Today, registration opened for the Sears Heroes At Home gift cards. Now, every customer of Sears will be asked to donate money at the register throughout the holiday season, and those donations will be pooled, and distributed equally between the 20,000 Active Duty servicemembers (or really, their wives using their information to sign up, in most cases) who were quick enough at getting the application through the totally bogged down server for the entire couple minutes it stays open.
As you can probably tell, I'm not a huge fan of this. I'm not saying there don't exist military families who need money. There do. I have a friend right now who just left her husband, who is Active Duty, for extremely justified reasons, and needs this sort of thing. I hope she gets it. Hell, I hope everyone who is in a difficult situation, not brought on by their own stupidity, gets it. Even so, I find the mad dash for money absolutely disgusting. You would not believe the way people are flipping out about this thing if they can't get their application in, or if they are denied, or if the gift cards aren't as much as they were expecting. For every person who's actually thankful for it and actually needed it, there are about a hundred of the other kind.
More than any of that, though, I see a couple significant flaws with this program. First of all, they're soliciting donations, mostly from civilians, to go into this thing. The average civilian household income in 2011 was $48,000. The average military household income, when factoring in cash value of benefits, was close to $100,000. Granted, the pay chart doesn't show that, but outside of base pay, there is housing allowance, food allowance, free medical, and ten thousand safety nets straight out of any socialist country's playbook. (Yeah, I went there.) That stuff isn't free, and while about 1/2 of that "income" never hits the soldier's bank account, it's received in other ways, ways that people on the outside don't have. That $48,000 that the average household pulled in? Yeah, that's all they get. So basically, what we have here is people donating money to a class of society that is far better off than they probably are. It's kind of like the tax code, except that people mostly don't even realize what's going on.
The other thing I see as incredibly flawed about this program is that National Guard and Reserve families are excluded. All that stuff Active Duty families have, Guard and Reserve families do not. When we fell on hard times, do you think the Army Reserve could do much to help us? No, they couldn't. We pretty much lost everything, and they didn't have to care about any of that as long as Thak turns up to drill on the first weekend of every month, and does his instructor workshop in the summer. It's not that they're wrong for that. I mean, it's really not their lane to worry about their soldiers' day to day lives outside the unit. The fact is, though, there are thousands of Guard and Reserve families who are struggling hard in the civilian economy, unable to go Active Duty and get the benefits of full time status, and still subject to deployment, Army regulation, and all the other stuff that comes with wearing a uniform, however infrequently. I know Reserve families who have been homeless for part of this year. I know countless ones who have lost their homes when their civilian jobs had downsizing. Yet, things like this support only Active Duty, who are actually guaranteed a steady income, which is actually higher than that of most Americans.
So you still want to support the troops, and you're not sure how since the Heroes at Home thing is a crock? Here are a few ideas for you:
-Talk to a local National Guard unit about donating toys or food for their unit Christmas party, or even giving some gift cards for the commander or chaplain to pass out to needy families for Christmas. I specifically mentioned Guard here because these are the people who help you when there's a natural disaster or something, so if you really want to give back to someone who has done a lot for you, the National Guard should be your first priority.
-A Reserve unit would also be a great place to do the things I already mentioned above. Reserve soldiers do basically the same thing as National Guard soldiers except that they're not at the Governor's discretion, so they aren't the ones being called up for local things. They still deploy and do homeland security missions, and that sort of thing, though, like Active Duty troops.
-Get with a program like Soldiers' Angels and send a care package to a single soldier who will be deployed for the holidays.
-Donate to Fisher House. This is invaluable. Fisher House residences allow families of wounded soldiers to stay with them while they're receiving treatment at military hospitals. I know that if Thak got hurt overseas, I'd do anything in the world to be with him, as would any wife for her husband, but having a Fisher House to stay at really makes a difference financially and logistically. I know how much of a difference Fisher House has made for so many of my friends over the years.
There are infinite ways to support our troops and veterans for the holidays. I think I speak for most Americans when I say it's important to donate our hard earned dollars (or our even more precious time and effort) where it will truly be appreciated and make the most difference. Hopefully, I have given a few good ideas as a jumping off point for wiser holiday giving.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
The Warring Generation
It seems like ours is the warring generation. Not terribly long after we were legally allowed to call ourselves adults, we ended up with an actual war, and then the old bastards who ignored the intelligence that lead us to be attacked on 9/11/01, resulting in that war, picked us another fight not even two years later, and without the first fight done yet.
Some of us are old enough to run for public office now, and a few have even been elected, but these wars are still going on, mostly because the same old bastards who sent us there in the first place can't seem to find it within themselves to admit defeat, call it good, and let the dying stop. Some of them would even like to pick us more fights. Apparently, it wasn't enough to spend our 20's and 30's dealing with some old guys' war. We also need to hand this thing down to our kids. I have a kid just nine years from military age (eight with my signature, which I'd give her if she asked). If we let these people give us another war, judging by how these things have gone recently, our kids, most of whom who weren't even born when all this began, will be fighting it.
Think about how weird that must be for them, to have never lived in a world that was at peace, to have never watched the news and not seen reports of US troops dying. Boy, we 80's kids sure had it good. I remember Desert Storm. I was in third grade, and a guy in my class had a brother in the Navy. We sent him care packages and letters, and he came to see us when he got home a few months later. He didn't have to go back to the Persian Gulf ever again after he came home. By and large, Desert Storm was a blip on the radar screen of the American public, and it was over as quickly as it began. As a kid growing up in the US, with the exception of Desert Storm, I never had to think about war. War was that thing that happened when my parents were in college, that thing that people yelled about in the streets, and that the big black wall I saw on my 4th grade field trip to Washington DC was in commemoration of. War was not a part of my life until I was a Private in the Army, and the 9/11 attacks happened.
Our kids don't have that luxury. Erin, at the age of 9, knows what it's like for her dad to go into a combat zone for 12-15 months at a time, and to do it over and over again, with absolutely no end in sight. She knows that some kids' daddies don't make it home, and that there are bad guys who would like nothing more than to see her daddy, and all the others, dead. (Thanks, kid in Erin's class for telling her that during Thak's third tour. There's one downside to DoD schools for you.) She knows what it's like for every bad thing on the news to directly affect our family, and for the longest time, thought that every time the president gave a speech, it meant her dad would be getting orders to leave again. She knows what the casualty notification car looks like, and what Taps means, and why MRAPS are sloped on the bottom (to deflect shrapnel, because the bad guys like to plant bombs in the dirt). This is stuff that kids should never know, but it's stuff that our kids inevitably do know, because they have never known a world without war.
We have to do something about this. Really, is this what a privileged upbringing in peacetime gives? People who vote overwhelmingly conservative, because they had it so good that they don't think they have to help anybody, and who grew up in peace, so they take wars lightly? Is this what we have come to? That's crazy. We can't do this. Our country is falling apart, and honestly, it's getting to the point where we can't just blame the old guys anymore. They're dying off, retiring, moving on. More and more, the responsibility is shifting to our own, and people, most of us are really blowing it.
Now, in addition to the wars we have off shore, we have wars with each other. Most of my Army buddies are Republican. Most of my Army buddies are also male. When I talk about how detrimental the GOP platform on healthcare and women's issues really is to every American woman, I can see that they do not care. To them, the GOP is who gave them better pay raises as soldiers, and who they trust to give them better benefits from the VA now. Understandably, they trust them to take care of our brothers and sisters who are still fighting, and us who are done fighting.
Unfortunately, that's pitting them, and those like them, against the interests of like half the population, which is playing right into the GOP's hands. The problem is that any perceived benefit that the GOP gives to veterans (which really isn't greater than what the Democrats give us) is handily outweighed by the fact that their policies on women's issues could literally kill people, our very own American people, and that it would be totally preventable, but illegal to prevent. That's scary. These people have proposed policies that could literally cause my death, or that of any other woman, under certain circumstances. While I once wrote the metaphorical check to the US for any amount, up to and including my life, and regret nothing about that, I refuse to die of something stupid (like an ectopic pregnancy) because some asshole Republican said that a fertilized egg deserves more rights to life than me, a full fledged citizen of the nation. I cannot be the only one who sees the ridiculousness of that line of thought. The war on women is very real, and if these Republicans have their way about it, there will be casualties, and not just in the way of rights.
Add to that, there is a major struggle going on between classes. The GOP has become basically the strong arm of the richest people in our nation. The Democrats and the smaller parties more closely represent the interests of us common folks who don't have millions of dollars to our names. The problem is that not everyone sees that. Some people are lured by the GOP's values platform, or supposed support of the military, and really, by voting that way, they've signed themselves up to be pawns of the rich, just as much as everybody who enlisted after the invasion of Iraq. Class warfare is real, and just like the insurgent warfare we all know so well, there is no front line and no rear echelon. We're all in it just as much as the next guy.
You know, I remember this one cadence we used to sing in Airborne School at Ft. Benning, as we'd run to our training areas each day. It started out "One, two, three, four, hey. Somebody, anybody start a war, hey." I thought it was a catchy tune. We all did. Most of us thought it sounded cool to go to war. We thought it would be noble, valorous, and exciting. Now, a decade later, all of us, whether we went to those wars or not, know that literal wars are anything but exciting, and that while some of the people involved may be noble or valorous, the situation itself couldn't be farther from it. The problem is that too many of these same people don't recognize that our wars, and any causes that people may believe are associated with them, are not more justified by waging more wars, and that the wars on our own soil are just as important and just as costly as the ones overseas.
It also bears mentioning that the people who have consciously avoided the literal wars that our country has waged have every bit of responsibility to get in on the right side of these cultural wars here at home. Even though you may not be female, even though you may be somewhat well off, you can surely see how wrong it is for the elite to simply wield power over facets of people's lives where they don't belong, and to act on the belief that corporations are people, and to do all the other heinous things they would love to do. Surely, any rational person can see how harmful this can be to society at large, and to a majority of individuals.
I hope that our generation will find peace. I hope that one day, we'll move past this chapter in our history, and that for once, we'll learn from it. For now, to move us closer to that point, it is everybody's responsibility to see our current political situation for what it is, and to think not only of yourself, but of what kind of world you want your children to remember growing up in. They have seen too much war already. Can't we bring the peace now?
Some of us are old enough to run for public office now, and a few have even been elected, but these wars are still going on, mostly because the same old bastards who sent us there in the first place can't seem to find it within themselves to admit defeat, call it good, and let the dying stop. Some of them would even like to pick us more fights. Apparently, it wasn't enough to spend our 20's and 30's dealing with some old guys' war. We also need to hand this thing down to our kids. I have a kid just nine years from military age (eight with my signature, which I'd give her if she asked). If we let these people give us another war, judging by how these things have gone recently, our kids, most of whom who weren't even born when all this began, will be fighting it.
Think about how weird that must be for them, to have never lived in a world that was at peace, to have never watched the news and not seen reports of US troops dying. Boy, we 80's kids sure had it good. I remember Desert Storm. I was in third grade, and a guy in my class had a brother in the Navy. We sent him care packages and letters, and he came to see us when he got home a few months later. He didn't have to go back to the Persian Gulf ever again after he came home. By and large, Desert Storm was a blip on the radar screen of the American public, and it was over as quickly as it began. As a kid growing up in the US, with the exception of Desert Storm, I never had to think about war. War was that thing that happened when my parents were in college, that thing that people yelled about in the streets, and that the big black wall I saw on my 4th grade field trip to Washington DC was in commemoration of. War was not a part of my life until I was a Private in the Army, and the 9/11 attacks happened.
Our kids don't have that luxury. Erin, at the age of 9, knows what it's like for her dad to go into a combat zone for 12-15 months at a time, and to do it over and over again, with absolutely no end in sight. She knows that some kids' daddies don't make it home, and that there are bad guys who would like nothing more than to see her daddy, and all the others, dead. (Thanks, kid in Erin's class for telling her that during Thak's third tour. There's one downside to DoD schools for you.) She knows what it's like for every bad thing on the news to directly affect our family, and for the longest time, thought that every time the president gave a speech, it meant her dad would be getting orders to leave again. She knows what the casualty notification car looks like, and what Taps means, and why MRAPS are sloped on the bottom (to deflect shrapnel, because the bad guys like to plant bombs in the dirt). This is stuff that kids should never know, but it's stuff that our kids inevitably do know, because they have never known a world without war.
We have to do something about this. Really, is this what a privileged upbringing in peacetime gives? People who vote overwhelmingly conservative, because they had it so good that they don't think they have to help anybody, and who grew up in peace, so they take wars lightly? Is this what we have come to? That's crazy. We can't do this. Our country is falling apart, and honestly, it's getting to the point where we can't just blame the old guys anymore. They're dying off, retiring, moving on. More and more, the responsibility is shifting to our own, and people, most of us are really blowing it.
