I really do feel for these girls who are doing hospital births these days. Nobody bothers to educate them on anything. The "classes" they are encouraged to take amount to tours of the hospital, and explanations of their options for drugs, and stuff like that. There's absolutely no focus from anybody on actually helping them learn about how labor starts, and how they can manage it for themselves. This is essential even for those who are, for some unfathomable reason, dead set on having medicated births, because they will have to get through early labor without medication, and if they don't know how, it's not going to go well. So here's my common sense advice for those who haven't heard this stuff before. I learned this from a total of six midwives who have tended me during my three pregnancies (three the first time, two the second time, and one the third time), as well as countless books I have read on natural birth, midwifery, and related topics.
1) Labor is uncomfortable. Expect it. While the contractions are still pretty mild, practice breathing through them, and see what you like for relaxation techniques. Some enjoy meditating to some music (I like silence, but I'm in the minority on that). Some enjoy a warm bath. Some like alternating hot and cold. While the contractions are mild, that's the time to find out what's going to work for you, because when it gets more intense, that's no time to be experimenting.
2) Tensing up during contractions make them hurt about 1000 times worse than if you will just breathe deeply and relax. Tensing your body is actually working against what it is trying to do, so it will hurt a lot more if you do that. You CAN do this. Remember that thousands and thousands of years of evolution have refined you for this noble purpose, and you are more than strong enough. Just breathe through it, and you will be fine.
3) Keep your sounds low. Screaming will make your cervix pucker. OK, not literally, but it sure won't make it dilate! Keeping your sounds low, along with keeping your body relaxed, will help you dilate faster. If your husband happens to be home for the birth, the really cool thing is that it can be his job to help you keep your sounds low. If he hears you getting too high pitched, he can bring you back down again. Try to match the deep pitch of his voice. You probably won't be able to, but you'll be going in the right direction by trying. Don't worry about sounding ridiculous while moaning away like that. What else would people expect a woman in labor to sound like?
4) Gravity is your friend. It is very good to walk around during labor. It is also helpful to squat, and to sit in the bath, and even to kneel and lean on the wall. What do all these have in common? Your body is vertical. This brings the baby down, and makes your contractions a lot more productive than they would be if you were lying down.
5) Just as babies are born when they are ready, they are also positioned the way they are supposed to be. Some babies just need to be posterior, or breech, or any other variation on the "normal" everyone expects. Don't ever accept a c-section due to presentation unless it is absolutely undeliverable under any circumstances (shoulder presentation, transverse lie, etc). In the state of Texas, it is legal to deliver breech babies naturally, even at home or in birth centers. If your hospital midwife is not comfortable with delivering a baby of the presentation yours is taking, insist that they bring you one who will do it. I can tell you, proof positive, that they exist in this city. Don't be scared of a natural birth with a uncommon presentation. They are all just different forms of normal.
6) If you have a problem working with one of the midwives in the practice you are receiving care from, you need to let someone know, because that way, it can be noted in your file and that person will not show up at your birth. The last thing you need while in labor, is to be assisted by someone you don't like. Take care of this beforehand so that you only are dealing with people you know, trust, and like while you are in labor. Nothing will stall you faster than stress, and it's stressful to deal with people you don't like, so this is very important.
Like I said, these are common sense things that a lot of people don't seem to know these days. It's very strange to hear how ill-prepared so many people are for birth. I know what a lot of people are thinking. "Easy for you to say, Anna. You've had easy births, no inductions, no c-sections..." Yes, it is true that both of my children have been born when they decided they were ready, and they were born the way nature intended, but to say both were easy births is incorrect. Erin was what any hospital midwife or doctor would call "extremely poorly positioned", and I recently found out that at our local Army hospital, that presentation would have been an automatic c-section. Obviously that is not necessary, because I managed to get Erin out without resorting to those lengths, but it was a difficult labor. It was about 10x as painful as Orren's, and all in my back. Ultimately, I pushed out a baby who was facing the wrong way, and was a pound bigger than the national average. It was not an easy birth, but it was a feasible birth, and because I did that, and went on to have a perfect birth with Orren, I truly believe that success or failure depends on how educated the mom is on the process.
I really think that the one thing that stood between me and major surgery for Erin's birth was the education I received from my midwives on the process, and the helpful and practical advice I'd picked up along the way about how to manage labor. Lacking this, Erin would have been a c-section baby, Orren would have had to be a hospital birth and quite possibly a repeat c-section, and I for damned sure would not be planning a homebirth for this one, if I even dared to have another baby after all that! Because I knew the process, and had practical tools for managing along the way, I had a successful birth the first time, which left my options open for the next time, and the next. It's invaluable.
Knowledge really is power. I understand. Some people are mainstream. Some people can't stand to read Ina May Gaskin because of the hippie lingo in every single book (although I personally find that fun and endearing!). Not everyone likes the tone of Henci Goer's guide. I get it. I also get that a lot of people think I'm a real nutjob for avoiding hospital birth like the plague, refusing the majority of prenatal testing, and relying on herbal tinctures to prevent potentially harmful conditions. You know what? That's ok! The tips I mentioned here don't require hippie roots, or a desire for a totally natural birth. They are useful for any human being, and will make the birth you end up with better. Maybe it's in a hospital. Maybe you get an epidural when you're at 4 cm. Maybe you like IV's and find the beep of the monitor (they beep, right?) comforting. That's all fine. This stuff will still help you to have a better birth.
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