With Orren's 3rd birthday approaching in just a few weeks, we revisit the topic of carseat safety, as we always seem to on his birthdays. It was the day after his first birthday that we installed our Britax Diplomat rear-facing in Thak's brother's car, when we went to Minnesota Children's Museum, and were officially "extended rear-facing", because although we could have turned him forward-facing by law and by product specs, we chose not to. On his second birthday, again, we chose to keep him rear-facing, thus exceeding the American Academy of Pediatrics minimum guideline for rear-facing. On each of these occasions, we knew that the choice was ours, but we chose to keep Orren rear-facing because it is 5x safer than forward-facing, and he's not at all unhappy that way, so we saw no reason to turn him forward-facing, and many compelling reasons to leave him rear-facing.
As we approach his third birthday, we also approach the age when we had said we would consider forward facing him. Our rear-facing goal was 3, and we're going to make it, in one of our vehicles anyway. In the car, which he rides in well over 95% of the time, he is still rear-facing in his Radian. He outgrew the rear-facing height limit of his Britax, which is in the truck, when he was 2.5 years old, and has been forward-facing on the rare occasions he rides in the truck, ever since. This has allowed us to sort of ease into the concept of him forward-facing, so it's not as scary, even though we still don't take the decision lightly. The fact is, he will be forward-facing full time one of these days, and since he's already doing it on occasion when he rides in the truck, it's forced us not to be in denial about the fact that we're going to have to turn him eventually.
I think a lot of carseat safety conscious parents psych themselves out so much about the benefits of extended rear-facing, that forward-facing gets demonized to the point that it's really scary to turn the carseat around when it's time. Watch enough crash test videos, hear enough stories about kids who have died of injuries that would never have happened if they were rear-facing, and learn every statistic about how much safer rear-facing is, and see if the thought of your kid forward-facing doesn't scare you just a bit. We arm ourselves with this knowledge so that we can correct the people who tell us we're crazy for going beyond a year and 20 pounds, and so that we can inform people who are in need of better information. We all know, beyond a doubt, that a step up in carseats is a step down in safety, and I don't think any of us look forward to taking that step down when we have to.
So, the million dollar question is, will we be turning Orren forward-facing after his third birthday?
And the answer is..................
No.
We will not be turning Orren forward-facing when he turns three. He still has about an inch left to grow in torso height before he will have to go forward-facing in his Radian, and he's still comfortable enough rear-facing, that we see no compelling reason to turn him around just yet. Sure, we're starting to have a few little issues, like him kicking Erin when he gets mad, and if this stuff worsens, then we will consider forward-facing for practicality (It's rather hard to kick your sister in the face when you're both facing the same direction). If it doesn't worsen, though, we plan to keep Orren rear-facing in his Radian until he outgrows the height limit. (I would say weight limit, but he's a skinny butt! He'll outgrow the height limit long before he even comes near the weight limit.)
If you told me three years ago that I would be keeping Orren rear-facing until the age of three, I would have told you that you were crazy. We had no intention on keeping him rear-facing past a year until I saw this video, which compelled me to do more research on the subject, and before I knew it, I was buying a Radian XTSL, so I could keep Orren rear-facing to at least age three. Then before I knew it, it was right now, and Orren is almost three, and we have no intention of turning him forward-facing just yet. Will we make four years? I don't know! I know a lot of people who do. I'm not doing this to win any kind of competition with friends, or anything like that. THE reason Orren is rear-facing is because it's the safest way for him to ride in the car, and I'm really happy about making it to three, and however much beyond we are able to get.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monday, November 28, 2011
6 months!!
Bebe Chai is 6 months old today! I can't believe we've had him for that long already. It seems like just yesterday that I was hesitant to realize that those contractions were really the real deal, after all, I was only 40 weeks, and was expecting him to wait until right about 42 like his brother and sister had. No, Bebe Chai is his own guy, though, and he does things his own way, so he joined us six months ago, on his "due date", at home.
This day also marks something very cool for me. My initial goal was to breastfeed for six months, and we're there!! (See the garnet colored ribbon at the side of the page?!) Of course, we're not stopping. We probably won't stop for a very long time to come, but my next goal is a year. We've fought through all kinds of difficulties to get to this point, and a lot of days, I want to stop, but I keep going because breastmilk is THE biologically appropriate food for human babies, and well, it's a lot easier to just roll over and latch him on when he wakes up in the middle of the night than it would be to go all the way to the kitchen, make a bottle, and come back. Plus, going out requires only throwing a couple diapers and a wetbag in my purse, not a bunch of bottles and formula. In that way, it is easier, too.
I can't believe my little Bebe Chai is now a big 6-month-old dude who sits unsupported, is about to cut a couple teeth, and is pretty mobile, rolling all over the floor and getting into everything. He's so awesome!
This day also marks something very cool for me. My initial goal was to breastfeed for six months, and we're there!! (See the garnet colored ribbon at the side of the page?!) Of course, we're not stopping. We probably won't stop for a very long time to come, but my next goal is a year. We've fought through all kinds of difficulties to get to this point, and a lot of days, I want to stop, but I keep going because breastmilk is THE biologically appropriate food for human babies, and well, it's a lot easier to just roll over and latch him on when he wakes up in the middle of the night than it would be to go all the way to the kitchen, make a bottle, and come back. Plus, going out requires only throwing a couple diapers and a wetbag in my purse, not a bunch of bottles and formula. In that way, it is easier, too.
I can't believe my little Bebe Chai is now a big 6-month-old dude who sits unsupported, is about to cut a couple teeth, and is pretty mobile, rolling all over the floor and getting into everything. He's so awesome!
Friday, November 25, 2011
The United States Army
We got Thak's first paycheck from the contracting firm the other day. Horrible doesn't quite begin to describe it. Sure, it's better than what he was making at BMW, but that's not saying much. We needed it to be triple what he was making there, and it wasn't. He thought it was great until I informed him that it wasn't going to cover the bills, and the kids could pretty well forget about Christmas if this is all he's making. (That's not exactly true. I have pulled odds and ends together for presents for them. They will get a Christmas this year, just not a particularly memorable one, presents-wise anyway.) He was a little upset that I wasn't thrilled with the money he's making, but did see it my way.
He wanted to stick it out with this firm for a few years and get promoted and make more money, and whatnot. I don't have that kind of time. I'm done playing false motivation for jobs that pay crap. If he had this job when he first got out of the Army, maybe, but he didn't. Instead, he sunk us into a deep hole with his stupid job at BMW that he insisted on staying in for way longer than he should have, insisting that he wanted to make it work, when obviously it wasn't. So this time, I put my foot down. I told him to find a recruiter, and work on getting back to Active Duty, that it wasn't ok that he threw our future and our lifestyle away because he simply didn't want to be in the Army anymore, and that he would do as other soldiers do every day, and put his family before himself. He was pissed about that, but I really didn't care anymore. As of today, he had cooled down enough to actually look into it, find contact information, call a recruiting station, and begin taking those first steps toward getting back to Active Duty.
He'll stick with this firm for as long as it takes for a slot to come available for him, and then he will go back to Active Duty. The pay he's making now will sustain us after we move (because when we move, we'll get a really cheap house... trailer... apartment... grass hut...) and just play the waiting game. We have some idea of what it will take for him to go back to Active Duty, and it'll take some doing, paperwork wise, but it is definitely feasible if he doesn't give up on pushing the issue. You ever convince somebody to push an issue they don't want to push? I did. It's not easy.
Did we love the Army life? No. Not even a little bit. But, the Army is where our life is, and in six years, when he retires and collects his pension, after 20 years of service, he can try the private sector again. Now is not the time, and I refuse to put the kids through this anymore. We can't afford for them to do anything. We're always stressed. It's a shitty way to live, and they deserve better. The way I see it, with this contractor job, Thak is doing pretty much the same job he did in the Army, assigned to an Army unit, living in whatever shitty Army post town they send us to, and deploying on the Army's schedule. So what kind of sense does it make to do the exact same thing for a fraction of what you were getting paid to do it before? It makes no sense at all.
I'm happy that he's even taking steps toward it. I hope that he will have more news later this week. With luck, we will be back to our old life before 2012 is out.
He wanted to stick it out with this firm for a few years and get promoted and make more money, and whatnot. I don't have that kind of time. I'm done playing false motivation for jobs that pay crap. If he had this job when he first got out of the Army, maybe, but he didn't. Instead, he sunk us into a deep hole with his stupid job at BMW that he insisted on staying in for way longer than he should have, insisting that he wanted to make it work, when obviously it wasn't. So this time, I put my foot down. I told him to find a recruiter, and work on getting back to Active Duty, that it wasn't ok that he threw our future and our lifestyle away because he simply didn't want to be in the Army anymore, and that he would do as other soldiers do every day, and put his family before himself. He was pissed about that, but I really didn't care anymore. As of today, he had cooled down enough to actually look into it, find contact information, call a recruiting station, and begin taking those first steps toward getting back to Active Duty.
He'll stick with this firm for as long as it takes for a slot to come available for him, and then he will go back to Active Duty. The pay he's making now will sustain us after we move (because when we move, we'll get a really cheap house... trailer... apartment... grass hut...) and just play the waiting game. We have some idea of what it will take for him to go back to Active Duty, and it'll take some doing, paperwork wise, but it is definitely feasible if he doesn't give up on pushing the issue. You ever convince somebody to push an issue they don't want to push? I did. It's not easy.
Did we love the Army life? No. Not even a little bit. But, the Army is where our life is, and in six years, when he retires and collects his pension, after 20 years of service, he can try the private sector again. Now is not the time, and I refuse to put the kids through this anymore. We can't afford for them to do anything. We're always stressed. It's a shitty way to live, and they deserve better. The way I see it, with this contractor job, Thak is doing pretty much the same job he did in the Army, assigned to an Army unit, living in whatever shitty Army post town they send us to, and deploying on the Army's schedule. So what kind of sense does it make to do the exact same thing for a fraction of what you were getting paid to do it before? It makes no sense at all.
