Car Seats (Pics of the kids included!)

OK, I have to say it. I have a HUGE pet peeve about car seats. What is it with so many parents wanting to buy the absolute cheapest crap ever, and then not even use it right? I'm sorry, but if I, as a single mom, just out of the Army, working for $7.50 an hour, could afford to spend $150 on a well rated car seat for Erin, six years ago, then I'm pretty sure most anyone can afford to get their kid something decent.

Once you get past the decent car seat hurdle, then you have to use it right. News flash, geniuses! That little clippy thing that holds the straps together goes at armpit level, not bellybutton level. I can't recall where I learned this when Erin was a baby (but I do recall knowing it), but I recall our midwife reminding us of it just hours after Orren was born, when we were getting ready to take him home from the birth center. It's common knowledge. I don't buy for a minute that there exists a parent in the entire US who hasn't been told this by someone. Same goes for loose straps. Will someone please tell me what the hell the point of a car seat is if the straps are worn so loosely that the kid would slide right out in a collision?

And this, too. If I see your toddler with their arms above the straps (As in, the straps are passing under their arms instead of over their shoulders), then I WILL call the cops on you for not having your kid properly harnessed, and you WILL get a ticket. I've done it before. Only an idiot would allow their kid to ride like that.



This topic comes up in light of the recent passage of a law in our great state of Texas, requiring all children ages 8 and under, who are shorter than 4'9" to be in an approved child safety seat. I'm unclear on whether this means just car seats with 5-point harnesses, or if belt positioning boosters are ok, but it doesn't bother me any. Erin, age 6, 38 pounds, 44 inches in height, is in a booster, but we're moving her back into a seat with a 5-point harness because I don't trust the way people drive around here, and she is not too big to be harnessed, so there's really no reason NOT to harness her. It's SO much safer.

The seat we want to get for her is the Radian, which is an awesomely rated car seat which is known to be good for compact cars. It's slightly cheaper than Orren's Britax Diplomat, too, so that's a plus. Also, when Erin's about ready to get out of it, Orren will be about ready to go into it, and he'll use it until it expires when he's seven years old. That's called getting your money's worth!!

But anyhow, the more I read on extended harnessing, extended rear facing, and the like, the more I see what a good idea it is. Car accidents are the #1 killer of children here in the US, and it's so preventable in so many cases, just by using a good car seat, USING IT PROPERLY, and not being too hasty in moving your kids up to the next level of seat. I don't understand WHY people here in Texas are in such a rush to get their kids out of car seats, and why they think it's actually a viable arugment that "they'll get made fun of" if they use a car seat until 8 years old. Um, if everyone up to that age is using a car seat, then why would any kid get singled out? People slay me.

And now some cute pics of the most awesome kids in the world, safely strapped into approved seats for their ages and sizes:

Orren, 8 months old, happily rear-facing in his Britax Diplomat:

Erin thinks car seats ROCK!! (She really does because she can see out the window!) Here she is in a belt positioning booster. She'd be better in a harness, and we'll be getting her re-harnessed within the next couple weeks when we get the money together to order her new car seat. For now, high-back booster:

And this pic is dark, but still cute. The view from the driver's side back seat door of my car. My happy, SAFE kids:

How not to sell stuff:

So Thak and I have been looking for a normal-height kitchen table so that the kids can use it more easily, plus Orren's high chair doesn't work well at our pub-height table, so we just need something lower. Being that we don't want to spend a ton on something that's probably going to get pretty hard use over the next few years, we've had our eyes on craigslist and other local ad sites for something old and kind of beat up, but that we can refinish to our liking. Our only requirements are that it be solid wood, and that it be sound.

I found something that seemed to fit the bill yesterday, and the $100 pricetag was almost too good to be true. (We were planning on spending up to $250.) so I emailed the seller, and asked if she still had it. I told her my husband and I were looking for an older solid-wood dining table, of regular height, to refinish, and we would be interested in coming and having a look at the one she listed.

She emails me back and asks me to come NOW. Well, sorry, but Thak's at work, so no. I'm not going to go and buy something for him to refinish, without him looking at it, too. Plus, what if he doesn't like it? It's his house, too... So I said no. I really couldn't come NOW.

Well, she emails me again, asking if I'm SURE I can't come NOW.

I began to get annoyed, but kept my cool, and said that I was indeed certain that I could not come NOW, because I couldn't quite well fit a table and four chairs into my car, and my husband has the truck. I told a little white lie that he goes directly from work to school, but honestly, if I hadn't she would have hounded me even worse.

