So, we have 314 days until we tell Uncle Sam to shove it. Actually, we've already told Uncle Sam to shove it. He has 314 days until he actually has to do it. The irony? Around that time, Thak's MOS changes to something completely different, and if he stayed in, he'd probably retire as a Sergeant Major before the next decade is out, but it's not worth it. Had they done this 3 years ago (they've been talking about it for the past 6!) we'd be in a very different place right now. Oh well. That's what the Army gets for dragging ass on important changes.
Plus, being forced to go back to the UAV program (which, if you recall, Thak never chose for himself anyhow... he was selected by the Army when they first made the program) would not be ideal, because we really didn't like the people affiliated with it. It's full of uppity lower-enlisteds who think they're the bomb, cut-throat NCO's who don't understand a word of the NCO creed, and shady race relations.
No, seriously. There is a lot of speculation as to why 99% of minority soldiers who attempt to get into the program flunk out in the early phases. Each unit seems to have a token Asian guy, and he's the lone minority. I'm not making this up. It was a white friend who pointed it out to Thak. It hadn't occurred to us before then.
So yeah, even though the prospect of more rank, at this point, sounds really good, and will probably always sound really good, there's really not enough chevrons, rockers, or pretty things to go between them, to make it worthwhile to jump back into that snake pit again.
314 days, Uncle Sam. Enjoy your ownership of our asses while it lasts, because the days are numbered!!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
You are a trainwreck.
I've known this person for years now. She's rather fun to hang out with until you look at her wrong and she turns and stabs you in the back. I've watched her do it to dozens of people (in fact, I only know one person she hasn't done it to), and she's done it to me. I keep good contact with her for a few reasons. For one, I'm a little fascinated with the fact that anybody on the planet ever trusts this woman, and I'm trying to figure out WHY. And for another, well, you know who to "keep closer", right? Yeah.
So anyhow, I just have to say it. WOW. What a trainwreck. She makes Hollywood celebrities look sane. It's pathetic that at the age of 41, she swipes clothes from her 15-year-old's closet, and shops at stores like Abercrombie and Fitch for herself. It's bad enough that she tans so much that she looks like a saddle with eyes. It's bad enough that she processes her hair so much in a pathetic bid to look like a different race than the one she was born, and that any "beauty" she may have, is bought and paid for every few weeks.
Lately, she's taken it to a whole new level of trainwreckness, though. She's got this husband, you see. He's about 10 years younger than she is, not the least bit attractive, but fits the archetype of what she thinks is the right thing to be with. It was bad enough when she accused me of trying to steal him (EWWWW!!! He's so ugly and has the personality of cardboard!! Have you SEEN my gorgeous husband?? Why on earth would I want your butt ugly one who's a big jerk, too?? Hell, I don't even understand what YOU see in him.) Anyhow, so being married has been total drama from day one. I've known her since before she was married to this one, and she was still a drama queen, but being married has made it so much worse. First, she insisted that she deserved a bigger diamond (which turned into an entire set) just for being married 3 years, so he got her one, and not six months later, she was hawking it online because she was ready to leave him. At the place where we both used to live, she used to fight with him constantly, and then run home to her family 4 hours away. Now she lives farther away from there, and she's always wanting to divorce this douchebag.
Frankly, I wish they'd just get it over with. She's always ranting and raving about what a stupid idiot he is, and how glad she is when he has to work late or overnight, or goes out of town, and she is always flying to another state to see her "best friend", who's a very handsome First Sergeant, and totally her type. She posts pictures online of them looking at the sunset from this guy's balcony, and he bought her a $500 purse for her birthday. Yeah, they're just friends, though... Everyone knows she's not just "best friends" with this guy. EVERYONE knows it. Yet she keeps up the charade.
You know, I could take this for the entertaining real-life reality show this is if it weren't for the fact that she gets her kids in on the mix. She's always the first one to criticize others' parenting, yet she's got her kids in on her drama 24/7. While I accept that it's her right to be as much of a low-life trainwreck as she wants, dragging the kids into it is just extremely poor form. I was just saying last night (not to her, but to someone who knows us both well) that those kids are going to grow up to make someone's life hell. Can you imagine being raised by THAT??
Yeah... seriously, though. What a trainwreck.
So anyhow, I just have to say it. WOW. What a trainwreck. She makes Hollywood celebrities look sane. It's pathetic that at the age of 41, she swipes clothes from her 15-year-old's closet, and shops at stores like Abercrombie and Fitch for herself. It's bad enough that she tans so much that she looks like a saddle with eyes. It's bad enough that she processes her hair so much in a pathetic bid to look like a different race than the one she was born, and that any "beauty" she may have, is bought and paid for every few weeks.
Lately, she's taken it to a whole new level of trainwreckness, though. She's got this husband, you see. He's about 10 years younger than she is, not the least bit attractive, but fits the archetype of what she thinks is the right thing to be with. It was bad enough when she accused me of trying to steal him (EWWWW!!! He's so ugly and has the personality of cardboard!! Have you SEEN my gorgeous husband?? Why on earth would I want your butt ugly one who's a big jerk, too?? Hell, I don't even understand what YOU see in him.) Anyhow, so being married has been total drama from day one. I've known her since before she was married to this one, and she was still a drama queen, but being married has made it so much worse. First, she insisted that she deserved a bigger diamond (which turned into an entire set) just for being married 3 years, so he got her one, and not six months later, she was hawking it online because she was ready to leave him. At the place where we both used to live, she used to fight with him constantly, and then run home to her family 4 hours away. Now she lives farther away from there, and she's always wanting to divorce this douchebag.
Frankly, I wish they'd just get it over with. She's always ranting and raving about what a stupid idiot he is, and how glad she is when he has to work late or overnight, or goes out of town, and she is always flying to another state to see her "best friend", who's a very handsome First Sergeant, and totally her type. She posts pictures online of them looking at the sunset from this guy's balcony, and he bought her a $500 purse for her birthday. Yeah, they're just friends, though... Everyone knows she's not just "best friends" with this guy. EVERYONE knows it. Yet she keeps up the charade.
You know, I could take this for the entertaining real-life reality show this is if it weren't for the fact that she gets her kids in on the mix. She's always the first one to criticize others' parenting, yet she's got her kids in on her drama 24/7. While I accept that it's her right to be as much of a low-life trainwreck as she wants, dragging the kids into it is just extremely poor form. I was just saying last night (not to her, but to someone who knows us both well) that those kids are going to grow up to make someone's life hell. Can you imagine being raised by THAT??
Yeah... seriously, though. What a trainwreck.
Friday, June 25, 2010
18 months!!
Orren is 18 months old today! I tried to take a picture of him, but he was too busy to be still, so what I got wasn't the best. I can't believe he's a year and a half old already. It's gone by too fast. What a big boy! He says so many words, knows 3 or 4 body parts, loves music and tries to sing and dance. He's really into dinosaurs, cars, and blocks. He can throw his football all the way across the room now!
He still eats like crazy. His favorite foods are avocados, peaches, bananas, Kix, string cheese, and yogurt. He still wears a size 3T. He's not growing as quickly as he was, which is normal for this age, and fine with us since we were having a hard time keeping up with his constant outgrowing of clothes.
Orren 18 months ago, just a couple hours old:
Orren today, too busy to sit still for a picture!
Oh, and in case you didn't know, this means there are exactly 6 months left for Christmas shopping, and more importantly, to find the perfect birthday present for Orren! None of these single presents for two occasions. He asked me to pass that along.
He still eats like crazy. His favorite foods are avocados, peaches, bananas, Kix, string cheese, and yogurt. He still wears a size 3T. He's not growing as quickly as he was, which is normal for this age, and fine with us since we were having a hard time keeping up with his constant outgrowing of clothes.
Orren 18 months ago, just a couple hours old:
Orren today, too busy to sit still for a picture!
Oh, and in case you didn't know, this means there are exactly 6 months left for Christmas shopping, and more importantly, to find the perfect birthday present for Orren! None of these single presents for two occasions. He asked me to pass that along.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Now it's real.