Now, in addition to the wars we have off shore, we have wars with each other. Most of my Army buddies are Republican. Most of my Army buddies are also male. When I talk about how detrimental the GOP platform on healthcare and women's issues really is to every American woman, I can see that they do not care. To them, the GOP is who gave them better pay raises as soldiers, and who they trust to give them better benefits from the VA now. Understandably, they trust them to take care of our brothers and sisters who are still fighting, and us who are done fighting.
Unfortunately, that's pitting them, and those like them, against the interests of like half the population, which is playing right into the GOP's hands. The problem is that any perceived benefit that the GOP gives to veterans (which really isn't greater than what the Democrats give us) is handily outweighed by the fact that their policies on women's issues could literally kill people, our very own American people, and that it would be totally preventable, but illegal to prevent. That's scary. These people have proposed policies that could literally cause my death, or that of any other woman, under certain circumstances. While I once wrote the metaphorical check to the US for any amount, up to and including my life, and regret nothing about that, I refuse to die of something stupid (like an ectopic pregnancy) because some asshole Republican said that a fertilized egg deserves more rights to life than me, a full fledged citizen of the nation. I cannot be the only one who sees the ridiculousness of that line of thought. The war on women is very real, and if these Republicans have their way about it, there will be casualties, and not just in the way of rights.
Add to that, there is a major struggle going on between classes. The GOP has become basically the strong arm of the richest people in our nation. The Democrats and the smaller parties more closely represent the interests of us common folks who don't have millions of dollars to our names. The problem is that not everyone sees that. Some people are lured by the GOP's values platform, or supposed support of the military, and really, by voting that way, they've signed themselves up to be pawns of the rich, just as much as everybody who enlisted after the invasion of Iraq. Class warfare is real, and just like the insurgent warfare we all know so well, there is no front line and no rear echelon. We're all in it just as much as the next guy.
You know, I remember this one cadence we used to sing in Airborne School at Ft. Benning, as we'd run to our training areas each day. It started out "One, two, three, four, hey. Somebody, anybody start a war, hey." I thought it was a catchy tune. We all did. Most of us thought it sounded cool to go to war. We thought it would be noble, valorous, and exciting. Now, a decade later, all of us, whether we went to those wars or not, know that literal wars are anything but exciting, and that while some of the people involved may be noble or valorous, the situation itself couldn't be farther from it. The problem is that too many of these same people don't recognize that our wars, and any causes that people may believe are associated with them, are not more justified by waging more wars, and that the wars on our own soil are just as important and just as costly as the ones overseas.
It also bears mentioning that the people who have consciously avoided the literal wars that our country has waged have every bit of responsibility to get in on the right side of these cultural wars here at home. Even though you may not be female, even though you may be somewhat well off, you can surely see how wrong it is for the elite to simply wield power over facets of people's lives where they don't belong, and to act on the belief that corporations are people, and to do all the other heinous things they would love to do. Surely, any rational person can see how harmful this can be to society at large, and to a majority of individuals.
I hope that our generation will find peace. I hope that one day, we'll move past this chapter in our history, and that for once, we'll learn from it. For now, to move us closer to that point, it is everybody's responsibility to see our current political situation for what it is, and to think not only of yourself, but of what kind of world you want your children to remember growing up in. They have seen too much war already. Can't we bring the peace now?
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
My 9-year-old has a cell phone.
I never thought I'd say those words. I honestly thought she would be of whatever age she might be when she could get a job and pay for the thing, before she had a phone. Then she got accepted to the school she's going to this year, and it's in a different state. We want her to be able to call anytime she wants, without having to borrow a phone, wait until she gets home, or anything like that. It just made sense, under the circumstances, that she have a phone.
I know for a fact that a lot of my friends who know about this think it's absolutely ridiculous. Responses have included, "Oh hell no!" and "You did NOT!". Some don't think it's bad at all. My thing is, every circumstance is different. Your 9-year-old may not need a phone. Actually, chances are, they don't. I totally understand why most people don't get kids this age phones. I never thought I would either. Then it was decided that Erin would be going to school out of state this year, and everything changed.
It's also not the extravagant thing it may seem like. We gave her my old flip phone, which is in great condition, and an adorable shade of purple, and put it as an extra line on our existing plan, for $9.99 a month. She doesn't have a data plan. She doesn't have an iPhone. She just has the ability to call whenever she wants, and she really likes her phone.
I'll admit, I like the idea of her having it. That way, when she comes home, if Thak isn't around, like after he deploys, I won't have to go around looking for her to come in for dinner, or because we want to go somewhere. This could make my life easier, too, in the long run.
I know for a fact that a lot of my friends who know about this think it's absolutely ridiculous. Responses have included, "Oh hell no!" and "You did NOT!". Some don't think it's bad at all. My thing is, every circumstance is different. Your 9-year-old may not need a phone. Actually, chances are, they don't. I totally understand why most people don't get kids this age phones. I never thought I would either. Then it was decided that Erin would be going to school out of state this year, and everything changed.
It's also not the extravagant thing it may seem like. We gave her my old flip phone, which is in great condition, and an adorable shade of purple, and put it as an extra line on our existing plan, for $9.99 a month. She doesn't have a data plan. She doesn't have an iPhone. She just has the ability to call whenever she wants, and she really likes her phone.
I'll admit, I like the idea of her having it. That way, when she comes home, if Thak isn't around, like after he deploys, I won't have to go around looking for her to come in for dinner, or because we want to go somewhere. This could make my life easier, too, in the long run.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Here's proof that doing great things takes many paths.
I've always thought of those who end up in high profile positions, with the really cool jobs, as sort of nerd royalty. In most cases, they are. These are the guys who didn't have to work in high school, and who actually chose to focus on school, and taking high level classes, and doing relevant extracurriculars. (So basically, I'm in no way denying that nerd royalty hasn't worked hard for it. They do work hard, from a young age.) They're the ones who could confidently apply to places like MIT or Cal Tech, and know that they'd be able to afford to go even if they didn't get a full scholarship, and that they wouldn't have to work two jobs just to put a roof over their heads while they were there. They graduate when they're 22 years old, and move seamlessly to grad school, and through a delicate combination of hard work, ingenuity, money, and internships, they find their way to NASA.
In today's science and engineering community, money is a huge driving factor. It always has been, but today, with the cost of tuition increasing 500% in the past couple decades (a disproportionate increase compared to cost of living in general, and especially compared to income), it is more of a driving factor than it's ever been. The ones who get to the places all of us dream about, are the ones who have money to throw at it. That's something most of us have accepted. It also seems that there is a certain archetype, and it's the ones who are able to do it the conventional way, who really get where they're going.
Today, I read something that really made me happy. One of the guys on the Curiosity team, the one who was in charge of the actual landing of the rover on the surface of Mars, is a rather non-traditional fellow. You might have noticed Adam Steltzner on the footage of the mission control room, as the one with the cool Elvis-like hair. I know I thought that was pretty awesome anyway! Well, the part that's even more awesome is the fact that this guy is not even close to the archetype of nerd royalty that most of us have come to accept. He actually dropped out of high school once upon a time (because he didn't do well in high school, nor enjoy it), and traveled around playing in a rock band. He became interested in the stars after noticing how different they looked at different times, and enrolled at a community college, then went from there. Who could have ever guessed he'd end up landing a rover on the surface of Mars?
Let me tell you why this gives me hope. I am not the nerd royalty archetype. I struggled financially in college, and joined the Army. Then I went back to school, and ended up leaving again with two semesters left, in order to save my marriage. Now I am going back, and I feel like I'm on the brink of something very important. Even so, the nagging thing in the back of my mind is always reminding me of the people I went to school with before, who had the luxury of doing things the way you're really supposed to do them, and are already working in awesome firms, doing amazing things, moving up. Am I destined to always be just a low level engineer, who never moves much past the point of designing drainage ditches and parking lots? (Not that there's anything wrong with that work, and I'll more than gladly do it. I just hope to do other things as well.) I had some wonderful opportunities years ago, and walked away, because it was that or my marriage. I just hope that my ship hasn't sailed, that I'm not stuck with what I have, because I didn't push through, and get where I was going, even though I'd have gotten there alone. Seeing that someone else did it in a non-traditional way, and he's not locked into a life of low level work (anything but!) is very nice.
I am not, and will not be, in aerospace engineering. It is not my calling, and it never was. I enjoy this stuff, though, from a spectator's (er... physics junkie's) point of view, and having some ties to that community, I'm very proud of these guys. My equivalent would be to get on with a good firm or the Army Corps of Engineers, and live out my days designing wonderful things that will outlive me by a long shot, even if they are the kind of things that most people don't even notice when they see them. If a former high school dropout can land a rover on Mars, I can get where I'm going, too.
In today's science and engineering community, money is a huge driving factor. It always has been, but today, with the cost of tuition increasing 500% in the past couple decades (a disproportionate increase compared to cost of living in general, and especially compared to income), it is more of a driving factor than it's ever been. The ones who get to the places all of us dream about, are the ones who have money to throw at it. That's something most of us have accepted. It also seems that there is a certain archetype, and it's the ones who are able to do it the conventional way, who really get where they're going.
Today, I read something that really made me happy. One of the guys on the Curiosity team, the one who was in charge of the actual landing of the rover on the surface of Mars, is a rather non-traditional fellow. You might have noticed Adam Steltzner on the footage of the mission control room, as the one with the cool Elvis-like hair. I know I thought that was pretty awesome anyway! Well, the part that's even more awesome is the fact that this guy is not even close to the archetype of nerd royalty that most of us have come to accept. He actually dropped out of high school once upon a time (because he didn't do well in high school, nor enjoy it), and traveled around playing in a rock band. He became interested in the stars after noticing how different they looked at different times, and enrolled at a community college, then went from there. Who could have ever guessed he'd end up landing a rover on the surface of Mars?
Let me tell you why this gives me hope. I am not the nerd royalty archetype. I struggled financially in college, and joined the Army. Then I went back to school, and ended up leaving again with two semesters left, in order to save my marriage. Now I am going back, and I feel like I'm on the brink of something very important. Even so, the nagging thing in the back of my mind is always reminding me of the people I went to school with before, who had the luxury of doing things the way you're really supposed to do them, and are already working in awesome firms, doing amazing things, moving up. Am I destined to always be just a low level engineer, who never moves much past the point of designing drainage ditches and parking lots? (Not that there's anything wrong with that work, and I'll more than gladly do it. I just hope to do other things as well.) I had some wonderful opportunities years ago, and walked away, because it was that or my marriage. I just hope that my ship hasn't sailed, that I'm not stuck with what I have, because I didn't push through, and get where I was going, even though I'd have gotten there alone. Seeing that someone else did it in a non-traditional way, and he's not locked into a life of low level work (anything but!) is very nice.
I am not, and will not be, in aerospace engineering. It is not my calling, and it never was. I enjoy this stuff, though, from a spectator's (er... physics junkie's) point of view, and having some ties to that community, I'm very proud of these guys. My equivalent would be to get on with a good firm or the Army Corps of Engineers, and live out my days designing wonderful things that will outlive me by a long shot, even if they are the kind of things that most people don't even notice when they see them. If a former high school dropout can land a rover on Mars, I can get where I'm going, too.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
Just when I thought Romney couldn't get stupider, he did.
Unless you live under a rock, you know by now that Mitt Romney has tagged Paul Ryan as his running mate. In the unlikely event that you do live under a rock, please consider taking me on as a roommate. I'm sick of the crap out here, and would relish the opportunity to get away from it all for a while. Anyway, the addition of this, um, interesting person, to his ticket, a lot of things have become more apparent.
First of all, people are crazy. I know several people who actually like this. How on earth can anybody like someone with Paul Ryan's voting record? He's even worse than Mitt Romney, which I thought was pretty close to impossible. He actually supported a bill to make the Patriot Act permanent, supports a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, would relish the opportunity to eliminate Medicare, and make drastic cuts to Social Security and unemployment, and given the opportunity, would overturn Roe vs Wade, and ban certain types of contraception. Oh, and he's a Packers fan (You know I couldn't let that slide). Add all that to Romney's assertion that "corporations are people, too", and his general hypocrisy and shady nature, and you've got pretty much the biggest recipe for disaster in the history of our nation. At this point, the only thing that could make this ticket any less desirable is if they had plans to appoint actual brain eating zombies to the Supreme Court.
There is one thing that totally kills me about all this. Every person I know who supports the Romney/Ryan presidential ticket, is low income. They have no idea that these people do not work for them. They're going to screw them so hard. You can barely pay your bills even though you're working as many hours as humanly possible? You can't afford insurance for yourself and your wife, and your kid is on Medicaid? If you have to call in sick, you won't have enough money to pay your bills this month? Guess what, friend. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan don't give a shit. You and people like you, are nothing to them. They will help their buddies in corporations, push their religious agenda, and cut every program that has ever been of benefit to you. You want to see your cost of living go through the roof and times get even harder? Elect these guys.