She emails me back, asking if I'm 100% sure I can't come tonight, and couldn't I ask my husband to ask his SGT to release him early. I explained that asking a SGT to release his boss early probably wouldn't do anything, other than get a laugh out of the whole unit, and once again told her that I was absolutely certain that I would not be by that night. I also once again explained that my husband is the one who refinishes furniture, and he HAS to have a look at it before we even decide if we want it.

She emails me back and tells me to come the following morning, and gives me the directions to her house. OK, see, where are you not getting the part about "Must bring husband with."? But the directions confirmed what I had expected. She lives in a housing area designated only for Privates. (May is certain the table is a hand-me-down from back home that they're selling in order to tide them over until payday. I think she's right. It doesn't look like the usual Private's dollar store special. It's old and beat up, but there's nice wood there which could refinish really well.)

Anyhow, I told her that I would not be by, and would give her a call if I could make it any time over the course of that day. I'm NOT planning on calling her. This is way more trouble than it's worth, and honestly, I was so put off with her just hounding me for this money, that I don't want to give her a dime even if she does have something worth buying.

So I just went into my email account, and this girl has emailed me no fewer than half a dozen times, with various ideas of how to get me to come get this thing, or bring it to me, like NOW, and all this other stuff.

I'm sorry, but I am not a money tree. Next time, don't seem so desperate, and maybe I will buy your thing. As it is, maybe next weekend, we will drive around to the various antique stores and reclaimed wood furniture stores, and find ourselves something. I don't give a crap if it's made in Mexico. I'd rather a Mexican carpenter have my money than a Private's wife who thinks it's a cool idea to hound people for it.

I just don't get it. I mean, with my purses, certainly there have been times when I needed the money from a sale, and when I notified that customer, I HOPED with everything I had that she said, "Can I come tomorrow and get it?" instead of, "Oh can it wait until payday?" but you know, I would NEVER hound a customer to pick up their order just because I (to use a recent example) spent all the disposable income for the month on school supplies we didn't end up needing, and dinner out twice last weekend. It is NOT other people's problem when I run short on cash, and it is not my problem when random strangers do. I understand needing money, and I'm happy to see someone selling things rather than dealing drugs (all too easy to get into around here!) but at the same time, give me a damn break. Find some other sucker!

Business is business... again

I thought I put my main competitor under completely because I hadn't seen anything from her in over a month, but nope, apparently she's still kicking... if weakly.

This morning, I checked her website, as I do about once a week on ALL other competing businesses, and there it was. Seems she's taken a page out of my book. Even the wording of her ad was mine. Oh well... too bad the design of the purse she was selling was completely atrocious, and it was severely overpriced. I'm sorry, but even though it appears her quality has improved a little, she's still nowhere near good enough to sell a tiny purse for the same price as the majority of my diaper bags. No, definitely not.

It was an interesting start to the day. That much is definitely true.

Often imitated, NEVER duplicated!
Anna

It'll be homeschool for now.

I've spent the past three days running around to every decent school in east-central El Paso, and have absolutely nothing to show for it besides miles on my car. We didn't get in anywhere. Nobody had a slot. Our district is open enrollment, so you CAN go to schools you're not zoned for, but there has to be a slot. They don't have to just make room for you like they would if you're zoned for it, and well, nobody had room.

Tomorrow (um, after my friends leave... they kind of invited themselves over for coffee tomorrow morning...) I'll make one last trip to East Point, aka The Worst School on the Face of the Earth, and formally withdraw her. I'll also call the coordinator of the Ft. Bliss Military Homeschoolers' Group, and get us linked in with some other homeschooling families around here. I also have to buy a homeschooling curriculum, but it definitely has to wait until payday, which is less than a week away, since I blew all the money I had on the crap that school made us buy. Until then, May gave us all her daughter's stuff from 1st Grade to tide us over, so we'll be fine.

After a while, basically once I finally get caught up on all the orders I've put on the back burner while I was running around like a lunatic trying to find a good school with an opening, we'll start the application process to a couple of private schools, and see where that gets us. However, we both have kind of realized that there's a very strong possibility that we'll be homeschooling for the entire time we are here. We'll see how it goes with the private schools. No, homeschooling is not our first choice, but it's a far better choice than sending her back to that awful school we're zoned for. That is just not an option, so it's homeschool for us... for now.

What's next? That's all I want to know. Already, we have this:
1) Thak's position on special staff.
2) Thak is a full time student at night.
3) Because of #'s 1 and 2, I basically raise these kids by myself.
4) My business is growing every day.
5) I was just tapped for a prominent position in the battalion's Family Readiness Group. (Yeah, it's voluntary, but my choice was take it and make Thak look good, or refuse it and make him look awful. Not much of a choice, really...)
6) Now I homeschool.

