A week after we got the keys to our new house, we have finally cleared the old house. We pulled out of the driveway for the last time at 4 pm and went to turn in our keys. Now it's on them to either do the right thing by us, or completely screw us senseless, but whatever it is, it's out of our hands.
We did most everything they asked for, but every single thing we could. The only thing we didn't get around to was the oven. Oh well. They may dock us $100 or so for that, but there just wasn't time, and honestly, the rest of the house is freaking amazing looking. It really does look brand new, which is amazing considering it was built in 1970-something. Thak was there until 1 am last night scrubbing tile grout. That was the last thing that had to be done. This morning, we went and hauled one last load of stuff to the dump, one to the recycling center on post, and two more of stuff to the new house. (We'll let you in on a little secret. A 2 car garage holds a lot of stuff, more than you can imagine until you have to move it all.) Then that was that, and we were done. It's out of our hands now. We did our best. We are hoping to get back at least $1000 of our security deposit. When you consider how much we paid, and that we left the house pretty much exactly the way we found it, that is very realistic.
Now the real work begins. We have to unpack all this stuff. All my careful deliberate packing was limited to the boxes I packed BEFORE we got the keys to this place. Everything else is more or less thrown into boxes in a big state of mayhem by Thak, Erin, Orren, and true friends who actually showed up to help us, which was awesome of them. It's going to be very interesting unpacking all that stuff, but we'll get it done.
I think we're going to have one major epic yard sale in the very near future. We got rid of a TON of stuff in the move (2 truck loads to the dump, 1 truck load to recycling, and 1 truck load to Goodwill, so in total, 4 truck loads of stuff we got rid of) but there is more that we won't need, or that won't find a place in this house, and since we're sticking around here for a while, there is no sense in hanging onto things that don't work for this house. We no longer live by the Active Duty adage "Never get rid of window treatments" because this house needs what it needs, and that's that for us for the next 5 years. We also no longer have the Active Duty convenience of people to move our junk for us when we do decide to leave this place.
I think stuff-wise, this move was a major lesson for us. There was stuff in that garage still in its boxes from Ft. Stewart, and not even the most recent house we lived in there either. That stuff either got donated (if it was good) or thrown away (if it was not in usable condition). If we haven't used it in this many years, obviously we don't need it. In the military, it's almost encouraged to accumulate junk. Post housing units have so much storage that people can just amass things. Once you get to be about Thak's rank, the moving weight allowances get to be insanely huge, such that unless you have a ton of kids, you really don't have to thin down your hoarding at all for the Army to move you, no questions asked. This time, having to move ourselves, and seeing just how much crap we had, it was kind of insane, to be honest. Me and Thak both agree that we're never letting it get to this point again. There is just no reason for it.
The new house is awesome. Erin's room is drastically smaller than her old room, but honestly, with her, that just means less space to trash, so it's not a bad thing. It's also good that her room is no longer right beside Orren and the baby's room, because she can't just jump next door and trash their room like she did in the old house. Basically, the biggest problem we had in the old house was Erin more or less having three rooms to completely trash (her room, Orren's room, and the playroom). That was the hardest thing to keep up with. Now that Erin only has one room to trash, and it's the smallest room in the house, it will probably be easier to stay on top of. (And if even one person says, "Well, teach her not to trash her room!" I will put my foot up their ass. Have you ever met Erin?!! Let's just say.... I've tried.)
Orren and the baby's room is, amazingly, the perfect size and shape! We got the bed, the dresser, the crib/changing table, and the rocking chair and ottoman to fit in there pretty much like puzzle pieces. While the baby is still young, he/she and Orren will share one dresser. When he/she gets to be preschool age, we'll ditch the crib (which turns into a toddler bed) in favor of bunk beds and put a second dresser where the crib is now. It'll all work out great.
I just got an ingenious idea for the kids' bathroom yesterday while at the old house, watching Orren play with a toilet plunger in the garage. (Yeah, what of it? Everyone's done it before!) I want to keep the monkey theme and the bright blue and green color scheme for their bathroom, but I want to letter the Shel Silverstein poem "Hat" on the wall, along with the illustration that appears with it in the book. (The poem goes, "Teddy said it was a hat, so I put it on. Now dad is saying, "Where the heck's the toilet plunger gone?") If you know my kids, you know this poem totally fits them. Plus, who doesn't love Shel Silverstein?? Oh, and I'd be willing to bet not a lot of people have "Hat" immortalized on their bathroom walls. Writing on the walls is very trendy these days, but most people stick to cliche things like "Live, Laugh, Love". Not a lot venture into rhymes about wearing a toilet plunger on your head. Well, I, for one, am going there!
Me and Thak's room is outstanding. It's one of the biggest rooms in the house for sure, and our closet is the size of Erin's bedroom in our on-post house at Ft. Stewart. It's pretty great. Thak proposed we paint it blue. I told him he was crazy. No decisions on what we're going to do with it yet, but blue walls are definitely not in our future. We have to think about this one more.
Our great room also presents its own set of decorating challenges, but it will come together. Right now, I've done well by just having Thak leave most of the old furniture in the garage. The couch, chair, coffee table, and dining room set can stay. Everything else, I'm trying it piece by piece, but honestly, I want a far nicer bookcase than what we have had, and I'm not sure what else. It was funny, when he asked me where I wanted our big bookcase when we were moving stuff into here, and I said "On the driveway with a price tag on it." Everyone laughed. In actuality, it's in the garage. I don't see bringing it in here, though. I don't like it with this house.
The yard is going to be fun and interesting. We're going to get landscape timbers and make the raised bed for a garden, maybe tomorrow. We'll try to get the dirt to fill it kind of on the cheap. Sometimes you can find topsoil for free on Craigslist. We'll be calling around. We also have to build a new clothesline since the one we had would not come out of the ground, and therefore, stayed at the old house. (Hopefully they see it as a bonus, and not a blemish!) Also of immediate importance is to seed the backyard in grass. That, we'll probably do tomorrow. It just needs to happen so the kids can play out there better. Right now, our entire lot is dirt, which is both good and bad. It's bad because, well, we live on a fricking dirt lot. It's good because we can do literally anything with it, with relative ease, compared to if there were existing landscaping and we wanted to change it. It's a blank canvas, which is honestly pretty cool.
So that's about it. We're moved. We still have about five tons of work to do, but we're closer than we were yesterday.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Moved.... sort of.
Last night was our first night in our new house. We got most of our stuff moved yesterday, all the big stuff anyhow, and got it mostly set up. Today, we hauled more loads of stuff, and are, I'd say at least 90% moved as far as the stuff goes. There is still a ton of stuff to do at the old house before we're ready to turn our keys in on Thursday.
We have to book carpet cleaners, of course scrub all the walls, fans, baseboards, and everything, and do all the outside stuff (Yup, that means Thak's going to have to do his once a year mowing). Of course, there is also the grout. It would cost about $800 to have it cleaned, so we're definitely doing it ourselves. Most of the kitchen is done, and so are both bathrooms, so there is still a lot to do, but some level of progress at least. Tomorrow, we're hoping to be done with all the bedrooms completely by the end of the day so that we can have carpet cleaners come on Tuesday. We also have to replace the blinds in the kids' rooms because they destroyed them, and still have to paint over Erin's fun with Sharpies. Yeah, yeah, the landlord said don't paint. We're not leaving the walls with Sharpie marks on them. That would be really bad.
Another job in and of itself is going to be getting the crayon marks off the walls throughout the rest of the house, from when Orren went through his phase of drawing on the walls. At least we know how to do that. Go-Jo hand cleaner works wonders on crayon marks on walls! Nothing else works.
I'm also going to take a TON of pictures, if I can find where my camera went, to document what the house looks like when we move, because in removing the furniture and appliances from it, I can see that there are some things that are probably going to get us charged some money. Where the water line in the wall came undone, there seems to be some mold growing. That was behind the refrigerator, so we didn't have any way of knowing it until we moved the refrigerator over here yesterday. Also, where our dresser was, the baseboard seems to be separating from the wall. I KNOW these things are not our fault, so if we're charged for them, I'll be pretty mad.
I'm just really glad to be out from under this renting thing. We were sick of living in houses that don't belong to us, and we can't do whatever we want with. It's a whole different ballgame already with this house. Our builder is amazing. He has worked with us so well, and done so much for us. The neighborhood is awesome. It's really funny because the two houses across the street are owned by people from Thak's old battalion, and there's someone else from the battalion just a block over. We know a lot of people in this neighborhood.
There is a lot we want to do for this house, and it's going to take some time, of course, but we're definitely going to do it all eventually. Erin's room is going to get painted purple. Orren and the baby's room is going to be a lovely shade of spring green, with a woodland theme. We actually got all the furniture to fit in there really well. Erin's room is smaller than her old room, so she had to give up her desk and her bookcase, but it's not that big a deal. She has her own room. A lot of kids would kill for that. Orren and the baby's room is bigger, but again, there's two of them.
We also have to seed the backyard in grass, and build our raised bed for the garden (it's really the only way to get anything to grow here). Thak found an ad on Craigslist for free horse manure, and wanted to go get some today. I convinced him to wait until all our stuff had been moved. Horse manure all over everything, and moving into the new house like that, is not the best idea.
Now, the other million dollar question of this move is, are we keeping Erin in the same school. The answer is, if they'll send us an acceptance letter for next year, you bet your ass we are. We haven't gotten an acceptance letter yet, though, and the first batch of them went out over a week ago. We haven't heard anything back yet on our application for readmission, so honestly, I'm kind of assuming best case scenario, they overbooked the 2nd grade and haven't held the lottery yet, or worst case scenario, they have held the lottery, and we didn't get in. When we know something, we'll say something. (Oh, and no, our new house isn't "like a million miles" from Erin's school. It's an 18 minute drive, all highway. From the old house, it was 20 minutes, everyone else's school zones, and ten million red lights. Plus, have we EVER been the kind of people who would let distance dictate where we send our kid to school?) We also do not know if Erin will be attending summer school this year or not. We haven't received notification of that yet either, only that there will be summer school. My gut feeling says that she will be on the list for summer school. She's on the list for everything. There's no way this would be any different. So no, we don't know anything really about the school situation for next year. We only know that this school year continues most of the way through the month of June.
Orren is, well, Orren. He's outstanding. He's still 100% on potty, and just growing up so fast. He loves trucks, and points them out to us in traffic all the time, the bigger the better. He loves concrete mixers, garbage trucks, UPS trucks, semis, everything. He also really loves playing in the dirt. He's also a total daddy's boy now that daddy's been home all the time for the past week or so. He doesn't want anyone but daddy. Mommy and sissy are well and good, but daddy is just better.
The baby is doing fine. He/She is still big, and not breech like we'd thought for a while. I am very much over being pregnant, and don't really want to do this anymore. Between the terrible heartburn, having to pee every 5 minutes, being hot no matter how cold the house is, and not being able to get comfortable at all, I haven't been able to sleep hardly at all in weeks, so I'm completely exhausted, and everyone wants everything from me. I am at least happy that I'm not sick anymore (knock on wood), like I was for the past week and a half, and that Thak finally helped me with some of the move. Plans are still going forward for our homebirth. Within the next few weeks, we'll be buying our homebirth kit. Alyson says people have to have all that stuff by 36 weeks, just in case, even though we don't expect this baby to come anything before 41 or 42 weeks. We'll have everything on hand very soon, and since our new bathtub is way smaller than our old one, I've given some thought to renting or buying a labor/birth pool. I haven't told Thak about that yet, though. The good news is that our bedroom here is enormous, so there's more than enough room for one!
Anyhow, here are some pictures of the house:
(Does this one give some idea of where it's located? We're WAY closer to the mountain now!)
We have to book carpet cleaners, of course scrub all the walls, fans, baseboards, and everything, and do all the outside stuff (Yup, that means Thak's going to have to do his once a year mowing). Of course, there is also the grout. It would cost about $800 to have it cleaned, so we're definitely doing it ourselves. Most of the kitchen is done, and so are both bathrooms, so there is still a lot to do, but some level of progress at least. Tomorrow, we're hoping to be done with all the bedrooms completely by the end of the day so that we can have carpet cleaners come on Tuesday. We also have to replace the blinds in the kids' rooms because they destroyed them, and still have to paint over Erin's fun with Sharpies. Yeah, yeah, the landlord said don't paint. We're not leaving the walls with Sharpie marks on them. That would be really bad.
Another job in and of itself is going to be getting the crayon marks off the walls throughout the rest of the house, from when Orren went through his phase of drawing on the walls. At least we know how to do that. Go-Jo hand cleaner works wonders on crayon marks on walls! Nothing else works.
I'm also going to take a TON of pictures, if I can find where my camera went, to document what the house looks like when we move, because in removing the furniture and appliances from it, I can see that there are some things that are probably going to get us charged some money. Where the water line in the wall came undone, there seems to be some mold growing. That was behind the refrigerator, so we didn't have any way of knowing it until we moved the refrigerator over here yesterday. Also, where our dresser was, the baseboard seems to be separating from the wall. I KNOW these things are not our fault, so if we're charged for them, I'll be pretty mad.
I'm just really glad to be out from under this renting thing. We were sick of living in houses that don't belong to us, and we can't do whatever we want with. It's a whole different ballgame already with this house. Our builder is amazing. He has worked with us so well, and done so much for us. The neighborhood is awesome. It's really funny because the two houses across the street are owned by people from Thak's old battalion, and there's someone else from the battalion just a block over. We know a lot of people in this neighborhood.
There is a lot we want to do for this house, and it's going to take some time, of course, but we're definitely going to do it all eventually. Erin's room is going to get painted purple. Orren and the baby's room is going to be a lovely shade of spring green, with a woodland theme. We actually got all the furniture to fit in there really well. Erin's room is smaller than her old room, so she had to give up her desk and her bookcase, but it's not that big a deal. She has her own room. A lot of kids would kill for that. Orren and the baby's room is bigger, but again, there's two of them.
We also have to seed the backyard in grass, and build our raised bed for the garden (it's really the only way to get anything to grow here). Thak found an ad on Craigslist for free horse manure, and wanted to go get some today. I convinced him to wait until all our stuff had been moved. Horse manure all over everything, and moving into the new house like that, is not the best idea.