Only in America do people line up to vote for their own downfall, and do it with a smile. There is some serious class warfare going on, and most of the people who are the worst off for it don't even know, or won't acknowledge it for what it is. People like Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan represent the richest 1% of the nation, and that's really about it. They will do for the rich, make them richer, and as a consequence, the poor will become poorer. Look at how much the middle class has eroded. Many families have seen a drastic decrease in their standard of living as the economy has fallen. My family has, and we are not considered low income. We don't even qualify for reduced price school lunch. Even so, we have fallen pretty far. Imagine what it's like for the people who started out where we are now. Where do they fall to? They fall straight out of the middle class, that's where. My friends, that's called class warfare. These rich guys are doing for other rich guys, with our tax dollars no less, and the rest of us are left out in the cold. The poorer you started out, the more you suffer.
Before you vote, honestly think about what the person you are voting for represents. I don't mean values. Values voting is probably the worst thing going. Who honestly cares if this person is pro-life? If you don't agree with abortions, don't get one. Same-sex marriage the is the same idea. If you don't want to marry someone of the same sex, then don't. Why on earth would you vote for someone who will totally screw up your daily life, or at least not improve it at all, just because they share your stance on values type of issues, which, by the way, have absolutely no impact on your daily life. Really, what is it going to affect in your day to day existence if people get abortions and gays get married? Oh yeah, that's right. Nothing. Now, what will it affect if some jerk who will do away with every program that ever was of any benefit to you is elected? Well, that could deal quite a blow to your daily life. But hey, they're pro-life and hate the gays! It's all good, right?
I would say one good thing comes of this. Romney did not make a move toward the center with his choice of running mate. He will not pick up many swing voters with this guy. I think, if anything, he has insured Obama's second term. Our nation loves two term presidents anyway. In my lifetime, there's only been one who wasn't. Even though it is pretty much a given that these guys don't stand a chance, please, don't feed these trolls your vote.
First of all, people are crazy. I know several people who actually like this. How on earth can anybody like someone with Paul Ryan's voting record? He's even worse than Mitt Romney, which I thought was pretty close to impossible. He actually supported a bill to make the Patriot Act permanent, supports a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, would relish the opportunity to eliminate Medicare, and make drastic cuts to Social Security and unemployment, and given the opportunity, would overturn Roe vs Wade, and ban certain types of contraception. Oh, and he's a Packers fan (You know I couldn't let that slide). Add all that to Romney's assertion that "corporations are people, too", and his general hypocrisy and shady nature, and you've got pretty much the biggest recipe for disaster in the history of our nation. At this point, the only thing that could make this ticket any less desirable is if they had plans to appoint actual brain eating zombies to the Supreme Court.
There is one thing that totally kills me about all this. Every person I know who supports the Romney/Ryan presidential ticket, is low income. They have no idea that these people do not work for them. They're going to screw them so hard. You can barely pay your bills even though you're working as many hours as humanly possible? You can't afford insurance for yourself and your wife, and your kid is on Medicaid? If you have to call in sick, you won't have enough money to pay your bills this month? Guess what, friend. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan don't give a shit. You and people like you, are nothing to them. They will help their buddies in corporations, push their religious agenda, and cut every program that has ever been of benefit to you. You want to see your cost of living go through the roof and times get even harder? Elect these guys.
Only in America do people line up to vote for their own downfall, and do it with a smile. There is some serious class warfare going on, and most of the people who are the worst off for it don't even know, or won't acknowledge it for what it is. People like Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan represent the richest 1% of the nation, and that's really about it. They will do for the rich, make them richer, and as a consequence, the poor will become poorer. Look at how much the middle class has eroded. Many families have seen a drastic decrease in their standard of living as the economy has fallen. My family has, and we are not considered low income. We don't even qualify for reduced price school lunch. Even so, we have fallen pretty far. Imagine what it's like for the people who started out where we are now. Where do they fall to? They fall straight out of the middle class, that's where. My friends, that's called class warfare. These rich guys are doing for other rich guys, with our tax dollars no less, and the rest of us are left out in the cold. The poorer you started out, the more you suffer.
Before you vote, honestly think about what the person you are voting for represents. I don't mean values. Values voting is probably the worst thing going. Who honestly cares if this person is pro-life? If you don't agree with abortions, don't get one. Same-sex marriage the is the same idea. If you don't want to marry someone of the same sex, then don't. Why on earth would you vote for someone who will totally screw up your daily life, or at least not improve it at all, just because they share your stance on values type of issues, which, by the way, have absolutely no impact on your daily life. Really, what is it going to affect in your day to day existence if people get abortions and gays get married? Oh yeah, that's right. Nothing. Now, what will it affect if some jerk who will do away with every program that ever was of any benefit to you is elected? Well, that could deal quite a blow to your daily life. But hey, they're pro-life and hate the gays! It's all good, right?
I would say one good thing comes of this. Romney did not make a move toward the center with his choice of running mate. He will not pick up many swing voters with this guy. I think, if anything, he has insured Obama's second term. Our nation loves two term presidents anyway. In my lifetime, there's only been one who wasn't. Even though it is pretty much a given that these guys don't stand a chance, please, don't feed these trolls your vote.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
When there is no cause, it is simpler.
Thak did three tours in Iraq. What a lot of people wouldn't guess, given that, is that we never, for one single day, believed that war should have happened. It was wrong the day he convoyed over the border from Kuwait as part of the invasion. It was wrong when they sent him to the Syrian border to do something that ultimately made the news. It was wrong when they sent him as part of a massive surge of troops, to reclaim Baghdad. That war was wrong from beginning to end, illegal even, and we always knew it. Every day we lived with the reality of fighting that war, it was conflicting and difficult, because on one hand, he was there, or training to go there, and we had to live with that reality every day of our lives for about five years. It is hard to live a life where one big part of it is being a part of something you know is wrong.
After all that, we wanted nothing to do with deployments ever again, but that's not what the economy had for us. Pretty much the only thing Thak can do that brings in enough money for us to live on, is work for a defense contracting firm in a job that deploys. Luckily, it's in a field he enjoys very much, and he actually likes his job, minus the fact that he has to deploy. He's going to Afghanistan next year with an Army unit that he works with as a contractor.
Oddly, this sits way better with both of us than any of his previous deployments did. It all comes down to one thing, really. There is no cause this time. The only reason he's doing this is for money. Sure, giving up 9 months of our life for money sounds like a ridiculous thing to do, but there's really nothing else that's going to give us the boost this will give us, and we need it, so it's the right answer this time. The only cause for us this time, is us. It's selfish, and completely egocentric, and a hell of a lot easier to live with than George Dubya's war ever was.
Funny how that works.
After all that, we wanted nothing to do with deployments ever again, but that's not what the economy had for us. Pretty much the only thing Thak can do that brings in enough money for us to live on, is work for a defense contracting firm in a job that deploys. Luckily, it's in a field he enjoys very much, and he actually likes his job, minus the fact that he has to deploy. He's going to Afghanistan next year with an Army unit that he works with as a contractor.
Oddly, this sits way better with both of us than any of his previous deployments did. It all comes down to one thing, really. There is no cause this time. The only reason he's doing this is for money. Sure, giving up 9 months of our life for money sounds like a ridiculous thing to do, but there's really nothing else that's going to give us the boost this will give us, and we need it, so it's the right answer this time. The only cause for us this time, is us. It's selfish, and completely egocentric, and a hell of a lot easier to live with than George Dubya's war ever was.
Funny how that works.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Daycare! AAAHHH!!
After getting back into some of my old subject matter, and seeing that I've still got what it takes to do this stuff, thus being reasonably sure of not falling flat on my face when I go back to school, there is only one thing left that gives me that horrible ball of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. The boys will have to go to daycare. I'm not worried about Orren, really. He'll be 4 years old by then, and a kid that age should be doing some form of preschool type of thing. It's perfect timing for him. The thought of sending Chai to daycare is not sitting very well at all, though. He'll only be 2. I know he will be fine. He's a sweet and outgoing little guy, and he'll love his new friends, and his teachers, and all the fun toys and new activities he gets to do. It's only me who has a problem with this. I'm glad I have a while to get past it before I actually have to drop him off and walk away for the first time. Ugh... I can't even think about it.
Anyway, I asked on a local group for recommendations for daycares and babysitters in Statesboro. I was clear that price is no concern. I want the best. The on campus daycare at Georgia Southern was recommended highest, and one other center, plus a couple of churches were also recommended (all this by a girl who graduated from Georgia Southern with a degree in child development, and worked at the GSU campus daycare after she graduated).
GSU would obviously be my first choice. It would ease my mind quite a bit to have the boys right there on campus with me so that I could get to them super fast if they needed me for any reason. One of the hardest things about Erin being in daycare when I was in school before was that if she needed me, I was an hour away, and that's if I made every light and didn't get stuck in traffic. More realistically, it would take me an hour and a half to get to her. I cannot imagine doing that again. On campus daycare? Yes please. Knowing it's the best in town? Done. That's where they're going.
They do have a waiting list, so I have to find out how long it is so I can know when to get on it. I will probably call them next week to set up a time to come visit, ask a billion ridiculous questions, and maybe go ahead and get on the list if now's the time to do that. I really hope that this works out for us. I have a good feeling about it. I still can't stand the thought of leaving my Chai Guy, but luckily, I have time to get used to that idea.
Anyway, I asked on a local group for recommendations for daycares and babysitters in Statesboro. I was clear that price is no concern. I want the best. The on campus daycare at Georgia Southern was recommended highest, and one other center, plus a couple of churches were also recommended (all this by a girl who graduated from Georgia Southern with a degree in child development, and worked at the GSU campus daycare after she graduated).
GSU would obviously be my first choice. It would ease my mind quite a bit to have the boys right there on campus with me so that I could get to them super fast if they needed me for any reason. One of the hardest things about Erin being in daycare when I was in school before was that if she needed me, I was an hour away, and that's if I made every light and didn't get stuck in traffic. More realistically, it would take me an hour and a half to get to her. I cannot imagine doing that again. On campus daycare? Yes please. Knowing it's the best in town? Done. That's where they're going.
They do have a waiting list, so I have to find out how long it is so I can know when to get on it. I will probably call them next week to set up a time to come visit, ask a billion ridiculous questions, and maybe go ahead and get on the list if now's the time to do that. I really hope that this works out for us. I have a good feeling about it. I still can't stand the thought of leaving my Chai Guy, but luckily, I have time to get used to that idea.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
I've still got it!
I did calculus today, for the first time in a couple years. It was just easy stuff, of course. I'm going through my favorite calculus book in order, page by page, and doing every problem in the whole thing, because that is what needs to happen in order for me to truly make up for lost time. I'm a firm believer in the fact that nobody anywhere in the sciences or engineering can afford to be weak in any concept in calculus. It is the language of physics, and physics is the backbone of engineering.
I have always loved calculus. Of course, it helps that I had a truly amazing professor to help me along as I was first learning it. I found, as I learned calculus, the world looked different to me. It was just like when I learned any of my favorite topics in physics, like classical mechanics or optics, or even my least favorite topic of all, circuits. The world looks brighter when you see it through the eyes of higher order mathematics, like there's this whole undercurrent that most people don't see, but you do, the duct tape and strings that hold the whole works together. I hadn't realized just how much I had ceased to see the world that way in the time I spent away from it, but today, after doing this work, I feel like my eyes are open again.
Something as simple as driving a car is mighty fun to think about when you can envision the functions for velocity, acceleration, and more. Watching a pot boil is not boring when you picture the thermodynamic equation going on where it sits on the burner. The world is an amazing place when you are able to see it by the numbers, and calculus really is the ticket.
Anyway, having not done calculus in a couple years, and not significant amounts of it even then, it was with great trepidation that I opened my favorite text this morning. I went to my favorite professor's website, watched a bunch of the animations, read through his lecture notes, and it all came back as if I'd never left. I breezed through 60 problems, getting only one of them wrong, and that one, only by a stupid mistake that I knew better than to make anyway. Obviously, I don't expect that instantaneous success with higher order stuff, as the stuff I did today was all single variable, but I'll take today's success for what it's worth.
I'm happy and grateful to be able to report that after several years' hiatus, I can still do calculus!
I have always loved calculus. Of course, it helps that I had a truly amazing professor to help me along as I was first learning it. I found, as I learned calculus, the world looked different to me. It was just like when I learned any of my favorite topics in physics, like classical mechanics or optics, or even my least favorite topic of all, circuits. The world looks brighter when you see it through the eyes of higher order mathematics, like there's this whole undercurrent that most people don't see, but you do, the duct tape and strings that hold the whole works together. I hadn't realized just how much I had ceased to see the world that way in the time I spent away from it, but today, after doing this work, I feel like my eyes are open again.
