But I don't WANT to own them...

Other parents of special needs kids scare the crap out of me when they talk about the way they have to deal with the schools.

"You OWN them with your IEP."
"When they see me coming, they know they better act right."
"Run the show."
"Even if you have to get in the Superintendent's face like I did, make them give you what you want."
"I tell them how it's going to be, and they have to do it."


Here's me:

"My daughter has several learning disabilities. I moved her to a school with a style of instruction that suited her, people who would help us, and few enough kids that she gets a lot of individual attention."


Doesn't my way sound easier? It occurred to me that it would kill me to be in these other people's shoes. I don't want to fight anybody, get in anybody's face, or run any show. I want to just say, "Hey, my kid is learning disabled. She needs help in this way. Will you help her?" and they say, "Yes, we'll help her." and then do it. That's what's happened at her school. Sure, the principal is kind of a butthead, and won't give her an LD label on her IEP, but I'm not worried about labels as long as she is getting the help she needs, and she is. I didn't have to fight anybody for it. I took her diagnosis in, showed it to her teacher, he showed it to the special ed teacher, and the next day, Erin was receiving the help she needed. She's a different kid today than she was just six months ago. She can write almost a full sentence, hardly misspelling anything. She can read a little. She gets about half of her spelling words right every week. She's nowhere near grade level, but she's improving drastically, and I didn't have to fight anybody for it, or run anybody's show. I just said my kid needed help to learn, and they helped her.

I don't want to be a scary special needs parent. I hope I never have to be. Don't get me wrong, I'd do anything for Erin's well being, but I really don't WANT to have to be mean and nasty to people just to get them to help her. I'm glad I haven't been in that position before. These other parents, honestly, kind of scare the crap out of me.