Now, the other million dollar question of this move is, are we keeping Erin in the same school. The answer is, if they'll send us an acceptance letter for next year, you bet your ass we are. We haven't gotten an acceptance letter yet, though, and the first batch of them went out over a week ago. We haven't heard anything back yet on our application for readmission, so honestly, I'm kind of assuming best case scenario, they overbooked the 2nd grade and haven't held the lottery yet, or worst case scenario, they have held the lottery, and we didn't get in. When we know something, we'll say something. (Oh, and no, our new house isn't "like a million miles" from Erin's school. It's an 18 minute drive, all highway. From the old house, it was 20 minutes, everyone else's school zones, and ten million red lights. Plus, have we EVER been the kind of people who would let distance dictate where we send our kid to school?) We also do not know if Erin will be attending summer school this year or not. We haven't received notification of that yet either, only that there will be summer school. My gut feeling says that she will be on the list for summer school. She's on the list for everything. There's no way this would be any different. So no, we don't know anything really about the school situation for next year. We only know that this school year continues most of the way through the month of June.
Orren is, well, Orren. He's outstanding. He's still 100% on potty, and just growing up so fast. He loves trucks, and points them out to us in traffic all the time, the bigger the better. He loves concrete mixers, garbage trucks, UPS trucks, semis, everything. He also really loves playing in the dirt. He's also a total daddy's boy now that daddy's been home all the time for the past week or so. He doesn't want anyone but daddy. Mommy and sissy are well and good, but daddy is just better.
The baby is doing fine. He/She is still big, and not breech like we'd thought for a while. I am very much over being pregnant, and don't really want to do this anymore. Between the terrible heartburn, having to pee every 5 minutes, being hot no matter how cold the house is, and not being able to get comfortable at all, I haven't been able to sleep hardly at all in weeks, so I'm completely exhausted, and everyone wants everything from me. I am at least happy that I'm not sick anymore (knock on wood), like I was for the past week and a half, and that Thak finally helped me with some of the move. Plans are still going forward for our homebirth. Within the next few weeks, we'll be buying our homebirth kit. Alyson says people have to have all that stuff by 36 weeks, just in case, even though we don't expect this baby to come anything before 41 or 42 weeks. We'll have everything on hand very soon, and since our new bathtub is way smaller than our old one, I've given some thought to renting or buying a labor/birth pool. I haven't told Thak about that yet, though. The good news is that our bedroom here is enormous, so there's more than enough room for one!
Anyhow, here are some pictures of the house:
(Does this one give some idea of where it's located? We're WAY closer to the mountain now!)
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
No, in fact I would not prefer a girl!
Why does everyone want me to have a girl? It's annoying. Yes, I know girls wear pink and look cute, and all kinds of stuff. I have one. She'll be almost 8 when this baby is born. That means that there's no way in holy hell that my two girls, if this baby is a girl, can ever share a bedroom. That means that this baby, boy or girl, will share with Orren. Orren is a boy. It would be FAR more practical to have another boy. Not to mention, we have EVERYTHING of Orren's leftover, and not nearly everything of Erin's, so a boy would be easier in that way, too.
Now, do I THINK this baby is a boy? No. I really don't. I kind of wish it were, though. I just don't know why everyone else is so hung up on the idea of me having a girl. Don't they see that would actually be less than ideal? Aside from the fact that I like the girl name we have picked better than the boy name, I cannot think of one single reason why it would be in any way better to have a girl than a boy.
Now, do I THINK this baby is a boy? No. I really don't. I kind of wish it were, though. I just don't know why everyone else is so hung up on the idea of me having a girl. Don't they see that would actually be less than ideal? Aside from the fact that I like the girl name we have picked better than the boy name, I cannot think of one single reason why it would be in any way better to have a girl than a boy.
Feeling better, but sick of moving.
I'm FINALLY feeling decently better. I'm still coughing up a storm, and can't sleep for anything, but I have some level of energy, and don't feel like passing out every time I move, and my appetite is coming back, so I can eat. I know I lost weight this past week from not eating, but the baby's still active, so I'm sure he/she is ok.
Yesterday I got most of the kitchen packed, and all of Orren's room. I still have to do the rest of the kitchen, me and Thak's room, and both bathrooms. After that, I guess I'll start on some of the harder cleaning things. I bought some cleaning products today that I would ordinarily never buy because they're extremely toxic, but honestly, if it'll get me that security deposit back, I'm ok with it just this once. I'll wear gloves.
Oh, and people, shut up with the grout cleaning suggestions. I don't CARE how successful you were at just pouring bleach over the entire floor and leaving it at that. First of all, I'm going to bet your house was A LOT smaller than mine, because holy crap that would be a lot of bleach and I'm so NOT going there. Secondly, we have colored grout, and cannot use bleach on it. I also don't care how successful you were scrubbing your kitchen or bathroom's floor tile grout with a toothbrush. I am not scrubbing 1600 square feet of grout with a fucking toothbrush. Even my Drill Sergeant would find that a little sadistic. I bought floor cleaner, and big scrub brushes, and I will make it work. Shockingly, I've patch tested things in various parts of the house, and know how I'm going to do this. (Come on, people. I'm a former engineer. Do you really think I haven't run tests on this by now?)
I also need more boxes, and I'm hoping NOT to have to do that all by myself, or wait a year to get them, so if I can pry the rest of my family off the couch and away from that stupid TV (I am seriously ready to kill the TV. I honestly am considering cutting the cable off when we move.) then we'll go to the recycling center on post and get some more boxes. I'm tired of living among boxes, but only four more days. I'm also really glad that I did get an early start on packing. I wasn't really banking on doing all of it by myself nor on getting super sick right in the middle of it, but that's how it ended up, so I guess we're pretty lucky that I got an early start on it, because it's all going to get done, even with these unforeseen delays.
Yesterday I got most of the kitchen packed, and all of Orren's room. I still have to do the rest of the kitchen, me and Thak's room, and both bathrooms. After that, I guess I'll start on some of the harder cleaning things. I bought some cleaning products today that I would ordinarily never buy because they're extremely toxic, but honestly, if it'll get me that security deposit back, I'm ok with it just this once. I'll wear gloves.
Oh, and people, shut up with the grout cleaning suggestions. I don't CARE how successful you were at just pouring bleach over the entire floor and leaving it at that. First of all, I'm going to bet your house was A LOT smaller than mine, because holy crap that would be a lot of bleach and I'm so NOT going there. Secondly, we have colored grout, and cannot use bleach on it. I also don't care how successful you were scrubbing your kitchen or bathroom's floor tile grout with a toothbrush. I am not scrubbing 1600 square feet of grout with a fucking toothbrush. Even my Drill Sergeant would find that a little sadistic. I bought floor cleaner, and big scrub brushes, and I will make it work. Shockingly, I've patch tested things in various parts of the house, and know how I'm going to do this. (Come on, people. I'm a former engineer. Do you really think I haven't run tests on this by now?)
I also need more boxes, and I'm hoping NOT to have to do that all by myself, or wait a year to get them, so if I can pry the rest of my family off the couch and away from that stupid TV (I am seriously ready to kill the TV. I honestly am considering cutting the cable off when we move.) then we'll go to the recycling center on post and get some more boxes. I'm tired of living among boxes, but only four more days. I'm also really glad that I did get an early start on packing. I wasn't really banking on doing all of it by myself nor on getting super sick right in the middle of it, but that's how it ended up, so I guess we're pretty lucky that I got an early start on it, because it's all going to get done, even with these unforeseen delays.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Old news, but good that people are talking about it.
ABC, just today, ran a story on the AAP's recommendation to keep kids rear-facing in their carseats until at least age 2. It's good advice. It's been around for several years, yes, but it's good that people are finally talking about it.
I do find that it is very interesting how much it has changed over the past year. A year ago, we were the ONLY family we knew at this post that kept our toddler rear-facing. When I said anything about it, people told me I was crazy. Today, it's a different story. I'm not the only one talking about this stuff, and other people say, "Yeah, my toddler is rear-facing, too!" or "We don't plan on turning him around until he's 2!" and stuff like that. The word is getting out.
Even so, there are a lot of people who are just painfully ignorant, and they are the loudest. It's really kind of sad. Some lady was saying, "Use common sense! Would you make an entire car ride sitting indian style?!" How about using common sense, and seeing that in Sweden, which keeps their kids rear-facing until at least 3 years old, but commonly to 5 or 6, child car accident fatalities are unheard of, while in the US, where people forward-face their kids at 1 year old in most cases, car accidents are a leading cause of death for children under the age of 14. How about looking at the crash tests, and medical documents showing the progression of spinal development, and using common sense, even if you have little understanding of the laws of physics, to see that crash forces interact far more intensely on each vertebrae when the body is held only by straps, rather than supported by a hard shell? That's common sense.
The thing that gets me more than anything else are the ones who say they just "couldn't" rear-face past a year old because their kid was just too tall. OK, my son is 2 years old. He is EXTREMELY tall for his age. There isn't a 1-year-old on the planet who's as tall as Orren, and Orren rides rear-facing. (Granted, Orren has a very nice carseat.) There isn't a 1-year-old in existence who CAN'T rear-face. There is hardly a 2-year-old in existence who CAN'T. There are a lot of parents who WON'T.
I'm honestly past the point of telling people that they should keep their kids rear-facing. If they're going to, they're going to. If they're not, they're not. What I do ask is to own the choice, whatever it is. If you are choosing to forward-face your child when you could rear-face, own that you are making a less safe choice. Your kid is only 1/5 as safe as mine in the car. Your kid runs the risk of internal decapitation in a car accident. Your kid actually runs a significantly higher risk of leg and arm injuries in a crash than mine does (because those injuries, believe it or not, are very common among forward-facing passengers, and unheard of in rear-facing passengers). This is a CHOICE. You are CHOOSING to forward-face. You COULD rear-face, but you are CHOOSING not to. I don't think I'd have nearly the problem with people as I do if they'd just say, "We're choosing not to do that. We don't want to. We've seen the evidence and it's a risk we're willing to take." I could respect that. I wouldn't understand it, but I could respect it to some degree because at least they owned it. To try to argue with the laws of physics, then say they CAN'T do something they obviously can do, is where the aggravation comes from, not the decision in and of itself.
Anyhow, keep them rear-facing to at least 2 if you will. There's no reason why you can't, so just do your best with it. We have. I can tell you it's really not hard.
I do find that it is very interesting how much it has changed over the past year. A year ago, we were the ONLY family we knew at this post that kept our toddler rear-facing. When I said anything about it, people told me I was crazy. Today, it's a different story. I'm not the only one talking about this stuff, and other people say, "Yeah, my toddler is rear-facing, too!" or "We don't plan on turning him around until he's 2!" and stuff like that. The word is getting out.
Even so, there are a lot of people who are just painfully ignorant, and they are the loudest. It's really kind of sad. Some lady was saying, "Use common sense! Would you make an entire car ride sitting indian style?!" How about using common sense, and seeing that in Sweden, which keeps their kids rear-facing until at least 3 years old, but commonly to 5 or 6, child car accident fatalities are unheard of, while in the US, where people forward-face their kids at 1 year old in most cases, car accidents are a leading cause of death for children under the age of 14. How about looking at the crash tests, and medical documents showing the progression of spinal development, and using common sense, even if you have little understanding of the laws of physics, to see that crash forces interact far more intensely on each vertebrae when the body is held only by straps, rather than supported by a hard shell? That's common sense.
The thing that gets me more than anything else are the ones who say they just "couldn't" rear-face past a year old because their kid was just too tall. OK, my son is 2 years old. He is EXTREMELY tall for his age. There isn't a 1-year-old on the planet who's as tall as Orren, and Orren rides rear-facing. (Granted, Orren has a very nice carseat.) There isn't a 1-year-old in existence who CAN'T rear-face. There is hardly a 2-year-old in existence who CAN'T. There are a lot of parents who WON'T.
I'm honestly past the point of telling people that they should keep their kids rear-facing. If they're going to, they're going to. If they're not, they're not. What I do ask is to own the choice, whatever it is. If you are choosing to forward-face your child when you could rear-face, own that you are making a less safe choice. Your kid is only 1/5 as safe as mine in the car. Your kid runs the risk of internal decapitation in a car accident. Your kid actually runs a significantly higher risk of leg and arm injuries in a crash than mine does (because those injuries, believe it or not, are very common among forward-facing passengers, and unheard of in rear-facing passengers). This is a CHOICE. You are CHOOSING to forward-face. You COULD rear-face, but you are CHOOSING not to. I don't think I'd have nearly the problem with people as I do if they'd just say, "We're choosing not to do that. We don't want to. We've seen the evidence and it's a risk we're willing to take." I could respect that. I wouldn't understand it, but I could respect it to some degree because at least they owned it. To try to argue with the laws of physics, then say they CAN'T do something they obviously can do, is where the aggravation comes from, not the decision in and of itself.
Anyhow, keep them rear-facing to at least 2 if you will. There's no reason why you can't, so just do your best with it. We have. I can tell you it's really not hard.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
This move, so far:
Things I have learned so far from this move:
1) Stanley Steamer will charge $800 to clean the grout in our entire house, so we're pretty much going to have to do it ourselves, by hand. The lesson is, think twice before renting a big house with pretty much all tile floors.
2) It is a big accomplishment to get all the laundry done and non-essential clothes and linens packed. Also, holy crap we have a lot of clothes and linens. I left out about three sets of clothes per person (plus all Erin's school uniforms), one towel per person, and one set of linens per bed. That's that. Everything else, as of half an hour ago, is boxed up, taped, and labeled, ready for our move.
3) Yes, it is possible to pack a whole house by yourself when you're 30 weeks pregnant and fighting off a bad cold. I have proven that. I'm not quite sure WHY I've packed the entire house by myself, as I'm certainly not the only capable individual living here, but that's the way it's ended up. Someone had to do it. The alternative was that it wouldn't get done, and that wasn't acceptable.
4) Our builder is AWESOME. We're getting the house a day sooner than we had expected.