Next, I have to figure out how to add an 25th hour to the day, and function on no sleep.

Getting my feet wet

I have not been involved with a unit Family Readiness Group (FRG) ever since having a VERY bad experience with one right after Thak and I got married. I didn't touch it after that.

In this new unit, it really isn't a choice, though. OK, that's a lie. It's always a choice. It's just a choice of whether to participate as expected, and make Thak look good, or refuse to participate and leave him to make excuses and look like crap. The reason it's different now is because he's on the Colonel's staff, and in a very visible position within the unit. If I don't play ball, so to speak, it definitely comes back to bite him.

The Colonel gave my name along with a few others to the leader, who's another Field Grade officer's wife within the unit, and she called around. I said yes, hesitantly, and found myself on the Steering Committee. The Steering Committee consists of five people, four wives of the unit plus one paid civilian employee whose job is to facilitate the running of our FRG.

Today, I went to my very first Steering Committee meeting. I'll admit, it felt a little weird. I am not the only NCO wife, but I am definitely the youngest. I wonder how that's going to go. I think it's going to be fine, though. For one, I believe that there SHOULD be representation from the Enlisted side on this committee, and that it should be from wives of Staff Sergeants or Sergeants First Class. Much lower, and they don't have a clue. Much higher, and they are too disconnected from the rank and file, to be an asset in the way of representing them. It needs to be those of us who are above the bulk of the rabble, but still have one foot in the day to day platoon business to at least know what that business consists of.

I like the way this committee is set up, but boy do we have our work cut out for us!! Next week, we have to fill the leadership positions within all the company-level FRG's, and we're even doing platoon-level!! After that, we've got events to plan all the way through the end of the year. We have SO unbelievably much to do, and it's our job to coordinate ALL OF IT!!!

It's a tall order, and makes me wonder, once again, if I am ready for that kind of responsibility. Most of the others there today have obviously been at this much longer than I have, but then I remember that I have something they don't have. I was a soldier once. They were talking about making this FRG for EVERYONE even the single soldiers, and I jumped right on that. I can help figure out the single soldier programming. I know what it's like to be a single soldier in a unit that does nothing but family-related activities, to be on detail when everyone else is having fun, and all that. We've already got it planned that our Halloween event will include a poker tournament for the single soldiers, and I'm trying to get it through that our first fund raiser can be selling beer. Hey, it worked in my old unit! We made the most money off beer! Everyone liked the beer idea. We just have to work out the logistics of it.

I like how much influence I'm in a position to exert at this level. There are some things I have absolutely loved over the years, and other things which I have absolutely despised, and at this level, I have a pretty decent chance of helping this unit to keep the good and cull the bad for the most part. I like that. I also think the odds are good because everyone else was saying things that I really agreed with, so I think we're really on the same page.

It's really exciting how things are coming together. We've got our Halloween event in the works. There's talk of a holiday bazaar. We also talked about getting some services to these girls who need them but aren't ever going to ask for it, like financial counseling, and the like. I told about the Private's wife from our brigade that I met not long ago, who's just spending money like it's nothing, and banking on her husband's bonus coming through imminently in order to pay it all off. (This is the same girl who thought it was unfair that I live in a big house while she lives in a nasty apartment, because hey, our husbands are both in the Army. Everything should be equal!! [gimme a break].) Anyhow, I also managed to correlate one of my biggest concerns for military families in this area in general, with recent events within the battalion, and use that as a way to bring up more programs that we can bring in for these lower-enlisteds. Of course, we're going to have to lead by example, and go through it all, too, but that's ok. I expected that.

I think this is going to be good. In a way, I'm kind of sad that Thak is getting out now. We've come so far.... who would ever have thought we'd be at such a level? Special Staff and Battalion Steering Committee? If our old First Sergeant could see us now...

We pulled Erin out of school.

This morning was the last straw. We went to the school, looked for Erin's name on the class rosters, and it was nowhere. We went inside, and still, she was not on any class rosters. We went to the registrar, and she said that we needed to go to the nurse because Erin's shots weren't current (they are now, but they weren't last year, and we never filed her new shot record) so we went to the stupid nurse, and she wouldn't clear Erin to even be placed on a class roster without the new shot record on file.

