We've been asked what the kids would like for Christmas. Here are a few suggestions for each of them, along with what we're getting them so that there are no duplications:
Erin:
She REALLY wants zhu zhu pets, and accessories for them. We don't have any at all right now, and I'm not sure if we'll be getting her but one simple zhu zhu pet for Christmas since her other gifts this year are SO expensive and we have to draw the line somewhere, so absolutely the best thing to get Erin is anything zhu zhu pet related.
Also, games for Nintendo DS would be much appreciated. She is getting a DSi for Christmas, and we'll be getting her a few games, but what kid could ever have too many?
Books.
The usual girl stuff, clothes, makeup, and of course anything dance or art related. Clothing size 7, shoe size 12.
We are getting her:
Nintendo DSi and accessory bundle in hot pink
Hello Kitty Razor Scooter
A few games for DS (whatever we can find used at Game Stop. She's not going to care if it's new, only that it works.)
Makeup, clothes, art supplies.
One zhu zhu pet.
Books.
Orren:
Any of the Duplo sets would be awesome. He loves those things. We already have the farm one, and a standard sized bucket of blocks. Anything to augment that would be very much loved.
Clothes in size 4T, shoes in size 6.
Books!!! This boy loves to read more than any kid I know.
3-wheel scooter.
What we are getting him:
Pillow pet
Early Rider Balance Bike (that's actually for his birthday)
Helmet and pads set (this is also birthday)
Tonka trucks (several)
Ball
Books
Clothes
Art supplies
BIG paper
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
It is SO cold!
If I could find my camera cord, I would post the most adorable picture ever taken of Orren. He is wearing his "jammies with feets" and his snow boots. He has been wearing his snow boots every day since it started getting cold, just waiting for his snow. Funny thing is that while there is no snow, he was dressed rather appropriately for the weather in that outfit because it is freaking cold. It was 20 last night. I kind of wish it would snow. Then at least the cold weather would yield something fun (snow), Erin would get the day off from school, and they'd probably close down the post, too, so Thak wouldn't have to work. That's what happens when it snows in El Paso. The entire city shuts down. Lucky for me, I have a husband who's from Minnesota and can drive in snow, so it's just a free day off for us... with snowball fights (ok, so desert snowballs are a large part dirt. We take what we can get.) But alas, no snow yet... Maybe in a week or so. We got our first snow the second week of December last year, so I guess we'll see.
Anyhow, it is freaking cold. Me and Orren had been taking a nice 2 mile walk through the neighborhood every morning after dropping sissy off at school, but yesterday, it was too windy to go. Today, it was cold enough that I pulled my snow jacket out of the closet only to find that it had some nasty mystery substance on it, so I had to wash it. Hopefully by the time it's dry, we'll at least have hit 35 outside (hopefully no wind... the wind makes it so much worse!) and we can go walking again. It's important for the baby, and Orren loves it. It's so cute. He comes walking up to me, points to the stroller, and says, "Go for wide?" over and over again until I take him for a ride. It's his favorite part of the day. It just got so cold so fast this year...
So yeah. Go for wide... maybe in a little bit?? It gets so hot here during the rest of the year that the cold is absolutely shocking when it finally does come, and it comes so fast. The desert is a harsh place to live.
Anyhow, it is freaking cold. Me and Orren had been taking a nice 2 mile walk through the neighborhood every morning after dropping sissy off at school, but yesterday, it was too windy to go. Today, it was cold enough that I pulled my snow jacket out of the closet only to find that it had some nasty mystery substance on it, so I had to wash it. Hopefully by the time it's dry, we'll at least have hit 35 outside (hopefully no wind... the wind makes it so much worse!) and we can go walking again. It's important for the baby, and Orren loves it. It's so cute. He comes walking up to me, points to the stroller, and says, "Go for wide?" over and over again until I take him for a ride. It's his favorite part of the day. It just got so cold so fast this year...
So yeah. Go for wide... maybe in a little bit?? It gets so hot here during the rest of the year that the cold is absolutely shocking when it finally does come, and it comes so fast. The desert is a harsh place to live.
Monday, November 29, 2010
3-in-1 carseats
A lot of people think 3-in-1 carseats are a good idea. In reality, they're awful. Here are a few reasons why it is better to avoid them:
-None of the brands that make them have good reputations for safety.
-They're always getting recalled.
-The materials used are poor, and they'll never last as long as you're thinking you'll use the seat anyhow.
-They try to do too many things, and don't do any of them well.
-The rear-facing weight limits are among the lowest on the market, and the harness slot heights are really short, so you probably won't make 2 years rear-facing, which is the AAP's minimum recommendation.
-The shells are really short in most of them.
-Because of the short shells, the belt positioner thingies are positioned about perfect for a kid Orren's size. Would you put Orren in a booster? God, I hope not.
-For that same reason, they would never actually fit a kid Erin's size (4' tall and 47 pounds), which is, in fact, the small-average side of the range of booster-sized children.
-Even if they fit, they position the belt very poorly.
-There isn't an adjustable head rest for kids who are taller.
-What they say is a sham. It isn't the only carseat you will ever need. Even if you use one from birth (Please don't. They're a horrible fit for newborns.) it will be long expired before the kid outgrows booster age. You're going to end up buying a booster anyhow.
Plus, boosters are cheap! You can get a Turbobooster, which is perfectly functional and fits nearly every kid and nearly every vehicle well, for like $60, and they can use that from when they go to a booster at 5-7 years old, until they can pass the 5-step test at 9 or 10, and just use a seatbelt. Like I said, boosters are cheap.
Parents of young babies, I know carseats can be confusing. Geez, you have no idea how much research I did on this. I swear I know every carseat tech in the entire state of Texas, and the web address to every crash test video available. I know how time consuming it is to do your homework, because I, too, did mine. Anyone who does their homework on carseat safety is doing a great thing. If you take only one piece of advice (aside from THE NEW BRITAX SEATS ARE FREAKING SHORT!! AVOID!!) please make sure it is, "3-in-1's do nothing well."
I know budget can be a concern for a lot of people, and 3-in-1 carseats play on that. I have a better suggestion, though. For those on a budget, skip the infant carrier style of seat. Go straight to a convertible that can actually fit newborns. The Graco MyRide is a budget-friendly seat that is extremely functional. It will actually fit a newborn, so you can use it from birth. Its shell height is about as tall as that of an old style Britax Marathon (like Orren's camouflage one, which is a 2009), and it has a 40 pound rear-facing weight limit, so most kids will not have to forward-face before they're 3 or 4 years old. After that, it forward-faces to 65 pounds, and like I said, it has a reasonably tall shell, so it will get most kids to booster age. So basically, if you want a seat you can practically use for the longest, get a convertible that actually accommodates newborns (Graco MyRide is the budget-friendly option for that. Sunshine Kids Radian is the more expensive option. Most other convertibles do not fit from birth.) and has a tall enough shell that you'll be able to use it for 5 or 6 years. After that, buy a booster. THAT is how you get your money's worth, not by buying a 3-in-1.
-None of the brands that make them have good reputations for safety.
-They're always getting recalled.
-The materials used are poor, and they'll never last as long as you're thinking you'll use the seat anyhow.
-They try to do too many things, and don't do any of them well.
-The rear-facing weight limits are among the lowest on the market, and the harness slot heights are really short, so you probably won't make 2 years rear-facing, which is the AAP's minimum recommendation.
-The shells are really short in most of them.
-Because of the short shells, the belt positioner thingies are positioned about perfect for a kid Orren's size. Would you put Orren in a booster? God, I hope not.
-For that same reason, they would never actually fit a kid Erin's size (4' tall and 47 pounds), which is, in fact, the small-average side of the range of booster-sized children.
-Even if they fit, they position the belt very poorly.
-There isn't an adjustable head rest for kids who are taller.
-What they say is a sham. It isn't the only carseat you will ever need. Even if you use one from birth (Please don't. They're a horrible fit for newborns.) it will be long expired before the kid outgrows booster age. You're going to end up buying a booster anyhow.
Plus, boosters are cheap! You can get a Turbobooster, which is perfectly functional and fits nearly every kid and nearly every vehicle well, for like $60, and they can use that from when they go to a booster at 5-7 years old, until they can pass the 5-step test at 9 or 10, and just use a seatbelt. Like I said, boosters are cheap.
Parents of young babies, I know carseats can be confusing. Geez, you have no idea how much research I did on this. I swear I know every carseat tech in the entire state of Texas, and the web address to every crash test video available. I know how time consuming it is to do your homework, because I, too, did mine. Anyone who does their homework on carseat safety is doing a great thing. If you take only one piece of advice (aside from THE NEW BRITAX SEATS ARE FREAKING SHORT!! AVOID!!) please make sure it is, "3-in-1's do nothing well."
I know budget can be a concern for a lot of people, and 3-in-1 carseats play on that. I have a better suggestion, though. For those on a budget, skip the infant carrier style of seat. Go straight to a convertible that can actually fit newborns. The Graco MyRide is a budget-friendly seat that is extremely functional. It will actually fit a newborn, so you can use it from birth. Its shell height is about as tall as that of an old style Britax Marathon (like Orren's camouflage one, which is a 2009), and it has a 40 pound rear-facing weight limit, so most kids will not have to forward-face before they're 3 or 4 years old. After that, it forward-faces to 65 pounds, and like I said, it has a reasonably tall shell, so it will get most kids to booster age. So basically, if you want a seat you can practically use for the longest, get a convertible that actually accommodates newborns (Graco MyRide is the budget-friendly option for that. Sunshine Kids Radian is the more expensive option. Most other convertibles do not fit from birth.) and has a tall enough shell that you'll be able to use it for 5 or 6 years. After that, buy a booster. THAT is how you get your money's worth, not by buying a 3-in-1.
On cloth diapering help:
Occasionally, I'm asked to help someone make the switch from disposable to cloth diapers. I love this. Cloth diapering is the right thing to do in every single way. In this age of landfill shortages, we can't afford more trash than absolutely necessary. In this age of scary chemicals, we must be more vigilant than ever of what we expose our children to. In these economic times, it's important to do anything we can to save money. Cloth diapering is the right answer for most families, so I'm thrilled whenever anyone wants to try it.
However, I find that some people seem to think I can work miracles, and make their transition seamless, so I think it's important to clarify what I can and cannot do.
I CAN:
-Tell you about every type of cloth diapers out there.
-Suggest brands I have found to be good quality.
-Loan you diapers from my personal stash to get you started.
-Help solve your laundry problems.
-Be an emergency source of cloth diaper safe detergent when the mailman runs late and you're out of dipes.
-Teach you how to fold a prefold.
-Give you about a thousand viable ways to cure diaper rash without killing your cloth diapers.
-Help get your husband on board with it. (OK, really, you want Thak for that. He's GOOD at convincing other dads that cloth is great.)
I CANNOT:
-Tell you what you are going to like. Everyone's preference is different.
-Make cheap cotton prefolds act like Huggies. They are different, and you and your baby will have to get used to it. I can't do anything about that.
-Make the learning curve instantaneous. Like anything else, you're going to have to experiment, learn, and fall on your face a few times just like the rest of us. I can help you learn faster, but I cannot eliminate the process entirely.
-Fit a chunky baby. I wish I could, but have you seen my beanpole son? All my experience is with tall skinny babies.
-Magically make a one-size diaper or cover fit a tiny newborn. Yes, they fit Orren from birth. Orren was over 9 pounds. The diapers are rated for 8-35 pounds. They won't fit a 4 pounder, and I really can't do anything about that.
I'm always really happy to help anyone who's wanting to cloth diaper. Don't get me wrong. I just get the feeling that people want me to make it this seamless transition for them, and to be able to make it something that it isn't, and magically solve problems that everyone has to face for themselves. It's not like that. It wasn't like that for me, and it will not be like that for anyone.
Some may not know this, but this is how I got into cloth diapering. There was a blog I read during Thak's 3rd deployment (I still read it, actually, just less frequently now) that's written by a wife whose husband was in the same brigade as Thak at that time (and same battalion as our friend Diaz). Well, she was cloth diapering her 7th baby at that point in time, and wrote a nice little tutorial, complete with photos, on how to use prefolds! Cool! She also gave a link to the Green Mountain Diapers website. That was the big one for me. I had tried to switch to cloth with Erin, but all I had was what I could get at Hinesville Wal Mart, which amounted to flats and the worst fitting plastic pants on the planet. They didn't even have any diaper pins, so I used the pins from ammo cans instead. It wasn't good. So basically, just to know where to get diaper service quality prefolds that actually work, was a big step in the right direction. Knowing how to fold one was even better!
After that, I knew it was feasible, and figured we'd go for it since frankly, I've always found disposables pretty disgusting on an ethical level. I knew Thak wouldn't be so easily swayed, so I researched a lot. I googled "high quality cloth diapers", and the first site that came up was Cottonbabies.com. There, I learned about Bum Genius. That looked like a good selling point for Thak. I also learned about other pocket diapers, but they were so expensive compared to the BG's. I thought the BG's were the way to go, so the next time Thak called me from south of Baghdad, I asked him what he thought of cloth diapering. He thought it was nuts. I asked him to look at the BG's, and emailed him a link. When he got back to his room after we got off the phone, he checked his email, liked what he saw, and messaged me that as long as he only ever had to change THOSE types of cloth diapers, he was 100% on board. Awesome.
I still had a little more research to do, so I searched for some online message boards about cloth diapering, and found a few. I wanted to know if BG's were the way to go, or if the more expensive brands were actually worth the money. There, I ran into this one Captain's wife I knew from a former unit, who happened to be cloth diapering her third baby (first in cloth) at that point, said that she loves BG's for her daughter, who's on the thin side, and that since me and Thak are the same height and weight as she and her husband, our baby will probably be similarly built to theirs (plus, she'd known Erin as a toddler, and knew that Erin wasn't very fat as a baby either) so by that, we'd probably have great success with BG's, so there was no need to buy the $32/ea diapers because the $17/ea ones would do us fine. With that, I took the plunge and ordered a dozen. That purchase, I have never once regretted. Future purchases included 5 dozen prefolds (various sizes), a few fitteds, and necessary covers. We've never bought a diaper that didn't work out for us, which leads me to believe that either Orren is very easy to fit, or that it's possible to make it work, no matter what, maybe both.
The bottom line is that I never expected anyone to make this a seamless transition for me. I liked being able to ask people who were familiar with the brands, what they thought of each brand I was considering, and if certain ones were worth the money or not, and stuff like that. I also liked seeing a photo tutorial of the holy grail of cloth diapering, the prefold. These things were enough to give me enough confidence to jump in and cloth diaper my son. I was not always great at it, and we have faced issues such as repelling, stinky inserts, awkward fit during growth spurts, bacterial rashes (easy to solve with a little bleach and sun, and prevent by not overloading the washing machine, I learned through trial and error), and probably some stuff I'm forgetting. We've just dealt with it, though. We're cloth diapering parents. We're not afraid of a little trial and error, and somehow, it's just always worked out. We're not geniuses or the holders of some great key to unconditional success. We're just parents who have made it work. We can surely give the benefit of our experience, but ultimately, people have to solve their own problems just as we have. It's really not so bad. I promise.
However, I find that some people seem to think I can work miracles, and make their transition seamless, so I think it's important to clarify what I can and cannot do.
I CAN:
-Tell you about every type of cloth diapers out there.
-Suggest brands I have found to be good quality.
-Loan you diapers from my personal stash to get you started.
-Help solve your laundry problems.
-Be an emergency source of cloth diaper safe detergent when the mailman runs late and you're out of dipes.
-Teach you how to fold a prefold.
-Give you about a thousand viable ways to cure diaper rash without killing your cloth diapers.
-Help get your husband on board with it. (OK, really, you want Thak for that. He's GOOD at convincing other dads that cloth is great.)
I CANNOT:
-Tell you what you are going to like. Everyone's preference is different.
-Make cheap cotton prefolds act like Huggies. They are different, and you and your baby will have to get used to it. I can't do anything about that.
-Make the learning curve instantaneous. Like anything else, you're going to have to experiment, learn, and fall on your face a few times just like the rest of us. I can help you learn faster, but I cannot eliminate the process entirely.
-Fit a chunky baby. I wish I could, but have you seen my beanpole son? All my experience is with tall skinny babies.
-Magically make a one-size diaper or cover fit a tiny newborn. Yes, they fit Orren from birth. Orren was over 9 pounds. The diapers are rated for 8-35 pounds. They won't fit a 4 pounder, and I really can't do anything about that.
I'm always really happy to help anyone who's wanting to cloth diaper. Don't get me wrong. I just get the feeling that people want me to make it this seamless transition for them, and to be able to make it something that it isn't, and magically solve problems that everyone has to face for themselves. It's not like that. It wasn't like that for me, and it will not be like that for anyone.