5) Our friends are AWESOME. We'll be moving with two trucks, a large trailer, and plenty of extra hands to load stuff, mind kids, and all that. I honestly think we'll get it all in one trip.
6) I haven't even begun to consider outside yet. That just occurred to me, and that's probably not good. I know there will be a lot of picking up to do, and I'm not sure what else. I will have to get to that tomorrow. I don't want any surprises.
7) I am procrastinating on making a Goodwill run, even though I have like 10 tons of stuff that needs to go. Between packing everything up, and trying to get over this awful cold, I just haven't had the energy for errands.
8) My tape always disappears.
9) I still have not gotten the Sharpie off Erin's walls. Yes, in case you missed it, Erin wrote on her walls (and the majority of the books we own) in Sharpie. Yes, I was completely livid when I found this. Yes, I'm going to have to paint over it. I haven't yet, though. I just haven't had the energy for errands amid everything else. I will hopefully get that done along with the rest of the walls cleaned of the worst dirt and marks within the next three days.
10) I find that I am most looking forward to the move being over. After it's done, then I can share in Thak's enthusiasm for painting walls in our new house and things like that. At this point, I really just want to be done packing, cleared of this house, getting as much security deposit back as possible, and putting renting behind us for good. Once we have gotten our stuff into our new house, then I'm sure I will be very excited about painting rooms, and making the place our own. Right now, I find that I am most bogged down in the practicality of it.
11) It is hard when everybody is telling you to relax and not do much of anything, when you are the only person who seems willing to get anything done.
12) This is harder than any move we have ever done. This is the biggest house, the pickiest landlord, and the most kids we have ever had to do a move with.
13) When I am not pregnant anymore, I'm going to Carlos and Mickey's and drinking the biggest margarita they make because after this move, I will need it. Yes, even months later.
1) Stanley Steamer will charge $800 to clean the grout in our entire house, so we're pretty much going to have to do it ourselves, by hand. The lesson is, think twice before renting a big house with pretty much all tile floors.
2) It is a big accomplishment to get all the laundry done and non-essential clothes and linens packed. Also, holy crap we have a lot of clothes and linens. I left out about three sets of clothes per person (plus all Erin's school uniforms), one towel per person, and one set of linens per bed. That's that. Everything else, as of half an hour ago, is boxed up, taped, and labeled, ready for our move.
3) Yes, it is possible to pack a whole house by yourself when you're 30 weeks pregnant and fighting off a bad cold. I have proven that. I'm not quite sure WHY I've packed the entire house by myself, as I'm certainly not the only capable individual living here, but that's the way it's ended up. Someone had to do it. The alternative was that it wouldn't get done, and that wasn't acceptable.
4) Our builder is AWESOME. We're getting the house a day sooner than we had expected.
5) Our friends are AWESOME. We'll be moving with two trucks, a large trailer, and plenty of extra hands to load stuff, mind kids, and all that. I honestly think we'll get it all in one trip.
6) I haven't even begun to consider outside yet. That just occurred to me, and that's probably not good. I know there will be a lot of picking up to do, and I'm not sure what else. I will have to get to that tomorrow. I don't want any surprises.
7) I am procrastinating on making a Goodwill run, even though I have like 10 tons of stuff that needs to go. Between packing everything up, and trying to get over this awful cold, I just haven't had the energy for errands.
8) My tape always disappears.
9) I still have not gotten the Sharpie off Erin's walls. Yes, in case you missed it, Erin wrote on her walls (and the majority of the books we own) in Sharpie. Yes, I was completely livid when I found this. Yes, I'm going to have to paint over it. I haven't yet, though. I just haven't had the energy for errands amid everything else. I will hopefully get that done along with the rest of the walls cleaned of the worst dirt and marks within the next three days.
10) I find that I am most looking forward to the move being over. After it's done, then I can share in Thak's enthusiasm for painting walls in our new house and things like that. At this point, I really just want to be done packing, cleared of this house, getting as much security deposit back as possible, and putting renting behind us for good. Once we have gotten our stuff into our new house, then I'm sure I will be very excited about painting rooms, and making the place our own. Right now, I find that I am most bogged down in the practicality of it.
11) It is hard when everybody is telling you to relax and not do much of anything, when you are the only person who seems willing to get anything done.
12) This is harder than any move we have ever done. This is the biggest house, the pickiest landlord, and the most kids we have ever had to do a move with.
13) When I am not pregnant anymore, I'm going to Carlos and Mickey's and drinking the biggest margarita they make because after this move, I will need it. Yes, even months later.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Freedom!
Thak got out of the Army today. OK, so not really since his Active Duty contract is actually up in another month and a half, and knowing that there are still two years left of Reserve time before he'll REALLY be out kind of puts a damper on the fun of this, but he did sign out on terminal leave, and this is a rather large step in moving on to where we want to be.
I'm sick like death and Orren's just getting over whatever this thing is that I've got, so while we'd love to go and celebrate, we probably aren't up to anything more elaborate than take-out. I'm continuing to pack and get ready for our move to our new house in a week and a half. We picked out our appliances yesterday (they're all included! That means the fridge we bought when we moved in here can either go to the garage and be Thak's beer fridge, or go on Craigslist and make us a little money). It made it pretty real! We have a decision made on rocks for the yard, too, pending finding out how much they cost. We've also decided to do the rock moving ourselves to save money. That's going to be hard, but at least it's only March. Temperatures aren't in the triple digits yet, so if there's one time of year to move rocks, this is it.
Today, I'm just packing more stuff, doing laundry, just leaving each person out a few sets of clothes to wear. Pretty much our entire house is in boxes now. We have ten days until we move, which means we have 15 days until we have to clear this place. I found that the tile grout comes nice and clean with the carpet cleaner's scrubby hand tool, and Bissel's pet stain and odor formula, so I'm probably going to go ahead and just do it that way. Yes, I'm going to scrub about 1600 square feet of tile on my hands and knees.... 30 weeks pregnant.... Is this crazy? Yes. I want my damned security deposit back, so we have to give the people what they want. That makes it not crazy. $1600 is a LOT of freaking money, and I really would like to see at least $1000 of it back. On our last place, we got back $700 out of $1000, so I think it's realistic to expect $1000 back out of $1600 if we do a really good job on this place. The fact that we have 5 days to do it, and another house to live in while we do it, gives us an edge.
So yeah, we've moving on. Thak was going to try to start work at BMW today, but with the ownership changeover, it isn't going to happen. He has to wait for his internship to start, which is another couple weeks. In a way, that's good. He'll be able to help me with this getting the house ready to give back, and with the move itself.
Honestly, I can't wait to get to the new house. It has real air conditioning. I'm freaking hot, and we're NOT about to turn on the world's leakiest swamp cooler and let this house bless us with one more $300 water bill before we go. Ten more days and we get our new house.
No more renting, no more Army.
I'm sick like death and Orren's just getting over whatever this thing is that I've got, so while we'd love to go and celebrate, we probably aren't up to anything more elaborate than take-out. I'm continuing to pack and get ready for our move to our new house in a week and a half. We picked out our appliances yesterday (they're all included! That means the fridge we bought when we moved in here can either go to the garage and be Thak's beer fridge, or go on Craigslist and make us a little money). It made it pretty real! We have a decision made on rocks for the yard, too, pending finding out how much they cost. We've also decided to do the rock moving ourselves to save money. That's going to be hard, but at least it's only March. Temperatures aren't in the triple digits yet, so if there's one time of year to move rocks, this is it.
Today, I'm just packing more stuff, doing laundry, just leaving each person out a few sets of clothes to wear. Pretty much our entire house is in boxes now. We have ten days until we move, which means we have 15 days until we have to clear this place. I found that the tile grout comes nice and clean with the carpet cleaner's scrubby hand tool, and Bissel's pet stain and odor formula, so I'm probably going to go ahead and just do it that way. Yes, I'm going to scrub about 1600 square feet of tile on my hands and knees.... 30 weeks pregnant.... Is this crazy? Yes. I want my damned security deposit back, so we have to give the people what they want. That makes it not crazy. $1600 is a LOT of freaking money, and I really would like to see at least $1000 of it back. On our last place, we got back $700 out of $1000, so I think it's realistic to expect $1000 back out of $1600 if we do a really good job on this place. The fact that we have 5 days to do it, and another house to live in while we do it, gives us an edge.
So yeah, we've moving on. Thak was going to try to start work at BMW today, but with the ownership changeover, it isn't going to happen. He has to wait for his internship to start, which is another couple weeks. In a way, that's good. He'll be able to help me with this getting the house ready to give back, and with the move itself.
Honestly, I can't wait to get to the new house. It has real air conditioning. I'm freaking hot, and we're NOT about to turn on the world's leakiest swamp cooler and let this house bless us with one more $300 water bill before we go. Ten more days and we get our new house.
No more renting, no more Army.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Booster Seats, revisited.
I am whatever falls squarely between horrified and sad. I saw a friend's pictures from their recent cross country move. Of course, everyone takes pics of the kids in the car. I don't know why this has become a staple of American society, but toddlers in carseats are a popular thing to take pictures of. Maybe it's because my toddler is still rear-facing, that I don't get the appeal of this, but for whatever reason, people love to show off their carseat skillz (or lack of in a lot of cases) in photo form.
Anyhow, here's the pics from the trip, and there's the kid who's slightly older than Orren, but roughly his size, in a booster seat. I knew they'd moved him to one. I'd warned them that it wasn't safe for a kid that age and size, but that was all I could do. They went ahead with it. I thought they would have at least gotten him a high-back one. No, in the pictures, there was this kid, in a backless booster, on a cross country trip. Holy cow. I didn't say anything. What's done is done, but wow. I cannot imagine. Picture Orren in a backless booster. Erin is not even big enough for that in our car (their car has the same seatbelt height as ours). The seatbelts are so high that without the top belt positioning guide of her high-back booster, the belt would cut across her neck, and pose major danger to her in a crash. Now picture a kid Orren's size in that same belt. Scary, right?
So we're going to go over it one more time. Who should use a booster? How do you use a booster? When can you move from a high-back to backless booster? What happens if you booster too early? Boostering is so misunderstood. We're going to talk about it now.
What do booster seats do?
Booster seats are not like carseats. They don't provide an extra level of protection for children over what an adult seatbelt provides for an adult. (Some do provide some degree of side impact protection, but most do not do this to any significant degree.) The main function of a booster is to position the adult seatbelt in such a way to fit a child who is too big for a 5-point harness, but not big enough yet to wear the adult seatbelt on its own. In short, a booster seat allows a child to wear an adult seatbelt.
How do I know if my child is ready for an adult seatbelt?
This link discusses the 5-step test for seatbelt readiness. Most kids won't pass the 5-step test until they are close to 10 years old. Until this point, they need a booster seat of some variety to make the seatbelt fit them properly. A seatbelt is not safe unless it fits right, and car accidents are the #1 killer of American children 14 and under, so this is pretty important.
How do I know what kind of booster is right for my child?
Like I said before, a booster's function is to position the seatbelt correctly. This means that the shoulder portion will pass over the center of the shoulder (not slide off the arm, or cut into the neck), and the lap portion will pass over the tops of the thighs, not ride up the abdomen. A booster that positions the seatbelt this way for your child is the right one. Whether that's high-back or backless depends mostly on the size of your child in relation to the height of your seatbelts. If you're unsure whether to get high-back or backless, try out the boosters in your vehicle, with your child (some retailers such as Babies R Us will allow you to do this), to see what makes the belt fit correctly.
But what age and weight should my child move to a booster?
This is the hardest part because there is NO finite guideline for this. If you ask a child passenger safety technician for their best practice recommendation, they'll tell you that maturity is the most important factor in booster readiness, and that most kids are mature enough sometime between 5 and 6 years old. If you ask a carseat manufacturer, they'll tell you 3 years old and 30 pounds, because that's what they rate the seats for. It's kind of freaking horrible that they do that, to be honest, because there is not a 3-year-old on the planet who's actually mature enough to sit still for an entire car ride, which is a very important indicator for booster readiness. I don't know why carseat manufacturers rate their seats for such low age/weight limits. It's virtually criminal. Kids who meet these guidelines die in those seats regularly, when they would have been saved by a 5-point harness.
So break it down for me simple. How do I know if my kid is ready for a booster?
Ask yourself these questions:
Can he/she sit still without a 5-point harness for an entire car ride? A child who's still a wiggly toddler is not ready for a booster. Most kids will reach this milestone sometime in Kindergarten.
Is he/she at least 40 pounds? Children below 40 pounds have an increased risk of submarining, that is, sliding under the belt and strangling on it in the event of a crash.
Does the belt fit properly (see above) when using the booster seat?
Has the 5-point harness carseat been outgrown? (Why bother boostering when you have a seat that fits fine?)
The most important thing to remember is that boosters are for big kids. If I see one more backless booster advertised on Craigslist as a "toddler carseat" I am going to scream. That is NOT a toddler carseat. My 7-year-old cannot even use one of those safely in one of our vehicles (she can in the other due to lower seatbelt height). Boosters are for school age children, and when used properly, they save lives. The key, as with anything, though, is to use them properly. Early boostering kills children. It isn't even uncommon. This is very serious business. Learn about carseats before deciding which one is right for your child. Never let money be a hindrance to safety. There are high weight harness carseats you can buy for $70 that will fit most kids through preschool age. Educate yourself, and never scrimp on safety, and remember, a step up in carseats is a step down in safety, not a milestone to be celebrated.
Anyhow, here's the pics from the trip, and there's the kid who's slightly older than Orren, but roughly his size, in a booster seat. I knew they'd moved him to one. I'd warned them that it wasn't safe for a kid that age and size, but that was all I could do. They went ahead with it. I thought they would have at least gotten him a high-back one. No, in the pictures, there was this kid, in a backless booster, on a cross country trip. Holy cow. I didn't say anything. What's done is done, but wow. I cannot imagine. Picture Orren in a backless booster. Erin is not even big enough for that in our car (their car has the same seatbelt height as ours). The seatbelts are so high that without the top belt positioning guide of her high-back booster, the belt would cut across her neck, and pose major danger to her in a crash. Now picture a kid Orren's size in that same belt. Scary, right?
