Cut female soldiers some slack.

Lately, for some reason, there has been a bit of conversation about female soldiers who "date military guy after military guy", as if it's a bad thing. OK, it is also important to know that there is a civilian phenomenon called "tag chasing", which basically consists of a civilian girl dating nothing but military guys, trying to get one to marry her for benefits, or whatever. Thak's ex-wife is a good example of a "tag chaser". The idea is that these female soldiers who date nothing but military guys are just as bad. I say that's not true.

First, let's look at it practically. I'm trying to think if I ever saw a civilian guy my age the entire time I was in the Army. I was in a battalion with 100 males to every female, and all of us were in uniform. I was surrounded by guys all day, every day, and they were all in the military, just like me. Where the hell would your average female soldier even meet anything but military guys in the first place? While a civilian girl has to sort of go out of her way to meet soldiers, if that's her intention, a female soldier would have to go out of her way NOT to meet soldiers. I say it's not a form of "tag chasing" when a female soldier dates nothing but male soldiers. I say it's the law of probability in action.

Second, let's also remember what soldiers are. Soldiers are people. People of a certain age, who are single, date. Usually, in a lifetime, people date quite a few people. Nothing in my enlistment contract forbade me from continuing to do that. Of course your average late teens or 20-something soldier dates a lot of people. Your average civilian of the same age does the same thing. Of course most, if not all, of the guys the female soldier dates are also soldiers. See point 1. There is nothing abnormal about this.

Third, So what if a lot of female soldiers get married to guys who are higher ranking than they are? In the civilian world, isn't it rather common to see couples in which the husband is a bit older and more accomplished than the wife? We are biologically programmed to like this kind of thing. Why should putting on a uniform relegate a female soldier to dating and marrying only her own rank? As one who was lower-enlisted, I've just got to say, have you SEEN the guys my rank?? If you did, you'd probably understand why a lot of lower-enlisted girls won't date lower-enlisted guys. I always dated higher ranking guys because they were more interesting, and generally older than me, which is nice. I married Thak, who is higher ranking and older, not for any ulterior motive, but because that is how things worked out.

Also, most girls don't enlist just to meet guys. I actually can't even think of a single one I know who did. Sure, it's a nice side-effect of enlisting, that you're surrounded 24 hours a day by eligible guys, many of whom are fit and attractive. The Army is a buyer's market, so to speak. (So is your average engineering program, yet people don't talk major trash on female engineering students.) That's a really stupid reason to enlist, though, and nobody that I've ever met did it for that reason. The allegation that this is the motive for female soldiers' enlistments, is frankly, a little insulting. Most of us enlisted for the same reasons as male soldiers do.... see the world, have an adventure, get a steady paycheck, pay for college... you know the drill. Female soldiers' motives are no better or worse than those of male soldiers.

This goes back to the single most unexpected thing about serving in the Army. I had no idea that for the rest of my life, everything about my life would be called into question because the Army was a significant step on my way to where I am. No, I never would have met Thak if I had not enlisted. Yes, we have kids together, and I stay home with them. This does not mean that I enlisted with the malicious purpose of snagging myself a higher ranking guy to entrap so that he has to support me. I am not "too ugly to meet guys on the outside". I am not a "desert queen". I am a regular person who met my husband at work. Sounds pretty normal when I put it that way, doesn't it? Well, it IS normal. Everything about the way the majority of female soldiers live their lives is normal. Stop acting like it's not.