Choices, or something.

Today I was accused of being a judgmental, rude, mean, bully who contributes to the "mommy wars".  My offense?  Asking someone why they were planning on circumcising their son. I didn't say what I was really thinking, which was, "OMG WHY?!! THAT'S DISGUSTING!!".  I simply asked why they were planning on doing that.  If you know me, you know that I think circumcision is disgusting, and a total human rights violation.  The US is the only western nation with a circ rate above 10%.  We are way behind the times.  Other countries are putting out strong statements against it, and some have made it illegal (GO FINLAND!!)  The US hasn't gotten the memo, because parents continue to use shoddy logic to make their decision on this issue. I've gone through all the common reasons that people do this, and they're all easily overturned by simple logic and common sense.

I suspect this is why people get so defensive over it.  I honestly believe that a person who's confident in their decisions won't go nuts on someone who asks "Why did you choose that?"  As a homebirth mom who does not circumcise ever, nor vaccinate much, and who is breastfeeding beyond one year (ok, as of next week, we'll be beyond the one year mark), I'm really used to being asked why I do the things I do.  I don't mind explaining it. 

Why did I homebirth?  Because birth isn't an emergency.  Because I'm capable of it. Because birth tends to go better when there are no interventions.  Because I am more comfortable on my own turf.  Because it's safe when you have a good midwife with you, like I did. 

Why am I breastfeeding beyond a year? Because it's biologically appropriate for our species, and every medical association in the world recommends it.

Why don't I circumcise? Because my son's bodies are theirs, not mine, and it isn't my decision to make.  Because there's no compelling reason to do it, and no medical association in the world recommends it.  Because it's harmful, and over 100 babies a year die of it.  Not to mention, NOT doing it is reversible.  My sons can decide to have it done if they want to later (although that's really unlikely).  They couldn't put it back if they decided they didn't want it done. (Google "foreskin restoration" if you doubt that any man would ever want it back. Over 250,000 do.)

Why do we forgo most vaccinations?  Because most of the diseases we vaccinate for are less harmful than the ingredients of the vaccines. Because vaccines compromise the immune system.  Because I know people who are vaccine injured, and it's a really serious thing. Also because my kids' bodies are theirs and not mine, and they can choose to get more vaccines when they are able to read up and make their own decision.

I will gladly explain this stuff to anybody because my decisions are good.  They are supported by science and backed up by logic.  A person who gets defensive over their choices and uses lines like, "My kid, my choice." knows on some level that they didn't do their homework, and isn't very confident in their decision. 

I don't know why so many people think it's asking too much, to think, to step outside your comfort zone, and to really learn.  I used to think vaccines were great. I used to think homebirth was cool, but not something I'd ever be willing to do.  I used to think circumcision was no big deal.  Maybe it is my background in the sciences (hey, engineering is a science, an applied science!) but I cannot do anything that I don't research thoroughly and believe in enough to explain confidently to those who question.  It was when I researched that I learned that circumcision is completely unnecessary, and can be harmful.  I learned that homebirth is safe and recommended for people like me.  I learned that vaccines are not a cut and dry thing, and that just taking the doctor's word for it is to do my children a disservice. Only when I stepped outside my comfort zone did I learn.  If I'd been so stuck in "the way things have always been done", I wouldn't know most of the things I know about this stuff, and I would not have made informed choices.  I'd probably also say things like, "My kid, my choice." and "Don't judge me for making a different choice than you made." just like these people who cannot answer a simple question.

Basically, the idea is, if you get completely defensive when asked why you think what you think, or do what you do, then you probably need to consider what logic you're using to arrive at that decision.

I'll also leave this here, because it's a great article, and raises good points.
50 reasons to leave it alone