Vanity sizing, we meet again.

When I'm not pregnant, I can find clothes that fit. It's not as easy as it would be if I were roughly 3-4" shorter than I am and weighed roughly 20 pounds more than I do, but it's definitely feasible. I know my brands, and I know what fits. Not many make a long length in a size 2, but a few do, and lucky for me, their stuff is nice... not at all cheap, but nice (so thankfully I can wear the same pair of jeans for several years. You get your money's worth one way or another, I guess.)

When pregnant, it's a different story. I can't afford designer maternity clothes. They would fit me great, but I can't afford them. If we went to a military ball sometime within the next few months (which is supremely unlikely. I've sort of come to terms with the fact that I'm just not one of those wives who gets taken to the ball.), I would buy a designer maternity dress for that, but for everyday wear, I cannot afford designer maternity clothes. I want something that is pretty good (won't rip up in the wash or something) but priced reasonably enough that I can buy more than one outfit, and I really want it to fit. However, for the most part, I am absolutely out of luck when it comes to that.

I have my maternity clothes leftover from when I was pregnant with Orren, but it's mostly warm weather stuff. It was really warm that winter in Georgia, so I didn't buy any long sleeve tops (I just wore a jacket over my tanks and t's) and I only had like two pairs of jeans, which I rarely wore because they were too short. Here, it's too cold for that already, and we still have a whole winter and half the fall to go. It will likely snow before it's said and done, and we will see a lot of days that don't get above 30. The winter in the desert is harsher than a lot of people give it credit for, so I have to have warm clothes. I also don't like wearing high-waters, so I needed some pants that weren't too short.

There is ONE reasonably priced maternity clothes brand that sells my size in a long length, and that is Liz Lange for Target. The problem is that they NEVER have that in stores. You have to order online. I suppose it's my own fault for getting impatient, and wanting some jeans NOW and also not totally loving the waistbands on the Liz Lange pants (I have two pairs of them already, and the waistbands aren't that comfortable), we set off for the mall to see how I did at Motherhood Maternity. I bought some of my stuff there last time, and while I found their sizing kind of a pain (they only do S-M-L-XL), and their Small was a little too big for me at first, I love their waistbands, and I thought I'd just go ahead and try my luck.

I found a couple tops that are good, a sweater in a pretty mulberry color, and a sweater coat in chocolate brown. I found a pair of skinny jeans from Heidi Klum's maternity line, which I bought to go with the boots I bought with a Macy's gift card I got for my birthday (thanks, mom and dad!) I also found a really cute pair of jeans on the sale rack alongside the mulberry colored sweater that I bought, and they seemed long enough! (I wasn't concerned with the length of the skinny jeans since they'll be worn under boots anyhow.) Score! I bought them along with the rest. I didn't try anything on. I figured I already had stuff in that brand, and a Small fit me fine, so I would be fine again.

When I got home, I put on my skinny jeans with a lightweight purple sweater I have already (I got it at Target. They have cute tops anyhow...) They fit great, so I was really happy with that. This morning, I put on the other jeans and the mulberry colored sweater. The sweater is great. The jeans, on the other hand, are ENORMOUS!! What the hell, dude?!! A Small SHOULD be a 0-2. In reality, I would expect it to be about a 4. These are probably about an 8. I'm swimming in them. Yeah, the waistband is super comfortable, and they're cute, but holy crap, even maternity clothes get more and more vanity sized by the year! This size in this brand fit me at least ok just two years ago. I put these jeans up next to some of my shorts in this same brand and same size, and they are noticeably bigger. It's such bullshit!

I hear all the time about how hard it is to be plus sized and pregnant, how you can't find anything to wear. Well, from where I sit, it seems like they ONLY cater to the big girls. Plus sizes start at what? A 12? If a Small is about an 8 in some brands these days, plus sized girls should be fine in a Medium or a Large! What about those of us who start out pregnancy at a healthy weight, though? Are the maternity clothing companies trying to level the playing field? The fat girls get chewed out by their midwives or doctors, and sometimes get turned down for non-hospital birthing options, but we don't, so now they'll just give them something to wear while we scramble and swim in our clothing for 9 months or longer? OK, so I'm not very good at making up conspiracy theories! It sounded good at the time...

Here are my ideas for how to make it better:

1) No more S-M-L-XL sizing for pants. It's fine for shirts, but for pants, offer regular sizes, just with the maternity waistband. Women come in like dozens of sizes when not pregnant. Why would we come in only 4 sizes while pregnant?

2) Offer all sizes in a selection of lengths, at least regular and long. (Short people can always hem it. I can't tack on extra length. I'm not hating on the short folks. It's a fact of life that things can always be taken up, but hardly ever increased in length.)

3) Make waistbands very comfortable in all brands. The really thick ones aren't comfy. Plus, any midwife on the planet will tell you that it's bad to wear things that are constricting to the baby. That's one reason I could not wear my jeans when I got farther than about 30 weeks last time. My midwife vetoed them because their waistbands were too thick and constricting for the baby. The stretchy waistband from Motherhood Maternity is great. Underbelly waistbands are also great.

4) Realize that not all pregnant women have giant boobs. I have to really be careful what tops I buy because many are made to "show off that great cleavage" that all pregnant women are assumed to have. Right now, I'm rocking a nice small B-cup, which is about a cup size bigger than I usually am, and I may even see a full B before it's said and done (although I may not). Why do so many tops in a size Small seem to need at least a C or a D to fill out? Make some stuff for those of us who have smaller boobs. We need something to wear, too.

5) On that topic, can we get a better selection of nursing bras in small sizes, too?


Now, though all this, I do not fail to see the irony! Ask 1o0 random people who they think all clothes are made for, and at least 80 of them will tell you that all clothes are made for tall skinny women with no boobs. So why do those of us who kind of fit that description have such a time finding clothes, no matter what?? It's really kind of funny how backward it all is. It makes me wonder, if the world thinks all clothes are made for me, and that's evidently not true, just WHO are these clothes made for?