I polled some friends and acquaintances recently, and found that of the moms I know, I am the only one who reads bedtime stories each night (or ever) to a 7-year-old. A great many of them said they never read stories on a regular basis, at any age. More said they stopped about Kindergarten timeframe. It seemed weird to me, you know? Erin likes her bedtime stories. Why would we stop them?
Aside from the benefits of reading, which everyone has already heard a million times, I think the routine is valuable. Life, by definition, is unstable, especially for a kid in Erin's shoes. You move, you change schools, your dad decides to go to college at night and you never see him even though, for once, he's not deployed. You have a baby brother after 5 1/2 years as an only child. You get thrown into a school where nobody speaks English, and while you were the most popular girl in your old school, here, you are severely bullied. You make friends, and they all move away. Life is unstable. Something's got to be predictable. Why can't that something be something nice like the knowledge, "Before I go to bed every single night, my mom will read me a story, maybe two."? It beats a poke in the eye, so to speak.
I just don't know why so many people don't read to their kids. I always kind of assumed that everybody did. I was wrong, though. I did some googling on this topic, and found that in the UK, 87% of parents surveyed in a recent study DID NOT read to their kids at bedtime. In the US, different studies report different numbers, but it is always over 50% that DO NOT. It's just another way we're in the minority. It kind of amazes me that we are, you know. I mean, why would anyone not read to their kids at bedtime? I don't get it. How would you put your kids to bed otherwise? Just send them to their rooms and tell them to go to sleep? Actually, no, according to current statistics, turning on a DVD player would be part of the routine. Gag me.
I do not enjoy children's books at all, yet I read to both kids daily. How freaking hard is it?
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
My little Lema is 7 years old!
Today is Erin's birthday! She's 7! I can't believe it. She's so big now. Time has gone by so fast, it seems like she should still be like Orren's age, but no, she's a big girl, about to go into 2nd grade (probably... we'll see what they say at the big bad meeting with the school principal tomorrow), and just being a silly girl, decked out head to toe in Hello Kitty, Silly Bandz, and anything else sparkly she can get her hands on.
Ten years from now, she will be on her way to college, maybe for fine art, or nursing, or fashion design, or whatever she wants. (And, um, I'll be 38 years old. Yeah, probably don't want to think about that right now!) She is growing up so fast. I can't believe how big she is. Of course, she can. She's sitting on her bench right now, wth her new pink sparkly makeup case with the mirror inside it, putting on sparkly lip gloss, while wearing pink sunglasses. She is awesome.
Ten years from now, she will be on her way to college, maybe for fine art, or nursing, or fashion design, or whatever she wants. (And, um, I'll be 38 years old. Yeah, probably don't want to think about that right now!) She is growing up so fast. I can't believe how big she is. Of course, she can. She's sitting on her bench right now, wth her new pink sparkly makeup case with the mirror inside it, putting on sparkly lip gloss, while wearing pink sunglasses. She is awesome.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
On strollers.
I love strollers. I always have. I love them more now that I can afford good ones, though! I justify it with the knowledge that ALL of our baby gear expenditures, don't add up to what we would have spent on disposable diapers alone, so the best gear is my reward for my days spent figuring out the best way to get poop off of suedecloth, and de-funking microfiber Bum Genius inserts.
Anyhow, I've been researching our double stroller options for when little Chaiyo David or Sirikit Clare joins us, whenever that may be (nope, not giving anyone any clues on that yet!), and we've got so many options it's kind of hard to sort them all out!
Thak likes the idea of a sit-and-stand, like the Joovy Caboose. I like the idea of it, too. Basically, how the sit-and-stand works is that we would have the seat for the baby, and it is carseat compatible, so we'd be able to use it as a travel system when the baby is young. Behind the main stroller seat, there is a bench and also a footboard. This gives Orren his option to sit or stand (hence the name, sit-and-stand), and the bench seat for Orren has a seatbelt also, so we can strap him in if necessary. It is a good long-term solution, and it's dirt cheap, so we'd get more than our money's worth. My only reservations with the sit-and-stand are that its fold isn't all that compact, and it would take up the entire back of my car and then some, and it's bulky, so I would probably hate pushing it around stores. I can see this one for walks around the neighborhood, or maybe the occasional playdate at the park, but I don't think it's my everyday stroller.
Another option we both like is the any Maclaren double. The Techno would especially be good since the seats recline fully, and it's suitable from birth. We like Maclarens since they're really good quality, and compared to many, an affordable option. The thing I like most is that it folds very compactly, and would be functional for me to transport in my car. For that, it would be a great everyday stroller for me. The problems with it are that it's not a longterm solution since Orren will outgrow conventional stroller age, and taking a full double (rather than the stroller-and-a-half sit-and-stand) would be ridiculous after he reaches a certain age. Plus this stroller is not compatible with any carseat, so travel system type of use would be out of the question. Also, it being a side-by-side, it would be a royal pain to navigate through stores or even down the average sidewalk. It wouldn't be bad for a trip to the mall, but is a side-by-side really something I want to work with everyday?
This brings me another awesome option, which is the new generation of strollers. Basically, there are strollers out there which are singles, but have an optional second seat. These strollers take up the same amount of space as a large single stroller, but fit two kids. The best part of all is that unlike strollers that are geared toward twins, as in, they will always be a double, these are geared more toward families who will go from needing a double stroller, to not needing one anymore, and they accommodate that since they can function very well as single or double. The more I think about it, the more I like it.
The first one to hit the market of this new type of stroller is the Phil and Ted's. The first time I ever saw one of these, I was about 4 hours pregnant with Orren, sitting in a croissant shop in Key West, and a French au pair girl (no, I'm not making this up) came in pushing twins in a red Phil and Ted's. I had never seen anything like it. It took up no more room than a single, was so easily maneuverable that she had no issue juggling this thing loaded down with 2-year-old twins, and a large tray of breakfast for all of them, and making her way though a crowded restaurant. It was obviously a very nice stroller. Phil and Ted's was my first choice of double ever since. I love how well it performs, that it's good for many types of terrain, and that you can get one for under $600 with the second seat included. My only problems with this stroller are that the newborn+toddler configuration is a bit awkward for my taste, and you have to remove the rear seat to fold it. Also, the rear seat only takes 34 pounds, which is a problem considering Orren is already 29 pounds, and appears to be in yet another growth spurt. He'd have to use the rear seat while the baby is small, so this could eliminate the Phil and Ted's from contention completely.
Just recently, Britax released the B-Ready. It's a similar style to the Phil and Ted's, but with a few distinct advantages. First off, Britax is an American company, whereas Phil and Ted's is from New Zealand. Nothing against New Zealand, but if there's cool gear from right here in the good old USA, I'm gonna go ahead and pitch my $$ that way. Secondly, this one's newborn-toddler configuration is not awkward. In fact there are MANY newborn-toddler configurations that one could do with this stroller. Thirdly, you don't have to take anything off to fold it, and it folds really compactly, so compact it's hard to believe it's a double! Like the Phil and Ted's, it can be a double or a single, so it's really handy in that way also. The biggest drawback to the B-Ready is the price. It's by far the most expensive of the bunch. The stroller alone will cost $500, then another $150 for a second seat, and yet another $150 for a carrycot (which, I've gotta admit, I'd really like since I'm not sure it's compatible with Peg Perego carseats), and we're looking at $800 for a full setup. We would have a very hard time spending over $650 on a stroller, even a really awesome double, so this may knock it out of contention. The other thing is that this one has the same problem as the Phil and Ted's, as in, the rear seat only takes 35 pounds, and Orren will probably top that before we even have need of this stroller. With this one, it is feasible to keep him in the main seat, but it would have the baby riding really close to the ground, and I don't know how ok I am with that while he/she is young. (Click the red B-Ready on the color list, and it has a lot of pictures of different configurations, including one with a baby carseat in the lower position. You can kind of see what I'm talking about.)
I know which one I want. I really want the B-Ready. I think it's the best longterm solution, and it's a super nice stroller. As much as I hate to sound like a minion for the overhyped company that is Britax, I really do like their strollers. I'm over their carseats since Sunshine Kids has more features I want, but their strollers are outstanding. Plus, I really love that green color! I don't know if it's going to be the most practical one for us, though. If I'm really honest with myself, I think we should go with either the Joovy or the Maclaren, and just suck it up the cumbersome nature of it as par for the course when transporting two. (Well, it will be 3 in our case, but our big girl would more likely be pushing the stroller than riding in it!)
Anyhow, I've been researching our double stroller options for when little Chaiyo David or Sirikit Clare joins us, whenever that may be (nope, not giving anyone any clues on that yet!), and we've got so many options it's kind of hard to sort them all out!
Thak likes the idea of a sit-and-stand, like the Joovy Caboose. I like the idea of it, too. Basically, how the sit-and-stand works is that we would have the seat for the baby, and it is carseat compatible, so we'd be able to use it as a travel system when the baby is young. Behind the main stroller seat, there is a bench and also a footboard. This gives Orren his option to sit or stand (hence the name, sit-and-stand), and the bench seat for Orren has a seatbelt also, so we can strap him in if necessary. It is a good long-term solution, and it's dirt cheap, so we'd get more than our money's worth. My only reservations with the sit-and-stand are that its fold isn't all that compact, and it would take up the entire back of my car and then some, and it's bulky, so I would probably hate pushing it around stores. I can see this one for walks around the neighborhood, or maybe the occasional playdate at the park, but I don't think it's my everyday stroller.
Another option we both like is the any Maclaren double. The Techno would especially be good since the seats recline fully, and it's suitable from birth. We like Maclarens since they're really good quality, and compared to many, an affordable option. The thing I like most is that it folds very compactly, and would be functional for me to transport in my car. For that, it would be a great everyday stroller for me. The problems with it are that it's not a longterm solution since Orren will outgrow conventional stroller age, and taking a full double (rather than the stroller-and-a-half sit-and-stand) would be ridiculous after he reaches a certain age. Plus this stroller is not compatible with any carseat, so travel system type of use would be out of the question. Also, it being a side-by-side, it would be a royal pain to navigate through stores or even down the average sidewalk. It wouldn't be bad for a trip to the mall, but is a side-by-side really something I want to work with everyday?
This brings me another awesome option, which is the new generation of strollers. Basically, there are strollers out there which are singles, but have an optional second seat. These strollers take up the same amount of space as a large single stroller, but fit two kids. The best part of all is that unlike strollers that are geared toward twins, as in, they will always be a double, these are geared more toward families who will go from needing a double stroller, to not needing one anymore, and they accommodate that since they can function very well as single or double. The more I think about it, the more I like it.
The first one to hit the market of this new type of stroller is the Phil and Ted's. The first time I ever saw one of these, I was about 4 hours pregnant with Orren, sitting in a croissant shop in Key West, and a French au pair girl (no, I'm not making this up) came in pushing twins in a red Phil and Ted's. I had never seen anything like it. It took up no more room than a single, was so easily maneuverable that she had no issue juggling this thing loaded down with 2-year-old twins, and a large tray of breakfast for all of them, and making her way though a crowded restaurant. It was obviously a very nice stroller. Phil and Ted's was my first choice of double ever since. I love how well it performs, that it's good for many types of terrain, and that you can get one for under $600 with the second seat included. My only problems with this stroller are that the newborn+toddler configuration is a bit awkward for my taste, and you have to remove the rear seat to fold it. Also, the rear seat only takes 34 pounds, which is a problem considering Orren is already 29 pounds, and appears to be in yet another growth spurt. He'd have to use the rear seat while the baby is small, so this could eliminate the Phil and Ted's from contention completely.
Just recently, Britax released the B-Ready. It's a similar style to the Phil and Ted's, but with a few distinct advantages. First off, Britax is an American company, whereas Phil and Ted's is from New Zealand. Nothing against New Zealand, but if there's cool gear from right here in the good old USA, I'm gonna go ahead and pitch my $$ that way. Secondly, this one's newborn-toddler configuration is not awkward. In fact there are MANY newborn-toddler configurations that one could do with this stroller. Thirdly, you don't have to take anything off to fold it, and it folds really compactly, so compact it's hard to believe it's a double! Like the Phil and Ted's, it can be a double or a single, so it's really handy in that way also. The biggest drawback to the B-Ready is the price. It's by far the most expensive of the bunch. The stroller alone will cost $500, then another $150 for a second seat, and yet another $150 for a carrycot (which, I've gotta admit, I'd really like since I'm not sure it's compatible with Peg Perego carseats), and we're looking at $800 for a full setup. We would have a very hard time spending over $650 on a stroller, even a really awesome double, so this may knock it out of contention. The other thing is that this one has the same problem as the Phil and Ted's, as in, the rear seat only takes 35 pounds, and Orren will probably top that before we even have need of this stroller. With this one, it is feasible to keep him in the main seat, but it would have the baby riding really close to the ground, and I don't know how ok I am with that while he/she is young. (Click the red B-Ready on the color list, and it has a lot of pictures of different configurations, including one with a baby carseat in the lower position. You can kind of see what I'm talking about.)
I know which one I want. I really want the B-Ready. I think it's the best longterm solution, and it's a super nice stroller. As much as I hate to sound like a minion for the overhyped company that is Britax, I really do like their strollers. I'm over their carseats since Sunshine Kids has more features I want, but their strollers are outstanding. Plus, I really love that green color! I don't know if it's going to be the most practical one for us, though. If I'm really honest with myself, I think we should go with either the Joovy or the Maclaren, and just suck it up the cumbersome nature of it as par for the course when transporting two. (Well, it will be 3 in our case, but our big girl would more likely be pushing the stroller than riding in it!)
Puzzling human behavior.
People do things that I just plain do not get. Here are a few:
1) Quoting themselves in text.
You can commonly find this on a person's profile on any social networking site, a signature on just about any message board, or even their own blogs. I'm not talking about things like, "Well, I always say Uncle Sam does exactly what we don't expect." No, I'm talking about when your average everyday idiot writes out their own quotes just like they were famous movie quotes or something. It would take the form of this:
"Stupid is as stupid does."
-Forrest Gump
But it would look something like this:
"Life is a toilet. Flush regularly."
-Joe Blow
It NEVER makes any sense at all, but they always think they're really philosophical and deep. Hint: If you ever feel the urge to quote yourself, resist it. It doesn't end well.
2) Looking for rationalization for stupid decisions.
I often use my various online outlets as platforms for my varios activist causes. Among these would be the environment (encompassing cloth diapering, recycling, organic foods, minimizing paper consumption, etc.), carseat safety, intactivism (working toward an end to routine infant circumcision. His body, his choice.), vaccine safety, anti-war, positive Asian male depiction in the US media, and generally doing my share to piss off the Religious Right, and fly in the face of mainstream sheeple everywhere.