Some may not know this, but this is how I got into cloth diapering. There was a blog I read during Thak's 3rd deployment (I still read it, actually, just less frequently now) that's written by a wife whose husband was in the same brigade as Thak at that time (and same battalion as our friend Diaz). Well, she was cloth diapering her 7th baby at that point in time, and wrote a nice little tutorial, complete with photos, on how to use prefolds! Cool! She also gave a link to the Green Mountain Diapers website. That was the big one for me. I had tried to switch to cloth with Erin, but all I had was what I could get at Hinesville Wal Mart, which amounted to flats and the worst fitting plastic pants on the planet. They didn't even have any diaper pins, so I used the pins from ammo cans instead. It wasn't good. So basically, just to know where to get diaper service quality prefolds that actually work, was a big step in the right direction. Knowing how to fold one was even better!
After that, I knew it was feasible, and figured we'd go for it since frankly, I've always found disposables pretty disgusting on an ethical level. I knew Thak wouldn't be so easily swayed, so I researched a lot. I googled "high quality cloth diapers", and the first site that came up was Cottonbabies.com. There, I learned about Bum Genius. That looked like a good selling point for Thak. I also learned about other pocket diapers, but they were so expensive compared to the BG's. I thought the BG's were the way to go, so the next time Thak called me from south of Baghdad, I asked him what he thought of cloth diapering. He thought it was nuts. I asked him to look at the BG's, and emailed him a link. When he got back to his room after we got off the phone, he checked his email, liked what he saw, and messaged me that as long as he only ever had to change THOSE types of cloth diapers, he was 100% on board. Awesome.
I still had a little more research to do, so I searched for some online message boards about cloth diapering, and found a few. I wanted to know if BG's were the way to go, or if the more expensive brands were actually worth the money. There, I ran into this one Captain's wife I knew from a former unit, who happened to be cloth diapering her third baby (first in cloth) at that point, said that she loves BG's for her daughter, who's on the thin side, and that since me and Thak are the same height and weight as she and her husband, our baby will probably be similarly built to theirs (plus, she'd known Erin as a toddler, and knew that Erin wasn't very fat as a baby either) so by that, we'd probably have great success with BG's, so there was no need to buy the $32/ea diapers because the $17/ea ones would do us fine. With that, I took the plunge and ordered a dozen. That purchase, I have never once regretted. Future purchases included 5 dozen prefolds (various sizes), a few fitteds, and necessary covers. We've never bought a diaper that didn't work out for us, which leads me to believe that either Orren is very easy to fit, or that it's possible to make it work, no matter what, maybe both.
The bottom line is that I never expected anyone to make this a seamless transition for me. I liked being able to ask people who were familiar with the brands, what they thought of each brand I was considering, and if certain ones were worth the money or not, and stuff like that. I also liked seeing a photo tutorial of the holy grail of cloth diapering, the prefold. These things were enough to give me enough confidence to jump in and cloth diaper my son. I was not always great at it, and we have faced issues such as repelling, stinky inserts, awkward fit during growth spurts, bacterial rashes (easy to solve with a little bleach and sun, and prevent by not overloading the washing machine, I learned through trial and error), and probably some stuff I'm forgetting. We've just dealt with it, though. We're cloth diapering parents. We're not afraid of a little trial and error, and somehow, it's just always worked out. We're not geniuses or the holders of some great key to unconditional success. We're just parents who have made it work. We can surely give the benefit of our experience, but ultimately, people have to solve their own problems just as we have. It's really not so bad. I promise.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
We get only one planet, people.
Some guy just posted on our Garrison Commander's Q&A page, complaining about how the trash pick-up was missed in his housing area this week due to the holiday. That is a valid issue to bring up, really. It would be great to get an official statement from the trash collection company about what was going to be done to make up for the missed pick-up from the holiday. The city simply ran a couple days behind this week due to the holiday, and it worked out fine for everyone. I'm sure it wasn't great for the workers who had to come in on Saturday, but all the trash did get picked up, and all the city employees, including the garbage truck crews, got Thanksgiving off, which I think is only fair. Apparently post's plan wasn't so smooth, and that really has been an issue for some people. Like I said, it's a legitimate issue to raise.
The part that slayed me was that this guy said he has 2-year-old twins and fills the entire can (the curbside pick-up can. A BIG one.) with dirty diapers before half the week is out. You have GOT to be kidding me. Really, it's a joke right? Tell me it's a joke. If this guy is for real, that is freaking disgusting. How can anyone generate that much garbage and live with themselves? That is two full trash cans per week of stuff that's not going to biodegrade even within our great-great-great-grandchildren's lifetime! It doesn't even include the rest of the trash these people must generate. That's just bad.
This isn't an isolated incident, though. Others raised a huge stink when the post housing office replaced one of the two trash cans issued to each family, with a recycling can, thus leaving them one for trash and one for recycling. Our new General is really environmentally conscious. He wants his soldiers to do the right thing for the planet, and let's just say nobody on Colonel Row has had a single problem accomplishing it, so we know it's feasible. (Really, what's good enough for several Colonels and a two-star General is absolutely good enough for everybody here.) The problem comes with the rest of the masses. They were PISSED about having their second trash cans taken, claimed they didn't have the time to recycle, freaked out about what they were supposed to do with all the garbage... It really blew my mind.
First of all, I had no idea there existed people who don't recycle. How does that go? I mean, I can't remember ever NOT recycling. I remember having to drive our recycling somewhere to drop it off, and frankly, I never had curbside recycling pick-up except two times in my life. Once was when I lived on post at Ft. Stewart, and the other time is here. Other than that, yes, even off post at Ft. Stewart, we had to load our recycling in the car and take it to the sorting and pick-up station. Even so, not recycling was never a consideration. I really didn't have any friends who didn't recycle either, as far as I know. The fact that some people don't recycle, especially if they have curb-side pick-up is pretty much incomprehensible to me. Why wouldn't you if you know it's the right thing to do?
Secondly, it just blows my mind that people can generate so much garbage. We are a family of four, which is a very common family size. We have NEVER ONCE filled a trash can more than halfway in a week. How would you even find that much stuff to throw away?
I just think it's important for people to see the trash can as a last resort. If our planet is going to be any good for our kids, we can't clutter it with trash (And how trippy is it that disposable diapers are the 3rd biggest bulk item in America's landfills? Parents are pretty much saddling their children with their own waste in the future. That's really a crazy thing to think about.) Here are some ways to cut down on trash:
1) Can the item be repurposed? (Stained or torn clothes can be made into other stuff like book bags, quilts, or pillows. Boxes, tubes, and other packaging can be fun for kids to play with.)
2) Can someone else use the item? (There are Goodwill donation points all over this city. Give stuff you don't want that's still in good condition to them.)
3) Is the item compostable? (Even apartment dwellers can have a small compost bin on their balconies. Your potted plants will thank you for composting your scraps.)
4) Is the item recyclable? (Get the list from the city on what we recycle here. It's not as good as other places, but it's still enough that the majority of families should have more recycling than trash.)
Only items which meet none of the above criteria should be thrown in the trash. The trash should never be the first stop. We only get one planet, and frankly, I want better for my kids than a mountain of garbage. Don't you want better for yours, too?
The part that slayed me was that this guy said he has 2-year-old twins and fills the entire can (the curbside pick-up can. A BIG one.) with dirty diapers before half the week is out. You have GOT to be kidding me. Really, it's a joke right? Tell me it's a joke. If this guy is for real, that is freaking disgusting. How can anyone generate that much garbage and live with themselves? That is two full trash cans per week of stuff that's not going to biodegrade even within our great-great-great-grandchildren's lifetime! It doesn't even include the rest of the trash these people must generate. That's just bad.
This isn't an isolated incident, though. Others raised a huge stink when the post housing office replaced one of the two trash cans issued to each family, with a recycling can, thus leaving them one for trash and one for recycling. Our new General is really environmentally conscious. He wants his soldiers to do the right thing for the planet, and let's just say nobody on Colonel Row has had a single problem accomplishing it, so we know it's feasible. (Really, what's good enough for several Colonels and a two-star General is absolutely good enough for everybody here.) The problem comes with the rest of the masses. They were PISSED about having their second trash cans taken, claimed they didn't have the time to recycle, freaked out about what they were supposed to do with all the garbage... It really blew my mind.
First of all, I had no idea there existed people who don't recycle. How does that go? I mean, I can't remember ever NOT recycling. I remember having to drive our recycling somewhere to drop it off, and frankly, I never had curbside recycling pick-up except two times in my life. Once was when I lived on post at Ft. Stewart, and the other time is here. Other than that, yes, even off post at Ft. Stewart, we had to load our recycling in the car and take it to the sorting and pick-up station. Even so, not recycling was never a consideration. I really didn't have any friends who didn't recycle either, as far as I know. The fact that some people don't recycle, especially if they have curb-side pick-up is pretty much incomprehensible to me. Why wouldn't you if you know it's the right thing to do?
Secondly, it just blows my mind that people can generate so much garbage. We are a family of four, which is a very common family size. We have NEVER ONCE filled a trash can more than halfway in a week. How would you even find that much stuff to throw away?
I just think it's important for people to see the trash can as a last resort. If our planet is going to be any good for our kids, we can't clutter it with trash (And how trippy is it that disposable diapers are the 3rd biggest bulk item in America's landfills? Parents are pretty much saddling their children with their own waste in the future. That's really a crazy thing to think about.) Here are some ways to cut down on trash:
1) Can the item be repurposed? (Stained or torn clothes can be made into other stuff like book bags, quilts, or pillows. Boxes, tubes, and other packaging can be fun for kids to play with.)
2) Can someone else use the item? (There are Goodwill donation points all over this city. Give stuff you don't want that's still in good condition to them.)
3) Is the item compostable? (Even apartment dwellers can have a small compost bin on their balconies. Your potted plants will thank you for composting your scraps.)
4) Is the item recyclable? (Get the list from the city on what we recycle here. It's not as good as other places, but it's still enough that the majority of families should have more recycling than trash.)
Only items which meet none of the above criteria should be thrown in the trash. The trash should never be the first stop. We only get one planet, and frankly, I want better for my kids than a mountain of garbage. Don't you want better for yours, too?
Friday, November 26, 2010
You probably DO have a choice.
I hear it a lot. "I HAVE TO have this, that, and the other thing during labor, or I'll DIE! My doctor told me so! I can't have anything but hospital births!" Fear mongering at its finest, if you ask me. Do you know, I found out recently that a certain stupid OB slapped a high risk label on me because of "a history of macrosomia", meaning I have big babies. High risk because I have big hearty babies? Really? Every midwife I've ever spoken to has been happy to hear the size of my babies, and saw it as a positive thing because large babies are usually strong, and mine were no exceptions.
The point is, you can't take a doctor's word for whether or not you're really high risk, and need to birth in a hospital. Do you have any idea how much money doctors make for each hospital birth? Like tens of thousands of dollars. They WANT you to think you don't have a choice because if they scare you into thinking that, you'll just keep coming back, and they'll just keep getting richer. Not all doctors are evil, but a lot are very profit driven, and most are kind of scary. They look for stuff to be wrong even when it's not. That's what they're trained to do. If they look hard enough, and twist things enough, they'll find something. It never fails. If a doctor tells you you're high risk, get a second opinion, and make sure it's from a midwife.
With that said, according to the World Health Organization, 15% of women will actually have some medical necessity to birth in a hospital. You know what that means, though? 85% have a choice! Those are amazing odds! Also, just because you had to birth in a hospital once doesn't mean you always will. Maybe you had to do a hospital birth because you had triplets last time (in TX, twins can be delivered at home or in birth centers, but not triplets or higher), but you're having a singleton or twins this time. You're probably a candidate for any type of birth you want. Say you had severe anemia last time and had to do a hospital birth. Get some tincture of Yellow Dock, a lot of spinach and broccoli, and beef if you eat it, and of course you'll also need an understanding midwife, and you can probably do whatever kind of birth you want next time. Were preeclamptic last time? You might not be this time. Talk to a midwife about how to decrease your odds of it. Most risk factors are transient, but the doctors don't tell you that. They want you to keep coming back. They love your money. If you don't want to be there, at least ask if there's some other options, and ask someone who's actually in a position to give you that option, not a doctor. Obviously 99% of doctors are going to tell you homebirth or birth center birth is a horrible idea. When is the last time a doctor attended a birth anywhere but a hospital? 1930 or thereabout? You get the idea. Doctors aren't going to encourage you to do anything that would make them less money. Remember that when talking with them.
Also, be informed. You required several IV's during labor, so you have to birth in a hospital? What? I don't think there's a midwife on the planet who doesn't do IV's. Find a CNM so she can prescribe your medication, then deliver wherever she assists births. It will probably be a birth center in most states, although in some states, CNM's do homebirths, too, so ask around. Anything that can be done in a level 1 hospital (minus surgery) can be done at a birth center or home. Don't act like it isn't an option for you just because you needed some oxygen or something. They bring that stuff.
If you know these things and still don't choose it, that's cool, but if you consciously choose hospital birth over other options, with the full knowledge that you had options, you lose all your credibility when it comes to jumping on those of us who advocate birth center and home birth as viable options for women who are not happy with the way their hospital does things. Realize that when we propose that, there's an 85% shot that the woman in question would be well served by finding another route. I'm not going to stop advocating for something because of a 15% chance I'm talking with someone who couldn't do that. I also think it's important to remember that just like you hospital birthers are coming from what you know, so are we. I was a transfer once, but I have never planned a hospital birth, and find that prospect absolutely horrifying. When people have a problem with something on the forms (like not having a "no" option for the question "Would you like your son circumcised?") our answer to that is always going to be, "That doesn't sound like a safe place to bring a baby into the world. I would not give birth in a place like that. Can't you find a nice birth center or a homebirth midwife to assist you?" It is never too late to transfer. I've seen girls transfer to the birth center at 37 weeks, and have great normal births after their OB's told them they were nothing but c-section candidates, or had to be induced. I advocate it because I know it works.
With that said, I feel sorry for the 15% who don't have a viable option. However, I really do believe that there are a lot of people walking around thinking they don't have options, when they really do. Step out of the OB's office.
The point is, you can't take a doctor's word for whether or not you're really high risk, and need to birth in a hospital. Do you have any idea how much money doctors make for each hospital birth? Like tens of thousands of dollars. They WANT you to think you don't have a choice because if they scare you into thinking that, you'll just keep coming back, and they'll just keep getting richer. Not all doctors are evil, but a lot are very profit driven, and most are kind of scary. They look for stuff to be wrong even when it's not. That's what they're trained to do. If they look hard enough, and twist things enough, they'll find something. It never fails. If a doctor tells you you're high risk, get a second opinion, and make sure it's from a midwife.
With that said, according to the World Health Organization, 15% of women will actually have some medical necessity to birth in a hospital. You know what that means, though? 85% have a choice! Those are amazing odds! Also, just because you had to birth in a hospital once doesn't mean you always will. Maybe you had to do a hospital birth because you had triplets last time (in TX, twins can be delivered at home or in birth centers, but not triplets or higher), but you're having a singleton or twins this time. You're probably a candidate for any type of birth you want. Say you had severe anemia last time and had to do a hospital birth. Get some tincture of Yellow Dock, a lot of spinach and broccoli, and beef if you eat it, and of course you'll also need an understanding midwife, and you can probably do whatever kind of birth you want next time. Were preeclamptic last time? You might not be this time. Talk to a midwife about how to decrease your odds of it. Most risk factors are transient, but the doctors don't tell you that. They want you to keep coming back. They love your money. If you don't want to be there, at least ask if there's some other options, and ask someone who's actually in a position to give you that option, not a doctor. Obviously 99% of doctors are going to tell you homebirth or birth center birth is a horrible idea. When is the last time a doctor attended a birth anywhere but a hospital? 1930 or thereabout? You get the idea. Doctors aren't going to encourage you to do anything that would make them less money. Remember that when talking with them.
Also, be informed. You required several IV's during labor, so you have to birth in a hospital? What? I don't think there's a midwife on the planet who doesn't do IV's. Find a CNM so she can prescribe your medication, then deliver wherever she assists births. It will probably be a birth center in most states, although in some states, CNM's do homebirths, too, so ask around. Anything that can be done in a level 1 hospital (minus surgery) can be done at a birth center or home. Don't act like it isn't an option for you just because you needed some oxygen or something. They bring that stuff.
If you know these things and still don't choose it, that's cool, but if you consciously choose hospital birth over other options, with the full knowledge that you had options, you lose all your credibility when it comes to jumping on those of us who advocate birth center and home birth as viable options for women who are not happy with the way their hospital does things. Realize that when we propose that, there's an 85% shot that the woman in question would be well served by finding another route. I'm not going to stop advocating for something because of a 15% chance I'm talking with someone who couldn't do that. I also think it's important to remember that just like you hospital birthers are coming from what you know, so are we. I was a transfer once, but I have never planned a hospital birth, and find that prospect absolutely horrifying. When people have a problem with something on the forms (like not having a "no" option for the question "Would you like your son circumcised?") our answer to that is always going to be, "That doesn't sound like a safe place to bring a baby into the world. I would not give birth in a place like that. Can't you find a nice birth center or a homebirth midwife to assist you?" It is never too late to transfer. I've seen girls transfer to the birth center at 37 weeks, and have great normal births after their OB's told them they were nothing but c-section candidates, or had to be induced. I advocate it because I know it works.
