You ain't goin' crazy, it's all in your head.

A cookie if you can name the band that sings the song the title is a lyric from. (OK, if you don't know, it's Diamond Rio, and the name of the song is "It's All In Your Head".)

I was reminded of this lyric lately because it occurred to me that everyone around me seems to think they're being judged left and right, but they're really not. It's all in their heads.

I semi-recently tried to advise a teen mom on carseat safety. She was very hostile toward me, even though she was wrong, dead wrong, in her practice, and I was friendly and upbeat in my approach. I was telling a friend what a bitch that girl was, and how I felt sorry for her kids because if they ever get in an accident, they're as good as dead, and this friend told me, "But think about it, Anna. Young moms are always being judged. I remember when D was little, everyone used to give me dirty looks." OK, this friend had her daughter D when she was 21, the same age I was when I had Erin. I seriously cannot ever recall being judged for being a young mom. Maybe it's my inability to understand non-verbal communication, but I cannot ever recall being given a dirty look, or receiving a rude comment, because I had Erin when I was young... and I was even single! None of the girls I know who claim to get judged all the time are single.

This leads me to one conclusion. It's all in their heads. Nobody gives half a crap what age you were when you had your kids. I've seen some older moms with some heinously ignorant practices, and I've met a mom who was 15 when her son was born, and she breastfed for 3 years, cloth diapered exclusively, scraped together pennies to buy her son the same carseat Orren has and rear-faced him until Kindergarten, and got a community garden plot so she could grow her own organic veggies to feed her son. Age doesn't mean anything when it comes to being a good parent, and I'm 100% sure society has gotten the memo. Young moms, from a fellow young mom, I'm telling you, it's all in your head. Nobody is judging you.

It occurred to me again yesterday when Thak told me he was getting tons of dirty looks for not speaking Spanish. I told him straight-up that it's all in his head. I've never seen anyone give him a dirty look for not speaking Spanish. You know, some days I don't want to speak Spanish either, so I only speak English on those days. I'm in the US, and it's my right to speak English if I want to, even here on the border. Nobody has ever given me a dirty look for not speaking Spanish on the days when I choose not to. Anyone who thinks they get dirty looks for speaking English is seeing things. It's in their head.

I think it comes down to insecurity. People who had kids young are often insecure about that decision, and think people will judge them, so in their minds, they make it so. Thak is insecure that he doesn't speak Spanish, so he makes himself think people are giving him dirty looks for it. It's plain as day.

I can't honestly think of one thing I'm insecure about. I don't make decisions unless they're well-researched. If I don't speak the language somewhere, I'll learn it. If anyone wants to question my decisions or my commitment to something, they can do that, because I'll have an answer for them on exactly why I did what I did, an answer that I believe fully in. I don't do things I'm iffy on. I urge anyone who's insecure about something and thinks people are judging them for it, to investigate why that is, and make that decision right with themselves in some way. If YOU feel right about what you're doing, you'll find that society does, too.