat before moving them up. Remember, a step "up" in carseats is a step down in safety. Just like we know it's not good to go from rear-facing to forward-facing before we absolutely have to, it's also not good to go from 5-point to booster before the kid is absolutely ready. There is no finite guide for booster readiness, like how we have the 5-step test for readiness to give up the booster and use just the seatbelt. Instead, harnessing is the grayest of all carseat safety topics. That is all the more reason for parents to become very educated on these subjects. Talk to a tech, join car-seat.org, ask people like me, who have kids in far safer seat configurations than others their age WHY we do it that way, GOOGLE IT!! There are a million ways to learn about this stuff, but the fact is that parents MUST do it.
To throw another angle into this discussion, did you know that Sweden, which has the lowest traffic casualty rate for kids (the US has one of the highest), forbids the use of forward-facing harnessed seats? They do. It's due to the risk of head excursion. Swedish parents often leave their children harnessed REAR-FACING to the age of 5 or 6, and then move them directly to a booster. (Swedish carseats rear-face to about 55 pounds on average.) Increasingly, American parents are adopting the Swedish system. Thanks to the introduction of the Radian XTSL (Orren's seat!) with its 45 pound rear-facing weight limit, and TONS of legroom for the rear-facing child, it's realistic to rear-face until booster age, for families who would like to. It's been working for the Swedes since 1967. It's another thing to check into. Like I said, families absolutely must do their research, especially in a country like the US, which puts child passenger safety at such a low priority.
Do not take the word of government agencies (they'll only give you the minimums) or product manufacturers on when you should "demote" your kid to the next level of carseat. Be informed. Keep them harnessed, whether you use the Swedish method, and rear-face all the way to booster age, or you use the US system and use a forward-facing harnessed seat for a while, don't be hasty to booster. Nobody is done any favors by "minimum standard" parenting. Best practice is what I want for my kids, and I hope it's what you want for yours, too.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Dear Crazy Lady:
I know we live in the world where nothing we ever do is good enough. Yes, I cleaned my floor with bleach today. I'm sick as hell, and the house felt ill to me. Bleach kills illnesses. Yes, I'm aware that bleach is a harsh chemical. You know what? Look in my freezer, and you will find grass-fed, organic meat. Look in my refrigerator, and you will find about half/half organic and local produce (the local is not organic. The organic is not local.) Look in my cleaning cabinet, and you will find all "green" cleaners, or spray bottles with vinegar. I don't use paper products other than toilet paper in this house. My toddler is in cloth diapers. My kids even ride in non-toxic carseats.
I'm 99% sure that my one washing of my diseased floors with a solution of bleach and water, did not expose my family to a fractions as many toxins as the average Wal-Mart shopping, crap eating, mainstream-cleaners-100%-of-the-time, family. We're not going to die of clean floors.
Yes, I'm aware that there are all-natural things that work just as well. I don't have any, and I feel like straight up SHIT. I'm not leaving the house, dragging two kids with me, all the way across town and through the mountain pass (where we've had a lot of stray bullets from the Mexico side lately, actually) just to avoid bleaching my floors.
Take a hike.
Love,
Me.
I'm 99% sure that my one washing of my diseased floors with a solution of bleach and water, did not expose my family to a fractions as many toxins as the average Wal-Mart shopping, crap eating, mainstream-cleaners-100%-of-the-time, family. We're not going to die of clean floors.
Yes, I'm aware that there are all-natural things that work just as well. I don't have any, and I feel like straight up SHIT. I'm not leaving the house, dragging two kids with me, all the way across town and through the mountain pass (where we've had a lot of stray bullets from the Mexico side lately, actually) just to avoid bleaching my floors.
Take a hike.
Love,
Me.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Yes, there was another shooting. No, it wasn't near us.
There was another shooting on post today. It was at the 24 hour shopette (gas station, basically) on main post. Thak works on Biggs Airfield, which is entirely separate from main post, and he came home early today to help with the kids because apparently I caught the bubonic plague in cold form. Nobody we know was anywhere near the incident, as far as we're aware, and at this point nobody really knows anything about it, except that there were two people shot, and that the MP's took out the shooter. I don't know who the MP's were at this point, or if we know them. We also don't know who the shooter was, nor the victims. We're about 99.9% sure that none of the above were from Thak's unit, because the entire unit was in the field today. There's really no telling at this point. So yeah.... another glorious day at Ft. Bliss, another shooting. That's 3 in the past year and a half. Great place.
It's Child Passenger Safety Week!
In light of the fact that this is Child Passenger Safety Week, nationwide, I want to talk about the awesome stuff that the state of Texas is doing to further this cause. This stuff did not originate within the past day or so, but rather, has been going on for months.
All along the major roadways throughout El Paso, there are billboards in English and Spanish showing a girl correctly restrained in a carseat, with the message "3 out of 4 children aren't properly restrained in the car." and the web URL to bucklethemright.org, a site made by the state of Texas, to brief parents on proper carseat use. I though that was outstanding.
They took it one step further, though, and ran radio ads on every station, during prime driving hours, giving the same information as is on the billboards. Again, they do this in English on the English stations and Spanish on the Spanish stations, so it reaches everyone. I'm particularly glad that all of these ads are running in Spanish as well as English, because really, at the risk of sounding racist, it's the Mexicans who are the most lax on carseat use. Yeah, you bet I've seen some white people really drop the ball on this as well, but I see dozens of Mexican and Mexican-American children every single time I drive, who aren't even in carseats. I have never seen anyone else do that, so I think they need this message even more than the average American parent who can't be bothered to read an owner's manual.
Texas also did something really cool. They made a video about all the stuff that goes into buckling a kid in right, installing a carseat correctly, and even showing best practice rather than bare minimums. Sure, years ago, the AAP recommended rear-facing only to 1 and 20, but the recommendation has been 2 and beyond for several years now. The techs in the video show this. Also, while Texas does not have a harnessing law (only a proper use clause in the 8 or 4'9" carseat law, thus resulting in a lot of 3-year-olds in boosters) these techs showed a first grader moving from 5-point harness to high-back booster. Outstanding. Most kids aren't mature enough to sit properly (or big enough to sit safely) in a booster until they're 5 or 6, so they hit that one right on. Then for their example of moving from booster to just seatbelt, the kid they used was probably 11 years old (Even though TX law only requires them to be 8) and TRULY passed the 5-step test!! It was great!! They really knocked this one out of the park.
Now, of course, when I posted it gleefully to a carseat webpage, all anyone could do was pick it apart, so I'm just going to add in, so my inbox doesn't get filled with nasty-grams, I, too, noticed that the booster positions the belt poorly for the girl in the purple shirt right at the beginning, and that the kid who was turning forward-facing had long outgrown the rear-facing height limit of that seat, and that the kid in the Cosco seat toward the end has a low chest clip. I, too, noticed all these things, but people, take it for what it's worth. A government agency actually is promoting best practice. This is a video that thousands of Texan families will see, and some people will realize for the first time (because the techs say it time and time again on the video) "I've got to get those straps tight enough, and that clip goes at armpit level." It may even stick with some that you don't HAVE TO turn your kid forward-facing at a year and 20 pounds. It might even rub off on somebody that a Kindergartener could wear a 5-point harness, and that the minimum standard of the law is just that, a MINIMUM! I think Texas did a great job. That's all there is to it. If this video saves even one kid (or "Little Texan" as the website says!) then it's accomplished something great. Somehow, I think it'll accomplish way more than that.
For Child Passenger Safety Week, and always, remember to use carseats correctly every single time, and that a step up in carseat, is a step down in safety, so don't be in a rush. If you cannot afford a carseat, you can get one for free from the state of Texas. You can find information on that, on bucklethemright.org. I'll be posting all week about child passenger safety topics!
All along the major roadways throughout El Paso, there are billboards in English and Spanish showing a girl correctly restrained in a carseat, with the message "3 out of 4 children aren't properly restrained in the car." and the web URL to bucklethemright.org, a site made by the state of Texas, to brief parents on proper carseat use. I though that was outstanding.
They took it one step further, though, and ran radio ads on every station, during prime driving hours, giving the same information as is on the billboards. Again, they do this in English on the English stations and Spanish on the Spanish stations, so it reaches everyone. I'm particularly glad that all of these ads are running in Spanish as well as English, because really, at the risk of sounding racist, it's the Mexicans who are the most lax on carseat use. Yeah, you bet I've seen some white people really drop the ball on this as well, but I see dozens of Mexican and Mexican-American children every single time I drive, who aren't even in carseats. I have never seen anyone else do that, so I think they need this message even more than the average American parent who can't be bothered to read an owner's manual.