With that said, I feel sorry for the 15% who don't have a viable option. However, I really do believe that there are a lot of people walking around thinking they don't have options, when they really do. Step out of the OB's office.
Activist mommies, we've gotta talk.
It is totally important to raise awareness of stuff, especially when it's stuff that never even occurred to most people. Things like carseat safety and alternatives to hospital birth are totally overlooked by most of society, especially the people who need to know the most, so it's way important to bring these things to people's attention.
However, I note a very distinct difference between the alternative birthing community and the carseat safety community. While those who speak up for birthing options are generally very mindful of the fact that they are speaking on a topic that nearly everyone takes personally, and tend to tread as lightly as possible for that reason, the carseat nuts (and I say that with affection, as I, too, am a carseat nut) take about the least tactful approach in so many cases. Both get ripped a new orifice multiple times a day for speaking up, yes, even the kind and light-treading birth activists, but I think the approach that so many of the carseat people take, is a reason why they do. Now granted, some parents are just foul, and will defend until the death (of injuries sustained in a car accident) their right to forward-face their 5-month-old, and their choice of a belt positioning booster for their 2-year-old. These are sad cases, and they suck. I like to believe they're not the majority, though.
I have corrected A LOT of people's carseat use over the past few years. I always take the same approach. I've had ONE totally rip me a new one. I've had a few tell me they did their research, and still chose to do things very wrong. (FYI, pediatricians and the Fire Department are both HORRIBLE places to go for carseat safety information. Instead, call Safe Kids and ask for a carseat tech.) I've had others actually correct their ways and do it for a few months, and I've had a fortunate few correct their ways and do it right forever. The fact is, I'd have had EVERY SINGLE ONE of those react badly if I acted the way a lot of these carseat mommies act.
Here's a thing we have to look at. Realism. In the real world, the general public, getting someone to rear-face past a year old is hard. If they turn their kid around when he/she is 2 1/2 years old, that's not worth ripping someone apart over. I would rather commend that person for rear-facing past 2 years old, which is the American Academy of Pediatrics' official recommendation. I would say that is a parent who did their homework. Just because some people manage to take their kids to their first day of Kindergarten rear-facing does not mean everyone has to. In fact, as much as I believe in extended rear-facing, I highly doubt we'll make it to 4 years old before turning Orren around. It will depend on him. There is a major milestone in spinal development at 3 years old, and for that reason, Thak and I are willing to consider forward-facing as an option anytime after Orren's 3rd birthday. This will probably make me extremely unpopular in carseat safety circles, but you know, I think sometimes people get too bogged down in their activism to actually be realistic about the way the world is. Sure, the lady with a 4-year-old who's Orren's size has no issue keeping him rear-facing. Consider that Orren is that big at not quite 2, and how big he will be by 4, and if you'd really keep a kid that size rear-facing. There comes a point when realism has to come into play. We want 3 years. Anything after that is a bonus. In reality, I'm thrilled to see any parent who even rear-faces to 2 since that's the AAP's rec on it.
Boosters are another big one. If someone has a kid who's 6 1/2 years old, 4' tall, and 50 pounds, and they want to booster that kid, there is absolutely no reason why they shouldn't. Any kid that age is probably mature enough to sit right in a booster, and 4' and 50 pounds is WELL within tolerance for any booster on the market. It drastically exceeds the 40 pound submarining risk marker. (Submarining, going under the seatbelt in a crash, is way more likely for boostered children under 40 pounds, yet most boosters on the market are rated as low as 30.) If a mom cannot afford a super huge 5-point harness seat for that kid, and wants to booster them, should they not be commended for keeping them harnessed past the 4 and 40 that most people know to be the recommendation, and given the recommendations for some good boosters? I think they should. Absolutely nobody should be made to feel bad just because their first grader is rocking a booster.
Look, it pains me just as much as the next nerd, when I see a forward-facing toddler who could easily rear-face, or even worse, a boostered preschooler (especially if it's a backless booster. CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE!!) but at the end of the day, it's totally necessary to pick the right battles. Focus on the one who wants to forward-face her 6-month-old because his feet are touching the backseat and she thinks that creates a hazard in a car accident. Focus on the one with the 3-year-old in a booster. Do not focus on the one who follows the AAP's recommendation to rear-face to 2, or the one who thinks it's appropriate to move her first grader to a booster. These are not our enemies. These are parents who are conscientious.
In fact, why not go after the AAP instead? Their recommendation to rear-face only until 2 doesn't make much sense. It should be until 3. Let's lobby THEM and get that changed. When that happens (and I believe it will), then people are going to start amending their practice. Let's also focus on getting the current recommendations out to people. Everyone is still hung up on the old outdated 1-and-20 garbage. They don't even know about the new 2 year recommendation (although it's not all that new). Let's publicize THAT. Parents love AAP recommendations! If we focus on getting out what already exists, in addition to a few words on best practice, and proof that it works (Our own kids are great proof that it's fully possible to use best practice, but people only think that if they don't think you're a crazy person.) There is what is perfect, and then there is what is feasible. I think if more people shot for feasible, we'd all get a lot further.
I propose this official stance:
-Rear-face at least until 2, preferably until the seat is outgrown rear-facing, but if you make 2 years, good for you.
-Harness at least halfway through Kindergarten.
-Booster until 5-step test is passed.
Any parent can do that, and I question the parenting skills of any who won't. This is realistic, and good, and people need to take a more moderate stance with those who are clueless, because if you alienate them, they'll just keep doing the bad stuff, and we all know how painful it is to look at bad carseat misuse.
However, I note a very distinct difference between the alternative birthing community and the carseat safety community. While those who speak up for birthing options are generally very mindful of the fact that they are speaking on a topic that nearly everyone takes personally, and tend to tread as lightly as possible for that reason, the carseat nuts (and I say that with affection, as I, too, am a carseat nut) take about the least tactful approach in so many cases. Both get ripped a new orifice multiple times a day for speaking up, yes, even the kind and light-treading birth activists, but I think the approach that so many of the carseat people take, is a reason why they do. Now granted, some parents are just foul, and will defend until the death (of injuries sustained in a car accident) their right to forward-face their 5-month-old, and their choice of a belt positioning booster for their 2-year-old. These are sad cases, and they suck. I like to believe they're not the majority, though.
I have corrected A LOT of people's carseat use over the past few years. I always take the same approach. I've had ONE totally rip me a new one. I've had a few tell me they did their research, and still chose to do things very wrong. (FYI, pediatricians and the Fire Department are both HORRIBLE places to go for carseat safety information. Instead, call Safe Kids and ask for a carseat tech.) I've had others actually correct their ways and do it for a few months, and I've had a fortunate few correct their ways and do it right forever. The fact is, I'd have had EVERY SINGLE ONE of those react badly if I acted the way a lot of these carseat mommies act.
Here's a thing we have to look at. Realism. In the real world, the general public, getting someone to rear-face past a year old is hard. If they turn their kid around when he/she is 2 1/2 years old, that's not worth ripping someone apart over. I would rather commend that person for rear-facing past 2 years old, which is the American Academy of Pediatrics' official recommendation. I would say that is a parent who did their homework. Just because some people manage to take their kids to their first day of Kindergarten rear-facing does not mean everyone has to. In fact, as much as I believe in extended rear-facing, I highly doubt we'll make it to 4 years old before turning Orren around. It will depend on him. There is a major milestone in spinal development at 3 years old, and for that reason, Thak and I are willing to consider forward-facing as an option anytime after Orren's 3rd birthday. This will probably make me extremely unpopular in carseat safety circles, but you know, I think sometimes people get too bogged down in their activism to actually be realistic about the way the world is. Sure, the lady with a 4-year-old who's Orren's size has no issue keeping him rear-facing. Consider that Orren is that big at not quite 2, and how big he will be by 4, and if you'd really keep a kid that size rear-facing. There comes a point when realism has to come into play. We want 3 years. Anything after that is a bonus. In reality, I'm thrilled to see any parent who even rear-faces to 2 since that's the AAP's rec on it.
Boosters are another big one. If someone has a kid who's 6 1/2 years old, 4' tall, and 50 pounds, and they want to booster that kid, there is absolutely no reason why they shouldn't. Any kid that age is probably mature enough to sit right in a booster, and 4' and 50 pounds is WELL within tolerance for any booster on the market. It drastically exceeds the 40 pound submarining risk marker. (Submarining, going under the seatbelt in a crash, is way more likely for boostered children under 40 pounds, yet most boosters on the market are rated as low as 30.) If a mom cannot afford a super huge 5-point harness seat for that kid, and wants to booster them, should they not be commended for keeping them harnessed past the 4 and 40 that most people know to be the recommendation, and given the recommendations for some good boosters? I think they should. Absolutely nobody should be made to feel bad just because their first grader is rocking a booster.
Look, it pains me just as much as the next nerd, when I see a forward-facing toddler who could easily rear-face, or even worse, a boostered preschooler (especially if it's a backless booster. CRINGE CRINGE CRINGE!!) but at the end of the day, it's totally necessary to pick the right battles. Focus on the one who wants to forward-face her 6-month-old because his feet are touching the backseat and she thinks that creates a hazard in a car accident. Focus on the one with the 3-year-old in a booster. Do not focus on the one who follows the AAP's recommendation to rear-face to 2, or the one who thinks it's appropriate to move her first grader to a booster. These are not our enemies. These are parents who are conscientious.
In fact, why not go after the AAP instead? Their recommendation to rear-face only until 2 doesn't make much sense. It should be until 3. Let's lobby THEM and get that changed. When that happens (and I believe it will), then people are going to start amending their practice. Let's also focus on getting the current recommendations out to people. Everyone is still hung up on the old outdated 1-and-20 garbage. They don't even know about the new 2 year recommendation (although it's not all that new). Let's publicize THAT. Parents love AAP recommendations! If we focus on getting out what already exists, in addition to a few words on best practice, and proof that it works (Our own kids are great proof that it's fully possible to use best practice, but people only think that if they don't think you're a crazy person.) There is what is perfect, and then there is what is feasible. I think if more people shot for feasible, we'd all get a lot further.
I propose this official stance:
-Rear-face at least until 2, preferably until the seat is outgrown rear-facing, but if you make 2 years, good for you.
-Harness at least halfway through Kindergarten.
-Booster until 5-step test is passed.
Any parent can do that, and I question the parenting skills of any who won't. This is realistic, and good, and people need to take a more moderate stance with those who are clueless, because if you alienate them, they'll just keep doing the bad stuff, and we all know how painful it is to look at bad carseat misuse.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Cheap is not the end of the story.
Until the US gets on the same page with places like the European Union, there will be two kinds of food here. There will be cheap food, and good food, and they will not be the same stuff in the vast majority of cases. With it being Thanksgiving this week, the talk of turkeys is abundant. I personally do not like turkey, so I didn't buy one, but when I was at Sun Harvest, I noticed that they had free range turkeys there for about $1.50 a pound. That doesn't sound like a high price to me, and for free range, it's well worth it. I recommended this to some people, just trying to be helpful, and they acted like it was ridiculous. After all, the (cheap disgusting awful) grocery store chain that is in every neighborhood in this town had them for $.47 per pound. They weren't free range, though.
I guess there are different standards for what constitutes "the best place in town to get a turkey". I had not seen free-range anywhere but Sun Harvest, and if I were going to buy a turkey, it would definitely buy a free-range one, so I thought it was worth mentioning. It seems like most others have the idea that the best place to get a turkey, is the cheapest place to get a turkey. Forget how it was raised, what it was fed, how it was processed... none of that matters as long as it's cheap, right?
Another thing that I've found strange for a long time about the military is how it's a big competition to see who can feed the biggest family for the cheapest. Now, there is some validity to that. It does pay to shop bulk sales when the commissary has them (I once got cans of organic diced tomatoes for $1.25 each. Those same cans go for $4 each normally at civ stores.) It does pay to stock up on things when they're on sale, and to use coupons. For the really daring ones, it pays to bake your own bread, and of course avoid prepackaged foods as much as possible. That's really where it ends, though. There just comes a point when you're sacrificing good for cheap, and nobody is really benefited much by that.
Sure, our meat budget would be half what it was if we just bought whatever the feedlots are turning out, but when it comes to any animal product, you REALLY get what you pay for. Extreme animal rights has never been my thing, but animal welfare is. We vote with our dollars for how we want farm animals treated. We've all driven through the North Texas feedlots. Can you honestly say that looks like a great life for those steers? I don't want to vote with my dollars for that. Why would anyone if they have a choice?
Animal products are really only the beginning of the story, though. While I can totally understand buying some non-organic veggies and fruits at times, GMO foods are an absolute deal breaker. Sure, I can buy some canola oil for half the price of the sunflower oil we use, but 100% of our canola products in the US have GMO. Sunflower does not. In fact, if you look on the back of the bottle, it says "Certified GMO Free". GMO Free is not cheap. Just like free range and organic meats, you will pay for it. Isn't it worth it to know that you are not feeding your children genetically modified foods, though? Isn't it worth it to NOT feed evil giants like Monsanto?
In the US, we have a food problem, and that problem is that good food is hard to find. I am acutely aware of this due to the fact that this entire city has only one store that sells any foods that a conscientious consumer would feel good about eating, and it's all the way on the other side of the city from my house. However, even we find a way. The first thing people have to do is realize that cheap is ok to a point, but just like anything else, there are right and wrong ways to do cheap.
Here are some great ways to save money on the grocery bill, and free up that room in the budget to buy conscientious products such as free-range meats and GMO-Free products:
-Replace paper towels with flat cotton diapers. They work better than paper towels, and are far cheaper.
-Replace expensive cleaning products with vinegar solution. It is even greener than the green cleaners, and works pretty well if you do it right.
-Cloth diaper your babies.
-Breastfeed for as long as you can. (Really, for what 6 months of formula costs, you could buy a whole SIDE of organic beef!)
-Bake your own bread. You do not need a bread machine, and it is not difficult nor time consuming.
-Cook from scratch. Most of the ready made things you pay a lot for are actually really easy to make. Things like teriyaki sauce, pie crusts, and most marinades and glazes can be made from scratch for pennies rather than bought for dollars.
-Buy bone-in chicken rather than boneless skinless. You'll pay a lot less per pound, and deboning really isn't hard.
-Go meatless a few days a week.
-Use less meat every day. I've found that just about every recipe there is can be made with half to a third the amount of meat it calls for and still taste great. Sure, that package of organic grass fed hamburger meat costs $10, but I'm actually not spending any more than you are since I can get three pasta dishes out of it, whereas most people would use three separate packages of hamburger, costing about $4 each. My way actually turns out cheaper. (For anyone curious, a great way to beef up a dish that you are using minimal beef in is to use mushrooms. Portabello and Shiitake are both excellent varieties to use for this. Cut them up nice and small, and they blend right in with the meat. If you have family members who hate mushrooms, just don't tell them you did this. Thak hates mushrooms and it works for me.)
By doing these few things, it can be possible for nearly any family to avoid being forced to choose between good and cheap. Really, this is our food we're talking about here, the stuff that fuels our bodies every day of our lives. It's nothing to mess around with.
I guess there are different standards for what constitutes "the best place in town to get a turkey". I had not seen free-range anywhere but Sun Harvest, and if I were going to buy a turkey, it would definitely buy a free-range one, so I thought it was worth mentioning. It seems like most others have the idea that the best place to get a turkey, is the cheapest place to get a turkey. Forget how it was raised, what it was fed, how it was processed... none of that matters as long as it's cheap, right?
Another thing that I've found strange for a long time about the military is how it's a big competition to see who can feed the biggest family for the cheapest. Now, there is some validity to that. It does pay to shop bulk sales when the commissary has them (I once got cans of organic diced tomatoes for $1.25 each. Those same cans go for $4 each normally at civ stores.) It does pay to stock up on things when they're on sale, and to use coupons. For the really daring ones, it pays to bake your own bread, and of course avoid prepackaged foods as much as possible. That's really where it ends, though. There just comes a point when you're sacrificing good for cheap, and nobody is really benefited much by that.
Sure, our meat budget would be half what it was if we just bought whatever the feedlots are turning out, but when it comes to any animal product, you REALLY get what you pay for. Extreme animal rights has never been my thing, but animal welfare is. We vote with our dollars for how we want farm animals treated. We've all driven through the North Texas feedlots. Can you honestly say that looks like a great life for those steers? I don't want to vote with my dollars for that. Why would anyone if they have a choice?