Something as simple as driving a car is mighty fun to think about when you can envision the functions for velocity, acceleration, and more. Watching a pot boil is not boring when you picture the thermodynamic equation going on where it sits on the burner. The world is an amazing place when you are able to see it by the numbers, and calculus really is the ticket.
Anyway, having not done calculus in a couple years, and not significant amounts of it even then, it was with great trepidation that I opened my favorite text this morning. I went to my favorite professor's website, watched a bunch of the animations, read through his lecture notes, and it all came back as if I'd never left. I breezed through 60 problems, getting only one of them wrong, and that one, only by a stupid mistake that I knew better than to make anyway. Obviously, I don't expect that instantaneous success with higher order stuff, as the stuff I did today was all single variable, but I'll take today's success for what it's worth.
I'm happy and grateful to be able to report that after several years' hiatus, I can still do calculus!
Because no road is totally smooth
Yesterday, I went to call the one online school that was offering a class that I need. Yeah, right. Somehow, this school has been in business for quite some time, yet have the most user-unfriendly way of doing things I have ever seen. It took me clicking around their website for 10 minutes just to find a phone number to call. There was no online application process. I finally call the only number I found, and ran around in circles on the automated menu for 20 minutes, without ever getting to a real person, or any department that had anything to do with anything I needed to do. I couldn't even find out how much it was going to cost, because apparently the classes cost different amounts for everybody (WTF), and when I clicked to get a cost estimate, the link was broken. Needless to say, I will not be taking ANY classes from that school.
Instead, I emailed admissions at Georgia Southern, explained the situation, and asked them what my best course of action would be. I'm hoping to hear back today. If I don't, I'll email someone else within admissions the same thing, and just keep doing that until someone answers.
Basically, here's what I'm afraid of. My credits will be several years old by the time I am able to get back on campus, and although they are from a school with a reciprocity agreement with Georgia Southern, especially with respect to the engineering programs, I'm afraid that they won't accept them if they're over a certain number of years old. That would be bad. I spent a lot of time and effort in earning those credits, and I don't want them to go to waste. The thought of taking all those classes over again kind of freaked me out a little bit. I did find out that they do an entrance exam for people who have been out of school a super long time (not sure if my situation falls under that or not) to see where they are skills-wise, so basically, worst case scenario, I'll have to take that exam, and get placed. Lucky for me, I'm a huge textbook hoarder, and I have enough time to independently study the things I will need to really ace on the exam, mostly Calculus, Chemistry, and Physics. Luckily, that's stuff I enjoy, and am pretty good at, so with luck, if I do have to take the entrance exam, any courses I have to retake, will just be engineering classes, which won't be too deathly boring to retake.
It also sort of freaked me out that I'll be 31 years old when I go back, 32 when I finish. Have you ever taken night classes at a community college before? I think most of us have done that at one point or another. If you have, then you have seen the people who are in their 30's and 40's, basically on an academic treadmill, because they're pretty sure that if they go to college, and get their degree, they'll have a better job, but they've been kicking around the community college for years, not getting anywhere. That is the thought that popped into my mind when it occurred to me how old I'd be when I actually get done. Holy crap. I do not want to be those people.
Of course, later, I thought of this one Desert Storm vet I knew who was going through school at the same time as I was, and she wasn't like those people at all. Sure, she was older than the rest of us (come to think of it, she had to be in her early 30's at the time), but we all still thought she was cool. She also took a normal amount of time to finish classes, graduated, and moved on with her life. It didn't seem pathetic, or even abnormal. As long as I resemble that more than the 40-year-olds sitting outside and talking about how this is definitely their year to finally pass College Algebra, then I can be ok with that.
As I was going to sleep last night, sort of freaking out about all of this still, I was reminded of something that made me smile. My favorite professor's favorite quote, which he put on everything of his, was, "Not all those who wander are lost." (That's a quote from J.R.R. Tolkien.) It occurred to me that maybe I'm really not lost, as it may seem.
Today, I do calculus.
Instead, I emailed admissions at Georgia Southern, explained the situation, and asked them what my best course of action would be. I'm hoping to hear back today. If I don't, I'll email someone else within admissions the same thing, and just keep doing that until someone answers.
Basically, here's what I'm afraid of. My credits will be several years old by the time I am able to get back on campus, and although they are from a school with a reciprocity agreement with Georgia Southern, especially with respect to the engineering programs, I'm afraid that they won't accept them if they're over a certain number of years old. That would be bad. I spent a lot of time and effort in earning those credits, and I don't want them to go to waste. The thought of taking all those classes over again kind of freaked me out a little bit. I did find out that they do an entrance exam for people who have been out of school a super long time (not sure if my situation falls under that or not) to see where they are skills-wise, so basically, worst case scenario, I'll have to take that exam, and get placed. Lucky for me, I'm a huge textbook hoarder, and I have enough time to independently study the things I will need to really ace on the exam, mostly Calculus, Chemistry, and Physics. Luckily, that's stuff I enjoy, and am pretty good at, so with luck, if I do have to take the entrance exam, any courses I have to retake, will just be engineering classes, which won't be too deathly boring to retake.
It also sort of freaked me out that I'll be 31 years old when I go back, 32 when I finish. Have you ever taken night classes at a community college before? I think most of us have done that at one point or another. If you have, then you have seen the people who are in their 30's and 40's, basically on an academic treadmill, because they're pretty sure that if they go to college, and get their degree, they'll have a better job, but they've been kicking around the community college for years, not getting anywhere. That is the thought that popped into my mind when it occurred to me how old I'd be when I actually get done. Holy crap. I do not want to be those people.
Of course, later, I thought of this one Desert Storm vet I knew who was going through school at the same time as I was, and she wasn't like those people at all. Sure, she was older than the rest of us (come to think of it, she had to be in her early 30's at the time), but we all still thought she was cool. She also took a normal amount of time to finish classes, graduated, and moved on with her life. It didn't seem pathetic, or even abnormal. As long as I resemble that more than the 40-year-olds sitting outside and talking about how this is definitely their year to finally pass College Algebra, then I can be ok with that.
As I was going to sleep last night, sort of freaking out about all of this still, I was reminded of something that made me smile. My favorite professor's favorite quote, which he put on everything of his, was, "Not all those who wander are lost." (That's a quote from J.R.R. Tolkien.) It occurred to me that maybe I'm really not lost, as it may seem.
Today, I do calculus.
Monday, August 6, 2012
Oh, hi! Another crossroads!
I've felt stagnant and aimless for a while. I've been feeling like I need to get back out into the world, but not quite sure how to accomplish that, or what direction to go. I have a lot of unfinished business with engineering. I mainly left because I honestly felt like it was that or my marriage. Not a lot of people understand that, but they also didn't live in my house for the years that I was in school, and working so hard for this thing, and being totally not supported in it at all.
It's hard to go through school for engineering. It's harder to do it when you have a kid to consider. It's even harder when you also have a husband who, best case scenario, is deployed, and worst case scenario, is making a ton of work for you at home, not helping at all, and stressing you out by being jealous and insecure about everything you're doing and all the people you're around on a daily basis. Toward the end, my grades began to slip, and I just had to walk away before I lost my chances at ever being an engineer, and my marriage in the process. It was not an easy decision, and in retrospect, it probably could have been handled a lot better than it was, but what's done is done. I walked away, focused on my marriage, had more babies, and was pretty much happy with that choice most days.
Then it hit me about the time Thak got out of the Army. I am kind of screwed. If he had stayed in the Army, it would be different. We'd have the means to live decently well as a single income family. I'd be taken care of for the rest of my life, no matter if I outlive him. On the outside, that doesn't exist, though. Looking at how we live, and knowing that we're actually better off than the majority of single income families these days, and seeing how paltry his life insurance policy is (it would sustain us for maybe two years), and knowing that in his retirement plan, there's really nothing for me, it seemed pretty scary. Add that to the feelings I'd been having of being aimless and stagnant. I was pretty restless.
There have also been a few strong signs lately that have shown me that I need to start moving in some direction. A couple weeks ago, I learned of the death of a favorite professor of mine. In the days that followed, I really got to thinking of all the advice he had ever given me, and all the things he had ever taught me. It lead me to one conclusion. Potential is worth nothing if it isn't realized. A boulder at the top of a hill is full to bursting with potential energy, but until some outside force acts upon it, and makes it roll down the hill, releasing all that potential energy, kinetically, that potential energy might as well not be there at all. It is the initiative, the force, that releases the energy, and makes it accomplish something.
It wasn't long after that, that I got a cookie fortune that said, "It is not too late to change course." I know, I know. Nobody in their right mind takes advice from a fortune cookie. What with the timing, I found it rather apt, and I didn't overlook it.
Then last night, the Curiosity rover landed on Mars. Thak and I watched the footage of Mission Control live online. I was so proud that some of the engineers who had worked on the rover were from Georgia Tech, and that one of our professors was there in Mission Control as part of the team. It was so amazing to see, and at the same time, so bittersweet. No, I was never in aerospace engineering, but seeing a great accomplishment of engineers, even if they are on a different side of the house than I ever was, has a way of bringing clarity to a situation.
Amazingly, this wasn't lost on Thak, and we talked about all of this. I told him everything about why I walked away before. He hadn't known why, really, and I explained it all to him, about how hard it had been for me when I was going through before, and why I felt like I was really put in a position of having to choose. I was surprised that he didn't yell at me, but actually listened! He seemed to understand. He really TRIED to understand, which is a first. I think that's what really needed to change. We decided that I am going back to school.
Of course, this cannot happen immediately. Our budget is ridiculously tight, with no room for childcare expenses, we only have one car, and Thak commutes over 20 miles to work. Going to school on campus cannot happen right away. For now, there are a couple of upper division math classes that I still need, and one is offered online starting in a few weeks. I'll be calling tomorrow to sign up for it. Right now, I am pouring over my Calculus texts like a madwoman, and getting prepared to take that class. When that's done, I'll take a programming class to brush up on my coding skills. Once I have done that, it'll be time for Thak to deploy. That will give us more money to work with, and I can find childcare for Orren and Chai, and begin classes on campus at Georgia Southern, hopefully that summer. I have reviewed their civil engineering curriculum, and by the time he comes home, I should have one semester to go. With luck, I will take my Professional Engineer's exam in 2014, and then hopefully find a job.
I feel good about this. It's not going to be easy, but nothing is these days. It's going to be worth it to get back out there, and this time, on good footing, with a united front. Before, it all felt so futile, like I was fighting every step of the way, and really, I was. I was commuting over an hour each way to school (now, it'll only be 30 minutes), getting no help or support at home, and constantly felt like I was under fire. Now I don't. Now, I feel like I can do this deliberately and correctly, and finally move forward the right way. For the first time in a long time, today I felt like I had a purpose. I'm very nervous. I don't want to screw this up. I honestly think this is the right choice, though, and I cannot wait to have my life back.
It's hard to go through school for engineering. It's harder to do it when you have a kid to consider. It's even harder when you also have a husband who, best case scenario, is deployed, and worst case scenario, is making a ton of work for you at home, not helping at all, and stressing you out by being jealous and insecure about everything you're doing and all the people you're around on a daily basis. Toward the end, my grades began to slip, and I just had to walk away before I lost my chances at ever being an engineer, and my marriage in the process. It was not an easy decision, and in retrospect, it probably could have been handled a lot better than it was, but what's done is done. I walked away, focused on my marriage, had more babies, and was pretty much happy with that choice most days.
Then it hit me about the time Thak got out of the Army. I am kind of screwed. If he had stayed in the Army, it would be different. We'd have the means to live decently well as a single income family. I'd be taken care of for the rest of my life, no matter if I outlive him. On the outside, that doesn't exist, though. Looking at how we live, and knowing that we're actually better off than the majority of single income families these days, and seeing how paltry his life insurance policy is (it would sustain us for maybe two years), and knowing that in his retirement plan, there's really nothing for me, it seemed pretty scary. Add that to the feelings I'd been having of being aimless and stagnant. I was pretty restless.
There have also been a few strong signs lately that have shown me that I need to start moving in some direction. A couple weeks ago, I learned of the death of a favorite professor of mine. In the days that followed, I really got to thinking of all the advice he had ever given me, and all the things he had ever taught me. It lead me to one conclusion. Potential is worth nothing if it isn't realized. A boulder at the top of a hill is full to bursting with potential energy, but until some outside force acts upon it, and makes it roll down the hill, releasing all that potential energy, kinetically, that potential energy might as well not be there at all. It is the initiative, the force, that releases the energy, and makes it accomplish something.
It wasn't long after that, that I got a cookie fortune that said, "It is not too late to change course." I know, I know. Nobody in their right mind takes advice from a fortune cookie. What with the timing, I found it rather apt, and I didn't overlook it.
