Rough day. Trying to stay positive.

So I'm about to be that person every infertile woman on the planet loves to hate.... the whiny pregnant lady!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Just be happy I can have babies. I get it. I know how lucky I am that I seem to get pregnant if my husband so much as looks at me the right way. OK. Yes. It's wonderful, and I appreciate it. However, this pregnancy has been much harder than the others so far, and as if we weren't sure enough of it before, we are definitely never doing this again.

Seriously, this is something that does not get easier with age. With Erin, I was 21, and being pregnant was really easy. It wasn't even particularly uncomfortable until I passed the 41 week mark. With Orren, I was 26 and 27, and it wasn't bad then either. I had more symptoms than I did with Erin, but basically just enough to say, "Oh, so these are the symptoms they are talking about in all the books." I was pretty uncomfortable with Orren from about 37 weeks on, and after 41 weeks, I REALLY wanted him out, but Orren was huge, so I basically lugged around the equivalent of most people's full-term size baby for my entire 3rd trimester. Discomfort at some point is to be expected.

This time, though, at 29, I've been sick practically since conception, sometimes just in the morning and sometimes all day. I also have absolutely no energy at all. By the time it gets dark outside, it's all I can do to carry Orren down the hallway to get him ready for bed, then do Erin's homework with her (anyone else with a kid who has learning disabilities understands that this is a painstaking process every single day, which is why we wait until after Orren goes to bed.), then get Erin to bed, and keep my eyes at least a little bit open until Thak comes home from school a couple hours later. By the time he gets home, I have absolutely nothing left. He packs Erin's lunch every day now because by that time of the night, I'm just too tired. I'm also fat this time. I've been in some combination of maternity clothes and stretchy regular clothes for weeks already because my regular stuff stopped fitting almost immediately.

We are NEVER doing this again. Ever. After today, being so sick this morning that I could barely get Erin to school on time (I did, though... even if it was only by seconds) and then having no energy for Orren this morning (I was planning on taking him for a ride around the neighborhood in the new stroller), I'm just that much more convinced of it. I was before, but today has just hammered the point home that much more. I do not know how people who have tons and tons of kids ever get through it. Sure, not everyone's symptoms are the same, but scientific fact backs me up on my point that this isn't something that gets better with age.

On a good note, I just stole some Cheerios out of Orren's bowl (he found that amusing), and seem to be feeling slightly better. Right now I'm just trying to keep down enough water to stay hydrated, and I think this will help. I hope... Most days, I'm pretty good with the nausea, but today it is far more severe than usual, and I hate it. Tomorrow absolutely has to be better.