I'm happy that he's even taking steps toward it. I hope that he will have more news later this week. With luck, we will be back to our old life before 2012 is out.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Fight for your right to..... uh.... dance?
Our bellydance troupe had been meeting at one of the gyms on post, in one of the rooms where they teach aerobics and stuff like that, when that room is not in use. We would get the schedule of classes each month, then we'd work around that. Occasionally, it would happen that our preferred room would be in use unexpectedly when we'd show up, or that we'd have to leave early because they had something planned for it that wasn't on the schedule, but that was pretty minimal, and pretty easy to deal with. We pretty much just came and went as we pleased, and it was not a problem. We weren't bothering anybody, or using anything that anybody else wanted at that time, so there should have been no trouble at all. Sure, sometimes we'd get people asking what we were doing, because they'd hear us zilling, and come to watch us dance, but we usually just invite them to join us. Nobody ever had a problem with us.
That changed today. About half an hour after we got there (and we usually dance for at least 2 hours, so we were barely getting started), a lady from the office came in and asked what we were doing. She said that in order to hold classes at the gym, we had to have prior approval. We explained that it's not a class, that we're just a bellydance troupe, and we meet there to practice. We told her that we'd been given the OK to use the room when it was not in use by classes, and that we had worked around the schedule. Seeing that that wasn't going to get rid of us, she took one look at Erin and Orren (who were wearing coin scarves and dancing with us) and Chai (whom I was taking a break from dancing to nurse), and said that they were a liability issue, and we had to leave.
First of all, BULLSHIT. It's a public facility open only to military ID holders. We are all covered, presumably by Tricare, so even if the kids did get hurt (which is extremely unlikely), it's not like we'd incur a whole gang load of medical bills. What's more, the gym is owned by the US Army, whom you CANNOT sue. It is physically impossible to sue the US Army, so there is NO liability issue. We knew it was BS, but we packed up our stuff, and we left. I took the kids and went home. Two of the other girls went to the office to discuss it further. They said it was straight-up BS from start to finish. We cannot, for the life of us, figure out why they have a problem with us being there.
OK, first of all, this is the ONLY post that any of us know of that doesn't offer any form of childcare in their gyms (and between us, we have decade upon decade of experience with the Army. We're all in our 30's, none of us are newlyweds, and most of us are former soldiers, so we've seen a lot of posts, and this is the only one like this.) Second, they allow people to bring their babies in strollers to the gym, and use the machines, or walk the track, or whatever, so the gym does not have a "no kids" policy. We fail to see how it's any safer for a kid, say Orren or Chai's age, to sit in a stroller next to an elliptical machine or stairmaster while mommy works out, than it is for them to hang out in a big empty room with a bunch of grown-ups, and participate in an activity.
So pretty much, we're going to be rotating houses to practice at until we can get access to the studio again... or not. In all this, I am thankful for one thing. The girls who are pretty much the leaders of our troupe do not have kids, yet they have stood beside those of us who do, and are not taking it lightly that the post gym is attempting to exclude us. They aren't going to just find more kid-free types to dance with. We're all going to work on this together, and we're going to keep dancing, and one day before too long, we're going to dance around the indoor track, in full dress, with all the kids in strollers, so as not to break policy, yet to show the people in charge just how much better it was when all we did was occupy a room for a few hours a week.
That changed today. About half an hour after we got there (and we usually dance for at least 2 hours, so we were barely getting started), a lady from the office came in and asked what we were doing. She said that in order to hold classes at the gym, we had to have prior approval. We explained that it's not a class, that we're just a bellydance troupe, and we meet there to practice. We told her that we'd been given the OK to use the room when it was not in use by classes, and that we had worked around the schedule. Seeing that that wasn't going to get rid of us, she took one look at Erin and Orren (who were wearing coin scarves and dancing with us) and Chai (whom I was taking a break from dancing to nurse), and said that they were a liability issue, and we had to leave.
First of all, BULLSHIT. It's a public facility open only to military ID holders. We are all covered, presumably by Tricare, so even if the kids did get hurt (which is extremely unlikely), it's not like we'd incur a whole gang load of medical bills. What's more, the gym is owned by the US Army, whom you CANNOT sue. It is physically impossible to sue the US Army, so there is NO liability issue. We knew it was BS, but we packed up our stuff, and we left. I took the kids and went home. Two of the other girls went to the office to discuss it further. They said it was straight-up BS from start to finish. We cannot, for the life of us, figure out why they have a problem with us being there.
OK, first of all, this is the ONLY post that any of us know of that doesn't offer any form of childcare in their gyms (and between us, we have decade upon decade of experience with the Army. We're all in our 30's, none of us are newlyweds, and most of us are former soldiers, so we've seen a lot of posts, and this is the only one like this.) Second, they allow people to bring their babies in strollers to the gym, and use the machines, or walk the track, or whatever, so the gym does not have a "no kids" policy. We fail to see how it's any safer for a kid, say Orren or Chai's age, to sit in a stroller next to an elliptical machine or stairmaster while mommy works out, than it is for them to hang out in a big empty room with a bunch of grown-ups, and participate in an activity.
So pretty much, we're going to be rotating houses to practice at until we can get access to the studio again... or not. In all this, I am thankful for one thing. The girls who are pretty much the leaders of our troupe do not have kids, yet they have stood beside those of us who do, and are not taking it lightly that the post gym is attempting to exclude us. They aren't going to just find more kid-free types to dance with. We're all going to work on this together, and we're going to keep dancing, and one day before too long, we're going to dance around the indoor track, in full dress, with all the kids in strollers, so as not to break policy, yet to show the people in charge just how much better it was when all we did was occupy a room for a few hours a week.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Something fabulous for Tuesday
So I don't dance on Tuesdays anymore. That's Wednesdays now, but today, I finished up my first tribal skirt! Yay! It's a 10 yard skirt from a tutorial that one of the girls I dance with sent me. It doesn't actually take ten yards of fabric. It takes six. It has ten yards at the bottom, though, which is why it's called a 10 yard skirt. Belly dance skirts are generally really full, some as much as 25 yards at the hem. The best part is that I found this fabric on sale for only $2.50 a yard this weekend at Joann Fabrics, so I spent $15 of the money I made at the post-wide yard sale (in other words, what I got for some of my old maternity clothes), and bought the stuff I needed to make myself a nice skirt to dance in. Yes. This will do nicely.
So basically, I have my first tribal belly dance outfit! It's simple, yes, but I like it. It's a skirt that I made, a coin scarf that I bought at the mall, and a choli top that I bought really cheaply from the same girl who gave me the tutorial for the skirt. The most expensive part of the whole thing are the Saroyan zills in my hands, and those weren't even bad. Belly dancing can be an expensive hobby, but when you know how to sew, and know other dancers who are your size, and have stuff they don't use anymore, it surely doesn't have to be.
The more I dance, the more I love it. Not only is it fun, but you don't have to have the perfect body or be super skinny, and everybody looks and feels totally fabulous no matter what! I'm so glad I accepted my friend's invitation to come dance with her group. It's seriously the best thing I have done for myself in years.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Our day at the canyon
For some crazy reason, Orren's been asking to go walk in the desert. I don't know where he even learned the word desert, or got the notion that he would like to walk in one, but he did. I mean, it's not too surprising. We do live in the desert. It was just funny when we were coming back from picking up something at a friend's house the other day, and Orren says, "Mommy, I wanna walk in the desert." and said it at least five times a day from there forward. He asked again while we were on our way home after picking Erin up from school today, so I decided to take them to go walk in the desert.
McKelligon Canyon seemed like a good enough place to go. I sort of know the trails a little, having been there before on a few occasions, and there are always plenty of people out there, mostly soldiers doing PT or road marches, so it's pretty safe. We headed out there right after I got Erin from school, after a brief stop home for her to change clothes, and everyone to go potty. Of course, I didn't think to wear some shoes other than sandals, but oh well... it's good enough for the Bedouins, right? I survived.
So we hiked, and climbed, and even saw all kinds of wildlife like a tarantula, which I did get a picture of, and a bunch of quail, which I did not get a picture of. The kids definitely tired themselves out, but cannot wait to go back.
We also picked up some rocks. I'm going to paint mine with a Texas theme, and put it in our garden, wherever we go after this. I suppose you could say we're beginning to say goodbye to El Paso, which, for all its bad points, has been our home for almost three years now. We don't know where we're going after this, only that we're going, and that our time here is coming to an end very fast.
These images... That's what I'm taking with me. That's how I want to remember this place.
Monday, November 14, 2011
OPSEC and contracting
For those who do not know, OPSEC is OPerational SECurity. It's a military term, and while there are ten points to it, the basic idea is, don't be an idiot with information you may have. In other words, "Loose lips sink ships". There's a lot of misunderstanding about what OPSEC is, and what it isn't, and about what happens when OPSEC is violated, but that's not what I'm here to discuss today.
I get a lot of questions about what exactly Thak is doing, and I totally understand why people are asking. It's a pretty cutting edge job that he does, and he had to get a Top Secret security clearance just to do it! For that reason, believe it or not, I am telling the truth when I say that I really don't know exactly what he's doing. I know he fixes airplanes, unmanned ones. That's really about it. I know a little of what that entails from the Army side since he did this job in the Army, but on the civilian side, there is a bit more to it since they are sort of in charge of setting the things up for the Army and the Marine Corps. The job he does now is a more in depth version of a job he did for five of the years he was Active Duty. I do not know any details on it. I know that there is a lot of information being put out, such that Thak and his classmates have study group every night until about 9:00 PM their time (which is 7 pm our time, so just in time for him to read Orren his bedtime story over the phone!). I also know that they take tests fairly regularly, and so far, Thak has done well on all of his. I do not know anything else.