Then last night, the Curiosity rover landed on Mars. Thak and I watched the footage of Mission Control live online. I was so proud that some of the engineers who had worked on the rover were from Georgia Tech, and that one of our professors was there in Mission Control as part of the team. It was so amazing to see, and at the same time, so bittersweet. No, I was never in aerospace engineering, but seeing a great accomplishment of engineers, even if they are on a different side of the house than I ever was, has a way of bringing clarity to a situation.
Amazingly, this wasn't lost on Thak, and we talked about all of this. I told him everything about why I walked away before. He hadn't known why, really, and I explained it all to him, about how hard it had been for me when I was going through before, and why I felt like I was really put in a position of having to choose. I was surprised that he didn't yell at me, but actually listened! He seemed to understand. He really TRIED to understand, which is a first. I think that's what really needed to change. We decided that I am going back to school.
Of course, this cannot happen immediately. Our budget is ridiculously tight, with no room for childcare expenses, we only have one car, and Thak commutes over 20 miles to work. Going to school on campus cannot happen right away. For now, there are a couple of upper division math classes that I still need, and one is offered online starting in a few weeks. I'll be calling tomorrow to sign up for it. Right now, I am pouring over my Calculus texts like a madwoman, and getting prepared to take that class. When that's done, I'll take a programming class to brush up on my coding skills. Once I have done that, it'll be time for Thak to deploy. That will give us more money to work with, and I can find childcare for Orren and Chai, and begin classes on campus at Georgia Southern, hopefully that summer. I have reviewed their civil engineering curriculum, and by the time he comes home, I should have one semester to go. With luck, I will take my Professional Engineer's exam in 2014, and then hopefully find a job.
I feel good about this. It's not going to be easy, but nothing is these days. It's going to be worth it to get back out there, and this time, on good footing, with a united front. Before, it all felt so futile, like I was fighting every step of the way, and really, I was. I was commuting over an hour each way to school (now, it'll only be 30 minutes), getting no help or support at home, and constantly felt like I was under fire. Now I don't. Now, I feel like I can do this deliberately and correctly, and finally move forward the right way. For the first time in a long time, today I felt like I had a purpose. I'm very nervous. I don't want to screw this up. I honestly think this is the right choice, though, and I cannot wait to have my life back.
Voting: You're doing it wrong. Part 2
The second of our two part series deals, once again, with being honest with oneself about what actually benefits you, and how that might work out for society, but from a different perspective.
Socialism has become a dirty word in the US. You can't go five minutes without hearing about how Obama is a socialist (obviously, these people do not know what a socialist is if they think he is one), or how the socialists in government are out to get us. Last I checked, the nearest country that has actual socialists in government is Canada, and they seem to be doing ok. Even so, the fact remains, there are no socialists in our government.
Let's take a look at what countries whose governments have a bit of socialist influence are like. Lets look at Finland, or really any Nordic nation. They all follow a similar style of government. Health care is run by the government. When people get sick, they can go to the hospital and get cared for. If they don't have the money to pay out of pocket for a private hospital or doctor, then they will see whomever they're assigned to at the public hospital, and while it may not be perfect, they'll get the care they need. University tuition is free. There is also a monthly living stipend for all university students so that they won't go crazy trying to support themselves financially while studying, or go into insane amounts of debt for a degree. When people fall on hard times, there are social programs that will help them get back on their feet again. There is not a high percentage of people who just "live on the dole", so to speak, but there are safety nets, and people use them if necessary. There is mandatory paternity leave, and paid maternity leave. There is a living wage. Even the lowest wage earner can support their family and maintain a respectable standard of living. Then, when you get to a certain age (and no, it's not "when you keel over dead from the stress of your lifetime"), you can retire, and you'll receive a pension that will be enough to support you as you live out your years in generally decent health and well being.
Sounds like a great place, huh? You know what else? We have a very similar nation on our own soil, but they don't even know that they are this way. It's the US military. Look at it like this. Any national health system you look at has a lot in common with military healthcare in the US. We always paid a little bit out of pocket to choose our doctors and go to private hospitals, but if we hadn't had the money for that, we could have walked into the military hospital (equivalent of a public hospital), and gotten the care we needed. Lots of people do. No military person or dependent goes without their prescriptions because they can't afford them. They're free. No military person or dependent has to live in fear of their medical bills. The most they'd ever pay is $1000 a year, and that's if they elect for private care, and have something really awful and expensive go wrong (like the girl I know who was successfully treated for stage 4 brain cancer at one of the best hospitals in the nation. Her husband is in the Navy. Her million dollar surgery cost them $1000.) Most people don't pay anywhere near that much in a year.
But, Anna! There is no free tuition for military personnel! Um, yes there is. Haven't you heard of Army Tuition Assistance Program? It's free tuition, plain and simple. That's for when you're Active Duty. Then there's also the GI Bill for after you get out. When I was in, we had to pay $100 a month for the first 12 months of our enlistment for that, but now, soldiers don't even have to pay in to draw benefits. Not only that, but the Post 9/11 GI Bill has taken it one step further, and provided a monthly living stipend in addition to 100% tuition coverage. How very Nordic of them.
Add to that, the military's million safety nets, the fact that even the lowest Private can provide a 2 BR apartment and 3 meals a day for his family on what he's paid (What's that you say? A living wage?), the fact that every soldier who isn't deployed is given paid paternity leave, that female soldiers get fully paid maternity leave (too short, but still, paid), and that when you've served 20 or more years, you can retire and receive for the rest of your life a sizeable pension and all your benefits, and what you have is a pretty decent American flavored replica of any Scandinavian government you want to name.
The reason I've gone through highlighting all these points is to bring to light the totally nonsensical nature of the fact that the vast majority of military personnel and dependents vote Republican, fear socialists like they would alien invaders, and insist that in Amurrika, we don't do things like that. Um, unless you put on a uniform, right? Then you can have all the benefits of being taken care of (and bitching about it nonstop, might I add). Screw everyone else, though. They didn't earn it like you did.
I offer you this suggestion. Get outside the gates of post for a little while. Get to know some locals. See how they're living. Look at the people with the half decent jobs who still live in apartments and only have one car, or the ones working two or three jobs just to make ends meet. Notice how their lifestyles aren't extravagant at all, but they're basically slaves to their jobs because the economy has tanked so far that the cost of living has skyrocketed while there's hardly any such thing as a living wage these days. Look at how being a single income family is essentially taking a vow of poverty. If you get to know some civilians really well, ask them about what it cost the last time they went to the doctor, or had to take their kid to the ER. Ask them what the retirement plans their employer offers are like. Ask them how much time their husband got to stay home after they had their babies, and if they got paid for it. (We were only able to afford for Thak to take two days off when Chai was born. Some people can't afford that much.) You'll be shocked.
I'm not saying I think we should go to a purely socialist society. I actually think it's an unrealistic thing to expect this country to do, and the level of restructuring that it would require, would be just monumental. We can't get on the same page enough to do that. I see how it works on a practical and theoretical level, though, and I see what exists on our own soil. What I am saying, is that before voting, maybe take a real hard look at what's working in your own life, and vote for more of that stuff to happen. Hey, if you think Obamacare is the devil, then give up your Tricare. Vote for an Anarchist (can that even be done?!) who would disband the government and do away with all the safety nets and benefits you have, and would like to deny the rest of the country, because somehow, it's welfare unless it's you on the receiving end. Barring that, maybe you should vote for people who would perpetuate what's been working in your life. It would certainly be more honest.
Socialism has become a dirty word in the US. You can't go five minutes without hearing about how Obama is a socialist (obviously, these people do not know what a socialist is if they think he is one), or how the socialists in government are out to get us. Last I checked, the nearest country that has actual socialists in government is Canada, and they seem to be doing ok. Even so, the fact remains, there are no socialists in our government.
Let's take a look at what countries whose governments have a bit of socialist influence are like. Lets look at Finland, or really any Nordic nation. They all follow a similar style of government. Health care is run by the government. When people get sick, they can go to the hospital and get cared for. If they don't have the money to pay out of pocket for a private hospital or doctor, then they will see whomever they're assigned to at the public hospital, and while it may not be perfect, they'll get the care they need. University tuition is free. There is also a monthly living stipend for all university students so that they won't go crazy trying to support themselves financially while studying, or go into insane amounts of debt for a degree. When people fall on hard times, there are social programs that will help them get back on their feet again. There is not a high percentage of people who just "live on the dole", so to speak, but there are safety nets, and people use them if necessary. There is mandatory paternity leave, and paid maternity leave. There is a living wage. Even the lowest wage earner can support their family and maintain a respectable standard of living. Then, when you get to a certain age (and no, it's not "when you keel over dead from the stress of your lifetime"), you can retire, and you'll receive a pension that will be enough to support you as you live out your years in generally decent health and well being.
Sounds like a great place, huh? You know what else? We have a very similar nation on our own soil, but they don't even know that they are this way. It's the US military. Look at it like this. Any national health system you look at has a lot in common with military healthcare in the US. We always paid a little bit out of pocket to choose our doctors and go to private hospitals, but if we hadn't had the money for that, we could have walked into the military hospital (equivalent of a public hospital), and gotten the care we needed. Lots of people do. No military person or dependent goes without their prescriptions because they can't afford them. They're free. No military person or dependent has to live in fear of their medical bills. The most they'd ever pay is $1000 a year, and that's if they elect for private care, and have something really awful and expensive go wrong (like the girl I know who was successfully treated for stage 4 brain cancer at one of the best hospitals in the nation. Her husband is in the Navy. Her million dollar surgery cost them $1000.) Most people don't pay anywhere near that much in a year.
But, Anna! There is no free tuition for military personnel! Um, yes there is. Haven't you heard of Army Tuition Assistance Program? It's free tuition, plain and simple. That's for when you're Active Duty. Then there's also the GI Bill for after you get out. When I was in, we had to pay $100 a month for the first 12 months of our enlistment for that, but now, soldiers don't even have to pay in to draw benefits. Not only that, but the Post 9/11 GI Bill has taken it one step further, and provided a monthly living stipend in addition to 100% tuition coverage. How very Nordic of them.
Add to that, the military's million safety nets, the fact that even the lowest Private can provide a 2 BR apartment and 3 meals a day for his family on what he's paid (What's that you say? A living wage?), the fact that every soldier who isn't deployed is given paid paternity leave, that female soldiers get fully paid maternity leave (too short, but still, paid), and that when you've served 20 or more years, you can retire and receive for the rest of your life a sizeable pension and all your benefits, and what you have is a pretty decent American flavored replica of any Scandinavian government you want to name.
The reason I've gone through highlighting all these points is to bring to light the totally nonsensical nature of the fact that the vast majority of military personnel and dependents vote Republican, fear socialists like they would alien invaders, and insist that in Amurrika, we don't do things like that. Um, unless you put on a uniform, right? Then you can have all the benefits of being taken care of (and bitching about it nonstop, might I add). Screw everyone else, though. They didn't earn it like you did.
I offer you this suggestion. Get outside the gates of post for a little while. Get to know some locals. See how they're living. Look at the people with the half decent jobs who still live in apartments and only have one car, or the ones working two or three jobs just to make ends meet. Notice how their lifestyles aren't extravagant at all, but they're basically slaves to their jobs because the economy has tanked so far that the cost of living has skyrocketed while there's hardly any such thing as a living wage these days. Look at how being a single income family is essentially taking a vow of poverty. If you get to know some civilians really well, ask them about what it cost the last time they went to the doctor, or had to take their kid to the ER. Ask them what the retirement plans their employer offers are like. Ask them how much time their husband got to stay home after they had their babies, and if they got paid for it. (We were only able to afford for Thak to take two days off when Chai was born. Some people can't afford that much.) You'll be shocked.
I'm not saying I think we should go to a purely socialist society. I actually think it's an unrealistic thing to expect this country to do, and the level of restructuring that it would require, would be just monumental. We can't get on the same page enough to do that. I see how it works on a practical and theoretical level, though, and I see what exists on our own soil. What I am saying, is that before voting, maybe take a real hard look at what's working in your own life, and vote for more of that stuff to happen. Hey, if you think Obamacare is the devil, then give up your Tricare. Vote for an Anarchist (can that even be done?!) who would disband the government and do away with all the safety nets and benefits you have, and would like to deny the rest of the country, because somehow, it's welfare unless it's you on the receiving end. Barring that, maybe you should vote for people who would perpetuate what's been working in your life. It would certainly be more honest.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Voting: You're doing it wrong. Part 1
This is the first of a two part series on how people are screwing themselves, and maybe others, over at the ballot box all over the nation. It just goes along with a major pet peeve of mine. I can fully accept that people have different priorities, and that a representative government will have people of many points of view, because we're a diverse society. I embrace that about this country. What I cannot accept is people who blatantly vote wrong. By wrong, I don't mean voting for someone or something that/who doesn't benefit me. I mean voting for someone or something that goes totally against their own best interests.