Texas also did something really cool. They made a video about all the stuff that goes into buckling a kid in right, installing a carseat correctly, and even showing best practice rather than bare minimums. Sure, years ago, the AAP recommended rear-facing only to 1 and 20, but the recommendation has been 2 and beyond for several years now. The techs in the video show this. Also, while Texas does not have a harnessing law (only a proper use clause in the 8 or 4'9" carseat law, thus resulting in a lot of 3-year-olds in boosters) these techs showed a first grader moving from 5-point harness to high-back booster. Outstanding. Most kids aren't mature enough to sit properly (or big enough to sit safely) in a booster until they're 5 or 6, so they hit that one right on. Then for their example of moving from booster to just seatbelt, the kid they used was probably 11 years old (Even though TX law only requires them to be 8) and TRULY passed the 5-step test!! It was great!! They really knocked this one out of the park.
Now, of course, when I posted it gleefully to a carseat webpage, all anyone could do was pick it apart, so I'm just going to add in, so my inbox doesn't get filled with nasty-grams, I, too, noticed that the booster positions the belt poorly for the girl in the purple shirt right at the beginning, and that the kid who was turning forward-facing had long outgrown the rear-facing height limit of that seat, and that the kid in the Cosco seat toward the end has a low chest clip. I, too, noticed all these things, but people, take it for what it's worth. A government agency actually is promoting best practice. This is a video that thousands of Texan families will see, and some people will realize for the first time (because the techs say it time and time again on the video) "I've got to get those straps tight enough, and that clip goes at armpit level." It may even stick with some that you don't HAVE TO turn your kid forward-facing at a year and 20 pounds. It might even rub off on somebody that a Kindergartener could wear a 5-point harness, and that the minimum standard of the law is just that, a MINIMUM! I think Texas did a great job. That's all there is to it. If this video saves even one kid (or "Little Texan" as the website says!) then it's accomplished something great. Somehow, I think it'll accomplish way more than that.
For Child Passenger Safety Week, and always, remember to use carseats correctly every single time, and that a step up in carseat, is a step down in safety, so don't be in a rush. If you cannot afford a carseat, you can get one for free from the state of Texas. You can find information on that, on bucklethemright.org. I'll be posting all week about child passenger safety topics!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Tell me, do civilians eat this type of thing up?
I saw a story on the news tonight that I found incredibly disturbing. It's nothing new, actually. I've seen, read, and heard variations of this same story close to a dozen times over the years, and every single time, it just made me cringe. So tell me, does anyone on this planet find something cool or heartwarming about a woman giving birth on Skype or other webcam service so her husband can witness it while he's deployed? I figure they must, because the news services (everything from the local news, to Army Times, to shows like 60 Minutes) just seem to eat these stories up.
Let me paint you a picture of this trainwreck:
~Woman who's WAY too old for her husband's rank. She also talks like there's no way in hell she is the owner of anything remotely resembling a high school diploma.
~Trashy looking soldier who's usually lower-enlisted, but MIGHT be a Buck Sergeant in rare cases.
~Nasty old gray Army PT shirt laid over the baby like a blanket (ewww... you never get the funk out of those things. I would never put that on my kid.)
~Picture on nightstand of husband looking every bit like Gomer Pile.
~Bottles (because who would ever bother with that silly breastfeeding? I don't know why, but I just think bottle feeding from birth is so trashy.)
~Random and frequent mention of the word "hero".
I swear, it was exactly like a trainwreck. I didn't really want to be watching it, but I just sat there with my head cocked a bit, as I often do, and my jaw a bit slack, watching this crazy shit unfold in front of me on my little TV screen. I thought to myself, is this the kind of thing that civilians like to see? Do John and Jane Q. Public think this is representative of the "cool things" Army families do while undergoing deployments? Does it put a happy or cute spin on multiple tours and serious issues, like the fact that some soldiers don't even get to meet their children until after their first birthday? (Don't think that happens? I can name you three like that without even trying.)
I just don't understand why anybody would ever do that. For one, I could never have concentrated in labor if I knew I was being videoed. Plus, there are a lot of soldiers, especially in Afghanistan, who don't have the availability of internet in their rooms, so their only internet access is in the public MWR computer center. In previous reports like this, I have read accounts of lower-enlisted soldiers watching their children's births in the MWR center, with people all around them, in half hour increments (because, you know, there's a time limit). I swear, the last thing I'd ever do is broadcast something like that to the other side of the planet knowing there's a great chance a bunch of fools from other units (or worse, the same unit!) would be walking by gawking at the screen. (Think soldiers don't do that? They do. I know. I was lower-enlisted once, and have used my share of MWR centers, although fortunately, I have not witnessed a birth-via-webcam.)
The whole situation just makes me cringe. There's nothing cool or happy about it. It's damned ridiculous that people are even in that position, and this just goes to show how stupid a lot of wives get during deployments. Ever see the thing on Good Morning America where the Navy wife carried around a mannequin dressed like her husband for the whole time he was gone, (which was a whopping four months... I won't even expand on what I think of that.), or heard of a "Flat Daddy"? Yeah, that's a life size cardboard cutout you can get made of your husband when he's deployed. People get these things and take them everywhere. I know some people insane enough to haul a gigantic hunk of cardboard to Disney World!!! No kidding. So yeah, we've got Submariners' wives hauling around mannequins in Navy uniforms, Army wives hauling their recycling to Disney World (and everywhere else), and every few months, we get to hear another story about how Sally Sue from the trailer park gave birth on webcam and her husband PVT Pile (and his entire unit, more than likely) got to see it all the way in whatever God-Forsaken shithole he was sent to (which usually isn't all that God-Forsaken compared to other places).
When will the madness end? Seriously, I get that this lifestyle is enough to drive even the sanest person among us a little batty, but at the same point in time, people, remember that we're part of a very tiny percentage of the nation. Everyone's looking at us. Don't do stupid shit and get on the news. It's not cool. If you MUST get on the news for something military related, run the Army 10-Miler in DC, or start a charity, raise money for wounded soldiers within the unit, or become an activist for some military-related cause. (All of these were popular with wives during all of Thak's deployments with 3rd ID.) I guess it's Murphy's Law of the media, though. When a tornado hits a town, they never find the town astrophysicist to describe what happened, if you know what I mean. I guess it's the same thing here. The media loves a dumbass. Just remember that, civilian folks, next time you see reports of Sally Sue Pile birthing on webcam.
Let me paint you a picture of this trainwreck:
~Woman who's WAY too old for her husband's rank. She also talks like there's no way in hell she is the owner of anything remotely resembling a high school diploma.
~Trashy looking soldier who's usually lower-enlisted, but MIGHT be a Buck Sergeant in rare cases.
~Nasty old gray Army PT shirt laid over the baby like a blanket (ewww... you never get the funk out of those things. I would never put that on my kid.)
~Picture on nightstand of husband looking every bit like Gomer Pile.
~Bottles (because who would ever bother with that silly breastfeeding? I don't know why, but I just think bottle feeding from birth is so trashy.)
~Random and frequent mention of the word "hero".
I swear, it was exactly like a trainwreck. I didn't really want to be watching it, but I just sat there with my head cocked a bit, as I often do, and my jaw a bit slack, watching this crazy shit unfold in front of me on my little TV screen. I thought to myself, is this the kind of thing that civilians like to see? Do John and Jane Q. Public think this is representative of the "cool things" Army families do while undergoing deployments? Does it put a happy or cute spin on multiple tours and serious issues, like the fact that some soldiers don't even get to meet their children until after their first birthday? (Don't think that happens? I can name you three like that without even trying.)
I just don't understand why anybody would ever do that. For one, I could never have concentrated in labor if I knew I was being videoed. Plus, there are a lot of soldiers, especially in Afghanistan, who don't have the availability of internet in their rooms, so their only internet access is in the public MWR computer center. In previous reports like this, I have read accounts of lower-enlisted soldiers watching their children's births in the MWR center, with people all around them, in half hour increments (because, you know, there's a time limit). I swear, the last thing I'd ever do is broadcast something like that to the other side of the planet knowing there's a great chance a bunch of fools from other units (or worse, the same unit!) would be walking by gawking at the screen. (Think soldiers don't do that? They do. I know. I was lower-enlisted once, and have used my share of MWR centers, although fortunately, I have not witnessed a birth-via-webcam.)