Erin had her evaluations today to figure out the details of her learning disability. It wasn't bad news at all, really. She's actually really advanced in some areas, but of course, really behind in others. I wasn't expecting to find out that she was advanced in really any area, so that was cool. It turns out that the areas she's behind in are related to her language delay, which we've had some idea for a long time that she had. Those areas should improve with speech therapy, which any school is more than equipped to provide her with. She ought to be fine in the long run. It's going to be a lot of work, of course, but that's a given.
Like I said, we've known for years that she wasn't on track in speech and language. Although, I will say, it was not nearly so obvious until we had Orren. Orren talks as well at almost 18 months as Erin did at 3 years. It's easy to think something's not so bad when it's all you see day in and day out, but having a more typically developing child now, Orren, has kind of driven home the point of how much catching up Erin really has to do. She'll do it. We're not afraid of this thing, although it's completely uncharted territory for us. We can figure it out, advocate for her, and hopefully get her all she needs to be all caught up to her peers as quickly as she's able. She is very smart. That may be a funny thing to hear about a child with a learning disability, but it's true. She is smart, and we have faith in her.
At the same time, as much as we try to keep our heads up about all this, because really, we don't have a choice but to do that, it's a big reality check. As much as we've always known that she was delayed in language and speech, it's almost as if some small part of us reserved hope that she would test out just fine, or just someday wake up mature enough to learn everything that the other kids learn, in the same way they learn it. Now we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that is not going to happen, at least not any time soon. We have a child with academic special needs. It feels weird to say it, but it's the truth. We're not disappointed with her or anything. We love Erin exactly the way she is. She is still our sweet, wonderful, outstanding, brilliant little girl. Things just got a little more complicated is all, academically anyhow. I guess they didn't just get this way. This is something that's always been there. We just know with 100% certainty what it is now, and that will take some getting used to. We can't hide from it anymore, not that we ever were consciously hiding from it, but maybe subconsciously, we were hiding from the full ramifications of it.
The thing that comes to mind most of all is simply why the schools never sent her for speech evaluation. I know back in GA, when she tested out low as an incoming Kindergartener, they placed her in a special class. That helped a lot, and really, I think the style of teaching she was given there was the perfect thing for her. She seemed to learn really well. It was only half the puzzle, though. We learned today that she absolutely has to have speech therapy if she's going to improve and overcome this thing, because all the issues she has, stem directly from her language delay. Why did nobody recommend her for a speech evaluation at either of the public schools she has attended? How could they all miss something like that? It's pretty obvious if you've ever spoken with her for more than half a second that something's not right with her speech.
So yeah, this is going to be a ride. Frankly, I'll just be glad when we get through her placement testing at the school, give them all the reports from her evaluations, and get through the first IEP meeting. Once we do that, and they haven't rejected us at some point in that process, I'll feel a whole lot better about this whole thing. Yes, yes, I know... they're a charter school, and cannot reject us because of a learning disability. Everyone I know who has any knowledge at all of the education system keeps telling me that, and on most levels, I know that they are right. I do not know much about the school system, just what I pick up along the way, and outdated stuff I know from when I was in school, but a lot of what I've picked up along the way is the fact that we've been rejected by every private school in town because she couldn't write her own admissions essay. The better public schools even turned us down for BS reasons, and I'm pretty sure the REAL reason, in at least some cases, was because she wouldn't be able to boost their TAKS pass percentage. We've had nothing but rejection from schools here, until we got our foot in the door at this charter school, which we were only able to do because we have a connection within the school. As much as I try to be optimistic about things as much as possible, on some level, I'm just waiting for them to reject us, too, at which point, we'd be totally screwed. This school is our LAST option. If they won't take her, we've got nothing but the crappy public school we're zoned for, and that is the farthest thing from a viable option at this point (or ever). I'll just be so glad when it's all over and done with, and she's in.
I'll buy their ugly green blazer and convince my free-spirited, artistic child to wear it, much to her chagrin. I will refrain from dying her hair pink, even though she'd love nothing more, and I'll take away her nail polish since that's against regulation, too. I'll do my required volunteer hours, and fight traffic like a madwoman every day so as not to violate the tardy policy. We'll do anything, really, at this point, if only they will take us, because we now have official documentation that we need all the help we can get. This is going to be interesting... and not easy. I'll be glad to get it started.
Like I said, we've known for years that she wasn't on track in speech and language. Although, I will say, it was not nearly so obvious until we had Orren. Orren talks as well at almost 18 months as Erin did at 3 years. It's easy to think something's not so bad when it's all you see day in and day out, but having a more typically developing child now, Orren, has kind of driven home the point of how much catching up Erin really has to do. She'll do it. We're not afraid of this thing, although it's completely uncharted territory for us. We can figure it out, advocate for her, and hopefully get her all she needs to be all caught up to her peers as quickly as she's able. She is very smart. That may be a funny thing to hear about a child with a learning disability, but it's true. She is smart, and we have faith in her.
At the same time, as much as we try to keep our heads up about all this, because really, we don't have a choice but to do that, it's a big reality check. As much as we've always known that she was delayed in language and speech, it's almost as if some small part of us reserved hope that she would test out just fine, or just someday wake up mature enough to learn everything that the other kids learn, in the same way they learn it. Now we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that is not going to happen, at least not any time soon. We have a child with academic special needs. It feels weird to say it, but it's the truth. We're not disappointed with her or anything. We love Erin exactly the way she is. She is still our sweet, wonderful, outstanding, brilliant little girl. Things just got a little more complicated is all, academically anyhow. I guess they didn't just get this way. This is something that's always been there. We just know with 100% certainty what it is now, and that will take some getting used to. We can't hide from it anymore, not that we ever were consciously hiding from it, but maybe subconsciously, we were hiding from the full ramifications of it.
The thing that comes to mind most of all is simply why the schools never sent her for speech evaluation. I know back in GA, when she tested out low as an incoming Kindergartener, they placed her in a special class. That helped a lot, and really, I think the style of teaching she was given there was the perfect thing for her. She seemed to learn really well. It was only half the puzzle, though. We learned today that she absolutely has to have speech therapy if she's going to improve and overcome this thing, because all the issues she has, stem directly from her language delay. Why did nobody recommend her for a speech evaluation at either of the public schools she has attended? How could they all miss something like that? It's pretty obvious if you've ever spoken with her for more than half a second that something's not right with her speech.
So yeah, this is going to be a ride. Frankly, I'll just be glad when we get through her placement testing at the school, give them all the reports from her evaluations, and get through the first IEP meeting. Once we do that, and they haven't rejected us at some point in that process, I'll feel a whole lot better about this whole thing. Yes, yes, I know... they're a charter school, and cannot reject us because of a learning disability. Everyone I know who has any knowledge at all of the education system keeps telling me that, and on most levels, I know that they are right. I do not know much about the school system, just what I pick up along the way, and outdated stuff I know from when I was in school, but a lot of what I've picked up along the way is the fact that we've been rejected by every private school in town because she couldn't write her own admissions essay. The better public schools even turned us down for BS reasons, and I'm pretty sure the REAL reason, in at least some cases, was because she wouldn't be able to boost their TAKS pass percentage. We've had nothing but rejection from schools here, until we got our foot in the door at this charter school, which we were only able to do because we have a connection within the school. As much as I try to be optimistic about things as much as possible, on some level, I'm just waiting for them to reject us, too, at which point, we'd be totally screwed. This school is our LAST option. If they won't take her, we've got nothing but the crappy public school we're zoned for, and that is the farthest thing from a viable option at this point (or ever). I'll just be so glad when it's all over and done with, and she's in.
I'll buy their ugly green blazer and convince my free-spirited, artistic child to wear it, much to her chagrin. I will refrain from dying her hair pink, even though she'd love nothing more, and I'll take away her nail polish since that's against regulation, too. I'll do my required volunteer hours, and fight traffic like a madwoman every day so as not to violate the tardy policy. We'll do anything, really, at this point, if only they will take us, because we now have official documentation that we need all the help we can get. This is going to be interesting... and not easy. I'll be glad to get it started.
Oh no! Not the Bum Genius 3.0!!
