I'm still kind of celebrating the one year anniversary of my homebirth. It was amazing, defining, and almost indescribable to be able to do that. Once you homebirth, you just see the world differently. I hear it all the time from other homebirth moms, and it's so true. There's a huge sense of confidence in one's innate ability as a human being that comes with birthing at home. I've learned a lot over the past year, though, some of it funny, some of it annoying, but all of it sort of surprising to me.
People think only those who have quick easy births homebirth. If you homebirth, you definitely had a 4 hour labor, and didn't even feel contractions for the most part. Of course, this could not be farther from the truth. My homebirth was actually very difficult, my longest labor, ending in a somewhat complicated birth. When people say, "Well, I could never birth at home, I had a 16 hour labor! I needed that epidural!" I have to admit, I enjoy telling them how my labor at home was 24 hours from start to finish. I'm not a one-upper, and I know of women who have had 50+ hour labors at home, so I know I don't win any prize for mine, but I really don't like misinformation floating around. Homebirthers don't do it because it's easy for us. We do it because even when it is difficult, it's still right.
The funniest and most surprising thing I found is that a lot of people think my homebirth was accidental! I was often asked what hospital I went to that "allowed" me to birth a 10 pound baby naturally, and didn't do a c-section when he got stuck. I always laugh and say, "Oh, he was born at home." More times than I can count, they then asked, "Fast labor, huh? You just didn't have time to get to the hospital?" That absolutely cracks me up. Oh, no, I had a very slow labor. I had literally all day and all night to get to any hospital in the southwest if I'd wanted to (literally! I could have birthed in Dallas, or Albuquerque, or Phoenix, or even San Diego if I'd wanted to! Think about that. It's true.) But no, my midwife came to me, at home, and that's where Chai was born, because that's our way. It was very intentional, so intentional, in fact, that we moved to Texas for the express purpose of having the freedom to homebirth with a licensed midwife, without undue restrictions.
Another thing that has surprised me is that when you say "I homebirthed", you probably should just go ahead and follow it up with, "Now, please tell me every awful thing that makes you think you couldn't, or about your epidural that didn't work." (and in your head, "even though there's a 90% chance what I'm about to hear is complete bullshit"). Everyone wants to tell you their birth story, and they're never any good. Nobody ever says, "Oh, you homebirthed? Cool! I had this totally kickass birth center birth. I labored in the water all day, then ate some fruit and went for a walk. After that, I felt kinda pushy, so I got onto the birth stool, and caught my own baby while my midwife cheered me on." Nope. You never hear that. You hear two flavors of stories. One flavor is the "I could never homebirth because I would DIE!!" and the other is, "Well, I was in a hospital and had an epidural, but it didn't work very well, so I still felt everything." You wouldn't believe how many people want to tell you about their epidurals that didn't work when they find out you birthed a 10 pound baby in your own bed. (And they say we homebirthers are the ones who are trying to prove something!)
People also seem to think I'm trying to sell them on homebirthing. That's simply not true. Now, when someone expresses discontent with the way hospitals work, or their OB does things, I ask them why they're doing a hospital birth if they don't like that stuff, and if they have spoken with any homebirth midwives or visited a birth center. That is because I want all people to be aware of their options, and to make an informed choice. Homebirth is misunderstood, and so are birth centers. Most people don't understand what happens if something goes wrong, and they don't understand what kind of clients midwives take and what kinds they do not take. We inform to clear up misconceptions, or to encourage people to explore options that might suit them, not to persuade them to choose what we chose. If you told me 10 years ago that I would have a baby at home, I'd have told you that you were insane. I understand as well as anyone that for a lot of people, homebirth is a destination at the end of a long journey, and I would never push anyone in that direction. If they're meant to get here, they will.
Money is the big thing. I think I've been asked more than anything about the financial aspect. That part really surprised me. Before I had Chai, I always had questions for other homebirthers, but they were never about money. I would ask what kinds of stuff their midwife brought to the birth, or where they bought the supplies they needed. I'd ask how they prepared their birth space, or what they did with their other kids during their labor, or if they had a doula. It never occurred to me to ask about money, but that's what I get asked about more than anything else. Everyone wants to know if Tricare covered my birth, and how I got that to happen. They also want to know exactly how much it cost. I finally had to tell friends to stop sending people to pick my brain about this, because it's really draining to have this totally defining experience and then all anyone wants to know about it is what my insurance company thought of it. Truth be told, yes, I did receive partial reimbursement for my homebirth, from Tricare no less, but I didn't know going in that it was possible, and I didn't care. I have never allowed an insurance company to make my birthing choices for me. I make my choices, and my insurance company gets in where it fits in. Birth is too important to subject to corporate policy.
