More misunderstanding and poor treatment of female soldiers...

This week's issue of Army Times included a small update on the Ft. Stewart soldier who refused to deploy because she had nobody to care for her son. I was glad to see that she did not get any jail time, but was disappointed that they gave her an administrative discharge under Other than Honorable conditions. That's a pretty nasty discharge, especially when you consider that all she did was refuse to leave her 10-month-old in state custody. Dude, I would NEVER leave my kids under those circumstances, not for all the gold in Ft. Knox, all the tea in China, and all the money in the world! I, for damn sure, would not do it in order to go and sit on a camp in some desert hell because the government decided I needed to.

Again, I don't think this soldier handled this situation well. I think once she knew her family care plan was shaky (and she probably knew it before the baby was born) she should have requested an honorable discharge due to single parenthood. It is a common thing, and if I had a dollar for every person I know who's gotten out that way, I'd have more than a few bucks. I don't think this soldier is very intelligent or rational, because if she were, she'd have gotten out nearly a year ago, taken her honorable discharge, and moved on with her life. That doesn't change the fact that I still think she was taken for a ride by the unit right to the end.

One thing really bothered me in the Army Times article. They said that the Army's investigation had shown that she did not intend to deploy with the unit, and said she would do what she had to in order to get out of it. While there's certainly the possibility that things are exactly as those few words would imply, I would say the odds are far greater that she said something to one of her buddies (and during an investigation, buddies turn on you quicker than anything because they are threatened just as badly as you are!) like, "If they think I'm going to leave my baby in foster care, they're crazy. I'm not deploying if they think that's what I'm going to do." I know quite well how adept the Army is at twisting words, and cannot actually think of one investigation I've been close to in which words were NOT twisted to suit the purposes of some officer hell bent on getting his way. I don't think we'll ever know the whole story, and I am 100% sure that the three paragraphs in Army Times did not tell even a little bit of the truth beyond what type of discharge this soldier is getting. It's just one more example of the Army being extremely secretive with the truth, and vilifying a young female soldier who only wanted what every other mom on the planet wants, to be sure that her child would have the best care while she was working (yeah, in this case, work was a 12 month deployment. This just makes it even more-so.) I will say it again. This soldier had a baby. She did not rob a bank. Let's have some perspective on what's going on here. The Army is punishing a mom for trying to be a mom. As a female veteran and a mom, I am greatly disappointed in my beloved Army.

In that same issue of Army Times, there was a letter from a retired Command Sergeant Major. He was discussing Major General Cucolo's policy on war zone pregnancies. MG Cucolo, the new commander of 3rd Infantry Division (Dear God, please bring back LTG Lynch. This new guy SUCKS by comparison!) said that any soldier who gets pregnant while deployed, and the soldier who gets said soldier pregnant, will face harsh punishment.

First off, contrary to the opinions of naive military wives everywhere, people have sex on deployment. Married soldier couples are allowed to live together while deployed (finally!), and of course single soldiers do what single soldiers have always done. Sure, there are married guys who cheat, too. That's why you don't marry someone you didn't serve with first... Anyhow, I digress. Let's look at the size and scope of this issue. People who support MG C's policy say that pregnant soldiers leaving the combat zone early detract greatly from the mission. I disagree. I think it's a very small problem. In a brigade of nearly 4o00 soldiers, which a previous Army Times article used as an example, there were 12 pregnancies during that brigade's most recent 15 month deployment. 12 in 15 months, out of 4000 soldiers. Yes, that is a giant and widespread problem. Please alert the President. (Rolling eyes.)

More soldiers have to leave the battlefield for injuries resulting from their own stupidity than for pregnancy. Will we also harshly punish the guys who don't use proper safety measures, and injure themselves to the point of not being returned to duty? If we penalize pregnant soldiers, we NEED to penalize those idiots, too, because the number of them, and thus the impact to any unit, is far greater. It's not going to happen, though. They always threaten it, but I've NEVER seen anyone punished for being an idiot and getting hurt.