This was just released by Cotton Babies, the company that makes Bum Genius diapers, this morning. There will be a new product, but the BG 3.0, the backbone of our diapering system since the day Orren was born, is being discontinued. This is so sad. I hope the new product is as good as the BG 3.0, but I'm really skeptical, because the BG 3.0 just works so well for us. It's nice and trim, fits great for skinny babies, and aside from being a little shorter than we need it to be for our beanpole of a son, it's basically the perfect diaper... well, once converted to snaps, which doesn't take long.
What's more, I'm going to have to buy refresher kits ASAP because ours get A LOT of use, and may need the elastic replaced before the next baby, and I don't know if they're going to keep the refresher kits in stock for long since they're discontinuing the dipes. :(
Thak is going to hate this. He loves BG's. They're his favorite diaper ever. I can't believe they're being discontinued!
What's more, I'm going to have to buy refresher kits ASAP because ours get A LOT of use, and may need the elastic replaced before the next baby, and I don't know if they're going to keep the refresher kits in stock for long since they're discontinuing the dipes. :(
Thak is going to hate this. He loves BG's. They're his favorite diaper ever. I can't believe they're being discontinued!
Monday, June 21, 2010
It's worth little, I suppose.
This one girl I know from here asked me about turning her toddler back to rear-facing. I thought it was awesome that she wants to do it! The wrinkle? She has the same seat for that little bitty kid, as Erin has in the truck. (OK, in fairness, that seat does adjust down small, but I still always think of it as a big kid seat because most of the time, that's what it's used for.) That seat does not rear-face, so she needs a new seat in order to do this.
New car seats can be either really cheap or really expensive, and of course anything else in between. While I love expensive baby gear, and take a little bit of pride in the fact that we think nothing of buying a $300 car seat if it's the best one on the market (and it is!), there are many seats you can get for under $200 which would do the job, and one of the highly recommended ones went on sale this week for under $100. I let this person know about it, and she told me that her husband didn't want to try their youngest rear-facing again because he thinks it's impractical to go from FF to RF, and won't be feasible.
I just think that's crazy. This man knows that it's 5x safer, has seen all the crash test videos, read all the statistics, and it's not worth the money to him. It's not like they're tight on money. This is a military family, and he is close in rank to Thak. They can afford this without even thinking about it. When I told Thak about this, he said to me, "Well, I'm just glad I can't put my kids' lives' worth into a dollar figure. It seems to be common with dads. If it costs, it's not worth it. I'm glad to be smarter than that." Well, Thak, I'm glad you see things this way, too. I would have a serious bone to pick if I found out something relatively inexpensive that would keep our kids drastically safer, and he took one look at the price tag, and said "Nah. I don't think so."
New car seats can be either really cheap or really expensive, and of course anything else in between. While I love expensive baby gear, and take a little bit of pride in the fact that we think nothing of buying a $300 car seat if it's the best one on the market (and it is!), there are many seats you can get for under $200 which would do the job, and one of the highly recommended ones went on sale this week for under $100. I let this person know about it, and she told me that her husband didn't want to try their youngest rear-facing again because he thinks it's impractical to go from FF to RF, and won't be feasible.
I just think that's crazy. This man knows that it's 5x safer, has seen all the crash test videos, read all the statistics, and it's not worth the money to him. It's not like they're tight on money. This is a military family, and he is close in rank to Thak. They can afford this without even thinking about it. When I told Thak about this, he said to me, "Well, I'm just glad I can't put my kids' lives' worth into a dollar figure. It seems to be common with dads. If it costs, it's not worth it. I'm glad to be smarter than that." Well, Thak, I'm glad you see things this way, too. I would have a serious bone to pick if I found out something relatively inexpensive that would keep our kids drastically safer, and he took one look at the price tag, and said "Nah. I don't think so."
Friday, June 18, 2010
Gifted? Is that what they're calling it these days?
I figured out part of the reason why the parents who are always prattling on and on about how gifted their children are annoy me. It's not only because I find their kids to mostly be on the stronger side of average, yet they seem to think they're on the fast track to Nobel just because someone said they're moderately intelligent. It's also because I think the gifted designation has come not to mean anything in recent years.
I was in said program when I was a kid, and it wasn't what it is today. Today, they just basically do somewhat advanced coursework, and it's very academic in nature. It's not something I would ever want my kid to be a part of, nor that I would have wanted any part of as a kid. I spent my academic career trying to get the teachers to leave me alone so I could do what I wanted to do. Being smarter than the average bear, this was easy to do in the early grades, but it would not have been easy to do if gifted amounted to just more classroom BS. That's awful.
No, what I think of, when I think of gifted education is a lot freer than what it is today. We had tables in the classroom, yes, but we never used them. We mostly sat on the floor, or in bean bag chairs, and did what interested us. We read Shakespeare (a lot! For some reason, the weirder the gifted kid, the more they love Shakespeare.) We wrote and put on plays. We did Euclidean Geometry. We designed and built boats, and tested them in a pool. We learned about botany, geography, and whatever else interested us. We ran through approximately one teacher a year, because this job was probably not easy. The only teacher who completely sucked was the one who tried to shove us into the normal classroom mold that wasn't working for any of us in the first place, which is why we were there to begin with.
The other thing is that I think the gifted designation is horribly overused these days. It seems like any kid who's marginally good at academics is now considered gifted. When I went though, there was more to it than that. In fact, with the knowledge that's out there these days, I'd say, of my gifted class of 8 kids, 6 of us would promptly be diagnosed with high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome if we were kids today. The gifted program, and having that place where it was ok to be who we were, was totally invaluable, because being thrown in with the rest of the world in the normal classroom, was disaster for every single one of us. We couldn't really relate to the other kids on any decent level, a high percentage of the teachers despised us because we never really would just fall in with the rest of the class, and if you talk with any of us, we'll all describe to you what it was like to have the world trying to shove us into this "normal" box we simply did not have the means of fitting into.
I often wonder what would have happened back then, if they'd classified us as Aspies rather than just calling us gifted, and leaving it at that. I guess my whole thing is if they're letting every Neurotypical person and their brother into the gifted program these days, what becomes of the Aspies? Is the gifted program just another circle of hell now, just one more place not to fit in, and to be socially ostracized by peers just like in the regular classroom? Do they no longer consider Aspies gifted? I think that's crap. We ARE gifted. If you look at the most brilliant people in the history of the world, at least half of them were (or are suspected to have been) Aspies. According to Dr. Hans Asperger, brilliance requires a touch of Autism, and in looking at history and the present, I can buy that at least to an extent.
I'm not saying there aren't brilliant Neurotypical people out there. There most certainly are, and tons of them at that. I just wonder if the true intent of gifted education has been cast by the wayside in the name of including people who don't really need it, at the expense of those who really do. It just seems mighty average these days, and that's a shame. Maybe I should tell the most braggadocios of the parents that. No, I won't. It wouldn't accomplish much. It is rather tempting, though. Gifted isn't gifted anymore, and hearing about average kids who are being told they're gifted is so annoying.
I was in said program when I was a kid, and it wasn't what it is today. Today, they just basically do somewhat advanced coursework, and it's very academic in nature. It's not something I would ever want my kid to be a part of, nor that I would have wanted any part of as a kid. I spent my academic career trying to get the teachers to leave me alone so I could do what I wanted to do. Being smarter than the average bear, this was easy to do in the early grades, but it would not have been easy to do if gifted amounted to just more classroom BS. That's awful.
No, what I think of, when I think of gifted education is a lot freer than what it is today. We had tables in the classroom, yes, but we never used them. We mostly sat on the floor, or in bean bag chairs, and did what interested us. We read Shakespeare (a lot! For some reason, the weirder the gifted kid, the more they love Shakespeare.) We wrote and put on plays. We did Euclidean Geometry. We designed and built boats, and tested them in a pool. We learned about botany, geography, and whatever else interested us. We ran through approximately one teacher a year, because this job was probably not easy. The only teacher who completely sucked was the one who tried to shove us into the normal classroom mold that wasn't working for any of us in the first place, which is why we were there to begin with.