Aside from the things I have been asked, there are a few things I would tell would-be homebirthers. These are the things that stand out to me even now at the year mark:
It's worth it.
It's really hard to get a birth certificate.
People are going to think you're crazy.
You will question your resolve, but that doesn't mean it's wrong.
Don't let the fear mongers get you down.
And above all else, IT'S WORTH IT.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Breastfeeding in uniform is AWESOME!
Unfortunately, I hear a lot of comments from female vets, saying things like, "Well, they can breastfeed if they want to, I guess, but they should do it in a private location, not just anywhere." or "It's just very disrespectful of the uniform. Haven't we fought hard enough for respect? This undermines us."
These comments make me want to hit things. I cannot believe female vets would actually speak against our own kind like this, when they're just doing something that is totally their right to do, and is something that women in the military have been fighting to be able to do for so long. Do you have any idea how many women don't get breaks to pump, or get deployed when their babies are just weeks old, so they cannot breastfeed? This is a huge issue in the military. If the breastfeeding rate at 12 months is 15% for society at large, for female soldiers, I wouldn't put it anywhere above maybe 3%, and those 3% would be nearly all officers (in other words, people with enough influence to insist on certain provisions for themselves) in non-deploying jobs such as working in hospitals stateside, or administrative jobs. Needless to say, that's not the majority of the military. Being a mom in the military is daunting. Breastfeeding in the military is like climbing Mt. Everest. Knowing this, female vets, more than any other group, should give our strongest support to women who dare to challenge the norms, and challenge the Good Old Boy Network that we all know way too well, to step out of their comfort zone, and join the 21st century.
For those who think I'm full of crap, I've got to ask you a few questions.
1) Have you ever smoked in uniform? (I have.)
2) Have you ever drank in uniform? (I have.)
3) Have you ever stood around talking trash with your buddies or otherwise acting like kind of an idiot, while in uniform? (I have.)
If you answered yes to any of the above questions, you don't have a leg to stand on when insisting on propriety of activities for respect of the uniform.
It's about time female soldiers were seen as full fledged human beings. I think the thing that surprised me the most about being in the Army was that I simply could not do what a normal girl my age could do, and I couldn't do what my male counterparts could do either. My motives for every move I made were questioned, and I was always suspect, just for living my life. I seemed to miss the line that said, "You aren't a person anymore. You cannot be like other females, but you cannot have the rights that male troops have either." in my enlistment contract. It is hard to be a female soldier. Your coworkers don't respect you, their wives hate your guts, and society isn't quite sure exactly what you're trying to prove. Let's not contribute to this by dragging our own down with insistence that they adhere to some arbitrary standard of propriety that doesn't even exist within regulations. Let's instead shut these good old boys up about this stuff. It's in everybody's best interest for that to happen, because if female troops win this battle, it will set one hell of a precedent.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
War on Women, Health Care, Freedom of Choice... and little ol' me
Please note, this entry is extremely candid, and written from personal experience, so if you don't like it, please just scroll on past. It's about how completely screwed up the women's health care system is right now, and the battle I fought within that system for one year and one day. More importantly, it's about how it needs to improve, and that finally it seems to have done so in one small but significant way. If that seems like something you can stomach, read on.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A friend of mine from back in El Paso posted this article today. Of course anything in women's health is big to her since she's a midwife, but this one was really interesting to me because of the struggle I have gone through for one year and one day, ending just 12 hours ago. This "war on women" thing they talk about in the press is very real. There are a lot of barriers to good health care, and real freedom of choice. It's very strange the things people think they have the right to legislate on, or restrict, or the way regular people get pushed to the wayside in some big chess game of special interests and pharmaceutical companies.
You see, one year and one day ago, Chai was born. After both of my previous births, I went back to the CNM who attended those births, and had her place a copper IUD for me. It's the only form of contraception I'll use (well... as far as kinds a doctor or midwife has to hook you up with anyway). Chai's birth was different, though. It was a CPM attended homebirth, and CPM's do not have the authority to place IUD's like CNM's do, so in El Paso, my only option was to find a doctor to do it.
