We are what we are, and it is what it is.

Our situation, as everyone knows, is interesting as of late. Yes, Thak made a stupid choice to get out of the Army. He knows it. He even said that he knows that if his dad were alive to stop him from getting out, he never would have done it, and that there's no way his dad would have stood for him doing this to us. So the fact is, he knows what he did, and he's trying to fix it. I don't know how far we're going to have to fall before something works, but something will work eventually, and until then, we'll figure things out somehow, even if it is scary at times.

One thing irritates the crap out of me, though. Everybody has an opinion about what we should be doing, and it's always based on their personal experience. Again, this plays into my ultimate pet peeve about the military. It's the whole "everybody's the same" thing. Everybody is not the same, in the Army or out. We're not the same. We're all different. We have different credentials, different experience, different qualifications. This means that what applies to one will not apply to everybody.

I know a ton of people whose husbands got out previously, and came right back in when things got tough. None of them lasted on the outside as long as we have so far, even. I hear every day about how Thak needs to just go back into the Army and get it over with. Here's the problem. Thak is a lot different than these people's husbands. These people are married to guys who got out as Privates, and who are at least ten years younger than Thak is, and do not have the injuries that come of three combat tours. In fact, they have no combat experience at all, any of them. They also did no preparation at all for getting out. They don't have degrees. They didn't have jobs lined up at all. They were just pretty much, and pardon me for this, your stereotypical lazy lower-enlisted who thinks he can make more money for less effort on the outside. As we all know, that's just a barracks rumor, and only a Private believes it.

Thak is different. This is what Thak is:

18 years in uniform
3 combat tours, and well known missions
uncommon medals
Degree that translates military experience into civilian terms
Extensive civilian licensing in his field
Lots of connections within his field, both military and civilian

Also, might I add that Thak has a job, one that he works about 12 hours a day at, and that he works AT LEAST six days a week every week. He works 6 days a week in the shop when he doesn't have drill, and on drill weekends, he works 7 days a week because drill is Saturday and Sunday. I dislike the comments that he's being lazy, or isn't working hard enough. He's busting his ass every day. He just went into a field that will not easily support our family. We're honestly trying to figure out how all his coworkers live on this pay. He is absolutely loved by the management because he works so hard, and is so good at his job, and his manager is trying to get him another big raise in order to keep him from leaving. He was even offered a position as a night instructor at his college. He'll take it if it comes through. It would give us enough to live on. His managers at the shop don't like the idea of him working at night, too, but they also understand that he's going to do what he has to do. The point is, Thak is working hard. While it is his fault that we are in this position, because it was him who just had to throw away 14 years of Active Duty, it's not like he isn't trying to make it work. It's not like he's being a lazy ass now that he's out here. He's trying so hard. It's not enough, and we all know it, but the point remains, I don't appreciate the implication that my husband is sitting on his ass pounding Boston Lager, when really, I barely see him since he's working so hard fixing every broke ass BMW in west Texas. His boss even got onto him because he stopped taking lunch breaks so he can bill more hours. That is not something that happens to lazy people.

What's more, I am tired of being told Thak should "just go back into the Army", and then being told that it was so easy for this person or that one to do it, or that Thak is BS'ing me about what the recruiter told him when he called to inquire about going back in. OK, here's the most un-PC thing you're going to read all day long, and please remember that I served as a lower-enlisted soldier when you read this. Lower-enlisted soldiers are a dime a dozen. There are thousands of slots, and really anyone with some marginal level of physical fitness, and at least an average IQ, can fill any one of them. If they don't have a slot in the current job of a specific lower-enlisted soldier, it is easy to retrain them to some other job, and really nothing significant would be lost or sacrificed. It doesn't work that way for someone like Thak. At his rank, there has to be a slot open somewhere, and he has to be accepted to take it. There were no slots available when he called. That's not surprising considering his MOS is rather small, and there are not many slots to begin with. Sure, he could reclass, but that would require his Reserve unit to approve it, which it is doubtful, because they need him where he is. Plus, the MOS's that are available to him now are more limited since he has documented injuries, and official physical limitations (like he can't run anymore, by order of an orthopedist). He can't just go be a grunt like he was when he was 17. That ship sailed sometime around the arrival of his 3rd combat tour, and his Bronze Star medal.

This isn't all bad, though. All those years of experience give him a laundry list of connections, some of them in the private sector. Being that he was wise before leaving Active Duty, and got some civilian education that makes his military experience make sense to the civilian market, those connections WILL be able to do something for him. It may not be immediate, and there's no telling which connection it will come from, but there are a lot of angles to work, and they are because Thak has been in his field for so long, and earned a lot of respect in that field. If you ask anyone in UAV's, or generator work, who's been around the Army for 10 years or more if they know him, they will definitely know him or at least know who he is, and will probably tell you he's one of the best NCO's they ever worked with. That's because these are small job fields, of course, but also because he is good enough to be memorable, and to have had a pivotal role in certain things.

So pretty much, our situation is a lot different than a lot of people's. It's not that I'm saying we're better or worse, or anything like that. It's just that the situation is not the same as the average private who decides to get out after a few years. We have more working for us, and more working against us. We have never let what works against us win, ever, and we don't intend to start that now, so the key thing we remember is that we have a lot in our corner, and while some of it has not panned out the way we might have hoped it would, we have not exhausted even half of our options yet, and there is a lot that we are holding out hope for. We don't rule out Thak going back to Active Duty. It is an option. He's calling the recruiter again in a week, in fact, to see if there's a slot. It's just that that's not our only option by far.

I promise not to judge your life by mine, if you promise not to judge my life by yours. Our lives are different. We will be fine one way or another, but my solution may not look a thing like yours, and that's totally expected and fine.