The other thing is that I think the gifted designation is horribly overused these days. It seems like any kid who's marginally good at academics is now considered gifted. When I went though, there was more to it than that. In fact, with the knowledge that's out there these days, I'd say, of my gifted class of 8 kids, 6 of us would promptly be diagnosed with high-functioning Asperger's Syndrome if we were kids today. The gifted program, and having that place where it was ok to be who we were, was totally invaluable, because being thrown in with the rest of the world in the normal classroom, was disaster for every single one of us. We couldn't really relate to the other kids on any decent level, a high percentage of the teachers despised us because we never really would just fall in with the rest of the class, and if you talk with any of us, we'll all describe to you what it was like to have the world trying to shove us into this "normal" box we simply did not have the means of fitting into.
I often wonder what would have happened back then, if they'd classified us as Aspies rather than just calling us gifted, and leaving it at that. I guess my whole thing is if they're letting every Neurotypical person and their brother into the gifted program these days, what becomes of the Aspies? Is the gifted program just another circle of hell now, just one more place not to fit in, and to be socially ostracized by peers just like in the regular classroom? Do they no longer consider Aspies gifted? I think that's crap. We ARE gifted. If you look at the most brilliant people in the history of the world, at least half of them were (or are suspected to have been) Aspies. According to Dr. Hans Asperger, brilliance requires a touch of Autism, and in looking at history and the present, I can buy that at least to an extent.
I'm not saying there aren't brilliant Neurotypical people out there. There most certainly are, and tons of them at that. I just wonder if the true intent of gifted education has been cast by the wayside in the name of including people who don't really need it, at the expense of those who really do. It just seems mighty average these days, and that's a shame. Maybe I should tell the most braggadocios of the parents that. No, I won't. It wouldn't accomplish much. It is rather tempting, though. Gifted isn't gifted anymore, and hearing about average kids who are being told they're gifted is so annoying.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
The US Army and medical marijuana
I found this article through American Women Veterans recently, and it's been on my mind ever since. It's just so awful, yet so typical of the Army, to do something like this.
I've never made any secret of the fact that I support full and unrestricted legalization of marijuana. Medical use is the first step to that, and a lot of states are now on board with this. At bare minimum, the least we can do as a self-professed progressive nation, is to allow people who would benefit from marijuana use as a medical treatment, to obtain and use it without worrying about getting busted by law enforcement just for trying to cope with whichever of the numerous diseases it helps with, that they may be affected by.
The US Army, as always, is far behind the times when it comes to this. I can think of a dozen ways in which the Army generally goes along with the laws of the state any given soldier is in. Most post commanders have their Military Police enforce traffic laws the same way local police do so that there is consistency. Post housing goes along with local trends. Food prices in the commissary are fairly commensurate with local trends as well. This medical marijuana dilemma is one thing in which the Army lags big time, and it comes down to just a couple of things. One of which is, of course, the simple refusal to see marijuana as something other than the 1960's classroom film Reefer Madness portrays it to be. The other is the good old boys' club "because we say so, that's why" mentality that is absolutely pervasive Army-wide.
This soldier did nothing wrong. She was a licensed medical marijuana user. Her doctor, the one who prescribed and supplied the marijuana to her, is a retired Colonel! It's not like she went and bought it on a street corner and just tried to say it was for medical use. It was a bona fide case of marijuana use being the best treatment for the things that ailed her, and a licensed doctor with military experience, knowing that and acting accordingly. Now the Army is doing what the Army always does, and creating a paper trail to make things look the way they want them to look. It's kind of scary. I remember when I was in high school, and I saw a t-shirt on one of my classmates that said "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." I thought it was funny, but it was only when I joined the Army that I learned that it's actually true! Stupid, stuck in the mud, unprogressive people in large groups can do most anything they want, and they are having their way with this medical marijuana issue. They better not win this one, although if I had to bet money on one side or the other of this case, the only safe bet is the Army, because they pretty much always get their way. They seem to love sending female soldiers to jail for stupid shit a lot in recent years. If they do it to this one, then I'd say they've reached a new all-time low, even for them.
The thing I hate the most is the reaction of so many soldiers. I can't believe everyone is so up in arms about a little bit of pot. I guarantee every one of the ones who's crucifying this soldier has thrown an all night drunken rager of a party in the barracks a time or ten. Honestly, for my buck, soldiers would be better off if ALL they did was smoke pot, and alcohol was the thing that was severely restricted. Taking a bong hit after work isn't going to make you puke all over the Commander's shoes on the company run in the morning, but downing a 6-pack after work is nearly guaranteed to. Any controlled substance can affect duty performance, but if you ask any Vietnam vet, they will tell you without hesitation that the drunks in their unit were 100x worse than the stoners. The Army has this thing backward. If that soldier came in and said, "Yeah, the pain is so bad I drink a fifth of Jack Daniels before bed every night." they would send her to counseling for evaluation for an alcohol problem. Since she said she's a medical marijuana user (and provided official documentation, no less!) she's a hardened criminal as far as they're concerned. What a load of crap. The Army's marijuana policy is an exercise in hypocrisy. This, of course, is no surprise.
I just wonder how long it's going to take the Army to get with the times. My guess? 20+ years.
I've never made any secret of the fact that I support full and unrestricted legalization of marijuana. Medical use is the first step to that, and a lot of states are now on board with this. At bare minimum, the least we can do as a self-professed progressive nation, is to allow people who would benefit from marijuana use as a medical treatment, to obtain and use it without worrying about getting busted by law enforcement just for trying to cope with whichever of the numerous diseases it helps with, that they may be affected by.
The US Army, as always, is far behind the times when it comes to this. I can think of a dozen ways in which the Army generally goes along with the laws of the state any given soldier is in. Most post commanders have their Military Police enforce traffic laws the same way local police do so that there is consistency. Post housing goes along with local trends. Food prices in the commissary are fairly commensurate with local trends as well. This medical marijuana dilemma is one thing in which the Army lags big time, and it comes down to just a couple of things. One of which is, of course, the simple refusal to see marijuana as something other than the 1960's classroom film Reefer Madness portrays it to be. The other is the good old boys' club "because we say so, that's why" mentality that is absolutely pervasive Army-wide.
This soldier did nothing wrong. She was a licensed medical marijuana user. Her doctor, the one who prescribed and supplied the marijuana to her, is a retired Colonel! It's not like she went and bought it on a street corner and just tried to say it was for medical use. It was a bona fide case of marijuana use being the best treatment for the things that ailed her, and a licensed doctor with military experience, knowing that and acting accordingly. Now the Army is doing what the Army always does, and creating a paper trail to make things look the way they want them to look. It's kind of scary. I remember when I was in high school, and I saw a t-shirt on one of my classmates that said "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." I thought it was funny, but it was only when I joined the Army that I learned that it's actually true! Stupid, stuck in the mud, unprogressive people in large groups can do most anything they want, and they are having their way with this medical marijuana issue. They better not win this one, although if I had to bet money on one side or the other of this case, the only safe bet is the Army, because they pretty much always get their way. They seem to love sending female soldiers to jail for stupid shit a lot in recent years. If they do it to this one, then I'd say they've reached a new all-time low, even for them.
The thing I hate the most is the reaction of so many soldiers. I can't believe everyone is so up in arms about a little bit of pot. I guarantee every one of the ones who's crucifying this soldier has thrown an all night drunken rager of a party in the barracks a time or ten. Honestly, for my buck, soldiers would be better off if ALL they did was smoke pot, and alcohol was the thing that was severely restricted. Taking a bong hit after work isn't going to make you puke all over the Commander's shoes on the company run in the morning, but downing a 6-pack after work is nearly guaranteed to. Any controlled substance can affect duty performance, but if you ask any Vietnam vet, they will tell you without hesitation that the drunks in their unit were 100x worse than the stoners. The Army has this thing backward. If that soldier came in and said, "Yeah, the pain is so bad I drink a fifth of Jack Daniels before bed every night." they would send her to counseling for evaluation for an alcohol problem. Since she said she's a medical marijuana user (and provided official documentation, no less!) she's a hardened criminal as far as they're concerned. What a load of crap. The Army's marijuana policy is an exercise in hypocrisy. This, of course, is no surprise.
