Rollin' Mainstream.... for now

We had a carseat situation yesterday. Somewhere between home, Erin's school, and home again, Orren got something unidentifiable yet disgusting and sticky, on his carseat. Upon discovering this, I had to uninstall the carseat, and bring it inside so I could wash the cover. (Anyone who's ever installed a Radian with a more upright angle, and a totally rock-solid install, in a compact car, behind the driver's seat, will groan right along with me on the subject of undoing all my good work.) Of course, I wasn't thinking of anything but getting our Radian clean, and of course, getting the cover off it in order to do that in the first place, which I'm pretty sure is a task that has its own little designated corner of hell. I finally got the cover off, put it in the wash (yeah, it says handwash. I'm not handwashing anything. I'll use the handwash cycle on my washing machine.) and then it hit me. I had more errands to run before the day was over, and surely before I'd have enough kid-free time to go and install the Radian again.

I figured I'd just get the Marathon out of Thak's truck, but when Thak came home, he didn't have his truck. He had his friend's car, which he was fixing the AC on. So that meant I didn't have our back-up carseat.

OK, well, there is one more. We have a Britax Diplomat in the linen closet that we haven't used ever since we got the Radian. I was 99% sure Orren had outgrown it by height, but I pulled it out anyhow, crossing my fingers that I was wrong. Nope. Sure enough, I was right. It wasn't even iffy. He would need an inch or more in shell height above the top of his head in order to rear-face, and his head was actually slightly above the top of the shell, so there was no way I could rear-face him in that seat. I checked the highest top harness height, and it did come out just slightly above his shoulder height. We could use the seat forward-facing.

I told Thak that, and his first reflex was to veto it completely. I reminded him that while I don't like it any more than he does, I had things that I absolutely had to do, and with him being in school at night, I have no help with the kids, so they're going to have to go with me. It seemed to me like we had no choice, as much as I hated the thought of it, and after thinking about it for a minute, Thak agreed. I installed the Diplomat forward-facing where the Radian had been. I will say, I love that rock solid Britax install. It's just plain idiot-proof. I also love the way their tethers are. (We tether rear-facing, too, because Britax and Sunshine Kids seats are approved for that. Other brands only tether forward-facing.) It took me about two minutes to get that seat installed perfectly. It looked wrong (not only because it was forward-facing, but because we're so used to our Radian, which is really low, and Britaxes sit way up high.) but it was installed correctly, so we went with it.

Orren didn't really know what to make of forward-facing. He liked being able to look out the front of the car, and was amused with being able to see mommy and daddy, but he was uncomfortable and didn't know where to put his legs. (Really, when is the last time you've seen a toddler be content to have their legs hanging aimlessly? They sit cross legged more often than anything else.) I found that ironic since the mainstreamer's favorite argument for forward-facing as soon as they possibly can is, "What would a toddler ever do with their legs if rear-facing??" After yesterday, I think a more accurate question would be, "What would a toddler do with their legs when they're forward-facing??" because mine surely didn't know what to do with his. All in all, it got mixed reviews from Orren.

From me and Thak, the review can be summed up in two words, "nerve wracking". Knowing what we know, that 20-month-old Orren is at a 500% increased risk of serious spinal injury or death while forward-facing compared to his risk while rear-facing, that his spine still consists of a lot of cartilage, and not a ton of bone, and that his head still makes up roughly 25% of his body mass, driving with a forward-facing toddler was less than a "feel good" experience for me and Thak. It felt very haphazard.

The Radian's cover is dry now, and I'll put the seat back together and reinstall it while Thak is home for lunch. At that point, Orren will be back to rear-facing for at least the next year and a half. We'll all feel better then.

All this made me think, though. The knowledge that we have applied in making the goal of keeping Orren rear-facing until the age of 3 or older, is readily available. The American Academy of Pediatrics even recommends 2 years minimum, and thereafter as long as the child is within the height and weight limits for rear-facing in their convertible carseat. There are charts all over the web which show spinal ossification and development by age. Even on mainstream parenting sites like Cafe Mom and True Mom Confessions, the discussions about carseats always include links to very solid data and reports, showing the benefits of extended rear-facing. I really don't think there's a parent on the face of the earth who hasn't read enough to at least get the gist of it. How, then, do people still cling to the outdated and dangerous "1 and 20" standard? They don't like being called out on it, but I have asked mainstream (thus, forward-face at 1 and 20) moms I know before, "You can keep your kid 500% safer. You know this. You acknowledge that it's true. Yet you won't do it. Why is that? What is the thought process that goes into that decision?" You know, nobody's ever given me an answer. Now, more than ever, I just want to know how, in this world of information, where we all have the means to keep our kids really safe, someone would simply decide not to do it. How, when everyone knows terms like "internal decapitation" and "head excursion" could any parent derive any pleasure from looking in the backseat and seeing their little toddler looking back at them? I never thought I'd say this, but I seriously can't wait to see the ugly, gray, cluttered up, back of that Radian when I look in the backseat again.