Animal products are really only the beginning of the story, though. While I can totally understand buying some non-organic veggies and fruits at times, GMO foods are an absolute deal breaker. Sure, I can buy some canola oil for half the price of the sunflower oil we use, but 100% of our canola products in the US have GMO. Sunflower does not. In fact, if you look on the back of the bottle, it says "Certified GMO Free". GMO Free is not cheap. Just like free range and organic meats, you will pay for it. Isn't it worth it to know that you are not feeding your children genetically modified foods, though? Isn't it worth it to NOT feed evil giants like Monsanto?
In the US, we have a food problem, and that problem is that good food is hard to find. I am acutely aware of this due to the fact that this entire city has only one store that sells any foods that a conscientious consumer would feel good about eating, and it's all the way on the other side of the city from my house. However, even we find a way. The first thing people have to do is realize that cheap is ok to a point, but just like anything else, there are right and wrong ways to do cheap.
Here are some great ways to save money on the grocery bill, and free up that room in the budget to buy conscientious products such as free-range meats and GMO-Free products:
-Replace paper towels with flat cotton diapers. They work better than paper towels, and are far cheaper.
-Replace expensive cleaning products with vinegar solution. It is even greener than the green cleaners, and works pretty well if you do it right.
-Cloth diaper your babies.
-Breastfeed for as long as you can. (Really, for what 6 months of formula costs, you could buy a whole SIDE of organic beef!)
-Bake your own bread. You do not need a bread machine, and it is not difficult nor time consuming.
-Cook from scratch. Most of the ready made things you pay a lot for are actually really easy to make. Things like teriyaki sauce, pie crusts, and most marinades and glazes can be made from scratch for pennies rather than bought for dollars.
-Buy bone-in chicken rather than boneless skinless. You'll pay a lot less per pound, and deboning really isn't hard.
-Go meatless a few days a week.
-Use less meat every day. I've found that just about every recipe there is can be made with half to a third the amount of meat it calls for and still taste great. Sure, that package of organic grass fed hamburger meat costs $10, but I'm actually not spending any more than you are since I can get three pasta dishes out of it, whereas most people would use three separate packages of hamburger, costing about $4 each. My way actually turns out cheaper. (For anyone curious, a great way to beef up a dish that you are using minimal beef in is to use mushrooms. Portabello and Shiitake are both excellent varieties to use for this. Cut them up nice and small, and they blend right in with the meat. If you have family members who hate mushrooms, just don't tell them you did this. Thak hates mushrooms and it works for me.)
By doing these few things, it can be possible for nearly any family to avoid being forced to choose between good and cheap. Really, this is our food we're talking about here, the stuff that fuels our bodies every day of our lives. It's nothing to mess around with.
So small town it's sick.
My in-laws are a trip. OK, I have to note three exceptions, and those would be all my brothers-in-law. Even though one of the three lives in a small town, he doesn't act like it for some reason. The other two live in a big city, so obviously it's not them.
The others, though... it seriously cracks me up. They're all freaking out because there was a break-in at a house two blocks away from this one cousin's house. Really? Two blocks away? That's not even close! If I paid attention to what went on blocks and blocks away from me, I'd be worried sick 24/7. I know what directions to walk in and what directions not to. I know what streets to avoid, and which are good. It's really not much different than it was in Hinesville. Sometimes stuff happens, and when it does, you do what everyone else does. You pull out your gun and hope the bastard goes away. If not, you have a bit of a standoff while someone else calls the police. If that doesn't work (and it just about never gets to that point) you shoot the bastard in the leg and wait for the cops. I know people who have been in every one of these situations. I guess I just take for granted that people think about home defense because I've spent most of my adult life in places where it was wise to know exactly what you'd do in that situation. I will say, in all these years, we have pulled our gun ONCE in home defense, and that's as far as it went. 9.9 times out of 10, anyone who tries to get into your home will run the minute they see that you're prepared to deal with them.
This really freaks out the small town in-laws, but I wonder why. They have more guns per capita than we do! They just use them only for hunting. What's the difference, though? Why would anyone who lives in any town at all not think they'd need to protect their home at some point? I'm not originally from a big city. I'm from a small town (granted, it's about 20x the size of their town) and I can tell you that people back home are not ignorant of home defense. I guess I just don't know why my small town in-laws don't get this. For being such rednecks they surely are afraid to defend what's theirs! OK, so I'm like half joking on that, but really, it is strange.
The others, though... it seriously cracks me up. They're all freaking out because there was a break-in at a house two blocks away from this one cousin's house. Really? Two blocks away? That's not even close! If I paid attention to what went on blocks and blocks away from me, I'd be worried sick 24/7. I know what directions to walk in and what directions not to. I know what streets to avoid, and which are good. It's really not much different than it was in Hinesville. Sometimes stuff happens, and when it does, you do what everyone else does. You pull out your gun and hope the bastard goes away. If not, you have a bit of a standoff while someone else calls the police. If that doesn't work (and it just about never gets to that point) you shoot the bastard in the leg and wait for the cops. I know people who have been in every one of these situations. I guess I just take for granted that people think about home defense because I've spent most of my adult life in places where it was wise to know exactly what you'd do in that situation. I will say, in all these years, we have pulled our gun ONCE in home defense, and that's as far as it went. 9.9 times out of 10, anyone who tries to get into your home will run the minute they see that you're prepared to deal with them.
This really freaks out the small town in-laws, but I wonder why. They have more guns per capita than we do! They just use them only for hunting. What's the difference, though? Why would anyone who lives in any town at all not think they'd need to protect their home at some point? I'm not originally from a big city. I'm from a small town (granted, it's about 20x the size of their town) and I can tell you that people back home are not ignorant of home defense. I guess I just don't know why my small town in-laws don't get this. For being such rednecks they surely are afraid to defend what's theirs! OK, so I'm like half joking on that, but really, it is strange.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Loving the Valco!
We've been using our Valco every day since we got it when we take our walks around the neighborhood. Yes, I push one kid in a double stroller, and probably look like a crazy person to anyone who sees, but I really don't care, because that stroller is outstanding. It is so smooth to push, and such a comfortable ride for Orren. It also doesn't ride at all unevenly even though there's only one kid in it.
We generally just fast walk a couple miles through our neighborhood every day, but today, I found out that the Valco jogs very well, too! We were at an abnormally busy intersection, and a truck was letting us cross, so I ran across the road with the stroller, and then after that, I had to run a little more to catch up with Erin. (She's out of school all week, so she'll be along for the walks all week.) This stroller just floats. I've seriously never seen anything else like it. You can literally push it with your pinky finger, and it just glides smoothly along any terrain, no matter if you're walking, running, or whatever. It's great.
I wasn't sure about it at first because the fold is huge, and I wasn't sure about a typical side-by-side, but this stroller is amazing. At first, I only bought it because it was cheaper than the Phil & Teds Explorer that I was going to buy. The longer we have it, though, the happier I am that we got it. It's definitely the best Craigslist find I've ever had! I will say, though, this stroller and the accessories we got with it are absolutely worth every penny of the $800 they cost to purchase from a retailer. To pay less than half price for this practically new (literally, used once) luxury stroller is just beyond belief. It's like a Land Rover in stroller form, and the more we put it through its paces, and learn about its features, the more we love it, and the luckier we feel to have gotten it. It's going to make it so much easier to get back down to size after the baby is born! Not only do I have a big neighborhood with miles and miles of nice sidewalks, but I have a stroller that's as fun for me to use as it is for the kids to ride in. It's a perfect system.
We generally just fast walk a couple miles through our neighborhood every day, but today, I found out that the Valco jogs very well, too! We were at an abnormally busy intersection, and a truck was letting us cross, so I ran across the road with the stroller, and then after that, I had to run a little more to catch up with Erin. (She's out of school all week, so she'll be along for the walks all week.) This stroller just floats. I've seriously never seen anything else like it. You can literally push it with your pinky finger, and it just glides smoothly along any terrain, no matter if you're walking, running, or whatever. It's great.
I wasn't sure about it at first because the fold is huge, and I wasn't sure about a typical side-by-side, but this stroller is amazing. At first, I only bought it because it was cheaper than the Phil & Teds Explorer that I was going to buy. The longer we have it, though, the happier I am that we got it. It's definitely the best Craigslist find I've ever had! I will say, though, this stroller and the accessories we got with it are absolutely worth every penny of the $800 they cost to purchase from a retailer. To pay less than half price for this practically new (literally, used once) luxury stroller is just beyond belief. It's like a Land Rover in stroller form, and the more we put it through its paces, and learn about its features, the more we love it, and the luckier we feel to have gotten it. It's going to make it so much easier to get back down to size after the baby is born! Not only do I have a big neighborhood with miles and miles of nice sidewalks, but I have a stroller that's as fun for me to use as it is for the kids to ride in. It's a perfect system.
Girl? Maybe.
We did intelligender. It's a just for fun gender predictor thingie, of questionable accuracy. They claim it's fairly accurate, and I know more people who have gotten a good result than a bad one, but again, it is just for fun, so we're not taking what it said very seriously. We just thought, since this is our last baby, we'd do the fun things like this that we didn't do with the first two.
So yeah, anyhow, Intelligender says we're having a girl! Only a few more weeks until we can do an ultrasound and find out for sure! No, really, just a few weeks. We're now 13.5 weeks. The earliest we could do an ultrasound and find out gender would be 16 weeks, so just 2.5 weeks until then. We'll probably wait a little longer than that just to be sure we get a good result, but in less than a month, we should know if we're having a boy or a girl.
So yeah, anyhow, Intelligender says we're having a girl! Only a few more weeks until we can do an ultrasound and find out for sure! No, really, just a few weeks. We're now 13.5 weeks. The earliest we could do an ultrasound and find out gender would be 16 weeks, so just 2.5 weeks until then. We'll probably wait a little longer than that just to be sure we get a good result, but in less than a month, we should know if we're having a boy or a girl.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Geez, really?
It came up again. The house thing. People have such a hard time finding houses here, apparently, and anyone who has had success in that way is just a target for so much nastiness. It's crap.
Yes, I have a house that works great for my family.
No, it isn't brand new, or in one of the hippest neighborhoods in town.
At the same time, it's obviously a good neighborhood since only senior military personnel (and a whole lot of civilians) live here.
No, I don't have to live on the northeast side, nor would I want to.
I'm not sorry that my husband has a short commute, and can come home and see me at lunch.
I really do think it's feasible for anyone to find an affordable place for them. It might be a trailer and it might be in the middle of nowhere. Your husband may commute an hour to work every day, but you will be able to find somewhere to live.
You know, when I arrived at Ft. Stewart in 2004, the housing market was 100x worse than it is here currently. It was to the point that if you saw a listing, you could bet it had already been rented out, and if you weren't willing to lease a house sight unseen, you weren't going to get a house. Believe it or not, it was 10x more of a crap shoot there than it is here, because there, there was only one zip code for the entire county, so the address didn't tell you anything about the neighborhood. Here, you can at least narrow it down to a few zip codes you're ok with. Rent hikes in proportion to BAH? Again, bitchy Army wife, meet Hinesville, GA. It was 10x more obvious and more drastic there than it is here. People just accept that the first year they're in their place, money's going to be tight unless they can finagle a promotion that comes with a BAH raise. (In other words, Sergeant or higher.)
I also know that there's a MASSIVE jump in housing allowance after the rank of Sergeant. The difference between a Sergeant and a Staff Sergeant doesn't look like much, but somehow, the biggest jump in housing allowance comes when one makes Staff Sergeant. It's hundreds of dollars' difference, whereas any other promotion will get you maybe $30-70 more than you were getting before. I don't know why this divide exists where it does (although I think it's fitting when you consider the average soldier's career progression), and I didn't put it there. I just happen to live on the better side of it NOW. I didn't always.
When Thak and I got married, he was a Sergeant. We got very little in housing allowance, and I had to find us a house in Hinesville, GA, in 2004. I found one. It was a tiny 2 BR/1 BA house with no kitchen counter space and tiny closets that were mostly taken up with weird utility odds and ends, but it was what we could afford, and we were happy with it. We miss that house to this day, as strange as that may seem. The ONLY time I actually paid much attention to what other people had was when we made the mistake of moving on post, and I had to watch Privates' wives getting bigger houses, with dishwashers and dining areas, while I paid more for the smallest floorplan on post, washed dishes by hand, and had to figure out how to fit my table into a tiny living room. I hate post housing. That's not a secret. When we didn't live on post, though, even when we lived in the tiny little house, I was never jealous or mean to wives who had more than I had. I was friends with a couple wives who were senior to me, and it just seemed obvious that they'd have bigger houses. If one woman's husband is a Sergeant First Class, and mine was a Buck Sergeant at that time, why wouldn't she have a bigger house than me? She had a nicer car, too... I also took that to be an obvious thing.
Even after Thak was promoted, and we moved to a nice 4 BR brick house in a popular neighborhood, nobody was mean to us about it. I knew people with lower ranking husbands, who could never afford the house I had then, and nobody every told me I didn't deserve my house. Nobody ever wished ill on me just because I had a house big enough for my family in a neighborhood I could feel good about living in. People just accepted, "Thak has enough rank to get that for Anna." and that was that.
So why are the wives here so mean? I have had people tell me it's unfair that I have my house, that I did nothing to deserve it because I didn't earn Thak's rank, and I've even had some really foul women tell me that I would "get the wake-up call of my life someday and not be able to afford that anymore". Really? In what world is it ok to wish ill on somebody just because they have a house they like? It's not ok.
I always try to be encouraging of people on their house hunts because so many people are so negative about it. I have to try to show the other side. It wasn't bad for us, and I always tell people how we found our house, and assure them that they will find a house, too. Do I mean a lower-enlisted wife will get a house like mine? No. I don't mean that at all. I mean she will have somewhere to live, just like I had when I was a brand new Sergeant's wife. No, I have absolutely no idea what it's like to raise a family on Private's pay, and I never will, but I do know that I've yet to meet a military family who's homeless, and that it is absolutely true that everybody finds a place to live some way.
This may be one of the byproducts of the Army's insistence that families have no rank. It results in a lot of confusion when someone thinks her husband ought to be able to get her what some other wife has... only not to consider that the other wife's husband has been in the Army for 4x as long as hers, and gets paid a bit better. In this way, I see how lucky I am to have been a soldier first. From day one of my enlistment, I knew that I wouldn't have as nice of things as my superiors had, but that I could have those things one day if I worked hard and earned as much rank as they had. It was easy to translate that to my role as a wife after I got out. It didn't shock me that the Sergeant Major's wife drove a Lexus while Thak and I shared my Pontiac. I didn't care that the Sergeant First Class' wife had a 3 BR house despite having no children while I had a 2 BR. These things were obvious to me. It would have been weird if they lived like I lived at the time even though their husbands out ranked mine. I just wish others would give me the courtesy that was so obvious for me to give to the wives who were senior to me back then.
As a final thought, I really do promise you will find a house. No, the big adobe in my neighborhood won't be it (I can't think of affording that one either!) but you will find somewhere to live, and it will be ok. I guarantee it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Yes, I have a house that works great for my family.
No, it isn't brand new, or in one of the hippest neighborhoods in town.
At the same time, it's obviously a good neighborhood since only senior military personnel (and a whole lot of civilians) live here.
No, I don't have to live on the northeast side, nor would I want to.
I'm not sorry that my husband has a short commute, and can come home and see me at lunch.
I really do think it's feasible for anyone to find an affordable place for them. It might be a trailer and it might be in the middle of nowhere. Your husband may commute an hour to work every day, but you will be able to find somewhere to live.
You know, when I arrived at Ft. Stewart in 2004, the housing market was 100x worse than it is here currently. It was to the point that if you saw a listing, you could bet it had already been rented out, and if you weren't willing to lease a house sight unseen, you weren't going to get a house. Believe it or not, it was 10x more of a crap shoot there than it is here, because there, there was only one zip code for the entire county, so the address didn't tell you anything about the neighborhood. Here, you can at least narrow it down to a few zip codes you're ok with. Rent hikes in proportion to BAH? Again, bitchy Army wife, meet Hinesville, GA. It was 10x more obvious and more drastic there than it is here. People just accept that the first year they're in their place, money's going to be tight unless they can finagle a promotion that comes with a BAH raise. (In other words, Sergeant or higher.)
I also know that there's a MASSIVE jump in housing allowance after the rank of Sergeant. The difference between a Sergeant and a Staff Sergeant doesn't look like much, but somehow, the biggest jump in housing allowance comes when one makes Staff Sergeant. It's hundreds of dollars' difference, whereas any other promotion will get you maybe $30-70 more than you were getting before. I don't know why this divide exists where it does (although I think it's fitting when you consider the average soldier's career progression), and I didn't put it there. I just happen to live on the better side of it NOW. I didn't always.