The reason things have to be so quiet is not only because this technology is new, and will be used by our troops on the battlefield at some point, and it's best if the enemy doesn't know the details of it, although that's part of it. It's also because this is a government contract that a lot of other companies would love to have.
Remember back to history class in high school. Think about the Industrial Revolution, and how people would go into factories, supposedly as an employee, but instead, draw diagrams of all the machines they had, and take them back to their employers, and make those same machines. It was like intellectual property theft, basically. Well, that stuff still goes on. Say Thak was talking on the phone and telling me about the new thing he's working on. Let's say it was a system armed with confetti bombs and called The Flying Party. Well, let's say the guy next door to him is from Boeing, or Lockheed, or any of the other companies like that, and overhears this, then tells his boss that they need to make The Flying Party, just a month sooner than Thak's company is releasing it. Guess who just stole the contract. This stuff is real, and the place where Thak is staying while there has guys from a lot of different firms, and you never know who's listening or watching, so he literally cannot tell me what he does day to day. His job depends on it.
Just to give you some idea, there are no Smartphones allowed on company property. You are not allowed to use your laptop if your back is facing the door of the room you are in, because someone could come in and look over your shoulder. You are not allowed to discuss your work on the phone ever. You cannot list your employer on your social networking sites either. It is very top secret work that Thak is doing, and that's strange for me because it's a different level than it was when he was in the Army. Now we don't just have to worry about the enemy getting information they don't need, but we have to worry also about competing companies trying to move in on ideas, ideas that Thak will know about (or does already know about, maybe).
So I'm really not trying to be just contrary or stupid when I tell you I do not know what Thak is doing. I really do not know, because unlike his Army job, he really cannot tell me. Even speaking in code, like we used to during deployments, is not an option. What's more, I know that with him getting a top secret security clearance, our family is quite possibly being looked at. Maybe someone from the investigating firm is reading this right now. (I'm ok with that. Hi, guys!) I will not cause my husband to lose his job over something like knowing a few more details of it.
All any of us need to know right now is this stuff:
Thak is working for a defense contracting firm in the field of aviation.
His job is fast paced, and he is very busy on a day to day basis.
We can contact him daily via phone or email, although he doesn't have a lot of time to talk since he is always either at work or studying with the other guys he is working with right now.
He is very good at his job.
He is safe on American soil, and will be until further notice.
Honestly, what else matters? If you want to know anything else, then consult the firm's website. Everything on there is totally ok for public knowledge, but beyond that, no. That's what Thak was told in a briefing, and it sounds pretty simple to me. With any questions, it's probably best to consult Thak.
I get a lot of questions about what exactly Thak is doing, and I totally understand why people are asking. It's a pretty cutting edge job that he does, and he had to get a Top Secret security clearance just to do it! For that reason, believe it or not, I am telling the truth when I say that I really don't know exactly what he's doing. I know he fixes airplanes, unmanned ones. That's really about it. I know a little of what that entails from the Army side since he did this job in the Army, but on the civilian side, there is a bit more to it since they are sort of in charge of setting the things up for the Army and the Marine Corps. The job he does now is a more in depth version of a job he did for five of the years he was Active Duty. I do not know any details on it. I know that there is a lot of information being put out, such that Thak and his classmates have study group every night until about 9:00 PM their time (which is 7 pm our time, so just in time for him to read Orren his bedtime story over the phone!). I also know that they take tests fairly regularly, and so far, Thak has done well on all of his. I do not know anything else.
The reason things have to be so quiet is not only because this technology is new, and will be used by our troops on the battlefield at some point, and it's best if the enemy doesn't know the details of it, although that's part of it. It's also because this is a government contract that a lot of other companies would love to have.
Remember back to history class in high school. Think about the Industrial Revolution, and how people would go into factories, supposedly as an employee, but instead, draw diagrams of all the machines they had, and take them back to their employers, and make those same machines. It was like intellectual property theft, basically. Well, that stuff still goes on. Say Thak was talking on the phone and telling me about the new thing he's working on. Let's say it was a system armed with confetti bombs and called The Flying Party. Well, let's say the guy next door to him is from Boeing, or Lockheed, or any of the other companies like that, and overhears this, then tells his boss that they need to make The Flying Party, just a month sooner than Thak's company is releasing it. Guess who just stole the contract. This stuff is real, and the place where Thak is staying while there has guys from a lot of different firms, and you never know who's listening or watching, so he literally cannot tell me what he does day to day. His job depends on it.
Just to give you some idea, there are no Smartphones allowed on company property. You are not allowed to use your laptop if your back is facing the door of the room you are in, because someone could come in and look over your shoulder. You are not allowed to discuss your work on the phone ever. You cannot list your employer on your social networking sites either. It is very top secret work that Thak is doing, and that's strange for me because it's a different level than it was when he was in the Army. Now we don't just have to worry about the enemy getting information they don't need, but we have to worry also about competing companies trying to move in on ideas, ideas that Thak will know about (or does already know about, maybe).
So I'm really not trying to be just contrary or stupid when I tell you I do not know what Thak is doing. I really do not know, because unlike his Army job, he really cannot tell me. Even speaking in code, like we used to during deployments, is not an option. What's more, I know that with him getting a top secret security clearance, our family is quite possibly being looked at. Maybe someone from the investigating firm is reading this right now. (I'm ok with that. Hi, guys!) I will not cause my husband to lose his job over something like knowing a few more details of it.
All any of us need to know right now is this stuff:
Thak is working for a defense contracting firm in the field of aviation.
His job is fast paced, and he is very busy on a day to day basis.
We can contact him daily via phone or email, although he doesn't have a lot of time to talk since he is always either at work or studying with the other guys he is working with right now.
He is very good at his job.
He is safe on American soil, and will be until further notice.
Honestly, what else matters? If you want to know anything else, then consult the firm's website. Everything on there is totally ok for public knowledge, but beyond that, no. That's what Thak was told in a briefing, and it sounds pretty simple to me. With any questions, it's probably best to consult Thak.
Controversy over a homecoming picture.
Yesterday, military bank USAA caused major controversy by publishing a photo to its website of a soldier coming home to his wife at the Dallas Cowboys game. Now, first off, let me say, I hate crap like that. I REALLY cannot stand those media circus homecomings because they're nothing more than a publicity gimmick for the Army, and the soldier is only ever home on R&R anyway, so while the whole crowd is thinking, "How sweet! He came home just in time for Thanksgiving!", the reality of the situation is, this guy's probably boarding a plane back to Kabul on Turkey Day anyhow. Yet somehow, "Soldier surprises wife for piddly two week visit in Cowboys Stadium" doesn't have quite the ring to it, now does it? Of course not.
Now, this media circus homecoming gimmick has been done before about a thousand times. Why, then, did this one stir up so much controversy among the military community? Well, here's a pic:
Click here
This wasn't the one on the USAA site. They ended up taking it down. The one I linked is slightly better. But basically military spouses were divided on whether this was a sweet picture, or a trotting out of stereotypes. See, the fat sloppy Army wife with the skinny little soldier is as much of an ugly stereotype as the black kid eating chicken and watermelon. Do black kids, in fact, eat chicken and watermelon? Sure they do, just as some skinny little soldiers have big fat wives who look like a hot mess all the time, but the point is, it's a stereotype, and seeing it splashed forth on national TV didn't sit any better with about half the Army wives I know, than it would with the NAACP if KFC changed their ad campaign to include nothing but little black kids with messed up hair, nomming down on their chicken, with watermelon on the side. It's just not good PR to play on stereotypes, and in choosing this couple to be featured on national TV, USAA did just that.
I can see their point, but on the other hand, I can also see the other side. Maybe this girl actually likes media circuses (I can't imagine why... but maybe some people do). Maybe her husband signed them up for it, thinking she would like it. Maybe he's the world's biggest Dallas Cowboys fan, and wanted free tickets to a game. Maybe he lost a bet. I cannot even begin to imagine why any person or couple would put themselves in this position, but for whatever reason, it happened, and America got to see another great publicity gimmick by the good old US Army. You know, when you see these things, you're supposed to think of how glamorous and romantic it is to be a soldier's wife, and then tell your boyfriend he should go enlist. Some people surely did see that, and maybe in showing something other than the standard super put together skinny wife with perfect makeup and hair, greeted by her Officer husband, who looks just as perfect as he did the day he graduated from West Point, makes this whole Army thing seem like it's more for everybody, and not just the ones who actually look like they stepped right off a Hollywood set. For all we know, that's what they were getting at by choosing these people. You can't tell me they don't look at pictures before deciding who to put on national TV. The Army and USAA knew exactly what they were dealing with months before this went down. They chose this. This was the promotional gimmick they were looking for. I do not know their reasoning, but I know that there was some. If there is one thing I know about my Army, it is that there is a reason for everything they do, even this.
Now, what's my take on it? First of all, let's put it out there real clear like. I'm not hating on the fat girl, ok? It is what it is. I see worse every time I drive through post housing. No, my problem is with the execution of it. Fine, have the 120 pound soldier greet his 400 pound wife on the 50-yard-line at Cowboys Stadium, but could SOMEBODY please tell that girl to do her hair and wear something nice? I mean, you KNOW her family was in on this. Her mom couldn't take her to the salon that morning, or shopping the day prior, or something? If I ever ended up in that situation, I would seriously hope that nobody would let me go on national TV looking like that. Of course, if Thak ever pulled a stunt like that, it would be at a Vikings game, and trust me, if I ever set foot in the Metrodome, I will be in full on football babe mode! I'm talking, nice fitted jersey, skinny jeans, stilettos, great makeup, nice hair... Plus, I look fab in purple. (Maybe this whole football game homecoming thing isn't such a bad idea... or maybe I should wear my Vikings stuff to pick Thak up at the airport! Ha!) So I don't know, maybe looking like a hot mess is just who this girl is, and it's ok with her that she was portrayed that way? I have no idea. I don't know her, and judging by her husband's patch, they're at Ft. Hood, so it's not like I'll ever run into her in the PX and get to ask her what she thinks of the whole deal. All we can do is speculate.