OK, that's not an unreasonable request, I guess... BUT Couldn't they have told me about this during one of the three trips I took to that stupid school last week? And what's more, the lack of a Hepatitis A shot is NOT exactly a national emergency. They couldn't just say they needed the shot record by the end of the week? No, of course not, these morons wouldn't even let her in the door.l

So we told them in so many words just where they could shove it, and pulled Erin out of East Point Elementary for good. We called one private school, and another local public school district which has nothing but rave reviews, and allows people to transfer in from out of district... for a price. We also discovered that the school right up the street from us has rave reviews from everyone, so we went up there and tried to get her in on an in-district transfer, but they're already at capacity, so they couldn't take us. They did, however, recommend a comparable school after I explained the situation, "Are there any other decent schools in this district? We were at East Point and pulled her out this morning because we were completely horrified with everything about it." They nodded knowingly, and recommended Scottsdale. We're going to check it out tomorrow, and if we don't like it or they can't take us, then we'll go to a couple private schools, and begin the application process.

I'm also thinking I'm going to need to purchase a decent homeschool curriculum within the next few days, and start homeschooling her until we manage to get a transfer approved or get accepted to a private school.

This is harder than I thought it would be, but in a big way, it feels extremely good to have given those awful people the big middle finger they deserve. They're a joke and we told them so. It was as if they'd never heard that before either, but you know what? They need to. If they think their school is good, they are delusional, and need parents who have been outside the El Paso city limits and know what a REAL school and REAL teachers are like, to let them know that they're doing a piss poor job, and aren't worth the tax dollars that pay them. Maybe we opened a few eyes today. And if not, at least we gave them back a little bit of the pain in the ass they've given us over the past few months.

Bye-bye East Point! Keep screwing up kids' lives all you want, just not ours. Stick to those little illegals in the nasty apartments. It's not like their parents pay taxes or anything.... We'll take our kid elsewhere, because she is worth more than what you have the competence to give.

Private school

The more we think about it, and the more Thak hears about what I've been dealing with when it comes to the public school we're zoned for, the more convinced he becomes that we need to transfer Erin to a private school.

Today, we looked into the local offering of such things. We originally were looking mostly at Catholic schools because I had thought there were a few on our side of town, and as private schools go, Catholic schools tend to be just slightly more affordable. Plus, I trust the quality of education in Catholic schools. Unfortunately, though, all the Catholic elementary schools were practically on the opposite side of town, and when you live in a city of 2 million people, the other side of town is very far, and the gas to get there every day, twice a day, would really add up, especially when you consider that we'd be paying tuition on top of that. We need something at least within a 20 minute drive. We found two which met our criteria.

There is the Radford School, which frankly intimidates me slightly because it seems VERY upscale and sort of one of those "tell us why your kid is the next great thing for NASA" types of schools, but I won't let that keep us from applying. The 8:1 student/teacher ratio makes it worth it. Plus, they have a heavy focus on math, which is Erin's strongest area. The tuition is a bit steep, and there was no mention of financial aid being available, but we'd find a way. If we just paid for it with the profit from my business, we could do it. We just wouldn't have the fun budget we have now. Oh well.

The other one we liked was St. Clement's Episcopal. They, again, have a very low ratio of students to teachers, and we just got a good feeling from the place. They also offer financial aid. I don't know if we'd get any, but we might, especially this year since our taxable income last year was really low since Thak was deployed for the majority of the year. (They go off most recent tax returns.) It certainly wouldn't hurt to apply.

Honestly, from my perspective, I liked St. Clement's the best. We're going to have to take campus tours of both, and go through the interviewing process, which is rather difficult considering Thak's work schedule, but I'm sure we can figure it out.

Private school, huh? Who knew it would come to this... I hope this is the right choice.

So much to do!

And before we begin, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!! I really thought Erin would pass the phone to me and Thak when she was done talking, but I guess she didn't, so here we are, a birthday wish in our little corner of cyberspace. Happy birthday from the far-west Texas relatives!!


Erin's school year starts back on Monday, meaning we have a little under 48 hours to get everything ready.

We have a massive school supply list (which is NOT actually a school supply list, but a list of crap the district couldn't be bothered to buy for the schools, by the looks of it) and Erin decided to cut her own hair last week, so I need to even up her hack job as much as possible. Otherwise, Thak found out that the New Balance outlet is having a sale on kids' shoes, so we're going to head over there and get her some new shoes. Otherwise, her uniforms still fit and were barely worn since we transferred in so late last year, so I'll just have to find those and maybe tumble them around in the dryer a little to freshen them.

