One year... of milkies

Coming up on Chai's first birthday, it is a little surreal that we are still breastfeeding.  It's not that I didn't want to breastfeed for this long, or that I even consider it a particularly long time in general.  I know it's not a long time compared to a lot of places around the world, and I have always known it was important to breastfeed for at least this long.  Theoretically, I've also known how to do it, and exactly why.  It's just, in spite of all my preparation and general knowledge on the subject, I haven't made it this long before.  Breastfeeding is very difficult, and a lot of the common advice has proven to be total garbage for me.  Yes, it can absolutely be painful, even if you're doing it right. (That may be my biggest annoyance.  "If it hurts, it's because you have a bad latch."  No.  It was excruciating for me at first, even with a perfect latch.)  I fought through a lot to get to this point, and sometimes I'm still fighting, although the battles are less now.  In spite of all this, I will never ever regret one minute I spent breastfeeding.  It has been the most amazing thing, and the benefits are so obvious.

Making it to a year feels like a big weight has been lifted from my shoulders.  Now, if there were any reason I had to quit breastfeeding, Chai would be ok.  He could drink almond milk, and be totally fine.  Even if I didn't have to quit breastfeeding, but I did have to leave Chai with Thak for an afternoon or something, feeding him wouldn't be an issue, even though we have no milk in the freezer.  He could give him solid foods and almond milk, and I could nurse him when I got home.

I could wean now if I wanted to.  I won't say it hasn't crossed my mind.  I'm not going to, though.  My reasons for not weaning yet are simple.  More than anything, Chai is still a baby, and he still needs his milkies.  The health benefits are substantial in the second year of life.  While he would be fine without it, he's better with it.  The other thing is, it makes my life easier in some ways.  When he gets hurt or upset, he always wants to nurse.  It's the quickest and easiest way to comfort him when he falls down, or big brother snatches his toy away.  I don't know how else I would comfort him since he's so used to nursing for comfort.  I don't know how else I would get him to sleep when he wakes up in the middle of the night other than to nurse him.  Basically, I do not know how I would wean him right now, which tells me that he is not ready yet.

Here's to a year of breastfeeding, and another year to come.  I never thought i would make it to this point, but I did, and the accomplishment feels even better than I had imagined.