The whole situation just makes me cringe. There's nothing cool or happy about it. It's damned ridiculous that people are even in that position, and this just goes to show how stupid a lot of wives get during deployments. Ever see the thing on Good Morning America where the Navy wife carried around a mannequin dressed like her husband for the whole time he was gone, (which was a whopping four months... I won't even expand on what I think of that.), or heard of a "Flat Daddy"? Yeah, that's a life size cardboard cutout you can get made of your husband when he's deployed. People get these things and take them everywhere. I know some people insane enough to haul a gigantic hunk of cardboard to Disney World!!! No kidding. So yeah, we've got Submariners' wives hauling around mannequins in Navy uniforms, Army wives hauling their recycling to Disney World (and everywhere else), and every few months, we get to hear another story about how Sally Sue from the trailer park gave birth on webcam and her husband PVT Pile (and his entire unit, more than likely) got to see it all the way in whatever God-Forsaken shithole he was sent to (which usually isn't all that God-Forsaken compared to other places).
When will the madness end? Seriously, I get that this lifestyle is enough to drive even the sanest person among us a little batty, but at the same point in time, people, remember that we're part of a very tiny percentage of the nation. Everyone's looking at us. Don't do stupid shit and get on the news. It's not cool. If you MUST get on the news for something military related, run the Army 10-Miler in DC, or start a charity, raise money for wounded soldiers within the unit, or become an activist for some military-related cause. (All of these were popular with wives during all of Thak's deployments with 3rd ID.) I guess it's Murphy's Law of the media, though. When a tornado hits a town, they never find the town astrophysicist to describe what happened, if you know what I mean. I guess it's the same thing here. The media loves a dumbass. Just remember that, civilian folks, next time you see reports of Sally Sue Pile birthing on webcam.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Yay for public assistance!! WOOOO!
Real tweet from a girl I know:
"Yay!! Bubba got free lunch and breakfast at school, and we just got new WIC vouchers, too!" (Names have been changed, obviously.)
Holy crap, dude. I'm not saying there's anything particularly wrong with being on free lunch or WIC, but frankly, military families being on it does somewhat offend my Libertarian sensibilities. For one, when you've got things like free housing (these people live on post) and commissary benefits, then why on earth do you even need this stuff? Sure, her husband is, well, a low-ranking fellow, and they have multiple kids (not a smart decision at that rank, really, but "everybody else is doing it", right?) but people like these really make me think that personal responsibility is absolutely dead in this country, especially among younger military families. I mean, really? We, the people, have to pay for you to have "Free" food (of course, nothing is really free), when we, the people, are already giving you a house, discounted groceries, and a paycheck every month? Really?
Some would say I'm just "hating" because I don't qualify for any of that, but that's not it at all. People who know me well, know that when I had Erin, I received WIC for the first year of her life. It was when I got married that I stopped receiving it. I knew we wouldn't qualify, but I also didn't think it was really right to receive public assistance when we didn't really need it. As the wife of a Sergeant, I could make it without that kind of thing. Of course, one also must consider that the majority of people at that rank have lots more kids than we had, so a lot did qualify, and still do, while we don't just because we have fewer kids. I think that's a good thing. It means we don't have more than we can support. I LOVE the fact that we don't qualify for any form of assistance. It means we're doing well. Who in their right mind would actually be proud of qualifying for government programs for the poor? It means you're poor! Who would want that?
There are also shady ways of reporting (or not reporting) military income since base pay is usually just over half the story, and all else is not recorded for tax purposes, it's really easy to look a lot poorer than you are, when really, yeah, your base pay may make it look that way, but you neglected to mention that if you live on post, you're not paying rent or utilities AT ALL (and probably live in a way nicer house than you can afford if you're below the rank of E6), and if you live off post, you're getting a housing allowance which at least helps with that (and at Thak's rank, covers it completely even for a very nice big house!), AND every Enlisted soldier (Private thru Sergeant Major) who doesn't hold a meal card (so, any who don't live in the barracks, so, every married soldier there is), gets about $300 a month as a food allowance. If you can't feed a family of 4 on that, especially with a commissary at your disposal, you need grocery lessons. So basically, your base pay is what you have to get everything BUT housing and food from. Well, when you look at it that way, military folks don't look so poor, do they? It's because they're really not. I just don't think it's right to get public assistance if you're making it just fine.
All that aside, though, the thing that really sent my jaw floorward, was the "WHOOPEE!! Free shit!!" tone. Really? If your husband got out of the Army, and you got food stamps and Medicaid, would you gleefully tweet that, too? If so, gross. Let me just say, I hope to NEVER be on public assistance EVER, but if hell freezes and we end up going that route, you can bet your last dollar (to me, because at that point, I'd need it) that I wouldn't go bragging about it. Who does that??
"Yay!! Bubba got free lunch and breakfast at school, and we just got new WIC vouchers, too!" (Names have been changed, obviously.)
Holy crap, dude. I'm not saying there's anything particularly wrong with being on free lunch or WIC, but frankly, military families being on it does somewhat offend my Libertarian sensibilities. For one, when you've got things like free housing (these people live on post) and commissary benefits, then why on earth do you even need this stuff? Sure, her husband is, well, a low-ranking fellow, and they have multiple kids (not a smart decision at that rank, really, but "everybody else is doing it", right?) but people like these really make me think that personal responsibility is absolutely dead in this country, especially among younger military families. I mean, really? We, the people, have to pay for you to have "Free" food (of course, nothing is really free), when we, the people, are already giving you a house, discounted groceries, and a paycheck every month? Really?
Some would say I'm just "hating" because I don't qualify for any of that, but that's not it at all. People who know me well, know that when I had Erin, I received WIC for the first year of her life. It was when I got married that I stopped receiving it. I knew we wouldn't qualify, but I also didn't think it was really right to receive public assistance when we didn't really need it. As the wife of a Sergeant, I could make it without that kind of thing. Of course, one also must consider that the majority of people at that rank have lots more kids than we had, so a lot did qualify, and still do, while we don't just because we have fewer kids. I think that's a good thing. It means we don't have more than we can support. I LOVE the fact that we don't qualify for any form of assistance. It means we're doing well. Who in their right mind would actually be proud of qualifying for government programs for the poor? It means you're poor! Who would want that?
There are also shady ways of reporting (or not reporting) military income since base pay is usually just over half the story, and all else is not recorded for tax purposes, it's really easy to look a lot poorer than you are, when really, yeah, your base pay may make it look that way, but you neglected to mention that if you live on post, you're not paying rent or utilities AT ALL (and probably live in a way nicer house than you can afford if you're below the rank of E6), and if you live off post, you're getting a housing allowance which at least helps with that (and at Thak's rank, covers it completely even for a very nice big house!), AND every Enlisted soldier (Private thru Sergeant Major) who doesn't hold a meal card (so, any who don't live in the barracks, so, every married soldier there is), gets about $300 a month as a food allowance. If you can't feed a family of 4 on that, especially with a commissary at your disposal, you need grocery lessons. So basically, your base pay is what you have to get everything BUT housing and food from. Well, when you look at it that way, military folks don't look so poor, do they? It's because they're really not. I just don't think it's right to get public assistance if you're making it just fine.
All that aside, though, the thing that really sent my jaw floorward, was the "WHOOPEE!! Free shit!!" tone. Really? If your husband got out of the Army, and you got food stamps and Medicaid, would you gleefully tweet that, too? If so, gross. Let me just say, I hope to NEVER be on public assistance EVER, but if hell freezes and we end up going that route, you can bet your last dollar (to me, because at that point, I'd need it) that I wouldn't go bragging about it. Who does that??
Violin issue solved, lunch issue averted
So after talking with a friend of mine who's a professional violinist, I just ordered Erin's violin online, and had it shipped overnight, so it should be here tomorrow. I was really leery of buying without seeing/hearing first, but he said that when it comes to really small violins, it really does not matter how much you spend. None of them have that great of sound because there's just so little wood to them. He also correctly pointed out that at this point, Erin will be using the violin for familiarization as much as any playing, so really, it's most important at this point that she has A violin, and really, most any will do. It makes total sense when I think about it. With that in mind, I ordered today, and should receive it tomorrow. Good. Violin disaster dealt with.
On a related note, though, why is it that people who know absolutely nothing about any of this feel the need to weigh in on it? It's kind of funny how some people have to give absolutely horrible "advice" on absolutely everything. We have exactly one friend who knows anything about this subject, not only because he is a violinist himself, but because his daughter started lessons a few years ago, so he has been exactly where we are, and not terribly long ago either. Seriously, though, if you have never played, and your kid has never played, spare me.
