What is a learning disability?

I'm somewhat new to the whole academic special needs thing, but as the parent of a child with learning disabilities, it didn't take me long to notice that misconceptions abound. Erin has four diagnosed processing disorders, two auditory and two visual. She's also speech delayed. These things are related. These things seem relatively straight forward to me, but then again, it is my kid, so it would. I find that it's not generally very well understood by society at large, or other parents.

Understand first that my child is the canary in the academic coal mine. She can't just walk into any school and succeed. She's not SO impaired that they'll put her in a special class, but she's impaired enough that she can't succeed without special help. She will always be mainstream with her peers, but she will probably always need a tutor, and will likely need help from a special ed teacher on a part time basis for years to come. She also needs a speech therapist for now. You can understand what she says, and she's actually only about a year behind in her speech, but speech therapy helps her to progress in other areas since her speech delay and her processing disorders are related. A school that does not offer her the perfect balance of inclusion with her peers, and help she needs, is a disaster for her. Since she's a little girl, this is even more amplified. Often, boys with learning disabilities get rambunctious and destructive since they're bored in regular classes where they don't understand. They get help because the teacher notices their disruption. Girls like Erin, on the other hand, tend to just hang back and be quiet. They're easy to brush off and just not do anything for. This is what happened to Erin in public school. The school your child excelled in may quite well be a disaster for mine. I am not exaggerating when I say how horrid Ysleta ISD was to us, or how any parent of a child with learning disabilities should be skeptical of them. Yes, your gifted or dead average child did fine. Yes, your extremely autistic child got help. It's the ones like my kid who fall through the cracks in a lot of places. They're just "normal" enough to throw in with the masses, and just impaired enough to be seriously harmed by that.

A learning disability is not mental retardation. Erin isn't stupid, even though she tries to convince us she is when we tell her to do her chores. (She literally pretends she doesn't understand. It's really annoying.) It is not surprising that she is the top student in her grade in math, and among the top three in her grade in science, but flunks every spelling test by a landslide, and reads a year below grade level. She isn't stupid. She is learning disabled. The telltale sign of learning disabilities is an academic history like Erin's. "Wow, this kid rocks at math, but can't read whatsoever." THAT is a learning disability. It's not the same as a low IQ. Erin's IQ is, in fact, very average. She is not a genius by any stretch of the imagination, but she is nobody's idiot either. Her abilities to learn are unevenly distributed, that's all.

Auditory and visual processing disorders have nothing to do with the ability to see and hear. I can't even tell you how many times some well meaning friend has told me, when I am frustrated to the point of ripping my hair out (usually this coincides with spelling homework), "Well, why doesn't she have glasses and hearing aids? You know, Tricare will cover it since she has these diagnosed conditions, and then you won't have these problems anymore." I walk a thin line between laughing and screaming when people say that. She isn't blind or deaf. Her actual senses are fine. It's her brain that's the issue. She sees and hears everything you and I see and hear. She just doesn't process that information very well when it comes to language. The only help for her is a special ed teacher, and she has one of those, thank goodness.

Finally, it isn't sad. It just is what it is. Understand that we have to work a little harder for any amount of progress that she makes, but this is no tragedy. She's not going to die of this thing, and in most ways she's a very typical 8-year-old girl. She lives to dance, has a mild obsession with all things Hello Kitty, loves Justin Bieber, and gets into drama with her friends multiple times a week. In most ways, my kid is just like yours, and when she grows up, you probably would never know she has learning disabilities unless she tells you. Her future is bright, and like most kids with learning disabilities, the prognosis is excellent.