I really dislike doctors, especially OB/GYN's. I don't trust them. I don't like the awkwardness of how they always ask me about my births, and look at me funny when they find out that I don't birth in hospitals, and that my big babies weren't c-sections or inductions, and that I didn't have anything bad happen from birthing such large babies naturally, nowhere near a hospital. I know they think I'm reckless and maybe a little crazy, even though I know better. They are not part of my world, but in El Paso, there was no choice, so I chose a doctor a lot of people I know seem to like ok, whom I knew took my insurance, and scheduled an appointment. By then, Chai was 4 months old, since that's how long it took us to save up the copay on a simple office visit. Thak was working at BMW at that time, and making very little money. He said we'd scrape together the money and get my IUD one way or another, so I went ahead and did a consult for that when I went in. I ended up not scheduling a second appointment just because I knew there was no way we'd be able to afford it.
I had to go back in six months anyway because my pap came back abnormal and they wanted to repeat it, so I did. By that time, Thak was working at his current job, we had our HSA, and we could afford my IUD. I was so happy, and again, I had them do the workup for it. A week later, the office staff called me and told me that there was very good news. My pap came back normal (Yay!) and that my insurance company had approved my Mirena IUD, but my cost share would be 100% because my deductible wasn't met. Wait a minute, you never asked me what kind of IUD I wanted. I don't want a Mirena. It's full of hormones. I want Paragard, which is made of copper. I was told they don't do Paragard. I asked if they could order it in. No. I asked if they could order it in if I prepaid for it. No. Finally, I asked if I found another practice who would do it, if they would fax my records to them so I didn't have to go through it all again, and they said they would do that.
I called every doctor in El Paso who wasn't male (because I just don't do male doctors), and wasn't this one practice that I had a horrible experience with a couple years prior, and only one of them was even willing to do Paragard. I was so happy until they asked me what insurance I have. I told them I have United Healthcare, and they told me they were only accepting military patients, so I was out of luck. By then, Thak was due home from Maryland any day, and we were moving to GA, and I knew I could go back to the birth center I had Orren at, and they would do it for me, so I resigned myself to waiting a while longer.
When I arrived in GA, I set up an appointment. I had to wait a month for it, but I had an appointment finally, and I knew they would do it for me. Finally, the day came for my appointment, and everything went perfectly. Then all we had to do was wait for my records to be faxed from TX, then get my insurance company's approval, and then order in my IUD. All of this took another month, but today, a year and a day after Chai was born, I FINALLY got my IUD. We had to pay $800 for it. Thank goodness that Thak's firm matches our HSA contributions, or we would not have been able to afford it even now.
Some might look at this and say that the system didn't work against me, or that it's my own fault for being so picky, but while that may play a part, I don't think it's right to dismiss stories like mine off hand. I don't think I was asking too much. I don't want to fill my body with synthetic hormones that can give me cancer, bone loss, weight gain, and who knows what else, and I don't think that's wrong. I don't want to have a fourth baby. We can't afford one, and another pregnancy would not be good for me physically. For the longest, we couldn't afford to throw down an $800 copay to buy an IUD for me.
So what were we left with? Abstinence? (Yes, GOP, I'm sure you'd love to add that to your school curriculum. "Look, kids! We even encourage happily married couples in their 30's to use abstinence! It's that good!") Condoms? Natural family planning? These are all a total crap shoot. It is a miracle I didn't get pregnant again in the year I spent fighting the system and waiting. It really is. Thank goodness for breastfeeding and the way it inhibits fertility a bit, allowing some of these crap shoot methods to work a bit more effectively than they normally would. If I hadn't been breastfeeding, I know I would be expecting baby #4 right now, and not due to stupidity, laziness, or any failure of my own. I do not consider it a failure on my part that I was unwilling to use hormone based contraception with vast health consequences, nor give up an important part of my marriage. I don't think those are options anyone should have to be put in a position of taking.
It isn't right that the insurance that we pay a lot of money for each month isn't currently required to pick up the tab for IUD's. The change that the Obama administration has brought in requiring them to do that is a necessary one, and the sooner it becomes effective, the better. I found my way through the current mine field, but I don't wish that on anyone. I think anybody who's in my position should be able to walk into a doctor's office, tell them what form of contraception they want, and insurance pick up the tab for that. It's not asking much. This isn't welfare. This isn't a government handout. We pay a lot of money every month to have this insurance. It's crazy to pay hundreds a month in premiums and then they don't even cover half the stuff we need. Sure, they'd cover screenings I don't need until I'm 40 or 50 years old, but they won't cover the IUD I need when I'm 20 or 30. That makes absolutely no sense.