OK, anyhow, the lunch thing. So I'm starting to hate this school's lunch system. You have to fill out the calendar for the days your kid wants lunch, weeks in advance of the start of the month it's for. So basically, by the time the days your kid wanted lunch come around, half the time, they don't want that anymore, and by then, you've already paid for it ($3.20 a day for Wonder Bread and government cheese!!), and it's too late to cancel it, so they've got to eat it. Anyone who's ever met Erin would know this would not make for a pleasant morning, and this morning was no exception.
Then I had to also call the school about it because the other day that we paid for her to eat lunch at school, they apparently didn't have her on the list, because they told her not to forget her lunchbox again. Not cool. We paid for her to eat that day. I figured that the fact that I handed our papers in to the most scatterbrained human being alive probably figured into it. She did, after all, lose our violin lessons registration, and we handed in our lunch calendar and check at the same time, so why wouldn't she have also lost that? So anyhow, I had to call the school today and make sure that Erin was on the list for lunch because I didn't send her lunchbox. ($3.20 buys me a day off from packing a lunch for the world's pickiest eater.) I had to make sure she'd be allowed to eat, and not get chided in the cafeteria, so I called to see if she was on the list. You wanna guess what the answer was? It won't be a surprise. So anyhow, they were able to put her on the list, and also correct the list for the other day that we paid for (which is in like a week), and I didn't have to run up there, lunchbox in hand, and have it delivered to her in class, although that would have pleased her greatly since she didn't want school grilled cheese as of this morning anyhow.
So yeah, it's funny. I'm really hoping that this girl moves somewhere else when her husband gets out of the Army in a couple months. In not even two full weeks of class, I've had to clean up after her mistakes twice already. Man, I know it was a crazy day at orientation and all, but how can you really justify straight-up losing people's stuff?
Oh, speaking of disappearing paper, Orren is in a particularly annoying phase. Yeah, eating paper. It's really gross.
On a related note, though, why is it that people who know absolutely nothing about any of this feel the need to weigh in on it? It's kind of funny how some people have to give absolutely horrible "advice" on absolutely everything. We have exactly one friend who knows anything about this subject, not only because he is a violinist himself, but because his daughter started lessons a few years ago, so he has been exactly where we are, and not terribly long ago either. Seriously, though, if you have never played, and your kid has never played, spare me.
OK, anyhow, the lunch thing. So I'm starting to hate this school's lunch system. You have to fill out the calendar for the days your kid wants lunch, weeks in advance of the start of the month it's for. So basically, by the time the days your kid wanted lunch come around, half the time, they don't want that anymore, and by then, you've already paid for it ($3.20 a day for Wonder Bread and government cheese!!), and it's too late to cancel it, so they've got to eat it. Anyone who's ever met Erin would know this would not make for a pleasant morning, and this morning was no exception.
Then I had to also call the school about it because the other day that we paid for her to eat lunch at school, they apparently didn't have her on the list, because they told her not to forget her lunchbox again. Not cool. We paid for her to eat that day. I figured that the fact that I handed our papers in to the most scatterbrained human being alive probably figured into it. She did, after all, lose our violin lessons registration, and we handed in our lunch calendar and check at the same time, so why wouldn't she have also lost that? So anyhow, I had to call the school today and make sure that Erin was on the list for lunch because I didn't send her lunchbox. ($3.20 buys me a day off from packing a lunch for the world's pickiest eater.) I had to make sure she'd be allowed to eat, and not get chided in the cafeteria, so I called to see if she was on the list. You wanna guess what the answer was? It won't be a surprise. So anyhow, they were able to put her on the list, and also correct the list for the other day that we paid for (which is in like a week), and I didn't have to run up there, lunchbox in hand, and have it delivered to her in class, although that would have pleased her greatly since she didn't want school grilled cheese as of this morning anyhow.
So yeah, it's funny. I'm really hoping that this girl moves somewhere else when her husband gets out of the Army in a couple months. In not even two full weeks of class, I've had to clean up after her mistakes twice already. Man, I know it was a crazy day at orientation and all, but how can you really justify straight-up losing people's stuff?
Oh, speaking of disappearing paper, Orren is in a particularly annoying phase. Yeah, eating paper. It's really gross.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
1/4 sized violins are an urban legend.
We have been to every music store this side of the mountain, and nobody has any. We've asked for purchases, rentals, ANYTHING, and nobody has any. I'm tired of dealing with these people, and I'm tired of running all over town when I have to have dinner on the table by 5 pm, and can't possibly do it when I'm running all over the city getting turned away by every snobby-ass violin salesman in town.
Saturday, Thak has to go back to Viva Dodge early in the morning, but should be done there before noon. After that, we're going to try one last time, hit every music store in the entire US side of the metro area, including the New Mexico side. If we still find nothing, then Erin will not play violin this year. I think it REALLY sucks that the school leased out all of its violins to students at the westside location, so those of us on the east were pretty well screwed, and had to get our own (and on VERY short notice) when we had been told that we would have the option of leasing through the school. It really didn't seem so bad until it became very apparent that it wasn't as simple as going and getting what we needed.
Oh, and I HATE violin salesmen. HATE THEM.
Saturday, Thak has to go back to Viva Dodge early in the morning, but should be done there before noon. After that, we're going to try one last time, hit every music store in the entire US side of the metro area, including the New Mexico side. If we still find nothing, then Erin will not play violin this year. I think it REALLY sucks that the school leased out all of its violins to students at the westside location, so those of us on the east were pretty well screwed, and had to get our own (and on VERY short notice) when we had been told that we would have the option of leasing through the school. It really didn't seem so bad until it became very apparent that it wasn't as simple as going and getting what we needed.
Oh, and I HATE violin salesmen. HATE THEM.
Rollin' Mainstream.... for now
We had a carseat situation yesterday. Somewhere between home, Erin's school, and home again, Orren got something unidentifiable yet disgusting and sticky, on his carseat. Upon discovering this, I had to uninstall the carseat, and bring it inside so I could wash the cover. (Anyone who's ever installed a Radian with a more upright angle, and a totally rock-solid install, in a compact car, behind the driver's seat, will groan right along with me on the subject of undoing all my good work.) Of course, I wasn't thinking of anything but getting our Radian clean, and of course, getting the cover off it in order to do that in the first place, which I'm pretty sure is a task that has its own little designated corner of hell. I finally got the cover off, put it in the wash (yeah, it says handwash. I'm not handwashing anything. I'll use the handwash cycle on my washing machine.) and then it hit me. I had more errands to run before the day was over, and surely before I'd have enough kid-free time to go and install the Radian again.
I figured I'd just get the Marathon out of Thak's truck, but when Thak came home, he didn't have his truck. He had his friend's car, which he was fixing the AC on. So that meant I didn't have our back-up carseat.
OK, well, there is one more. We have a Britax Diplomat in the linen closet that we haven't used ever since we got the Radian. I was 99% sure Orren had outgrown it by height, but I pulled it out anyhow, crossing my fingers that I was wrong. Nope. Sure enough, I was right. It wasn't even iffy. He would need an inch or more in shell height above the top of his head in order to rear-face, and his head was actually slightly above the top of the shell, so there was no way I could rear-face him in that seat. I checked the highest top harness height, and it did come out just slightly above his shoulder height. We could use the seat forward-facing.
I told Thak that, and his first reflex was to veto it completely. I reminded him that while I don't like it any more than he does, I had things that I absolutely had to do, and with him being in school at night, I have no help with the kids, so they're going to have to go with me. It seemed to me like we had no choice, as much as I hated the thought of it, and after thinking about it for a minute, Thak agreed. I installed the Diplomat forward-facing where the Radian had been. I will say, I love that rock solid Britax install. It's just plain idiot-proof. I also love the way their tethers are. (We tether rear-facing, too, because Britax and Sunshine Kids seats are approved for that. Other brands only tether forward-facing.) It took me about two minutes to get that seat installed perfectly. It looked wrong (not only because it was forward-facing, but because we're so used to our Radian, which is really low, and Britaxes sit way up high.) but it was installed correctly, so we went with it.
Orren didn't really know what to make of forward-facing. He liked being able to look out the front of the car, and was amused with being able to see mommy and daddy, but he was uncomfortable and didn't know where to put his legs. (Really, when is the last time you've seen a toddler be content to have their legs hanging aimlessly? They sit cross legged more often than anything else.) I found that ironic since the mainstreamer's favorite argument for forward-facing as soon as they possibly can is, "What would a toddler ever do with their legs if rear-facing??" After yesterday, I think a more accurate question would be, "What would a toddler do with their legs when they're forward-facing??" because mine surely didn't know what to do with his. All in all, it got mixed reviews from Orren.