So we're going to go over it one more time. Who should use a booster? How do you use a booster? When can you move from a high-back to backless booster? What happens if you booster too early? Boostering is so misunderstood. We're going to talk about it now.
What do booster seats do?
Booster seats are not like carseats. They don't provide an extra level of protection for children over what an adult seatbelt provides for an adult. (Some do provide some degree of side impact protection, but most do not do this to any significant degree.) The main function of a booster is to position the adult seatbelt in such a way to fit a child who is too big for a 5-point harness, but not big enough yet to wear the adult seatbelt on its own. In short, a booster seat allows a child to wear an adult seatbelt.
How do I know if my child is ready for an adult seatbelt?
This link discusses the 5-step test for seatbelt readiness. Most kids won't pass the 5-step test until they are close to 10 years old. Until this point, they need a booster seat of some variety to make the seatbelt fit them properly. A seatbelt is not safe unless it fits right, and car accidents are the #1 killer of American children 14 and under, so this is pretty important.
How do I know what kind of booster is right for my child?
Like I said before, a booster's function is to position the seatbelt correctly. This means that the shoulder portion will pass over the center of the shoulder (not slide off the arm, or cut into the neck), and the lap portion will pass over the tops of the thighs, not ride up the abdomen. A booster that positions the seatbelt this way for your child is the right one. Whether that's high-back or backless depends mostly on the size of your child in relation to the height of your seatbelts. If you're unsure whether to get high-back or backless, try out the boosters in your vehicle, with your child (some retailers such as Babies R Us will allow you to do this), to see what makes the belt fit correctly.
But what age and weight should my child move to a booster?
This is the hardest part because there is NO finite guideline for this. If you ask a child passenger safety technician for their best practice recommendation, they'll tell you that maturity is the most important factor in booster readiness, and that most kids are mature enough sometime between 5 and 6 years old. If you ask a carseat manufacturer, they'll tell you 3 years old and 30 pounds, because that's what they rate the seats for. It's kind of freaking horrible that they do that, to be honest, because there is not a 3-year-old on the planet who's actually mature enough to sit still for an entire car ride, which is a very important indicator for booster readiness. I don't know why carseat manufacturers rate their seats for such low age/weight limits. It's virtually criminal. Kids who meet these guidelines die in those seats regularly, when they would have been saved by a 5-point harness.
So break it down for me simple. How do I know if my kid is ready for a booster?
Ask yourself these questions:
Can he/she sit still without a 5-point harness for an entire car ride? A child who's still a wiggly toddler is not ready for a booster. Most kids will reach this milestone sometime in Kindergarten.
Is he/she at least 40 pounds? Children below 40 pounds have an increased risk of submarining, that is, sliding under the belt and strangling on it in the event of a crash.
Does the belt fit properly (see above) when using the booster seat?
Has the 5-point harness carseat been outgrown? (Why bother boostering when you have a seat that fits fine?)
The most important thing to remember is that boosters are for big kids. If I see one more backless booster advertised on Craigslist as a "toddler carseat" I am going to scream. That is NOT a toddler carseat. My 7-year-old cannot even use one of those safely in one of our vehicles (she can in the other due to lower seatbelt height). Boosters are for school age children, and when used properly, they save lives. The key, as with anything, though, is to use them properly. Early boostering kills children. It isn't even uncommon. This is very serious business. Learn about carseats before deciding which one is right for your child. Never let money be a hindrance to safety. There are high weight harness carseats you can buy for $70 that will fit most kids through preschool age. Educate yourself, and never scrimp on safety, and remember, a step up in carseats is a step down in safety, not a milestone to be celebrated.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Stop. With. The. Advice.
Am I the only person who doesn't assume that every time someone opens their mouth, they're looking for advice? I think sometimes people just say stuff. I figure most people have their course of action figured out for stuff, and they'll do what they want to do. I also don't claim to be an expert on what everyone else should do. If someone says, "Hey, what should I do with X situation?" then I'll tell them what I think, but if they say, "Oh my god, Anna, you're not going to believe what happened!" and then tell me something outrageous they just encountered, I really have never seen that as an invitation for advice unless it's followed by "What the hell do I do with this?!" or something similar. I suppose it's rather Aspie of me (taking things very literally and all), but I've always figured that if someone doesn't ask for advice, they're not looking for it. Therefore, when I say something, and don't explicitly ask for advice, I'm rather offended by people taking it upon themselves to give it. Like, do they think I'm stupid and can't figure it out for myself?
Erin's room is my project for today, and I'll tell you, it pisses me off every time I set foot in there. I clean it and she trashes it. I don't clean it, and she trashes it, then opens her window which is right on the street, so everyone can see her trashed room. I wash clothes for her, she puts them on the floor, or throws them right back in the hamper if she doesn't feel like putting them away. And before Captain Obvious shows up with some unsolicited advice, me and Thak have tried everything short of military boarding school to get through to her. She just won't stop screwing up.
So anyhow, in the course of packing Erin's room, I found that she had written on the walls in permanent marker, and poured a bottle of glue in the carpet. I was in complete shock over this, and happened to mention it to friends. I didn't ask what to do with it. In fact, by that point, I'd already gotten 90% of the glue out with the carpet cleaner, and am pretty sure whatever carpet cleaning service we hire will get out the other 10% without incident, and had pretty much resolved to paint the walls (even though the landlord's clearing out list says explicitly NOT to paint walls). I was not looking for people to give me every sort of stupid Captain Obvious advice when I happened to mention this disgusting mess I'd been dealing with all morning.
Seriously, when did it become something other than rude to give unsolicited advice? I get that people are trying to help, but how stupid do I strike you as being? Do you really think I haven't already tried every cleaning product on the market to get the Sharpie off the walls? Do you really think it never occurred to me to paint over it? Do I strike you as being mentally retarded? Sometimes people are just stating the facts.
Erin's room is my project for today, and I'll tell you, it pisses me off every time I set foot in there. I clean it and she trashes it. I don't clean it, and she trashes it, then opens her window which is right on the street, so everyone can see her trashed room. I wash clothes for her, she puts them on the floor, or throws them right back in the hamper if she doesn't feel like putting them away. And before Captain Obvious shows up with some unsolicited advice, me and Thak have tried everything short of military boarding school to get through to her. She just won't stop screwing up.
So anyhow, in the course of packing Erin's room, I found that she had written on the walls in permanent marker, and poured a bottle of glue in the carpet. I was in complete shock over this, and happened to mention it to friends. I didn't ask what to do with it. In fact, by that point, I'd already gotten 90% of the glue out with the carpet cleaner, and am pretty sure whatever carpet cleaning service we hire will get out the other 10% without incident, and had pretty much resolved to paint the walls (even though the landlord's clearing out list says explicitly NOT to paint walls). I was not looking for people to give me every sort of stupid Captain Obvious advice when I happened to mention this disgusting mess I'd been dealing with all morning.
Seriously, when did it become something other than rude to give unsolicited advice? I get that people are trying to help, but how stupid do I strike you as being? Do you really think I haven't already tried every cleaning product on the market to get the Sharpie off the walls? Do you really think it never occurred to me to paint over it? Do I strike you as being mentally retarded? Sometimes people are just stating the facts.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Moving progress....
There were three giant bugaboos of this move:
1) Glass contractor
2) Erin's room
3) Playroom
As of today, I've got two out of the three done. All that remains of these three is Erin's room. I'll probably pack it up tomorrow just to get it out of the way. I'd say, over all, I've got close to half of our stuff packed up and ready to go. I'm going to need more boxes, but there's the post recycling center for that. They did not disappoint last time, and I'm sure they won't when we go again!
After I get everything packed up, I have to somehow magically make a 30-something-year-old house look brand new. My new big three are these:
1) Oven and broiler
2) Walls
3) Grout
Not bad.
We're also thinking about what we need to do for the new house, and it's a lot of work, but quite good. I'm trying to choose out rocks for the front yard this week, and have it narrowed down to two varieties. I'll post pics when I go to the rock yard and look at them. I'm taking a friend with me who used to sell rocks, so she'll be able to tell me if it's a good deal or not.
In the back yard, we're going to seed most of it in grass (our backyard is tiny. It's doable to keep it watered.) and make raised beds for vegetables in the rest of it. Raised beds are really the only way to grow anything here, so we'll go ahead and get that done right from the start so that we can go ahead and seed in the rest.
There is a lot to do and the next couple weeks are going to go by fast. I didn't count on much help from Thak, and I was right. He has a friend's car in for a very big repair job (read: lots of work, no money, house full of people) and who knows how long this thing is going to take. It needs to be done, though. You can't really NOT help friends when you're in a position to. But, knowing that I would be doing most of this on my own from the start worked in my favor because I've gotten a major jump on it, and will get everything done.
That reminds me, I've got to find a carpet cleaning service and also try out some DIY grout cleaning solutions tomorrow to figure out if I'm going to do that job myself or contract it.
1) Glass contractor
2) Erin's room
3) Playroom
As of today, I've got two out of the three done. All that remains of these three is Erin's room. I'll probably pack it up tomorrow just to get it out of the way. I'd say, over all, I've got close to half of our stuff packed up and ready to go. I'm going to need more boxes, but there's the post recycling center for that. They did not disappoint last time, and I'm sure they won't when we go again!
After I get everything packed up, I have to somehow magically make a 30-something-year-old house look brand new. My new big three are these:
1) Oven and broiler
2) Walls
3) Grout
Not bad.
We're also thinking about what we need to do for the new house, and it's a lot of work, but quite good. I'm trying to choose out rocks for the front yard this week, and have it narrowed down to two varieties. I'll post pics when I go to the rock yard and look at them. I'm taking a friend with me who used to sell rocks, so she'll be able to tell me if it's a good deal or not.
In the back yard, we're going to seed most of it in grass (our backyard is tiny. It's doable to keep it watered.) and make raised beds for vegetables in the rest of it. Raised beds are really the only way to grow anything here, so we'll go ahead and get that done right from the start so that we can go ahead and seed in the rest.
There is a lot to do and the next couple weeks are going to go by fast. I didn't count on much help from Thak, and I was right. He has a friend's car in for a very big repair job (read: lots of work, no money, house full of people) and who knows how long this thing is going to take. It needs to be done, though. You can't really NOT help friends when you're in a position to. But, knowing that I would be doing most of this on my own from the start worked in my favor because I've gotten a major jump on it, and will get everything done.
That reminds me, I've got to find a carpet cleaning service and also try out some DIY grout cleaning solutions tomorrow to figure out if I'm going to do that job myself or contract it.
Overmedication. It is scary.
Orren got very sick yesterday. He had a fever of up to 103 degrees, and really wouldn't eat, plus he was super whiny and miserable. He's hydrated, though, so in general, he's ok. His friend Vivi had the same thing earlier this week, so if he got it from her like we're pretty sure he did, it's probably going to last a few days, and then go away. This is actually the first time either kid has had a temperature that high. Erin's never been sick beyond just a plain old cold. Orren hadn't either, until this point.
It is a bit scary to see the thermometer get to those numbers, and just keep rising, but this is where it is most important to be a smart and informed parent rather than an alarmist parent. Thak has slowly made his way to my side of this thing, after an upbringing which included many misconceptions such as the idea that over the counter medications cure illnesses, and fevers should be treated. In reality, the symptoms treated by the majority of over the counter medications, including fevers, are important responses of the immune system to infections, which are usually viral, so there's really no medication for the problem itself. So in essence, by treating these symptoms, you're shooting the immune system in the foot. Do it enough times during childhood and the end result is an adult who's always sick, like Thak. (Hey, I'm not telling you anything he wouldn't tell you if you asked him.)
So what do you do when your kid gets sick? It's scary, right? I know me and Thak got almost no sleep last night because we were waking up to check on Orren a lot and continue taking his temperature. My tactic is just to observe and make sure he stays hydrated. We got him some Gatorade, and he's drinking very well, using the potty frequently. He's definitely hydrated. Hydration is important to the immune system as well as all other systems of the body. As long as he's staying hydrated, then really all there is to do is just sit back and let his immune system do its thing, even if its thing is a fever of 103 degrees at 1 in the morning.
I liked this page a lot. A friend of mine showed it to me as something to forward to alarmist parents who say that I'm not doing the right thing since I don't call the doctor for things like this. I found it particularly interesting, not to mention accurate, how it described the majority of parents' fear of fever. Another friend, whose husband is an ER doctor, can vouch for this (and does regularly!). She said that he comes home from his shift almost every time saying, "I swear if one more person brings me a kid with a cold and a temp of 102, thinking it's a life threatening emergency, I'm going to lose my mind." It ties into this "fever phobia" described in the article I liked. I think it is every bit as common as the article says it is, at least in our local military ER where my friend's husband works.
Don't get me wrong. If we actually need help, I will go to the doctor, even the ER. Erin's had stitches 3 times, courtesy of the good ER doctors at Ft. Stewart. When Orren was 5 months old, we hauled him into the pediatrician's office because he couldn't keep anything down and was showing signs of dehydration. Our pediatrician gave him some anti-nausea medication, and advice to bring him back in the morning for an IV if the medication didn't work. For a fever, though, no, we would not do that. We have a very no-BS pediatrician. He sees medication as a last resort, is all for the hands-off approach whenever possible, and the thing I like the most, he doesn't mince words on what's REALLY going on. I know that if I called our pediatrician about this thing, he would tell me to keep Orren hydrated and wait it out.
The fact is, what's going on with Orren right now is that there is some virus that is making him sick. What can be done for viruses? Nothing. Antibiotics kill bacteria. They don't touch viruses. Over the counter medications only treat symptoms. They don't kill any of the causes. The only thing that kills this type of virus is the immune system itself. The symptoms that people are so scared of are really about the best thing that can happen, since they mean the body is curing itself. This is where it becomes most important to have common sense and be rational about what's really going on. It sucks to see your kid not feeling well. I, for one, cannot wait until Orren is feeling better. I also trust that his immune system is strong, and will take care of this thing.