Anyhow, this CSM who wrote in agreeing with MG C's policy about was so ignorant. He basically said (I'm paraphrasing), "With all the contraceptive measures available these days, there is no excuse. Young soldiers get pregnant intentionally, and it's blatantly disrespectful to the unit and detrimental to the mission."

OK, at face value, that sounds about right. Every military pharmacy on the planet stocks a full supply of every contraceptive known to man, and boy do dependent wives (and daughters) take full advantage! Even married female soldiers can manage to get their hands on some of this stuff... sometimes. For single female soldiers, though, it's nearly impossible. Let me tell you why.

When you need anything medical done that's non-emergency, you go to something called "sick call". Basically, it's open clinic beginning at about 5:30 or 6:00 in the morning. In order to go to sick call, a soldier must go to their unit's duty NCO that morning, fill out a slip detailing WHY they're going, and then present that slip to their Company Commander. He must sign it in order for that soldier to go to sick call. They will not be seen without their Commander's signature, and the Commander will not sign it without the reason being filled out.

You want to be that single female soldier who presents the sick call slip with "contraceptive prescription" in the "reason" block to her Company Commander? Yeah, neither does anyone else. For one, like it's his business. For another, many Company Commanders, like mine, were very religious and would refuse to sign such a slip. And finally, a great many commanders do not want to let anyone go unless it's a total emergency, and he'll always tell you that you can take care of that tomorrow, but tomorrow, he doesn't let you go either.

Now, a civilian girl can go to Planned Parenthood, and get what they need. Try getting your squad leader to release you for that. It won't happen. You don't get to take off work unless the people above you think your reasoning is good, and none of the very married men above us ever think that there's a good reason a young female soldier needs such an appointment. Maybe it's better in units which have more female soldiers, and even females within their command group. Maybe medics, cooks, and quartermasters don't have this issue. I was neither medic, nor cook, nor quartermaster, though. I can only tell you that female engineers find absolutely no understanding or cooperation in a great many cases.

It makes my blood boil when military wives talk about this, too. They act like female soldiers just pop out babies left and right because they don't want to do their job. In reality, our access to contraception is maybe 10% that of anyone who doesn't put on a uniform and combat boots every morning. Any civilian woman in America can easily time her pregnancies by her standards. Female soldiers have to jump through ten flaming hoops to accomplish that same thing. THAT is why so many single soldiers get pregnant. It's not because they are trying to get out of doing their job, or because they are trying to slack off, or anything else. It's because the choices that civilian women take for granted are damned near unavailable.

I'm so tired of the implication that if a female soldier has a baby, she had some malicious intent in doing that. Hell, I'm sick of the widely held belief that if a female soldier does anything but act like a total robot 24/7, that she's in some way wrong.

Try looking nice at a civilian clothes function. You will be accused of trying to steal people's husbands. This accusation usually comes about when you show proper courtesy by greeting your superior. (Why is it normal and expected for civilian girls to spend time on their appearance, but when we wear clothes that fit and let our hair out of its usual regulation military knot, we are wrong?)

Try having a relationship with anyone other than the lowest-ranking, crappiest, fattest, stupidest soldier in the unit. You are social climbing. You're a rank whore. (Why is it ok for civilian girls to have standards, but not us?)

Try getting married to someone you are actually attracted to, meaning in many cases that he is older, established enough to have at least a little bit of rank on him, and he's well-connected enough that he can hold his own in most units. You have just complicated things for yourself BIG TIME, and you must have some ulterior motive. (Why can't we have good men? Can't it be a good thing when we find someone who makes us happy and whom we can be proud of?)

Try having a baby. You are a whore. You want free time off work and those snazzy maternity uniforms that you don't have to pay for (but you turn in after you have the baby). You want to pawn your duties off on the rest of your squad. You are a royal pain in the ass who is definitely up to something. (Can't anyone just say congratulations? It's a baby, not an act of treason.)


We are not allowed to be people. I don't understand why male soldiers are allowed, even expected, to live a very normal life off duty, but when a female soldier tries to do just that, they are maligned until the end of the earth. We have a long way to go before the Army will be a good place for female soldiers. Anyone who thinks things are ok the way they are is quite obviously male, probably Infantry, and definitely extremely ignorant.