It's time to stop this war on women. I got through my part of it, and I'm ok. I feel a great sense of relief and calm now that I finally have what I need, and my life feels a lot more normal than it did even just yesterday. The fact that it was so hard to get to this point has to change, and I'm so glad it's going to. I really do not want to see friends go through this tomorrow, or my daughter in 20 years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A friend of mine from back in El Paso posted this article today. Of course anything in women's health is big to her since she's a midwife, but this one was really interesting to me because of the struggle I have gone through for one year and one day, ending just 12 hours ago. This "war on women" thing they talk about in the press is very real. There are a lot of barriers to good health care, and real freedom of choice. It's very strange the things people think they have the right to legislate on, or restrict, or the way regular people get pushed to the wayside in some big chess game of special interests and pharmaceutical companies.
You see, one year and one day ago, Chai was born. After both of my previous births, I went back to the CNM who attended those births, and had her place a copper IUD for me. It's the only form of contraception I'll use (well... as far as kinds a doctor or midwife has to hook you up with anyway). Chai's birth was different, though. It was a CPM attended homebirth, and CPM's do not have the authority to place IUD's like CNM's do, so in El Paso, my only option was to find a doctor to do it.
I really dislike doctors, especially OB/GYN's. I don't trust them. I don't like the awkwardness of how they always ask me about my births, and look at me funny when they find out that I don't birth in hospitals, and that my big babies weren't c-sections or inductions, and that I didn't have anything bad happen from birthing such large babies naturally, nowhere near a hospital. I know they think I'm reckless and maybe a little crazy, even though I know better. They are not part of my world, but in El Paso, there was no choice, so I chose a doctor a lot of people I know seem to like ok, whom I knew took my insurance, and scheduled an appointment. By then, Chai was 4 months old, since that's how long it took us to save up the copay on a simple office visit. Thak was working at BMW at that time, and making very little money. He said we'd scrape together the money and get my IUD one way or another, so I went ahead and did a consult for that when I went in. I ended up not scheduling a second appointment just because I knew there was no way we'd be able to afford it.
I had to go back in six months anyway because my pap came back abnormal and they wanted to repeat it, so I did. By that time, Thak was working at his current job, we had our HSA, and we could afford my IUD. I was so happy, and again, I had them do the workup for it. A week later, the office staff called me and told me that there was very good news. My pap came back normal (Yay!) and that my insurance company had approved my Mirena IUD, but my cost share would be 100% because my deductible wasn't met. Wait a minute, you never asked me what kind of IUD I wanted. I don't want a Mirena. It's full of hormones. I want Paragard, which is made of copper. I was told they don't do Paragard. I asked if they could order it in. No. I asked if they could order it in if I prepaid for it. No. Finally, I asked if I found another practice who would do it, if they would fax my records to them so I didn't have to go through it all again, and they said they would do that.
I called every doctor in El Paso who wasn't male (because I just don't do male doctors), and wasn't this one practice that I had a horrible experience with a couple years prior, and only one of them was even willing to do Paragard. I was so happy until they asked me what insurance I have. I told them I have United Healthcare, and they told me they were only accepting military patients, so I was out of luck. By then, Thak was due home from Maryland any day, and we were moving to GA, and I knew I could go back to the birth center I had Orren at, and they would do it for me, so I resigned myself to waiting a while longer.
When I arrived in GA, I set up an appointment. I had to wait a month for it, but I had an appointment finally, and I knew they would do it for me. Finally, the day came for my appointment, and everything went perfectly. Then all we had to do was wait for my records to be faxed from TX, then get my insurance company's approval, and then order in my IUD. All of this took another month, but today, a year and a day after Chai was born, I FINALLY got my IUD. We had to pay $800 for it. Thank goodness that Thak's firm matches our HSA contributions, or we would not have been able to afford it even now.
Some might look at this and say that the system didn't work against me, or that it's my own fault for being so picky, but while that may play a part, I don't think it's right to dismiss stories like mine off hand. I don't think I was asking too much. I don't want to fill my body with synthetic hormones that can give me cancer, bone loss, weight gain, and who knows what else, and I don't think that's wrong. I don't want to have a fourth baby. We can't afford one, and another pregnancy would not be good for me physically. For the longest, we couldn't afford to throw down an $800 copay to buy an IUD for me.