It is a bit scary to see the thermometer get to those numbers, and just keep rising, but this is where it is most important to be a smart and informed parent rather than an alarmist parent. Thak has slowly made his way to my side of this thing, after an upbringing which included many misconceptions such as the idea that over the counter medications cure illnesses, and fevers should be treated. In reality, the symptoms treated by the majority of over the counter medications, including fevers, are important responses of the immune system to infections, which are usually viral, so there's really no medication for the problem itself. So in essence, by treating these symptoms, you're shooting the immune system in the foot. Do it enough times during childhood and the end result is an adult who's always sick, like Thak. (Hey, I'm not telling you anything he wouldn't tell you if you asked him.)
So what do you do when your kid gets sick? It's scary, right? I know me and Thak got almost no sleep last night because we were waking up to check on Orren a lot and continue taking his temperature. My tactic is just to observe and make sure he stays hydrated. We got him some Gatorade, and he's drinking very well, using the potty frequently. He's definitely hydrated. Hydration is important to the immune system as well as all other systems of the body. As long as he's staying hydrated, then really all there is to do is just sit back and let his immune system do its thing, even if its thing is a fever of 103 degrees at 1 in the morning.
I liked this page a lot. A friend of mine showed it to me as something to forward to alarmist parents who say that I'm not doing the right thing since I don't call the doctor for things like this. I found it particularly interesting, not to mention accurate, how it described the majority of parents' fear of fever. Another friend, whose husband is an ER doctor, can vouch for this (and does regularly!). She said that he comes home from his shift almost every time saying, "I swear if one more person brings me a kid with a cold and a temp of 102, thinking it's a life threatening emergency, I'm going to lose my mind." It ties into this "fever phobia" described in the article I liked. I think it is every bit as common as the article says it is, at least in our local military ER where my friend's husband works.
Don't get me wrong. If we actually need help, I will go to the doctor, even the ER. Erin's had stitches 3 times, courtesy of the good ER doctors at Ft. Stewart. When Orren was 5 months old, we hauled him into the pediatrician's office because he couldn't keep anything down and was showing signs of dehydration. Our pediatrician gave him some anti-nausea medication, and advice to bring him back in the morning for an IV if the medication didn't work. For a fever, though, no, we would not do that. We have a very no-BS pediatrician. He sees medication as a last resort, is all for the hands-off approach whenever possible, and the thing I like the most, he doesn't mince words on what's REALLY going on. I know that if I called our pediatrician about this thing, he would tell me to keep Orren hydrated and wait it out.
The fact is, what's going on with Orren right now is that there is some virus that is making him sick. What can be done for viruses? Nothing. Antibiotics kill bacteria. They don't touch viruses. Over the counter medications only treat symptoms. They don't kill any of the causes. The only thing that kills this type of virus is the immune system itself. The symptoms that people are so scared of are really about the best thing that can happen, since they mean the body is curing itself. This is where it becomes most important to have common sense and be rational about what's really going on. It sucks to see your kid not feeling well. I, for one, cannot wait until Orren is feeling better. I also trust that his immune system is strong, and will take care of this thing.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Newborn diapering. What?
Will you look at that? Is that not the most adorable thing you have ever seen in your entire life? That's Orren, just a couple hours old, wearing his adorable fluffy newborn diaper. It's a Kissaluvs size 0 fitted, and as you can see, due to being born a perfectly chunky 9 pounds 9 ounces, he's got it on the last snap setting. If not for the cord dip in these things, they'd have been a complete bust for us. My newborn diapering conundrum was that everything with a cord dip went only to 10 pounds, and Orren was born pretty close to that, actually was over 10 pounds by the time his cord stump fell off, and right about 15 pounds by the time we had his umbilical granuloma removed at his 2 month appointment, so I had the opposite problem a lot of people have. The diapers that were big enough for my boy didn't have a cord dip, and the ones that had a cord dip would have fit his big toe, but that's about it.A friend who's expecting her first, and currently amassing her cloth diaper stash for him is asking me all these questions about newborn diapering, and I realized today that I actually don't know anything about newborn diapering as it pertains to most people!
I have no idea how to get a hospital to let you use cloth diapers. (Can they really tell you what your baby can wear? If I were somewhere and the people there told me what I could and couldn't do with my baby, I would leave.)
I don't know what to do with cloth diapering and circumcision gunk. For the millionth time, people, yes, I have a boy. No, I did not have him circumcised. Look at that picture at the top of the page and tell me if you could ever bear to needlessly cut a piece off that perfect, beautiful, innocent little boy. In the words of celebrity intactivist Colin Farrell, "I completely fucking disagree with that!" So yeah, you're on your own for this one.
I don't know what fits skinny newborn legs. Look at Orren's thunder thighs! He may not have remarkably chunky thighs now, but he did when he was born.
I don't know what adjusts down the smallest, for obvious reasons.
So basically, my thing is that I BETTER have another chunky baby, because if I don't, I'm going to be just as lost as any rookie when it comes to diapering this one!
Are you poor?
Here is a chart everybody needs to read before they talk about military people being poor. It's the 2011 federal poverty level chart, by family size, monthly income, and annual income.
I am so tired of people saying that military personnel live below the poverty level. It's a rampant misconception among military people themselves, and of course dependents. I even remember having to school Thak on this when we first got together, and prove to him that no, it doesn't matter what everyone at work said, he does not, in fact, live below the poverty level. (At that point in time, he was a single Sergeant. One person on Sergeant's pay.... geez, if that's poor I want to know what comfortable is!)
I just had some woman tell me that for a family of four 185% of the federal poverty level (in other words, the cutoff to qualify for WIC) was $6000 a month, or $72k a year, and that since most people in the military don't make that, the pay is inadequate. I told her I don't know a hell of a lot of engineers who make $72k a year within the first few years of their career, so maybe while the military is lobbying over inadequate pay, they could join forces with the American Society of Civil Engineers because obviously engineers are the next casualty of this poverty epidemic. Forget the teachers, the mathematicians, the tradesmen, and the people who run non-profits. By this standard, they're surely already out on the street!
Sarcasm aside, people, it's not that bad. Look at the chart, and see that unless you have a truly excessive number of dependents, you're really nowhere near the federal poverty level. You probably don't qualify for food stamps either. Hell, if you keep your family size to what the Army actually calculates your housing based on for your rank, you probably won't even qualify for WIC (we don't). The military is not facing a poverty epidemic. Sure, there are some who struggle. There always will be. That's their problem, not the federal government's.
Military pay is adequate. It's not extravagant, and it's not sub-par. It's just adequate. I'm going to slap the next person who thinks they live below the poverty level and is drawing a military paycheck. Those two things are absolutely mutually exclusive.
I am so tired of people saying that military personnel live below the poverty level. It's a rampant misconception among military people themselves, and of course dependents. I even remember having to school Thak on this when we first got together, and prove to him that no, it doesn't matter what everyone at work said, he does not, in fact, live below the poverty level. (At that point in time, he was a single Sergeant. One person on Sergeant's pay.... geez, if that's poor I want to know what comfortable is!)
I just had some woman tell me that for a family of four 185% of the federal poverty level (in other words, the cutoff to qualify for WIC) was $6000 a month, or $72k a year, and that since most people in the military don't make that, the pay is inadequate. I told her I don't know a hell of a lot of engineers who make $72k a year within the first few years of their career, so maybe while the military is lobbying over inadequate pay, they could join forces with the American Society of Civil Engineers because obviously engineers are the next casualty of this poverty epidemic. Forget the teachers, the mathematicians, the tradesmen, and the people who run non-profits. By this standard, they're surely already out on the street!
Sarcasm aside, people, it's not that bad. Look at the chart, and see that unless you have a truly excessive number of dependents, you're really nowhere near the federal poverty level. You probably don't qualify for food stamps either. Hell, if you keep your family size to what the Army actually calculates your housing based on for your rank, you probably won't even qualify for WIC (we don't). The military is not facing a poverty epidemic. Sure, there are some who struggle. There always will be. That's their problem, not the federal government's.
Military pay is adequate. It's not extravagant, and it's not sub-par. It's just adequate. I'm going to slap the next person who thinks they live below the poverty level and is drawing a military paycheck. Those two things are absolutely mutually exclusive.
Friday, March 11, 2011
We know more now!
Our moving date is March 26. We met with our builder today and he said the house will be ready for us to move into then. YES! That gives us five whole days to get this house inspection ready for the world's most draconian seeming landlord. Outstanding! Five days is like 100 years in Army moving time. We can do this no problem!
So basically, today I did get Thak to go with me to the recycling center on post and pick up a bunch of boxes. We got a whole lot of them, probably not totally as many as we will need for the whole house, but a great start. We can always go back to the recycling center another day and pick up more when we run out of these. So far, I've gotten all the books, DVD's, decorative items, pictures, and non-essential clothes packed up. I've left us each a minimal selection of stuff to wear, and packed the rest. Not only does this cut down on packing later on, it cuts down on laundry. That's a good byproduct!
This house looks SO empty without anything on the walls, and boxes everywhere, but it's moving in the right direction. My aim is to kind of do a top-down approach to it. As soon as I've got as much stuff as possible packed, and put into places that aren't blocking anything in pressing need of cleaning, I'll do fan blades, and rafters, and high up AC vents, and light fixtures. Then I'll get all the crayon marks off the walls. Go-Jo hand cleaner is about the only thing that does a sufficient job at that, so thank goodness we have a ton of it!
We still have to get the blinds to replace the ones in the kids' rooms, and Thak says there's a set of them out here in the living room that need to be replaced, too, but they all look fine to me. On Monday, I can call around and find a carpet cleaning service that isn't outlandishly expensive, and see if they clean grout and microfiber couches as well. (The grout is necessary for move out. The microfiber is because I want my couches to look nice again.) and make an appointment for hopefully the 27th.
Hopefully by the end of the week, I'll have enough of the hard stuff in the house done that I can get the yard good. I'm going to have to get Thak to take the clothesline down, which is going to be interesting. I'm also going to have to get him to do the garage, which again, will be interesting. He also needs to take out our dishwasher, and reinstall the broken one the landlords issued us. Again, this will be interesting. Thank goodness he goes on terminal leave next week, and doesn't start his internship for another two weeks or so after that. No, we didn't plan for there to be this lapse, but that's the way it worked out, and with this move coming, I think it's probably a good thing.
If it becomes too frazzling, at least Erin is on Spring Break this week, and with Thak's last day of Active Duty being Tuesday, there is definitely the chance that we could take Thursday and Friday and run away to New Mexico just to catch a break!! With the week we're about to have, it may be necessary.
So basically, today I did get Thak to go with me to the recycling center on post and pick up a bunch of boxes. We got a whole lot of them, probably not totally as many as we will need for the whole house, but a great start. We can always go back to the recycling center another day and pick up more when we run out of these. So far, I've gotten all the books, DVD's, decorative items, pictures, and non-essential clothes packed up. I've left us each a minimal selection of stuff to wear, and packed the rest. Not only does this cut down on packing later on, it cuts down on laundry. That's a good byproduct!
This house looks SO empty without anything on the walls, and boxes everywhere, but it's moving in the right direction. My aim is to kind of do a top-down approach to it. As soon as I've got as much stuff as possible packed, and put into places that aren't blocking anything in pressing need of cleaning, I'll do fan blades, and rafters, and high up AC vents, and light fixtures. Then I'll get all the crayon marks off the walls. Go-Jo hand cleaner is about the only thing that does a sufficient job at that, so thank goodness we have a ton of it!
We still have to get the blinds to replace the ones in the kids' rooms, and Thak says there's a set of them out here in the living room that need to be replaced, too, but they all look fine to me. On Monday, I can call around and find a carpet cleaning service that isn't outlandishly expensive, and see if they clean grout and microfiber couches as well. (The grout is necessary for move out. The microfiber is because I want my couches to look nice again.) and make an appointment for hopefully the 27th.
Hopefully by the end of the week, I'll have enough of the hard stuff in the house done that I can get the yard good. I'm going to have to get Thak to take the clothesline down, which is going to be interesting. I'm also going to have to get him to do the garage, which again, will be interesting. He also needs to take out our dishwasher, and reinstall the broken one the landlords issued us. Again, this will be interesting. Thank goodness he goes on terminal leave next week, and doesn't start his internship for another two weeks or so after that. No, we didn't plan for there to be this lapse, but that's the way it worked out, and with this move coming, I think it's probably a good thing.
If it becomes too frazzling, at least Erin is on Spring Break this week, and with Thak's last day of Active Duty being Tuesday, there is definitely the chance that we could take Thursday and Friday and run away to New Mexico just to catch a break!! With the week we're about to have, it may be necessary.
Small favor.
Seriously, people, I get it. You mean well, you want to help, and all that, but please stop with the suggestions. As you may imagine, in a decade of affiliation with the Army, I've moved a time or two. I know how I like to do things, and my way works really well. Honestly, there's nothing I don't have figured out beyond how I'm going to get my husband off the couch to actually go with me to get some boxes like I've been asking him to do for weeks (or if the people at the recycling center on post will have pity on the very pregnant woman trying to load boxes all by herself into her tiny car).
Yes, I have hired licensed contractors to fix the things that have broken since we've been here in this house. I am covering my ass because my landlord seriously strikes me as the type who will try to screw us out of money at the slightest provocation, so having receipts from licensed contractors for the repairs we've needed is a way of actually saving me money and trouble. Yes, I probably could have run down to Home Depot and hired some Mexicans to do this work for cheaper, but I don't want to mess around with that. I just need everything on the up and up, so I went with reputable local contractors. Plus, I'm not stupid. The prices they charged me were fair, and MUCH less than the landlord would have charged if we'd just left the stuff not done.
I know you can rent carpet cleaners at Albertson's. I own a carpet cleaner not terribly different from the one you can rent, in fact. I want it done professionally again for the documentation of it. Paying $50 to have our very small carpeted areas cleaned is a lot less than what we will be charged for not doing it, and having the receipts and documentation that it was professionally done just further covers my ass.
No, I won't just say "screw it" and let them keep the deposit. You are aware we paid about $1600 in deposits when we moved in here, right? No? Yeah, we paid like $1600 in deposits for this house. I want that money back. I NEED that money back. Spending a couple hundred to get things done so that I get back at least a thousand of my deposit, is honestly, smart thinking, when you consider that the landlord would have probably just kept the whole thing if we did none of this.