Of course, I expect people to react to these things. It's worth nothing if you can't open people's eyes to stuff they'd never thought of. I totally love it when people see a picture of big tall Orren rear-facing in his Radian, and express concern over his safety. Then I can flip the script on them fast and prove to them that he's 5x safer than their kid who's forward-facing. I LOVE when people try to tell me there are health benefits to circumcision, because every single one has been disproven 1000 times. I love when people bring me their misconceptions about cloth diapering, because I can set them straight.
What I do not love is when people straight-up tell me that they made a dumbass choice, and want me to somehow give them a pat on the back for it. Some girl told me the other day that she's got her 3-year-old in a booster because they'd tried "several" harnessed seats, and none fit. "Several" seats? If she'd said "dozens", then I might have thought it was a credible concern, but several? No. You have to actually do research to find what's good, and the US has hundreds of carseats on the market, the most of any country in the world. Of those, something will work, and in this case, I can even tell you what would without even thinking about it. That kid needs a Britax Frontier like the Vikings need a Superbowl win. Sorry, but I'm not going to sit here and help people rationalize their lack of research. It's not even hard to find these things. All it tells me is that somebody wants rationalization for not doing their homework. They won't get it from me. What they will get is asked if they've tried the thing that's right, and then a reason why every one of their excuses is bullshit.
Look, I don't expect people to be just like me, but don't try to pass off BS as a thoroughly researched decision, while obviously displaying a dire lack of knowledge that even a few google searches would have cured.
3) Talking about how hot their significant others are.
Dude, if this isn't begging for someone to disagree with you emphatically, I don't know what is. Why would you put yourself out there like that? "OMG My husband is so hot!" "Look at my sexy husband!" "Don't you wish your husband was hot like mine??" Dude, no. In fact, if I woke up one morning and my husband looked like yours, I would run out the door screaming like a lunatic.
I sometimes feel like I'm the only person on the face of the earth who knows that my husband is not other people's type. I really don't need the reassurance that he's hot. I know he is, and I don't care if you agree with me. I'm for damned sure not stupid enough to go around saying, "My husband's hotter than yours!" because there's really only one way people reply to that.
Plus, everyone knows Asian guys are hotter than any others, so obviously, out of my group of friends and acquaintances, I definitely have the hottest husband. I jest. See how dumb it sounds? Why the hell do people do this?
4) Being totally ignorant of how their kids really are.
Here's a hint. If your 5-year-old swears like a sailor, has thrown her TV down the stairs multiple times in the past week because she was mad at you, and has a tendency to beat the crap out of her baby brothers, she is NOT anybody's "sweet little princess". She is a brat, and you should fix that as her parent.
Just because your kid performs at grade level by whatever arbitrary standard the people are basing that off of these days, does not mean he is a genius. It means he is performing at grade level by some arbitrary standard.
Am I the only one who has some real view of what my kids are like? Erin is generally good, but can be a bit of a drama queen, and doesn't always follow rules as well as she should. She loves anything artistic, but isn't strong academically. Orren is right on track for his age, as far as milestones go. He's physically very strong, and big for his age. He's fussy and prone to tantrums, and has extreme stranger anxiety, but he is also really playful and fun when he's in the right mood. My kids have good and bad qualities, just like any other human being alive. This is not hard to admit at all. I don't understand why people feel the need to act like their kids are something they aren't (especially the mean little brats who are put up to be sweet and nice).
So yeah, that's the weekly human behavior report. The forecast? Weirdos running thicker than thieves from here to the end of time.
1) Quoting themselves in text.
You can commonly find this on a person's profile on any social networking site, a signature on just about any message board, or even their own blogs. I'm not talking about things like, "Well, I always say Uncle Sam does exactly what we don't expect." No, I'm talking about when your average everyday idiot writes out their own quotes just like they were famous movie quotes or something. It would take the form of this:
"Stupid is as stupid does."
-Forrest Gump
But it would look something like this:
"Life is a toilet. Flush regularly."
-Joe Blow
It NEVER makes any sense at all, but they always think they're really philosophical and deep. Hint: If you ever feel the urge to quote yourself, resist it. It doesn't end well.
2) Looking for rationalization for stupid decisions.
I often use my various online outlets as platforms for my varios activist causes. Among these would be the environment (encompassing cloth diapering, recycling, organic foods, minimizing paper consumption, etc.), carseat safety, intactivism (working toward an end to routine infant circumcision. His body, his choice.), vaccine safety, anti-war, positive Asian male depiction in the US media, and generally doing my share to piss off the Religious Right, and fly in the face of mainstream sheeple everywhere.
Of course, I expect people to react to these things. It's worth nothing if you can't open people's eyes to stuff they'd never thought of. I totally love it when people see a picture of big tall Orren rear-facing in his Radian, and express concern over his safety. Then I can flip the script on them fast and prove to them that he's 5x safer than their kid who's forward-facing. I LOVE when people try to tell me there are health benefits to circumcision, because every single one has been disproven 1000 times. I love when people bring me their misconceptions about cloth diapering, because I can set them straight.
What I do not love is when people straight-up tell me that they made a dumbass choice, and want me to somehow give them a pat on the back for it. Some girl told me the other day that she's got her 3-year-old in a booster because they'd tried "several" harnessed seats, and none fit. "Several" seats? If she'd said "dozens", then I might have thought it was a credible concern, but several? No. You have to actually do research to find what's good, and the US has hundreds of carseats on the market, the most of any country in the world. Of those, something will work, and in this case, I can even tell you what would without even thinking about it. That kid needs a Britax Frontier like the Vikings need a Superbowl win. Sorry, but I'm not going to sit here and help people rationalize their lack of research. It's not even hard to find these things. All it tells me is that somebody wants rationalization for not doing their homework. They won't get it from me. What they will get is asked if they've tried the thing that's right, and then a reason why every one of their excuses is bullshit.
Look, I don't expect people to be just like me, but don't try to pass off BS as a thoroughly researched decision, while obviously displaying a dire lack of knowledge that even a few google searches would have cured.
3) Talking about how hot their significant others are.
Dude, if this isn't begging for someone to disagree with you emphatically, I don't know what is. Why would you put yourself out there like that? "OMG My husband is so hot!" "Look at my sexy husband!" "Don't you wish your husband was hot like mine??" Dude, no. In fact, if I woke up one morning and my husband looked like yours, I would run out the door screaming like a lunatic.
I sometimes feel like I'm the only person on the face of the earth who knows that my husband is not other people's type. I really don't need the reassurance that he's hot. I know he is, and I don't care if you agree with me. I'm for damned sure not stupid enough to go around saying, "My husband's hotter than yours!" because there's really only one way people reply to that.
Plus, everyone knows Asian guys are hotter than any others, so obviously, out of my group of friends and acquaintances, I definitely have the hottest husband. I jest. See how dumb it sounds? Why the hell do people do this?
4) Being totally ignorant of how their kids really are.
Here's a hint. If your 5-year-old swears like a sailor, has thrown her TV down the stairs multiple times in the past week because she was mad at you, and has a tendency to beat the crap out of her baby brothers, she is NOT anybody's "sweet little princess". She is a brat, and you should fix that as her parent.
Just because your kid performs at grade level by whatever arbitrary standard the people are basing that off of these days, does not mean he is a genius. It means he is performing at grade level by some arbitrary standard.
Am I the only one who has some real view of what my kids are like? Erin is generally good, but can be a bit of a drama queen, and doesn't always follow rules as well as she should. She loves anything artistic, but isn't strong academically. Orren is right on track for his age, as far as milestones go. He's physically very strong, and big for his age. He's fussy and prone to tantrums, and has extreme stranger anxiety, but he is also really playful and fun when he's in the right mood. My kids have good and bad qualities, just like any other human being alive. This is not hard to admit at all. I don't understand why people feel the need to act like their kids are something they aren't (especially the mean little brats who are put up to be sweet and nice).
So yeah, that's the weekly human behavior report. The forecast? Weirdos running thicker than thieves from here to the end of time.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Am I the only one?
I don't think kids covered in food are cute. In fact, I think it's completely disgusting. Carseat girl just posted a bunch of pics of one of her kids covered in chocolate pudding. It looked like he had rolled face first in a pile of shit. Why do people think that's cute? Gross. I don't even want to see my own kids covered in food. It's ten times grosser when it's someone else's kid.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Ugh... what do you do??
So I know this girl. I met her here, and she's moved to another post since. She's really nice, and tries her best to be a good mom. As far as military wives go, she's one of the better moms I've seen, with one notable exception. She's the WORST when it comes to carseats.
First of all, this woman sat there and told me how she forward-faced all her kids (who are TINY for their ages) at 8 months old just because she wanted to, and laughed about it. Yeah, lifelong paralysis due to a low-speed crash is a gas, and death of internal decapitation is flat fucking hilarious, right? Here, watch me strap my huge for his age toddler in rear-facing until he's 3 and reaches an important milestone of spinal development. She's commented about how strict I am with my kids for insisting on proper carseat use every time. Strict? I call it informed. The research is everywhere. Those who won't use it are stupid. (Yeah, I said stupid. What else is there to call it when the knowledge is everywhere, and someone does this crap anyhow?)
The problem is that this girl posts all these pictures all the time of her kids in the car. It's like I said before, Murphy's Law of carseats is that those whose kids will be lucky to survive their parents' ignorance (or stupidity as the case may be), take more carseat pics than any other group of society. This is the epitome. I know it's legal (although nobody recommends it anymore) but seeing pictures of a tiny forward-facing 2-year-old is not cute. It's sad. Seeing pictures of a 1-year-old who's well under 20 pounds forward-facing "just like big brother" is even sadder, and also illegal. These, I have learned not to say anything about. People always come up with some bullshit excuse about how their pediatrician said it was ok since the baby's feet were touching the seat back, and he could hold his head up well (yeah, because muscle development totally overrides lack of spinal development??), or something else equally ridiculous. Those pictures are still sad, but people will never listen. They're always in a rush to turn their kids forward-facing.
The last straw was today, though. I saw a pic of this girl's oldest kid, who's basically Erin's age. This one is also small for age, but maybe about Erin's size. As anyone who knows me knows, Erin rides in a high-back booster. Currently, she's using a Graco Nautilus, but usually, she has a Sunshine Kids Monterey, and we're going to be replacing her Nautilus with a Britax Parkway very soon. A good high-back booster is what's appropriate for a kid this age and size. In some vehicles, you can get away with using a backless (although that's NOT ideal at all), but there absolutely must be a head rest behind the child, or else they risk massive spinal injury in a crash. The function of a booster is to position the seatbelt correctly on a child who's not yet tall enough to wear it by itself. The shoulder portion of the belt must go over the middle of the shoulder, and the lap portion must go over the tops of the thighs. Poor belt positioning can cause extensive internal injury. Most people don't know how important it is to properly fit the booster to the child. Its function has nothing to do with being able to see out the windows. It can save a child's life in a crash if it is well-fitting.
Anyhow, this child was in an Alpha Omega Elite, aka, the worst seat ever made. The reason I say the AOE is the worst seat ever made is because it tries to put ten pounds of shit in a five pound sack, and makes cheap ignorant parents think they can use it for something they can't. The shell of this seat is fairly close in height to a Britax Marathon (if anything, it's probably shorter), and it's got these awful hook for the seatbelt on the sides, so that parents get the idea that it can be used as a booster when the harness is outgrown (BTW, it's harness slots are super short, too, and the tallest of them cannot be used rear-facing!!) The idiots gave this thing a 30-100 pound rating in booster mode, so parents think they can put their kid in it for as long as they need a booster, because what kid weighs over 100 pounds by 6 or 8 years old, which is when anyone dumb enough to buy that line of shit would stop using a booster, period.
OK, so the AOE has a super short shell. Orren would be an ideal height for the AOE in booster-mode, just to give you a clue. (Not that I would EVER put Orren in a booster at this point.) This kid who's Erin's age, was in this seat, with the shoulder belt through the top hook, and hitting so low that it didn't even touch the shoulder, and cut across the abdomen in such a way that the liver would likely be cut clear in half by the force of it in a crash. What's worse, this kid's head and shoulders were above the top of the shell. (Apparently this kid has one hell of a torso height.) Now, as previously mentioned, a kid that age NEEDS a headrest. Their bones are ossified enough to ride forward-facing, and they are mentally mature enough to be ok to ride in a well-positioned seatbelt rather than a 5-point harness, BUT they absolutely must have a headrest or they risk massive neck injury in a crash. ANY high-back booster on the planet has sufficient head support, many of them excellent. The AOE, however, has absolutely nothing.
I mean, if you're going to spend $130 on a carseat for a 2nd grader, why would you not go ahead and buy a really nice booster? A Parkway is only $120. A Monterey is $140. You can even get a Graco Turbobooster, which would totally get the job done for $50.
I'm really debating whether or not to say anything to this girl. On one hand, I don't think she'd really listen, and most people get really offended if you tell them they're doing something wrong (even if they would find the same if they ever bothered to read up on important and pertinent topics). I get the feeling that she's one of those "If my kid's ass is in contact with a carseat, they have a magical bubble of safety no matter how poorly I'm using it." moms. On the other hand, this poor kid doesn't stand a chance if they ever get into an accident (and this mom is a self-professed horrible driver), and I wonder if it's my duty to at least TRY to get this mom to run down to the nearest Wal Mart and pick up a Turbobooster to at least give this kid some head support and a properly fitting seatbelt. (Plus, the Turbo comes in awesome colors. The kid would adore it!)
I've got the picture. I'm not going to post it here. Anyone whom I know well enough to share it with knows how to contact me, and if you do, I'll gladly email it to you so you can see for yourself. It will make your jaw drop to the floor.
First of all, this woman sat there and told me how she forward-faced all her kids (who are TINY for their ages) at 8 months old just because she wanted to, and laughed about it. Yeah, lifelong paralysis due to a low-speed crash is a gas, and death of internal decapitation is flat fucking hilarious, right? Here, watch me strap my huge for his age toddler in rear-facing until he's 3 and reaches an important milestone of spinal development. She's commented about how strict I am with my kids for insisting on proper carseat use every time. Strict? I call it informed. The research is everywhere. Those who won't use it are stupid. (Yeah, I said stupid. What else is there to call it when the knowledge is everywhere, and someone does this crap anyhow?)
The problem is that this girl posts all these pictures all the time of her kids in the car. It's like I said before, Murphy's Law of carseats is that those whose kids will be lucky to survive their parents' ignorance (or stupidity as the case may be), take more carseat pics than any other group of society. This is the epitome. I know it's legal (although nobody recommends it anymore) but seeing pictures of a tiny forward-facing 2-year-old is not cute. It's sad. Seeing pictures of a 1-year-old who's well under 20 pounds forward-facing "just like big brother" is even sadder, and also illegal. These, I have learned not to say anything about. People always come up with some bullshit excuse about how their pediatrician said it was ok since the baby's feet were touching the seat back, and he could hold his head up well (yeah, because muscle development totally overrides lack of spinal development??), or something else equally ridiculous. Those pictures are still sad, but people will never listen. They're always in a rush to turn their kids forward-facing.