When Thak and I got married, he was a Sergeant. We got very little in housing allowance, and I had to find us a house in Hinesville, GA, in 2004. I found one. It was a tiny 2 BR/1 BA house with no kitchen counter space and tiny closets that were mostly taken up with weird utility odds and ends, but it was what we could afford, and we were happy with it. We miss that house to this day, as strange as that may seem. The ONLY time I actually paid much attention to what other people had was when we made the mistake of moving on post, and I had to watch Privates' wives getting bigger houses, with dishwashers and dining areas, while I paid more for the smallest floorplan on post, washed dishes by hand, and had to figure out how to fit my table into a tiny living room. I hate post housing. That's not a secret. When we didn't live on post, though, even when we lived in the tiny little house, I was never jealous or mean to wives who had more than I had. I was friends with a couple wives who were senior to me, and it just seemed obvious that they'd have bigger houses. If one woman's husband is a Sergeant First Class, and mine was a Buck Sergeant at that time, why wouldn't she have a bigger house than me? She had a nicer car, too... I also took that to be an obvious thing.
Even after Thak was promoted, and we moved to a nice 4 BR brick house in a popular neighborhood, nobody was mean to us about it. I knew people with lower ranking husbands, who could never afford the house I had then, and nobody every told me I didn't deserve my house. Nobody ever wished ill on me just because I had a house big enough for my family in a neighborhood I could feel good about living in. People just accepted, "Thak has enough rank to get that for Anna." and that was that.
So why are the wives here so mean? I have had people tell me it's unfair that I have my house, that I did nothing to deserve it because I didn't earn Thak's rank, and I've even had some really foul women tell me that I would "get the wake-up call of my life someday and not be able to afford that anymore". Really? In what world is it ok to wish ill on somebody just because they have a house they like? It's not ok.
I always try to be encouraging of people on their house hunts because so many people are so negative about it. I have to try to show the other side. It wasn't bad for us, and I always tell people how we found our house, and assure them that they will find a house, too. Do I mean a lower-enlisted wife will get a house like mine? No. I don't mean that at all. I mean she will have somewhere to live, just like I had when I was a brand new Sergeant's wife. No, I have absolutely no idea what it's like to raise a family on Private's pay, and I never will, but I do know that I've yet to meet a military family who's homeless, and that it is absolutely true that everybody finds a place to live some way.
This may be one of the byproducts of the Army's insistence that families have no rank. It results in a lot of confusion when someone thinks her husband ought to be able to get her what some other wife has... only not to consider that the other wife's husband has been in the Army for 4x as long as hers, and gets paid a bit better. In this way, I see how lucky I am to have been a soldier first. From day one of my enlistment, I knew that I wouldn't have as nice of things as my superiors had, but that I could have those things one day if I worked hard and earned as much rank as they had. It was easy to translate that to my role as a wife after I got out. It didn't shock me that the Sergeant Major's wife drove a Lexus while Thak and I shared my Pontiac. I didn't care that the Sergeant First Class' wife had a 3 BR house despite having no children while I had a 2 BR. These things were obvious to me. It would have been weird if they lived like I lived at the time even though their husbands out ranked mine. I just wish others would give me the courtesy that was so obvious for me to give to the wives who were senior to me back then.
As a final thought, I really do promise you will find a house. No, the big adobe in my neighborhood won't be it (I can't think of affording that one either!) but you will find somewhere to live, and it will be ok. I guarantee it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Gorgeous!!
Click here! It's amazing!
This is the antidote to scary hospital birth photos. You HAVE GOT to see these beautiful homebirth pictures. Not to mention, how awesome is it to see over 100 moms who have succeeded in this endeavor, some of them against insane odds (after multiple c-sections even!) and some of them multiple times (I think one of them had like three homebirths!). It's truly a rare and amazing sight.
What I love most about these pictures is how great the babies look. In hospital birth photos, you can't help but feel sorry for the babies because they're either completely drugged up or freaked out (sometimes both. Ask Erin about that.) With these babies, it's the opposite. They're calm, not fearful, and just perfect. It's just like how Orren was when he was born. Can't wait to bring little Chaiyo David or Sirikit Clare into the world in that same way in just six or so more months!
This is the antidote to scary hospital birth photos. You HAVE GOT to see these beautiful homebirth pictures. Not to mention, how awesome is it to see over 100 moms who have succeeded in this endeavor, some of them against insane odds (after multiple c-sections even!) and some of them multiple times (I think one of them had like three homebirths!). It's truly a rare and amazing sight.
What I love most about these pictures is how great the babies look. In hospital birth photos, you can't help but feel sorry for the babies because they're either completely drugged up or freaked out (sometimes both. Ask Erin about that.) With these babies, it's the opposite. They're calm, not fearful, and just perfect. It's just like how Orren was when he was born. Can't wait to bring little Chaiyo David or Sirikit Clare into the world in that same way in just six or so more months!
Some, I just can't even answer.
Obviously I'm no stranger to the comments about how I'm reckless for planning a homebirth, and people who've drank the ACOG Koolaid about how a choice to homebirth is a choice to place the baby's health at something other than top priority, and all that other garbage. I'm really pretty used to it (although it's always nasty. Stop it already. Seriously. I don't tell you I think you're dumb for putting yourself in a position of having nothing but inductions and c-sections all your reproductive years.)
The other day, though, someone said something that totally slayed me, and left me at kind of a loss for words. She said, "Surely you can find a hospital that will allow you to have the birth that you want. If you don't want the stuff you're so against, you just have to refuse it." It is notable that this person has never had anything remotely resembling a normal birth.
At first, I thought to myself, "My, this person is a great study in missing the point." because precisely the reason I have never in my life planned a hospital birth (yes, I was a transfer once, but it was unintended.) is because the US hospitals of today are really not safe places for healthy women to bring healthy babies into the world. I'm an information junkie, always have been. Even when I was 21 years old and expecting my first baby, otherwise completely clueless on the birth culture in the US, and reading mainstream pregnancy books by the dozen, I looked into a lot of stuff, and found a lot that was very disconcerting. There was a lot in the mainstream pregnancy books that scared me. Talk of epidurals, IV's, pitocin, internal monitors, forceps, vacuums, episiotomies, and really any of this other stuff literally made my skin crawl. (It still does, just more so now.) I researched a lot about it, because I figured this stuff couldn't possibly be very safe or beneficial. I learned that it actually is quite harmful in the vast majority of cases, and not the least bit indicated, yet very commonly used in US hospitals because hospitals are businesses, and they try to govern with policy, something that can only be governed by nature... the birth process. Arbitrary standards which really don't serve anyone, are slapped on everyone, and it results in the use of all these interventions, which carry a whole host of risks. Then the interventions cascade, and result in the worst of the worst, a c-section, in over 1/3 of cases.
With that in mind, I wondered how on earth I would even respond to someone who thought I could find a hospital which would allow me to have the birth that I want, when there's really not a hospital on the planet that's willing to let the majority of women have the birth their body is going to allow them to have.
Contrary to a recent accusation of homebirthers by a mainstream publication, I'm not a control freak. I'm actually the opposite of that. When I was pregnant with Orren, our midwife, Nancy, had to ask me 5 times for my birth plan because I really didn't want to make one. I said, "You know I'm going to have the baby here at the birth center, right?" She said that she did. I said, "And I trust that you won't transfer me for something frivolous." to which she affirmed that she wouldn't, and I said, "The problem, Nancy, is that I don't know what I'm going to want when I'm in labor. I want to just take it as it comes and do what seems like a good idea at the time." She laughed, and said that was fine, but to write down a few things on the birth plan anyhow. I did. It was probably the most minimal birth plan in the history of mankind, and Orren's birth was a million times better than I could ever have imagined because I did exactly what I told Nancy I was going to do. I took it as it came, and did whatever felt right at any exact moment. I'm not a control freak. I just want the birth that nature is going to give me at that time, not the birth that the medical establishment thinks I should have.
The bottom line, I guess, is twofold. The first portion being that there is absolutely no hospital in the United States that will allow me to have the birth I know that I, as a human being, am entitled to. (It goes beyond want. We are entitled to the type of birth we evolved to have.) That's because I learned from my previous births. They were both important and they taught me a lot. Erin's taught me that transfers aren't just what happens to other people, and that if your life isn't in order, your birth will be a real disaster. Orren's taught me that I am capable of a normal human birth experience, not to be scared of large babies (9 pound 9 ounces! I'm still proud of that!), and that I do my best work at home. I needed to be at the birth center for his birth, but it was the jumping off point for my homebirth this time. It is my last baby. I'm never going to do this again. It is the culmination of all that I have learned, and how far I have come, from transfer disaster, to awesome normal birth center birth, to hopefully awesome normal homebirth. No hospital can give me this. If I settled for a hospital birth at this point, I would have unfinished business with myself, because I know I can do better, that my baby deserves better, that I deserve better, than today's US hospitals.
The other prong of the bottom line is that I don't like the implication that the hospitals will do what I want them to do if I fight them. That is a comment that could only ever come from someone who has never had, nor dared to want, a normal birth. I can tell you from experience, if you're in the zone enough to labor well, you're unable to fight. If you're able to fight, you won't be able to labor well. The two are mutually exclusive, and you can actually do a really effective job stalling your labor if you get into a situation that's uncomfortable (ask me sometime about a stupid nursing student named Emily and how she stuck me at 7 cm for 4 hours). Coping successfully (and therefore progressing) is the opposite of fighting. You cannot walk to the right and to the left simultaneously, and you cannot fight for your right to a normal birth, while at the same time having that normal birth. Although I do find it a bit ironic that this person essentially suggested that I do something absolutely impossible, superhuman even. It is a common accusation that homebirth moms are trying to be superhuman. In reality, we know we can't be, and in general, we're pretty thrilled with the things being human gets us the chance to do.
I also will note that I have used the term "normal" birth to mean birth without interventions. That's for two reasons. First, "natural birth" has come, in recent years, to mean any birth that culminated in a baby exiting a vagina, and include births with all kinds of interventions which are decidedly not natural. Also, isn't normal a great way to describe the birth experience that our species was intended to have? An intervention-free birth is a very normal thing for a human female to have. It is biologically appropriate. It may not be very common these days, but it is definitely normal. I find the term more fitting than what natural has morphed into.
The other day, though, someone said something that totally slayed me, and left me at kind of a loss for words. She said, "Surely you can find a hospital that will allow you to have the birth that you want. If you don't want the stuff you're so against, you just have to refuse it." It is notable that this person has never had anything remotely resembling a normal birth.
At first, I thought to myself, "My, this person is a great study in missing the point." because precisely the reason I have never in my life planned a hospital birth (yes, I was a transfer once, but it was unintended.) is because the US hospitals of today are really not safe places for healthy women to bring healthy babies into the world. I'm an information junkie, always have been. Even when I was 21 years old and expecting my first baby, otherwise completely clueless on the birth culture in the US, and reading mainstream pregnancy books by the dozen, I looked into a lot of stuff, and found a lot that was very disconcerting. There was a lot in the mainstream pregnancy books that scared me. Talk of epidurals, IV's, pitocin, internal monitors, forceps, vacuums, episiotomies, and really any of this other stuff literally made my skin crawl. (It still does, just more so now.) I researched a lot about it, because I figured this stuff couldn't possibly be very safe or beneficial. I learned that it actually is quite harmful in the vast majority of cases, and not the least bit indicated, yet very commonly used in US hospitals because hospitals are businesses, and they try to govern with policy, something that can only be governed by nature... the birth process. Arbitrary standards which really don't serve anyone, are slapped on everyone, and it results in the use of all these interventions, which carry a whole host of risks. Then the interventions cascade, and result in the worst of the worst, a c-section, in over 1/3 of cases.
With that in mind, I wondered how on earth I would even respond to someone who thought I could find a hospital which would allow me to have the birth that I want, when there's really not a hospital on the planet that's willing to let the majority of women have the birth their body is going to allow them to have.
Contrary to a recent accusation of homebirthers by a mainstream publication, I'm not a control freak. I'm actually the opposite of that. When I was pregnant with Orren, our midwife, Nancy, had to ask me 5 times for my birth plan because I really didn't want to make one. I said, "You know I'm going to have the baby here at the birth center, right?" She said that she did. I said, "And I trust that you won't transfer me for something frivolous." to which she affirmed that she wouldn't, and I said, "The problem, Nancy, is that I don't know what I'm going to want when I'm in labor. I want to just take it as it comes and do what seems like a good idea at the time." She laughed, and said that was fine, but to write down a few things on the birth plan anyhow. I did. It was probably the most minimal birth plan in the history of mankind, and Orren's birth was a million times better than I could ever have imagined because I did exactly what I told Nancy I was going to do. I took it as it came, and did whatever felt right at any exact moment. I'm not a control freak. I just want the birth that nature is going to give me at that time, not the birth that the medical establishment thinks I should have.
The bottom line, I guess, is twofold. The first portion being that there is absolutely no hospital in the United States that will allow me to have the birth I know that I, as a human being, am entitled to. (It goes beyond want. We are entitled to the type of birth we evolved to have.) That's because I learned from my previous births. They were both important and they taught me a lot. Erin's taught me that transfers aren't just what happens to other people, and that if your life isn't in order, your birth will be a real disaster. Orren's taught me that I am capable of a normal human birth experience, not to be scared of large babies (9 pound 9 ounces! I'm still proud of that!), and that I do my best work at home. I needed to be at the birth center for his birth, but it was the jumping off point for my homebirth this time. It is my last baby. I'm never going to do this again. It is the culmination of all that I have learned, and how far I have come, from transfer disaster, to awesome normal birth center birth, to hopefully awesome normal homebirth. No hospital can give me this. If I settled for a hospital birth at this point, I would have unfinished business with myself, because I know I can do better, that my baby deserves better, that I deserve better, than today's US hospitals.
The other prong of the bottom line is that I don't like the implication that the hospitals will do what I want them to do if I fight them. That is a comment that could only ever come from someone who has never had, nor dared to want, a normal birth. I can tell you from experience, if you're in the zone enough to labor well, you're unable to fight. If you're able to fight, you won't be able to labor well. The two are mutually exclusive, and you can actually do a really effective job stalling your labor if you get into a situation that's uncomfortable (ask me sometime about a stupid nursing student named Emily and how she stuck me at 7 cm for 4 hours). Coping successfully (and therefore progressing) is the opposite of fighting. You cannot walk to the right and to the left simultaneously, and you cannot fight for your right to a normal birth, while at the same time having that normal birth. Although I do find it a bit ironic that this person essentially suggested that I do something absolutely impossible, superhuman even. It is a common accusation that homebirth moms are trying to be superhuman. In reality, we know we can't be, and in general, we're pretty thrilled with the things being human gets us the chance to do.
I also will note that I have used the term "normal" birth to mean birth without interventions. That's for two reasons. First, "natural birth" has come, in recent years, to mean any birth that culminated in a baby exiting a vagina, and include births with all kinds of interventions which are decidedly not natural. Also, isn't normal a great way to describe the birth experience that our species was intended to have? An intervention-free birth is a very normal thing for a human female to have. It is biologically appropriate. It may not be very common these days, but it is definitely normal. I find the term more fitting than what natural has morphed into.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Republicans
In general, I really don't like Republicans. Why, you may ask? Well, the short answer is, they're full of crap, and a lot of them are extremely hypocritical.
It occurred to me tonight that most of the people I know who are all about taking all the freebies they can get, are Republicans. Look, I'm not about to begrudge the poor of taking part in programs that exist for them, but what kind of sense does it make to talk about your kid's free school lunches and your WIC vouchers in one breath, and bash Obama in the next? Don't you know if it were up to Republicans, you would actually have to make it on your husband's meager paycheck alone? The government would not be feeding your kids for you, that's for sure.
It just strikes me funny when the post welfare queen, the girl who knows exactly where the form is to fill out to get your free Thanksgiving box, and how much the vouchers are in every single program known to man, and just where to go and what to bring there, in other words, the girl who's TOTALLY a product of the institution, votes Republican. Republicans don't believe in redistribution of wealth, right? Yet somehow, these things are all paid for by fund raisers where they hit up people, like, Thak's rank, for a few bucks to wear civilian clothes to work on a Friday, or the way we pay more for barbecue plates at unit functions, or tickets for the ball, than those of lower rank. We don't mind doing these things at all, and I think it's cool that they give out food to the lower-enlisteds at the holidays, but isn't that basically redistribution of wealth, but on a smaller scale? If you're a Republican, wouldn't you be against that?
I find it the absolute funniest when someone who claims to be a Republican, laps up socialized medicine, and then knocks the Obama healthcare plan. Dude, seriously? Don't you see that you're living it now, and that you love it? What are you, stupid? No, you're not going to have to pay for it. Remember? You're on the right end of the redistribution. (Hell, when it comes to the country as a whole, so are we! When it comes to the military, not so much.) Driving this point home, if any of these people complain about what they're getting at the Army hospital, and I tell them they have a choice, but it'll cost them a few bucks, they say "Hell no! I'm not paying for health care! My husband works hard!" (Because everyone in all of the US doesn't work hard or something?)