Bottom line, I really do know what I'm doing. I'm not stupid. I've done this before. I want my money back, and I'm doing what I have to do to get it. Please stop with the suggestions. I have a plan, and I'm using it.
Yes, I have hired licensed contractors to fix the things that have broken since we've been here in this house. I am covering my ass because my landlord seriously strikes me as the type who will try to screw us out of money at the slightest provocation, so having receipts from licensed contractors for the repairs we've needed is a way of actually saving me money and trouble. Yes, I probably could have run down to Home Depot and hired some Mexicans to do this work for cheaper, but I don't want to mess around with that. I just need everything on the up and up, so I went with reputable local contractors. Plus, I'm not stupid. The prices they charged me were fair, and MUCH less than the landlord would have charged if we'd just left the stuff not done.
I know you can rent carpet cleaners at Albertson's. I own a carpet cleaner not terribly different from the one you can rent, in fact. I want it done professionally again for the documentation of it. Paying $50 to have our very small carpeted areas cleaned is a lot less than what we will be charged for not doing it, and having the receipts and documentation that it was professionally done just further covers my ass.
No, I won't just say "screw it" and let them keep the deposit. You are aware we paid about $1600 in deposits when we moved in here, right? No? Yeah, we paid like $1600 in deposits for this house. I want that money back. I NEED that money back. Spending a couple hundred to get things done so that I get back at least a thousand of my deposit, is honestly, smart thinking, when you consider that the landlord would have probably just kept the whole thing if we did none of this.
Bottom line, I really do know what I'm doing. I'm not stupid. I've done this before. I want my money back, and I'm doing what I have to do to get it. Please stop with the suggestions. I have a plan, and I'm using it.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Please, parent for me. I'd love that.
I get the feeling that we're under scrutiny as parents again. This happens a lot these days, and it kind of sucks. Erin has been coughing for the past few days, and after a while, we got her some allergy medicine just to see if that would help any. Orren has had some allergies lately, and Thak is allergic to pretty much everything on the face of the earth, but more so now than usual, so I figured it was just allergies. She's coughing, but really has no other symptoms. She feels fine. She's not sick.
Yet multiple times this week, the school has told us that she's coughing a lot. Yeah? No shit. Have you seen this place? It's windy season, and sandstorms are a daily occurrence. Who ISN'T coughing a lot? I told them that we got her some allergy medicine, but really, that's about as far as I'm going to go on this. I'm NOT going to turn into that parent who brings my kid to the doctor for every sniffle. It's not going to happen. If she does have something other than allergies (which I doubt) it's probably viral anyhow, and there's nothing that can be done. Our pediatrician does not prescribe antibiotics without very good reason (good reason being a bacterial infection which would actually be knocked back by antibiotics). He does not like to give out drugs any more than we like to pump our kids full of them, so there's no way she's getting on some prescription medication for it. I get the feeling they want a note from him stating that there's nothing more that can be done.
Here's the real kicker. They basically don't want kids leaving school for appointments, and if you absolutely have to, then they want you to schedule it for late in the day, so basically, when the pediatrician's office is so backed up that we'll end up spending 3 hours in the waiting room just to be told that, in fact, we're right and our kid is totally fine, and to just keep doing what we've been doing and ride it out.
I swear, people calling the cops on each other for letting their kids have the tiniest bit of freedom (I'm not the only one that's happened to. I found out it's pretty common.), the schools accusingly saying, "Your kid is coughing a lot." as if we hadn't noticed that, and decided how to deal with that..... What's next? We've never done anything but our best for our kids. We're not perfect parents, far from it, but we try hard and we generally do a pretty good job. They have clothes that fit, they're served mostly pretty healthy food, we bathe them frequently. We read to them, we take them places, we even put them in extracurricular activities when they're old enough. We're not bad parents. I wonder what it will take for people to just take our word for that fact.
Yeah, our kid is coughing. Shockingly enough, we noticed that. Equally shockingly, we're not alarmed. It's a cough, people. It's not like she has a bone sticking through her arm or something. She's allergic to the dust in this desert we live in. We put her on zyrtec. That's enough.
Yet multiple times this week, the school has told us that she's coughing a lot. Yeah? No shit. Have you seen this place? It's windy season, and sandstorms are a daily occurrence. Who ISN'T coughing a lot? I told them that we got her some allergy medicine, but really, that's about as far as I'm going to go on this. I'm NOT going to turn into that parent who brings my kid to the doctor for every sniffle. It's not going to happen. If she does have something other than allergies (which I doubt) it's probably viral anyhow, and there's nothing that can be done. Our pediatrician does not prescribe antibiotics without very good reason (good reason being a bacterial infection which would actually be knocked back by antibiotics). He does not like to give out drugs any more than we like to pump our kids full of them, so there's no way she's getting on some prescription medication for it. I get the feeling they want a note from him stating that there's nothing more that can be done.
Here's the real kicker. They basically don't want kids leaving school for appointments, and if you absolutely have to, then they want you to schedule it for late in the day, so basically, when the pediatrician's office is so backed up that we'll end up spending 3 hours in the waiting room just to be told that, in fact, we're right and our kid is totally fine, and to just keep doing what we've been doing and ride it out.
I swear, people calling the cops on each other for letting their kids have the tiniest bit of freedom (I'm not the only one that's happened to. I found out it's pretty common.), the schools accusingly saying, "Your kid is coughing a lot." as if we hadn't noticed that, and decided how to deal with that..... What's next? We've never done anything but our best for our kids. We're not perfect parents, far from it, but we try hard and we generally do a pretty good job. They have clothes that fit, they're served mostly pretty healthy food, we bathe them frequently. We read to them, we take them places, we even put them in extracurricular activities when they're old enough. We're not bad parents. I wonder what it will take for people to just take our word for that fact.
Yeah, our kid is coughing. Shockingly enough, we noticed that. Equally shockingly, we're not alarmed. It's a cough, people. It's not like she has a bone sticking through her arm or something. She's allergic to the dust in this desert we live in. We put her on zyrtec. That's enough.
Moving, moving....
Tonight, Thak meets with our builder to discuss the details of when we are moving into our new house. He's going to try to get our move in date for as soon as possible. Like, if he'll give us the keys tomorrow, we'd take them. Of course it's not going to be tomorrow, but hopefully it will be soon. One of the guys in Thak's unit who lives across the street from our house said there have been crews there a lot, so it should be ready for us really soon. I really want them to put a rush on it, but I'm sure Thak will discuss that with them tonight. (I'm not going because it's my friend K's last night in El Paso, and a bunch of people are going out to dinner. He can handle this one on his own.)
The reason I'm so adamant about getting moved ASAP is because we got the clear out list from our landlord yesterday, and wow. It has "I will screw you" written all over it. There is a lot we have to do, and I have a feeling that no matter how much we do, they're still going to screw us. We paid a TON of deposits on this place, and I will honestly be shocked if we see any of it back. We really NEED it back, so we're going to try hard, but the whole tone of that letter and clear out list pretty much struck me as "We are going to screw you." No, seriously, I got more respect from my Drill Sergeant on the first day of Basic than that letter had in it. We're going to do our best, though. I told Thak to call glass contractors to fix the broken panes in the back door. His response was to fall asleep on the couch. I have a feeling this is process is mine. Fun times.
So the really big jobs are to find a glass contractor who can come and fix those two broken panes of glass, to scrub all the tile grout (Yes, it says that on this assholish check list. My house is like 1600 square feet, just about nothing but tile. That's gonna be insane.), get a carpet cleaner to come do the bedrooms, do the oven, and somehow make that scrubby yard presentable. There's about a ton of other smaller stuff. Of course, the garage has to get into pristine condition, too, which is going to be extra fun. I am NOT doing the garage. Thak will do that. No doubt in my mind.
So yeah, that's where we are. We're hoping to be out of this place ASAP, but no matter what, we WILL be out of here, and into our new house, within the next 2 weeks.
The reason I'm so adamant about getting moved ASAP is because we got the clear out list from our landlord yesterday, and wow. It has "I will screw you" written all over it. There is a lot we have to do, and I have a feeling that no matter how much we do, they're still going to screw us. We paid a TON of deposits on this place, and I will honestly be shocked if we see any of it back. We really NEED it back, so we're going to try hard, but the whole tone of that letter and clear out list pretty much struck me as "We are going to screw you." No, seriously, I got more respect from my Drill Sergeant on the first day of Basic than that letter had in it. We're going to do our best, though. I told Thak to call glass contractors to fix the broken panes in the back door. His response was to fall asleep on the couch. I have a feeling this is process is mine. Fun times.
So the really big jobs are to find a glass contractor who can come and fix those two broken panes of glass, to scrub all the tile grout (Yes, it says that on this assholish check list. My house is like 1600 square feet, just about nothing but tile. That's gonna be insane.), get a carpet cleaner to come do the bedrooms, do the oven, and somehow make that scrubby yard presentable. There's about a ton of other smaller stuff. Of course, the garage has to get into pristine condition, too, which is going to be extra fun. I am NOT doing the garage. Thak will do that. No doubt in my mind.
So yeah, that's where we are. We're hoping to be out of this place ASAP, but no matter what, we WILL be out of here, and into our new house, within the next 2 weeks.
Monday, March 7, 2011
We won!!
I entered this random drawing thing for the stroller that we really want now that Orren won't ride in a regular stroller but we still need one for the new baby, and I found out this morning that we won!!
It's a Joovy Ultralight Caboose, and it is on its way to us for free!! I can't believe it!! It has a regular seat for the baby, is compatible with our carseat if necessary, and has the back standing board and bench seat for Orren to hitch a ride on. It's not the giant bus of a double stroller that so many are. It's the size of a lot of single strollers, really, but with seating for two, and we knew we wanted it. It's just that with Thak getting out of the Army, us paying for our homebirth, and buying a house, we just didn't see us buying it right away. I cannot believe we won it!
It's a Joovy Ultralight Caboose, and it is on its way to us for free!! I can't believe it!! It has a regular seat for the baby, is compatible with our carseat if necessary, and has the back standing board and bench seat for Orren to hitch a ride on. It's not the giant bus of a double stroller that so many are. It's the size of a lot of single strollers, really, but with seating for two, and we knew we wanted it. It's just that with Thak getting out of the Army, us paying for our homebirth, and buying a house, we just didn't see us buying it right away. I cannot believe we won it!
Sunday, March 6, 2011
The word "natural"
Natural is such a trendy word these days. Everything is natural. Chicken is natural. Beef is natural. Clothing is natural. Pasta is natural. Hell, pretty much everybody's birth is natural. The crazy thing is that since it's so trendy, it's taken to being able to mean just about anything on the face of the earth.
Yesterday, someone asked me what local hospital would be best for a natural birth. I replied that "hospital" and "natural birth" should really never be used in the same sentence, and that if she wanted a natural birth, she should go to one of the birth centers, or birth at home. She looked confused and said that she knew lots of people who had natural births in hospitals. I asked what natural birth was to her. No drugs. That's it. OK, now I understand. I told her she could accomplish that at any hospital on the planet, but that University Medical Center, the public hospital, actually has the lowest c-section rate in town, and is statistically slightly less scary than the private hospitals.
Last week, someone else mentioned to me that she was going to try for a natural birth, even though her doctor was concerned because she has a low placenta. I said it's totally possible to have a great birth under those circumstances. I explained that I, too, have a low placenta this pregnancy, that my midwife thought it would be fine, and we're proceeding with our homebirth. We are taking precautionary measures to build up blood volume in advance so that if we do face increased bleeding due to the low placenta (there is a chance of that) it won't take as much of a toll. I told her the names of some herbs to take to build up blood volume. Then we talked a bit more about her birth plan (why do people make birth plans, seriously?) and she was talking about the different types of pain medications she wants, in what order. I said I was confused, that she had said she was hoping for a natural birth, so why plan on pain medication before even giving herself the chance? Her definition of natural birth: Vaginal birth.
Some OB even came up with some cockamamie thing called a "natural c-section". The idea is that they bring the baby out slowly, so it's more like a regular birth. But yes, now even babies arriving via an incision in the abdomen have their arrival classified by some as natural.
So what is MY definition of natural birth? Orren's birth was close, but still not a truly natural birth because I had to take a car ride during labor, and that felt VERY unnatural and wrong. Otherwise, Orren's birth is a good example of MY definition of natural birth. No internal exams, no strangers, no IV's, no monitors, eating at will, laboring on my own turf, moving around as I wanted to. My unassisted labor with Orren fits my definition of what a natural labor would be. His birth itself was close. It was hard to concentrate again after the car ride to the birth center, but once there, and once I did manage to get my head back into the game, his birth was pretty natural. Obviously no pain medication, no monitors, no coached pushing, positioning of my own choosing, moving around at will, etc. This baby's birth will quite probably be my first and only truly natural birth, since the only glaringly unnatural thing about Orren's birth was leaving home while in labor. I'll tell you, that felt SO wrong. If Thak were willing to catch the baby, I never would have gotten in that car. That's a HUGE reason we're homebirthing this time. For me, natural birth includes not having labor interfered upon by a car ride.
There are people who have far more stipulations on it than I have. Some don't accept any assistance at all. By some people's definition, it is unnatural to even have a midwife present. By their definition, none of my births would ever be considered natural because I really do like having a midwife there just in case I need help or guidance. (Granted, I have hired a very hands-off style of midwife, because I don't like to be "managed", but I still want her there to help me if I need it.)
The fact is, none of these definitions is THE supreme and all correct definition of natural birth. It's just not. None of them. These definitions vary so much from person to person, that it is really rather impossible to say a true definition of "natural birth" exists.
I am not competing when I say that "natural hospital birth" is an oxymoron. I'm merely coming from my own definition of what natural birth is, and the fact that my idea of what a natural birth is, is actually incompatible with the hospital environment. I would never be able to have what I would consider a natural birth in a hospital. For a lot of people, the two things can coexist nicely.
I propose the term "natural birth" either be officially qualified in some way, or stricken from our vernacular completely. You want a "drug-free birth", a "vaginal birth", a "hands-off homebirth", a "birth center birth", or whatever it is. Natural birth, though.... what the hell is that anymore?
