Face, meet palm.

Holy crap, one of my friends just blogged her birth story. I hadn't seen her since her son was born about a month ago, just because she has been super busy with relatives in town, the baby being in the hospital for failure to thrive, and everything else in the world you can imagine. So a month out, this girl wrote her birth story. I am so floored that I had to read it to Thak just so he could tell me this shit really said what I thought it said.

Let me just say that stories like that one, and mostly the fact that they're considered very normal successful births in any given hospital (especially military hospital) are THE #1 reason I literally RAN out of Winn Army Community Hospital after visiting the OB department there when I was only 5 weeks pregnant with Orren. I knew from the moment I stepped through the doorway that it was not a safe place to have a baby. I lasted five minutes before I ran out. Literally, picked up Erin, and RAN. The vibe of the place was just that bad. The fact that stuff like this girl's birth happen there on the regular, is why I couldn't even stand to be there, far less consent to birth there. Later that day, I called the birth center, and found out they were doing open house two days later. We went to it, and met Nancy. We knew we were in the right place with the right people, so we went with it, and months later, Nancy caught Orren as he came into the world on his own terms. That's a damned sight better than what we would have had in the butcher shop we were expected to go to.

This girl's birth story reminds me of what could have been, what a bullet me and Orren dodged, and how right we are to continue to stand out of the way of similar bullets this time. She not only was convinced that she needed an induction at 39 weeks, but actually let these people try to dilate her cervix with a balloon thingie, AND she let them give her THREE doses of Cytotec!! Cytotec is literally the most deadly thing in obstetrics. It's not even FDA approved for labor induction, but that's what they use it for. It causes extremely intense contractions that lead to a major increase in the rate of uterine rupture, and oh yeah, death for mom and baby. (No, uterine rupture does not always cause death. Add Cytotec, and it is more likely to.) In all, there are Cytotec death stories all over the place. You don't even have to look hard to find them. It's that common. Knowing that, there is no way in hell anyone would ever come within 10 feet of me with Cytotec unless it was for an extremely severe postpartum hemorrhage. This girl, however, was induced with a bulb in her cervix and three doses of devil spit. That's nice.

Long story short, she got bamboozled into getting an epidural (because some nurse said it was necessary?? Since when do we listen to nurses on stuff like that?). The baby got an electrode in his scalp because apparently being strapped to a regular monitor just isn't enough. Then there were about five more monitors. Then shit went downhill, and they gave a drug to stop the contractions they started with the Cytotec, and were pretty much about to go for a c-section, when the "midwife" (and I'm using that term very loosely) did an internal exam, and decided it was time to push, so that's what happened, and this tiny 6 pound (most likely mildly premature) baby was finally born.

Holy crap. I have no words for that. Honestly, if that stuff happened to me, I don't know that I'd even admit to it because I know better than to allow people to do that stuff to me in the first place. If some asshole scheduled me for an induction for absolutely no reason, especially before 43 weeks, I wouldn't show up. They can't make me. Secondly, if someone came at me with a foley bulb and told me they were going to put it in my cervix, I would run. If they brought Cytotec into the same room as me, and expected me to actually take the stuff, I would throw it at them, and then run. There is NO WAY I would allow myself to be placed in that situation, and I have no idea why anyone would. This girl knew better. That birth story was shocking, honestly, just plain shocking. I couldn't even say anything, because if I did, it would be, "This is why I homebirth."

Dear hospital birth "professionals":

Be ashamed. This stuff is BS.

Sincerely,
A Non-sheep