From me and Thak, the review can be summed up in two words, "nerve wracking". Knowing what we know, that 20-month-old Orren is at a 500% increased risk of serious spinal injury or death while forward-facing compared to his risk while rear-facing, that his spine still consists of a lot of cartilage, and not a ton of bone, and that his head still makes up roughly 25% of his body mass, driving with a forward-facing toddler was less than a "feel good" experience for me and Thak. It felt very haphazard.
The Radian's cover is dry now, and I'll put the seat back together and reinstall it while Thak is home for lunch. At that point, Orren will be back to rear-facing for at least the next year and a half. We'll all feel better then.
All this made me think, though. The knowledge that we have applied in making the goal of keeping Orren rear-facing until the age of 3 or older, is readily available. The American Academy of Pediatrics even recommends 2 years minimum, and thereafter as long as the child is within the height and weight limits for rear-facing in their convertible carseat. There are charts all over the web which show spinal ossification and development by age. Even on mainstream parenting sites like Cafe Mom and True Mom Confessions, the discussions about carseats always include links to very solid data and reports, showing the benefits of extended rear-facing. I really don't think there's a parent on the face of the earth who hasn't read enough to at least get the gist of it. How, then, do people still cling to the outdated and dangerous "1 and 20" standard? They don't like being called out on it, but I have asked mainstream (thus, forward-face at 1 and 20) moms I know before, "You can keep your kid 500% safer. You know this. You acknowledge that it's true. Yet you won't do it. Why is that? What is the thought process that goes into that decision?" You know, nobody's ever given me an answer. Now, more than ever, I just want to know how, in this world of information, where we all have the means to keep our kids really safe, someone would simply decide not to do it. How, when everyone knows terms like "internal decapitation" and "head excursion" could any parent derive any pleasure from looking in the backseat and seeing their little toddler looking back at them? I never thought I'd say this, but I seriously can't wait to see the ugly, gray, cluttered up, back of that Radian when I look in the backseat again.
I figured I'd just get the Marathon out of Thak's truck, but when Thak came home, he didn't have his truck. He had his friend's car, which he was fixing the AC on. So that meant I didn't have our back-up carseat.
OK, well, there is one more. We have a Britax Diplomat in the linen closet that we haven't used ever since we got the Radian. I was 99% sure Orren had outgrown it by height, but I pulled it out anyhow, crossing my fingers that I was wrong. Nope. Sure enough, I was right. It wasn't even iffy. He would need an inch or more in shell height above the top of his head in order to rear-face, and his head was actually slightly above the top of the shell, so there was no way I could rear-face him in that seat. I checked the highest top harness height, and it did come out just slightly above his shoulder height. We could use the seat forward-facing.
I told Thak that, and his first reflex was to veto it completely. I reminded him that while I don't like it any more than he does, I had things that I absolutely had to do, and with him being in school at night, I have no help with the kids, so they're going to have to go with me. It seemed to me like we had no choice, as much as I hated the thought of it, and after thinking about it for a minute, Thak agreed. I installed the Diplomat forward-facing where the Radian had been. I will say, I love that rock solid Britax install. It's just plain idiot-proof. I also love the way their tethers are. (We tether rear-facing, too, because Britax and Sunshine Kids seats are approved for that. Other brands only tether forward-facing.) It took me about two minutes to get that seat installed perfectly. It looked wrong (not only because it was forward-facing, but because we're so used to our Radian, which is really low, and Britaxes sit way up high.) but it was installed correctly, so we went with it.
Orren didn't really know what to make of forward-facing. He liked being able to look out the front of the car, and was amused with being able to see mommy and daddy, but he was uncomfortable and didn't know where to put his legs. (Really, when is the last time you've seen a toddler be content to have their legs hanging aimlessly? They sit cross legged more often than anything else.) I found that ironic since the mainstreamer's favorite argument for forward-facing as soon as they possibly can is, "What would a toddler ever do with their legs if rear-facing??" After yesterday, I think a more accurate question would be, "What would a toddler do with their legs when they're forward-facing??" because mine surely didn't know what to do with his. All in all, it got mixed reviews from Orren.
From me and Thak, the review can be summed up in two words, "nerve wracking". Knowing what we know, that 20-month-old Orren is at a 500% increased risk of serious spinal injury or death while forward-facing compared to his risk while rear-facing, that his spine still consists of a lot of cartilage, and not a ton of bone, and that his head still makes up roughly 25% of his body mass, driving with a forward-facing toddler was less than a "feel good" experience for me and Thak. It felt very haphazard.
The Radian's cover is dry now, and I'll put the seat back together and reinstall it while Thak is home for lunch. At that point, Orren will be back to rear-facing for at least the next year and a half. We'll all feel better then.
All this made me think, though. The knowledge that we have applied in making the goal of keeping Orren rear-facing until the age of 3 or older, is readily available. The American Academy of Pediatrics even recommends 2 years minimum, and thereafter as long as the child is within the height and weight limits for rear-facing in their convertible carseat. There are charts all over the web which show spinal ossification and development by age. Even on mainstream parenting sites like Cafe Mom and True Mom Confessions, the discussions about carseats always include links to very solid data and reports, showing the benefits of extended rear-facing. I really don't think there's a parent on the face of the earth who hasn't read enough to at least get the gist of it. How, then, do people still cling to the outdated and dangerous "1 and 20" standard? They don't like being called out on it, but I have asked mainstream (thus, forward-face at 1 and 20) moms I know before, "You can keep your kid 500% safer. You know this. You acknowledge that it's true. Yet you won't do it. Why is that? What is the thought process that goes into that decision?" You know, nobody's ever given me an answer. Now, more than ever, I just want to know how, in this world of information, where we all have the means to keep our kids really safe, someone would simply decide not to do it. How, when everyone knows terms like "internal decapitation" and "head excursion" could any parent derive any pleasure from looking in the backseat and seeing their little toddler looking back at them? I never thought I'd say this, but I seriously can't wait to see the ugly, gray, cluttered up, back of that Radian when I look in the backseat again.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The gift list, so far
This will probably be the kids' last BIG Christmas for a while. Not only is Thak getting out of the Army, but his (hopefully) soon-to-be supervisor at the Dodge dealership said that business drops off BIG TIME from November to February every year (and that's not just at that dealership, it's everywhere). Obviously the kids will still get great stuff, but I do expect that it will drop off a little at least for a couple years. I mean, Orren's birthday is Christmas, so really, when you consider that, it's like when it comes to gifts, we'll always have one more kid than we actually have, because Orren more or less gets two people's worth of gifts.
Sooooo..... what are the gifts this year? We don't have them all figured out yet, but here are a few!
Erin:
Nintendo DS
Accessory kit for DS
Games for DS
Scooter for big kids
then just the standard clothes, makeup, books, art stuff, etc.
Orren:
Early Rider Balance Bike
Rainbow Soundblocks
Power Wheels Quad
Art Supplies
More Art Supplies
plus, of course, clothes, books, sports stuff, etc
Both:
Magneatos
This is far from an exhaustive list, and it's of course subject to change, but it's a start. We'll probably get Erin's DS within the month. It's all she's been asking for, and in GREAT detail, so we know that's what she wants. Plus, I've earned $55 in Amazon gift cards from Swagbucks, so it's really not all that expensive when you factor that in. The cool thing is that after this, for birthdays, Christmases, and stuff like that, she'll probably want games, and games are cheap! This actually can work in our favor in the long run.
So yeah, these kids.... I hope they like it! I'm sure they will.
Sooooo..... what are the gifts this year? We don't have them all figured out yet, but here are a few!
Erin:
Nintendo DS
Accessory kit for DS
Games for DS
Scooter for big kids
then just the standard clothes, makeup, books, art stuff, etc.
Orren:
Early Rider Balance Bike
Rainbow Soundblocks
Power Wheels Quad
Art Supplies
More Art Supplies
plus, of course, clothes, books, sports stuff, etc
Both:
Magneatos
This is far from an exhaustive list, and it's of course subject to change, but it's a start. We'll probably get Erin's DS within the month. It's all she's been asking for, and in GREAT detail, so we know that's what she wants. Plus, I've earned $55 in Amazon gift cards from Swagbucks, so it's really not all that expensive when you factor that in. The cool thing is that after this, for birthdays, Christmases, and stuff like that, she'll probably want games, and games are cheap! This actually can work in our favor in the long run.
So yeah, these kids.... I hope they like it! I'm sure they will.