So what were we left with? Abstinence? (Yes, GOP, I'm sure you'd love to add that to your school curriculum. "Look, kids! We even encourage happily married couples in their 30's to use abstinence! It's that good!") Condoms? Natural family planning? These are all a total crap shoot. It is a miracle I didn't get pregnant again in the year I spent fighting the system and waiting. It really is. Thank goodness for breastfeeding and the way it inhibits fertility a bit, allowing some of these crap shoot methods to work a bit more effectively than they normally would. If I hadn't been breastfeeding, I know I would be expecting baby #4 right now, and not due to stupidity, laziness, or any failure of my own. I do not consider it a failure on my part that I was unwilling to use hormone based contraception with vast health consequences, nor give up an important part of my marriage. I don't think those are options anyone should have to be put in a position of taking.
It isn't right that the insurance that we pay a lot of money for each month isn't currently required to pick up the tab for IUD's. The change that the Obama administration has brought in requiring them to do that is a necessary one, and the sooner it becomes effective, the better. I found my way through the current mine field, but I don't wish that on anyone. I think anybody who's in my position should be able to walk into a doctor's office, tell them what form of contraception they want, and insurance pick up the tab for that. It's not asking much. This isn't welfare. This isn't a government handout. We pay a lot of money every month to have this insurance. It's crazy to pay hundreds a month in premiums and then they don't even cover half the stuff we need. Sure, they'd cover screenings I don't need until I'm 40 or 50 years old, but they won't cover the IUD I need when I'm 20 or 30. That makes absolutely no sense.
It's time to stop this war on women. I got through my part of it, and I'm ok. I feel a great sense of relief and calm now that I finally have what I need, and my life feels a lot more normal than it did even just yesterday. The fact that it was so hard to get to this point has to change, and I'm so glad it's going to. I really do not want to see friends go through this tomorrow, or my daughter in 20 years.
Monday, May 28, 2012
One Year!!!!
Today is HUGE. Not only is it Chai's real birthday (we had his party yesterday, and it was great), but today, I actually reached my breastfeeding goal. This is the first time I have ever made it this long, even though I've always known I should, and that it was the right thing to do. Something always kept me from it before, and in retrospect, I know it shouldn't have, but this time, I made it!!! It doesn't seem like a lot to most people, to breastfeed for a year. Most of my friends are still going strong at 2 or 3 years, and my one year doesn't look like anything great by comparison, but to me, this is a BIG deal.
We're not going to wean now or anything. It's still going to be Chai's decision when we wean, especially since he's only nursing a few times a day now, and drinking almond milk from a cup. I know not everyone agrees with giving 1-year-olds milk other than breastmilk, but I thought it would do no harm to start him on almond milk now just so if I have to leave him for any reason, Thak will be able to feed him, and he'll be used to it already. He's also skinny, and the extra calories won't hurt him a bit. He drinks water from a cup just fine, and herb tea (we found that out this weekend at grandma's house!), so why not almond milk, too, for more calories?
One year. Wow. I cannot believe it. It was hard at first, and we fought through a lot of difficulties to get to this point, but it's good to be here. I would go through all of it again if I had it to do over, because nursing Chai for the first year of his life may be one of the most worthwhile things I have ever done.
We're not going to wean now or anything. It's still going to be Chai's decision when we wean, especially since he's only nursing a few times a day now, and drinking almond milk from a cup. I know not everyone agrees with giving 1-year-olds milk other than breastmilk, but I thought it would do no harm to start him on almond milk now just so if I have to leave him for any reason, Thak will be able to feed him, and he'll be used to it already. He's also skinny, and the extra calories won't hurt him a bit. He drinks water from a cup just fine, and herb tea (we found that out this weekend at grandma's house!), so why not almond milk, too, for more calories?
One year. Wow. I cannot believe it. It was hard at first, and we fought through a lot of difficulties to get to this point, but it's good to be here. I would go through all of it again if I had it to do over, because nursing Chai for the first year of his life may be one of the most worthwhile things I have ever done.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Let me be stereotypical for a minute.
I have no love for military wives who blindly defend their husbands' work, as if since he does it, it must be good. I served in the Army, and I know that a great percentage of what our troops are used for is definitely not good. I think everyone needs to open their eyes to that. It's Memorial Day weekend, and everyone feels obligated to put in their two cents about the military, so I see a lot of stuff. Some of it gets cool points, like when people acknowledge that female troops exist by saying something like, "Take this weekend to remember all our men and women in the military who have made the ultimate sacrifice." Some of it is sweet. Some is cliche. Some of it is thought provoking. For the first time today, I encountered something that kind of pissed me off. Here it is:
If you can't see that, it's a dead Iraqi child, and it says "Memorial Day, Take this day to remember all the innocent children killed by Unmanned Aerial Vehicles."