The last straw was today, though. I saw a pic of this girl's oldest kid, who's basically Erin's age. This one is also small for age, but maybe about Erin's size. As anyone who knows me knows, Erin rides in a high-back booster. Currently, she's using a Graco Nautilus, but usually, she has a Sunshine Kids Monterey, and we're going to be replacing her Nautilus with a Britax Parkway very soon. A good high-back booster is what's appropriate for a kid this age and size. In some vehicles, you can get away with using a backless (although that's NOT ideal at all), but there absolutely must be a head rest behind the child, or else they risk massive spinal injury in a crash. The function of a booster is to position the seatbelt correctly on a child who's not yet tall enough to wear it by itself. The shoulder portion of the belt must go over the middle of the shoulder, and the lap portion must go over the tops of the thighs. Poor belt positioning can cause extensive internal injury. Most people don't know how important it is to properly fit the booster to the child. Its function has nothing to do with being able to see out the windows. It can save a child's life in a crash if it is well-fitting.
Anyhow, this child was in an Alpha Omega Elite, aka, the worst seat ever made. The reason I say the AOE is the worst seat ever made is because it tries to put ten pounds of shit in a five pound sack, and makes cheap ignorant parents think they can use it for something they can't. The shell of this seat is fairly close in height to a Britax Marathon (if anything, it's probably shorter), and it's got these awful hook for the seatbelt on the sides, so that parents get the idea that it can be used as a booster when the harness is outgrown (BTW, it's harness slots are super short, too, and the tallest of them cannot be used rear-facing!!) The idiots gave this thing a 30-100 pound rating in booster mode, so parents think they can put their kid in it for as long as they need a booster, because what kid weighs over 100 pounds by 6 or 8 years old, which is when anyone dumb enough to buy that line of shit would stop using a booster, period.
OK, so the AOE has a super short shell. Orren would be an ideal height for the AOE in booster-mode, just to give you a clue. (Not that I would EVER put Orren in a booster at this point.) This kid who's Erin's age, was in this seat, with the shoulder belt through the top hook, and hitting so low that it didn't even touch the shoulder, and cut across the abdomen in such a way that the liver would likely be cut clear in half by the force of it in a crash. What's worse, this kid's head and shoulders were above the top of the shell. (Apparently this kid has one hell of a torso height.) Now, as previously mentioned, a kid that age NEEDS a headrest. Their bones are ossified enough to ride forward-facing, and they are mentally mature enough to be ok to ride in a well-positioned seatbelt rather than a 5-point harness, BUT they absolutely must have a headrest or they risk massive neck injury in a crash. ANY high-back booster on the planet has sufficient head support, many of them excellent. The AOE, however, has absolutely nothing.
I mean, if you're going to spend $130 on a carseat for a 2nd grader, why would you not go ahead and buy a really nice booster? A Parkway is only $120. A Monterey is $140. You can even get a Graco Turbobooster, which would totally get the job done for $50.
I'm really debating whether or not to say anything to this girl. On one hand, I don't think she'd really listen, and most people get really offended if you tell them they're doing something wrong (even if they would find the same if they ever bothered to read up on important and pertinent topics). I get the feeling that she's one of those "If my kid's ass is in contact with a carseat, they have a magical bubble of safety no matter how poorly I'm using it." moms. On the other hand, this poor kid doesn't stand a chance if they ever get into an accident (and this mom is a self-professed horrible driver), and I wonder if it's my duty to at least TRY to get this mom to run down to the nearest Wal Mart and pick up a Turbobooster to at least give this kid some head support and a properly fitting seatbelt. (Plus, the Turbo comes in awesome colors. The kid would adore it!)
I've got the picture. I'm not going to post it here. Anyone whom I know well enough to share it with knows how to contact me, and if you do, I'll gladly email it to you so you can see for yourself. It will make your jaw drop to the floor.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
I have found the Bigfoot of blogs.
Click here when you're done reading this.
That link above, my fine friends, is the bloggy equivalent of Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and Atlantis. Why? Well, because it is a military wife blog that's NOT full of shit! Amazing!
I swear, I've read hundreds of military wife blogs over the past six years. The one thing they all had in common was that they were full of shit. They all revert to the old cliche crap of the same old tired poems about "silent ranks" and yellow ribbons, and the same old stupid songs that suck (Seriously, SheDaisy owes every dime they made to sappy military wives who insist on downloading the rag that is "Come Home Soon", and inflicting it on everybody they know via MP3 uploads and sappy Youtube vids featuring pictures of their husband, who always somehow bears a striking resemblance to Gomer Pile or Beetle Bailey.) , and the same old things that everyone with an email account has been forwarded 500 times (Does the phrase, "Dear Civilian Girl" come to mind? How about, "The Average Military Wife..."?) Then, best case, these cliche military wife bloggers out themselves as lower-enlisted by bitching very specifically about their husband's boss. (Let me tell you, it is hilarious and maddening at the same time when you figure out it's your husband they're talking about.)
This blog has NONE of that! None! It's honest, it's real, and I actually think I could be in the same room as this girl, and maybe even talk shop about deployments and the day to day BS, without wanting to jam the nearest blunt object into my ears repeatedly. (If you have ever been to an FRG meeting, and have a fully functional brain, you know what I'm talking about. Don't deny it.) No, this girl has an obviously functional brain, hasn't gotten swept up into the garbage, and sees things through somewhat normal eyes, as normal as can be expected of someone whose husband is on the other side of the planet anyhow. I must say, I LIKE it. For once, I identify with it!
So yeah, if you want to know the real deal on stuff, read that. The only thing I disagree with her on is her take on what R&R is like, because it was certainly much different than that for us, but her being a first tour wife, she can't be expected to be an authority. You don't have to be an authority to be real, though, and after six years of seeing a lifetime's worth of false bravado, over-inflated patriotism, and fake smiles to cover up ill intentions, REAL is outstanding. I can't believe it. A good military wife blog. Now I've seen everything.
That link above, my fine friends, is the bloggy equivalent of Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and Atlantis. Why? Well, because it is a military wife blog that's NOT full of shit! Amazing!
I swear, I've read hundreds of military wife blogs over the past six years. The one thing they all had in common was that they were full of shit. They all revert to the old cliche crap of the same old tired poems about "silent ranks" and yellow ribbons, and the same old stupid songs that suck (Seriously, SheDaisy owes every dime they made to sappy military wives who insist on downloading the rag that is "Come Home Soon", and inflicting it on everybody they know via MP3 uploads and sappy Youtube vids featuring pictures of their husband, who always somehow bears a striking resemblance to Gomer Pile or Beetle Bailey.) , and the same old things that everyone with an email account has been forwarded 500 times (Does the phrase, "Dear Civilian Girl" come to mind? How about, "The Average Military Wife..."?) Then, best case, these cliche military wife bloggers out themselves as lower-enlisted by bitching very specifically about their husband's boss. (Let me tell you, it is hilarious and maddening at the same time when you figure out it's your husband they're talking about.)
This blog has NONE of that! None! It's honest, it's real, and I actually think I could be in the same room as this girl, and maybe even talk shop about deployments and the day to day BS, without wanting to jam the nearest blunt object into my ears repeatedly. (If you have ever been to an FRG meeting, and have a fully functional brain, you know what I'm talking about. Don't deny it.) No, this girl has an obviously functional brain, hasn't gotten swept up into the garbage, and sees things through somewhat normal eyes, as normal as can be expected of someone whose husband is on the other side of the planet anyhow. I must say, I LIKE it. For once, I identify with it!
So yeah, if you want to know the real deal on stuff, read that. The only thing I disagree with her on is her take on what R&R is like, because it was certainly much different than that for us, but her being a first tour wife, she can't be expected to be an authority. You don't have to be an authority to be real, though, and after six years of seeing a lifetime's worth of false bravado, over-inflated patriotism, and fake smiles to cover up ill intentions, REAL is outstanding. I can't believe it. A good military wife blog. Now I've seen everything.
Friday, July 23, 2010
We climbed the mountain, all three of us.
We just got back (and ate lunch. I was famished!) from Hueco Tanks State Park, where we climbed the north mountain, all the way to the top. It was awesome. It turns out the Hueco Mountains are holy land for the Mescalaro Apache and Kiowa tribes, as well as the Ysleta del Sur Pueblo, and there is tons of cave art there, which is like thousands and thousands of years old. We didn't go on the guided tour through the best of the cave art this time, but we saw one of the older paintings on the north mountain. The oldest paintings there are from about 10,000 years BC. We didn't get any pictures of the cave painting we saw because my camera batteries ran out before then, but we got pictures of some other stuff. We'll go back soon and take the guided tour so we can take pictures of a lot of the cave paintings.
Here's Erin, doing her first climb. I told her to trust her feet, because our feet always know if a hold is good enough. She climbed like a champ!
One of the views from where we started our climb.
Erin toward the end of the first rock face we scaled.
Me and Orren after scaling the first rock face of the climb. We're ready to conquer this big bitch, and that's exactly what we did.
Erin was so proud of herself every time she scaled another one. I was proud of her, too!
We're going up this rock face, and then up some more.
That's what we found at the end of this portion of the climb.
This is a hueco. Many species of animals live in these things, believe it or not, things like little shrimp and fish. They lay their eggs in it and they hatch during the monsoons when the huecos hold water again.
Here's me and Orren taking a little rest before we reached the top.
Erin near the top.
This ravine thing went straight through the middle of the mountain. It was pretty.
A little bit of view from the top.
Here's Erin, doing her first climb. I told her to trust her feet, because our feet always know if a hold is good enough. She climbed like a champ!
One of the views from where we started our climb.
Erin toward the end of the first rock face we scaled.
Me and Orren after scaling the first rock face of the climb. We're ready to conquer this big bitch, and that's exactly what we did.
Erin was so proud of herself every time she scaled another one. I was proud of her, too!
We're going up this rock face, and then up some more.
That's what we found at the end of this portion of the climb.
This is a hueco. Many species of animals live in these things, believe it or not, things like little shrimp and fish. They lay their eggs in it and they hatch during the monsoons when the huecos hold water again.
Here's me and Orren taking a little rest before we reached the top.
Erin near the top.
This ravine thing went straight through the middle of the mountain. It was pretty.
A little bit of view from the top.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Would you like a commercial driver's license with that?
So for a while now, strollers have been getting ridiculously huge. It's a big pet peeve of mine and of Thak's, so we've made a conscious effort to avoid the enormous strollers that infest the shelves of every major retailer in the US. We did decide to buy a travel system for Orren (although it is duly noted that it did not come as a travel system. We just bought a stroller and carseat that matched.) We got a Peg Perego set, though. It's small enough to not be very intrusive (as far as strollers go), and to fit in a compact car. It's lightweight and very maneuverable. We love our Peg Perego stroller, and also its accompanying carseat when Orren was small enough to use it. I'd say that our travel system, fully assembled, is roughly 1/2 to 3/4 the size of the other monstrosities on the sidewalks and playgrounds.
We saw something at the library yesterday that had both of our jaws on the floor. It was hands down the BIGGEST travel system either one of us had ever seen. Here's the link to it. You can't tell here how enormous this thing is. The back basket is literally about 3' across. If you have ever seen a Peg Perego Aria (like my green stroller), this stroller was easily 3x its size. Thak and I just looked at each other as this mom passed by with this UPS truck of a stroller, and said, "Holy shit! Did you SEE that??" We didn't know whether to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, or cringe at the assholish nature of it.
Yes, I said assholish. I seriously think that the anti-stroller sentiment that's becoming so prevalent these days is due entirely to the size of the things as of late. I cannot even tell you how many times I've wanted to get down some grocery store aisle, or pass through somewhere in the mall, or just walk down the sidewalk, and have been blocked, bumped, or run off the road, by one of these monstrosities. Seriously, the average hispanic woman (and our city is over 90% hispanic) is not but 5'2". They can barely SEE over the tops of these things they're so huge! (Think I'm kidding? I wish.) I'm 5'6" barefoot and frequently wear heels, and even I wouldn't want to try to navigate something that size around a store. It's a ridiculous proposition. I mean, a stroller that could comfortably accommodate someone my size as a passenger is entirely unnecessary. I can tell you for a certain fact that our little Britax Blink, which is what we use when out most of the time (I reserve the Aria for walks around the neighborhood these days), is half the width of the average monstrosity travel system, far less than half the length, more agile, easier to transport, and more courteous to our fellow inhabitants of any given place. I think it's ridiculous to have a stroller so big that it interferes with other people's ability to get around someplace. I mean, how big is your baby? Mine is huge for his age, and he rides very comfortably in his Blink. Size is no excuse.
I have even heard some people say that they want a big stroller because they can afford one, so basically, it's a status symbol. I think these people have it ass backward. All the cheap "Made in China by children in a sweatshop" crap strollers, are enormous. All the good quality ones are much smaller. You want a status symbol? Buy a Bugaboo, a Mutsy, a Baby Jogger, a Bumbleride, a Maclaren, a Quinny, a Peg Perego, an Orbit, an iCandy, a Stokke.... the list goes on. These strollers are lovely, and if you notice, not a single one rivals the size of the delivery truck that brought it.
I wonder how big strollers will be in 5 years. This trend is so out of hand. I seriously don't think they would even fit in a normal sized car anymore. My bet? It's an inside deal between the mass marketed baby gear companies, the auto industry, and big oil. Sarah Palin is probably in on it, too, just because she's evil and likes money a lot. They want everyone to have to buy a gas-guzzling SUV the minute they have one kid.
We saw something at the library yesterday that had both of our jaws on the floor. It was hands down the BIGGEST travel system either one of us had ever seen. Here's the link to it. You can't tell here how enormous this thing is. The back basket is literally about 3' across. If you have ever seen a Peg Perego Aria (like my green stroller), this stroller was easily 3x its size. Thak and I just looked at each other as this mom passed by with this UPS truck of a stroller, and said, "Holy shit! Did you SEE that??" We didn't know whether to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, or cringe at the assholish nature of it.
Yes, I said assholish. I seriously think that the anti-stroller sentiment that's becoming so prevalent these days is due entirely to the size of the things as of late. I cannot even tell you how many times I've wanted to get down some grocery store aisle, or pass through somewhere in the mall, or just walk down the sidewalk, and have been blocked, bumped, or run off the road, by one of these monstrosities. Seriously, the average hispanic woman (and our city is over 90% hispanic) is not but 5'2". They can barely SEE over the tops of these things they're so huge! (Think I'm kidding? I wish.) I'm 5'6" barefoot and frequently wear heels, and even I wouldn't want to try to navigate something that size around a store. It's a ridiculous proposition. I mean, a stroller that could comfortably accommodate someone my size as a passenger is entirely unnecessary. I can tell you for a certain fact that our little Britax Blink, which is what we use when out most of the time (I reserve the Aria for walks around the neighborhood these days), is half the width of the average monstrosity travel system, far less than half the length, more agile, easier to transport, and more courteous to our fellow inhabitants of any given place. I think it's ridiculous to have a stroller so big that it interferes with other people's ability to get around someplace. I mean, how big is your baby? Mine is huge for his age, and he rides very comfortably in his Blink. Size is no excuse.