I just wonder how long it's going to take the Army to get with the times. My guess? 20+ years.
What did ONE cloth diaper ever do for anybody?
I have a lot of friends who are "shoulda, coulda, woulda" or "I want to, but I'm indecisive" about cloth diapering. I always share with these individuals the MANY cloth diaper giveaways that are always happening these days. The cloth diaper manufacturers want people to try their brands, and the way they're getting that done is by sponsoring give-aways through outlets such as Mothering magazine online, and various popular blogs. These things get less than 200 entries each, generally, so the odds aren't that bad, and it costs nothing to enter. Plus, it takes like 2 seconds to do it, and it's always spam-free. You just comment the blog entry the give-away is listed in, and say, "I would like to enter." most of the time.
I'm not even believing what I heard from a couple people regarding this stuff. Mind you, these are people who would do cloth, but can't afford the start-up. "But is it worth it to just enter to win one? One is not enough." Well, no, it's not, but let's go ahead and do an apples-to-apples comparison to everyone's standard, disposable diapers.
If you win one Thirsties Duo cover, and then scrounge up $20 to spend on prefolds, depending on the size of the baby, you could possibly be set to get started in a significant way for less money than you'd spend on a week's worth of disposables. When you consider how much use you can get out of these diapers and covers, you start profiting RIGHT AWAY. Then you can save up what you would have spent on disposables for the next month, buy a couple more covers, and a pocket diaper or two for night use, and you're 100% in business.
Just one diaper, huh? I don't think it occurs to the cloth novice what exactly one diaper gets you. Let's use my own diaper collection as an example. My Bum Genius diapers each get used roughly once every third day. Factor in that Orren has been able to wear them from birth, and that he is 540 days old. That means that each diaper has been used about 180 times. Mind you, they've still got a lot of life left in them! 180's not the end of the story. Say we use them each 250-300 times before Orren potty trains.
Now, if you factor in that 156 size 3 Huggies are $37 at a major retailer (I just googled it), and that ONE cloth diaper can get as much use as roughly twice that package, winning one cloth diaper is like winning a whole case of disposables!
This is also an interesting illustration of environmental impact. One cloth diaper. One. If you throw it away after it's been used for years, diapered multiple children (For 2-3 kids to use the same set of pocket diapers is not unheard of!) and become ripped up and leaky, it is small. If you ball it up, it fits in your hand. It is unobtrusive. It has no chemicals to leach, and it will break down before the children who wore it have children of their own. That one diaper may replace as many as 1000 disposable diapers in the landfill (if it's used for multiple children before becoming unusable). That's really significant. What's more, most simple natural fiber prefold or flat diapers don't even end up in the landfill after their first family's children have outgrown them. They get used around the house for other things, or passed onto other families who still have babies. I know one lady who's used the same prefolds on 8 children so far. You know each of her diapers have spared our landfills many thousands of pounds of waste. The more you use cotton diapers, the better and better they get (softer, more absorbent, AND better for the environment!)
Now you know. One cloth diaper makes a big difference. Not only may it put you well on your way to getting started in cloth, but it may keep half a ton of solid waste out of the landfill before it is said and done. That one diaper may save you $50 or more over the course of time. One cloth diaper makes a difference... especially if it can be used as a cover! Those, you can buy some cheapo prefolds and get 10000 more miles out of them when you're starting off. It all starts with one. OK, for me, it started with one dozen. It USUALLY starts with one, though.
I'm not even believing what I heard from a couple people regarding this stuff. Mind you, these are people who would do cloth, but can't afford the start-up. "But is it worth it to just enter to win one? One is not enough." Well, no, it's not, but let's go ahead and do an apples-to-apples comparison to everyone's standard, disposable diapers.
If you win one Thirsties Duo cover, and then scrounge up $20 to spend on prefolds, depending on the size of the baby, you could possibly be set to get started in a significant way for less money than you'd spend on a week's worth of disposables. When you consider how much use you can get out of these diapers and covers, you start profiting RIGHT AWAY. Then you can save up what you would have spent on disposables for the next month, buy a couple more covers, and a pocket diaper or two for night use, and you're 100% in business.
Just one diaper, huh? I don't think it occurs to the cloth novice what exactly one diaper gets you. Let's use my own diaper collection as an example. My Bum Genius diapers each get used roughly once every third day. Factor in that Orren has been able to wear them from birth, and that he is 540 days old. That means that each diaper has been used about 180 times. Mind you, they've still got a lot of life left in them! 180's not the end of the story. Say we use them each 250-300 times before Orren potty trains.
Now, if you factor in that 156 size 3 Huggies are $37 at a major retailer (I just googled it), and that ONE cloth diaper can get as much use as roughly twice that package, winning one cloth diaper is like winning a whole case of disposables!
This is also an interesting illustration of environmental impact. One cloth diaper. One. If you throw it away after it's been used for years, diapered multiple children (For 2-3 kids to use the same set of pocket diapers is not unheard of!) and become ripped up and leaky, it is small. If you ball it up, it fits in your hand. It is unobtrusive. It has no chemicals to leach, and it will break down before the children who wore it have children of their own. That one diaper may replace as many as 1000 disposable diapers in the landfill (if it's used for multiple children before becoming unusable). That's really significant. What's more, most simple natural fiber prefold or flat diapers don't even end up in the landfill after their first family's children have outgrown them. They get used around the house for other things, or passed onto other families who still have babies. I know one lady who's used the same prefolds on 8 children so far. You know each of her diapers have spared our landfills many thousands of pounds of waste. The more you use cotton diapers, the better and better they get (softer, more absorbent, AND better for the environment!)
Now you know. One cloth diaper makes a big difference. Not only may it put you well on your way to getting started in cloth, but it may keep half a ton of solid waste out of the landfill before it is said and done. That one diaper may save you $50 or more over the course of time. One cloth diaper makes a difference... especially if it can be used as a cover! Those, you can buy some cheapo prefolds and get 10000 more miles out of them when you're starting off. It all starts with one. OK, for me, it started with one dozen. It USUALLY starts with one, though.
Monday, June 7, 2010
A good day trip
We went to Ruidoso, NM yesterday (Sunday). It was nice. I can't wait to go back in the winter when there's snow. It's a nice little ski resort town, which happens to also be very beautiful when it's not snowing. It's green there! There were a lot of nice shops, but it being Sunday, lots of things were closed pretty early, and we spent most of our time playing in the river anyhow. It was really great. We are planning to go back to either Ruidoso or Cloudcroft in a couple weeks, for a little weekend getaway for Thak's 35th birthday! Just one day away from the ugly, dead, dry, brown city we live in was very refreshing.
On our way there, this picture was taken from Apache Peak, which is almost 8000 feet above sea level. There's still a little snow up on the mountain! I believe that mountain is actually where the resort, Ski Apache is. That is a good place to ski. They give a great military discount, and Army Times rated them as one of the top 10 ski resorts in the nation.
Then right after that, it started raining!! Yes, that is real rain on our windshield!! We hadn't seen rain, REAL rain, in about a year.
Then we arrived in Ruidoso! We were walking through downtown, and saw the river down one of the side streets, so we decided to go check it out.
Orren was scared of the water at first. It was LOUD rushing over the rocks!
He wasn't so scared when daddy took him in.
Erin and Orren playing in green grass!!
This field was really pretty.
Erin took this one of me and Thak.
Then we walked around a little more. This is downtown Ruidoso. I'll bet it's so pretty covered in snow!
Then we went back to a different part of the river, which had less steep banks so the kids could get in easier.
Orren had to do it on his own terms. It was still too cold for him, and he needed daddy to warm him up after a short time.
Sissy taught him how to throw rocks!
Looking for more rocks to throw into the river, and enjoying the mud! The mud was fun!
Me and my little boy on the bank of the Rio Ruidoso.