We still hate her school. Being the token middle-class family is harder than I ever thought. I mean, maybe I shouldn't get offended that they always assume we live in an apartment, but if you saw the complexes near the school, you wouldn't want anyone to think you lived there either. They always hound me about not filling out the free/reduced lunch form, but we miss the income cutoff by nearly $2000 a month! We will not qualify, and I don't want to waste my time filling it out, knowing it will be for nothing. Yet still, they hound us about it, telling us that over 85% of the students receive free lunch. Yeah, 85% of students apparently also live in apartment complexes I wouldn't have my DOG live in. They also hounded me about not putting down Erin's medicaid number on her emergency card. Um, did it ever occur to them that we're not on medicaid? Apparently that puts us squarely in weirdo territory with this crowd. Wait until it dawns on them that we're not illegal aliens!! I'll bet they'd post our picture on the wall of the school as some sort of freak show. We live here legally, in a HOUSE in a decent neighborhood, make too much to qualify for free/reduced lunch, and aren't on any type of welfare!! Call the papers!!

Upon hearing about this, and how much trouble the people at the school gave me, Thak said we're pulling Erin out of there and putting her in Catholic school as soon as we find one we like. There are many in El Paso, and I'll bet we'll probably be much happier in that environment. Hey, at least our kid wouldn't be the only white kid in sight, nor would she be the only one in brand name shoes...

Otherwise, it's all the same stuff. I've got tons of orders, pretty much put my competition under within the past week. In fact, one of her former customers was just here to pick up what she ordered from me. (tee hee!) Other than that, I didn't schedule any weekend appointments this time because I've worked five weekends in a row, and that's just not fair to Thak or the kids that our house is Grand Central every weekend. Plus after this week, I needed the break. Those customers who were horrible over email, but seemed fine in person, actually turned out to be quite horrible. The one of them, I finished her bag, and it was identical to the sketches I drew up for her while she was here, which she approved. I emailed her a picture, and she said, "Eww... hope it looks different in person." It does NOT look different in person, and it is a very well made, top quality bag, which I can name at least a dozen people who would love to have it. No, but she apparently thought she was going to get something like my friend May's bag, which she saw when she was over here (because I had May come over and hang out with me that day, and she was showing her bag off because she loves it). The thing is, that's NOT AT ALL what she ordered, and she didn't say, "I'd like what she's having" or anything to hint that she wanted basically a different colored copy of May's bag. Had she done that, I'd have made it that way. Since she didn't, I made her what she ordered, and she hated it.

I was shaken by this because I have NEVER had that reaction to my work. Ever. I had one girl who wanted different straps on her bag because she thought she'd like them lined in color, but didn't end up wanting it that way, while I was at Ft. Stewart. That is the ONLY time I've had to change something about someone's bag, and that girl didn't make it seem like it was my fault. She knew she ordered the lined straps, and when she didn't like the look of them, she paid to have them changed out for plain straps. No problemo. This idiot, on the other hand, wants her purse redone because she ordered one thing and wanted another. What a fool. I'm redoing it, but I'm making her wait a few weeks for it. (In reality, I could have it done tomorrow, but I don't want to. If she had been nice to me, I would have. Since she wasn't, she'll wait a few weeks, maybe a month. Frankly I'm too disgusted with her to sew ANYTHING for her anytime soon.)

May said she got a bad vibe off of her when she was here. I see her point now. After having her over again tomorrow to look at the bag, which she treated as if it were infected with bubonic plague, I saw that this girl's energy was so bad that I couldn't get her out of my house quick enough, and called May freaking out as soon as she left. She said, "see my point?" I said, "I do! You told me so!" because she did...

It's also been a hard week for Thak at work. There was a death in the battalion yesterday. The guy isn't one of Thak's soldiers anymore, but used to be. He was really messed up, and everyone was happy on some level when he disappeared. Everyone's kind of kicking themselves now since he turned up dead. There is a criminal investigation open, but they probably won't find anything. That's all I can say really... There is also another issue within the battalion with a sensitive item that went missing three days ago. It's an item which is worth thousands on the black market, so I'm sure whoever took it has sold it by now and we'll never see it again. I've never heard of anything like this happening, in all my 8 years in or with the Army. It's been a bad week for the battalion.

However, I have been tapped to be on the Battalion's Family Readiness Group Steering Committee. It's basically a bunch of Officers' wives, plus me. I'm on there because Thak is on Colonel's special staff, and Colonel thought I was squared away when he met me, so he gave my name to the Major's wife, and the rest is history. I don't know that I'm really ready for this kind of leadership responsibility, but I don't think anyone who truly is, actually thinks they are. In my experience, the ones who think they are ready for this type of thing (and have no prior experience at it, nor any formal Senior Spouse Leadership courses) are the ones who have no business doing it in the first place. That's what May said, and that it's better that I do it than some lower-enlisted wife who got married yesterday. Good point, May. I just hope I don't screw it up.