Monday, September 13, 2010
The Moscow Ballet is coming!
I just heard on the radio that tickets went on sale for the Moscow Ballet's presentation of the Nutcracker here in town. There are two shows, and they're both on the 23rd of December. I just looked up the tickets, and WOW! They're expensive! Of course, not all of them are, but I don't think Erin would enjoy it too much if she couldn't see the stage very well, so we can't too well just do the cheap seats. The really good seats are almost $100 each. Maybe I'll try to get us something in the center, but back a little, for $50-70 each, and hope for the best.
On the good side, I'm 100% sure Thak and Orren will not enjoy the ballet, and Thak will be on break from school then (or at least I think he will be) so he'll be able to watch Orren while I take Erin to the ballet, thus making it so we only have to buy two tickets.
I hope they have some left after a little while, though. This next pay period is already so expensive since we have to buy Erin a violin and also pay for Thak's next round of ASE exams. Ballet tickets will have to wait, but this is El Paso, not NYC. They can't sell out THAT fast, can they? I don't think they will. I think we'll get in.... even if it is in the cheap seats. It'll still be cool no matter what.
On the good side, I'm 100% sure Thak and Orren will not enjoy the ballet, and Thak will be on break from school then (or at least I think he will be) so he'll be able to watch Orren while I take Erin to the ballet, thus making it so we only have to buy two tickets.
I hope they have some left after a little while, though. This next pay period is already so expensive since we have to buy Erin a violin and also pay for Thak's next round of ASE exams. Ballet tickets will have to wait, but this is El Paso, not NYC. They can't sell out THAT fast, can they? I don't think they will. I think we'll get in.... even if it is in the cheap seats. It'll still be cool no matter what.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
She's awesome, and we won!!!
Erin did great at ballet class. There are many girls who have more experience than she does, but really, to be honest, there are not many who have more natural talent than she has. For it being her second week, she's doing amazingly well. Her teacher has had to work with her individually a bit on her flexibility (by this age, she should be able to do a full split. Yes, in ballet, they want that. It makes sense if you think about it). Erin is about two inches from being able to do it. It'll come in time, though. Nobody's displeased with her. She just has work to do in some areas. She wants to, though. She loves ballet. I'm glad she does. It's good for her.
Well, anyhow, after I got home from Erin's ballet class, I found out I won a contest I entered for a diaper cover!! I won this beautiful cover directly from Gen-Y Diapers!! (Yes, I'm aware that I linked a French language site. It was the first one I found that had a good picture of it. All the English and Spanish sites seem to only have tiny pics of it where you can't see the awesome print.) I REALLY wanted the calaveras one that they used to make a few years ago, but it's discontinued, so I have to try to find one used. I REALLY want a nice calaveras cover for Orren to wear on Dia de los Muertos this year, but if we don't find one, Skullduggery is pretty close. Plus, how beautiful is that shade of red?? I love Gen-Y covers. They have the best colors. They're the makers of our Sushi Toss cover, so now I will have two! This means I will have 6 covers in Orren's current size, which is how many most people recommend to have, at a minimum. I've always made it work with 3-4 covers in any given size, so it's really nice to have 6, especially since 3 I bought from a local work-at-home-mom (Those would be our Dragons, Cars, and sea green), two I got at deep discounts (our Blueberry, and our Sushi Toss), and the final one, I WON!!!! I can't believe it!!!
Well, anyhow, after I got home from Erin's ballet class, I found out I won a contest I entered for a diaper cover!! I won this beautiful cover directly from Gen-Y Diapers!! (Yes, I'm aware that I linked a French language site. It was the first one I found that had a good picture of it. All the English and Spanish sites seem to only have tiny pics of it where you can't see the awesome print.) I REALLY wanted the calaveras one that they used to make a few years ago, but it's discontinued, so I have to try to find one used. I REALLY want a nice calaveras cover for Orren to wear on Dia de los Muertos this year, but if we don't find one, Skullduggery is pretty close. Plus, how beautiful is that shade of red?? I love Gen-Y covers. They have the best colors. They're the makers of our Sushi Toss cover, so now I will have two! This means I will have 6 covers in Orren's current size, which is how many most people recommend to have, at a minimum. I've always made it work with 3-4 covers in any given size, so it's really nice to have 6, especially since 3 I bought from a local work-at-home-mom (Those would be our Dragons, Cars, and sea green), two I got at deep discounts (our Blueberry, and our Sushi Toss), and the final one, I WON!!!! I can't believe it!!!
Friday, September 10, 2010
A week in.
We have finished our first week of the school year! Despite a few little bumps, it's all turned out resoundingly well so far.
Our violin lesson forms were lost, so Erin was not measured when the teacher came to the school on Wednesday. I'm pretty sure our lunch calendar and check were lost, too, because the one day Erin wanted to eat the cafeteria lunch (it was a ham and cheese, her favorite) the people in the lunchroom told her to remember her lunchbox next time (which they shouldn't have, because she should have been on the list to eat. We turned in her calendar and the money for the three days she wanted lunch.) Well, I guess that's what we get for turning the stuff into someone who's very well known to be one of the most scatterbrained people alive.
I didn't love that they lost all our stuff, but I dealt with the violin thing at least. I called the school and asked why Erin hadn't been called when the violin teacher pulled all her students out of class. I said that we had filled out the forms and turned them in, so there was no reason why she wouldn't be on the list. I was super impressed with the way they responded to it. They said that she wasn't on the list, so I asked if her forms had been lost. They said that there was a good possibility of that, and that they'd send new forms with her for us to fill out, and that she would be on the list after that for sure. Great!
Here's why that was significant. It was the first time in my life that a school has dropped the ball, and hasn't blamed me for it. At every other school Erin has ever gone to, I've been misinformed of things, not told about what's going on, had paperwork lost, and then had to listen to the people blame me for their screw-up, and basically sit there and tell me that I did it, when THEY did. Here's a real conversation I had with one of Erin's former teachers:
Her: Since Erin won't be going on the field trip today, so you need to take her to room X.
Me: There's a field trip today? I was not informed of that.
Her: It's ok that you forgot. You're not the only parent who did.
Me: I didn't forget. I was never told.
Her: Like I said, you're not the only one who forgot.
Me: I was never told. I would never have my kid miss a field trip that I knew about in time to pay for and fill out the permission slip on.
Her: Well, next time, don't forget.
Do you have any idea how frustrating that is for someone to sit there and blame you for THEIR screw-up that cost YOUR kid something? Anyone who knows me knows that I have a very good memory. I don't forget anything, especially important things. ESPECIALLY things that pertain to Erin's schooling. It is like my biggest fear that I drop the ball when it comes to that. I'm ALWAYS on time to pick her up (except when Taylors Creek didn't tell me, and yes, tried to blame it on me, that after school tutoring had been canceled). I'm ALWAYS the first to turn in her permission slips and payment for field trips. I'm the most consistent parent of any in any class she's ever been in about having her do all her homework every single day. I seriously can't stand the thought that my kid would be the one who didn't get to do something because her mom dropped the ball, so I am extremely hard on myself when it comes to ANYTHING pertaining to Erin's education, and I have NEVER (knock on wood) dropped the ball. I have, however, been blamed for the school's screw-ups, and have always gotten the feeling that the staff of any of the schools that Erin has attended so far, think I'm just another idiot parent. It was very refreshing to NOT be blamed for the school's screw-up, and NOT to be assumed stupid right off the bat. Parents are treated a lot better at this school than any other I've ever dealt with. Maybe it's because they know if they piss us off and we stop giving money, they'll be screwed. I don't care why it is, though. I like it. It's working. My money and my daughter go to VDF, and will for the foreseeable future if I have anything to say about it.
I love that her class is only 16 kids. In public school, there would be twice that many. She gets tons of individualized attention, and is always telling me about all the fun activities her teacher does with the class, all the books he reads to them, and all the friends she's making. She's really happy there, and so NOT lost in the shuffle. Every day when I go pick her up, her teacher brings her to the car himself, and tells me about her day. So far, she's really doing well. We still have to have a conference about her learning disabilities and all that, but we'll do it next week. This week was really hectic for us. I'll probably call Monday to set up the conference, and we'll get the ball rolling on that. I think it's going to go fine. She's in an ideal situation to get the help she needs, and actually learn. With so few kids, every kid gets what they need.