Shortly after this, Orren fell into the river, and Thak had to fish him out. We had to go home after that because I forgot to bring an extra outfit for him. He had to ride through downtown Ruidoso in his stroller wearing nothing but a diaper, but he had a blankie in the car, so he was able to stay nice and warm on the way home. Despite a somewhat rough end to the day, we'll definitely be going back to Ruidoso as often as we can! It was really nice, not to mention 79 degrees compared to the 110 it was in El Paso that day.
On our way there, this picture was taken from Apache Peak, which is almost 8000 feet above sea level. There's still a little snow up on the mountain! I believe that mountain is actually where the resort, Ski Apache is. That is a good place to ski. They give a great military discount, and Army Times rated them as one of the top 10 ski resorts in the nation.
Then right after that, it started raining!! Yes, that is real rain on our windshield!! We hadn't seen rain, REAL rain, in about a year.
Then we arrived in Ruidoso! We were walking through downtown, and saw the river down one of the side streets, so we decided to go check it out.
Orren was scared of the water at first. It was LOUD rushing over the rocks!
He wasn't so scared when daddy took him in.
Erin and Orren playing in green grass!!
This field was really pretty.
Erin took this one of me and Thak.
Then we walked around a little more. This is downtown Ruidoso. I'll bet it's so pretty covered in snow!
Then we went back to a different part of the river, which had less steep banks so the kids could get in easier.
Orren had to do it on his own terms. It was still too cold for him, and he needed daddy to warm him up after a short time.
Sissy taught him how to throw rocks!
Looking for more rocks to throw into the river, and enjoying the mud! The mud was fun!
Me and my little boy on the bank of the Rio Ruidoso.
Shortly after this, Orren fell into the river, and Thak had to fish him out. We had to go home after that because I forgot to bring an extra outfit for him. He had to ride through downtown Ruidoso in his stroller wearing nothing but a diaper, but he had a blankie in the car, so he was able to stay nice and warm on the way home. Despite a somewhat rough end to the day, we'll definitely be going back to Ruidoso as often as we can! It was really nice, not to mention 79 degrees compared to the 110 it was in El Paso that day.
At what cost, and for what noble cause?
Every Veterans for Peace member knows the rally cry, "For what noble cause?" This, of course, is in relation to the lives lost and disrupted by the wars our country has waged within our lifetime. I was reminded of it again today in a slightly different, but really, just a more pedestrian, context.
I don't think any recruiter in all the Army will ever tell someone that the last year they serve will be the hardest of them all, no matter what the previous years may have consisted of. Nope, that 15 month Iraq deployment when it rained mortars every day and your brigade took more casualties in a month than the next nearest took in a year, was not as hard as the last year you will serve. It's a mental game, you see, and it goes for the family, too, at least in many cases.
The reason it's so hard is because there comes a point for every soldier, when the wool ceases to cover their eyes, and they realize that everything asked of them up to this point, has been total bullshit, and hasn't meant a single thing in the grand scheme of their life and the world. Sure, people say "thanks for your service" everywhere we go now, which is a damn sight better than being spit on like our Vietnam Era comrades were. It's empty, though, because really, no matter how many years you served, unless you were in the National Guard at some point, and actually were activated to help during a natural disaster here at home, the average Joe or Jane hasn't done anything to directly benefit the American people. Ask Thak what he's done for the American people, and he'll tell you about filling sandbags at the Red River in order to try to save people's homes, as it overflowed its banks, when he was a member of the Minnesota National Guard. He flunked out of college for all the time he missed to do it (which is why he had to go Active Duty in the first place), but he would gladly do it again tomorrow if it meant he helped somebody. THAT is service to the American people, and when you're Active Duty, there is really none of that.
Sure, you can spout all the neo-con rhetoric you want about keeping us safe from terrorists with all these massive overseas deployments of troops, but really, that end would be just as well accomplished with a few intelligence-gathering special operations troops on scene, and an administration who took the intel they gathered seriously. Our military could better protect us if kept at home, and in truth, is grossly inflated compared to what it should be. I mean, they renamed the War Department as The Department of Defense, hundreds of years ago, right? So why are we functioning like a War Department again? If we truly were simply for defense, our military could be 1/4 the size that it is, and defense spending could drop by about 90% because we wouldn't be sent all over the world to do corporate and political fatcats' dirty bidding every time we turn around.
That's why I say the average soldier these days has not served the American people, through no fault of his/her own, and no fault of most of the American people, of course, but that's just the way it is these days. Of course, most soldiers go through however long they decide to serve, never quite realizing this, and when they do, usually as they're preparing to get out, it's like the biggest reality check in the world. Once you hit that point, it gets extremely hard to put your uniform on in the morning, and go play these people's stupid game day in and day out. You should see Thak these days. He's not the same person I've always known him to be. Anyone who's never served might find these changes in their husband's approach to life a bit scary, but I know he's just ready to be free, and it can't happen quick enough for him. That's one of the reasons the last year is the hardest.
Another big reason is that when you're walking around amid people with blinders on, and you've cast yours off completely, you have a lot of sheeple logic to deal with. (Actually, calling it logic is a gross overstatement.) Anyone who finds out you're on your way out tells you how stupid you are. For a wife, anyone who finds out that you're in full support of your husband's decision to get out, tells you they feel sorry for you, and how lucky they feel that their husband never wants to get out, because the Army is so good for families.
Dude, if the Army is good for families, then hell has officially frozen over. Last I checked, recent studies show that the harmful effects of repeated deployments on children are substantial, and only get worse the older the kids are. Babies born during deployments have been shown to never fully bond with their fathers in a great many cases. The PTSD rate for troops with two or more tours is 30%, and the divorce rate for troops with PTSD is over 60%, usually within the first year, post-diagnosis. The rate of domestic violence in those homes is much higher than the rate of divorce. The Army is GREAT for families, isn't it? If spending every other year apart won't put your marriage in the toilet, get your husband back totally mentally fucked after a few tours, and see how it goes. If your kids are too attached to their daddy, the simple remedy is to send him away for about half their childhood, and then by the time they're teenagers, they can take happy pills just like dear old mom, suicide risk be damned. (I mean, when the only thing that will make it better is to have your husband/father home, and that's NOT going to happen, all the doctors CAN do is drug people. Over 75% of military wives are on anti-depressants. The rate climbs every day for children.)
Oh, and as if that weren't enough, have fun planning ANYTHING. Above a certain rank, your holidays will all get ruined by some low ranking idiot who just had to go get arrested for DUI or beating up his wife, and there goes your holiday. Oh, and not to mention that even on your off days, you can totally be called in for something dumb and pointless that totally could have either been done not at all, or waited until duty hours. Plan a fun weekend away, and it has a good chance of being ruined by some idiot on a power trip who just has to convince everybody (probably most of all themselves) that they have the authority to make people do stuff, even if it's really pointless stuff. Ask me how many times this has happened in the past year alone. On second thought, don't. You really don't even want to know.
The fact is that for every pro there is to staying in the Army, there are at least as many cons. Sure, it's a steady paycheck, with decent benefits, and you can't be fired without notice... even if you do end up getting out unexpectedly for whatever reason, you'll still have months to prepare for it since it takes a while to process discharge paperwork and clear post. There are up sides to the Army. There's no denying that.
The thing is, though, that while pros exist, they cost too much, and the cost is not for any noble cause. If you offered me and Thak a million dollars for another year of our marriage, and another year of our kids' childhoods to be spent without daddy, we would laugh in your face. Time is priceless, and that's what the Army takes from people. I'm sorry, but no amount of money is worth it, particularly not what they're offering. Sure, we're to a place that we are pretty comfortable financially. Most people in the Army (including a great many Company Grade officers) actually make LESS than what Thak does, so most of these people who are telling us how stupid we are to walk away from this shit storm are allowing the best years of their lives to be bought off them for pay I wouldn't dare try to raise a family on, and a benefits package that really isn't as great as many people think it is. It slays me.
