Fear da big skeery choicez.

I swear, I don't know why I even try anymore. People always complain about how bad they have it in the cut rate, awful, military health system, or in the cut rate, awful, local public schools, and then TOTALLY bitch me out when I explain that I don't deal with any of that, and then tell them how they can get what I have. I mean, the insurance plan I have is available to anybody who would ever find themselves treated at a military facility, and the school my kid goes to still is accepting applications for all grades. It isn't full. These are GREAT options for people.

I get the feeling that people think I'm acting like I'm better than them when I suggest that they do these things, but that's so not it at all. I'm really just trying to save them the YEARS of trouble I went through to get to the point I'm at. I really WISH someone had come up to me when I married Thak, and said, "Anna, don't go on Tricare Prime. You will go through hell trying to get appointments. The same doctor will never see your kid twice. You will hardly be able to get seen at all. Sure it's free, but you get every bit of what you pay for. Standard will have you paying copays, but it won't break the bank. You probably won't even pay out $100 a year." I WISH somebody had told me that from the get-go, but you know what? I am so thankful to the kindly Sergeant Major's wife who, nearly four years in, told me all of these things, and really was willing to break it down for me by the numbers. If not for her, I may never have seen this as a viable option, and Orren probably would have been born by c-section in the butcher shop, er, Army hospital maternity department, as opposed to being born perfectly in an independent, free-standing, birth center.

That Sergeant Major's wife who taught me that Standard was a good option, probably saved me and Orren from major surgery. I didn't ever think she thought she was better than anyone when she told me why she chose to be on Standard, not Prime. I thought she was trying to help. That's exactly what I'm doing when people say they're having so much trouble with the care they're getting on Prime, and ask what they can do. "Go on Standard." is a pretty good answer, I would think. It was to me when I was in their shoes.

Similarly with the schools, just yesterday, some mom was having severe issues with getting her kids who obviously have learning disabilities, the instruction they need in the public school they're zoned for. They won't give them IEP's or special ed, or anything like that. They're just flunking them. I told her we had so been there, that my daughter also has learning disabilities, and that we were loving VDF School for all they have done for her. I told her about the types of therapies they do for the kids who are struggling, and how well it works. I told her they are accepting applications for all grades, and where to get one. I gave her the number for the front office so she could have a tour if she wanted. She yelled at me.

Again, why would you do that? I'm not saying I'm better than anyone. I am a mom with a learning disabled child, JUST LIKE this other mom is. I am someone who had a bad experience with public school. I am also someone who found a way to get something better for my kid, and the way I found is available to anybody who's willing to apply, then abide by the policies once accepted. My life has been so much better since getting Erin into this school, and I KNOW what a relief it is, ESPECIALLY to someone with a kid who struggles. A gifted or average kid will find their way in any setting. While they may not get the most out of it, they will get the basics at least. A learning disabled kid, on the other hand, requires something extra just to even learn the basics. I know this better than I wish I had to. How can it be perceived that someone thinks they're better, when they say, "Hey, my kid is LD, too, so I understand what you're dealing with. We found a great option. You might want to look into this."? That's the OPPOSITE of saying you're better than them.

What's more, someone had to tell me about this school, too, and I'm thankful that she did. Where would we be if I had reacted the way these people had? Well, we wouldn't be enrolled there, with Erin getting the best instruction in the world. That's for sure. If I'd yelled at the girl who told me about that school, rather than hauling ass to the other side of the city to get an application, then chasing down documents so we could be sure to turn it in before the school filled (ours was actually the very first application that school received.), we wouldn't be where we are today. Because we recognized opportunity, and grabbed onto it when we could, we have great success this year.

It's like I don't fit in with military wives because I don't partake in crappy stuff because, well, it's crappy. I've utilized options that people have shown me, and I'm just trying to show them to other people because they're available, and I can't imagine why anybody would actually want to wallow in crap when they have a choice. I simply cannot understand the aversion to finding a better way. It goes against human nature. I'm thoroughly convinced that human beings are biologically programmed to constantly work to improve their situations in some way. Whether that's by finding a better job, getting a promotion, getting a degree, finding a good school for their kids, meeting the right people, anything... Everything BUT THIS, that I have ever known about human beings in general, leads me to that conclusion. This shooting of the messenger who brings options, is so.... inhuman.