Yesterday, someone asked me what local hospital would be best for a natural birth. I replied that "hospital" and "natural birth" should really never be used in the same sentence, and that if she wanted a natural birth, she should go to one of the birth centers, or birth at home. She looked confused and said that she knew lots of people who had natural births in hospitals. I asked what natural birth was to her. No drugs. That's it. OK, now I understand. I told her she could accomplish that at any hospital on the planet, but that University Medical Center, the public hospital, actually has the lowest c-section rate in town, and is statistically slightly less scary than the private hospitals.
Last week, someone else mentioned to me that she was going to try for a natural birth, even though her doctor was concerned because she has a low placenta. I said it's totally possible to have a great birth under those circumstances. I explained that I, too, have a low placenta this pregnancy, that my midwife thought it would be fine, and we're proceeding with our homebirth. We are taking precautionary measures to build up blood volume in advance so that if we do face increased bleeding due to the low placenta (there is a chance of that) it won't take as much of a toll. I told her the names of some herbs to take to build up blood volume. Then we talked a bit more about her birth plan (why do people make birth plans, seriously?) and she was talking about the different types of pain medications she wants, in what order. I said I was confused, that she had said she was hoping for a natural birth, so why plan on pain medication before even giving herself the chance? Her definition of natural birth: Vaginal birth.
Some OB even came up with some cockamamie thing called a "natural c-section". The idea is that they bring the baby out slowly, so it's more like a regular birth. But yes, now even babies arriving via an incision in the abdomen have their arrival classified by some as natural.
So what is MY definition of natural birth? Orren's birth was close, but still not a truly natural birth because I had to take a car ride during labor, and that felt VERY unnatural and wrong. Otherwise, Orren's birth is a good example of MY definition of natural birth. No internal exams, no strangers, no IV's, no monitors, eating at will, laboring on my own turf, moving around as I wanted to. My unassisted labor with Orren fits my definition of what a natural labor would be. His birth itself was close. It was hard to concentrate again after the car ride to the birth center, but once there, and once I did manage to get my head back into the game, his birth was pretty natural. Obviously no pain medication, no monitors, no coached pushing, positioning of my own choosing, moving around at will, etc. This baby's birth will quite probably be my first and only truly natural birth, since the only glaringly unnatural thing about Orren's birth was leaving home while in labor. I'll tell you, that felt SO wrong. If Thak were willing to catch the baby, I never would have gotten in that car. That's a HUGE reason we're homebirthing this time. For me, natural birth includes not having labor interfered upon by a car ride.
There are people who have far more stipulations on it than I have. Some don't accept any assistance at all. By some people's definition, it is unnatural to even have a midwife present. By their definition, none of my births would ever be considered natural because I really do like having a midwife there just in case I need help or guidance. (Granted, I have hired a very hands-off style of midwife, because I don't like to be "managed", but I still want her there to help me if I need it.)
The fact is, none of these definitions is THE supreme and all correct definition of natural birth. It's just not. None of them. These definitions vary so much from person to person, that it is really rather impossible to say a true definition of "natural birth" exists.
I am not competing when I say that "natural hospital birth" is an oxymoron. I'm merely coming from my own definition of what natural birth is, and the fact that my idea of what a natural birth is, is actually incompatible with the hospital environment. I would never be able to have what I would consider a natural birth in a hospital. For a lot of people, the two things can coexist nicely.
I propose the term "natural birth" either be officially qualified in some way, or stricken from our vernacular completely. You want a "drug-free birth", a "vaginal birth", a "hands-off homebirth", a "birth center birth", or whatever it is. Natural birth, though.... what the hell is that anymore?
Saturday, March 5, 2011
More potty progress.
My boy is very smart. While he still prefers to run around naked at home (at least he's accident-free that way!) he's gotten to the point that he's accident-free while we're out, too. Today he made it through a whole trip to Costco with no accidents. Yesterday, he made it through two trips to the auto parts store, school drop off and pick-up, and sissy's dance class, all accident-free. Being accident-free while we're out is significant because he wears clothes then, and it had gotten to the point before, that if we put anything on him, he wouldn't use the potty.
He has also gotten to the point that at home, he'll take himself to the potty. He doesn't always ask one of us to take him. He's willing to go on his own about half the time. He came up with that idea himself.
Well, we just found his reward! When he's been accident-free, even while out, for a little longer (like however long it takes this stuff to arrive from its seller on Etsy) he is getting the coolest thing EVER. Yes, I am talking about John Deere boxers! Yes, he will be getting real big boy pants, not trainers, but real undies. It's a very big deal.
I am proud of my little boy. He's really gotten this down fast!
He has also gotten to the point that at home, he'll take himself to the potty. He doesn't always ask one of us to take him. He's willing to go on his own about half the time. He came up with that idea himself.
Well, we just found his reward! When he's been accident-free, even while out, for a little longer (like however long it takes this stuff to arrive from its seller on Etsy) he is getting the coolest thing EVER. Yes, I am talking about John Deere boxers! Yes, he will be getting real big boy pants, not trainers, but real undies. It's a very big deal.
I am proud of my little boy. He's really gotten this down fast!
It always comes down to money, doesn't it?
People who truly want a good birth will pay for it, no matter what it costs. They'll interview midwives, visit birth centers if that's what they're after, figure out which arrangement feels right, and go for it. After that, they'll figure out the financial details. Birth is one time when money really should never be a top consideration.
It somewhat irks me when people ask me about birth center or homebirth and their first question is, "How do I get Tricare to cover that?" or "What's that costing you?" You know, this stuff didn't even come up in conversation when I interviewed midwives for our homebirth. Alyson told me during our 2nd appointment, that she knows how to get Tricare reimbursement for her clients. I had NO idea before that, that it was even feasible. We figured we'd pay out of pocket, and never see a dime of it back. That wasn't ever a drawback to us, though. We've found a way to pay, and Alyson (like all other midwives in the world) takes payments. We want this, so we found a way. People who want it find the right care arrangement for them first, and make financial arrangements as necessary.
My questions when asking about any given midwife or birth center are, in this order:
What's their policy on pregnancies that pass 42 weeks?
How many births do they oversee in a year?
What's their rate of hospital transfer, c-section, and induction?
Do they have affiliation with any local practitioners such as herbalists, chiropractors, or acupuncturists?
And finally, what's it cost?
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad people are looking toward doing things like birthing in non-hospital settings, but man, if the first thing you think of is the money involved, maybe you really aren't doing it for the right reasons. Money should be dead last priority when it comes to birth. Any midwife will even tell you that.
It somewhat irks me when people ask me about birth center or homebirth and their first question is, "How do I get Tricare to cover that?" or "What's that costing you?" You know, this stuff didn't even come up in conversation when I interviewed midwives for our homebirth. Alyson told me during our 2nd appointment, that she knows how to get Tricare reimbursement for her clients. I had NO idea before that, that it was even feasible. We figured we'd pay out of pocket, and never see a dime of it back. That wasn't ever a drawback to us, though. We've found a way to pay, and Alyson (like all other midwives in the world) takes payments. We want this, so we found a way. People who want it find the right care arrangement for them first, and make financial arrangements as necessary.
My questions when asking about any given midwife or birth center are, in this order:
What's their policy on pregnancies that pass 42 weeks?
How many births do they oversee in a year?
What's their rate of hospital transfer, c-section, and induction?
Do they have affiliation with any local practitioners such as herbalists, chiropractors, or acupuncturists?
And finally, what's it cost?
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad people are looking toward doing things like birthing in non-hospital settings, but man, if the first thing you think of is the money involved, maybe you really aren't doing it for the right reasons. Money should be dead last priority when it comes to birth. Any midwife will even tell you that.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Prenatal testing, and me.
I have never had a gestational diabetes test. I've had great prenatal care from very qualified and experienced midwives in non-hospital-based practices, and none have seen the need to recommend this test to me. They don't recommend it to many of their clients, really. Plus, there are better ways to test for gestational diabetes than drinking whatever that nasty stuff is that people ingest, and then sit in a doctor's office for x amount of hours trying not to barf. A good midwife knows which of her clients would benefit from this sort of testing, and recommend it to them. I have never been that person, so I have never taken a gestational diabetes test. If Alyson recommended one to me on Tuesday when she's over here for my 28 week appointment, I'd take it. She hasn't, though, and I don't think she will. We've actually discussed this before.
I think it's also really important and relevant to point out that I have never once told someone who wants to take this, or any other, test, NOT to take it. On the contrary, I've told people that if they would feel more comfortable having taken some test or another, then they SHOULD take it. Again, though, I am not that person. I have read the recommendations. I know that the majority of OB and hospital CNM practices don't even follow ACOG's recommendations on this testing. They test everyone who walks through the door. ACOG doesn't even recommend that. They have clear guidelines for who needs to be tested and who doesn't. Why does it never occur to people to question this across the board testing when even the professional organization governing OB/GYN's does not recommend that?
What's more, I really am tired of it always turning into people grabbing their torches and pitchforks, and coming at me with their mainstream group-think the minute I say I don't take x or y test, and never have. They accuse me of horrible things, putting my baby's life at risk, risking my own life, being selfish. I'm not being selfish and I'm not risking anyone's life. I have talked with Alyson, whom I trust very much, about this. She doesn't see a single reason at this point why I should be tested. She's also cared for women who have diabetes, and gotten them through healthy pregnancies and homebirths without a single pharmaceutical intervention, so even if something did go wrong, I know it's not the mainstream thing that I need. I am with a knowledgeable and experienced homebirth midwife, one with way better outcomes than any OB or hospital midwife I've ever heard of.
I really bristle at the logic that since the vast majority of practitioners recommend something, it must be good. Let's look for a minute at some things the vast majority of practitioners recommend, as pertaining to pregnancy and birth:
-The vast majority of practitioners recommend routine induction at 42 weeks, despite countless studies which show that there's NO reason for it. (There is a slight increase in risk at 43 weeks, but not at 42.)
-The vast majority of practitioners recommend not eating during labor, despite the well proven fact that this slows progress, and even can create complications for the baby and the mom.
-The vast majority of practitioners put women in the lithotomy position to push, despite the fact that this position narrows the pelvis significantly when compared with nearly any other position out there, thus necessitating instrument-assisted delivery, "purple" pushing, and sometimes even c-section. It also increases the rate and severity of tearing.
-The vast majority of practitioners recommend antibiotic treatment during labor for women who test positive for Group B Strep, despite the fact that we're the only country in the world that does that (and have the second worst birth outcomes in the industrialized world, might I add), and a 1997 study done by Kaiser in California, showed NO difference in outcomes for those treated with antibiotics compared to those who were not.
-The vast majority of practitioners perform c-sections on at least 30% (some more like 50-60%) of their patients, despite the fact that the World Health Organization states that a c-section rate above 15% does more harm than good, AND c-section delivery increases the risk of death by 400% for both mom and baby.
As you can see, I don't put a huge amount of stock in what the masses are doing. I don't understand why anyone would swallow the pill and accept these things for themselves, despite the fact that the standard procedure is a little crazy when you really think about it. Even so, I don't tell people not to go that route if that's what they want. When it comes to this gestational diabetes testing thing, I explicitly tell people, "If you want this test, then you should take it." I am respecting what they're doing in this. I don't receive the same in return, though, and that really sucks.
You know how my kids are healthier than most other people's kids that we know? Yeah, how neither of them has ever had anything more severe than a cold, how they're not on any medications, how neither has ever been hospitalized? Yeah, I didn't have any prenatal testing with either of them either. Obviously it's a recipe for certain disaster, right?
I think it's also really important and relevant to point out that I have never once told someone who wants to take this, or any other, test, NOT to take it. On the contrary, I've told people that if they would feel more comfortable having taken some test or another, then they SHOULD take it. Again, though, I am not that person. I have read the recommendations. I know that the majority of OB and hospital CNM practices don't even follow ACOG's recommendations on this testing. They test everyone who walks through the door. ACOG doesn't even recommend that. They have clear guidelines for who needs to be tested and who doesn't. Why does it never occur to people to question this across the board testing when even the professional organization governing OB/GYN's does not recommend that?
What's more, I really am tired of it always turning into people grabbing their torches and pitchforks, and coming at me with their mainstream group-think the minute I say I don't take x or y test, and never have. They accuse me of horrible things, putting my baby's life at risk, risking my own life, being selfish. I'm not being selfish and I'm not risking anyone's life. I have talked with Alyson, whom I trust very much, about this. She doesn't see a single reason at this point why I should be tested. She's also cared for women who have diabetes, and gotten them through healthy pregnancies and homebirths without a single pharmaceutical intervention, so even if something did go wrong, I know it's not the mainstream thing that I need. I am with a knowledgeable and experienced homebirth midwife, one with way better outcomes than any OB or hospital midwife I've ever heard of.
I really bristle at the logic that since the vast majority of practitioners recommend something, it must be good. Let's look for a minute at some things the vast majority of practitioners recommend, as pertaining to pregnancy and birth:
-The vast majority of practitioners recommend routine induction at 42 weeks, despite countless studies which show that there's NO reason for it. (There is a slight increase in risk at 43 weeks, but not at 42.)
-The vast majority of practitioners recommend not eating during labor, despite the well proven fact that this slows progress, and even can create complications for the baby and the mom.
-The vast majority of practitioners put women in the lithotomy position to push, despite the fact that this position narrows the pelvis significantly when compared with nearly any other position out there, thus necessitating instrument-assisted delivery, "purple" pushing, and sometimes even c-section. It also increases the rate and severity of tearing.
-The vast majority of practitioners recommend antibiotic treatment during labor for women who test positive for Group B Strep, despite the fact that we're the only country in the world that does that (and have the second worst birth outcomes in the industrialized world, might I add), and a 1997 study done by Kaiser in California, showed NO difference in outcomes for those treated with antibiotics compared to those who were not.
-The vast majority of practitioners perform c-sections on at least 30% (some more like 50-60%) of their patients, despite the fact that the World Health Organization states that a c-section rate above 15% does more harm than good, AND c-section delivery increases the risk of death by 400% for both mom and baby.