I stumbled upon this today. Actually, I didn't as much stumble upon it as it was posted by an activist friend, so to her, I say thank you, because the timing was amazing. I was talking about this with Thak just last night. When I saw this picture, the first thought that popped into my head was of a friend of mine. He's a good guy, a fellow vet, and considers me a sister, as I consider him a brother. (I've also had this exact conversation with him, so don't think I'm talking behind his back.)
He's been on the outside longer than we have, and has been working so hard the whole time. Financially, he has struggled non-stop. The injuries which ended his Army career aren't severe enough for the VA to pay money for, and experience in a job with no civilian equivalent doesn't help him in the face of stiff competition for well paid jobs. He hasn't been able to finish his degree, although he's really smart, because he's had to work multiple jobs, and long hours, just to make ends meet. Currently, he does maintenance and janitorial work. His wife has to work, too. They have one child, and thankfully, she's school age now, which cuts down on the daycare costs. They barely make ends meet, and if something comes up, like an illness that causes one or the other of them to have to call into work for the day, an unexpected car repair, a higher than usual utility bill, it's pretty hard to deal with. Like most people, they find a way, but it's pretty obvious that it gets difficult sometimes.
He never stops trying to make a better life for his family. He has been trying to get into law enforcement for some time now, but old injuries and long waits for hiring have gotten in the way. He's trying again in the near future, and is preparing for it. Obviously, we are wishing him the very best in that. It would really improve life a lot for him to get a job with benefits, and better pay, and advancement potential. Every hardworking person deserves that, and he is a hardworking person.
Now, here's something that may or may not surprise you. My friend I just told you about votes Republican 100% of the time. I've made an effort to understand why exactly he does that, and I think I've got a fairly decent handle on it. First of all, Republicans are very vocal in their support of veterans (although, I must say, as a fellow vet, I do not feel that Democrats and third party candidates hate us by any stretch of the imagination). Also, for people who hold Christian beliefs, many times Republican candidates will represent some of the values they have. Of course, there's also the gun issue. Then there's the thing that Republicans always say about reducing taxes. Nobody likes to pay taxes. I always hated looking at my paychecks and seeing how much went out to some nondescript governmental purpose. Less of that is surely a good thing by most people's standards.
The problem is, that's only part of the picture. First of all, Republicans do like to cut taxes, but they mostly do that for corporations and the rich. Are you a corporation? Are you rich? No? Then they're probably not cutting your taxes by any significant degree. Maybe you'll see $5 more of your pay each month, but even that is doubtful. I cannot remember ever personally experiencing a tax cut under any president. Taxes in this country are totally screwed up, and I honestly don't think anyone has the right idea about it 100%, but I can tell you for a fact that a party that supports cutting taxes for corporations, while keeping them the same on the middle class (if that even exists anymore), is not a friend of the average Joe or Jane, even if they do pay a bunch of lip service, a couple times a year, to how much our time in the military meant to the nation when we were young, able, and crazy enough to lace up our boots, throw on our rucks, and volunteer.
What's more, how on earth are you going to be against help in getting health care when you work at a job with no benefits? This applies to a ton of workers out there. Most jobs don't have benefits anymore, and if they do, most of the employees can't afford them. I remember when Thak worked at BMW, and we were going through the benefits book to try to figure out what we wanted to sign up for. We ended up keeping Tricare through the Reserves for as long as we could afford it because it was less than half the price of the insurance that we could have bought through BMW. We did buy vision and dental insurance through BMW, but it wasn't like we could afford the copays of actually receiving care anyway, so we may as well have just kept the $40 a month that cost us. Republicans oppose the Affordable Care Act. The Affordable Care Act helps people who cannot currently afford to get healthcare. If you're one of those people, and a ton of people in the US are, then why would you vote Republican? I get that we're a nation of self made people. We don't want help. I understand that. Are you willing to die for it, though? (Literally. You get no healthcare, you could die.) Is opposing government paid healthcare your Baghdad International Airport, and do you fancy yourself the SFC Smith of this issue? If not, then maybe you don't want to vote Republican.
The fact is, society has changed. We were all brought up on this boot strap mentality. We've all heard the stories of our great-great-great-grandparents who came over on the boat from whatever awful place they came from, with nothing more than the clothes on their backs and their 14 brothers and sisters, and were millionaires by the time they died at a ripe old age. We've grown up knowing that the American dream is real, that if we work hard, we'll get where we're going. We may never be rich, but we'll own a house, and live comfortably, and take a vacation to St Augustine, or Yellowstone, or South Padre Island, for a week every year. That's all changed, though. The only thing that's the same is our mentality and our attitude that people who are struggling somehow did something wrong and should fix it themselves, because it is for damned sure not anyone else's responsibility to do it for them.
I think that's one thing that surprised me most about when Thak got out of the Army and our life pretty much imploded. We had never considered our lifestyle extravagant. 3 BR house in a safe neighborhood, 3 kids, 3 pets, 2 American made cars in the driveway. We thought we were mighty thrifty. Then Thak got out of the Army and it all came crashing down. We landed in a 2 BR apartment, with 1 car, and all the remnants of our old life shoved into these tiny rooms. The whole time, I kept thinking, "What have we done?" and "Where did we go wrong?" because we Americans honestly have bought the line that if you don't screw up, things will be ok, and the inverse, if things aren't ok, you screwed up somewhere. I know I did. So here I was, wracking my brain, trying to figure out where I screwed up, and totally embarrassed to be struggling because I just knew everyone would talk terribly about us, because obviously, if you're struggling, you're stupid, and nobody likes to be thought of as stupid.
Here's the thing, America. It's time to put that mentality down. A lot has changed between the time when that stuff was true, and now. We are mostly the same, but the framework we have to live in is completely different. Think about it this way. When our parents were the age we are now, they all owned houses, were either working in their careers that they'd have forever, or well on their way to that, and not moving around all the time. Yet, here we are, in our 30's, renting apartments just like what we lived in as freshmen in college, and in some cases, fighting like hell to forge a place for ourselves that will maintain us for the long term. Why is that? Obviously, the world has changed. Our mentality needs to change, too. First things first, though. Stop voting for people who are going to completely screw you. Unless you are a straight, white, rich, single, childless, male, CEO of a Fortune 500 corporation, from a well established family, with several off shore bank accounts, then Republicans probably aren't the best people to represent your interests.
He's been on the outside longer than we have, and has been working so hard the whole time. Financially, he has struggled non-stop. The injuries which ended his Army career aren't severe enough for the VA to pay money for, and experience in a job with no civilian equivalent doesn't help him in the face of stiff competition for well paid jobs. He hasn't been able to finish his degree, although he's really smart, because he's had to work multiple jobs, and long hours, just to make ends meet. Currently, he does maintenance and janitorial work. His wife has to work, too. They have one child, and thankfully, she's school age now, which cuts down on the daycare costs. They barely make ends meet, and if something comes up, like an illness that causes one or the other of them to have to call into work for the day, an unexpected car repair, a higher than usual utility bill, it's pretty hard to deal with. Like most people, they find a way, but it's pretty obvious that it gets difficult sometimes.
He never stops trying to make a better life for his family. He has been trying to get into law enforcement for some time now, but old injuries and long waits for hiring have gotten in the way. He's trying again in the near future, and is preparing for it. Obviously, we are wishing him the very best in that. It would really improve life a lot for him to get a job with benefits, and better pay, and advancement potential. Every hardworking person deserves that, and he is a hardworking person.
Now, here's something that may or may not surprise you. My friend I just told you about votes Republican 100% of the time. I've made an effort to understand why exactly he does that, and I think I've got a fairly decent handle on it. First of all, Republicans are very vocal in their support of veterans (although, I must say, as a fellow vet, I do not feel that Democrats and third party candidates hate us by any stretch of the imagination). Also, for people who hold Christian beliefs, many times Republican candidates will represent some of the values they have. Of course, there's also the gun issue. Then there's the thing that Republicans always say about reducing taxes. Nobody likes to pay taxes. I always hated looking at my paychecks and seeing how much went out to some nondescript governmental purpose. Less of that is surely a good thing by most people's standards.
The problem is, that's only part of the picture. First of all, Republicans do like to cut taxes, but they mostly do that for corporations and the rich. Are you a corporation? Are you rich? No? Then they're probably not cutting your taxes by any significant degree. Maybe you'll see $5 more of your pay each month, but even that is doubtful. I cannot remember ever personally experiencing a tax cut under any president. Taxes in this country are totally screwed up, and I honestly don't think anyone has the right idea about it 100%, but I can tell you for a fact that a party that supports cutting taxes for corporations, while keeping them the same on the middle class (if that even exists anymore), is not a friend of the average Joe or Jane, even if they do pay a bunch of lip service, a couple times a year, to how much our time in the military meant to the nation when we were young, able, and crazy enough to lace up our boots, throw on our rucks, and volunteer.
What's more, how on earth are you going to be against help in getting health care when you work at a job with no benefits? This applies to a ton of workers out there. Most jobs don't have benefits anymore, and if they do, most of the employees can't afford them. I remember when Thak worked at BMW, and we were going through the benefits book to try to figure out what we wanted to sign up for. We ended up keeping Tricare through the Reserves for as long as we could afford it because it was less than half the price of the insurance that we could have bought through BMW. We did buy vision and dental insurance through BMW, but it wasn't like we could afford the copays of actually receiving care anyway, so we may as well have just kept the $40 a month that cost us. Republicans oppose the Affordable Care Act. The Affordable Care Act helps people who cannot currently afford to get healthcare. If you're one of those people, and a ton of people in the US are, then why would you vote Republican? I get that we're a nation of self made people. We don't want help. I understand that. Are you willing to die for it, though? (Literally. You get no healthcare, you could die.) Is opposing government paid healthcare your Baghdad International Airport, and do you fancy yourself the SFC Smith of this issue? If not, then maybe you don't want to vote Republican.
The fact is, society has changed. We were all brought up on this boot strap mentality. We've all heard the stories of our great-great-great-grandparents who came over on the boat from whatever awful place they came from, with nothing more than the clothes on their backs and their 14 brothers and sisters, and were millionaires by the time they died at a ripe old age. We've grown up knowing that the American dream is real, that if we work hard, we'll get where we're going. We may never be rich, but we'll own a house, and live comfortably, and take a vacation to St Augustine, or Yellowstone, or South Padre Island, for a week every year. That's all changed, though. The only thing that's the same is our mentality and our attitude that people who are struggling somehow did something wrong and should fix it themselves, because it is for damned sure not anyone else's responsibility to do it for them.
I think that's one thing that surprised me most about when Thak got out of the Army and our life pretty much imploded. We had never considered our lifestyle extravagant. 3 BR house in a safe neighborhood, 3 kids, 3 pets, 2 American made cars in the driveway. We thought we were mighty thrifty. Then Thak got out of the Army and it all came crashing down. We landed in a 2 BR apartment, with 1 car, and all the remnants of our old life shoved into these tiny rooms. The whole time, I kept thinking, "What have we done?" and "Where did we go wrong?" because we Americans honestly have bought the line that if you don't screw up, things will be ok, and the inverse, if things aren't ok, you screwed up somewhere. I know I did. So here I was, wracking my brain, trying to figure out where I screwed up, and totally embarrassed to be struggling because I just knew everyone would talk terribly about us, because obviously, if you're struggling, you're stupid, and nobody likes to be thought of as stupid.
Here's the thing, America. It's time to put that mentality down. A lot has changed between the time when that stuff was true, and now. We are mostly the same, but the framework we have to live in is completely different. Think about it this way. When our parents were the age we are now, they all owned houses, were either working in their careers that they'd have forever, or well on their way to that, and not moving around all the time. Yet, here we are, in our 30's, renting apartments just like what we lived in as freshmen in college, and in some cases, fighting like hell to forge a place for ourselves that will maintain us for the long term. Why is that? Obviously, the world has changed. Our mentality needs to change, too. First things first, though. Stop voting for people who are going to completely screw you. Unless you are a straight, white, rich, single, childless, male, CEO of a Fortune 500 corporation, from a well established family, with several off shore bank accounts, then Republicans probably aren't the best people to represent your interests.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
It's an election year. Draw ALL the lines in the sand.
It's that time again. In this age of social media, it seems even more in our collective face, just how diverse our group of friends really is, and that applies to anybody. I don't care who you are, short of hiding under a rock, after crushing your iPhone with said rock, and donating your computer to the homeless, you can't get away from your friends' politics in 2012. With that said, I have a few messages for all my groups of friends.
Dear Democrat friends,
I love you guys. I really do. I share your enthusiasm for marriage equality, the Affordable Care Act, and regulating GMO foods. Also, even though your guy hasn't done the greatest job of ending the wars as fast as I'd hoped he would, he's done a lot better than his predecessor, so I'm not going to hate on him for that. I also share your disdain for Mitt Romney. I'm pretty undecided on what should be done about the tax code. You guys are killing me with some of the stuff you're coming up with as far as that goes. While I think that the tax code needs revision, and the richest among us should pay their rightful share of taxes just like everybody else, I think blatant redistribution of wealth is kind of wrong, so maybe you want to sandwich that message a little more. Otherwise, keep doing what you're doing. You guys don't suck.