OK, so obviously, as the wife of someone who's been in the UAV program practically since its inception as far as light UAV's for brigade level use are concerned anyway, this really pissed me off. I'm not one to be overly sensitive about Thak's work. We don't believe the war in Iraq ever should have happened, and we do not believe that the war in Afghanistan was necessary either, and certainly not for this long. We are pretty solidly anti-war. We are NOT the war mongering pieces of trash that a lot of people think we would be.
More importantly than that, my husband is not a baby killer. In fact, if he were to count how many lives he has saved by keeping his UAV's flying, it would be an impossible task. His planes do surveillance missions. They find the actual bad guys, the ones who are packing cars full of explosives, or standing on a rooftop with an AK-47 about to light up a marketplace, or burying a bomb in the sand by the side of the road. Then the commanders on the ground can use that information to coordinate strategic force on those people only. Do you have any idea how much less collateral damage there is this way than if you sent a platoon of grunts to patrol a village and see what they found?! I'm not hating on grunts. They have their place. Their place is a lot better defined with the help of UAV surveillance.
Yes, I am aware that some UAV's are armed with weapons platforms. That is a big development that has happened since Thak was selected for the UAV program. Since he does not work with that type of UAV's, that is not something I am going to speak on much. I will say, though, that it has its place, and sometimes, as crazy as this may sound, there is a lot less collateral damage by doing an aerial strike than there is by sending a ground unit in. The alternative is to let the terrorists capture innocent people, set up bombs, and place snipers wherever they want. That's what they do, and that's what they will do until we leave. (Yes, I believe we should leave. Last I checked, the folks in DC didn't ask me what I thought of it, though.)
We have a choice here. We can either hear an OCCASIONAL report of a UAV strike that missed, and had some awful consequence, or we can hear daily of whole platoons of US troops blown up while entire villages of innocent civilians were caught in the crossfire. Which would you rather hear about?
I sleep well at night knowing my husband does good work. I am proud that he is in the UAV program, and that he IS the eyes in the sky, and SAVING people's lives. Note that I did not say *American* lives. That's because he saved more Iraqis than he did Americans during his 3 tours there. We may not agree with that war or think it ever should have happened, but being in the UAV program, he did good work, and anyone who thinks the UAV program has made things worse obviously has not heard much about what it was like to fight without it in Vietnam. Think about it.
If you can't see that, it's a dead Iraqi child, and it says "Memorial Day, Take this day to remember all the innocent children killed by Unmanned Aerial Vehicles."
OK, so obviously, as the wife of someone who's been in the UAV program practically since its inception as far as light UAV's for brigade level use are concerned anyway, this really pissed me off. I'm not one to be overly sensitive about Thak's work. We don't believe the war in Iraq ever should have happened, and we do not believe that the war in Afghanistan was necessary either, and certainly not for this long. We are pretty solidly anti-war. We are NOT the war mongering pieces of trash that a lot of people think we would be.
More importantly than that, my husband is not a baby killer. In fact, if he were to count how many lives he has saved by keeping his UAV's flying, it would be an impossible task. His planes do surveillance missions. They find the actual bad guys, the ones who are packing cars full of explosives, or standing on a rooftop with an AK-47 about to light up a marketplace, or burying a bomb in the sand by the side of the road. Then the commanders on the ground can use that information to coordinate strategic force on those people only. Do you have any idea how much less collateral damage there is this way than if you sent a platoon of grunts to patrol a village and see what they found?! I'm not hating on grunts. They have their place. Their place is a lot better defined with the help of UAV surveillance.
Yes, I am aware that some UAV's are armed with weapons platforms. That is a big development that has happened since Thak was selected for the UAV program. Since he does not work with that type of UAV's, that is not something I am going to speak on much. I will say, though, that it has its place, and sometimes, as crazy as this may sound, there is a lot less collateral damage by doing an aerial strike than there is by sending a ground unit in. The alternative is to let the terrorists capture innocent people, set up bombs, and place snipers wherever they want. That's what they do, and that's what they will do until we leave. (Yes, I believe we should leave. Last I checked, the folks in DC didn't ask me what I thought of it, though.)
We have a choice here. We can either hear an OCCASIONAL report of a UAV strike that missed, and had some awful consequence, or we can hear daily of whole platoons of US troops blown up while entire villages of innocent civilians were caught in the crossfire. Which would you rather hear about?