I have even heard some people say that they want a big stroller because they can afford one, so basically, it's a status symbol. I think these people have it ass backward. All the cheap "Made in China by children in a sweatshop" crap strollers, are enormous. All the good quality ones are much smaller. You want a status symbol? Buy a Bugaboo, a Mutsy, a Baby Jogger, a Bumbleride, a Maclaren, a Quinny, a Peg Perego, an Orbit, an iCandy, a Stokke.... the list goes on. These strollers are lovely, and if you notice, not a single one rivals the size of the delivery truck that brought it.
I wonder how big strollers will be in 5 years. This trend is so out of hand. I seriously don't think they would even fit in a normal sized car anymore. My bet? It's an inside deal between the mass marketed baby gear companies, the auto industry, and big oil. Sarah Palin is probably in on it, too, just because she's evil and likes money a lot. They want everyone to have to buy a gas-guzzling SUV the minute they have one kid.
Tomorrow my kids will climb their first mountain.
Tomorrow, Erin, Orren, and I are going hiking in the Hueco Mountains. Today, I'm getting them ready for it. We got the baby backpack out, and checked it. It seems to be in perfectly good condition, despite being stored for a few years. I put Orren in it to get him used to it. He didn't like it at first, being strapped in especially, but ultimately did enjoy walking around. I think it'll go fine. I'm glad we're doing this now. He's at the biggest setting on all the straps, so if I tried to do this next month, it wouldn't work! I don't know what the weight capacity of our backpack is, but the new ones of the same brand have a 50 pound overall capacity (they don't specify how much can be baby and how much can be other stuff in the gear compartment). Mine is six years old, so it's realistic that it may have a lower weight capacity than the new ones, but I can't imagine it would be less than 30 pounds. Orren's 29 pounds, so I'm sure we're ok.
But yeah, tomorrow, me and the kids are going to climb a mountain, as much of it as we can. I'm just really done with being limited by Thak's limitations, which are the reason we have not done this yet in the year and a half we've lived here. We're not going to do that anymore.
We'll take pictures to post, and should be back by the afternoon tomorrow. We'll be heading to the state park right after Thak leaves for work in the morning, and won't be back in time for lunch, so we'll be eating out there, which I'm sure the kids, especially Erin, will love.
But yeah, tomorrow, me and the kids are going to climb a mountain, as much of it as we can. I'm just really done with being limited by Thak's limitations, which are the reason we have not done this yet in the year and a half we've lived here. We're not going to do that anymore.
We'll take pictures to post, and should be back by the afternoon tomorrow. We'll be heading to the state park right after Thak leaves for work in the morning, and won't be back in time for lunch, so we'll be eating out there, which I'm sure the kids, especially Erin, will love.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
We weighed him again.
Orren weighs 29 pounds. That is 4 full pounds more than the doctor's office got him at yesterday. Thak said it was impossible to keep him on the scale to get a good weight, so that's why it happened that way. I knew he was more than the 25 pounds they said he weighed. I pick him up dozens of times a day. I KNOW he's bigger than that. While Erin was taking her placement tests for school, we went to Target and weighed him on just a bathroom scale. Sure enough, 29 pounds.
This is good, because it means that we DON'T have to fatten him up at all, and that if they can get an accurate weight on him next appointment, they'll know that as well as we do. Being that Orren is 29 pounds, and 35 inches tall, he is in the 84th percentile for weight, and the 97th for height. Of course, percentiles ARE a crock of shit still, but these numbers still make a lot more sense to me than the old numbers did.
On the down side, that means we're now within 6 pounds of the rear-facing weight limit of our Britax seats (35 pounds rear-facing, 65 pounds forward-facing). We still have 16 pounds between here and there on the Radian (45 pounds rear-facing, 80 pounds forward-facing) so we're not going to turn him around full-time before the age of 3, when spinal development reaches a major milestone in maturity since the Radian should definitely get him that far.
We do have a tough decision to make, in the near future, though. We have to decide whether when he gains those 6 pounds (to give you some idea, he's been known to gain 3 in a good growth spurt) we'll turn him forward-facing in the truck, or if we just put away the Britax, and move the Radian back and forth so he can still rear-face in both vehicles. Buying another Radian isn't an option at this point. We have a lot more to do with $300 than adding a 7th carseat to our collection. There are pros and cons to both options. The pro of forward-facing his Britax is that we won't be moving seats back and forth, and can just get a good install once, and leave it. The con is that he'd be 5x safer if he remained rear-facing. He's not even 2 years old. His spine is so immature still. The other option is the exact opposite. The pro is that he would remain rear-facing as long as we want. The con is that the Radian is about the most difficult to install carseat on the market, and moving it from vehicle to vehicle time and time again, we'd risk getting a poor install one of those times, and that would compromise safety just as much as forward-facing would.
I just don't know what to do. Knowing what I know now, I DO NOT want to look in the backseat and see my 2-year-old looking back at me because he's forward-facing at that age. At the same time, though, I don't want to risk a poor install compromising his safety, and every time we install and uninstall the seat, we risk that, especially with a very difficult to install seat like the Radian (and especially with Thak probably getting his hands in it. I do not trust him to install the Radian correctly). I think I'm leaning toward forward-facing the Britax when he reaches 35 pounds (the weight limit for rear-facing in it) and just minimizing the trips he takes in it until he is 3. A good install every single time is job 1. Extended rear-facing is job 2. Any carseat tech on the planet will tell you that. I guess that's my answer, then.
I think we'll probably have to buy a scale so we can weigh Orren weekly or monthly just to make sure he's under 35 pounds. I've heard of a lot of extended rear-facing families keeping a scale by the door, and weighing the kids before they go out, when they get within 5 pounds the rear-facing limit of their seats, since different clothes, shoes, and stuff like that, can make a difference in the weight of the kid in the seat from day to day. You CAN'T, even by an ounce, exceed the weight limit, so when they reach it, you HAVE to either turn them or use a different seat. We need to buy a scale so we can stay on top of this thing.
This is good, because it means that we DON'T have to fatten him up at all, and that if they can get an accurate weight on him next appointment, they'll know that as well as we do. Being that Orren is 29 pounds, and 35 inches tall, he is in the 84th percentile for weight, and the 97th for height. Of course, percentiles ARE a crock of shit still, but these numbers still make a lot more sense to me than the old numbers did.
On the down side, that means we're now within 6 pounds of the rear-facing weight limit of our Britax seats (35 pounds rear-facing, 65 pounds forward-facing). We still have 16 pounds between here and there on the Radian (45 pounds rear-facing, 80 pounds forward-facing) so we're not going to turn him around full-time before the age of 3, when spinal development reaches a major milestone in maturity since the Radian should definitely get him that far.
We do have a tough decision to make, in the near future, though. We have to decide whether when he gains those 6 pounds (to give you some idea, he's been known to gain 3 in a good growth spurt) we'll turn him forward-facing in the truck, or if we just put away the Britax, and move the Radian back and forth so he can still rear-face in both vehicles. Buying another Radian isn't an option at this point. We have a lot more to do with $300 than adding a 7th carseat to our collection. There are pros and cons to both options. The pro of forward-facing his Britax is that we won't be moving seats back and forth, and can just get a good install once, and leave it. The con is that he'd be 5x safer if he remained rear-facing. He's not even 2 years old. His spine is so immature still. The other option is the exact opposite. The pro is that he would remain rear-facing as long as we want. The con is that the Radian is about the most difficult to install carseat on the market, and moving it from vehicle to vehicle time and time again, we'd risk getting a poor install one of those times, and that would compromise safety just as much as forward-facing would.
I just don't know what to do. Knowing what I know now, I DO NOT want to look in the backseat and see my 2-year-old looking back at me because he's forward-facing at that age. At the same time, though, I don't want to risk a poor install compromising his safety, and every time we install and uninstall the seat, we risk that, especially with a very difficult to install seat like the Radian (and especially with Thak probably getting his hands in it. I do not trust him to install the Radian correctly). I think I'm leaning toward forward-facing the Britax when he reaches 35 pounds (the weight limit for rear-facing in it) and just minimizing the trips he takes in it until he is 3. A good install every single time is job 1. Extended rear-facing is job 2. Any carseat tech on the planet will tell you that. I guess that's my answer, then.
I think we'll probably have to buy a scale so we can weigh Orren weekly or monthly just to make sure he's under 35 pounds. I've heard of a lot of extended rear-facing families keeping a scale by the door, and weighing the kids before they go out, when they get within 5 pounds the rear-facing limit of their seats, since different clothes, shoes, and stuff like that, can make a difference in the weight of the kid in the seat from day to day. You CAN'T, even by an ounce, exceed the weight limit, so when they reach it, you HAVE to either turn them or use a different seat. We need to buy a scale so we can stay on top of this thing.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
The world health organization says he's fine.
Click this. It's the World Health Organization's growth chart for boys, birth to age 2. This one is for weight. There's another for height. There are still others for girls, weight and height. Orren is in the 50th percentile for weight, worldwide. Yup, completely average. He's still off the charts for height, no matter what chart you look at, but this one puts his weight totally average. Just as I thought.
I think it's so easy to get bogged down in percentiles. Everyone loves to brag about how their kid is 90th percentile in everything, or whatever. Of course I think it's funny when people talk about how very tall their babies are and they're shorter and older than Orren. (OK, so this is kind of a given, being that he's in the 97th percentile for height. I still find it funny.) So Orren may be very tall, but on the AAP charts (NOT the WHO charts I linked above), he's only in the 35th percentile for weight. This would not be a concern if he was in the 50th for height or anything, but since he's at the very top of the chart for height, and below average for weight, apparently this raises flags, and we're now supposed to fatten him up.
On the way home, I thought to myself about this, and it occurred to me that percentiles are a real crock of shit. All it does is compare you to other people, and what does that tell you about where you should be? Absolutely nothing. Just for kicks, I had my own percentiles calculated, and as it turns out, I'm in roughly the 15th percentile for weight, and the 78th for height. I'm not some freak. I'm 110 pounds at 5'6". 40 years ago, this would have probably put me in the 50th percentile for weight (although probably the 85th for height since Americans have gotten taller over the years). So basically, all this says to me is that while I have never considered myself particularly tall, I am by comparison to others, and not shockingly, I'm also very thin compared to others. Why should it be cause for concern that my son is also tall and thin compared to his peers? I can't think of one good reason why I this should raise a red flag. If anything, I'd file it under "Predictable".
What's more, America is in the midst of an obesity epidemic, one which is affecting children at an alarming rate. Walk around downtown El Paso for five minutes, and you'll see more fat kids than normal ones. Taking this into account, it should be taken as a compliment that our kid stacks up tall and slim next to this lot!
I think it's so easy to get bogged down in percentiles. Everyone loves to brag about how their kid is 90th percentile in everything, or whatever. Of course I think it's funny when people talk about how very tall their babies are and they're shorter and older than Orren. (OK, so this is kind of a given, being that he's in the 97th percentile for height. I still find it funny.) So Orren may be very tall, but on the AAP charts (NOT the WHO charts I linked above), he's only in the 35th percentile for weight. This would not be a concern if he was in the 50th for height or anything, but since he's at the very top of the chart for height, and below average for weight, apparently this raises flags, and we're now supposed to fatten him up.
On the way home, I thought to myself about this, and it occurred to me that percentiles are a real crock of shit. All it does is compare you to other people, and what does that tell you about where you should be? Absolutely nothing. Just for kicks, I had my own percentiles calculated, and as it turns out, I'm in roughly the 15th percentile for weight, and the 78th for height. I'm not some freak. I'm 110 pounds at 5'6". 40 years ago, this would have probably put me in the 50th percentile for weight (although probably the 85th for height since Americans have gotten taller over the years). So basically, all this says to me is that while I have never considered myself particularly tall, I am by comparison to others, and not shockingly, I'm also very thin compared to others. Why should it be cause for concern that my son is also tall and thin compared to his peers? I can't think of one good reason why I this should raise a red flag. If anything, I'd file it under "Predictable".
What's more, America is in the midst of an obesity epidemic, one which is affecting children at an alarming rate. Walk around downtown El Paso for five minutes, and you'll see more fat kids than normal ones. Taking this into account, it should be taken as a compliment that our kid stacks up tall and slim next to this lot!
The appointment from hell.
So we took both kids to the doctor this morning. We figured we'd get them both their shots and physicals done, and while we were at it, get Orren's heat rash looked at, and Erin's ear that she kept complaining about hurting. If all went as planned, we wouldn't have to go back for 6 months, until Orren's 2-year-old appointment.
Well, it didn't go like that. First, we got there to find the waiting room full, which is rare for a morning appointment. Then we see Dr. B going from room to room, trying to find a computer that works, and overhear him telling his office manager that he's already an hour behind, and it's only 9:30. Great. As it turns out, he was right. It was exactly one hour after our scheduled time when we were called. Hey, it could have been worse. Afternoon appointments are known to be 2-3 hours behind schedule, but it's a small price to pay for a doctor who takes as much time as necessary with each patient. (We still try to get our appointments as early as possible to minimize our wait, though, and it usually works!)
So anyhow, before we were called back, we were called to the desk and informed that our insurance would not pay for Erin's physical and shots until after her birthday. Her birthday is 10 days from now. 10 days. We're really gonna split hairs that closely? It's not like she's 1 or something. She's about to be 7. 10 days is nothing. In insurance language, though, 10 days means they don't have to pay, so we said we'd reschedule her check-up and shots, but would still like her seen today for ear pain. They said that was fine, and we proceeded accordingly.
Now, I must remind you that Orren is scared to death of the doctor's office ever since he had to get blood drawn for routine lead screenings at one year old, and had to be strapped down to a board in order to keep him still through it. He fought EVERYTHING. They couldn't get an accurate weight, measurement, heart rate, or anything on him because he fought them so hard. What's worse is that Thak was the one who went with Orren, while I went with Erin, and when I came in to check, he said Orren was 31" tall. I looked at him and the nurse like they'd lost their minds, and said, "Measure him again. He didn't shrink." So she measured him again, and got him at 34", which is shorter than he actually is, but closer, and he was fighting us so hard it wasn't going to happen to get another measurement, so I just accepted it. (Orren is actually 35" tall, which puts him in the 97th percentile for height. They got him at 34", which puts him in like the 80th. Either way, he's still tall.) He's skinny, of course, but we didn't think it was cause for any concern. Dr. B said we need to fatten him up, though. We've got the opposite problem of most families in this city. Our kids don't gain weight easily at all, and we feed them mostly fruits, veggies, and brown carbs, so they're really thin. Dr. B said more dairy, more fats (healthy fats, though, like olive oil or avocado), and do not even THINK of using any reduced fat dairy products with either of these kids. That's the first time anyone's ever told me to fatten my kids up, but I know they're thin, so I can see his point. On the good side, we're nowhere close to outgrowing the rear-facing weight limit on either of Orren's carseats.
