Weird questions I didn't expect to be asked...

In the month since our awesome homebirth, the reaction from people at large has been interesting. Mostly, it's good. A lot of people are pretty floored by the concept of a 10 pound baby and no pain medication. (I can tell you, his weight had nothing to do with how painful that birth was. His hand being up by his face, and his shoulders getting stuck on the way out, had a lot to do with it, though!) Some are impressed with my and Thak's faith in the process of birth, and our willingness to just accept what nature had for us this time. Most of the guys we know joke around with Thak about how big Chai is, and ask what he's trying to do to me. Many people tell me that I'm brave. Everyone we know says Chai is beautiful, and congratulates us.

Aside from the generally good reactions, there have been a few things that are funny, and unexpected.

I think I could have 10 babies all at home or at birth centers, and still be just slightly surprised every time people project the hospital birthing norms onto me. Theoretically, I know that only 1% of American women are like me in their birthing practices, so when people assume we birthed in a hospital, they do so because they've got about a 99% shot at being right about that. It's just that these things that are assumed about us since 99% of society does them, are so opposite of what is normal in my life.

It's like when I get asked for Chai's shot record, I always have some 'splainin to do. "Chaiyo is mere weeks old. He has no shot record.", I explain. "What about the shot he got at birth?", they inquire. Oh... they think we're hospital birthers. "He didn't get a shot at birth. He was born at home.", I explain, bracing for the next crazy question. Right on time, here it comes, and I answer. "Nope, he didn't have antibiotic eye ointment either. That's to prevent eye infections caused by STD's. I don't have any STD's, so he didn't need it. Yes, I'm sure." Then it always follows that I have to explain further... "Nope, he didn't have Vitamin K injection either. He's not Vitamin K deficient. If he were, he'd have a lot of bruising, and he has none. Nope, I'm not worried about the risk of bleeding. Since we're not having him circumcised, there's nothing that would pose a bleeding risk at this point." By this time, they're either looking intrigued, or telling me I'm crazy. It's about an even split on which one.

There are two really unexpected questions I get. First of all, people ask if I am diabetic when they find out how big Chai was at birth. Nope, I'm not diabetic. No, I was never tested for gestational diabetes, but I also showed no symptoms of it, no reason to test. Gestational Diabetes is actually kind of an urban legend. The tests doctors use actually churn out a gang load of false positives, and are kind of harmful. You're either diabetic or you're not. You don't just become diabetic during pregnancy if you had no symptoms or tendency that way in the first place. So yes, I'm sure I'm not diabetic. I just have nice big babies. Yes, that's possible.

The question that makes me laugh the most is whether Chai was born at home on purpose, or if we just couldn't get to the hospital in time. That cracks me up. It always goes something like this:

Them: [insert question that only applies to hospital birthers]
Me: Oh, we don't have a [whatever they asked for]. He was born at home.
Them: [horrified look on their face] You couldn't make it to the hospital?!!
Me: Well, I'm sure we could have if we'd wanted to. I was in labor all day long. We just preferred to have our midwife come to us rather than the other way around, that's all.
Them: So he was born at home ON PURPOSE?!!
Me: [big smile] Very much so.
Them: [jaw on floor]

It is hilarious. It never occurred to me that it would be assumed that our homebirth was accidental! Plus, don't people who just can't get to the hospital in time usually go to the hospital anyhow? Like, don't they usually call 911, or call their doctor, or something? So if that were the case for us, wouldn't we have the documents and stuff that hospital birthers have since we would have gone to the hospital after the birth? Hell I don't know, but it seems logical to me!


I guess these crazy questions are part of the reason I'm sort of dreading the pediatrician visit. It's not that I dislike our pediatrician. I like him very well. He's a really good doctor. It's just that he has no experience with people like us, so we get the "are you crazy?" look a lot... not as much from him as the office staff, but it's still kind of a pain in the ass having our paperwork kicked back 100 times for lack of documents we are simply not going to have, being asked by every person who deals with us for stuff that simply does not apply to us, and then getting the "are you crazy?" look or comments. It was this way with Orren because he was a birth center baby, so I know it will be the same with Chai being a homebirth baby, maybe even more-so since Alyson is a CPM rather than a CNM (Orren's birth was attended by a CNM, which is generally more accepted by mainstream doctors than CPM attended births). I'm sort of procrastinating on scheduling Chai a pediatrician visit for that reason (and also because Thak has yet to take off work to go with me to the ID Card office, and I can't use our insurance without a military ID, and I can't get an ID without Thak being there with me). It's not that big a deal really. We had our one month appointment with Alyson. We'll just go for a 2-month appointment with the pediatrician. That gives me one more month to figure out what we want to do vaccination-wise. And of course, it gives us more time to prepare creative responses to the silly questions people ask us crazy homebirthing folks!