In all, I just dislike these publicity grabs with the public "homecoming". It portrays something that isn't, and feeds on a widespread misunderstanding that our society still holds. People still mostly think that when a soldier comes home, he's home, and that's that. They don't understand that 50% of the time, it's just for a couple weeks, and then he has to go back for months on end until he can come home again. Then they REALLY don't understand that even when the deployment is over, it's not like he's just home and that's that. No, he's probably going back again before long. Hell, with all of Thak's deployments, they were on orders for the next one before the current one ended. When your husband sees you for the first time in most of a year, and his first words to you are, "I go back in August" (that was the first thing Thak said to me when he came home from his 2nd. I didn't even get two seconds to pretend it was over.), that will forever ruin every single homecoming you ever see for the rest of your life, because honestly, they're all temporary. Society doesn't know that, though. They think it's like Vietnam, where if you do multiple tours, it's because you volunteered for it, and that you can get out after you get home if you want to. What they fail to understand is that in doing away with the draft, and using an all volunteer force, the voluntary factor is actually severely diminished for those who actually do this job. Sure, you volunteered to enlist (whose Drill Sergeant didn't remind them of that 10,000 times a day in Basic? Mine sure did!) but what if you decide after your first tour that war's really not your thing? Too bad. You've got enough time on your contract for another deployment, so pack your shit. You volunteered. Society doesn't see that end of it, and these public homecomings only feed into that misunderstanding. I guarantee you if I stood outside Cowboys Stadium and polled 1000 random people who saw this go down on the big screen what they thought just happened, less than 50 of them would guess that soldier is only home for two weeks.
Advertising is seldom honest, and the military is nearly never forthcoming, so this is no surprise, but it is still distasteful to me, and adding in the stereotype factor on top of it, many others join me in that opinion of it. Maybe we will see an end to publicity stunts like this due to the reaction of the military community. Better yet, let's just bring them all home and not send any of them back, and for publicity, stick to parachute jumps, drill team presentations, and cheesy commercials about how you, too, can be Army Strong.
Now, this media circus homecoming gimmick has been done before about a thousand times. Why, then, did this one stir up so much controversy among the military community? Well, here's a pic:
Click here
This wasn't the one on the USAA site. They ended up taking it down. The one I linked is slightly better. But basically military spouses were divided on whether this was a sweet picture, or a trotting out of stereotypes. See, the fat sloppy Army wife with the skinny little soldier is as much of an ugly stereotype as the black kid eating chicken and watermelon. Do black kids, in fact, eat chicken and watermelon? Sure they do, just as some skinny little soldiers have big fat wives who look like a hot mess all the time, but the point is, it's a stereotype, and seeing it splashed forth on national TV didn't sit any better with about half the Army wives I know, than it would with the NAACP if KFC changed their ad campaign to include nothing but little black kids with messed up hair, nomming down on their chicken, with watermelon on the side. It's just not good PR to play on stereotypes, and in choosing this couple to be featured on national TV, USAA did just that.
I can see their point, but on the other hand, I can also see the other side. Maybe this girl actually likes media circuses (I can't imagine why... but maybe some people do). Maybe her husband signed them up for it, thinking she would like it. Maybe he's the world's biggest Dallas Cowboys fan, and wanted free tickets to a game. Maybe he lost a bet. I cannot even begin to imagine why any person or couple would put themselves in this position, but for whatever reason, it happened, and America got to see another great publicity gimmick by the good old US Army. You know, when you see these things, you're supposed to think of how glamorous and romantic it is to be a soldier's wife, and then tell your boyfriend he should go enlist. Some people surely did see that, and maybe in showing something other than the standard super put together skinny wife with perfect makeup and hair, greeted by her Officer husband, who looks just as perfect as he did the day he graduated from West Point, makes this whole Army thing seem like it's more for everybody, and not just the ones who actually look like they stepped right off a Hollywood set. For all we know, that's what they were getting at by choosing these people. You can't tell me they don't look at pictures before deciding who to put on national TV. The Army and USAA knew exactly what they were dealing with months before this went down. They chose this. This was the promotional gimmick they were looking for. I do not know their reasoning, but I know that there was some. If there is one thing I know about my Army, it is that there is a reason for everything they do, even this.
Now, what's my take on it? First of all, let's put it out there real clear like. I'm not hating on the fat girl, ok? It is what it is. I see worse every time I drive through post housing. No, my problem is with the execution of it. Fine, have the 120 pound soldier greet his 400 pound wife on the 50-yard-line at Cowboys Stadium, but could SOMEBODY please tell that girl to do her hair and wear something nice? I mean, you KNOW her family was in on this. Her mom couldn't take her to the salon that morning, or shopping the day prior, or something? If I ever ended up in that situation, I would seriously hope that nobody would let me go on national TV looking like that. Of course, if Thak ever pulled a stunt like that, it would be at a Vikings game, and trust me, if I ever set foot in the Metrodome, I will be in full on football babe mode! I'm talking, nice fitted jersey, skinny jeans, stilettos, great makeup, nice hair... Plus, I look fab in purple. (Maybe this whole football game homecoming thing isn't such a bad idea... or maybe I should wear my Vikings stuff to pick Thak up at the airport! Ha!) So I don't know, maybe looking like a hot mess is just who this girl is, and it's ok with her that she was portrayed that way? I have no idea. I don't know her, and judging by her husband's patch, they're at Ft. Hood, so it's not like I'll ever run into her in the PX and get to ask her what she thinks of the whole deal. All we can do is speculate.
In all, I just dislike these publicity grabs with the public "homecoming". It portrays something that isn't, and feeds on a widespread misunderstanding that our society still holds. People still mostly think that when a soldier comes home, he's home, and that's that. They don't understand that 50% of the time, it's just for a couple weeks, and then he has to go back for months on end until he can come home again. Then they REALLY don't understand that even when the deployment is over, it's not like he's just home and that's that. No, he's probably going back again before long. Hell, with all of Thak's deployments, they were on orders for the next one before the current one ended. When your husband sees you for the first time in most of a year, and his first words to you are, "I go back in August" (that was the first thing Thak said to me when he came home from his 2nd. I didn't even get two seconds to pretend it was over.), that will forever ruin every single homecoming you ever see for the rest of your life, because honestly, they're all temporary. Society doesn't know that, though. They think it's like Vietnam, where if you do multiple tours, it's because you volunteered for it, and that you can get out after you get home if you want to. What they fail to understand is that in doing away with the draft, and using an all volunteer force, the voluntary factor is actually severely diminished for those who actually do this job. Sure, you volunteered to enlist (whose Drill Sergeant didn't remind them of that 10,000 times a day in Basic? Mine sure did!) but what if you decide after your first tour that war's really not your thing? Too bad. You've got enough time on your contract for another deployment, so pack your shit. You volunteered. Society doesn't see that end of it, and these public homecomings only feed into that misunderstanding. I guarantee you if I stood outside Cowboys Stadium and polled 1000 random people who saw this go down on the big screen what they thought just happened, less than 50 of them would guess that soldier is only home for two weeks.
Advertising is seldom honest, and the military is nearly never forthcoming, so this is no surprise, but it is still distasteful to me, and adding in the stereotype factor on top of it, many others join me in that opinion of it. Maybe we will see an end to publicity stunts like this due to the reaction of the military community. Better yet, let's just bring them all home and not send any of them back, and for publicity, stick to parachute jumps, drill team presentations, and cheesy commercials about how you, too, can be Army Strong.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
We are not rich.
Military people always complain that those who aren't affiliated with the military have a really warped view of their financial state. Either they think they're rich, or they think they're really poor. I'm not quite sure why people think military people are poor. The military gives you about the best pay for the least formal education, and the cheapest (read: free) most comprehensive benefits package anywhere. Sure, it's not like you're going to be rolling in money on military pay, but you will definitely be able to live pretty comfortably unless you are a complete idiot with money (and a lot of people are, but that's their problem). I also don't know why people think the military is rich. Have you seen post housing? If not, go look at it and tell me if that looks like something rich people would live in.
Of course, these financial misconceptions drive military people nuts, because they're incorrect. The truth is that military people are somewhere in the middle, neither rich nor poor, yet people don't often see it that way. Here's the thing, though. The military people do it, too! Yes you do. Every one of you. Even you, generally level-headed, no-BS friend.
I've made some interesting observations ever since I became the most hated and speculated-about species on any given post, all of a week ago. Yes, we contractors' wives are definitely not to be confused with our military counterparts, even though most of us have been there before, and not long ago. No, among military wives, misconceptions abound about contractors and the families thereof. One of the biggest ones, crazy enough, is that we're rich! I've had so many people say things to me about our great financial state now that Thak is working for the contracting firm. I will say, life is about to get a whole lot better as soon as he starts getting paid. He is living pretty well there now, in fact. Me and the kids will soon see some easing of our financial strain thanks to his increased paychecks as a contractor.
Even so, we are NOT rich. I will just say, Thak had a lot of years of service when he left the Army. That means he had a respectable amount of rank on him. That means he was making pretty good money, better money than well over half the soldiers in the Army make, if you believe the statistics. So his paycheck from the contracting firm is good. Don't get me wrong, it is good, especially in today's economy. However, it is actually a slight decrease compared to what he was making Active Duty, not to mention we now pay for benefits we used to get for free. This would be a huge raise for someone who had served six years and gotten out, sure. However, for us, it is actually a pay cut. We're not complaining about what it is. It's not bad by any stretch of the imagination. It's just, if we're rich, so is everybody in the entire Senior NCO housing area, because they're all making more than we are.