OK, so that's Orren. Erin had to get her ears checked out, and as the doctor who saw her in Florida said, she had a ton of wax. I asked Dr. B if we should go to a pediatric ENT for a wax removal, and he said absolutely not. We would do it right then, in-office. He had both nurses come in and tend to it, and it didn't take TOO long. By the way, you would be shocked by how much gunk can come out of a little kid's ear. It was insane. Erin did great with the whole process at first, but after the first few syringes of water went in and out (because that's how they do the wax removal. They put drops to loosen it, then flush it out with water.) she started to get dizzy, and wanted it to all end. Then there were some pieces, which turned out to be the result of severe swimmer's ear, which would not come out, and Dr. B said it was unnecessary to mess with it further at this point. He prescribed her some drops, and that was that.
By the end, Erin was crying her eyes out, begging for it to be over with, so she was glad to get to leave. She was so dizzy that she couldn't walk, and had to ride out to the truck in Orren's stroller. (Thanks, Britax, for a 55 pound weight limit, and a tall seat, on your Blink stroller!) Oh, and a big f-you to the people along the way who thought it necessary to give dirty looks to me and Thak for pushing our 2nd grader in a stroller. Could we have made her walk? Sure. She probably would have barfed everywhere, though, because she was so dizzy and nauseous. Wasn't it much nicer that we could just put her in the stroller, and take her out to the truck that way? I think so.
OK, flash back to Orren now. Apparently the minor heat rash he's developed is getting infected because he's scratching at it a lot, so Dr. B prescribed two creams to stop the itching and clear up the rash. Otherwise, he had to get two shots, from which he seems fine, but of course, totally flipped out at the time. Other than that, I don't really know what else went on with his appointment because I was dealing with Erin, and Thak was dealing with Orren. It was Thak's first time to do a dr's appointment basically on his own, though, so I'm sure that was interesting. At least he and Dr. B get along well, them both being Iraq veterans about the same age, and all.
So yeah, it was pretty much the most chaotic dr's appointment I've experienced since having kids, but it was also the first time I took both kids in at once to actually get stuff done. They always both go, but other than this time, only one was actually seen at a time. This was the first time they both had appointments at the same time. It was very chaotic indeed.
We go back in two weeks for Erin's shots. Actually, she only has to get one this time, which isn't bad. She's still dreading it. Poor thing had to get her ears flushed out this time, and shots in two weeks! At least Orren's good for another 6 months!
Well, it didn't go like that. First, we got there to find the waiting room full, which is rare for a morning appointment. Then we see Dr. B going from room to room, trying to find a computer that works, and overhear him telling his office manager that he's already an hour behind, and it's only 9:30. Great. As it turns out, he was right. It was exactly one hour after our scheduled time when we were called. Hey, it could have been worse. Afternoon appointments are known to be 2-3 hours behind schedule, but it's a small price to pay for a doctor who takes as much time as necessary with each patient. (We still try to get our appointments as early as possible to minimize our wait, though, and it usually works!)
So anyhow, before we were called back, we were called to the desk and informed that our insurance would not pay for Erin's physical and shots until after her birthday. Her birthday is 10 days from now. 10 days. We're really gonna split hairs that closely? It's not like she's 1 or something. She's about to be 7. 10 days is nothing. In insurance language, though, 10 days means they don't have to pay, so we said we'd reschedule her check-up and shots, but would still like her seen today for ear pain. They said that was fine, and we proceeded accordingly.
Now, I must remind you that Orren is scared to death of the doctor's office ever since he had to get blood drawn for routine lead screenings at one year old, and had to be strapped down to a board in order to keep him still through it. He fought EVERYTHING. They couldn't get an accurate weight, measurement, heart rate, or anything on him because he fought them so hard. What's worse is that Thak was the one who went with Orren, while I went with Erin, and when I came in to check, he said Orren was 31" tall. I looked at him and the nurse like they'd lost their minds, and said, "Measure him again. He didn't shrink." So she measured him again, and got him at 34", which is shorter than he actually is, but closer, and he was fighting us so hard it wasn't going to happen to get another measurement, so I just accepted it. (Orren is actually 35" tall, which puts him in the 97th percentile for height. They got him at 34", which puts him in like the 80th. Either way, he's still tall.) He's skinny, of course, but we didn't think it was cause for any concern. Dr. B said we need to fatten him up, though. We've got the opposite problem of most families in this city. Our kids don't gain weight easily at all, and we feed them mostly fruits, veggies, and brown carbs, so they're really thin. Dr. B said more dairy, more fats (healthy fats, though, like olive oil or avocado), and do not even THINK of using any reduced fat dairy products with either of these kids. That's the first time anyone's ever told me to fatten my kids up, but I know they're thin, so I can see his point. On the good side, we're nowhere close to outgrowing the rear-facing weight limit on either of Orren's carseats.
OK, so that's Orren. Erin had to get her ears checked out, and as the doctor who saw her in Florida said, she had a ton of wax. I asked Dr. B if we should go to a pediatric ENT for a wax removal, and he said absolutely not. We would do it right then, in-office. He had both nurses come in and tend to it, and it didn't take TOO long. By the way, you would be shocked by how much gunk can come out of a little kid's ear. It was insane. Erin did great with the whole process at first, but after the first few syringes of water went in and out (because that's how they do the wax removal. They put drops to loosen it, then flush it out with water.) she started to get dizzy, and wanted it to all end. Then there were some pieces, which turned out to be the result of severe swimmer's ear, which would not come out, and Dr. B said it was unnecessary to mess with it further at this point. He prescribed her some drops, and that was that.
By the end, Erin was crying her eyes out, begging for it to be over with, so she was glad to get to leave. She was so dizzy that she couldn't walk, and had to ride out to the truck in Orren's stroller. (Thanks, Britax, for a 55 pound weight limit, and a tall seat, on your Blink stroller!) Oh, and a big f-you to the people along the way who thought it necessary to give dirty looks to me and Thak for pushing our 2nd grader in a stroller. Could we have made her walk? Sure. She probably would have barfed everywhere, though, because she was so dizzy and nauseous. Wasn't it much nicer that we could just put her in the stroller, and take her out to the truck that way? I think so.
OK, flash back to Orren now. Apparently the minor heat rash he's developed is getting infected because he's scratching at it a lot, so Dr. B prescribed two creams to stop the itching and clear up the rash. Otherwise, he had to get two shots, from which he seems fine, but of course, totally flipped out at the time. Other than that, I don't really know what else went on with his appointment because I was dealing with Erin, and Thak was dealing with Orren. It was Thak's first time to do a dr's appointment basically on his own, though, so I'm sure that was interesting. At least he and Dr. B get along well, them both being Iraq veterans about the same age, and all.
So yeah, it was pretty much the most chaotic dr's appointment I've experienced since having kids, but it was also the first time I took both kids in at once to actually get stuff done. They always both go, but other than this time, only one was actually seen at a time. This was the first time they both had appointments at the same time. It was very chaotic indeed.
We go back in two weeks for Erin's shots. Actually, she only has to get one this time, which isn't bad. She's still dreading it. Poor thing had to get her ears flushed out this time, and shots in two weeks! At least Orren's good for another 6 months!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Safety is now affordable for everybody.
This thread on car-seat.org describes, with photos, what I saw at Target this morning. I was thrilled to see it. It's not because I need a new carseat, as I have 3x as many carseats as I have children. It's because so many people say they can't afford a seat that has a high rear-facing weight limit, and now, thanks to the new Cosco Scenera, everybody can. This seat retails for roughly $50, and the new one rear-faces to 40 pounds. The old one rear-faces to 35, which still isn't bad, but the 40 pound limit is really in tune with current recommendations that all children rear-face until AT LEAST two years old, but preferably longer (that comes from the American Academy of Pediatrics, by the way).
Granted, the Scenera is not a dream seat by any standards. It's bare bones, has little padding, and not a lot of leg room, but you know, if you've got $50 to spend on a seat, and nothing more, this one will give you more than your money's worth. Its shell is short, and harness slots are low, but it will get most kids past their 2nd birthday rear-facing, and that's a lot more than can be said for a lot of the seats on the market today, especially in that price range.
Dorel Juvenile Group, which manufactures this seat, should take a lesson from their own experience. They also manufacture the brands Eddie Bauer and Safety First, in addition to Cosco. I find that their Safety First brand is stepping up its game significantly with the Air Protect line. (I almost bought a Complete Air for Orren, but got a Radian instead). However, they still manufacture the truly sucktacular Alpha Omega Elite, which is marketed as a 3-in-1 (rear-facing, forward-facing, and booster), but is completely terrible in all 3 capacities. That same seat is marketed under the Eddie Bauer name also, and is JUST as awful. Dorel is notorious for trying to put ten pounds of shit in a five pound sack, so to speak, but their one true success, the one of the only things they make that has not been recalled, AND doesn't cost a million dollars, AND isn't gimmicky, is the Scenera.
Hey, Dorel/Cosco, maybe you should just stick to making stuff that works. Forget the ten million useless bells and whistles that half the time cause parents to misuse the seat. Forget the gimmicks like something being "the only carseat you will ever have to buy your baby!" because, let's face it, most kids aren't big enough for a seatbelt until they're 9 or 10 anyhow, and NO seat that can rear-face is EVER going to be tall enough to be an effective booster. Maybe you should do more of what you did here with the Scenera, and put simple safety and affordable best-practice in the hands of every family. I think the 40 pound rear-facing weight limit on the new Scenera represents a huge victory for extended rear-facing. For all Dorel's flops and foibles, this is a home run.
Granted, the Scenera is not a dream seat by any standards. It's bare bones, has little padding, and not a lot of leg room, but you know, if you've got $50 to spend on a seat, and nothing more, this one will give you more than your money's worth. Its shell is short, and harness slots are low, but it will get most kids past their 2nd birthday rear-facing, and that's a lot more than can be said for a lot of the seats on the market today, especially in that price range.
Dorel Juvenile Group, which manufactures this seat, should take a lesson from their own experience. They also manufacture the brands Eddie Bauer and Safety First, in addition to Cosco. I find that their Safety First brand is stepping up its game significantly with the Air Protect line. (I almost bought a Complete Air for Orren, but got a Radian instead). However, they still manufacture the truly sucktacular Alpha Omega Elite, which is marketed as a 3-in-1 (rear-facing, forward-facing, and booster), but is completely terrible in all 3 capacities. That same seat is marketed under the Eddie Bauer name also, and is JUST as awful. Dorel is notorious for trying to put ten pounds of shit in a five pound sack, so to speak, but their one true success, the one of the only things they make that has not been recalled, AND doesn't cost a million dollars, AND isn't gimmicky, is the Scenera.
Hey, Dorel/Cosco, maybe you should just stick to making stuff that works. Forget the ten million useless bells and whistles that half the time cause parents to misuse the seat. Forget the gimmicks like something being "the only carseat you will ever have to buy your baby!" because, let's face it, most kids aren't big enough for a seatbelt until they're 9 or 10 anyhow, and NO seat that can rear-face is EVER going to be tall enough to be an effective booster. Maybe you should do more of what you did here with the Scenera, and put simple safety and affordable best-practice in the hands of every family. I think the 40 pound rear-facing weight limit on the new Scenera represents a huge victory for extended rear-facing. For all Dorel's flops and foibles, this is a home run.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Pictures by Erin
Now it's my turn to talk about how my kid is gifted. Here are some of Erin's pictures that she took. She is about the best 6-year-old photographer I've ever met! Mind you, all of these were taken with very simple equipment, just a point-and-shoot camera, and no tripod or anything, and we use a free editing software. She is just beginning, but if she continues this, everyone we know who does photography (professionally or as a hobby) says she has real potential. I think it's really cool.
Erin's first few days back home.
It's great to have Erin back, after she was gone for a whole month. It was good for her to go, and I can tell she's happier now than she was before. I'm glad she got the opportunity to do everything she did this summer. It's good to have her home, though.
Erin's first few days back home have been eventful. Before my mom left to go back home after bringing Erin back to us, we recreated Erin's favorite page from the book Fast Food. Fast Food is not about burgers and fries. No. It's fruits and veggies carved to look like different types of vehicles, and even people. We recreated the train page, which is her favorite. She liked the onion people the best.
She has enjoyed swimming with her brother, and funny enough, he actually didn't mind being doused with water.
Oh, and Orren totally does water slides, too. This was too cute.
Erin's first few days back home have been eventful. Before my mom left to go back home after bringing Erin back to us, we recreated Erin's favorite page from the book Fast Food. Fast Food is not about burgers and fries. No. It's fruits and veggies carved to look like different types of vehicles, and even people. We recreated the train page, which is her favorite. She liked the onion people the best.
She has enjoyed swimming with her brother, and funny enough, he actually didn't mind being doused with water.
Oh, and Orren totally does water slides, too. This was too cute.
Meercats, zoo, and all that.
Here are some pics from when we went to the zoo a few days ago. Yes, they're small this time, but they're still clickable to see them bigger. (Yes, relatives, you are still able to right click and save them big.)
The meercats were adorable. Erin and Orren
both loved them, especially Orren. He cried when we had to leave the meercat exhibit. Actually, he loved all the animals. It was his first trip to the zoo since he was born. (The last time 
he went to the zoo, he had only been conceived days prior. He doesn't remember that zoo trip.) We'll definitely have to take him back there soon!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Carseat debacle, continued.
In trying to figure out our carseat situation, I did a few more things in the name of experimentation. I tried both the backless Monterey and the high-back Nautilus in my car to see how they'd work, or what was better, and in what position. The car is less of a predicament than the truck, because the seats are a bit taller in the back, and there are side-curtain airbags, so the side-impact protection is not as crucial as it is in the truck, which does not have side-curtain airbags, and the lack of a headrest in the middle, I didn't expect to be a problem since it's a taller seat.
I tried the backless Monterey in the middle. FYI, a Monterey booster does not fit very well in the middle seat of a Chevy HHR if it's butted right up next to a Radian XTSL installed with LATCH. (If I did a seatbelt install with the Radian, it would give a little more room.) So I put Erin in the booster, and sure enough, the top of the seat was above the top of her ears! Perfect! Then I tried buckling her in. Because the seat is taller, the seatbelt comes from a higher place, and it didn't fit. It was cutting into her neck. Plus, with the Monterey right next to the rear-facing Radian, getting the booster buckled was a royal pain in the ass (still not as bad as the Nautilus, though).
Then I moved that same seat to the outboard passenger's side position, and while it was a great fit (duh... that's where it always is), the seatbelt was even worse. The backless Monterey was not an option in my car.
I put the Nautilus (as high-back booster) in there. We'd never used it in my car as booster before, only as harnessed, and the belt path wasn't THAT bad. Nothing is as good as the Monterey, but I've certainly seen worse than what the Nautilus gave me in the passenger's side outboard position. The Nautilus is workable, safety-wise, as the backless Monterey is workable safety-wise in the truck. We have bandaid solutions now.