How on earth can you claim to be a Republican if you lap up socialized medicine, get by on charity and welfare, and feel completely entitled to these things? Again, I'm not saying poor people shouldn't do this stuff, because it really beats the alternative, but dude... look in the mirror. If you do that stuff, you really can't afford a GOP membership. Hell, most of us can't these days! At least the rest of us know it!
It occurred to me tonight that most of the people I know who are all about taking all the freebies they can get, are Republicans. Look, I'm not about to begrudge the poor of taking part in programs that exist for them, but what kind of sense does it make to talk about your kid's free school lunches and your WIC vouchers in one breath, and bash Obama in the next? Don't you know if it were up to Republicans, you would actually have to make it on your husband's meager paycheck alone? The government would not be feeding your kids for you, that's for sure.
It just strikes me funny when the post welfare queen, the girl who knows exactly where the form is to fill out to get your free Thanksgiving box, and how much the vouchers are in every single program known to man, and just where to go and what to bring there, in other words, the girl who's TOTALLY a product of the institution, votes Republican. Republicans don't believe in redistribution of wealth, right? Yet somehow, these things are all paid for by fund raisers where they hit up people, like, Thak's rank, for a few bucks to wear civilian clothes to work on a Friday, or the way we pay more for barbecue plates at unit functions, or tickets for the ball, than those of lower rank. We don't mind doing these things at all, and I think it's cool that they give out food to the lower-enlisteds at the holidays, but isn't that basically redistribution of wealth, but on a smaller scale? If you're a Republican, wouldn't you be against that?
I find it the absolute funniest when someone who claims to be a Republican, laps up socialized medicine, and then knocks the Obama healthcare plan. Dude, seriously? Don't you see that you're living it now, and that you love it? What are you, stupid? No, you're not going to have to pay for it. Remember? You're on the right end of the redistribution. (Hell, when it comes to the country as a whole, so are we! When it comes to the military, not so much.) Driving this point home, if any of these people complain about what they're getting at the Army hospital, and I tell them they have a choice, but it'll cost them a few bucks, they say "Hell no! I'm not paying for health care! My husband works hard!" (Because everyone in all of the US doesn't work hard or something?)
How on earth can you claim to be a Republican if you lap up socialized medicine, get by on charity and welfare, and feel completely entitled to these things? Again, I'm not saying poor people shouldn't do this stuff, because it really beats the alternative, but dude... look in the mirror. If you do that stuff, you really can't afford a GOP membership. Hell, most of us can't these days! At least the rest of us know it!
I found it! This is why people think it's safer to go somewhere!
I found a link on a homebirth blog to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists' official statement on homebirth. I'll tell you straight off, this is the biggest crock of shit I've read in years, but at the same time, it was a major lightbulb moment to read it. The thing is, as full of it as we know ACOG is for the most part, a lot of people listen to these windbags, and that's why they say the inane crap to me that they say. I'll copy-paste the statement in its entirety. My commentary will be in dark purple.
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) reiterates its long-standing opposition to home births. While childbirth is a normal physiologic process that most women experience without problems, monitoring of both the woman and the fetus during labor and delivery in a hospital or accredited birthing center is essential because complications can arise with little or no warning even among women with low-risk pregnancies.
And what exactly would they do about it in a birth center? They can't perform surgery there or something. That's when hospital transfers happen, and as long as you don't live in the middle of nowhere, what's the difference between a transfer from a birth center and a transfer from home? They make it seem like birthing at home, you're not monitored at all, but in reality, the same type of monitoring is used at home as would be in a birth center (intermittent monitoring via doppler).
Oh, and I particularly love the guideline to choose a midwife who's nothing more than some OB's sock puppet. These are the CNM's who induce people all the time, and tell you that you need to have your baby by 40 weeks, and basically are no better than an OB. There are some great CNM's in this world, and I should know, but the ones ACOG is recommending are not them.
So yeah, like I said, this whole statement was a gigantic crock, but it did explain a lot. The mainstream people trust ACOG for their guidelines, and they literally come out and say that going anywhere, no matter where that is, to give birth, is safer than doing it at home.
Now, how do we debunk this crap?
The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) reiterates its long-standing opposition to home births. While childbirth is a normal physiologic process that most women experience without problems, monitoring of both the woman and the fetus during labor and delivery in a hospital or accredited birthing center is essential because complications can arise with little or no warning even among women with low-risk pregnancies.
And what exactly would they do about it in a birth center? They can't perform surgery there or something. That's when hospital transfers happen, and as long as you don't live in the middle of nowhere, what's the difference between a transfer from a birth center and a transfer from home? They make it seem like birthing at home, you're not monitored at all, but in reality, the same type of monitoring is used at home as would be in a birth center (intermittent monitoring via doppler).
ACOG acknowledges a woman's right to make informed decisions regarding her delivery and to have a choice in choosing her health care provider, but ACOG does not support programs that advocate for, or individuals who provide, home births. Nor does ACOG support the provision of care by midwives who are not certified by the American College of Nurse-Midwives (ACNM) or the American Midwifery Certification Board (AMCB).
Wait up a minute here ACOG... So you support Certified Nurse Midwives, but not people who provide homebirth services? You do realize that's quite a contradiction in a lot of states, right?
Childbirth decisions should not be dictated or influenced by what's fashionable, trendy, or the latest cause célèbre. Despite the rosy picture painted by home birth advocates, a seemingly normal labor and delivery can quickly become life-threatening for both the mother and baby. Attempting a vaginal birth after cesarean (VBAC) at home is especially dangerous because if the uterus ruptures during labor, both the mother and baby face an emergency situation with potentially catastrophic consequences, including death. Unless a woman is in a hospital, an accredited freestanding birthing center, or a birthing center within a hospital complex, with physicians ready to intervene quickly if necessary, she puts herself and her baby's health and life at unnecessary risk.
You're right. Birth should not be influenced by what's trendy. That's why I won't be having an induction, or a c-section, or bringing my son or daughter into the world in one of the oh-so-pretty birthing rooms at Las Palmas that all my friends are googly eyed over. Anyone who think homebirth is something to do because it's trendy is crazy. Less than 1% of American moms do it. It's hardly this year's Ugg boots.
And again, I reiterate, what on earth would they do in a freestanding birth center, that they cannot do at home? Just because you go somewhere to give birth does not automatically make it safer. (And FYI, a birth center in a hospital complex is a vile alternative for anyone who doesn't want a hospital birth. Most even LOOK like hospital rooms, and hospital policy reigns. Go freestanding if you go birth center unless you like hospital births.)
Advocates cite the high US cesarean rate as one justification for promoting home births. The cesarean delivery rate has concerned ACOG for the past several decades and ACOG remains committed to reducing it, but there is no scientific way to recommend an 'ideal' national cesarean rate as a target goal. In 2000, ACOG issued its Task Force Report Evaluation of Cesarean Delivery to assist physicians and institutions in assessing and reducing, if necessary, their cesarean delivery rates. Multiple factors are responsible for the current cesarean rate, but emerging contributors include maternal choice and the rising tide of high-risk pregnancies due to maternal age, overweight, obesity and diabetes.
It's concerned ACOG? Well, then why has absolutely nothing been done about it? And yes, you CAN set a goal for how much you want to bring it down to. The World Health Organization did it years ago, and with great effectiveness. In fact, adoption of their standards would serve a lot of people.
The availability of an obstetrician-gynecologist to provide expertise and intervention in an emergency during labor and/or delivery may be life-saving for the mother or newborn and lower the likelihood of a bad outcome. ACOG believes that the safest setting for labor, delivery, and the immediate postpartum period is in the hospital, or a birthing center within a hospital complex, that meets the standards jointly outlined by the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and ACOG, or in a freestanding birthing center that meets the standards of the Accreditation Association for Ambulatory Health Care, The Joint Commission, or the American Association of Birth Centers.
If having an OB/GYN on hand lowers the likelihood of a bad outcome, then why does every birth center and homebirth midwife have such better outcomes on the whole than the hospitals? It's not to say bad stuff doesn't happen sometimes. It does, but in studies which are actually fair (as in, they only count PLANNED homebirths that have a midwife present, and the baby is full term when born) homebirth has better outcomes than hospital birth. No baby ever caught a drug-resistant superbug from being born at home. No baby or mom ever died of a Cytotech labor induction at home. No mom ever lost her uterus due to a botched unnecessary c-section at home. And again, WHAT would they do for problems that arise at a birth center, that they can't do at home? Have these people ever been to a birth center before?
It should be emphasized that studies comparing the safety and outcome of births in hospitals with those occurring in other settings in the US are limited and have not been scientifically rigorous. Moreover, lay or other midwives attending to home births are unable to perform live-saving emergency cesarean deliveries and other surgical and medical procedures that would best safeguard the mother and child.
Um, no midwife can do a c-section or surgical procedure, not even ACOG's approved CNM's. That's where hospital transfers come in... you know, exactly the same thing that would happen during a birth center delivery that went wrong. And if it hasn't been studied rigorously, then why do you people seem to know enough to make bold statements like this one?
ACOG encourages all pregnant women to get prenatal care and to make a birth plan. The main goal should be a healthy and safe outcome for both mother and baby. Choosing to deliver a baby at home, however, is to place the process of giving birth over the goal of having a healthy baby. For women who choose a midwife to help deliver their baby, it is critical that they choose only ACNM-certified or AMCB-certified midwives that collaborate with a physician to deliver their baby in a hospital, hospital-based birthing center, or properly accredited freestanding birth center.
Yes, a healthy safe outcome for mother and baby. Is that what they call c-sections, which up the risk of death for both by 400%? Is that what they call inductions, which up the risk of uterine rupture? Having a baby at home most certainly does not place the process over the outcome. It actually spares the mom and baby in question from some pretty serious dangers that lurk around every corner of today's US hospitals.Oh, and I particularly love the guideline to choose a midwife who's nothing more than some OB's sock puppet. These are the CNM's who induce people all the time, and tell you that you need to have your baby by 40 weeks, and basically are no better than an OB. There are some great CNM's in this world, and I should know, but the ones ACOG is recommending are not them.
So yeah, like I said, this whole statement was a gigantic crock, but it did explain a lot. The mainstream people trust ACOG for their guidelines, and they literally come out and say that going anywhere, no matter where that is, to give birth, is safer than doing it at home.
Now, how do we debunk this crap?
It's really for the baby, but Orren likes it, too.
A brand I'd never heard of, which closely resembles a brand that was very well loved but recently went out of business, was having a huge sale on slings, so I scored one for like 75% off. It's a nice style of sling for a desert mom like me. It's cotton, and not all thick and stuff, so it's not too hot. The prints they had were nice. I picked a turquoise one, good for a boy or a girl, and a color I would wear anyway.
Our sling came today, and I decided to give it a try with Orren. It's really for the baby, of course, but Orren LOVED it. He cried when he had to get out! It's really ergonomic. It's my first pouch sling, and WAY better than ring slings I've tried in the past. I didn't like any of the popular ring slings, but pouch slings are different. They're simpler, cooler, and there's less to them, so I don't think a small baby would get lost in them as easily. I don't know, but that's my guess. I know a 30 pound toddler does well in it!
I bought a sling since it will come in handy for when we go grocery shopping and stuff. Orren rides really well in the cart, but I'm going to need some way to carry the baby, too, and I think it's a pretty obvious solution to just use a sling or a mei tai. (By the way, if any generous person is very stumped on the perfect gift for me or the baby, this mei tai will definitely be well received. No takers? Oh well. It was worth a shot! HAHA!)
OK, so here's a picture. I look HUGE in it. These jeans are really baggy, and the picture angle isn't great, so that's why. I've gained weight, but not as much as it looks like here. Oh, but also of note, Thak finally pulled the weeds in the yard, so take in the clean yard in the picture, too. I thought it was nice, and isn't our new sling pretty?
Our sling came today, and I decided to give it a try with Orren. It's really for the baby, of course, but Orren LOVED it. He cried when he had to get out! It's really ergonomic. It's my first pouch sling, and WAY better than ring slings I've tried in the past. I didn't like any of the popular ring slings, but pouch slings are different. They're simpler, cooler, and there's less to them, so I don't think a small baby would get lost in them as easily. I don't know, but that's my guess. I know a 30 pound toddler does well in it!
I bought a sling since it will come in handy for when we go grocery shopping and stuff. Orren rides really well in the cart, but I'm going to need some way to carry the baby, too, and I think it's a pretty obvious solution to just use a sling or a mei tai. (By the way, if any generous person is very stumped on the perfect gift for me or the baby, this mei tai will definitely be well received. No takers? Oh well. It was worth a shot! HAHA!)
OK, so here's a picture. I look HUGE in it. These jeans are really baggy, and the picture angle isn't great, so that's why. I've gained weight, but not as much as it looks like here. Oh, but also of note, Thak finally pulled the weeds in the yard, so take in the clean yard in the picture, too. I thought it was nice, and isn't our new sling pretty?
Friday, November 19, 2010
Oh crap. I forgot about that part.
I have an appointment scheduled with the OB for next week. I knew I wouldn't be going to it, since I got my labs done last time, and that's all I was there for, but I let them schedule it anyhow because they still hadn't submitted the labs, and I wanted the results all in one file when I asked for it to be transferred to Casa. I put it out of my mind for a few weeks, and just rocked along, but now I have to deal with these people again... ugh... They're not mean but they're scary because they're so clueless, and clueless people say really stupid things when you tell them you're transferring because you don't want a hospital birth.
I probably should call today, but I'll give myself through the weekend, and do it on Monday. I hope they don't give me any hell about transferring my records. I'll give them the Casa fax number, and hope for the best. I'll be so glad when it's behind me. It was easy when it was an Army hospital I was transferring out of. It's common, and people do it for all kinds of reasons. Firing your civilian doc is way more awkward! Monday. I have to do it Monday. If I don't, I'll get charged $20 for no-showing for my appointment, and I really don't feel like paying the Queen of Interventions any more than I absolutely have to.
I probably should call today, but I'll give myself through the weekend, and do it on Monday. I hope they don't give me any hell about transferring my records. I'll give them the Casa fax number, and hope for the best. I'll be so glad when it's behind me. It was easy when it was an Army hospital I was transferring out of. It's common, and people do it for all kinds of reasons. Firing your civilian doc is way more awkward! Monday. I have to do it Monday. If I don't, I'll get charged $20 for no-showing for my appointment, and I really don't feel like paying the Queen of Interventions any more than I absolutely have to.
San Fransisco Circumcision Ban... GENIUS!
If you haven't heard about San Fransisco's proposed circumcision ban, read this.
I think this idea is genius. I know there's not a chance in the world that it will pass and become a law, but just proposing it is brilliant because it's got people talking about an issue that's so important, and so overlooked most of the time. It is also flushing out a lot of ignorance that's really rampant in our society, and allowing the myths to be debunked on a national stage.
I know as well as anyone what a confusing topic this can be. When I was pregnant with Erin, I had to make this decision just in case the ultrasound was wrong and she turned out to be a boy. At first when my midwife asked me if I wanted to circ if the baby was a boy, I said, "Um, I guess? I don't know. Do I really have to make a decision right now?" and she said no, but I needed to make a final decision before 38 weeks. Fair enough. I knew NOTHING about this topic, beyond that a lot of people do it, so I assumed it couldn't be harmful, although I wasn't sure why people did it. Funny enough, just a week later, my aunt called and asked out of the blue, if this baby turned out to be a boy, would I circ. I said I didn't know. She told me it's totally unnecessary, that she never did it to her son and it was never a problem, and that I seriously needed to do my homework before making a decision. Fair enough! I googled, and googled, and googled some more. I read the World Health Organization's publications on it, the British Journal of Medicine, the American Academy of Pediatrics' wishy-washy crap, and NOCIRC.org, among many others. I'm not sure at what point I stopped researching as a way to make my decision, and continued out of morbid curiosity, but by the end of a couple weeks, I knew it was wrong to cut babies, and I'd never do that to any child of mine. Erin was, in fact, born a girl, so it didn't become an issue that time. I still like knowing that even if she had been a boy, she would have been spared. I can't tell you how many moms I know who circ'd their oldest out of ignorance because they learned better too late for him. I feel lucky that that wouldn't have been me, no matter what, although it was a pretty close call.
Having been through that, I know that it's confusing for parents. I also think the American Academy of Pediatrics is idiotic for giving parents absolutely zero guidance on this thing. No medical association in the entire world recommends it, but ours goes and takes a wishy-washy stance that literally says "parents should decide what they want for their son", and people end up cutting babies for the dumbest reasons ever.
Since the article I linked above might even be confusing, I want to do my part in expanding this national stage to my corner of the world, and debunk some myths and commonly held misconceptions (those in the article, and others I hear a lot):
-Circumcision does not prevent the transmission of any STD, including AIDS. Condoms do. Relying on circumcision for STD prevention is like relying on Mountain Dew for birth control. If you want your kids to be safe from that stuff, teaching them about safe sex will be a whole lot more effective than hacking off a body part.