So that's really about it. My customer has come and gone, and it's now time to go out shopping. Maybe I can even pick up a new dress or two for myself while we're at the outlets!! Hey, I'll use my purse money... Why not?

Table food

Orren likes it! Night before last, we were eating, and he was sitting there with us, having merely nibbled at his Gerber Organic Pasta Primavera, and he started to reach for my plate. I gave him a bite of mashed potatoes, and he LOVED it. He ate like half my mashed potatoes.

Last night, he did the same thing with rice, and didn't mind a bit that the rice had a bit of the gravy from pepper steak on it. He loved it!!

Earlier that same day, he had refused his bottle, but then began shoving cereal similar to cheerios in his mouth like a man eating Doritos during the Super Bowl.

The boy likes table food. I believe I have bought my last baby food until next time. That rocks.

Dear toddler mommy:

OK, you're nice and all... completely annoying, but you mean well. However, I must point out that even though you seem to not understand WHY my 6-year-old would not like to come to your kid's 2nd birthday party, you will understand in approximately four years.

For one thing, the theme is a little kids' TV show, which is something Erin doesn't completely hate, but is more prone to turn on and then get bored with two minutes later, BECAUSE IT'S FOR 3-YEAR-OLDS!!! So no, the fact that you're doing that theme does not entice me to subject my kid to it in the least.

For another thing, you already invited some of our friends (whose kids are close in age to ours), and they told you no for the same reasons, so there will not be any older kids there for her to play with. She likes little kids, don't get me wrong, but she's not going to be very pleased with spending the entire afternoon with nothing but toddlers.

Take my word for it. My first-grader does not wish to attend. Can we please leave it at that?

Signed,
School-age kid mommy






Is it just me, or have toddler parents gotten more obnoxious within the past couple years? I was discussing this with my friends May and Kelly the other day at coffee. We've all got younger elementary school aged kids, but those are our oldest. Kelly has a 4-year-old as well, and May and I both have babies. We all have noticed that toddler moms are becoming really obnoxious. They all want to get our kids together, and don't take the hint when we mention that we can't make it because of our kids' school activities, sports practices, or other big kid stuff that's a daily reality for our families. I mean, if our younger kids were of the age to play with their toddlers, then I could see the point, but they're not. Kelly's son gets along best with the school-aged kids anyhow because he's not much younger than they are, and the babies won't really be good playmates for toddlers. Somehow, if we explain this straight out to these toddler momzillas, they get really mad, and word gets around post that we think we're too good to hang out with anyone whose kids are younger than ours. That's simply not the case. What I don't want is to spend an afternoon listening to my 6-year-old whine about how bored she is because all there is to play with is a room full of 1 and 2 year olds.

When Erin was a toddler, I cannot ever recall thinking a school-aged kid would be a good playmate for her. I cannot ever recall thinking that some mom with school-aged kids thought she was better than us just because she wasn't up for a playdate. (BTW, it's not called a playdate anymore once they're older than about 5.) May and Kelly say the same of when their oldest girls were little.

Maybe it's because we were all young mommies, and now that we're the age when a lot of people start their families (Kelly, 24; May, 30; Me, 27) the moms who are our age do tend to have younger kids. Within the military community, the norm is to have kids while you're very young, so most toddler mommies aren't quite legal drinking age, if you get what I'm saying. I understand why a 28-year-old wouldn't want to hang out with that set, but at the same time, shouldn't she, of all people, understand why our 6-8 year old daughters (and Kelly's 4-year-old son) don't want to hang out with her 2-year-old?

Ah, for the good old days...

Today, I am reminded that the good old days of the Army were so much better...

Back in the good old days, families were not expected to believe we were all the same on any but a human level. In the good old days, it was acceptable to acknowledge that our husband's rank had a big role in determining our lifestyle.

Yes, in the good old days, the wife of a brand new Private wouldn't take one look at my house, say it was unfair that I live here while she lives in a nasty old apartment, and wonder out loud why her husband wouldn't get her a big house like my husband got for me. Back then, I would not have had to explain to her that pay is different for soldiers who have served 17 years like mine vs 4 months like hers.

Ah to be back then, when the wife of a rank-and-file soldier would not argue with the wife of someone on the Colonel's staff about what the unit was up to next. Oh yes, there was once a time when the obvious was accepted as obvious, that some positions within the unit (and yes, some ranks) knew more, and knew it sooner, than others. No, I'm sorry, but what your PFC husband heard from his PFC buddies does not trump what my husband heard in the Command and Staff meeting, from the Colonel himself. Once upon a time, nobody would have argued with me on that.