Here's the pickle, though. The Nautilus is impossible for Erin to buckle, and even difficult for ME to do for her, just because of the enormous arm rests, and the sheer enormity and clunkiness of the seat. It practically covers up the seatbelt thingie it's so huge. There is NO WAY I can use this in a few weeks when school starts. I cannot imagine the drama in the parent pick-up line at the end of the school day when Erin would climb into the car, and I'd have to stop, get out, buckle her in, and everyone's honking at me to move my ass. Not cool. Not cool at all.
I know we can probably get the airline to replace our Monterey, which is great with me, but I wanted to get another booster anyhow since I'm pretty set on selling the Nautilus now since it's completely not functional as a booster, and the whole world seems to be involved in a love affair with this stupid seat, so I can probably get a very good price for it, especially considering that it's in excellent condition (or will be as soon as I wash the cover, and restore it to factory settings). There are three boosters I like, the Sunshine Kids Monterey (which we have), the Britax Parkway SG, and the Recaro Vivo. The Vivo is not made anymore (sad!), and we don't have a single retailer in town who carries Sunshine Kids or Recaro products anyhow. All we really have is Babies R Us, and they do carry a half decent selection of Britax. I thought for sure they'd have the Parkway. We got there, and the ONLY boosters they had were the Evenflo Big Kid and the Graco Turbobooster. Gag me.
I put Erin in a Turbo because she liked the color, found that she was almost too tall for it already. It probably wouldn't even last us another year, and with the height of seatbelts in my car, we NEED more than a year of belt positioning unless she has the all-torso growth spurt of her life sometime before 2nd grade is out. Oh, and the Turbo? Holy cheap shit, Batman. I was moving the headrest up and down, and I swear, this BRAND NEW booster was sticking, squeeking, and catching. Plus, it felt disgustingly flimsy. How could anyone trust that to keep their kid safe? Seriously, riddle me THAT.
It was just frustrating. I mean, we have a booster we absolutely adore, and Delta Airline lost half of it. We can't replace it quickly, because the nearest retailer is in California. We looked for our second choice, which was from a very big name brand, very popular, but no... of course they wouldn't have it, because all anyone whose kids are big enough for a booster would ever want to spend is $30, and the Parkway is a $120 booster, so they would never sell around here. Ugh.... The single biggest disappointment about this city for me was that I thought I would be able to find all the things I like, because in a big city, you're supposed to be able to, but this city's so poor they don't have anything here. It's just big, ugly, filthy, and poor, and I won't put my kid in a stupid Graco booster, no matter if the entire city's doing it.
So I guess I need to decide whether I want to order another Monterey (meaning we'd have two Montereys) or if I want to get a Parkway instead. The reason I am considering getting a Parkway is because if we have another baby, I'll need to do a 3-across in my car, and you just can never tell what will puzzle well together. While I'm 99% sure the Monterey will puzzle well with two Radians, or a Radian and a Diplomat (Orren's old seat, the black one), the Parkway is also well known as an easily puzzlable seat, and could be nice to have. I'm trying to get past the fact that the Parkway is quite possibly the ugliest booster I've ever seen, while the Monterey is kind of cool looking....
I don't know. Someone flip a coin for me. Heads, it's a Parkway, tails, another Monterey.
I tried the backless Monterey in the middle. FYI, a Monterey booster does not fit very well in the middle seat of a Chevy HHR if it's butted right up next to a Radian XTSL installed with LATCH. (If I did a seatbelt install with the Radian, it would give a little more room.) So I put Erin in the booster, and sure enough, the top of the seat was above the top of her ears! Perfect! Then I tried buckling her in. Because the seat is taller, the seatbelt comes from a higher place, and it didn't fit. It was cutting into her neck. Plus, with the Monterey right next to the rear-facing Radian, getting the booster buckled was a royal pain in the ass (still not as bad as the Nautilus, though).
Then I moved that same seat to the outboard passenger's side position, and while it was a great fit (duh... that's where it always is), the seatbelt was even worse. The backless Monterey was not an option in my car.
I put the Nautilus (as high-back booster) in there. We'd never used it in my car as booster before, only as harnessed, and the belt path wasn't THAT bad. Nothing is as good as the Monterey, but I've certainly seen worse than what the Nautilus gave me in the passenger's side outboard position. The Nautilus is workable, safety-wise, as the backless Monterey is workable safety-wise in the truck. We have bandaid solutions now.
Here's the pickle, though. The Nautilus is impossible for Erin to buckle, and even difficult for ME to do for her, just because of the enormous arm rests, and the sheer enormity and clunkiness of the seat. It practically covers up the seatbelt thingie it's so huge. There is NO WAY I can use this in a few weeks when school starts. I cannot imagine the drama in the parent pick-up line at the end of the school day when Erin would climb into the car, and I'd have to stop, get out, buckle her in, and everyone's honking at me to move my ass. Not cool. Not cool at all.
I know we can probably get the airline to replace our Monterey, which is great with me, but I wanted to get another booster anyhow since I'm pretty set on selling the Nautilus now since it's completely not functional as a booster, and the whole world seems to be involved in a love affair with this stupid seat, so I can probably get a very good price for it, especially considering that it's in excellent condition (or will be as soon as I wash the cover, and restore it to factory settings). There are three boosters I like, the Sunshine Kids Monterey (which we have), the Britax Parkway SG, and the Recaro Vivo. The Vivo is not made anymore (sad!), and we don't have a single retailer in town who carries Sunshine Kids or Recaro products anyhow. All we really have is Babies R Us, and they do carry a half decent selection of Britax. I thought for sure they'd have the Parkway. We got there, and the ONLY boosters they had were the Evenflo Big Kid and the Graco Turbobooster. Gag me.
I put Erin in a Turbo because she liked the color, found that she was almost too tall for it already. It probably wouldn't even last us another year, and with the height of seatbelts in my car, we NEED more than a year of belt positioning unless she has the all-torso growth spurt of her life sometime before 2nd grade is out. Oh, and the Turbo? Holy cheap shit, Batman. I was moving the headrest up and down, and I swear, this BRAND NEW booster was sticking, squeeking, and catching. Plus, it felt disgustingly flimsy. How could anyone trust that to keep their kid safe? Seriously, riddle me THAT.
It was just frustrating. I mean, we have a booster we absolutely adore, and Delta Airline lost half of it. We can't replace it quickly, because the nearest retailer is in California. We looked for our second choice, which was from a very big name brand, very popular, but no... of course they wouldn't have it, because all anyone whose kids are big enough for a booster would ever want to spend is $30, and the Parkway is a $120 booster, so they would never sell around here. Ugh.... The single biggest disappointment about this city for me was that I thought I would be able to find all the things I like, because in a big city, you're supposed to be able to, but this city's so poor they don't have anything here. It's just big, ugly, filthy, and poor, and I won't put my kid in a stupid Graco booster, no matter if the entire city's doing it.
So I guess I need to decide whether I want to order another Monterey (meaning we'd have two Montereys) or if I want to get a Parkway instead. The reason I am considering getting a Parkway is because if we have another baby, I'll need to do a 3-across in my car, and you just can never tell what will puzzle well together. While I'm 99% sure the Monterey will puzzle well with two Radians, or a Radian and a Diplomat (Orren's old seat, the black one), the Parkway is also well known as an easily puzzlable seat, and could be nice to have. I'm trying to get past the fact that the Parkway is quite possibly the ugliest booster I've ever seen, while the Monterey is kind of cool looking....
I don't know. Someone flip a coin for me. Heads, it's a Parkway, tails, another Monterey.
Man, remind me never to do that again...
So we have kind of a carseat debacle right now. The back of Erin's booster was lost on the flight home, and they haven't found it yet. I've called twice today, but there was no answer either time. Our current carseat options for Erin are her usual booster, in backless form, and one that we used to use for extended harnessing, but is awful as a booster.
The thing that had me confused about these options is that there were holes in every one of them, and I was trying to figure out what the least harmful hole was.
Option A:
Put backless booster in the middle seat. Preferable since the lack of side-impact protection is not an issue. Dangerous since that seat doesn't have a head rest.
Option B:
Put backless booster in passenger's side back seat. Preferable since that seat has a headrest. Dangerous since it's outboard, and the lack of side-impact protection applies.
Option C:
High-back booster that absolutely SUCKS at positioning the belt, and is impossible to buckle. Preferable since it has side-impact protection, and can go in any seat, with or without a headrest. Dangerous due to piss-poor belt positioning.
I will say, for the first time in years, I was completely stumped by something carseat related. What does a carseat nerd do when stumped? Post the question online for more carseat nerds to weigh in on, of course! I went to a popular site for this kind of thing, and posted as a guest. That's what I seriously need to remember to NEVER do again.
What happened? Well, I explained the situation very thoroughly, stated clearly that it's not my idea of a good time to put a kid Erin's age in a backless booster, and I'm trying to find a solution for until the airline finds the rest of the seat, or we buy a new one. Then I broke it down approximately the way I did here, quite thoroughly, and I thought it was pretty clear that I am well-read and conscientious of best practice. That was my aim anyhow.
In response to that, I got the idiot treatment! First of all, they totally told me not to use Erin's backless booster at all because it was probably damaged when it separated from the back. OK, I clearly stated that it was packed separately, so no. That's not an issue. Secondly, they told me that NONE of the options are acceptable, and acted like I was a complete moron for even trying any of them. Third, they all told me to go buy a TOTAL piece of crap booster that won't position the belt any better than the piece of crap high-back booster we already have! Same brand, even!!
Man, I hate how rude the carseat community is. No, I don't want another crappy booster. Frankly, my options are better than most people's. I just wanted to know, officially (as many people there are licensed carseat technicians) what my options were.
Remind me NEVER to do that again. From here forward, I go on gut instinct, and my background in physics.
The thing that had me confused about these options is that there were holes in every one of them, and I was trying to figure out what the least harmful hole was.
Option A:
Put backless booster in the middle seat. Preferable since the lack of side-impact protection is not an issue. Dangerous since that seat doesn't have a head rest.
Option B:
Put backless booster in passenger's side back seat. Preferable since that seat has a headrest. Dangerous since it's outboard, and the lack of side-impact protection applies.
Option C:
High-back booster that absolutely SUCKS at positioning the belt, and is impossible to buckle. Preferable since it has side-impact protection, and can go in any seat, with or without a headrest. Dangerous due to piss-poor belt positioning.
I will say, for the first time in years, I was completely stumped by something carseat related. What does a carseat nerd do when stumped? Post the question online for more carseat nerds to weigh in on, of course! I went to a popular site for this kind of thing, and posted as a guest. That's what I seriously need to remember to NEVER do again.
What happened? Well, I explained the situation very thoroughly, stated clearly that it's not my idea of a good time to put a kid Erin's age in a backless booster, and I'm trying to find a solution for until the airline finds the rest of the seat, or we buy a new one. Then I broke it down approximately the way I did here, quite thoroughly, and I thought it was pretty clear that I am well-read and conscientious of best practice. That was my aim anyhow.
In response to that, I got the idiot treatment! First of all, they totally told me not to use Erin's backless booster at all because it was probably damaged when it separated from the back. OK, I clearly stated that it was packed separately, so no. That's not an issue. Secondly, they told me that NONE of the options are acceptable, and acted like I was a complete moron for even trying any of them. Third, they all told me to go buy a TOTAL piece of crap booster that won't position the belt any better than the piece of crap high-back booster we already have! Same brand, even!!
Man, I hate how rude the carseat community is. No, I don't want another crappy booster. Frankly, my options are better than most people's. I just wanted to know, officially (as many people there are licensed carseat technicians) what my options were.
Remind me NEVER to do that again. From here forward, I go on gut instinct, and my background in physics.
Monday, July 12, 2010
We raise our children right in this family!
We ordered some Vikings fabric so I can make Orren some diaper covers for football season. It came in the mail today, and we were looking at it. Thak said something about the Vikings, and Orren pointed at the Vikings helmet on the fabric, and said, "Vikings!"
I don't think there are words to describe how proud we are. We will remember this milestone. Orren Kiet, 18 months old, said Vikings!!!
I don't think there are words to describe how proud we are. We will remember this milestone. Orren Kiet, 18 months old, said Vikings!!!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
The nut capitol of the world
A little less than an hour from here, midway between El Paso and Ruidoso, is a tiny little community called Deming, NM. Should you ever drive through it, you will know it by the giant pistachio outside of the only store in town. If that isn't enough to tip you off, I'll just let you know, Deming is basically the nut capitol of the world, as far as I can tell anyhow.
I have known for a while about their delicious local pistachios, and have even driven through the part of the area with pistachio groves on both sides of the road. I always seem to miss the harvests, but end up getting a few of the fresh pistachios from friends or in stores here, when they are just newly roasted. They taste amazing, way better than the usual ones you buy in the stores.
I got something else out of Deming today, though. In the parking lot of the shopping center about five blocks from my house, a van was set up with big signs that read "Pinones". For those who do not know what pinones (pronounced "pin-yon-eys") are, they are pine nuts, an important and hard to find ingredient in many dishes, especially pesto. I stopped to have a look, because my basil plants are getting huge, and I was waiting for the pinones van to come back this year before I picked my basil to make pesto. The pinones van came back a few weeks ago, but I didn't have the money to get any when they were there, and on payday, they were gone. Then today they came back!! It was about to rain, so I had to get there fast before they left, but I made it, and I scored a very decent sized bag of locally grown pinones for $10.
If Thak will agree to it, I'm going to buy more of them because we'll probably be gone by the time the pinones van comes back to our city next year. If they're there tomorrow, I may stop again and get some more, just because it's better than buying in the store... Plus, I've kind of got this thing about supporting local farmers by buying directly from them at retail prices. Must remember to get fresh pistachios in a couple months when they're harvested, too. That would be something to sent back home. (Pssst! Relatives, be looking for a package that makes a nice maraca style noise when you shake it, sometime September timeframe. It will be some fresh pistachios from New Mexico!)
I have known for a while about their delicious local pistachios, and have even driven through the part of the area with pistachio groves on both sides of the road. I always seem to miss the harvests, but end up getting a few of the fresh pistachios from friends or in stores here, when they are just newly roasted. They taste amazing, way better than the usual ones you buy in the stores.
I got something else out of Deming today, though. In the parking lot of the shopping center about five blocks from my house, a van was set up with big signs that read "Pinones". For those who do not know what pinones (pronounced "pin-yon-eys") are, they are pine nuts, an important and hard to find ingredient in many dishes, especially pesto. I stopped to have a look, because my basil plants are getting huge, and I was waiting for the pinones van to come back this year before I picked my basil to make pesto. The pinones van came back a few weeks ago, but I didn't have the money to get any when they were there, and on payday, they were gone. Then today they came back!! It was about to rain, so I had to get there fast before they left, but I made it, and I scored a very decent sized bag of locally grown pinones for $10.