After this, I'm almost sure I will never send my kids to public school again, at least not before high school (they might like to be in a big high school, with lots of other kids, and good athletic programs, and stuff like that). I hear everyone else complaining about all kinds of problems at their kids' schools, and we simply do not have that at VDF. I don't sit in line forever at pick-up time because there are only 32 families picking up at that time. I arrive 2 minutes before they dismiss (not before because then Kindergarten is still picking up), and 5 minutes later, I've got Erin in the car, smiling and happy. I don't have to deal crappy stupid teachers because this school has very high standards for who they're even willing to hire. I don't have to deal with people who treat me like crap, because they know at this school that if families aren't happy there, they'll take their kids and their money elsewhere, and that would defeat the purpose. My kid doesn't get bullied, because this school does not accept anyone without a completely clean disciplinary record, so the bullies never get in. I will N-E-V-E-R send my kids to public school again, at least while they're young. This is just worlds better. Yet when I tell people about it, and even suggest that they send their kids there if they're unhappy with their school (because we still have space for more kids at VDF!) they act like I've lost my mind. Kinda funny, really. I'm glad Thak and I have the nerve to change what we don't like. Sending Erin to this school is seeming like one of the best parenting decisions we've ever made, possibly THE best one pertaining to her. I'm just really glad we got in. It's going to be a great year.
Our violin lesson forms were lost, so Erin was not measured when the teacher came to the school on Wednesday. I'm pretty sure our lunch calendar and check were lost, too, because the one day Erin wanted to eat the cafeteria lunch (it was a ham and cheese, her favorite) the people in the lunchroom told her to remember her lunchbox next time (which they shouldn't have, because she should have been on the list to eat. We turned in her calendar and the money for the three days she wanted lunch.) Well, I guess that's what we get for turning the stuff into someone who's very well known to be one of the most scatterbrained people alive.
I didn't love that they lost all our stuff, but I dealt with the violin thing at least. I called the school and asked why Erin hadn't been called when the violin teacher pulled all her students out of class. I said that we had filled out the forms and turned them in, so there was no reason why she wouldn't be on the list. I was super impressed with the way they responded to it. They said that she wasn't on the list, so I asked if her forms had been lost. They said that there was a good possibility of that, and that they'd send new forms with her for us to fill out, and that she would be on the list after that for sure. Great!
Here's why that was significant. It was the first time in my life that a school has dropped the ball, and hasn't blamed me for it. At every other school Erin has ever gone to, I've been misinformed of things, not told about what's going on, had paperwork lost, and then had to listen to the people blame me for their screw-up, and basically sit there and tell me that I did it, when THEY did. Here's a real conversation I had with one of Erin's former teachers:
Her: Since Erin won't be going on the field trip today, so you need to take her to room X.
Me: There's a field trip today? I was not informed of that.
Her: It's ok that you forgot. You're not the only parent who did.
Me: I didn't forget. I was never told.
Her: Like I said, you're not the only one who forgot.
Me: I was never told. I would never have my kid miss a field trip that I knew about in time to pay for and fill out the permission slip on.
Her: Well, next time, don't forget.
Do you have any idea how frustrating that is for someone to sit there and blame you for THEIR screw-up that cost YOUR kid something? Anyone who knows me knows that I have a very good memory. I don't forget anything, especially important things. ESPECIALLY things that pertain to Erin's schooling. It is like my biggest fear that I drop the ball when it comes to that. I'm ALWAYS on time to pick her up (except when Taylors Creek didn't tell me, and yes, tried to blame it on me, that after school tutoring had been canceled). I'm ALWAYS the first to turn in her permission slips and payment for field trips. I'm the most consistent parent of any in any class she's ever been in about having her do all her homework every single day. I seriously can't stand the thought that my kid would be the one who didn't get to do something because her mom dropped the ball, so I am extremely hard on myself when it comes to ANYTHING pertaining to Erin's education, and I have NEVER (knock on wood) dropped the ball. I have, however, been blamed for the school's screw-ups, and have always gotten the feeling that the staff of any of the schools that Erin has attended so far, think I'm just another idiot parent. It was very refreshing to NOT be blamed for the school's screw-up, and NOT to be assumed stupid right off the bat. Parents are treated a lot better at this school than any other I've ever dealt with. Maybe it's because they know if they piss us off and we stop giving money, they'll be screwed. I don't care why it is, though. I like it. It's working. My money and my daughter go to VDF, and will for the foreseeable future if I have anything to say about it.
I love that her class is only 16 kids. In public school, there would be twice that many. She gets tons of individualized attention, and is always telling me about all the fun activities her teacher does with the class, all the books he reads to them, and all the friends she's making. She's really happy there, and so NOT lost in the shuffle. Every day when I go pick her up, her teacher brings her to the car himself, and tells me about her day. So far, she's really doing well. We still have to have a conference about her learning disabilities and all that, but we'll do it next week. This week was really hectic for us. I'll probably call Monday to set up the conference, and we'll get the ball rolling on that. I think it's going to go fine. She's in an ideal situation to get the help she needs, and actually learn. With so few kids, every kid gets what they need.
After this, I'm almost sure I will never send my kids to public school again, at least not before high school (they might like to be in a big high school, with lots of other kids, and good athletic programs, and stuff like that). I hear everyone else complaining about all kinds of problems at their kids' schools, and we simply do not have that at VDF. I don't sit in line forever at pick-up time because there are only 32 families picking up at that time. I arrive 2 minutes before they dismiss (not before because then Kindergarten is still picking up), and 5 minutes later, I've got Erin in the car, smiling and happy. I don't have to deal crappy stupid teachers because this school has very high standards for who they're even willing to hire. I don't have to deal with people who treat me like crap, because they know at this school that if families aren't happy there, they'll take their kids and their money elsewhere, and that would defeat the purpose. My kid doesn't get bullied, because this school does not accept anyone without a completely clean disciplinary record, so the bullies never get in. I will N-E-V-E-R send my kids to public school again, at least while they're young. This is just worlds better. Yet when I tell people about it, and even suggest that they send their kids there if they're unhappy with their school (because we still have space for more kids at VDF!) they act like I've lost my mind. Kinda funny, really. I'm glad Thak and I have the nerve to change what we don't like. Sending Erin to this school is seeming like one of the best parenting decisions we've ever made, possibly THE best one pertaining to her. I'm just really glad we got in. It's going to be a great year.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Erin's first day!
Erin is off to school. It's her first day, and she is totally excited about it. When I woke up at 6:30, she was already up, and ready to go, all dressed in her plaid jumper, white blouse, and...... zebra print, neon colored knee socks, plus sparkly shoes. It was pretty outstanding. I got her to switch her footwear choices to white knee socks and brown shoes, and she looked adorable, especially after getting her hair put into pigtails. She was so excited to go to school.
The class is really small. From what we could tell, there are only maybe 16 kids in it. When we arrived, about half of them were already there, and she was the only girl!! Kind of funny, really. I'm sure there are other girls in the class, but she was the only one there when we dropped her off. She said quick goodbyes to me, Thak, and Orren, and was ready to get started. It was great. She was so happy to be there.
The cool thing is that at that hour of the day, it doesn't take but about 15 minutes to get there. The traffic isn't half bad, and there are only two school zones, neither of which is long, nor congested. The high schools are not an issue because they don't start until 9:00, and since the only two schools we physically pass are high schools, that eliminates the school zone issue for them entirely. The school zones we hit are for who knows what... They're out on Montwood without a school in sight, so anyone's guess there. Maybe EPPD thinks it would be fun to make everyone slow down to 20 at random places. Of course, if so, the joke is on them since everyone in this city already drives that slow!
So yeah, we pick Erin up at 2:15. I can't wait to hear how her first day went!
If this isn't the most quintessential West Texas photo ever, I don't know what is. The sky, the adobe-style school, the private school style uniform (because the public schools out here are crap! Ha!).... It's all very West Texas.
And what's in the lunchbox? Erin's idea mostly.... I think it looks yummy! It's raspberry yogurt, a PBJ, cherries, banana chips, baby carrots, and ranch. She also has a juice box, of course. We are loving her Planet Box!
The class is really small. From what we could tell, there are only maybe 16 kids in it. When we arrived, about half of them were already there, and she was the only girl!! Kind of funny, really. I'm sure there are other girls in the class, but she was the only one there when we dropped her off. She said quick goodbyes to me, Thak, and Orren, and was ready to get started. It was great. She was so happy to be there.
The cool thing is that at that hour of the day, it doesn't take but about 15 minutes to get there. The traffic isn't half bad, and there are only two school zones, neither of which is long, nor congested. The high schools are not an issue because they don't start until 9:00, and since the only two schools we physically pass are high schools, that eliminates the school zone issue for them entirely. The school zones we hit are for who knows what... They're out on Montwood without a school in sight, so anyone's guess there. Maybe EPPD thinks it would be fun to make everyone slow down to 20 at random places. Of course, if so, the joke is on them since everyone in this city already drives that slow!