If you've never been in my position (and most of my readers have not been) then you wonder why I even care about these others, what they think, and what they say. I guess I don't HAVE to. I could plug my ears, hang out only with my two close friends whose husbands are exactly Thak's rank, and who have been affiliated with the Army for the same amount of time as I have, give or take a year. I could hole myself up in my house and only deal with those two, but that's not realistic. I HAVE to deal with these others, and I HAVE to listen to them going on and on and on about the things which intrigue them, which are usually things which I've been through more times than anyone ever should, and by now know are my own personal hell. I'm sorry, but I don't want to hear about how the unit is supposedly deploying next month because some PFC is getting trigger-happy and started a rumor to that effect. No, I happen to know that in the Command and Staff meeting, deployment is not even discussed with a date, just as "an eventuality" meaning it's not happening this year, and may not even happen next year. NOBODY KNOWS YET, BUT IT'S NO TIME SOON. Still, I have to listen to the No Tour Wonders going on and on about it as if it's the new cool thing to do, and I'm sorry, but that just gets tiresome.

Yes, once upon a time, I could shut them up. Now they all chorus just like sheep at feeding time, "Wives are all the same! We have no rank! You don't know anything we don't know!" Yes, because over the course of the past 8 years for which I have been affiliated with the Army either as a soldier, a girlfriend, or a wife, I've learned absolutely nothing that they haven't picked up in the 4 MONTHS since their husband got the ingenious idea to stop at the recruiting station.

And I'm sorry, but it is TOTALLY fair that I live better than they do because of Thak's rank. So what if I married him 12 years into his career? We all choose the ramifications of what we marry. Choose to marry a Private, you choose to be poor and not well regarded. Choose to marry someone of Thak's persuasion, you choose to raise your children alone because he's always working, but hey, you get to do it in a nice big house.... Choose to marry an officer, yes, you will have all kinds of perks, but you will also have TONS of obligations, and what's voluntary for NCO wives like me is MANDATORY for Officers' wives.

We all choose our lot. I'm comfy in the middle. I can accept that some are higher than I am, and I give them proper respect. I wish those below me and my friends would give us proper respect and consideration. Once upon a time, they would have known.... Now the Army is just too politically correct for its own good.

Not too much longer until we're done!!!

You're killing me, Smalls.

So business is, um, interesting. There is still the girl who makes the crappiest purses imaginable, but that's old news. There's a new one who just arrived on the scene yesterday, who makes purses that LOOK great, but CAN'T be correctly made for the price she's charging. That leads me to believe she's cutting corners somewhere. Nobody works for free, and if she were making those purses correctly, she would be doing just that by charging those unfeasibly low prices.

It's getting interesting around here. This very thing happened at Ft. Hood in 2007. One girl, a Staff Sergeant's wife with mad design skills and a perfectionist streak half a mile wide, began making purses from old uniform tops. Her purses were impeccable. Her designs, original. Her customer service, outstanding. Her quality, unbeatable. Like me, she always sought to improve, by finding the best products she could to use in her bags, designing new styles to keep people interested, and always making sure she put out a top quality product that nobody would ever regret buying, and which would last forever. However, just as she was making a name for herself by doing the job right, no fewer than 50 other wives saw that she was making money sewing purses, and decided to go ahead and get themselves a piece of that market share. Their stuff was crap for the most part, and she was still the only one doing it right, but if that many competitors even take away ONE customer apiece each month, that's still a really significant amount of money.

It's happening here now. People see that I'm making good money at this (no surprise... I'm in my third year of making good money at this!) and they want a piece of that. "What she got that I don't got!! I have a sewing machine, and a stack of skanky old uniforms! I can do what she does!" By the end of the month, I expect there will be even more people who are doing this, and they'll probably be doing it incorrectly, turning out crap, and making business that much more difficult for me, because when people have a bad experience with this type of thing, they get skeptical, and I have to deal with being "guilty until I prove myself innocent" when they finally come to their senses, and come to me.

It doesn't annoy me that these people want to try to do what I do. It's a free country. People are more than welcome to go into business doing whatever they want. It's just annoying because they obviously don't get that it takes a long time to get to the level they're trying to just jump in at. I tested products, designs, and techniques for YEARS before I got to the point I am at now. You don't just jump right in where I am. You CAN'T. It's impossible. But these people seem to think that there's just nothing to it, and they just want to go ahead and take little nibbles out of my market share, and it's just plain annoying.