If Thak will agree to it, I'm going to buy more of them because we'll probably be gone by the time the pinones van comes back to our city next year. If they're there tomorrow, I may stop again and get some more, just because it's better than buying in the store... Plus, I've kind of got this thing about supporting local farmers by buying directly from them at retail prices. Must remember to get fresh pistachios in a couple months when they're harvested, too. That would be something to sent back home. (Pssst! Relatives, be looking for a package that makes a nice maraca style noise when you shake it, sometime September timeframe. It will be some fresh pistachios from New Mexico!)
Friday, July 9, 2010
The great mystery of the universe...
So it happened again. A local friend of mine (a very nice girl, but definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed) posted pictures on a certain social network of her children in the car. What did these pictures consist of? I'm glad you asked!
To the left, we had a forward-facing small-for-age 11-month-old, which, might I mention, is not only stupid, but illegal in all 50 states. This same one had the chest clip at roughly diaper level (it's supposed to be at armpit level), and loose straps.
To the right, we had a forward-facing TINY 2-year-old (which is totally legal to do, but completely idiotic in light of all the information we have today). This one had loose straps also, and the chest clip at throat level, and all cockeyed.
Both were in hands down the worst carseat on the market. It's one of those that's supposed to be a 3-in-one, but has a super short shell, and doesn't actually function worth a crap in any of the capacities it's supposed to do. It's a horrid seat, and anyone who did any amount of research at all (we're talking five minutes, even) would never put their kid in it just judging by how many times it's been recalled alone!
So yeah, anyhow, this super genius puts the "adorable" evidence of their stupidity (can't say ignorance, because she's been informed of best practice on multiple occasions) in photo form, and blasts it into cyberspace for all the world to see. Holy crap, dude. My fingers were so itchy... I wanted to tell her how badly she was putting her kids at risk, and how idiotic it is to blatantly disregard mountains of research which says that what she's doing is completely moronic. I held back, though... somehow.
My whole thing is this: Why the hell is it always the people who have the worst carseat use on the planet, who insist on taking ten million pictures of their kids in the car. I must say, I have NEVER felt the need to take a picture of my kids in the car on a daily basis. I have carseat pictures, but mostly to show extended rear-facing and extended harnessing, and frankly, I never took those until I realized how many misuse pictures were out there, and decided to show a correct example for once. I've never once thought to myself, "Oh, my kids are so cute in the car! Let me take a picture!" I don't know, man... maybe I'm too busy driving or rockin' out to notice, or maybe it's because my toddler rides rear-facing.
Whatever it is, it slays me. You never see people who actually use carseats correctly posting pictures for their friends to see, that are "just because" pics in the car. When we do, it's always followed by a caption like, "Orren's now extended rear-facing!" or "Look at our new Radian!" It's never, "ZOMG! Mii kidz r so effin cUtE!!!111 lOOk At thIs!!" accompanied by a carseat picture, showing a great representation of everything that nobody should ever do if they have any hope of their child ever surviving any accident.
So I say again, to any random person who may stumble upon this:
-Research your carseat purchases. You can find good ones in every price range. Avoid 3-in-1 seats. Just buy a nice convertible, and then get a booster when the kid hits like first grade. You won't spend that much more.
-Use it right. Chest clip at armpit level, straps tight enough that you can't pinch any at shoulder level. Straps coming from at or below shoulder level for rear-facing, at or above for forward.
-The absolutely bare bones minimum standard of the law for forward-facing is one year AND 20 pounds. But you know, I want to ask you this. Is the bare minimum required by law good enough for your kid? It's not good enough for mine. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends leaving children rear-facing until the limit of their seat. All seats on the US market today rear-face to AT LEAST 35 pounds.
-Most states do not have a harnessing requirement, but rather a proper use clause in their general law which states that you must use SOME kind of carseat until a certain combination of age, and weight or height. (In Texas, it's 8 years OR 4'9". Many other states have 8 years OR 80 pounds.) This does not mean it is wise to put your 30 pound 3-year-old into a booster, although many are rated for that age/weight. Maturity is a major factor in readiness for booster use, and most kids are not ready for that until close to 6 years old. How hard is it to harness anyhow? I mean, one way or another, you've got to strap your kid in. A 5-point for your little kid takes like 2 extra seconds beyond what a seatbelt would. Is your kid's life worth that tiny amount of extra time?
-No child who cannot pass the 5-step test for seatbelt use should ride without a booster.
- "We survived!" is NOT a valid excuse for being haphazard and ignoring the laws of physics as they pertain to your child's safety.
To the left, we had a forward-facing small-for-age 11-month-old, which, might I mention, is not only stupid, but illegal in all 50 states. This same one had the chest clip at roughly diaper level (it's supposed to be at armpit level), and loose straps.
To the right, we had a forward-facing TINY 2-year-old (which is totally legal to do, but completely idiotic in light of all the information we have today). This one had loose straps also, and the chest clip at throat level, and all cockeyed.
Both were in hands down the worst carseat on the market. It's one of those that's supposed to be a 3-in-one, but has a super short shell, and doesn't actually function worth a crap in any of the capacities it's supposed to do. It's a horrid seat, and anyone who did any amount of research at all (we're talking five minutes, even) would never put their kid in it just judging by how many times it's been recalled alone!
So yeah, anyhow, this super genius puts the "adorable" evidence of their stupidity (can't say ignorance, because she's been informed of best practice on multiple occasions) in photo form, and blasts it into cyberspace for all the world to see. Holy crap, dude. My fingers were so itchy... I wanted to tell her how badly she was putting her kids at risk, and how idiotic it is to blatantly disregard mountains of research which says that what she's doing is completely moronic. I held back, though... somehow.
My whole thing is this: Why the hell is it always the people who have the worst carseat use on the planet, who insist on taking ten million pictures of their kids in the car. I must say, I have NEVER felt the need to take a picture of my kids in the car on a daily basis. I have carseat pictures, but mostly to show extended rear-facing and extended harnessing, and frankly, I never took those until I realized how many misuse pictures were out there, and decided to show a correct example for once. I've never once thought to myself, "Oh, my kids are so cute in the car! Let me take a picture!" I don't know, man... maybe I'm too busy driving or rockin' out to notice, or maybe it's because my toddler rides rear-facing.
Whatever it is, it slays me. You never see people who actually use carseats correctly posting pictures for their friends to see, that are "just because" pics in the car. When we do, it's always followed by a caption like, "Orren's now extended rear-facing!" or "Look at our new Radian!" It's never, "ZOMG! Mii kidz r so effin cUtE!!!111 lOOk At thIs!!" accompanied by a carseat picture, showing a great representation of everything that nobody should ever do if they have any hope of their child ever surviving any accident.
So I say again, to any random person who may stumble upon this:
-Research your carseat purchases. You can find good ones in every price range. Avoid 3-in-1 seats. Just buy a nice convertible, and then get a booster when the kid hits like first grade. You won't spend that much more.
-Use it right. Chest clip at armpit level, straps tight enough that you can't pinch any at shoulder level. Straps coming from at or below shoulder level for rear-facing, at or above for forward.
-The absolutely bare bones minimum standard of the law for forward-facing is one year AND 20 pounds. But you know, I want to ask you this. Is the bare minimum required by law good enough for your kid? It's not good enough for mine. Even the American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends leaving children rear-facing until the limit of their seat. All seats on the US market today rear-face to AT LEAST 35 pounds.
-Most states do not have a harnessing requirement, but rather a proper use clause in their general law which states that you must use SOME kind of carseat until a certain combination of age, and weight or height. (In Texas, it's 8 years OR 4'9". Many other states have 8 years OR 80 pounds.) This does not mean it is wise to put your 30 pound 3-year-old into a booster, although many are rated for that age/weight. Maturity is a major factor in readiness for booster use, and most kids are not ready for that until close to 6 years old. How hard is it to harness anyhow? I mean, one way or another, you've got to strap your kid in. A 5-point for your little kid takes like 2 extra seconds beyond what a seatbelt would. Is your kid's life worth that tiny amount of extra time?
-No child who cannot pass the 5-step test for seatbelt use should ride without a booster.
- "We survived!" is NOT a valid excuse for being haphazard and ignoring the laws of physics as they pertain to your child's safety.
2 years!
So I forgot to post about it yesterday, but it was a very important day. Thak has been home from his 3rd tour in Iraq for 2 years! That's a first. We've never had two years between deployments. We've never had two years to just be together. Considering we've been together for about seven years, that's saying something. Had we stayed at Ft. Stewart (which wasn't an option after Thak's promotion), we'd be midway through his 4th tour by now, but we came here, and there are no orders anywhere on the horizon.
I often hear this statistic bantered about among senior wives, but I have no idea where it comes from. Apparently, many people in a position to study this type of thing, say that it usually takes 2 years to get back to normal after a 1 year deployment. That's probably why the Secretary of the Army used to say we got 12 months of deployment for 24 months of dwell time, but as everyone knows, when we were at Ft. Stewart, they openly changed that to 15 months of deployment for 12 months of dwell time. Of course, most of that dwell time is spent preparing for the next deployment, so you never really get off the hamster wheel. It is a very hopeless way to live when they cut orders for the next deployment before the current one even ends. Basically, the thing that stands out, and actually makes a lot of sense to me, is that by that rule of thumb that the senior wives love to talk about, those of us who have really done the work of the Army during the war's ugliest years didn't even have time to actually recoup from one deployment before being thrown right into another. (Anyone want to guess why divorce lawyer is the most lucrative profession, other than bar owner, in the area surrounding Ft. Stewart?)
While we really hate Ft. Bliss, and often wonder if a 4th tour actually would have been BETTER than coming here, it is lovely (although a little surreal) to watch the deployment rotation roll along as it always has, and have it include people who aren't us. We've done ours (and probably a few other people's, too), and finally, they're leaving us alone... well, for the most part. Two years out, it's different than it was a year out. The panic is gone. It's like, we can almost believe that we won't be going through that again any minute. I don't think we'll actually fully believe it until Thak is out of the Army, and it's almost believable now. We actually try to plan things now without banking on Thak not being here soon.
Two years out. That's outstanding. I can't wait until it's like 10 years out, and we won't even remember half this shit anymore.
I often hear this statistic bantered about among senior wives, but I have no idea where it comes from. Apparently, many people in a position to study this type of thing, say that it usually takes 2 years to get back to normal after a 1 year deployment. That's probably why the Secretary of the Army used to say we got 12 months of deployment for 24 months of dwell time, but as everyone knows, when we were at Ft. Stewart, they openly changed that to 15 months of deployment for 12 months of dwell time. Of course, most of that dwell time is spent preparing for the next deployment, so you never really get off the hamster wheel. It is a very hopeless way to live when they cut orders for the next deployment before the current one even ends. Basically, the thing that stands out, and actually makes a lot of sense to me, is that by that rule of thumb that the senior wives love to talk about, those of us who have really done the work of the Army during the war's ugliest years didn't even have time to actually recoup from one deployment before being thrown right into another. (Anyone want to guess why divorce lawyer is the most lucrative profession, other than bar owner, in the area surrounding Ft. Stewart?)
While we really hate Ft. Bliss, and often wonder if a 4th tour actually would have been BETTER than coming here, it is lovely (although a little surreal) to watch the deployment rotation roll along as it always has, and have it include people who aren't us. We've done ours (and probably a few other people's, too), and finally, they're leaving us alone... well, for the most part. Two years out, it's different than it was a year out. The panic is gone. It's like, we can almost believe that we won't be going through that again any minute. I don't think we'll actually fully believe it until Thak is out of the Army, and it's almost believable now. We actually try to plan things now without banking on Thak not being here soon.
Two years out. That's outstanding. I can't wait until it's like 10 years out, and we won't even remember half this shit anymore.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Dude... what?
So I joined this one parenting community that was suggested to me by a friend (who's not local for me at this time! BOOOO!) because it would have less of the stupid BS, and there are a lot of people there who are kind of like us (meaning, not idiots).
I will say, that site is nice. There are some very intelligent people there, and people who fall in line with what I like. It was nice to be able to discuss things and not get all the stupid myths about cloth diapering thrown in my face, or told that organic food is a hoax, or told that I'm harming my son by rear-facing him in the car at 18 months. There's just enough military presence there, but not so much that it could ever be considered a military board, and there are even other prior service moms! It seemed so cool.
The today, I received this (and I'm paraphrasing, as it was much longer):
"We are a family website, and need you to edit your language in the post I'm linking. We do not allow foul language here."
You may wonder what the offending word was. It was pr0n. Yeah, as in porn spelled wrong. It was a legitimate post, which was very relevant to the conversation. Nobody was offended. You have to be an adult to join the site, so um, seriously? We need a language censor? You must be kidding me.
My friend did warn me of a religious right element to that community, and before this, I hadn't seen it. I guess I was having too much fun bantering back and forth with the cool moms, who run the gamut from heavily tattooed and gothic, to rockabilly chemists, to cutoff jeans wearing rednecks. I hadn't even encountered any of the ones my friend had warned me about being there, and being like a crazy shadow over everyone's shoulder, and it took about half a year, but I guess I have now. Somehow, this community doesn't seem half as cool as it used to. I mean, I just got my ass (oops...) chewed for saying the word porn spelled wrong (which is kind of a running joke with a lot of- kind of nerdy- people and has been for years).
I guess I just have a real dislike for Big Brother kind of stuff. I know, nothing put online is ever private, and it's all public information. That in itself doesn't bother me at all, as I see it very similarly to interactions in a public place being public knowledge to anyone else in that place. What bothers me is when people try to tell me what I can put out and what I can't when I haven't harmed anybody. This thing is minor, and I'm definitely not going to raise any stink about it, but it was indicative of a certain mentality that I do not jive with at all, and has definitely colored my opinion of a certain community. I intensely dislike censorship and I always have. I think adults can take what's out there, and deal with it for themselves. I cannot imagine being so weak that you cannot stand to read anything but squeaky clean things, or else it ruins your day. Honestly, I think people like that need to get off their high horses and join the real world on at least a part-time basis.
Have I mentioned recently how the religious right scares the bejeebuz out of me? They really do. It amazes me that these people breed like rats, yet have the most outdated views of anybody I've ever seen. It's like, all the progressive people have 0-3 kids, and these crazy fools have like 4-10. Come to think of it, that's probably got a whole lot to do with how we got to the point we're at today....
I will say, that site is nice. There are some very intelligent people there, and people who fall in line with what I like. It was nice to be able to discuss things and not get all the stupid myths about cloth diapering thrown in my face, or told that organic food is a hoax, or told that I'm harming my son by rear-facing him in the car at 18 months. There's just enough military presence there, but not so much that it could ever be considered a military board, and there are even other prior service moms! It seemed so cool.
The today, I received this (and I'm paraphrasing, as it was much longer):
"We are a family website, and need you to edit your language in the post I'm linking. We do not allow foul language here."