Dear Republican friends,
You guys are killing me. I like you guys as people. Really I do, but what the hell are you smoking? Did you not see what 8 years of the crap you guys are trying to promote did to our country before? You cannot possibly think that going to war with Iran is a good idea, and please, for the love of all that is holy, tell me you'll be writing in someone's name and not voting for Mittens. Being that you are generally intelligent people, I have more faith in you than to vote for that guy. Otherwise, what is up with all the hating on the gays? What did they ever do to you? Since most of you consider yourselves constitutionalists, please show me in the constitution where it says who can and cannot get married here. It's not in there. I simply cannot understand why you're against marriage equality, or would want more war. I love everything you guys say about gun rights, veterans' issues, and auditing the fed. Since those things seem to be a pretty common thread between all of you, why not write in Ron Paul when you vote? We all know he really won the nomination anyway.
Dear Libertarian friends,
I love nearly everything from you guys, on a theoretical level. End the wars, audit the fed, own assault rifles, legalize marijuana, etc. I love it all. The issue is, this message must be brought to the people before they will realize how good it is for them. You guys do realize that with how crappy the Republican party has ended up being in recent years, we have a real shot at putting a third party candidate in the white house in the very near future. What needs to happen is that there needs to be less focus on talking trash about the use of UAV's in Afghanistan (because really, that's getting so old), and more talk about how to get Gary Johnson into the main presidential debate. The problem with Libertarians is that there are too many battles to pick, and you guys stay so divided. There are the gun rights Libertarians, the marijuana Libertarians, the tax code Libertarians, and so on... Get it together, people. For once, try to have some form of a united front, even though that almost goes against the entire premise of Libertarianism. It could work. Give it a shot. ;-)
Dear Democrat friends,
I love you guys. I really do. I share your enthusiasm for marriage equality, the Affordable Care Act, and regulating GMO foods. Also, even though your guy hasn't done the greatest job of ending the wars as fast as I'd hoped he would, he's done a lot better than his predecessor, so I'm not going to hate on him for that. I also share your disdain for Mitt Romney. I'm pretty undecided on what should be done about the tax code. You guys are killing me with some of the stuff you're coming up with as far as that goes. While I think that the tax code needs revision, and the richest among us should pay their rightful share of taxes just like everybody else, I think blatant redistribution of wealth is kind of wrong, so maybe you want to sandwich that message a little more. Otherwise, keep doing what you're doing. You guys don't suck.
Dear Republican friends,
You guys are killing me. I like you guys as people. Really I do, but what the hell are you smoking? Did you not see what 8 years of the crap you guys are trying to promote did to our country before? You cannot possibly think that going to war with Iran is a good idea, and please, for the love of all that is holy, tell me you'll be writing in someone's name and not voting for Mittens. Being that you are generally intelligent people, I have more faith in you than to vote for that guy. Otherwise, what is up with all the hating on the gays? What did they ever do to you? Since most of you consider yourselves constitutionalists, please show me in the constitution where it says who can and cannot get married here. It's not in there. I simply cannot understand why you're against marriage equality, or would want more war. I love everything you guys say about gun rights, veterans' issues, and auditing the fed. Since those things seem to be a pretty common thread between all of you, why not write in Ron Paul when you vote? We all know he really won the nomination anyway.
Dear Libertarian friends,
I love nearly everything from you guys, on a theoretical level. End the wars, audit the fed, own assault rifles, legalize marijuana, etc. I love it all. The issue is, this message must be brought to the people before they will realize how good it is for them. You guys do realize that with how crappy the Republican party has ended up being in recent years, we have a real shot at putting a third party candidate in the white house in the very near future. What needs to happen is that there needs to be less focus on talking trash about the use of UAV's in Afghanistan (because really, that's getting so old), and more talk about how to get Gary Johnson into the main presidential debate. The problem with Libertarians is that there are too many battles to pick, and you guys stay so divided. There are the gun rights Libertarians, the marijuana Libertarians, the tax code Libertarians, and so on... Get it together, people. For once, try to have some form of a united front, even though that almost goes against the entire premise of Libertarianism. It could work. Give it a shot. ;-)
Friday, August 3, 2012
No move this year. Maybe year after next.
Some people know about the research and development job Thak was trying to get in my hometown. He has decided not to go for that right now, and instead, to deploy with his current job next year. While neither of us likes the idea of him deploying, his reasoning is sound, and I think he made the right, albeit difficult, choice.
First of all, he hasn't been with this firm for very long. It doesn't look very good for his resume if he has only a short time at each of his civilian jobs. He needs to stick with this one for longer. Even if the other firm did have an opening, they wouldn't hire him with only 8 months at each of his two civilian jobs anyway. That's not the kind of job history that just screams stability.
The other thing is, we can't afford to move even if he did get hired. When he deploys, he'll make a bunch of money, we'll pay off every dime we owe to anybody (car, student loans, etc), and have more to spare. We will be able to afford to move, just in case that other job comes through at some point after that. If it doesn't, well, he'll stay with this firm. It's a good firm, and a good job. We don't actually dislike a thing about it minus the deployments. It's just that this place isn't somewhere we can really see ourselves living for the rest of our lives. The only reason we'd leave is to go somewhere that fits us better.
It's a hard decision, and I know he didn't take it lightly. Neither of us wants him to deploy. It's just that, at this point, this is the way it has to be. He has to do this to fix the mess getting out of the Army put us into. It's what Drill Sergeant always said about taking the hard right over the easy wrong.
Now I know what this kicks off. It'll be just like it was the last time we lived here. All anyone will ever want to talk to me about is deployments. Here's what I know, so that people can just, like, talk about something else. We do have a month that the unit is slated for. It is in the earlier part of 2013. These things nearly always change, but it would actually be kind of good if this one did not. The timing would be, if ever there is such a thing with deployments, the best case scenario. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. It's a ways off. Don't worry about it yet. The only relevant news at this point is that Thak has made his choice, and when the unit deploys, he'll be with them.
First of all, he hasn't been with this firm for very long. It doesn't look very good for his resume if he has only a short time at each of his civilian jobs. He needs to stick with this one for longer. Even if the other firm did have an opening, they wouldn't hire him with only 8 months at each of his two civilian jobs anyway. That's not the kind of job history that just screams stability.
The other thing is, we can't afford to move even if he did get hired. When he deploys, he'll make a bunch of money, we'll pay off every dime we owe to anybody (car, student loans, etc), and have more to spare. We will be able to afford to move, just in case that other job comes through at some point after that. If it doesn't, well, he'll stay with this firm. It's a good firm, and a good job. We don't actually dislike a thing about it minus the deployments. It's just that this place isn't somewhere we can really see ourselves living for the rest of our lives. The only reason we'd leave is to go somewhere that fits us better.
It's a hard decision, and I know he didn't take it lightly. Neither of us wants him to deploy. It's just that, at this point, this is the way it has to be. He has to do this to fix the mess getting out of the Army put us into. It's what Drill Sergeant always said about taking the hard right over the easy wrong.
Now I know what this kicks off. It'll be just like it was the last time we lived here. All anyone will ever want to talk to me about is deployments. Here's what I know, so that people can just, like, talk about something else. We do have a month that the unit is slated for. It is in the earlier part of 2013. These things nearly always change, but it would actually be kind of good if this one did not. The timing would be, if ever there is such a thing with deployments, the best case scenario. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. It's a ways off. Don't worry about it yet. The only relevant news at this point is that Thak has made his choice, and when the unit deploys, he'll be with them.
Thursday, August 2, 2012
So... I don't have wisdom teeth anymore.
Well, that statement is about 3/4 of the way true. I kept one of them because I use it, and am missing a molar on that side (root canal when I was 15, never got a crown for it, joined the Army 4 years later, and they pulled it). The others fit ok, too, but the top ones caused all kinds of bad alignment including an overbite, and the other lower one was just kind of crowded, and was getting some big nasty cavities that would be nearly impossible to fix, given its position. Therefore, at the age of 30, 6 years after they came in, I had 3/4 of my wisdom teeth removed. I didn't realize how odd it is to get your wisdom teeth removed after age 21, but I didn't even have them until I was 24, so it kind of figures.
At my consult with the oral surgeon (I was referred there because one of my top wisdom teeth was broken and had the possibility of having to be cut out), they asked me if I wanted to be awake or asleep. I figured awake. I mean, they weren't impacted. It should be quick and easy, right? The nurse thought that was crazy, and said that sometimes if it gets complicated, they have to have people come back and be sedated instead to finish the job. Sold. I'm doing this exactly once, and that's that. IV sedation it is. At that same appointment, the surgeon had a look at my wisdom teeth and said it should take him no more than 15 minutes to get them out, thought it would be an easy job. That was good news. I definitely like when the guy who does this stuff for a living seems to think it'll be simple.
A week later, it was time to have it done. I was given a pill called Halcion, which would help with the sedation. They told me it's similar to Valium. My RN friend Judy told me it's the same stuff they used for twilight births way back in the day. I didn't know that, but after taking it, I kind of believe it. I took the Halcion at 7:45, an hour before my appointment. Then everything got a little hazy. It was nothing like in the Army, when my buddy Scott took that stuff before having his wisdom teeth out, and passed out so hard we had to carry him down the stairs of the barracks. I just started to feel really relaxed, and in a haze. I went and sat in the car as Thak got the kids ready. I remember putting my purse in the diaper bag so that it wouldn't get lost. Then before I knew it, we were on our way to Statesboro. I vaguely remember seeing the street where we needed to turn, and hoping Thak would remember it. Then I remember getting out of the car, and sitting on the steps of the office while Thak unloaded the kids.
When we got inside, things got even hazier. I signed in, and remember thinking it was a good sign that my name was on line 7 of the sign in sheet (it was on line 13 the first time I was there. I don't like 7's or 13's on their own, but I like them together). Next thing I remember, I was being called back to get prepped, and the nurse laughed because I picked up Chai and was bringing him with me. I vaguely remember handing him to Thak, and then seeing Thak and the kids taken back to a room to see a video on how to care for me post-op, and being lead past there to the room. I remember seeing an IV bag hanging from the ceiling, and being a little freaked out by that, and also a tray full of scary looking instruments which freaked me out a little, too, but I was too groggy to say or do anything about it, so I just sat there. I remember that the IV hurt going in, being asked Thak's name twice, and how old the kids are, reminding me not to breastfeed for the rest of the day, and hearing a couple of nurses talk about how pretty Orren's hair is. The last thing I remember was having a block put in my mouth to keep it open.
After that, the next thing I remember was Thak lifting me out of a wheelchair, and helping me into the car. Then the drive home took what seemed like forever. It was only like 40 minutes, though. I don't remember coming in the house, but I do remember Thak taking my shoes off, and helping me into the bed.
I woke up about 4 hours later, not in any pain, but really thirsty because I hadn't been able to have anything to eat or drink from midnight the night prior. I took the gauze out of my mouth, and drank some water. Thak came in at some point, and checked on me. He said we were in and out of the office in 45 minutes, that Erin and Orren, who had been watching a movie on Netflix on my phone, didn't even finish their movie before it was time to go. At some point, he had run to Claxton to get my prescriptions and had gone to the grocery store for lots of pudding, ramen, soup, and jello, just anything he thought I could eat, while he was waiting for the prescriptions to be filled. He explained all my prescriptions to me (antibiotic, steroid to prevent swelling, Vicodin for pain, and an anti-nausea drug just in case), then for the rest of the day, kept the soft foods coming, while I napped on and off, sleeping off the rest of the anesthesia.
All in all, it was easier than I thought it would be. I didn't have any swelling, and only one tiny bruise that should go away in a couple weeks or less. I haven't had to take any pain medication or anti-nausea medication. Well, I did take a couple Tylenol early on, but no Vicodin. I already couldn't nurse Chai for 24 hours due to the anesthesia, so I wasn't going to extend that out any. Vicodin is supposedly safe for breastfeeding, but I didn't want to chance it unless it was absolutely necessary. Luckily, it did not become necessary. That's probably because I ended up needing no cutting at all, just straight up simple extractions. That definitely makes for an easier recovery.
Thak did great the whole day. He cared for the kids all by himself, and didn't even yell at them, and he took care of me, and didn't act like it was a pain. I just texted him when I needed anything, and he'd bring it to me. Today, he's back to work, and I'm still doing great. I still have no swelling, still staying on top of the antibiotics, and need no pain medication. I even had coffee this morning! (I cooled it down to body temperature, just like the soups I ate yesterday. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to have hot drinks yet.) All in all, I wish I'd done this years ago, but Thak never had time to help me with the kids in order for me to get it done. I'm just glad to have it over with now. It wasn't half as bad as people said it was. Honestly, the worst part was that the one day Thak's cooking actually smelled edible, I couldn't eat any of whatever it was that he made! All in all, though, I am well on my way to recovery, now more than 24 hours afterward, and I am so happy to have cut the wisdom teeth population down by 75%. Things can only get better from here.