This never happened at Ft. Stewart. I was the only show in town for the entire time I was there. I watched from a distance as this very thing began happening at Ft. Hood, and the girl who was doing it right had to get very creative in order to rise above the "Hey, I've got a sewing machine and a stack of skanky old uniforms!" masses. She launched a website and went international. She's become a household name in the military community. She sells to military wives in many different countries (and NOT just Americans stationed there! Foreign nationals, too!) She was overrun with stupid annoying "competition", and rose above it the only way she could.

Something is going to have to change for me. I see what's happening here, and it's a direct replay of Ft. Hood in 2007. I spent yesterday on the phone with a friend who does web design, and another friend I asked to sniff out the newest addition for me. I am stepping up my advertising by about 300% in order to milk this local market for all it's worth while I figure out what my next course of action is. I'm definitely having a fall sale and design open house in a couple months, and I'm getting ready for that. I think if I let the people come in and SEE a lot of my stuff, 100 or more original pieces all at the same time, then they will see the difference, so that will help.

My job right now is to distinguish myself from these others as much as I can while deciding what the next step is. I don't want this to get unmanageably big. Been there, done that, everything sucked when it was TOO big. I want to stay at a nice manageable level, but with steady business, and on definitely a different level than these others. I'm going to be launching my website within the next couple weeks, as soon as it's ready. Then it's all in how I promote.

This is going to be one hell of a ride. I just can't stay down here with these others anymore when I'm doing something drastically different. I have to distinguish myself from all that, promote my brand, and hope for the best.

And now I'm off to buy more elastic, because I ran out right in the middle of like a dozen diaper bag orders. Gotta love that...

I like when things go better than expected.

So the girls who I was dreading came over today right on time. Honestly, with the fact that most of my customers show up an hour or so late that was a big deal to begin with. (I'm currently still waiting on my 2:00, and it's now 3:30. Last time, she was 2 hours late, so I haven't given up hope yet.) Then they saw my bags, and were immediately ready to order.

See, I had pictured them scrutinizing every detail, pulling at things, being really picky and rude, but that's not what happened at all. They just wanted to know that my stuff wasn't total crap. They'd had a bad experience before and weren't in the market for another. They could definitely have worded their emails better, and if they'd done that, I wouldn't have had the impression of them that I did, but it turned out they were actually really decent, liked my work, and both are ordering. One ordered today, the other is going to order in a couple weeks. Works for me.

I like when things go better than expected. Now, if only that 2:00 would show up....

Oh boy!

So this Saturday, I'm taking customers. Thankfully most of them are pick-ups, so I'll actually get money for this, not like last month when they were all coming to get their bags sketched out, not that there's anything wrong with that. Sketches become purses, and purses become money, but it always feels a little better after working your ass off all day, if you go make the bank deposit at the end, and know that you have gotten one step closer to where you want to be, rather than if all you have at the end of the day is a book full of sketches which you've got to bring to life before you'll see a dime.

So Saturday SHOULD be good. The only really icky thing is that I have this one customer who's been emailing me constantly for the past month, basically acting like they want to come inspect my work. I mean, ok, it's fine and dandy to want to see stuff in person before you buy it. I understand and support that 100% and anyone is welcome to come and see samples (can't guarantee how many I'll have on hand... my stuff sells fast) any time I can schedule them in. It's the manner in which this girl went about it. I mean, she and her friend are basically thinking my stuff is crap, and want me to prove to them that it's not. OK, I mean, if you've ever seen the stuff I make, you know it's excellent, and it better be for how long I've been doing this, but I'm just a little put off (ok, A LOT put off) by this girl who thinks she can come in, act like my stuff is crap, and basically demand to come into my home, and INSPECT my work. I WANTED to say to her, "And who the hell do you think you are?" but what I really said, after consulting with Thak, was, "Sure. I can fit you in at 1:15."

Lucky for me, Thak will be home, and has said that if they're disrespectful toward me or my work, he'll kick them out. One of my friends whose husband is away on training is also bringing her car over here then so Thak can change the oil for her, and she'll be hanging out inside with me while my customers are coming through, so if this girl acts stupid, at least I'll have my friend with me and my husband outside. Not that it will make much difference in the practical sense, but if I have to deal with a first-class jerk, I'd rather not do it alone. I also don't care for the 2 on 1 thing these girls seem to be expecting. It's my experience that the bullies run in packs, but if you do, too, they don't try to rip you off nearly as hard.

So yeah, anyhow, it's going to be interesting if nothing else. I hope those crazies actually order something. Between the two of them, they're probably good for about $100, and I can't turn that down on the basis of it coming out of a bitch's pocket. I'll take it. I guess I better go and finish the order I'm working on now (luckily it's for a nice girl) and make sure it's "inspection ready" for tomorrow! (Can you hear my eyes rolling just at the thought of it? You should.)