I sleep well at night knowing my husband does good work. I am proud that he is in the UAV program, and that he IS the eyes in the sky, and SAVING people's lives. Note that I did not say *American* lives. That's because he saved more Iraqis than he did Americans during his 3 tours there. We may not agree with that war or think it ever should have happened, but being in the UAV program, he did good work, and anyone who thinks the UAV program has made things worse obviously has not heard much about what it was like to fight without it in Vietnam. Think about it.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Carseats
Because I just heard something completely horrifying (1-year-old in a booster!), I have to make a carseat post. A lot of parents are clueless on carseats. I was when Erin was little. I knew she had to be rear-facing at first, although I really didn't know why. I turned her at a year and 20 pounds because the research we have today on extended rear-facing had not been made available to the public yet. We didn't know when was the right time to go to a booster, or to stop using one. Our carseat research kicked off when Orren was about 4 months old and outgrew his infant seat. (Orren was a large baby.)
When we looked into it, we found that rear-facing is 500% safer in front and side impact crashes, and that those types of crashes make up 96% of crashes with injuries. We watched crash test videos, and saw how the shell of a rear-facing carseat supports the child's whole spine in a crash, and protects the head from injury. We also saw how the forward-facing child is flung with great force against the straps of their carseat, their limbs and head flailing forward into the seat in front of them, often causing fractures and concussions, in addition to spinal injury from the force of being flung forward and stopped abruptly by only a harness. It was clear to us before long that we would rear-face Orren for as long as we could.
Harnessing is another thing. Kids are safer in a 5-point harness than they are in a booster, especially if they're small for their age. Kids under 40 pounds are at risk for submarining in a booster. Submarining is where they slide under the seatbelt. Kids die of this because the seatbelt will strangle them. Erin was only 35 pounds when we learned about this. She went back into a harness for the next year and a half. Another factor for boostering, which wasn't an issue for Erin (or many girls) is that the kid must be capable of sitting still, and in a proper position for the entire car ride. Erin was fine on that front, but many kids don't reach that level of maturity until they're about 5 or 6 years old. A seatbelt won't work if the kid won't wear it right because they're popping around like jumping beans in the back seat. It's really common sense.
The law hasn't caught up to this stuff yet. The 1 year and 20 pounds rule still stands in all US states. Most states do not have a minimum booster age, although some of them say 4 years or 40 pounds (maybe some say 4 years and 40 pounds, I'm not sure). Many states require kids to use some type of seat, in compliance with manufacturer recommendations until 8 years or 4'9". That's the law in TX and GA, which are the states we've raised our kids in for the most part. I think the thing to remember is that just because you CAN doesn't mean that you necessarily SHOULD. I could forward-face Chai next week. He's 21 pounds and about to turn 1. I could booster Orren. I won't do this stuff, though, because it could be a death sentence to them in a crash if I did, and I could never live with myself if I didn't give them the best odds.
I want to do a little photographic rundown of seats that are good and not good.
Here's Erin at age 6 in a Graco Nautilus. Yes, I know it looks like her head is above the top of it. It isn't. The angle of the picture makes it look this way. Anyhow, this is what a big kid in a 5-point harness looks like. She was under 40 pounds in this pic, and would have potentially submarined in a booster, so a 5-point was way safer for her at that point in time.
This is Orren, about 15 months old and 28 pounds, rear-facing in his Radian XTSL. You can see Erin in the background in her Monterrey high-back booster. By the time this was taken, Erin had gone through a large growth spurt, and was over 40 pounds, therefore she did not run the risk of submarining in her booster.
Here's Orren at 3 years old, forward-facing in his Britax Marathon. He had outgrown the rear-facing height limit of this seat.
Now, here's a pic of what NOT to do. This is Orren last weekend, so about 3.5 years old, trying out a booster at Babies R Us! It would be totally legal to put him in this seat in the car since he meets the requirements to use it (3 years and 30 pounds). It would be a really bad idea to put him in this seat even though it fits him (actually, that head rest would need to go up a click. This seat would actually fit a kid smaller than Orren!) because at only 33 pounds, he would face a high risk of submarining in a crash. This would be a great seat for him to use in a couple years when he's not only over 40 pounds, but also mature enough to sit still for a whole car ride. (If you know Orren, you know he's not there yet!)
Now, just because this one is adorable, here are Orren and Chai (5 months and almost 3 years) both rear-facing in Radians, and cuddled up in a silk veil, coming home from a long day with mommy's bellydance troupe.
This is my favorite one of all. This is a chart that shows how the spine develops from cartilage to bone over the course of years. This is how it goes regardless of your baby's weight, head control, muscle tone, or any other factor. This is why it is so important for kids to rear-face to at least age 3.