So there you have it. Does my defense contractor husband make more than your military husband? Maybe, but maybe not. We are right in the middle, kind of where we always were. I've got to say, though, after our brief foray to the bottom, the middle sure is nice.
Of course, these financial misconceptions drive military people nuts, because they're incorrect. The truth is that military people are somewhere in the middle, neither rich nor poor, yet people don't often see it that way. Here's the thing, though. The military people do it, too! Yes you do. Every one of you. Even you, generally level-headed, no-BS friend.
I've made some interesting observations ever since I became the most hated and speculated-about species on any given post, all of a week ago. Yes, we contractors' wives are definitely not to be confused with our military counterparts, even though most of us have been there before, and not long ago. No, among military wives, misconceptions abound about contractors and the families thereof. One of the biggest ones, crazy enough, is that we're rich! I've had so many people say things to me about our great financial state now that Thak is working for the contracting firm. I will say, life is about to get a whole lot better as soon as he starts getting paid. He is living pretty well there now, in fact. Me and the kids will soon see some easing of our financial strain thanks to his increased paychecks as a contractor.
Even so, we are NOT rich. I will just say, Thak had a lot of years of service when he left the Army. That means he had a respectable amount of rank on him. That means he was making pretty good money, better money than well over half the soldiers in the Army make, if you believe the statistics. So his paycheck from the contracting firm is good. Don't get me wrong, it is good, especially in today's economy. However, it is actually a slight decrease compared to what he was making Active Duty, not to mention we now pay for benefits we used to get for free. This would be a huge raise for someone who had served six years and gotten out, sure. However, for us, it is actually a pay cut. We're not complaining about what it is. It's not bad by any stretch of the imagination. It's just, if we're rich, so is everybody in the entire Senior NCO housing area, because they're all making more than we are.
So there you have it. Does my defense contractor husband make more than your military husband? Maybe, but maybe not. We are right in the middle, kind of where we always were. I've got to say, though, after our brief foray to the bottom, the middle sure is nice.
Friday, November 11, 2011
A different story for Veterans' Day
A friend's husband, who is currently deployed with Thak's old unit, found a sweet little puppy in the mountains of Afghanistan. He brought the dog back to his camp, and named him Chuck. Everybody immediately fell in love with Chuck, and he has become a part of the family. It has become apparent that Chuck needs to come home to the US, because he has become such an important part of the Army family, and also because he doesn't have a lot of hope of a long and happy life if left there in Afghanistan.
This is going to be expensive, at least $3000-4000, and difficult since the only organizations that exist to fly dogs out of combat zones only work in Iraq. Operation Baghdad Pups already said no since the location he's in is too dangerous. Nobody has given up yet. About 50% of the money needed to bring Chuck home has already been raised, so he's well on his way to his new life in the US with his new Army family. He's not there yet, though, so if you're able to donate, please do. Anything helps, even $1. If you're going to be at Ft. Bliss next weekend for the post-wide yard sale, come see me at my friend Amber's house in the Red Brick Housing Area, where I'll be selling homemade dog treats (made by the wife of the soldier who has adopted Chuck!) to raise money for Chuck's journey home.
Click here to read Chuck's story.
And read this, too. I particularly love this one.
The link to donate is at the top right of that page. Like I said, anything helps, so if you can give anything at all to help Chuck get home to the US, it would mean a lot to a whole bunch of veterans, and one doggie.
This is going to be expensive, at least $3000-4000, and difficult since the only organizations that exist to fly dogs out of combat zones only work in Iraq. Operation Baghdad Pups already said no since the location he's in is too dangerous. Nobody has given up yet. About 50% of the money needed to bring Chuck home has already been raised, so he's well on his way to his new life in the US with his new Army family. He's not there yet, though, so if you're able to donate, please do. Anything helps, even $1. If you're going to be at Ft. Bliss next weekend for the post-wide yard sale, come see me at my friend Amber's house in the Red Brick Housing Area, where I'll be selling homemade dog treats (made by the wife of the soldier who has adopted Chuck!) to raise money for Chuck's journey home.
Click here to read Chuck's story.
And read this, too. I particularly love this one.
The link to donate is at the top right of that page. Like I said, anything helps, so if you can give anything at all to help Chuck get home to the US, it would mean a lot to a whole bunch of veterans, and one doggie.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
What we left there.
A bunch of Ft. Stewart friends were all saying yesterday how they missed that place. I, of course, got in on that, too. None of us are there anymore. That's the way the Army is. You always leave. These people ran the gamut, though. Only one's husband is still Active Duty. They're at Ft. Polk now. Another one, her husband got out right after the brigade got back from what was Thak's 3rd tour (her husband's 2nd), and he's now deployed with the Texas National Guard. There was another girl whose husband was injured in an IED attack during that same deployment, and was medically retired. There were still others who have moved on in one way or another. Then there was me... Mine's a civilian contractor now.
The common thread is, we were all at Ft. Stewart when the biggest headline in the world fell right in our laps. It was us who woke up to Katie Couric hosting the morning news on our front lawn. It was our husbands who were in the brigade that those headlines affected. We weren't the glory seekers who claimed the credit. We were the ones who got it whether we wanted it or not. (Here's a hint. None of us wanted it.) Our husbands are the NCO's who lead the soldiers who took Baghdad back. We are the ones who got back what was left of them when the war had taken its share. We are very different people in a great many ways (although funny enough, we're all southern. I just realized that.) but in some very important ways, we are all the same. Our husbands did different jobs, grunts, gunners, mechanics, medics, you name it. We all did the same thing, though. We made it through the toughest 15 months the Army has dished out in our lifetime. Sometimes we got through on superstition (like my reading the Kuwaiti news reels every night before I went to bed), sometimes on pure strength, and sometimes we got through only on a wing and a prayer... and vodka. We got through, though, and we have seen each other at our absolute lowest, and our absolute proudest. We understand each other completely, because we were all shaped by the same thing, even though it took different forms with each. I am more of a skeptic than ever, while others are more patriotic than ever, and still others question for the first time. None of that matters, though.
The fact is also that we all miss Ft. Stewart, and we would all go back in a heartbeat. The girl whose husband is still Active Duty said that she went back last summer, and it wasn't great. In thinking back, Ft. Stewart was never great. It's in the middle of nowhere, the town outside the gates has only a Walmart, it has the smallest commissary I have ever seen, the housing market is impossible, the deployment schedule is the worst the Army has, and it smells funny. So why do we all miss Ft. Stewart?
I wager, it's because of what we left there. I'm not talking about my awesome crock pot that I left in my house on post when we moved either. No, I'm talking about something totally intangible that all of us left at Ft. Stewart, and that no matter how hard we try, we will never get back.
To understand this, you first need to understand what Ft. Stewart was like in 2004. I have a pretty good command of the English language in general, but I cannot find the words to truly do justice to the energy that surrounded Ft. Stewart prior to Thak's 2nd tour. We had just arrived there, and he had just been selected for the UAV program. Back then, they only took the best for that program. This was before there was an MOS for it that anybody could enlist for. No, they made that MOS based on Thak, and four of his peers, the five best generator mechanics in the Army. They sent them all to Arizona, trained them to work on the Army's new UAV system, and then sent them out to their units. Thak went to Ft. Stewart, and when we got there, the UAV unit was just setting up. It was all new. The unit didn't even exist on paper, and the work was still regarded as secretive. The entire town was hopping with the energy that comes of an entire division getting ready to deploy. Wives were preparing to move back home (this was during the days when easily 50% did that), soldiers were preparing to deploy, and if you went to Ranger Joe's on a Sunday, you couldn't find any E5 or E6 rank on the shelves, and you'd wait an hour for a haircut. The entire area was buzzing with activity, so much anticipation of what was to come. There was a lot of trepidation, too, of course. It was a war, after all. But there was a serious undercurrent of excitement. If you've ever watched the movie Pearl Harbor, think of the scene in the street where Red proposes to Betty. The energy in that part of the movie is exactly what Hinesville was like in 2004 and early 2005. Nobody hoped more, loved harder, or soaked up life nearly as zealously as we did right then.
Then they deployed. The tiny line of trees representing the troops lost during the 2003 deployment, grew to be several lines of trees. Thak was sent from his kushy assignment in Baghdad, to a remote location in a part of Iraq most people aren't familiar with if I tell them. He set records, had a hand in catching some really bad guys, and earned medals he probably would rather not tell you about. There were a lot of issues with that deployment, and when he got back, the electrical energy that had surrounded the post, was replaced by a lot of unrest.
Just when things started to settle out, and a sense of well-being returned, the president dropped a bomb on us. There would be a surge on Baghdad. Our guys woke up on orders, and were released early to come home and tell us the official news. We knew they would deploy again, just not that soon. That's when the media circus began, and it didn't stop for a year and a half. Our guys spent the next 3 months in the swamps and forests of south Georgia practicing their skills. There was no time to send them to the desert at National Training Center, so they brought trainers to us, and they did the pre-deployment train-up right in our own backyard... not that we saw them much at all. I was one of the lucky ones. Thak stayed at the airfield, and had some contact with me via email. Most weren't that lucky. Then after that was over, they let them take about a week's leave, and then they were gone, to the most volatile place on the planet.