-Complications for intact boys are rare, and many things are perceived to be complications that are actually a normal part of the natural separation process in which the foreskin becomes retractable. Cutting it off isn't the solution. Proper care (which usually amounts to "leave it alone") is. It is very important to find an intact-friendly pediatrician, and especially to avoid forced retraction at all costs.
-It doesn't matter if a boy looks like his father in that way. A lot of guys don't even remember if their dad is/was intact or not. In the rare case that a son will notice the difference, it's really easy to explain that people used to think it was good to cut part of it off, and now we know better. Every person I know of who's ever had this conversation with their son has said he has thanked them for not cutting him. Plus, seriously, of all the ways a father and son can be alike, why would you want to focus on a way in which nobody will ever compare them? Buy them matching football jerseys or something. Cutting a baby is not the answer.
-His future wife will NOT thank you for having him circumcised. (Can I just say, it nearly makes me gag when people say this?) I'm sorry, people, but I'm going there. What woman would actually thank someone for hacking a piece of her husband's penis off without his consent? I mean, doesn't that kind of go against everything we know about common sense?
-He will not be made fun of in the locker room. I know some grown up intact guys who come from a tiny town with a 100% circ rate minus them. Both of these guys played every varsity sport imaginable, so they spent more time in the locker room than your average person. Would you like to know how many times they were both made fun of for being intact? None. For being the only non-white students in town, they were made fun of a lot, but never once for being intact. If it didn't happen in that backward place, in the 80's and 90's, then it is surely not a worry today. Plus, with circ rates falling every year, intact boys will be the majority in most places by the time our sons hit school. In fact where I live, in El Paso, nobody circ's other than military people (I say Tricare needs to stop paying for it just like Medicaid has in a lot of states, and a lot of private insurance companies, too.) A circumcised boy in a place like El Paso, or San Fransisco, or LA, or Portland, or Miami, will be the odd one out in the locker room. He won't be made fun of, but he will be the odd one out. Cutting for conformity does not work when the majority are not cutting.
The bottom line is that this is not a good thing to do to babies. It's purely cosmetic, and a baby can't consent to it. Would you give your newborn a nose job? Of course not. So why would anyone do this? It's irreversible, unnecessary, and painful. If your religion calls for it, why not let your son figure out for himself if he even wants to be of that religion before cutting off a piece of his body in the name of a faith he did not choose? Even Jews are catching onto this, with many now performing a Bris Shalom, which is a naming party with no cutting. It's going out of style to cut babies, and for good reason. There's no reason why our sons should not have the same rights as their sisters, to keep the whole perfect body they were born with. He can always choose to cut as an adult, but he can't choose to put it back on if you take the choice away from him by cutting him as a baby.
I always say, if I did it to my daughter, I would go to jail. If I did it to my dog in the same manner as it is done to little boys in US hospitals (Strapped to a board, no or very inadequate pain relief) I would go to jail. Yet if I did it to my son, people would call it parental choice. Why do we staunchly guard little girls, and even animals, but see little boys as fair game? It's not ok. Parental choice? What about the person who owns the body? What about his choice? My son's body does not belong to me. It belongs ONLY to him. I protect HIS rights by keeping him whole. My right to choose ends with his body. Babies are full fledged human beings with a full quota of human rights. How did so many in our country forget that?
Thanks, San Fransisco intactivists, for bringing something so important, a human rights violation dismissed as parental choice, to a national stage. If just one parent decides to learn more, and spare their son this injustice, it's all been worthwhile to that one. Somehow, I think that a lot more than one has been spared by now, though. Keep spreading the word. Information is the cure.
I think this idea is genius. I know there's not a chance in the world that it will pass and become a law, but just proposing it is brilliant because it's got people talking about an issue that's so important, and so overlooked most of the time. It is also flushing out a lot of ignorance that's really rampant in our society, and allowing the myths to be debunked on a national stage.
I know as well as anyone what a confusing topic this can be. When I was pregnant with Erin, I had to make this decision just in case the ultrasound was wrong and she turned out to be a boy. At first when my midwife asked me if I wanted to circ if the baby was a boy, I said, "Um, I guess? I don't know. Do I really have to make a decision right now?" and she said no, but I needed to make a final decision before 38 weeks. Fair enough. I knew NOTHING about this topic, beyond that a lot of people do it, so I assumed it couldn't be harmful, although I wasn't sure why people did it. Funny enough, just a week later, my aunt called and asked out of the blue, if this baby turned out to be a boy, would I circ. I said I didn't know. She told me it's totally unnecessary, that she never did it to her son and it was never a problem, and that I seriously needed to do my homework before making a decision. Fair enough! I googled, and googled, and googled some more. I read the World Health Organization's publications on it, the British Journal of Medicine, the American Academy of Pediatrics' wishy-washy crap, and NOCIRC.org, among many others. I'm not sure at what point I stopped researching as a way to make my decision, and continued out of morbid curiosity, but by the end of a couple weeks, I knew it was wrong to cut babies, and I'd never do that to any child of mine. Erin was, in fact, born a girl, so it didn't become an issue that time. I still like knowing that even if she had been a boy, she would have been spared. I can't tell you how many moms I know who circ'd their oldest out of ignorance because they learned better too late for him. I feel lucky that that wouldn't have been me, no matter what, although it was a pretty close call.
Having been through that, I know that it's confusing for parents. I also think the American Academy of Pediatrics is idiotic for giving parents absolutely zero guidance on this thing. No medical association in the entire world recommends it, but ours goes and takes a wishy-washy stance that literally says "parents should decide what they want for their son", and people end up cutting babies for the dumbest reasons ever.
Since the article I linked above might even be confusing, I want to do my part in expanding this national stage to my corner of the world, and debunk some myths and commonly held misconceptions (those in the article, and others I hear a lot):
-Circumcision does not prevent the transmission of any STD, including AIDS. Condoms do. Relying on circumcision for STD prevention is like relying on Mountain Dew for birth control. If you want your kids to be safe from that stuff, teaching them about safe sex will be a whole lot more effective than hacking off a body part.
-Complications for intact boys are rare, and many things are perceived to be complications that are actually a normal part of the natural separation process in which the foreskin becomes retractable. Cutting it off isn't the solution. Proper care (which usually amounts to "leave it alone") is. It is very important to find an intact-friendly pediatrician, and especially to avoid forced retraction at all costs.
-It doesn't matter if a boy looks like his father in that way. A lot of guys don't even remember if their dad is/was intact or not. In the rare case that a son will notice the difference, it's really easy to explain that people used to think it was good to cut part of it off, and now we know better. Every person I know of who's ever had this conversation with their son has said he has thanked them for not cutting him. Plus, seriously, of all the ways a father and son can be alike, why would you want to focus on a way in which nobody will ever compare them? Buy them matching football jerseys or something. Cutting a baby is not the answer.
-His future wife will NOT thank you for having him circumcised. (Can I just say, it nearly makes me gag when people say this?) I'm sorry, people, but I'm going there. What woman would actually thank someone for hacking a piece of her husband's penis off without his consent? I mean, doesn't that kind of go against everything we know about common sense?
-He will not be made fun of in the locker room. I know some grown up intact guys who come from a tiny town with a 100% circ rate minus them. Both of these guys played every varsity sport imaginable, so they spent more time in the locker room than your average person. Would you like to know how many times they were both made fun of for being intact? None. For being the only non-white students in town, they were made fun of a lot, but never once for being intact. If it didn't happen in that backward place, in the 80's and 90's, then it is surely not a worry today. Plus, with circ rates falling every year, intact boys will be the majority in most places by the time our sons hit school. In fact where I live, in El Paso, nobody circ's other than military people (I say Tricare needs to stop paying for it just like Medicaid has in a lot of states, and a lot of private insurance companies, too.) A circumcised boy in a place like El Paso, or San Fransisco, or LA, or Portland, or Miami, will be the odd one out in the locker room. He won't be made fun of, but he will be the odd one out. Cutting for conformity does not work when the majority are not cutting.
The bottom line is that this is not a good thing to do to babies. It's purely cosmetic, and a baby can't consent to it. Would you give your newborn a nose job? Of course not. So why would anyone do this? It's irreversible, unnecessary, and painful. If your religion calls for it, why not let your son figure out for himself if he even wants to be of that religion before cutting off a piece of his body in the name of a faith he did not choose? Even Jews are catching onto this, with many now performing a Bris Shalom, which is a naming party with no cutting. It's going out of style to cut babies, and for good reason. There's no reason why our sons should not have the same rights as their sisters, to keep the whole perfect body they were born with. He can always choose to cut as an adult, but he can't choose to put it back on if you take the choice away from him by cutting him as a baby.
I always say, if I did it to my daughter, I would go to jail. If I did it to my dog in the same manner as it is done to little boys in US hospitals (Strapped to a board, no or very inadequate pain relief) I would go to jail. Yet if I did it to my son, people would call it parental choice. Why do we staunchly guard little girls, and even animals, but see little boys as fair game? It's not ok. Parental choice? What about the person who owns the body? What about his choice? My son's body does not belong to me. It belongs ONLY to him. I protect HIS rights by keeping him whole. My right to choose ends with his body. Babies are full fledged human beings with a full quota of human rights. How did so many in our country forget that?
Thanks, San Fransisco intactivists, for bringing something so important, a human rights violation dismissed as parental choice, to a national stage. If just one parent decides to learn more, and spare their son this injustice, it's all been worthwhile to that one. Somehow, I think that a lot more than one has been spared by now, though. Keep spreading the word. Information is the cure.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
The Christmas/Birthday shopping so far...
We are NOT doing Black Friday. We never do. I swear people are animals that day... although we are looking for a flat TV, and Target has some amazing Black Friday deals on the, so it's tempting this year, we still are not doing Black Friday. Cyber Monday is a definite possibility, though. (Cyber Monday is the online equivalent of Black Friday, except that you don't have to leave your house at 11 pm just to stand in a line to get into a store in time for the doorbuster sales at 7 am the following morning.)
Anyhow, so how are we doing? Well... not as great as I had hoped to be, but not horrible, and probably will be doing even better still by the end of the week.
For Orren's birthday, we have the Early Rider balance bike. I still need to get him a helmet and a set of knee and elbow pads, but they seem not to sell any in his size that aren't hopelessly lame looking, so the search continues.
For Orren's Christmas, we picked him up a pillow pet at the mall the other day. OK, so it's a knockoff pillow pet made in Juarez, but it looks exactly the same as the ones they sell for twice the price on TV, and he'll love it. He's always taking Erin's pillow pet, so we knew he'd love one of his own.
For Erin's Christmas, I just bought her a Hello Kitty scooter on Amazon. She mentioned that she wanted a scooter with two wheels (and really, that 3-wheel scooter she has, is getting way too small for her. Orren uses it more than she does these days.) so I thought the Hello Kitty one was perfect for her. It's a Razor scooter, too, so it's really good quality. The price was great.
We've still got to get her Nintendo DS, and there's a possibility we'll do that within the week as well. That's really the only major expensive thing we've still got to get. The other stuff is all $50 or less, so not too big a deal.
We won't find out anything on how much we'll get in gift cards from Heroes at Home until a couple weeks from now, so for now, we're going ahead and banking on 0 just to be on the safe side. We're sure it will be more than 0, but we're not holding out for it or anything, because that wouldn't be wise.
I can't believe we've only got a few days until Thanksgiving, and then after that, Christmas will be less than a month away. I don't care about Christmas really... I just about never have. It's Orren's birthday, though. I can't believe my little boy is going to be 2 years old! It's not fair! He's supposed to be a baby and now he's all big and ready for a balance bike and stuff.
I hope the kids have a good Christmas this year. I'm sure they will.
Anyhow, so how are we doing? Well... not as great as I had hoped to be, but not horrible, and probably will be doing even better still by the end of the week.
For Orren's birthday, we have the Early Rider balance bike. I still need to get him a helmet and a set of knee and elbow pads, but they seem not to sell any in his size that aren't hopelessly lame looking, so the search continues.
For Orren's Christmas, we picked him up a pillow pet at the mall the other day. OK, so it's a knockoff pillow pet made in Juarez, but it looks exactly the same as the ones they sell for twice the price on TV, and he'll love it. He's always taking Erin's pillow pet, so we knew he'd love one of his own.
For Erin's Christmas, I just bought her a Hello Kitty scooter on Amazon. She mentioned that she wanted a scooter with two wheels (and really, that 3-wheel scooter she has, is getting way too small for her. Orren uses it more than she does these days.) so I thought the Hello Kitty one was perfect for her. It's a Razor scooter, too, so it's really good quality. The price was great.
We've still got to get her Nintendo DS, and there's a possibility we'll do that within the week as well. That's really the only major expensive thing we've still got to get. The other stuff is all $50 or less, so not too big a deal.
We won't find out anything on how much we'll get in gift cards from Heroes at Home until a couple weeks from now, so for now, we're going ahead and banking on 0 just to be on the safe side. We're sure it will be more than 0, but we're not holding out for it or anything, because that wouldn't be wise.
I can't believe we've only got a few days until Thanksgiving, and then after that, Christmas will be less than a month away. I don't care about Christmas really... I just about never have. It's Orren's birthday, though. I can't believe my little boy is going to be 2 years old! It's not fair! He's supposed to be a baby and now he's all big and ready for a balance bike and stuff.
I hope the kids have a good Christmas this year. I'm sure they will.
The twos are not terrible.
With Orren's second birthday approaching (way too freaking) fast, I'm getting a lot of comments about "the terrible twos". When I say I don't think the twos are terrible, people always laugh and say, "Oh, just wait!" (Why does everyone forget I have two kids? I've been through this before.) I think that those who see two-year-old antics as terrible, are a great study in missing the point. I'll explain.
What does every human being want in life? Think beyond food, water, shelter, and love. They all want to be heard, to be understood, to have someone totally get it. This is true whether you're a tiny little baby, or whether you're in your 20's, or whether you're 100 years old. It doesn't matter how old the human in question is, every human being wants to be heard and understood. When kids are about Orren's age, they're just learning to express themselves, but can't quite reason yet, so they want what they want when they want it, and are actually really good at telling their parents what it is that they want. They just don't quite understand why they can't have it. This, of course, results in some pretty epic fits. Trust me, Orren can pitch a fit with the best of them, so I'm not speaking as someone who's just got an easy toddler, and doesn't understand. I absolutely do understand how it is to deal with a toddler tantrum. I've found one thing that works really well to cut down on them, though.
Before he gets to the point of a full-blown tantrum, I talk to him. I say, for example, "Orren, I know you really wanted to go for a ride in the stroller, but we have to go to the grocery store and buy food. You can ride in the cart when we get there, and help pick out the lemons. Is that cool?" By this time, he's looking slightly less heartbroken, but still wants to go for a stroller ride. He's climbing into the stroller, and saying "Ride? Please? Mommy? Ride?" and I just say, "We'll have to do that when we get home, Orren. It's time to go to the store now." Then I pick him up and he usually cries, and I tell him that I'm sorry that he's sad, but we'll take a ride later. It really does lessen the tantrums when compared with the times we haven't taken the time to make sure he knows he's been heard. Might I add that follow through is incredibly important if you use this method. He has to get his stroller ride immediately when you get home from the store if that's what you promised. That way he knows you mean it when you tell him he can have what he wants later. By the way, this incident happened this morning. It really does work.
Something that I come to a lot is that people don't quite think of babies and toddlers as full fledged human beings. Even though they may not understand everything, they understand a lot, and I think a lot of the tantrums that toddlers have can actually be avoided if the parents will just hear the kid out and acknowledge what he's telling them, before it gets to that point. Of course rules and boundaries always have to be set and observed consistently, but this can fall in nicely with teaching those things, too. Understand WHY the kid wants to play in the window blinds, or pull the dog's ears, or eat nothing but bananas. Acknowledge it. Then correct, but positively. We try to keep "no" for times when it's a safety issue, like "NO! The stove is hot! Don't touch!" or "NO! Stay out of the street!" When it's not a safety issue, we tell him what he can do instead, and find that to be a lot more effective. Plus, when we do say no, he takes it more seriously because he doesn't hear it a million times a day.
I actually like this age. For one thing, he's adorable. Really, does it get much cuter than a young toddler? They dance, and sing, and say the cutest little things. There is absolutely nothing terrible about my son, or any other kid this age, in all fairness. I have seen some real parenting fails in the past, and the result is 2-year-olds who do things like empty the refrigerator, destroy the house, and terrorize the pets, screaming all the while. I have an active little boy, but we even manage to avoid this stuff by actually giving him what he needs (and part of that is parents who are consistent). It really is up to the parent what kind of 2-year-old experience they will have. Choose to listen to your toddler and actually hear what they're trying to tell you, and you will never regret it.