I guess it's just that we've given so much, and it's as if it's never enough. By the time Thak gets out, he'll have served 18 years, if you count Active Duty and National Guard time. I will have been in some affiliation with the Army, whether as soldier, girlfriend, or wife, for 10 years. That will be over 1/3 of my life, and over 1/2 of his, but it's not enough. We're stupid. We're weak. We can't take the heat, and need to get out of the kitchen. We're a disgrace to the uniform. We're unpatriotic. These are things that have been said to us by other military people (most of whom have done substantially less than we have) in the months since we went very public with the fact that Thak is getting out, and it just gets more and more common, the closer we get to the end. I think that's the biggest thing the recruiter really should have to tell people. No matter how much you serve, no matter how many tours you do, or how hard they are, no matter how many medals you are awarded, or how ridiculously high those medals are for someone of your rank to have, it will never be enough; And when you get out, you will be regarded as a quitter even if you have given all you have to give to this bullshit cause. The more prepared and premeditated your decision to get out, the more people will reel against you, and wish you failure.
The good part is that with the wool off of your eyes, you can see that they are the ones who are blind, who can't see an inch past their nose, to make real decisions, and see that it's possible to make it on your own, to be free. They are the ones who need Uncle Sam's safety net, and who can't imagine people living without it could possibly be successful, or even ok. They see no difference between the person who's getting out on a whim because his squad leader is a jerk, and the person who's been working toward this goal for years, goes to night school, and should have 6 months of living expenses saved up by the time he gets out. Any rational person can see that one is an idiot who's acting impulsively, and will likely fail, whereas the other has tried hard to set himself up for success, and has just as good a chance on the outside as any other intelligent person.
Thak and I talk about this a lot, and yesterday, he said, "I'm so glad you're not one of those wives who can be bought by a few social programs and tax-free shopping." I replied that I'm glad he's not one of those soldiers who can be bought with empty promises of good assignments that never come through, and the blind faith that promotions get easier the longer you go on (FYI, they don't). I'm glad we both see that Uncle Sam's offering price for our freedom, and years of our family's life as such, is insultingly low, and will not allow our favor to be bought so cheaply, especially since this noble cause they try to sell everybody on, simply does not exist.
Go on, lifers. Keep receiving your paltry compensation for the asinine things asked of you. Keep on believing the line of crap that you're fed about how heroic your "sacrifice" is, and how noble the cause is. I just have to ask you one thing, though. What exactly is it that you think you're doing this for? I know why we're doing what we're doing. Can you say the same with any real certainty?
I don't think any recruiter in all the Army will ever tell someone that the last year they serve will be the hardest of them all, no matter what the previous years may have consisted of. Nope, that 15 month Iraq deployment when it rained mortars every day and your brigade took more casualties in a month than the next nearest took in a year, was not as hard as the last year you will serve. It's a mental game, you see, and it goes for the family, too, at least in many cases.
The reason it's so hard is because there comes a point for every soldier, when the wool ceases to cover their eyes, and they realize that everything asked of them up to this point, has been total bullshit, and hasn't meant a single thing in the grand scheme of their life and the world. Sure, people say "thanks for your service" everywhere we go now, which is a damn sight better than being spit on like our Vietnam Era comrades were. It's empty, though, because really, no matter how many years you served, unless you were in the National Guard at some point, and actually were activated to help during a natural disaster here at home, the average Joe or Jane hasn't done anything to directly benefit the American people. Ask Thak what he's done for the American people, and he'll tell you about filling sandbags at the Red River in order to try to save people's homes, as it overflowed its banks, when he was a member of the Minnesota National Guard. He flunked out of college for all the time he missed to do it (which is why he had to go Active Duty in the first place), but he would gladly do it again tomorrow if it meant he helped somebody. THAT is service to the American people, and when you're Active Duty, there is really none of that.
Sure, you can spout all the neo-con rhetoric you want about keeping us safe from terrorists with all these massive overseas deployments of troops, but really, that end would be just as well accomplished with a few intelligence-gathering special operations troops on scene, and an administration who took the intel they gathered seriously. Our military could better protect us if kept at home, and in truth, is grossly inflated compared to what it should be. I mean, they renamed the War Department as The Department of Defense, hundreds of years ago, right? So why are we functioning like a War Department again? If we truly were simply for defense, our military could be 1/4 the size that it is, and defense spending could drop by about 90% because we wouldn't be sent all over the world to do corporate and political fatcats' dirty bidding every time we turn around.
That's why I say the average soldier these days has not served the American people, through no fault of his/her own, and no fault of most of the American people, of course, but that's just the way it is these days. Of course, most soldiers go through however long they decide to serve, never quite realizing this, and when they do, usually as they're preparing to get out, it's like the biggest reality check in the world. Once you hit that point, it gets extremely hard to put your uniform on in the morning, and go play these people's stupid game day in and day out. You should see Thak these days. He's not the same person I've always known him to be. Anyone who's never served might find these changes in their husband's approach to life a bit scary, but I know he's just ready to be free, and it can't happen quick enough for him. That's one of the reasons the last year is the hardest.
Another big reason is that when you're walking around amid people with blinders on, and you've cast yours off completely, you have a lot of sheeple logic to deal with. (Actually, calling it logic is a gross overstatement.) Anyone who finds out you're on your way out tells you how stupid you are. For a wife, anyone who finds out that you're in full support of your husband's decision to get out, tells you they feel sorry for you, and how lucky they feel that their husband never wants to get out, because the Army is so good for families.
Dude, if the Army is good for families, then hell has officially frozen over. Last I checked, recent studies show that the harmful effects of repeated deployments on children are substantial, and only get worse the older the kids are. Babies born during deployments have been shown to never fully bond with their fathers in a great many cases. The PTSD rate for troops with two or more tours is 30%, and the divorce rate for troops with PTSD is over 60%, usually within the first year, post-diagnosis. The rate of domestic violence in those homes is much higher than the rate of divorce. The Army is GREAT for families, isn't it? If spending every other year apart won't put your marriage in the toilet, get your husband back totally mentally fucked after a few tours, and see how it goes. If your kids are too attached to their daddy, the simple remedy is to send him away for about half their childhood, and then by the time they're teenagers, they can take happy pills just like dear old mom, suicide risk be damned. (I mean, when the only thing that will make it better is to have your husband/father home, and that's NOT going to happen, all the doctors CAN do is drug people. Over 75% of military wives are on anti-depressants. The rate climbs every day for children.)
Oh, and as if that weren't enough, have fun planning ANYTHING. Above a certain rank, your holidays will all get ruined by some low ranking idiot who just had to go get arrested for DUI or beating up his wife, and there goes your holiday. Oh, and not to mention that even on your off days, you can totally be called in for something dumb and pointless that totally could have either been done not at all, or waited until duty hours. Plan a fun weekend away, and it has a good chance of being ruined by some idiot on a power trip who just has to convince everybody (probably most of all themselves) that they have the authority to make people do stuff, even if it's really pointless stuff. Ask me how many times this has happened in the past year alone. On second thought, don't. You really don't even want to know.
The fact is that for every pro there is to staying in the Army, there are at least as many cons. Sure, it's a steady paycheck, with decent benefits, and you can't be fired without notice... even if you do end up getting out unexpectedly for whatever reason, you'll still have months to prepare for it since it takes a while to process discharge paperwork and clear post. There are up sides to the Army. There's no denying that.
The thing is, though, that while pros exist, they cost too much, and the cost is not for any noble cause. If you offered me and Thak a million dollars for another year of our marriage, and another year of our kids' childhoods to be spent without daddy, we would laugh in your face. Time is priceless, and that's what the Army takes from people. I'm sorry, but no amount of money is worth it, particularly not what they're offering. Sure, we're to a place that we are pretty comfortable financially. Most people in the Army (including a great many Company Grade officers) actually make LESS than what Thak does, so most of these people who are telling us how stupid we are to walk away from this shit storm are allowing the best years of their lives to be bought off them for pay I wouldn't dare try to raise a family on, and a benefits package that really isn't as great as many people think it is. It slays me.