For 15 months, mortars rained, IED's exploded, cars exploded, houses exploded, bullets flew, and bombs dropped. The camp Thak was staying at was nicknamed "The Shooting Gallery", because they got mortared so much. Multiple times in one week, his position was mortared while I was on the phone with him. Every time that happened, I heard the rounds hit before the phones went dead, so I knew it was a direct hit, and being a former soldier, I know that hits like that usually have kills. Then I would have to wonder, for 24 hours, whether or not Thak had survived the attack. (If you hear nothing within 24 hours, that's good news. They always get casualty notifications made within 24 hours, usually a lot less.) Every person who was with the unit at that point has similar stories. There is a lot more to tell also, but you get the idea. Thak ended that tour with a Bronze Star medal and a nasty case of PTSD. This, again, is not unique to us, although the former is far less common than the latter.
When the guys came home after the surge was over, the media circus continued. I wore a purple dress. I was pregnant with Orren, our R&R baby. Erin wore pink. We didn't care about the news cameras. We just scanned the crowd for Thak. We didn't see him, of course. All soldiers look pretty much the same in uniform, and Thak is rather short, so he gets lost in large formations more times than not. As we walked out of the gym where the homecoming ceremony was held, and the warm Georgia sun beat down on us, I noticed that Warrior's Walk, which had been just a small line of trees when we got there, and had grown to a few lines two tours ago, was now a forest of close to 500 trees. 500 trips the casualty notification officer had made around the area to notify some wife or relative of the news everybody dreads. I looked to my right, at Thak, and was grateful that he didn't have a tree there, but at the same time, wondered how we were so lucky, when 500 others were not.
Then life had to begin again. We had a baby to prepare for. We fought the housing office, and the housing office won, so we moved off post. Erin started Kindergarten just weeks after Thak got back home, so we had to prepare for that. A few months later, the orders came, and we left Ft. Stewart. We were glad to say goodbye to the deployments, and the death, and the injuries, and the fear. In part, I expected our new duty station to be as electrifying as Ft. Stewart had been when we first arrived there, but it wasn't. Everyone else had also come up on orders at about the same time (those who hadn't gotten out, that is), and they said exactly the same thing about their new duty stations. The energy wasn't there anymore.
I say the reason we all want to go back to Ft. Stewart is because we left our innocence there. When we arrived, we knew little of war, and even less of how long, drawn out, and ugly this one would turn out to be. We knew there were big things in store, and we were excited. Then the reality of it all came for us, and that bright-eyed, raring to go, crazy attitude was just as dead as the individuals the trees on the field represent. That is the first, and least obvious casualty of war. I don't know why we all want to go back to Ft. Stewart so bad. We won't find what we're looking for there, or anywhere else for that matter. What we will find, though, is the strength and wisdom that we gained doing something very difficult because we had no choice, and we will find that every single time we look in the mirror, or at one another. While we may want back what was lost so many years ago, what we have will stand in its place, whether we get back to Ft. Stewart or not.
The common thread is, we were all at Ft. Stewart when the biggest headline in the world fell right in our laps. It was us who woke up to Katie Couric hosting the morning news on our front lawn. It was our husbands who were in the brigade that those headlines affected. We weren't the glory seekers who claimed the credit. We were the ones who got it whether we wanted it or not. (Here's a hint. None of us wanted it.) Our husbands are the NCO's who lead the soldiers who took Baghdad back. We are the ones who got back what was left of them when the war had taken its share. We are very different people in a great many ways (although funny enough, we're all southern. I just realized that.) but in some very important ways, we are all the same. Our husbands did different jobs, grunts, gunners, mechanics, medics, you name it. We all did the same thing, though. We made it through the toughest 15 months the Army has dished out in our lifetime. Sometimes we got through on superstition (like my reading the Kuwaiti news reels every night before I went to bed), sometimes on pure strength, and sometimes we got through only on a wing and a prayer... and vodka. We got through, though, and we have seen each other at our absolute lowest, and our absolute proudest. We understand each other completely, because we were all shaped by the same thing, even though it took different forms with each. I am more of a skeptic than ever, while others are more patriotic than ever, and still others question for the first time. None of that matters, though.
The fact is also that we all miss Ft. Stewart, and we would all go back in a heartbeat. The girl whose husband is still Active Duty said that she went back last summer, and it wasn't great. In thinking back, Ft. Stewart was never great. It's in the middle of nowhere, the town outside the gates has only a Walmart, it has the smallest commissary I have ever seen, the housing market is impossible, the deployment schedule is the worst the Army has, and it smells funny. So why do we all miss Ft. Stewart?
I wager, it's because of what we left there. I'm not talking about my awesome crock pot that I left in my house on post when we moved either. No, I'm talking about something totally intangible that all of us left at Ft. Stewart, and that no matter how hard we try, we will never get back.
To understand this, you first need to understand what Ft. Stewart was like in 2004. I have a pretty good command of the English language in general, but I cannot find the words to truly do justice to the energy that surrounded Ft. Stewart prior to Thak's 2nd tour. We had just arrived there, and he had just been selected for the UAV program. Back then, they only took the best for that program. This was before there was an MOS for it that anybody could enlist for. No, they made that MOS based on Thak, and four of his peers, the five best generator mechanics in the Army. They sent them all to Arizona, trained them to work on the Army's new UAV system, and then sent them out to their units. Thak went to Ft. Stewart, and when we got there, the UAV unit was just setting up. It was all new. The unit didn't even exist on paper, and the work was still regarded as secretive. The entire town was hopping with the energy that comes of an entire division getting ready to deploy. Wives were preparing to move back home (this was during the days when easily 50% did that), soldiers were preparing to deploy, and if you went to Ranger Joe's on a Sunday, you couldn't find any E5 or E6 rank on the shelves, and you'd wait an hour for a haircut. The entire area was buzzing with activity, so much anticipation of what was to come. There was a lot of trepidation, too, of course. It was a war, after all. But there was a serious undercurrent of excitement. If you've ever watched the movie Pearl Harbor, think of the scene in the street where Red proposes to Betty. The energy in that part of the movie is exactly what Hinesville was like in 2004 and early 2005. Nobody hoped more, loved harder, or soaked up life nearly as zealously as we did right then.
Then they deployed. The tiny line of trees representing the troops lost during the 2003 deployment, grew to be several lines of trees. Thak was sent from his kushy assignment in Baghdad, to a remote location in a part of Iraq most people aren't familiar with if I tell them. He set records, had a hand in catching some really bad guys, and earned medals he probably would rather not tell you about. There were a lot of issues with that deployment, and when he got back, the electrical energy that had surrounded the post, was replaced by a lot of unrest.
Just when things started to settle out, and a sense of well-being returned, the president dropped a bomb on us. There would be a surge on Baghdad. Our guys woke up on orders, and were released early to come home and tell us the official news. We knew they would deploy again, just not that soon. That's when the media circus began, and it didn't stop for a year and a half. Our guys spent the next 3 months in the swamps and forests of south Georgia practicing their skills. There was no time to send them to the desert at National Training Center, so they brought trainers to us, and they did the pre-deployment train-up right in our own backyard... not that we saw them much at all. I was one of the lucky ones. Thak stayed at the airfield, and had some contact with me via email. Most weren't that lucky. Then after that was over, they let them take about a week's leave, and then they were gone, to the most volatile place on the planet.
For 15 months, mortars rained, IED's exploded, cars exploded, houses exploded, bullets flew, and bombs dropped. The camp Thak was staying at was nicknamed "The Shooting Gallery", because they got mortared so much. Multiple times in one week, his position was mortared while I was on the phone with him. Every time that happened, I heard the rounds hit before the phones went dead, so I knew it was a direct hit, and being a former soldier, I know that hits like that usually have kills. Then I would have to wonder, for 24 hours, whether or not Thak had survived the attack. (If you hear nothing within 24 hours, that's good news. They always get casualty notifications made within 24 hours, usually a lot less.) Every person who was with the unit at that point has similar stories. There is a lot more to tell also, but you get the idea. Thak ended that tour with a Bronze Star medal and a nasty case of PTSD. This, again, is not unique to us, although the former is far less common than the latter.
When the guys came home after the surge was over, the media circus continued. I wore a purple dress. I was pregnant with Orren, our R&R baby. Erin wore pink. We didn't care about the news cameras. We just scanned the crowd for Thak. We didn't see him, of course. All soldiers look pretty much the same in uniform, and Thak is rather short, so he gets lost in large formations more times than not. As we walked out of the gym where the homecoming ceremony was held, and the warm Georgia sun beat down on us, I noticed that Warrior's Walk, which had been just a small line of trees when we got there, and had grown to a few lines two tours ago, was now a forest of close to 500 trees. 500 trips the casualty notification officer had made around the area to notify some wife or relative of the news everybody dreads. I looked to my right, at Thak, and was grateful that he didn't have a tree there, but at the same time, wondered how we were so lucky, when 500 others were not.
Then life had to begin again. We had a baby to prepare for. We fought the housing office, and the housing office won, so we moved off post. Erin started Kindergarten just weeks after Thak got back home, so we had to prepare for that. A few months later, the orders came, and we left Ft. Stewart. We were glad to say goodbye to the deployments, and the death, and the injuries, and the fear. In part, I expected our new duty station to be as electrifying as Ft. Stewart had been when we first arrived there, but it wasn't. Everyone else had also come up on orders at about the same time (those who hadn't gotten out, that is), and they said exactly the same thing about their new duty stations. The energy wasn't there anymore.
I say the reason we all want to go back to Ft. Stewart is because we left our innocence there. When we arrived, we knew little of war, and even less of how long, drawn out, and ugly this one would turn out to be. We knew there were big things in store, and we were excited. Then the reality of it all came for us, and that bright-eyed, raring to go, crazy attitude was just as dead as the individuals the trees on the field represent. That is the first, and least obvious casualty of war. I don't know why we all want to go back to Ft. Stewart so bad. We won't find what we're looking for there, or anywhere else for that matter. What we will find, though, is the strength and wisdom that we gained doing something very difficult because we had no choice, and we will find that every single time we look in the mirror, or at one another. While we may want back what was lost so many years ago, what we have will stand in its place, whether we get back to Ft. Stewart or not.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Where do we go?