What does every human being want in life? Think beyond food, water, shelter, and love. They all want to be heard, to be understood, to have someone totally get it. This is true whether you're a tiny little baby, or whether you're in your 20's, or whether you're 100 years old. It doesn't matter how old the human in question is, every human being wants to be heard and understood. When kids are about Orren's age, they're just learning to express themselves, but can't quite reason yet, so they want what they want when they want it, and are actually really good at telling their parents what it is that they want. They just don't quite understand why they can't have it. This, of course, results in some pretty epic fits. Trust me, Orren can pitch a fit with the best of them, so I'm not speaking as someone who's just got an easy toddler, and doesn't understand. I absolutely do understand how it is to deal with a toddler tantrum. I've found one thing that works really well to cut down on them, though.
Before he gets to the point of a full-blown tantrum, I talk to him. I say, for example, "Orren, I know you really wanted to go for a ride in the stroller, but we have to go to the grocery store and buy food. You can ride in the cart when we get there, and help pick out the lemons. Is that cool?" By this time, he's looking slightly less heartbroken, but still wants to go for a stroller ride. He's climbing into the stroller, and saying "Ride? Please? Mommy? Ride?" and I just say, "We'll have to do that when we get home, Orren. It's time to go to the store now." Then I pick him up and he usually cries, and I tell him that I'm sorry that he's sad, but we'll take a ride later. It really does lessen the tantrums when compared with the times we haven't taken the time to make sure he knows he's been heard. Might I add that follow through is incredibly important if you use this method. He has to get his stroller ride immediately when you get home from the store if that's what you promised. That way he knows you mean it when you tell him he can have what he wants later. By the way, this incident happened this morning. It really does work.
Something that I come to a lot is that people don't quite think of babies and toddlers as full fledged human beings. Even though they may not understand everything, they understand a lot, and I think a lot of the tantrums that toddlers have can actually be avoided if the parents will just hear the kid out and acknowledge what he's telling them, before it gets to that point. Of course rules and boundaries always have to be set and observed consistently, but this can fall in nicely with teaching those things, too. Understand WHY the kid wants to play in the window blinds, or pull the dog's ears, or eat nothing but bananas. Acknowledge it. Then correct, but positively. We try to keep "no" for times when it's a safety issue, like "NO! The stove is hot! Don't touch!" or "NO! Stay out of the street!" When it's not a safety issue, we tell him what he can do instead, and find that to be a lot more effective. Plus, when we do say no, he takes it more seriously because he doesn't hear it a million times a day.
I actually like this age. For one thing, he's adorable. Really, does it get much cuter than a young toddler? They dance, and sing, and say the cutest little things. There is absolutely nothing terrible about my son, or any other kid this age, in all fairness. I have seen some real parenting fails in the past, and the result is 2-year-olds who do things like empty the refrigerator, destroy the house, and terrorize the pets, screaming all the while. I have an active little boy, but we even manage to avoid this stuff by actually giving him what he needs (and part of that is parents who are consistent). It really is up to the parent what kind of 2-year-old experience they will have. Choose to listen to your toddler and actually hear what they're trying to tell you, and you will never regret it.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
If I tell you that you win, will you stop?
I get the feeling that there's some competition I never got the flier for, to determine who's the biggest hippie in the world, or something. I personally don't feel like competing for this title, but I find that a few people insist on competing with me even though I try to make it pretty clear that I'm not interested.
I mean, really, anyone who would say to another person, "Oh, grass fed beef isn't that good. You should go to the farmers' market and pick up some organic bison.", has pretty much asserted themselves as biggest, most hyper-competitive asshole on the planet. First of all, I live in a very poor city with incredibly low standards when it comes to food. What they call farmers' markets here would be called really bad fruit stands anywhere else. It's horrible, depressing even. The only store in town that sells food I can feel even a little bit good about eating, is 27 miles from my house through the worst traffic ever and a dangerous mountain pass (yes, bullets fly through there sometimes from the Mexico side. You'll notice the bulletproof glass on all the university buildings in the pass now.) I have to get there super early just to get anything I want because it sells out so fast, and I only go every two weeks because of the long trip there, and you know what? They don't sell locally produced organic bison that was mooing yesterday. What they do sell is a few semi-affordable cuts that come from animals that ate real grass and weren't confined to pens, and I don't give a crap that this happened 4 hours away in Lubbock. I really don't. (How would it happen here? We don't have grass!) Would it be better if I bought the stuff that came from the feedlots in that same part of the state? Didn't think so.
The bottom line is I'm doing my best with what I have in the place where Uncle Sam plunked me down this time, and I'm so freaking tired of being told that everything I think is good (and that I went to a real effort to make happen), is really kind of... eh... to the my friends whom I no longer live anywhere near, and have never set foot within 1000 miles of this place. I don't tell you that your gluten-free foods sound nasty (although they do), so stop telling me that my grass fed beef is so last season. I get it. You eat weirder stuff than I do right now. Congratulations.
Here's something else. I like soda. I'm not sorry for it either. I don't drink buckets and buckets of it (my name isn't Thak) but I like it every now and again, and I refuse to think that's going to kill me. Seriously. No, I don't care how much you like the overpriced juice and seltzer mix they sell in the health food store. I like that stuff sometimes, but when I want a coke, I want a goddamned coke, and I don't really need a clip from the documentary Food Inc about how bad it is to drink that. I'm going to bet that even for all your claims of dietary perfection, and your claims of not eating processed food in 20 years, and crap like that, somewhere in there, you've straight-up chowed down on whatever it is that is your vice. Come on, fess up. French fries? Cheetos? McDonald's milk shake? Pepperoni pizza? Everybody's got one. Nobody can live on the purest stuff blessed by magical fairies for their entire life. This is America. Somewhere in there, you've taken a bite or a sip of every junky thing I have. The only difference is that I admit it because I have absolutely nothing to prove to anybody.
I wonder if it's because these people all come from decidedly mainstream roots that they think they have to be "more alternative than thou" to prove their worthiness or something. I don't have that. My family has been organic farming since long before most people even knew what that meant, and I've been eating whatever showed up at the farmers' market for long enough that I still have a hard time making heads or tails of the supermarket produce section. I can do this, AND drink a coke every now and again. I can do it even in a place where I CAN'T hop on down to the farmers' market and pick up some organic bison. This is me. If it's you, you don't need to prove it, so stop, because it's really freaking annoying.
And one more thing. Yes, I'm pregnant. No, I don't feel the need to take ten billion supplements. My midwife and I share the belief that it's better to get nutrients from food, and not rely on synthetic supplements for that. I take prenatal vitamins most days, but not all... it's only really necessary if you didn't eat well. I take calcium because I hate dairy products. I, however, will NOT take the stupid omega 3 supplement you are trying to jam down my throat. You are aware that too much omega 3 increases bleeding risk during birth, right? Why would any pregnant woman, especially one who's going to be birthing at home, take that? I get enough omega 3's through fish and flax meal. Keep your synthetic pills. You are aware that most of the vitamins we take in pill form go right down the toilet, literally, right? Just because you take ten billion milligrams of whatever the magic bullet of today is according to Dr. Mercola or whatever other pop physician you're swooning over this time, does not mean that you absorbed that much. It means you absorbed a fraction of that much, while peeing out the majority of it. If you ate that much of it in food form, you'd absorb more. See? I can form opinions, too.
You win. You're the queen of all things alternative. Now...
Hop. Off. My. Nuts.
[Insert cute graphic of a little squirrel with a nut.]
I mean, really, anyone who would say to another person, "Oh, grass fed beef isn't that good. You should go to the farmers' market and pick up some organic bison.", has pretty much asserted themselves as biggest, most hyper-competitive asshole on the planet. First of all, I live in a very poor city with incredibly low standards when it comes to food. What they call farmers' markets here would be called really bad fruit stands anywhere else. It's horrible, depressing even. The only store in town that sells food I can feel even a little bit good about eating, is 27 miles from my house through the worst traffic ever and a dangerous mountain pass (yes, bullets fly through there sometimes from the Mexico side. You'll notice the bulletproof glass on all the university buildings in the pass now.) I have to get there super early just to get anything I want because it sells out so fast, and I only go every two weeks because of the long trip there, and you know what? They don't sell locally produced organic bison that was mooing yesterday. What they do sell is a few semi-affordable cuts that come from animals that ate real grass and weren't confined to pens, and I don't give a crap that this happened 4 hours away in Lubbock. I really don't. (How would it happen here? We don't have grass!) Would it be better if I bought the stuff that came from the feedlots in that same part of the state? Didn't think so.
The bottom line is I'm doing my best with what I have in the place where Uncle Sam plunked me down this time, and I'm so freaking tired of being told that everything I think is good (and that I went to a real effort to make happen), is really kind of... eh... to the my friends whom I no longer live anywhere near, and have never set foot within 1000 miles of this place. I don't tell you that your gluten-free foods sound nasty (although they do), so stop telling me that my grass fed beef is so last season. I get it. You eat weirder stuff than I do right now. Congratulations.
Here's something else. I like soda. I'm not sorry for it either. I don't drink buckets and buckets of it (my name isn't Thak) but I like it every now and again, and I refuse to think that's going to kill me. Seriously. No, I don't care how much you like the overpriced juice and seltzer mix they sell in the health food store. I like that stuff sometimes, but when I want a coke, I want a goddamned coke, and I don't really need a clip from the documentary Food Inc about how bad it is to drink that. I'm going to bet that even for all your claims of dietary perfection, and your claims of not eating processed food in 20 years, and crap like that, somewhere in there, you've straight-up chowed down on whatever it is that is your vice. Come on, fess up. French fries? Cheetos? McDonald's milk shake? Pepperoni pizza? Everybody's got one. Nobody can live on the purest stuff blessed by magical fairies for their entire life. This is America. Somewhere in there, you've taken a bite or a sip of every junky thing I have. The only difference is that I admit it because I have absolutely nothing to prove to anybody.
I wonder if it's because these people all come from decidedly mainstream roots that they think they have to be "more alternative than thou" to prove their worthiness or something. I don't have that. My family has been organic farming since long before most people even knew what that meant, and I've been eating whatever showed up at the farmers' market for long enough that I still have a hard time making heads or tails of the supermarket produce section. I can do this, AND drink a coke every now and again. I can do it even in a place where I CAN'T hop on down to the farmers' market and pick up some organic bison. This is me. If it's you, you don't need to prove it, so stop, because it's really freaking annoying.
And one more thing. Yes, I'm pregnant. No, I don't feel the need to take ten billion supplements. My midwife and I share the belief that it's better to get nutrients from food, and not rely on synthetic supplements for that. I take prenatal vitamins most days, but not all... it's only really necessary if you didn't eat well. I take calcium because I hate dairy products. I, however, will NOT take the stupid omega 3 supplement you are trying to jam down my throat. You are aware that too much omega 3 increases bleeding risk during birth, right? Why would any pregnant woman, especially one who's going to be birthing at home, take that? I get enough omega 3's through fish and flax meal. Keep your synthetic pills. You are aware that most of the vitamins we take in pill form go right down the toilet, literally, right? Just because you take ten billion milligrams of whatever the magic bullet of today is according to Dr. Mercola or whatever other pop physician you're swooning over this time, does not mean that you absorbed that much. It means you absorbed a fraction of that much, while peeing out the majority of it. If you ate that much of it in food form, you'd absorb more. See? I can form opinions, too.
You win. You're the queen of all things alternative. Now...
Hop. Off. My. Nuts.
[Insert cute graphic of a little squirrel with a nut.]
Let's talk cold weather carseat safety!
It's cold outside! Yes, winter, or at least fall, seems to have even arrived in West Texas, which means it's been in a lot of other places for a long time now, and if it hasn't hit you yet, it probably will within the next month. Winter weather brings on a whole host of issues for carseat safety that are simply not present during other times of the year. A lot of these things never occur to a lot of people, so let's do a quick rundown of them so that everyone remembers.
All kids love wearing their big fluffy winter coats. They should never wear them in the carseat, though. Coats can compress in a car accident and cause a child to be ejected from their carseat straps, and probably from the car itself. Death is the most common outcome of ejections, so literally, putting a thick coat on your child, and strapping them into the car like that, can kill them. So what do you do instead? Put them in something thin, like a sweatshirt, or a fleece pullover from Old Navy, and strap them in, then put the coat on them BACKWARD over the carseat straps. They are warm, and they are safe. You can't beat that. I know what you're thinking.... "But, Anna, it's really damned cold where I live! You don't understand!" Well, I'll just tell you, if I can do it on roof of the Mall of America (in Minneapolis) parking garage, in -30 degree weather with a gale force wind, you can do it wherever you are. Your kid's safety is worth anything.
Now we've all seen the displays at our local baby retailers with the soft and cuddly looking accessories to keep baby warm... From the ever popular Snuzzler to the JJ Cole Bundle Me, there seems to be something for every taste and style. How convenient! Some of these buntings even have a slot for the carseat buckle to pass through! Don't do it!! These things are the same as a big fluffy coat, and can absolutely risk your child's life in a car accident. Not to mention they void the warranty of you carseat should anything go wrong with it. You really don't want to go there. For a small infant, whom these things are designed for anyhow, you can get just as much good out of a set of warm jammies, and then a blanket tucked in around them. There are also "shower cap" style infant seat covers which are great. They go over the top of the carseat and have a hole where you can see the baby's face. They do not interfere with the straps, so they are safe. My carseat, the Peg Perego Primo Viaggio actually came with a winter boot, which we've never used since it's always been too warm for that when we were using the seat, but it a great option for those who live in cold climates. This boot also does not interfere with the straps, and since it came with the carseat, will absolutely not void the warranty.
Also, it's important to remember that while the car is cold when you first get in, forward-facing your toddler before you have to just so they can feel the heater a couple seconds sooner is still not a cool thing to do. With winter driving hazards, it's more important than ever to keep them rear-facing as long as you can. They're 5x safer that way no matter what time of year it is, so keep up the good fight. Bundle them up with blankets (OVER the carseat straps), put their coat on them backward, and tilt those vents toward the ceiling so the air bounces down at the rear-facing passenger. Plus, the car warms up so fast anyhow... Another alternative is to start the car before you put the kids in it so it's already less cold when you go. Forward-facing is not the answer.
Have a safe holiday season, everyone! Keep them rear-facing, keep them safe, and no big bulky stuff between them and the straps! Avoid that ice on the roads, and arrive safely wherever you go. :-)
All kids love wearing their big fluffy winter coats. They should never wear them in the carseat, though. Coats can compress in a car accident and cause a child to be ejected from their carseat straps, and probably from the car itself. Death is the most common outcome of ejections, so literally, putting a thick coat on your child, and strapping them into the car like that, can kill them. So what do you do instead? Put them in something thin, like a sweatshirt, or a fleece pullover from Old Navy, and strap them in, then put the coat on them BACKWARD over the carseat straps. They are warm, and they are safe. You can't beat that. I know what you're thinking.... "But, Anna, it's really damned cold where I live! You don't understand!" Well, I'll just tell you, if I can do it on roof of the Mall of America (in Minneapolis) parking garage, in -30 degree weather with a gale force wind, you can do it wherever you are. Your kid's safety is worth anything.
Now we've all seen the displays at our local baby retailers with the soft and cuddly looking accessories to keep baby warm... From the ever popular Snuzzler to the JJ Cole Bundle Me, there seems to be something for every taste and style. How convenient! Some of these buntings even have a slot for the carseat buckle to pass through! Don't do it!! These things are the same as a big fluffy coat, and can absolutely risk your child's life in a car accident. Not to mention they void the warranty of you carseat should anything go wrong with it. You really don't want to go there. For a small infant, whom these things are designed for anyhow, you can get just as much good out of a set of warm jammies, and then a blanket tucked in around them. There are also "shower cap" style infant seat covers which are great. They go over the top of the carseat and have a hole where you can see the baby's face. They do not interfere with the straps, so they are safe. My carseat, the Peg Perego Primo Viaggio actually came with a winter boot, which we've never used since it's always been too warm for that when we were using the seat, but it a great option for those who live in cold climates. This boot also does not interfere with the straps, and since it came with the carseat, will absolutely not void the warranty.
Also, it's important to remember that while the car is cold when you first get in, forward-facing your toddler before you have to just so they can feel the heater a couple seconds sooner is still not a cool thing to do. With winter driving hazards, it's more important than ever to keep them rear-facing as long as you can. They're 5x safer that way no matter what time of year it is, so keep up the good fight. Bundle them up with blankets (OVER the carseat straps), put their coat on them backward, and tilt those vents toward the ceiling so the air bounces down at the rear-facing passenger. Plus, the car warms up so fast anyhow... Another alternative is to start the car before you put the kids in it so it's already less cold when you go. Forward-facing is not the answer.
Have a safe holiday season, everyone! Keep them rear-facing, keep them safe, and no big bulky stuff between them and the straps! Avoid that ice on the roads, and arrive safely wherever you go. :-)
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