Controversy over a homecoming picture.

Yesterday, military bank USAA caused major controversy by publishing a photo to its website of a soldier coming home to his wife at the Dallas Cowboys game. Now, first off, let me say, I hate crap like that. I REALLY cannot stand those media circus homecomings because they're nothing more than a publicity gimmick for the Army, and the soldier is only ever home on R&R anyway, so while the whole crowd is thinking, "How sweet! He came home just in time for Thanksgiving!", the reality of the situation is, this guy's probably boarding a plane back to Kabul on Turkey Day anyhow. Yet somehow, "Soldier surprises wife for piddly two week visit in Cowboys Stadium" doesn't have quite the ring to it, now does it? Of course not.

Now, this media circus homecoming gimmick has been done before about a thousand times. Why, then, did this one stir up so much controversy among the military community? Well, here's a pic:

Click here

This wasn't the one on the USAA site. They ended up taking it down. The one I linked is slightly better. But basically military spouses were divided on whether this was a sweet picture, or a trotting out of stereotypes. See, the fat sloppy Army wife with the skinny little soldier is as much of an ugly stereotype as the black kid eating chicken and watermelon. Do black kids, in fact, eat chicken and watermelon? Sure they do, just as some skinny little soldiers have big fat wives who look like a hot mess all the time, but the point is, it's a stereotype, and seeing it splashed forth on national TV didn't sit any better with about half the Army wives I know, than it would with the NAACP if KFC changed their ad campaign to include nothing but little black kids with messed up hair, nomming down on their chicken, with watermelon on the side. It's just not good PR to play on stereotypes, and in choosing this couple to be featured on national TV, USAA did just that.

I can see their point, but on the other hand, I can also see the other side. Maybe this girl actually likes media circuses (I can't imagine why... but maybe some people do). Maybe her husband signed them up for it, thinking she would like it. Maybe he's the world's biggest Dallas Cowboys fan, and wanted free tickets to a game. Maybe he lost a bet. I cannot even begin to imagine why any person or couple would put themselves in this position, but for whatever reason, it happened, and America got to see another great publicity gimmick by the good old US Army. You know, when you see these things, you're supposed to think of how glamorous and romantic it is to be a soldier's wife, and then tell your boyfriend he should go enlist. Some people surely did see that, and maybe in showing something other than the standard super put together skinny wife with perfect makeup and hair, greeted by her Officer husband, who looks just as perfect as he did the day he graduated from West Point, makes this whole Army thing seem like it's more for everybody, and not just the ones who actually look like they stepped right off a Hollywood set. For all we know, that's what they were getting at by choosing these people. You can't tell me they don't look at pictures before deciding who to put on national TV. The Army and USAA knew exactly what they were dealing with months before this went down. They chose this. This was the promotional gimmick they were looking for. I do not know their reasoning, but I know that there was some. If there is one thing I know about my Army, it is that there is a reason for everything they do, even this.

Now, what's my take on it? First of all, let's put it out there real clear like. I'm not hating on the fat girl, ok? It is what it is. I see worse every time I drive through post housing. No, my problem is with the execution of it. Fine, have the 120 pound soldier greet his 400 pound wife on the 50-yard-line at Cowboys Stadium, but could SOMEBODY please tell that girl to do her hair and wear something nice? I mean, you KNOW her family was in on this. Her mom couldn't take her to the salon that morning, or shopping the day prior, or something? If I ever ended up in that situation, I would seriously hope that nobody would let me go on national TV looking like that. Of course, if Thak ever pulled a stunt like that, it would be at a Vikings game, and trust me, if I ever set foot in the Metrodome, I will be in full on football babe mode! I'm talking, nice fitted jersey, skinny jeans, stilettos, great makeup, nice hair... Plus, I look fab in purple. (Maybe this whole football game homecoming thing isn't such a bad idea... or maybe I should wear my Vikings stuff to pick Thak up at the airport! Ha!) So I don't know, maybe looking like a hot mess is just who this girl is, and it's ok with her that she was portrayed that way? I have no idea. I don't know her, and judging by her husband's patch, they're at Ft. Hood, so it's not like I'll ever run into her in the PX and get to ask her what she thinks of the whole deal. All we can do is speculate.

In all, I just dislike these publicity grabs with the public "homecoming". It portrays something that isn't, and feeds on a widespread misunderstanding that our society still holds. People still mostly think that when a soldier comes home, he's home, and that's that. They don't understand that 50% of the time, it's just for a couple weeks, and then he has to go back for months on end until he can come home again. Then they REALLY don't understand that even when the deployment is over, it's not like he's just home and that's that. No, he's probably going back again before long. Hell, with all of Thak's deployments, they were on orders for the next one before the current one ended. When your husband sees you for the first time in most of a year, and his first words to you are, "I go back in August" (that was the first thing Thak said to me when he came home from his 2nd. I didn't even get two seconds to pretend it was over.), that will forever ruin every single homecoming you ever see for the rest of your life, because honestly, they're all temporary. Society doesn't know that, though. They think it's like Vietnam, where if you do multiple tours, it's because you volunteered for it, and that you can get out after you get home if you want to. What they fail to understand is that in doing away with the draft, and using an all volunteer force, the voluntary factor is actually severely diminished for those who actually do this job. Sure, you volunteered to enlist (whose Drill Sergeant didn't remind them of that 10,000 times a day in Basic? Mine sure did!) but what if you decide after your first tour that war's really not your thing? Too bad. You've got enough time on your contract for another deployment, so pack your shit. You volunteered. Society doesn't see that end of it, and these public homecomings only feed into that misunderstanding. I guarantee you if I stood outside Cowboys Stadium and polled 1000 random people who saw this go down on the big screen what they thought just happened, less than 50 of them would guess that soldier is only home for two weeks.

Advertising is seldom honest, and the military is nearly never forthcoming, so this is no surprise, but it is still distasteful to me, and adding in the stereotype factor on top of it, many others join me in that opinion of it. Maybe we will see an end to publicity stunts like this due to the reaction of the military community. Better yet, let's just bring them all home and not send any of them back, and for publicity, stick to parachute jumps, drill team presentations, and cheesy commercials about how you, too, can be Army Strong.