You may wonder what the offending word was. It was pr0n. Yeah, as in porn spelled wrong. It was a legitimate post, which was very relevant to the conversation. Nobody was offended. You have to be an adult to join the site, so um, seriously? We need a language censor? You must be kidding me.
My friend did warn me of a religious right element to that community, and before this, I hadn't seen it. I guess I was having too much fun bantering back and forth with the cool moms, who run the gamut from heavily tattooed and gothic, to rockabilly chemists, to cutoff jeans wearing rednecks. I hadn't even encountered any of the ones my friend had warned me about being there, and being like a crazy shadow over everyone's shoulder, and it took about half a year, but I guess I have now. Somehow, this community doesn't seem half as cool as it used to. I mean, I just got my ass (oops...) chewed for saying the word porn spelled wrong (which is kind of a running joke with a lot of- kind of nerdy- people and has been for years).
I guess I just have a real dislike for Big Brother kind of stuff. I know, nothing put online is ever private, and it's all public information. That in itself doesn't bother me at all, as I see it very similarly to interactions in a public place being public knowledge to anyone else in that place. What bothers me is when people try to tell me what I can put out and what I can't when I haven't harmed anybody. This thing is minor, and I'm definitely not going to raise any stink about it, but it was indicative of a certain mentality that I do not jive with at all, and has definitely colored my opinion of a certain community. I intensely dislike censorship and I always have. I think adults can take what's out there, and deal with it for themselves. I cannot imagine being so weak that you cannot stand to read anything but squeaky clean things, or else it ruins your day. Honestly, I think people like that need to get off their high horses and join the real world on at least a part-time basis.
Have I mentioned recently how the religious right scares the bejeebuz out of me? They really do. It amazes me that these people breed like rats, yet have the most outdated views of anybody I've ever seen. It's like, all the progressive people have 0-3 kids, and these crazy fools have like 4-10. Come to think of it, that's probably got a whole lot to do with how we got to the point we're at today....
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Could it be that WE are the lucky ones now?
Many of our friends are deploying this week. Of course, had we stayed at Ft. Stewart, Thak would be roughly halfway through his 4th tour right now. The fact is, though, we did not stay at Ft. Stewart (it wasn't an option), and Thak's new unit has no orders anywhere on the horizon. Three tours is all there were and will be for us, and in my opinion, it's two too many, but what's done is done. At least we can say with honesty that when our country called, we answered, and made no attempt to hide like cowards (you would be surprised how many people within this very Army cannot say the same).
Day after tomorrow, Thak will have been home from his 3rd tour in Iraq for two years. We have never had two consecutive years without a deployment, or something really big and stupid to take him away from us for months to a year or more at a time, but now we have. It's like we're the lucky bastards we always envied when we were slogging it out long and hard in 3rd ID for 5 years.
I can't say I feel bad for the people who are deploying. None of them are peacetime enlistees, and they've all reenlisted recently. They chose to deploy. Hell, they all chose their units, knowing that they were deploying units. I also think it's great that they've had as much dwell time as they have. Everyone's been home over a year. Actually, the worst case scenario in this lot belongs to the ones who have been home a year and a half. One of our good friends has been home from his 2nd tour for 2 years today, and won't leave on his 3rd until next week. These kinds of numbers were unheard of just a year ago. When Thak left for his 3rd tour, we were thankful that he'd gotten a year at home between it and his 2nd, because there was a battalion on post (the one I'd have served in had I taken my initial orders out of AIT and not gone to Airborne School instead) which only got 6 months at home before they began training up for their next deployment, and 9 months before they left. So coming from something like that, and now seeing people getting 1 1/2 to 2 years home for one year away, it is a difference.
I'm glad it's not us this time, though. We've made our choice, and seeing everyone we know who's still on the hamster wheel is a big reminder that our choice is a good one. Nothing but love for the people who choose to deploy. Somebody's got to do it. Glad it's not us anymore, though. Real glad.
Day after tomorrow, Thak will have been home from his 3rd tour in Iraq for two years. We have never had two consecutive years without a deployment, or something really big and stupid to take him away from us for months to a year or more at a time, but now we have. It's like we're the lucky bastards we always envied when we were slogging it out long and hard in 3rd ID for 5 years.
I can't say I feel bad for the people who are deploying. None of them are peacetime enlistees, and they've all reenlisted recently. They chose to deploy. Hell, they all chose their units, knowing that they were deploying units. I also think it's great that they've had as much dwell time as they have. Everyone's been home over a year. Actually, the worst case scenario in this lot belongs to the ones who have been home a year and a half. One of our good friends has been home from his 2nd tour for 2 years today, and won't leave on his 3rd until next week. These kinds of numbers were unheard of just a year ago. When Thak left for his 3rd tour, we were thankful that he'd gotten a year at home between it and his 2nd, because there was a battalion on post (the one I'd have served in had I taken my initial orders out of AIT and not gone to Airborne School instead) which only got 6 months at home before they began training up for their next deployment, and 9 months before they left. So coming from something like that, and now seeing people getting 1 1/2 to 2 years home for one year away, it is a difference.
I'm glad it's not us this time, though. We've made our choice, and seeing everyone we know who's still on the hamster wheel is a big reminder that our choice is a good one. Nothing but love for the people who choose to deploy. Somebody's got to do it. Glad it's not us anymore, though. Real glad.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
People, don't discourage her!
I have a friend from a previous duty station, who's due to have her second baby this fall. She was discussing filling out her birth plan just yesterday. I remarked that I have such a hard time with those, because I just like to take things as they come, and that my midwife totally wouldn't let me get out of filling one out the last time, despite my best efforts. She said that she also had a hard time filling it out, but after all that happened with her first birth, she wanted to make sure that she wasn't subjected to the full cart of interventions again, and being that she's doing another hospital birth (WHY????) she needs to get that on paper in a big way. I couldn't agree more.
She also mentioned that she's thinking of going without an epidural because the epidural really messed her up last time. I told her how awesome natural birth is, and told her to go for it! Then a few other people all chimed in and said how there's no way she should attempt this thing without an epidural, and telling their own birth horror stories. These things are real pet peeves of mine.
First of all, the mainstream medical professionals have been so successful in convincing women that their bodies don't work, that I know only ONE mom anywhere near my age who's never been induced and never had a c-section (and it's me). To hear most moms talk about their birth experiences, they'll tell you how they just COULDN'T get past a certain point, or just COULDN'T get the baby out, or COULDN'T handle the labor on their own without narcotic pain relief. This is all BS, and the reason people believe it is because it is the line of shit they have been sold by the mainstream medical profession. I'd expect it from doctors. I mean, they get paid for doing all those interventions. If I'd gone to hospital for my second birth, and all the doctor had to do in the end was put on a catcher's mit and wait a minute, that would have been one pissed off doctor, because it would have been the cheapest birth they'd managed all year. No, the thing I really don't like is that women are so duped that they spread this line of shit among each other. Instead of encouraging a friend who wants to do things the way nature intended, and has absolutely no reason why she couldn't do just that, they tell her that her body doesn't work, that she'll need an epidural, that there's no way she can go without it. What a crap thing to do to a friend!
What's more, I hate hearing about people's supposed "47 hour labors". Everyone seems to count labor from the first twinge these days. Hell, if I did that, I was in labor with Orren for a week. I walked around dilated to 3-4 cm for most of the week prior to him being born, and was up all night with painful contractions (hence the dilation) for at least three nights prior to him actually being born. That was NOT real labor, though. It was real labor when it didn't ease up drastically when the sun came up, rather picked up even more, and then I had a baby a few hours later. I have absolutely no idea how long labor was with Orren. I know I was at the birth center for about an hour and a half before he was born, and I know I contracted all night. I know that I felt him engage about 18 hours before he was born. I really have no idea how long his labor was. You know what else? I don't care how long it was. All I know is that I got through it at home, in the middle of the night, alone while my family slept, and that's exactly the way it needed to be right at that moment. I don't understand the obsession with length of labor. It's like a way to scare people or something, yet another way to spread the word, "Hey women! Our bodies don't work!" It really irks me.
What's more, I can't stand people who try to project their own foibles onto others who are not at risk for that kind of thing happening. One girl who was SO adamant about the long drawn out labor, and the need for pain medication, is super morbidly obese. OF COURSE she was incapable of giving birth normally! Her body is compromised by hundreds of extra pounds of fat! You cannot project your experience with THAT onto somebody who is at a very normal weight, has no health problems, and had a successful (if pitocin-augmented, and epidural-affected) birth the first time around. The reason I weighed in on this friend's birth questions and plans is because I see many similarities between our situations, and hey, whenever anyone says they want to go drug-free, I always make sure to encourage that and tell them they can do it! I know from personal experience that you won't hear much in the way of positive things from others if your plan is to do things naturally, so I try to give encouragement and be a little different from the rest of the world when it comes to that. I also hate the assumption that anyone who went natural must have had an easy labor that was 5 minutes from first twinge to pushing. That's entirely untrue, and any midwife will tell you so. I labored all night and most of the morning with Orren, and didn't have, nor want, a single drop of pain medication. If you honestly believe you can do it, and that you WILL do it, it's really not that bad. In order to get to that place, though, you have to get to the point of really believing in yourself, and it's really hard for that to happen if you're getting told at every turn that you can't do it.
I guess it just reminds me of when we were planning Orren's birth, and people who assumed we were doing a hospital birth would make the usual joking remarks about, "Make sure you get the epidural early!" and things like that, to which Thak and I would always reply, "No epidural here." People would always scoff, and say, "We'll see about that..." and when we'd tell them that there really would not be an epidural, because it's not an option at the birth center, they would tell us we were crazy. It really irked me, because it's like, why does the entire world think I can't do it? If Thak had not believed in me as wholeheartedly as he did, I don't know if I would have believed in myself enough to make it through that. Everybody needs others to believe in them, especially for such an important undertaking. I was lucky to have that. I had Thak, and various others, who never doubted me for a minute. I had midwives who told me that Orren was the perfect size for me to deliver, that my small size is not indicative of my potential to successfully have a normal birth, even with a very large baby, who told me he would just FALL out when it was time because I know what I'm doing, and was made for this. Most people don't have that, and I think that's a big reason why they don't think they can do it, and spread the word to anyone who wants to try. Nobody's ever told them they can. That's a little sad, really. We have a whole generation of moms who don't believe in themselves, and knock each other down all the time. I can only hope this trend is short-lived, and that our daughters are able to break the cycle.
She also mentioned that she's thinking of going without an epidural because the epidural really messed her up last time. I told her how awesome natural birth is, and told her to go for it! Then a few other people all chimed in and said how there's no way she should attempt this thing without an epidural, and telling their own birth horror stories. These things are real pet peeves of mine.
First of all, the mainstream medical professionals have been so successful in convincing women that their bodies don't work, that I know only ONE mom anywhere near my age who's never been induced and never had a c-section (and it's me). To hear most moms talk about their birth experiences, they'll tell you how they just COULDN'T get past a certain point, or just COULDN'T get the baby out, or COULDN'T handle the labor on their own without narcotic pain relief. This is all BS, and the reason people believe it is because it is the line of shit they have been sold by the mainstream medical profession. I'd expect it from doctors. I mean, they get paid for doing all those interventions. If I'd gone to hospital for my second birth, and all the doctor had to do in the end was put on a catcher's mit and wait a minute, that would have been one pissed off doctor, because it would have been the cheapest birth they'd managed all year. No, the thing I really don't like is that women are so duped that they spread this line of shit among each other. Instead of encouraging a friend who wants to do things the way nature intended, and has absolutely no reason why she couldn't do just that, they tell her that her body doesn't work, that she'll need an epidural, that there's no way she can go without it. What a crap thing to do to a friend!
What's more, I hate hearing about people's supposed "47 hour labors". Everyone seems to count labor from the first twinge these days. Hell, if I did that, I was in labor with Orren for a week. I walked around dilated to 3-4 cm for most of the week prior to him being born, and was up all night with painful contractions (hence the dilation) for at least three nights prior to him actually being born. That was NOT real labor, though. It was real labor when it didn't ease up drastically when the sun came up, rather picked up even more, and then I had a baby a few hours later. I have absolutely no idea how long labor was with Orren. I know I was at the birth center for about an hour and a half before he was born, and I know I contracted all night. I know that I felt him engage about 18 hours before he was born. I really have no idea how long his labor was. You know what else? I don't care how long it was. All I know is that I got through it at home, in the middle of the night, alone while my family slept, and that's exactly the way it needed to be right at that moment. I don't understand the obsession with length of labor. It's like a way to scare people or something, yet another way to spread the word, "Hey women! Our bodies don't work!" It really irks me.
What's more, I can't stand people who try to project their own foibles onto others who are not at risk for that kind of thing happening. One girl who was SO adamant about the long drawn out labor, and the need for pain medication, is super morbidly obese. OF COURSE she was incapable of giving birth normally! Her body is compromised by hundreds of extra pounds of fat! You cannot project your experience with THAT onto somebody who is at a very normal weight, has no health problems, and had a successful (if pitocin-augmented, and epidural-affected) birth the first time around. The reason I weighed in on this friend's birth questions and plans is because I see many similarities between our situations, and hey, whenever anyone says they want to go drug-free, I always make sure to encourage that and tell them they can do it! I know from personal experience that you won't hear much in the way of positive things from others if your plan is to do things naturally, so I try to give encouragement and be a little different from the rest of the world when it comes to that. I also hate the assumption that anyone who went natural must have had an easy labor that was 5 minutes from first twinge to pushing. That's entirely untrue, and any midwife will tell you so. I labored all night and most of the morning with Orren, and didn't have, nor want, a single drop of pain medication. If you honestly believe you can do it, and that you WILL do it, it's really not that bad. In order to get to that place, though, you have to get to the point of really believing in yourself, and it's really hard for that to happen if you're getting told at every turn that you can't do it.
I guess it just reminds me of when we were planning Orren's birth, and people who assumed we were doing a hospital birth would make the usual joking remarks about, "Make sure you get the epidural early!" and things like that, to which Thak and I would always reply, "No epidural here." People would always scoff, and say, "We'll see about that..." and when we'd tell them that there really would not be an epidural, because it's not an option at the birth center, they would tell us we were crazy. It really irked me, because it's like, why does the entire world think I can't do it? If Thak had not believed in me as wholeheartedly as he did, I don't know if I would have believed in myself enough to make it through that. Everybody needs others to believe in them, especially for such an important undertaking. I was lucky to have that. I had Thak, and various others, who never doubted me for a minute. I had midwives who told me that Orren was the perfect size for me to deliver, that my small size is not indicative of my potential to successfully have a normal birth, even with a very large baby, who told me he would just FALL out when it was time because I know what I'm doing, and was made for this. Most people don't have that, and I think that's a big reason why they don't think they can do it, and spread the word to anyone who wants to try. Nobody's ever told them they can. That's a little sad, really. We have a whole generation of moms who don't believe in themselves, and knock each other down all the time. I can only hope this trend is short-lived, and that our daughters are able to break the cycle.
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