I guess it's just that we've given so much, and it's as if it's never enough. By the time Thak gets out, he'll have served 18 years, if you count Active Duty and National Guard time. I will have been in some affiliation with the Army, whether as soldier, girlfriend, or wife, for 10 years. That will be over 1/3 of my life, and over 1/2 of his, but it's not enough. We're stupid. We're weak. We can't take the heat, and need to get out of the kitchen. We're a disgrace to the uniform. We're unpatriotic. These are things that have been said to us by other military people (most of whom have done substantially less than we have) in the months since we went very public with the fact that Thak is getting out, and it just gets more and more common, the closer we get to the end. I think that's the biggest thing the recruiter really should have to tell people. No matter how much you serve, no matter how many tours you do, or how hard they are, no matter how many medals you are awarded, or how ridiculously high those medals are for someone of your rank to have, it will never be enough; And when you get out, you will be regarded as a quitter even if you have given all you have to give to this bullshit cause. The more prepared and premeditated your decision to get out, the more people will reel against you, and wish you failure.
The good part is that with the wool off of your eyes, you can see that they are the ones who are blind, who can't see an inch past their nose, to make real decisions, and see that it's possible to make it on your own, to be free. They are the ones who need Uncle Sam's safety net, and who can't imagine people living without it could possibly be successful, or even ok. They see no difference between the person who's getting out on a whim because his squad leader is a jerk, and the person who's been working toward this goal for years, goes to night school, and should have 6 months of living expenses saved up by the time he gets out. Any rational person can see that one is an idiot who's acting impulsively, and will likely fail, whereas the other has tried hard to set himself up for success, and has just as good a chance on the outside as any other intelligent person.
Thak and I talk about this a lot, and yesterday, he said, "I'm so glad you're not one of those wives who can be bought by a few social programs and tax-free shopping." I replied that I'm glad he's not one of those soldiers who can be bought with empty promises of good assignments that never come through, and the blind faith that promotions get easier the longer you go on (FYI, they don't). I'm glad we both see that Uncle Sam's offering price for our freedom, and years of our family's life as such, is insultingly low, and will not allow our favor to be bought so cheaply, especially since this noble cause they try to sell everybody on, simply does not exist.
Go on, lifers. Keep receiving your paltry compensation for the asinine things asked of you. Keep on believing the line of crap that you're fed about how heroic your "sacrifice" is, and how noble the cause is. I just have to ask you one thing, though. What exactly is it that you think you're doing this for? I know why we're doing what we're doing. Can you say the same with any real certainty?
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
How to get there from here
I found the location where the school Erin is probably going to next year is being built. It's in your standard far-east neighborhood. It's funny. This charter school district seems to like putting their schools in neighborhoods, which is cool, but they always pick neighborhoods in areas of town that are just kind of, well... what's the word I'm looking for? Boring as hell? Cookie cutter suburbia? Yes, that's about right.
I just think it's so crazy that the only places there are opportunities that are anywhere near decent for kids are on the far east and the west. What's REALLY funny about that is that the neighborhoods on those sides of town are rather hip now, but they're mostly cheap, and are going to be falling apart in five years. Then what? Hell, the ones a lot of my friends live in already look like crap, and they're, yeah, about 5-10 years old for the most part. It's like packed in tiny houses with the worst layout ever, which look exactly like every other house on the block. We looked at houses on the far east because everyone raved about living there, but they were so boring, and the layouts were horrid. We had the financial freedom to let our choices be governed by what would work best for us, not just what we could afford, so we chose to live in the Vista Hills district instead.
Honestly, if I have to live in this city, there is nowhere else I'd rather live. We're far enough from the major highways that we don't have the noise or the thru traffic driving down our street, yet we're near enough to them that anywhere else in the city is convenient to us. Our neighborhood has more flavor than any of the up and coming areas do. It's not boring. It's also got the highest Asian population in the city, and we have the best sushi and the best Chinese take-out in the city, as well as an Asian market, within 5 blocks of our front door. Aside from the fact that 90% of our neighbors are 10 million years old (not that that in and of itself is a problem, but it would be nice to know other young families who live nearby) and the schools we're zoned for are abysmal, this neighborhood is hard to beat.
Even though this place is about as good as it gets for this city, nobody seems to put any good schools anywhere near here. There are a lot of private and charter schools in this city. Most of the private schools are in the historic district. The charter schools all seem to spring up in neighborhoods full of cookie-cutter houses that are going to look like crap in five years. I totally wonder why that is. There is so much space in our part of the city. There are lots that are not used, buildings that can be repurposed, and all kinds of other spaces that could become schools, but they don't want anything to do with us. It's weird.
My new task is to figure out what route I can use to take Erin to school each morning, and run into as few school zones as possible, and avoid as much traffic as I can. It's looking like I'm going to have to take Montwood, which could allow me to avoid all school zones (if high schools start at 9 am again next year) since the only two schools I'd have to pass are high schools, but I HATE Montwood for traffic, and people drive like idiots there. If you commute on Montwood, it's not IF some inattentive soldier on a cell phone or some idiot with Mexico license plates runs into you, it's WHEN. The option to avoid that is to take Montana to Joe Battle, which is ridiculous because I'd have to cross two Elementary schools' school zones, or zig-zag through this one neighborhood that's a total incomprehensible maze of streets, and kind of ghetto, to get around ONE of the school zones. The other is unavoidable. We could also take the interstate, then hit the loop, but then it would require us to drive on the loop during commuter traffic, and the loop is the main road from the border. That's a little too much Mexico on the roads for my taste.
I think school might still be in session. I may drag my ass out of bed early tomorrow, and see how bad each of the routes seem, and go from there.
I just think it's so crazy that the only places there are opportunities that are anywhere near decent for kids are on the far east and the west. What's REALLY funny about that is that the neighborhoods on those sides of town are rather hip now, but they're mostly cheap, and are going to be falling apart in five years. Then what? Hell, the ones a lot of my friends live in already look like crap, and they're, yeah, about 5-10 years old for the most part. It's like packed in tiny houses with the worst layout ever, which look exactly like every other house on the block. We looked at houses on the far east because everyone raved about living there, but they were so boring, and the layouts were horrid. We had the financial freedom to let our choices be governed by what would work best for us, not just what we could afford, so we chose to live in the Vista Hills district instead.
Honestly, if I have to live in this city, there is nowhere else I'd rather live. We're far enough from the major highways that we don't have the noise or the thru traffic driving down our street, yet we're near enough to them that anywhere else in the city is convenient to us. Our neighborhood has more flavor than any of the up and coming areas do. It's not boring. It's also got the highest Asian population in the city, and we have the best sushi and the best Chinese take-out in the city, as well as an Asian market, within 5 blocks of our front door. Aside from the fact that 90% of our neighbors are 10 million years old (not that that in and of itself is a problem, but it would be nice to know other young families who live nearby) and the schools we're zoned for are abysmal, this neighborhood is hard to beat.
Even though this place is about as good as it gets for this city, nobody seems to put any good schools anywhere near here. There are a lot of private and charter schools in this city. Most of the private schools are in the historic district. The charter schools all seem to spring up in neighborhoods full of cookie-cutter houses that are going to look like crap in five years. I totally wonder why that is. There is so much space in our part of the city. There are lots that are not used, buildings that can be repurposed, and all kinds of other spaces that could become schools, but they don't want anything to do with us. It's weird.
My new task is to figure out what route I can use to take Erin to school each morning, and run into as few school zones as possible, and avoid as much traffic as I can. It's looking like I'm going to have to take Montwood, which could allow me to avoid all school zones (if high schools start at 9 am again next year) since the only two schools I'd have to pass are high schools, but I HATE Montwood for traffic, and people drive like idiots there. If you commute on Montwood, it's not IF some inattentive soldier on a cell phone or some idiot with Mexico license plates runs into you, it's WHEN. The option to avoid that is to take Montana to Joe Battle, which is ridiculous because I'd have to cross two Elementary schools' school zones, or zig-zag through this one neighborhood that's a total incomprehensible maze of streets, and kind of ghetto, to get around ONE of the school zones. The other is unavoidable. We could also take the interstate, then hit the loop, but then it would require us to drive on the loop during commuter traffic, and the loop is the main road from the border. That's a little too much Mexico on the roads for my taste.
I think school might still be in session. I may drag my ass out of bed early tomorrow, and see how bad each of the routes seem, and go from there.
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