As you can see, I don't put a huge amount of stock in what the masses are doing. I don't understand why anyone would swallow the pill and accept these things for themselves, despite the fact that the standard procedure is a little crazy when you really think about it. Even so, I don't tell people not to go that route if that's what they want. When it comes to this gestational diabetes testing thing, I explicitly tell people, "If you want this test, then you should take it." I am respecting what they're doing in this. I don't receive the same in return, though, and that really sucks.
You know how my kids are healthier than most other people's kids that we know? Yeah, how neither of them has ever had anything more severe than a cold, how they're not on any medications, how neither has ever been hospitalized? Yeah, I didn't have any prenatal testing with either of them either. Obviously it's a recipe for certain disaster, right?
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Yes, we skipped it. No, we're not going to get in trouble.
There was a mandatory meeting for Thak's battalion tonight. Everyone was harping on it big time. Thak had school, of course, and I was definitely not dragging two kids to this thing. (The last time Uncle Sam had the authority to make anything mandatory for me was when I wore the uniform, and that's been a while.) So basically, we didn't go.
The meeting was about the upcoming deployment, and training schedule leading up to it. Considering Thak signs out on terminal leave two weeks from today, and turned in all his gear today, which means he couldn't even go to the field if he wanted to, this stuff really doesn't apply to us. Plus, nobody even called Thak personally to tell him to go (we knew about it beforehand, of course, but nobody called today and said "come to the meeting tonight") so we took that as a cue that the rest of the unit really doesn't care if the ones who are getting out before the deployment (and there are a few dozen of them) showed up to the thing.
So, well meaning (or pesky) wives of this battalion, please stop telling me that Thak is going to get in big trouble because we didn't go to a mandatory meeting. First of all, if he were going to get in trouble, he'd probably have to show up at the office at some point, and he hasn't had any cause to be there in the past month. Secondly, if they even tried to get him in trouble for this, it would never stand. He's getting out in TWO WEEKS. Why should he have to go to a meeting about a deployment that's happening sometime after the weather turns cold again? Anyone with common sense would know that he doesn't need the information that's put out there. And finally, I'll let you in on a little secret. They never know who shows up to these things and who doesn't.
So yes, the M's skipped a mandatory meeting. I'll just be glad to live in a world where there are no mandatory meetings at my husband's place of employment that everyone's going to pester me if I don't show up to. Two weeks.
The meeting was about the upcoming deployment, and training schedule leading up to it. Considering Thak signs out on terminal leave two weeks from today, and turned in all his gear today, which means he couldn't even go to the field if he wanted to, this stuff really doesn't apply to us. Plus, nobody even called Thak personally to tell him to go (we knew about it beforehand, of course, but nobody called today and said "come to the meeting tonight") so we took that as a cue that the rest of the unit really doesn't care if the ones who are getting out before the deployment (and there are a few dozen of them) showed up to the thing.
So, well meaning (or pesky) wives of this battalion, please stop telling me that Thak is going to get in big trouble because we didn't go to a mandatory meeting. First of all, if he were going to get in trouble, he'd probably have to show up at the office at some point, and he hasn't had any cause to be there in the past month. Secondly, if they even tried to get him in trouble for this, it would never stand. He's getting out in TWO WEEKS. Why should he have to go to a meeting about a deployment that's happening sometime after the weather turns cold again? Anyone with common sense would know that he doesn't need the information that's put out there. And finally, I'll let you in on a little secret. They never know who shows up to these things and who doesn't.
So yes, the M's skipped a mandatory meeting. I'll just be glad to live in a world where there are no mandatory meetings at my husband's place of employment that everyone's going to pester me if I don't show up to. Two weeks.
The potty, and you (well, if your name is Orren).
After days of being accident-free, Orren started having nothing but accidents. This continued for a couple days, and then yesterday, I got the brilliant idea to take away his training pants and have him run around naked instead. The minute I did that, he was 100% again. This is day 2 of naked, and we're still 100% on pottying.
I think we're going to just have to get him regular undies. (Some have proposed we get him COL Joe underoos! Our Garrison Commander has enough of a following these days that the running joke is that someone's going to make COL Joe merchandise before long.) My logic behind the regular undies idea is that I think he started using his training pants like diapers because they have a hidden layer of PUL (PUL is waterproof fabric, like what diaper covers are made of) so they catch small accidents semi-well. Regular undies have nothing like that, so he would get really soaked if he just went in them even though he knows better, and he probably wouldn't do that more than once or twice before getting the idea that he needs to go in the potty even if he's not naked.
So I guess today's quest is for COL Joe underoos in Orren's size! OK, so I think Spiderman will probably suffice. ;-)
I think we're going to just have to get him regular undies. (Some have proposed we get him COL Joe underoos! Our Garrison Commander has enough of a following these days that the running joke is that someone's going to make COL Joe merchandise before long.) My logic behind the regular undies idea is that I think he started using his training pants like diapers because they have a hidden layer of PUL (PUL is waterproof fabric, like what diaper covers are made of) so they catch small accidents semi-well. Regular undies have nothing like that, so he would get really soaked if he just went in them even though he knows better, and he probably wouldn't do that more than once or twice before getting the idea that he needs to go in the potty even if he's not naked.
So I guess today's quest is for COL Joe underoos in Orren's size! OK, so I think Spiderman will probably suffice. ;-)
Crying it out...
The controversial parenting issue that seems to have its grip on Ft. Bliss lately is letting babies cry it out (CIO). I have friends on both sides of this thing, but have managed to stay out of most of the big arguments about it. Some people are no longer friends with each other because of this thing, though. It's insane how it's gotten this week especially.
Let me state my official stance right now. CIO sucks when used on a baby (as opposed to a toddler). No words minced, no bones about it, this is possibly one of the worst things a parent could ever do when it comes to day-to-day stuff. There's a lot of research into what exactly being made to CIO does to a baby, and let's just say this isn't something that's going to help anybody raise a smart and well adjusted person.
I am absolutely sickened to hear someone say their 6-week-old is "manipulating" them, and needs to just cry it out, or that they "only" use CIO from 2 months on, or that since their 4-month-old doesn't sleep through the night without waking up for a feeding, they're going to start letting them CIO. Holy crap, seriously? Have these people ever read anything at all about babies, and how they grow and develop? These ages are way too young to be made to sleep through the night. Orren actually took at least one night feeding every night until he was about 10 or 11 months old. Now at 2, he usually sleeps through the night. The only time he wakes up is if he's scared, and that's pretty rare.
With that said, it's not entirely horrible to let an over tired toddler fuss a little when you're putting him/her down for a nap that he/she really needs, but doesn't at all want. This happens, and honestly, I've tried to find a way around just letting him fuss when it happens, but nothing else really works. I wouldn't let him fuss for more than 5 minutes, though. He always falls asleep before that.
The bottom line is that a toddler is vastly different from a baby. A 6-week-old or few months old baby cannot tell you why they're crying, and they only cry because they need something. A toddler, like Orren for example, can tell you exactly why he's crying. If you ask him what's wrong, he may say "scared", or "drink", or "potty". Then you can deal with what he needs. If he just screams "NO!!" when you ask him what's wrong, well, then you know it's just an overtired toddler who needs a nap. Toddlers are pretty easy to figure out if you actually listen to them. Babies, not so much, but the one thing that's true of babies is that they are definitely not manipulative. It logically follows that babies have no business crying it out. This is common sense.
I will also say to the pro-CIO crew, nobody is saying that your kids are going to turn out retarded. Nobody is accusing you of raising the next generation of criminals. All anyone is saying is that you are using a parenting practice that has been proven time and time again to be less than beneficial, and has no grounds in common sense. I will also say that your allegations that kids who did not cry it out will be too attached to their parents are false. Some say that it makes them impossible to send to school when they get older, that they'll never be independent. Have you ever met Erin? (They have all met Erin.) She never cried it out, and is probably the most sociable kid I know, other than her friend Lilly who never cried it out either. In fact, I've hardly met an attachment parented kid who wasn't extremely well adjusted. Orren is a little shy, but that's just his personality. When he gets to know someone, he really does come out of his shell. Thak was the same way when he was a kid, according to everybody. NOT using CIO has been shown to give kids more confidence because they know that when they need something, someone's going to do it for them. They know they aren't alone. Therefore they know they're valued inherently, and are more confident in general because they are better able to trust people.
Finally, I'll also offer this pretty olive branch. Most of the moms I know who are fans of CIO only have babies or toddlers. They haven't really made it over the parenting hump yet. I would say that once a child reaches pre-k age, life gets so much easier. They're out of the toddler phase, they're going to school, starting to do a lot on their own, and parenting is more about guiding a person who understands what the hell you're saying to them than it is about deciphering cries, toddler babble, and nonverbal cues, to figure out what someone who's either entirely nonverbal, or only a little bit verbal, needs from you. It is less frustrating on a day to day basis once you get to that preschool stage. When Erin was little, I remember how it seemed like the baby/toddler phase would last forever, and with Erin's delays, it did last longer than it does with most kids (Orren has shown me this, actually.) When I look back on it now, though, it really wasn't that long. Now she's going to turn 8 in a few months, goes to school, does ballet, and likes Justin Bieber. Seriously. That baby/toddler phase flew by. I see also with Orren how fast it's gone by. He's already 2 years old. He just potty trained. He's speaking in small sentences. He sleeps through the night. It seems like yesterday that he came into the world on his own terms, under those tall Georgia pines (I love that part because his name means pine tree). There is no need to rush these things. I know that when all you have is little kids, babies and toddlers especially, it seems like it will last forever, but when the first of them hits school age, you will realize that it doesn't, and that there is no rush to make them grow up faster than they are supposed to. Every child sleeps through the night eventually. Letting them come to this on their own terms is really not such a bad thing. I know it's tiring while in that moment, but when that moment passes, you will be shocked how fast it went by. Be patient. Don't make them cry it out. Just let them grow up in their own time. I promise they all do.
Let me state my official stance right now. CIO sucks when used on a baby (as opposed to a toddler). No words minced, no bones about it, this is possibly one of the worst things a parent could ever do when it comes to day-to-day stuff. There's a lot of research into what exactly being made to CIO does to a baby, and let's just say this isn't something that's going to help anybody raise a smart and well adjusted person.
I am absolutely sickened to hear someone say their 6-week-old is "manipulating" them, and needs to just cry it out, or that they "only" use CIO from 2 months on, or that since their 4-month-old doesn't sleep through the night without waking up for a feeding, they're going to start letting them CIO. Holy crap, seriously? Have these people ever read anything at all about babies, and how they grow and develop? These ages are way too young to be made to sleep through the night. Orren actually took at least one night feeding every night until he was about 10 or 11 months old. Now at 2, he usually sleeps through the night. The only time he wakes up is if he's scared, and that's pretty rare.
With that said, it's not entirely horrible to let an over tired toddler fuss a little when you're putting him/her down for a nap that he/she really needs, but doesn't at all want. This happens, and honestly, I've tried to find a way around just letting him fuss when it happens, but nothing else really works. I wouldn't let him fuss for more than 5 minutes, though. He always falls asleep before that.
The bottom line is that a toddler is vastly different from a baby. A 6-week-old or few months old baby cannot tell you why they're crying, and they only cry because they need something. A toddler, like Orren for example, can tell you exactly why he's crying. If you ask him what's wrong, he may say "scared", or "drink", or "potty". Then you can deal with what he needs. If he just screams "NO!!" when you ask him what's wrong, well, then you know it's just an overtired toddler who needs a nap. Toddlers are pretty easy to figure out if you actually listen to them. Babies, not so much, but the one thing that's true of babies is that they are definitely not manipulative. It logically follows that babies have no business crying it out. This is common sense.
I will also say to the pro-CIO crew, nobody is saying that your kids are going to turn out retarded. Nobody is accusing you of raising the next generation of criminals. All anyone is saying is that you are using a parenting practice that has been proven time and time again to be less than beneficial, and has no grounds in common sense. I will also say that your allegations that kids who did not cry it out will be too attached to their parents are false. Some say that it makes them impossible to send to school when they get older, that they'll never be independent. Have you ever met Erin? (They have all met Erin.) She never cried it out, and is probably the most sociable kid I know, other than her friend Lilly who never cried it out either. In fact, I've hardly met an attachment parented kid who wasn't extremely well adjusted. Orren is a little shy, but that's just his personality. When he gets to know someone, he really does come out of his shell. Thak was the same way when he was a kid, according to everybody. NOT using CIO has been shown to give kids more confidence because they know that when they need something, someone's going to do it for them. They know they aren't alone. Therefore they know they're valued inherently, and are more confident in general because they are better able to trust people.
Finally, I'll also offer this pretty olive branch. Most of the moms I know who are fans of CIO only have babies or toddlers. They haven't really made it over the parenting hump yet. I would say that once a child reaches pre-k age, life gets so much easier. They're out of the toddler phase, they're going to school, starting to do a lot on their own, and parenting is more about guiding a person who understands what the hell you're saying to them than it is about deciphering cries, toddler babble, and nonverbal cues, to figure out what someone who's either entirely nonverbal, or only a little bit verbal, needs from you. It is less frustrating on a day to day basis once you get to that preschool stage. When Erin was little, I remember how it seemed like the baby/toddler phase would last forever, and with Erin's delays, it did last longer than it does with most kids (Orren has shown me this, actually.) When I look back on it now, though, it really wasn't that long. Now she's going to turn 8 in a few months, goes to school, does ballet, and likes Justin Bieber. Seriously. That baby/toddler phase flew by. I see also with Orren how fast it's gone by. He's already 2 years old. He just potty trained. He's speaking in small sentences. He sleeps through the night. It seems like yesterday that he came into the world on his own terms, under those tall Georgia pines (I love that part because his name means pine tree). There is no need to rush these things. I know that when all you have is little kids, babies and toddlers especially, it seems like it will last forever, but when the first of them hits school age, you will realize that it doesn't, and that there is no rush to make them grow up faster than they are supposed to. Every child sleeps through the night eventually. Letting them come to this on their own terms is really not such a bad thing. I know it's tiring while in that moment, but when that moment passes, you will be shocked how fast it went by. Be patient. Don't make them cry it out. Just let them grow up in their own time. I promise they all do.
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