At my consult with the oral surgeon (I was referred there because one of my top wisdom teeth was broken and had the possibility of having to be cut out), they asked me if I wanted to be awake or asleep. I figured awake. I mean, they weren't impacted. It should be quick and easy, right? The nurse thought that was crazy, and said that sometimes if it gets complicated, they have to have people come back and be sedated instead to finish the job. Sold. I'm doing this exactly once, and that's that. IV sedation it is. At that same appointment, the surgeon had a look at my wisdom teeth and said it should take him no more than 15 minutes to get them out, thought it would be an easy job. That was good news. I definitely like when the guy who does this stuff for a living seems to think it'll be simple.
A week later, it was time to have it done. I was given a pill called Halcion, which would help with the sedation. They told me it's similar to Valium. My RN friend Judy told me it's the same stuff they used for twilight births way back in the day. I didn't know that, but after taking it, I kind of believe it. I took the Halcion at 7:45, an hour before my appointment. Then everything got a little hazy. It was nothing like in the Army, when my buddy Scott took that stuff before having his wisdom teeth out, and passed out so hard we had to carry him down the stairs of the barracks. I just started to feel really relaxed, and in a haze. I went and sat in the car as Thak got the kids ready. I remember putting my purse in the diaper bag so that it wouldn't get lost. Then before I knew it, we were on our way to Statesboro. I vaguely remember seeing the street where we needed to turn, and hoping Thak would remember it. Then I remember getting out of the car, and sitting on the steps of the office while Thak unloaded the kids.
When we got inside, things got even hazier. I signed in, and remember thinking it was a good sign that my name was on line 7 of the sign in sheet (it was on line 13 the first time I was there. I don't like 7's or 13's on their own, but I like them together). Next thing I remember, I was being called back to get prepped, and the nurse laughed because I picked up Chai and was bringing him with me. I vaguely remember handing him to Thak, and then seeing Thak and the kids taken back to a room to see a video on how to care for me post-op, and being lead past there to the room. I remember seeing an IV bag hanging from the ceiling, and being a little freaked out by that, and also a tray full of scary looking instruments which freaked me out a little, too, but I was too groggy to say or do anything about it, so I just sat there. I remember that the IV hurt going in, being asked Thak's name twice, and how old the kids are, reminding me not to breastfeed for the rest of the day, and hearing a couple of nurses talk about how pretty Orren's hair is. The last thing I remember was having a block put in my mouth to keep it open.
After that, the next thing I remember was Thak lifting me out of a wheelchair, and helping me into the car. Then the drive home took what seemed like forever. It was only like 40 minutes, though. I don't remember coming in the house, but I do remember Thak taking my shoes off, and helping me into the bed.
I woke up about 4 hours later, not in any pain, but really thirsty because I hadn't been able to have anything to eat or drink from midnight the night prior. I took the gauze out of my mouth, and drank some water. Thak came in at some point, and checked on me. He said we were in and out of the office in 45 minutes, that Erin and Orren, who had been watching a movie on Netflix on my phone, didn't even finish their movie before it was time to go. At some point, he had run to Claxton to get my prescriptions and had gone to the grocery store for lots of pudding, ramen, soup, and jello, just anything he thought I could eat, while he was waiting for the prescriptions to be filled. He explained all my prescriptions to me (antibiotic, steroid to prevent swelling, Vicodin for pain, and an anti-nausea drug just in case), then for the rest of the day, kept the soft foods coming, while I napped on and off, sleeping off the rest of the anesthesia.
All in all, it was easier than I thought it would be. I didn't have any swelling, and only one tiny bruise that should go away in a couple weeks or less. I haven't had to take any pain medication or anti-nausea medication. Well, I did take a couple Tylenol early on, but no Vicodin. I already couldn't nurse Chai for 24 hours due to the anesthesia, so I wasn't going to extend that out any. Vicodin is supposedly safe for breastfeeding, but I didn't want to chance it unless it was absolutely necessary. Luckily, it did not become necessary. That's probably because I ended up needing no cutting at all, just straight up simple extractions. That definitely makes for an easier recovery.
Thak did great the whole day. He cared for the kids all by himself, and didn't even yell at them, and he took care of me, and didn't act like it was a pain. I just texted him when I needed anything, and he'd bring it to me. Today, he's back to work, and I'm still doing great. I still have no swelling, still staying on top of the antibiotics, and need no pain medication. I even had coffee this morning! (I cooled it down to body temperature, just like the soups I ate yesterday. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to have hot drinks yet.) All in all, I wish I'd done this years ago, but Thak never had time to help me with the kids in order for me to get it done. I'm just glad to have it over with now. It wasn't half as bad as people said it was. Honestly, the worst part was that the one day Thak's cooking actually smelled edible, I couldn't eat any of whatever it was that he made! All in all, though, I am well on my way to recovery, now more than 24 hours afterward, and I am so happy to have cut the wisdom teeth population down by 75%. Things can only get better from here.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Chick-Fil-A, because you knew I couldn't leave this alone.
Disclaimer: Yes, many friends of mine have various views on this topic. I'm not looking to alienate anyone, although for all the ugly crap I've seen posted online, or heard said, by people I actually like over the course of the past few days, I think this will be pretty mild. Also, keep in mind, I had my wisdom teeth out this morning under general anesthesia, and am sort of groggy, so excuse any typos.
So Chick-Fil-A (herein and throughout called CFA) hates the gays? Shocker. A company that closes all its stores on Sundays, openly promotes that they're Christian owned, and has been known to have a clause about "sexual deviance" in their employment paperwork, hates the gays. Who'd have thunk it?
With that said, I don't actually have a problem with that. Fine. Hate the gays. I don't. I happen to love the gays, but I also understand that gay rights are the last frontier of civil rights, and that we're in the throes of the fight for those rights at this very moment. I know that most of the people who think being gay is a sin, or an abomination, or whatever thing they are calling it today, will learn to accept it, or at least look away, within the years that follow LGBT Americans being conferred full civil rights, including the right to marry. People will get used to it, just like they've gotten used to a lack of slave ownership, women voting, using the same bathrooms as people of other races, and even the shocking and appalling legality of interracial marriage. (For anyone who doesn't know, I'm joking about it being shocking and appalling. I have many things in common with my husband, but race isn't one of them.) Anyway, the idea is, this gay hating is going to die down, and I'm not going to rail against it too hard in general, unless it's really in my face, because these people are going to get the idea. I have enough faith in the world to believe that good wins over evil eventually, and that LGBT people will have the right to do whatever we hetero types do, and that it will be within the next few years.
The issue with CFA is not that the CEO's son said that he's anti-gay. Let us be very clear that nobody is saying he shouldn't have said that, or trying to get in the way of his free speech. He can say whatever he wants.
Now, here is the first issue with it. It is also our right to boycott the company in light of this fact. Why on earth would I want to give a dime to a company whose owners honestly believe that my kids' favorite uncles should just go to hell, just because they're gay? The fact that some fundie Christian assholios have the stones to say, usually with a smug smile on their face, "Well, tolerance goes both ways." and imply that we should continue funneling money to these homophobic losers, is ridiculous. Do you buy condoms at Planned Parenthood just for kicks, because hey, they're cheaper there, and tolerance goes both ways, even though it goes totally against your personal philosophy to buy from an organization that performs abortions? Of course not! I'd never expect you to. Go buy your Trojans somewhere else, and I'll buy my chicken somewhere else. This is America, and we have that choice. Expecting that we'll spend money with a company whose morals we find absolutely disgusting, is ridiculous, and I'd never ask it of you.
The second issue with it is that what this guy said is not even the tip of the iceberg. Honestly, if it were just words, I'd have read the news story, shrugged, said something like, "Big surprise there", and gone about my business. The real issue, and this is what I'm having the hardest time getting people to understand, is that CFA donates millions of dollars to anti-gay organizations every year. One is the Family Research Center, which is officially classified as a hate group (against gays). Yeah, that's exactly who I want to spend my money with. Granted, I know my couple times a year CFA purchases probably put less than two cents toward that initiative, but that's two cents too many. Why should we be expected to let this slide, not boycott, not tell people about it, and just say, "Hey, it's their choice. It's a free country." That's totally idiotic. Oh, and please tell me about the last time you expressed total acceptance toward the KKK. I mean, they're just doing their thing, and their opinions and actions are generally within the realm of legality as well. Tolerance goes both ways, you know. No?
As ugly as it has gotten, maybe this CFA thing is just what America needed to finally bring LGBT rights front and center, and get over our collective hang-ups with it. Sure, the social conservatives are railing hard against it, but I get the feeling that it's their last stand. Some of my staunchly Republican friends are even disgusted with what CFA donates to, and have taken the "leave the gays alone and let them marry, then shut up about it" position, which I totally respect. Change is happening. I feel like this is just one part of it. Nobody ever said it would be pretty. Hang on, guys. It seems we're in for a bit of a ride, but I think the rewards will be worth it when we're no longer the most backward country in the entire western world.
So Chick-Fil-A (herein and throughout called CFA) hates the gays? Shocker. A company that closes all its stores on Sundays, openly promotes that they're Christian owned, and has been known to have a clause about "sexual deviance" in their employment paperwork, hates the gays. Who'd have thunk it?
With that said, I don't actually have a problem with that. Fine. Hate the gays. I don't. I happen to love the gays, but I also understand that gay rights are the last frontier of civil rights, and that we're in the throes of the fight for those rights at this very moment. I know that most of the people who think being gay is a sin, or an abomination, or whatever thing they are calling it today, will learn to accept it, or at least look away, within the years that follow LGBT Americans being conferred full civil rights, including the right to marry. People will get used to it, just like they've gotten used to a lack of slave ownership, women voting, using the same bathrooms as people of other races, and even the shocking and appalling legality of interracial marriage. (For anyone who doesn't know, I'm joking about it being shocking and appalling. I have many things in common with my husband, but race isn't one of them.) Anyway, the idea is, this gay hating is going to die down, and I'm not going to rail against it too hard in general, unless it's really in my face, because these people are going to get the idea. I have enough faith in the world to believe that good wins over evil eventually, and that LGBT people will have the right to do whatever we hetero types do, and that it will be within the next few years.
The issue with CFA is not that the CEO's son said that he's anti-gay. Let us be very clear that nobody is saying he shouldn't have said that, or trying to get in the way of his free speech. He can say whatever he wants.
Now, here is the first issue with it. It is also our right to boycott the company in light of this fact. Why on earth would I want to give a dime to a company whose owners honestly believe that my kids' favorite uncles should just go to hell, just because they're gay? The fact that some fundie Christian assholios have the stones to say, usually with a smug smile on their face, "Well, tolerance goes both ways." and imply that we should continue funneling money to these homophobic losers, is ridiculous. Do you buy condoms at Planned Parenthood just for kicks, because hey, they're cheaper there, and tolerance goes both ways, even though it goes totally against your personal philosophy to buy from an organization that performs abortions? Of course not! I'd never expect you to. Go buy your Trojans somewhere else, and I'll buy my chicken somewhere else. This is America, and we have that choice. Expecting that we'll spend money with a company whose morals we find absolutely disgusting, is ridiculous, and I'd never ask it of you.
The second issue with it is that what this guy said is not even the tip of the iceberg. Honestly, if it were just words, I'd have read the news story, shrugged, said something like, "Big surprise there", and gone about my business. The real issue, and this is what I'm having the hardest time getting people to understand, is that CFA donates millions of dollars to anti-gay organizations every year. One is the Family Research Center, which is officially classified as a hate group (against gays). Yeah, that's exactly who I want to spend my money with. Granted, I know my couple times a year CFA purchases probably put less than two cents toward that initiative, but that's two cents too many. Why should we be expected to let this slide, not boycott, not tell people about it, and just say, "Hey, it's their choice. It's a free country." That's totally idiotic. Oh, and please tell me about the last time you expressed total acceptance toward the KKK. I mean, they're just doing their thing, and their opinions and actions are generally within the realm of legality as well. Tolerance goes both ways, you know. No?
As ugly as it has gotten, maybe this CFA thing is just what America needed to finally bring LGBT rights front and center, and get over our collective hang-ups with it. Sure, the social conservatives are railing hard against it, but I get the feeling that it's their last stand. Some of my staunchly Republican friends are even disgusted with what CFA donates to, and have taken the "leave the gays alone and let them marry, then shut up about it" position, which I totally respect. Change is happening. I feel like this is just one part of it. Nobody ever said it would be pretty. Hang on, guys. It seems we're in for a bit of a ride, but I think the rewards will be worth it when we're no longer the most backward country in the entire western world.
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