So yeah, we pick Erin up at 2:15. I can't wait to hear how her first day went!
If this isn't the most quintessential West Texas photo ever, I don't know what is. The sky, the adobe-style school, the private school style uniform (because the public schools out here are crap! Ha!).... It's all very West Texas.
And what's in the lunchbox? Erin's idea mostly.... I think it looks yummy! It's raspberry yogurt, a PBJ, cherries, banana chips, baby carrots, and ranch. She also has a juice box, of course. We are loving her Planet Box!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
THE single cutest thing on the face of the earth.
Erin's first ballet class was yesterday. She LOVED it. For being new to this, she wasn't bad at it either! There is a lot she still has to learn, but she's really trying, and seemed to be starting to get it by the end of class. She can't wait to go back next week!
Getting ready to go:
In class:
After class (I'd have gotten more and better photos, but the lighting in the studio itself is not very good for that):
Getting ready to go:
In class:
After class (I'd have gotten more and better photos, but the lighting in the studio itself is not very good for that):
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Walk three feet, write a check. Walk three more feet, write another check.
We just got back from Erin's school orientation. It was nothing like the stories I've heard of orientation days at public schools around here, so that's definitely a plus. There were not that many people, so the crowds weren't too bad, which was good since the area everything was going on in was about the size of my living room, so there really couldn't be many people.
We didn't find out much information, although I did manage to figure out who Erin's teacher is, and get a look at him. We didn't get to talk to him or anything, though. Everyone was really busy trying to move furniture and stuff into the school, so nobody had any time to really do anything but process the families through as quickly as possible. Basically, the two bits of information I got today were that we pick up Erin at 2:15 each afternoon (they dismiss each class at a different time, so there won't be terribly long lines at pick-up... not that there would anyhow in a school of roughly 150 kids), and that she's in Mr. M's class. That's more than we knew two hours ago, so I can't complain!
I had to laugh about how the whole thing went, though. We went to this 5 second long meeting with the principal, where she told us that half the kids would be in Mr. M's class, and the other half would be in Mrs. F's class, and what time each class picks up. Then we all had to file through this big line where there was a table every couple feet. At each one, we had to pay for something else! It was like, reach the first table, write a check. Wait for the line to move, then stop at the next table, and write another check. Continue all the way to the door. It was pretty funny. The sign out front says "FREE TUITION!!" but man, tuition is about all that's free at this school! It's ok, though. There is absolutely nothing we wouldn't come up with the money for if it meant our kids got what they needed. Plus, it's still cheaper than the $12k a year private school that rejected us! It was just funny, though. Basically, our orientation was a receiving line through stations where we had to make a rapid succession of "donations". (That part still cracks me up. They're called donations, but it would probably get ugly if we decided not to pay them!)
So yeah, with our bank account sufficiently gasping for breath, we're ready for the school year to start on Tuesday! We also found out that they're not doing violin rental through the school this year, so we've got to go around to the various music stores around town, and get a violin for Erin so that she's ready to start lessons probably next week (although we didn't get a definitive answer on that yet).
And here I was hoping for an extra few hundred in my Scottrade account this month! Delusional am I!!
We didn't find out much information, although I did manage to figure out who Erin's teacher is, and get a look at him. We didn't get to talk to him or anything, though. Everyone was really busy trying to move furniture and stuff into the school, so nobody had any time to really do anything but process the families through as quickly as possible. Basically, the two bits of information I got today were that we pick up Erin at 2:15 each afternoon (they dismiss each class at a different time, so there won't be terribly long lines at pick-up... not that there would anyhow in a school of roughly 150 kids), and that she's in Mr. M's class. That's more than we knew two hours ago, so I can't complain!
I had to laugh about how the whole thing went, though. We went to this 5 second long meeting with the principal, where she told us that half the kids would be in Mr. M's class, and the other half would be in Mrs. F's class, and what time each class picks up. Then we all had to file through this big line where there was a table every couple feet. At each one, we had to pay for something else! It was like, reach the first table, write a check. Wait for the line to move, then stop at the next table, and write another check. Continue all the way to the door. It was pretty funny. The sign out front says "FREE TUITION!!" but man, tuition is about all that's free at this school! It's ok, though. There is absolutely nothing we wouldn't come up with the money for if it meant our kids got what they needed. Plus, it's still cheaper than the $12k a year private school that rejected us! It was just funny, though. Basically, our orientation was a receiving line through stations where we had to make a rapid succession of "donations". (That part still cracks me up. They're called donations, but it would probably get ugly if we decided not to pay them!)
So yeah, with our bank account sufficiently gasping for breath, we're ready for the school year to start on Tuesday! We also found out that they're not doing violin rental through the school this year, so we've got to go around to the various music stores around town, and get a violin for Erin so that she's ready to start lessons probably next week (although we didn't get a definitive answer on that yet).
And here I was hoping for an extra few hundred in my Scottrade account this month! Delusional am I!!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Yay for ballet!
Erin is now registered for ballet classes! She starts on Friday! We're totally excited, and tomorrow, we'll probably go shopping for all kinds of fun accessories. She already has one leotard, tights, and skirt, but she should probably have a few, and she needs different shoes, so we'll have to get a few things, but not too much. It'll be fun.
Tomorrow afternoon, we've also got her orientation for school, and there, we'll find out about her violin lessons. Oh yeah, didn't I tell you? Erin decided to take violin since her school offers it. Right now, we're debating whether to rent or buy her violin. I'm leaning toward rent for one semester, and if she wants to continue after that, then buy. Thak wants to buy right away. I guess we'll see.
Having kids who are in lots of activities can be expensive! It's ok, though. We were never under the impression that parenting was cheap.
There is one thing I've been surprised by. I recently polled my friends, and found that out of all our kids who are school age, Erin is the only one who's in any extracurricular activities. I was mostly just trying to find out how many was too many, because she had wanted to do violin, ballet, and cheerleading. I was iffy on three activities for a kid her age, so I asked my friends, just to see if anyone had been in that situation before, and what their experience was with it. That's when I found out that we're the only ones who have our kid in anything. Then we found out that there is no fall cheerleading this year, so the decision was made for us, which I think is fine. Two activities is no too many for her, especially since one is offered through the school, and doesn't require any additional pick-up and drop-off time from us. She just stays after school for violin lessons on the days they're offered, so really, ballet is the only activity she has right now that requires an extra commute to and from.
I'm glad she's old enough to do this stuff now, though. It's cool. I like that she's able to explore her interests, and see what she gets into. I'm REALLY looking forward to her first ballet recital! It's not until May, but we're still looking forward to it. You should see the costumes from past recitals of this dance school. They're gorgeous! They always have the recital at the University, and the auditorium it's held in is beautiful. I can't wait until it's Erin's turn!!!!
Tomorrow afternoon, we've also got her orientation for school, and there, we'll find out about her violin lessons. Oh yeah, didn't I tell you? Erin decided to take violin since her school offers it. Right now, we're debating whether to rent or buy her violin. I'm leaning toward rent for one semester, and if she wants to continue after that, then buy. Thak wants to buy right away. I guess we'll see.
Having kids who are in lots of activities can be expensive! It's ok, though. We were never under the impression that parenting was cheap.
There is one thing I've been surprised by. I recently polled my friends, and found that out of all our kids who are school age, Erin is the only one who's in any extracurricular activities. I was mostly just trying to find out how many was too many, because she had wanted to do violin, ballet, and cheerleading. I was iffy on three activities for a kid her age, so I asked my friends, just to see if anyone had been in that situation before, and what their experience was with it. That's when I found out that we're the only ones who have our kid in anything. Then we found out that there is no fall cheerleading this year, so the decision was made for us, which I think is fine. Two activities is no too many for her, especially since one is offered through the school, and doesn't require any additional pick-up and drop-off time from us. She just stays after school for violin lessons on the days they're offered, so really, ballet is the only activity she has right now that requires an extra commute to and from.
I'm glad she's old enough to do this stuff now, though. It's cool. I like that she's able to explore her interests, and see what she gets into. I'm REALLY looking forward to her first ballet recital! It's not until May, but we're still looking forward to it. You should see the costumes from past recitals of this dance school. They're gorgeous! They always have the recital at the University, and the auditorium it's held in is beautiful. I can't wait until it's Erin's turn!!!!
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