When we looked into it, we found that rear-facing is 500% safer in front and side impact crashes, and that those types of crashes make up 96% of crashes with injuries. We watched crash test videos, and saw how the shell of a rear-facing carseat supports the child's whole spine in a crash, and protects the head from injury. We also saw how the forward-facing child is flung with great force against the straps of their carseat, their limbs and head flailing forward into the seat in front of them, often causing fractures and concussions, in addition to spinal injury from the force of being flung forward and stopped abruptly by only a harness. It was clear to us before long that we would rear-face Orren for as long as we could.
Harnessing is another thing. Kids are safer in a 5-point harness than they are in a booster, especially if they're small for their age. Kids under 40 pounds are at risk for submarining in a booster. Submarining is where they slide under the seatbelt. Kids die of this because the seatbelt will strangle them. Erin was only 35 pounds when we learned about this. She went back into a harness for the next year and a half. Another factor for boostering, which wasn't an issue for Erin (or many girls) is that the kid must be capable of sitting still, and in a proper position for the entire car ride. Erin was fine on that front, but many kids don't reach that level of maturity until they're about 5 or 6 years old. A seatbelt won't work if the kid won't wear it right because they're popping around like jumping beans in the back seat. It's really common sense.
The law hasn't caught up to this stuff yet. The 1 year and 20 pounds rule still stands in all US states. Most states do not have a minimum booster age, although some of them say 4 years or 40 pounds (maybe some say 4 years and 40 pounds, I'm not sure). Many states require kids to use some type of seat, in compliance with manufacturer recommendations until 8 years or 4'9". That's the law in TX and GA, which are the states we've raised our kids in for the most part. I think the thing to remember is that just because you CAN doesn't mean that you necessarily SHOULD. I could forward-face Chai next week. He's 21 pounds and about to turn 1. I could booster Orren. I won't do this stuff, though, because it could be a death sentence to them in a crash if I did, and I could never live with myself if I didn't give them the best odds.
I want to do a little photographic rundown of seats that are good and not good.
Here's Erin at age 6 in a Graco Nautilus. Yes, I know it looks like her head is above the top of it. It isn't. The angle of the picture makes it look this way. Anyhow, this is what a big kid in a 5-point harness looks like. She was under 40 pounds in this pic, and would have potentially submarined in a booster, so a 5-point was way safer for her at that point in time.
This is Orren, about 15 months old and 28 pounds, rear-facing in his Radian XTSL. You can see Erin in the background in her Monterrey high-back booster. By the time this was taken, Erin had gone through a large growth spurt, and was over 40 pounds, therefore she did not run the risk of submarining in her booster.
Here's Orren at 3 years old, forward-facing in his Britax Marathon. He had outgrown the rear-facing height limit of this seat.
Now, here's a pic of what NOT to do. This is Orren last weekend, so about 3.5 years old, trying out a booster at Babies R Us! It would be totally legal to put him in this seat in the car since he meets the requirements to use it (3 years and 30 pounds). It would be a really bad idea to put him in this seat even though it fits him (actually, that head rest would need to go up a click. This seat would actually fit a kid smaller than Orren!) because at only 33 pounds, he would face a high risk of submarining in a crash. This would be a great seat for him to use in a couple years when he's not only over 40 pounds, but also mature enough to sit still for a whole car ride. (If you know Orren, you know he's not there yet!)
Now, just because this one is adorable, here are Orren and Chai (5 months and almost 3 years) both rear-facing in Radians, and cuddled up in a silk veil, coming home from a long day with mommy's bellydance troupe.
This is my favorite one of all. This is a chart that shows how the spine develops from cartilage to bone over the course of years. This is how it goes regardless of your baby's weight, head control, muscle tone, or any other factor. This is why it is so important for kids to rear-face to at least age 3.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Glass Gem Corn?! Sign me up!
I just got on the waiting list for seeds for Glass Gem Corn! Is this not the coolest looking thing you have ever seen?! Unfortunately, you can't eat it off the cob like sweet corn, but it's great for popping, so I want to grow it anyway. My kids love popcorn, and I'm always having to go out of my way to find popping corn that isn't GMO. This is definitely something we would use. It's so beautiful! The minute I saw it, I knew it was definitely part of my farming bucket list.
They say there are going to be a lot of seeds available in October of this year, so maybe I will have the opportunity to buy some then. I just hope I got onto the waiting list early enough to get some this year so I can plant them next year. If not, then I'll just be waiting longer. But WOW. This corn. How could we not want to grow it?! I've never seen anything else like it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