We found out good news and, well, not bad news, but just "other" news today.
The good news is that Thak will for sure not be deploying to Afghanistan immediately upon completion of his training. They deployed the entire two classes ahead of him, so they have enough free agent field service guys (I say free agent because they're not assigned to a unit over there. They just work with any unit's stuff.) and they're deploying Thak's class on a volunteer only basis. One guy volunteered, but the remaining seven want to be assigned to a unit instead. This means that we are definitely, 100% leaving El Paso when Thak finishes his training in a few months. We have found our ticket out of here!
Now, the billion dollar question... Are we going back to Ft. Stewart? The short answer is, we don't know. They're working on it, but we don't know yet if we have it or not. They're also still trying to work Ft. Bragg for us if Stewart doesn't come through. Again, we do not know. Now, they need to fill three slots immediately at Ft. Lewis, near Seattle. This is where it gets interesting. Follow me here.
3 slots need to be immediately filled at Ft. Lewis.
2 slots need to be filled immediately at Ft. Drum, upstate NY.
There are 8 students in Thak's class, 1 wants to deploy now, leaving 7 to assign.
This means there are VERY good odds we would get Lewis or Drum. We DO NOT WANT Drum. It is terrible, cold, and there is nothing for me there. If Thak stuck me in that place and deployed, I would hate his guts for the rest of my life. (OK, maybe not really, but at least until the snow thawed.)
With all this in mind, we put in a request for Ft. Lewis as sort of a defensive move, so that if they have to give us one of the assignments that they need people for, it'll at least be the good one. Keep in mind that Ft. Stewart is still listed as our first choice, and Ft. Bragg as our second. They are trying to get us one of those two, but if neither of them works out, then we are probably going to Ft. Lewis.
Why did we choose Ft. Lewis? Well, because we looked through all the other assignments they had, and while some were more in the part of the country we preferred to shoot for, they were in areas that didn't offer much for us. We need somewhere with at least half decent schools, because Erin needs a lot academically. On a purely superficial level, we'd prefer a place where there are more people like us. Thak will deploy eventually with this job, and I don't want to be alone in whatever corner of redneckville he decides to plunk me down in. Seattle has a huge alternative parenting scene, and I even know some cool people who are stationed there (activist friends who are also Active Duty! You know the kind!). Already knowing people there helps, and also being able to easily make contacts in the civilian community, because the military community at large is not terribly welcoming to contractors' families. The weather and the part of the country are drawbacks to Ft. Lewis, and I did not make this decision lightly, but my gut feeling told me to tell Thak to give Ft. Lewis as our third choice.
Now, the ten billion dollar question is when will we find out where we're going... The short answer is, we do not know. We're hoping to find out soon, and we may, or it may take a while. They know that everyone in the program has families, and they're all needing to be able to make plans and figure things out. Plus, the company has to make arrangements to move us all to our new assignments, and since the training is only 4 months, they need to figure out pretty soon where they're going to put us all, so that they can start hiring movers for us and stuff, and we can start house hunting.
My gut feeling at this point says that we are going to Ft. Lewis. Of course, last week, it said we were going to Ft. Stewart... So basically, we don't know, but soon we will.
The good news is that Thak will for sure not be deploying to Afghanistan immediately upon completion of his training. They deployed the entire two classes ahead of him, so they have enough free agent field service guys (I say free agent because they're not assigned to a unit over there. They just work with any unit's stuff.) and they're deploying Thak's class on a volunteer only basis. One guy volunteered, but the remaining seven want to be assigned to a unit instead. This means that we are definitely, 100% leaving El Paso when Thak finishes his training in a few months. We have found our ticket out of here!
Now, the billion dollar question... Are we going back to Ft. Stewart? The short answer is, we don't know. They're working on it, but we don't know yet if we have it or not. They're also still trying to work Ft. Bragg for us if Stewart doesn't come through. Again, we do not know. Now, they need to fill three slots immediately at Ft. Lewis, near Seattle. This is where it gets interesting. Follow me here.
3 slots need to be immediately filled at Ft. Lewis.
2 slots need to be filled immediately at Ft. Drum, upstate NY.
There are 8 students in Thak's class, 1 wants to deploy now, leaving 7 to assign.
This means there are VERY good odds we would get Lewis or Drum. We DO NOT WANT Drum. It is terrible, cold, and there is nothing for me there. If Thak stuck me in that place and deployed, I would hate his guts for the rest of my life. (OK, maybe not really, but at least until the snow thawed.)
With all this in mind, we put in a request for Ft. Lewis as sort of a defensive move, so that if they have to give us one of the assignments that they need people for, it'll at least be the good one. Keep in mind that Ft. Stewart is still listed as our first choice, and Ft. Bragg as our second. They are trying to get us one of those two, but if neither of them works out, then we are probably going to Ft. Lewis.
Why did we choose Ft. Lewis? Well, because we looked through all the other assignments they had, and while some were more in the part of the country we preferred to shoot for, they were in areas that didn't offer much for us. We need somewhere with at least half decent schools, because Erin needs a lot academically. On a purely superficial level, we'd prefer a place where there are more people like us. Thak will deploy eventually with this job, and I don't want to be alone in whatever corner of redneckville he decides to plunk me down in. Seattle has a huge alternative parenting scene, and I even know some cool people who are stationed there (activist friends who are also Active Duty! You know the kind!). Already knowing people there helps, and also being able to easily make contacts in the civilian community, because the military community at large is not terribly welcoming to contractors' families. The weather and the part of the country are drawbacks to Ft. Lewis, and I did not make this decision lightly, but my gut feeling told me to tell Thak to give Ft. Lewis as our third choice.
Now, the ten billion dollar question is when will we find out where we're going... The short answer is, we do not know. We're hoping to find out soon, and we may, or it may take a while. They know that everyone in the program has families, and they're all needing to be able to make plans and figure things out. Plus, the company has to make arrangements to move us all to our new assignments, and since the training is only 4 months, they need to figure out pretty soon where they're going to put us all, so that they can start hiring movers for us and stuff, and we can start house hunting.
My gut feeling at this point says that we are going to Ft. Lewis. Of course, last week, it said we were going to Ft. Stewart... So basically, we don't know, but soon we will.
I am too old for this shit.
I feel the need to remind everybody of something straight out of Captain Obvious's playbook. If you don't like someone, just ignore them. Sure, you may end up at the same get-togethers as them from time to time. It is what it is. Just don't have anything to do with them. They don't need to know what you think of them, or how you feel. You gain nothing by letting them know just how badly their existence fucks your day up. They probably don't care anyway. Just go on about your business, be with people who you think are cool, and let the people who aren't cool go on their merry way, too.
What's more, I absolutely flat refuse to take sides in some stupid drama. For one thing, you guys, I'm 30 years old. No joke. Do you have any idea how bad it looks for somebody my age to be playing these girl wars as if we were rival sororities in college or something? Drama doesn't suit anybody, but once you get about my age, it really starts to look like crap. DO NOT involve me. I am not playing. No, I will not rat you out to the people you are talking about and attempting to get me to talk about. Just as I will not be roped into drama, I also will not instigate it. No, I'd rather just not hear it. You will NOT rope me into that, and you will not put me in a position of having information that's just too good to keep to myself. Why? Because I don't care.
I have stuff going on in my life right now that trumps all that garbage. I have three kids. I'm kicking ass at breastfeeding, mucking my way through the "interesting" 3's (I refuse to say terrible in the context of my awesome preschooler), and plugging away at everything Erin's learning disabilities are throwing at us. Not to mention, my husband is working out of state, so I'm doing all of this by myself for at least the next few months, AND I've recently take up belly dancing, so I'm dancing like 2-3 times a week. When I'm not dancing, I'm usually at La Leche League, or playgroup, or hanging out with friends otherwise. I've recently gotten involved with a local Attachment Parenting group, and the friends I have made through there keep me really busy whenever I have a moment's downtime. Not to mention, my evenings are usually spent talking with Thak, who again, is working in out of state.
My recommendation to everybody? Just stop it. Surround yourself with people who are no-BS, and who aren't going to stab you in the back. Also, get a hobby. You have no idea how much of a difference there is in my life since I started dancing. I'm not telling everyone to belly dance (although, if you want to, that would be cool!) I'm just saying, do SOMETHING, preferably physically active, preferably with other people, preferably out of the house. I think as moms, we end up kind of sequestered in our own little worlds for a while, and at some point, we have to break back out into the world again. Dancing was my opportunity to do just that, and when the opportunity came, I jumped at it. Do not let opportunities to get back out into the world pass you by. Trust me, when you have stuff going on, petty drama among people you don't even have all that much in common with isn't some big deal. Even if you don't take my advice, just stop trying to involve me in the drama. I'm not interested... and yeah, I really am too old for that shit.
What's more, I absolutely flat refuse to take sides in some stupid drama. For one thing, you guys, I'm 30 years old. No joke. Do you have any idea how bad it looks for somebody my age to be playing these girl wars as if we were rival sororities in college or something? Drama doesn't suit anybody, but once you get about my age, it really starts to look like crap. DO NOT involve me. I am not playing. No, I will not rat you out to the people you are talking about and attempting to get me to talk about. Just as I will not be roped into drama, I also will not instigate it. No, I'd rather just not hear it. You will NOT rope me into that, and you will not put me in a position of having information that's just too good to keep to myself. Why? Because I don't care.
