You are a trainwreck.

I've known this person for years now. She's rather fun to hang out with until you look at her wrong and she turns and stabs you in the back. I've watched her do it to dozens of people (in fact, I only know one person she hasn't done it to), and she's done it to me. I keep good contact with her for a few reasons. For one, I'm a little fascinated with the fact that anybody on the planet ever trusts this woman, and I'm trying to figure out WHY. And for another, well, you know who to "keep closer", right? Yeah.

So anyhow, I just have to say it. WOW. What a trainwreck. She makes Hollywood celebrities look sane. It's pathetic that at the age of 41, she swipes clothes from her 15-year-old's closet, and shops at stores like Abercrombie and Fitch for herself. It's bad enough that she tans so much that she looks like a saddle with eyes. It's bad enough that she processes her hair so much in a pathetic bid to look like a different race than the one she was born, and that any "beauty" she may have, is bought and paid for every few weeks.

Lately, she's taken it to a whole new level of trainwreckness, though. She's got this husband, you see. He's about 10 years younger than she is, not the least bit attractive, but fits the archetype of what she thinks is the right thing to be with. It was bad enough when she accused me of trying to steal him (EWWWW!!! He's so ugly and has the personality of cardboard!! Have you SEEN my gorgeous husband?? Why on earth would I want your butt ugly one who's a big jerk, too?? Hell, I don't even understand what YOU see in him.) Anyhow, so being married has been total drama from day one. I've known her since before she was married to this one, and she was still a drama queen, but being married has made it so much worse. First, she insisted that she deserved a bigger diamond (which turned into an entire set) just for being married 3 years, so he got her one, and not six months later, she was hawking it online because she was ready to leave him. At the place where we both used to live, she used to fight with him constantly, and then run home to her family 4 hours away. Now she lives farther away from there, and she's always wanting to divorce this douchebag.

Frankly, I wish they'd just get it over with. She's always ranting and raving about what a stupid idiot he is, and how glad she is when he has to work late or overnight, or goes out of town, and she is always flying to another state to see her "best friend", who's a very handsome First Sergeant, and totally her type. She posts pictures online of them looking at the sunset from this guy's balcony, and he bought her a $500 purse for her birthday. Yeah, they're just friends, though... Everyone knows she's not just "best friends" with this guy. EVERYONE knows it. Yet she keeps up the charade.

You know, I could take this for the entertaining real-life reality show this is if it weren't for the fact that she gets her kids in on the mix. She's always the first one to criticize others' parenting, yet she's got her kids in on her drama 24/7. While I accept that it's her right to be as much of a low-life trainwreck as she wants, dragging the kids into it is just extremely poor form. I was just saying last night (not to her, but to someone who knows us both well) that those kids are going to grow up to make someone's life hell. Can you imagine being raised by THAT??

Yeah... seriously, though. What a trainwreck.