I have stuff going on in my life right now that trumps all that garbage. I have three kids. I'm kicking ass at breastfeeding, mucking my way through the "interesting" 3's (I refuse to say terrible in the context of my awesome preschooler), and plugging away at everything Erin's learning disabilities are throwing at us. Not to mention, my husband is working out of state, so I'm doing all of this by myself for at least the next few months, AND I've recently take up belly dancing, so I'm dancing like 2-3 times a week. When I'm not dancing, I'm usually at La Leche League, or playgroup, or hanging out with friends otherwise. I've recently gotten involved with a local Attachment Parenting group, and the friends I have made through there keep me really busy whenever I have a moment's downtime. Not to mention, my evenings are usually spent talking with Thak, who again, is working in out of state.
My recommendation to everybody? Just stop it. Surround yourself with people who are no-BS, and who aren't going to stab you in the back. Also, get a hobby. You have no idea how much of a difference there is in my life since I started dancing. I'm not telling everyone to belly dance (although, if you want to, that would be cool!) I'm just saying, do SOMETHING, preferably physically active, preferably with other people, preferably out of the house. I think as moms, we end up kind of sequestered in our own little worlds for a while, and at some point, we have to break back out into the world again. Dancing was my opportunity to do just that, and when the opportunity came, I jumped at it. Do not let opportunities to get back out into the world pass you by. Trust me, when you have stuff going on, petty drama among people you don't even have all that much in common with isn't some big deal. Even if you don't take my advice, just stop trying to involve me in the drama. I'm not interested... and yeah, I really am too old for that shit.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Day 1 at AAI
There is a lot about Thak's new job that he can't tell me. He is working at a higher level of security than he has ever worked before, so we will not always know the things he does at work. That's ok. I know that he is very good at what he does, whatever that may be, so it's fine with me. We do know a few things, though.
First of all, no, we do not yet know where we are going when he finishes training, or for certain if he will deploy right away or not. We get the feeling that he will not be deploying right away, just because there are a few in his class who want to deploy right away, so if they need people to do that, there will be volunteers. We still have a semi-good shot at Ft. Stewart, although there's another guy who wants to go there, too, and he owns a house there already, so he may take priority over us. He also wants to deploy right away, though (to pay off the mortgage of said house) so he may or may not be competition for Thak when it comes to Ft. Stewart. There are also some things that can be done to sort of make the right people more aware of his positive work history with the crew at Ft. Stewart, and that is an angle that is worth pursuing. We'll find out more about that tomorrow. For now, though, Ft. Stewart is still likely, but a bit shaky. Bragg seems like a better shot right now, and we just found out there's a pretty high chance that if neither of those comes through, we'll be going to Ft. Lewis. That's near Seattle. I don't particularly want to go to Ft. Lewis, but if that's where they put us, then we'll do our best with it. Thak is still pushing hard for Stewart or Bragg, and hopefully one of those comes through. Just, Ft. Lewis having three open positions, that's something that changes the game a little.
We also found out a lot of relevant information about benefits, pay, and everything else, and I have to go over stuff, and give Thak my opinion on a lot of it tomorrow. He has to fill out paperwork at the end of the week for it all, so I definitely need to get going on that. I understand these things better than he does, so I handle this end of things. He fixes engines and circuits, and he does it incredibly well. That's his end of things. I deal with the behind the scenes decisions.
We also found out that after he comes home for the holidays, he will not be going back to Maryland. Instead, he will be training for the next couple months in Utah, at the same facility he almost got hired at before. That is good news, because plane tickets from there to here are like less than he makes each week in per diem, so we'll be able to afford to fly him home very frequently at really no cost to us (out of regular pay, that is). We will DEFINITELY be doing that as often as we can.
In other news, Orren is having a VERY hard time with daddy being gone. He is totally heartbroken, and just all out of sorts. He has had a hard time sleeping, and was asking on the phone today if daddy would come home. It's really bad to see him this way, poor little guy. Erin and Chai are both totally fine. Erin's a pro at this. She was there for two out of three Iraq deployments, so she knows a month and a half, followed by two and a half more months, is really not very much. Chai is happy as long someone feeds and changes him, and that's usually me anyway, so his life has not changed much. Poor little Orren is the one who's gotten the brunt of this thing, which is exactly what we'd expected, unfortunately.
So we're just getting through it one day at a time. This defense contractor wife gig is weird already, and I'm only a day into it. I'll tell more about that later. I'm really tired now, so I'm going to go to bed, because tomorrow, we will spend the morning belly dancing, and the afternoon doing whatever else we can figure out to do, and the end of this thing will be that much closer.
First of all, no, we do not yet know where we are going when he finishes training, or for certain if he will deploy right away or not. We get the feeling that he will not be deploying right away, just because there are a few in his class who want to deploy right away, so if they need people to do that, there will be volunteers. We still have a semi-good shot at Ft. Stewart, although there's another guy who wants to go there, too, and he owns a house there already, so he may take priority over us. He also wants to deploy right away, though (to pay off the mortgage of said house) so he may or may not be competition for Thak when it comes to Ft. Stewart. There are also some things that can be done to sort of make the right people more aware of his positive work history with the crew at Ft. Stewart, and that is an angle that is worth pursuing. We'll find out more about that tomorrow. For now, though, Ft. Stewart is still likely, but a bit shaky. Bragg seems like a better shot right now, and we just found out there's a pretty high chance that if neither of those comes through, we'll be going to Ft. Lewis. That's near Seattle. I don't particularly want to go to Ft. Lewis, but if that's where they put us, then we'll do our best with it. Thak is still pushing hard for Stewart or Bragg, and hopefully one of those comes through. Just, Ft. Lewis having three open positions, that's something that changes the game a little.
We also found out a lot of relevant information about benefits, pay, and everything else, and I have to go over stuff, and give Thak my opinion on a lot of it tomorrow. He has to fill out paperwork at the end of the week for it all, so I definitely need to get going on that. I understand these things better than he does, so I handle this end of things. He fixes engines and circuits, and he does it incredibly well. That's his end of things. I deal with the behind the scenes decisions.
We also found out that after he comes home for the holidays, he will not be going back to Maryland. Instead, he will be training for the next couple months in Utah, at the same facility he almost got hired at before. That is good news, because plane tickets from there to here are like less than he makes each week in per diem, so we'll be able to afford to fly him home very frequently at really no cost to us (out of regular pay, that is). We will DEFINITELY be doing that as often as we can.
In other news, Orren is having a VERY hard time with daddy being gone. He is totally heartbroken, and just all out of sorts. He has had a hard time sleeping, and was asking on the phone today if daddy would come home. It's really bad to see him this way, poor little guy. Erin and Chai are both totally fine. Erin's a pro at this. She was there for two out of three Iraq deployments, so she knows a month and a half, followed by two and a half more months, is really not very much. Chai is happy as long someone feeds and changes him, and that's usually me anyway, so his life has not changed much. Poor little Orren is the one who's gotten the brunt of this thing, which is exactly what we'd expected, unfortunately.
So we're just getting through it one day at a time. This defense contractor wife gig is weird already, and I'm only a day into it. I'll tell more about that later. I'm really tired now, so I'm going to go to bed, because tomorrow, we will spend the morning belly dancing, and the afternoon doing whatever else we can figure out to do, and the end of this thing will be that much closer.
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Day 0
We just took Thak to the airport. He is on his way to Maryland now, to start his new job as a civilian contractor. On the way there, he did what Thak always does when he's leaving for a long time, and told me what he expected of me, and what he wants to do when he comes back. It's always really obvious simple things. This time, he told me to continue going to play group, and La Leche League, and belly dancing, and to help a friend of ours who is going through some hard times. He also told me that he wants me to get all the meat together for our Christmas barbecue BEFORE he gets home, since he'll be flying in on Christmas Eve. He told the kids to be good, told Erin to help me with things, and set a good example for her brothers, and Orren and Chai to be good boys.
When we got to the airport, there wasn't much time, and Orren was having a hard time saying goodbye to daddy, so Thak put his Buddha amulet on Orren, and told him to be strong, and that he would be home for his birthday. Orren made it halfway to the car before he completely lost it, and wanted to see daddy again. This is the first time Thak has left Orren for anything longer than a drill weekend, and he's only left for drill once. Other than that, the only times he's been gone from Orren were 24 hours or less, like when he would have to pull staff duty in the Army, or when he flew to Utah for an interview with this same company. Orren had a hard time today, but I think tomorrow, when we don't go to the airport to pick daddy up and bring him home, it will be even harder for him. He is such a daddy's boy.
This will also be my first time left alone with three kids for any extended period of time. The entire reason Thak got out of the Army was to avoid this situation, but it is what it is. Thak is a civilian contractor now, and he has gone to get back the life that we lost when he got out of the Army. Three more weeks, and we'll be well on our way to being totally ok again. It cannot come soon enough.
We still know nothing about what is going to happen after he gets done with his training. We know that his training is probably about four months, and that he will be home for Christmas. We also are pretty sure that he will have to go to a post somewhere for a few weeks in the course of that to help with a UAV reset. With the units coming back to Ft. Bliss soon, and the timing of that, the odds are decent that he may be here for that, which would be a few weeks. AAI is so family friendly, if there is any possible way he will be able to do the reset training here at Bliss, they will make it happen. Again, we won't know anything about that for a while, so we're just going to cross that bridge when we come to it, and not think about it too much until it's time. We also do not know what post we will go to, if any, or if he will deploy immediately when he finishes his training. They will try to place him at Ft. Stewart since that is his first choice, and if Stewart is impossible, they will try to give him Ft. Bragg (his second choice). If neither of those is possible, we just found out there are two openings at Ft. Drum, so we've got about a 25% chance of going to upstate New York. I really do not want to move to Ft. Drum. There is nothing for me there. If that's what they give us, though, we'll take it now and transfer later. Again, this is a bridge to cross when we come to it, and we're definitely not there yet.
So on Day 0, here's Orren with daddy's Buddha amulet on. This is the amulet that protected Thak during his 3rd tour in Iraq, so it's pretty great, and will help Orren.
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