Do you fight, or do you get what you need?

It has come to light this week just how horrible the state of public schools is in this city. We have seven public school districts on the US side of our metro area, and each has their own specific issues, but all are absolutely horrible. They all look amazing on paper, and are completely terrible in practice. In some districts closer to post, it is the classic inner-city school issues, gang activity, race riots, sexual assaults, teachers having no control over the classrooms, principals who gave up years ago.... In the wealthier parts of town, it's administrative issues. One of our Ft. Bliss families had a death in their immediate family, and they were fined $160 and taken to court because the remaining kids missed four consecutive days of school. The schools in what is widely considered the best district here (overinflated home prices and all), are notoriously terrible to military families, issuing fines and hauling them into court if they miss school for what are usually considered extremely legitimate reasons. They don't do this to the civilians, but they do it to the military because they know we can pay the fines, and they also know they've got us by the proverbial balls since if we don't pay, they can get on the phone to a commander, and really screw with the soldier's career. (This is not unheard of.)

Bottom line, the families of this post have had enough. People are homeschooling in droves now, the charter schools and private schools have more applications than they know what to do with. People are not patronizing the public schools anymore. They are hounding our Garrison Commander for a DOD school on post. (Of course, this would only help the ones who live on post, which is only a tiny fraction of our post's population. I don't know if this has occurred to people.) I love that people are actually voting with their feet, and letting these terrible public schools know that we're not going to take it. They get more money for teaching military kids than they do for civilian kids, yet they treat military kids the worst. People have finally wised up, and are leaving the public schools in droves, because they see what I've seen all along. These people are getting fat off military dollars, while giving us nothing but the runaround in return.

The strange thing is that there is a contingent of people who thinks those of us who have pulled our kids out of these terrible schools, should have stayed and fought it, called for town hall meetings, dealt with military liasons within the districts, and things like that. I wonder if they've lost their minds. I watched Erin fall through the cracks in Ysleta ISD for six weeks, and that was more than enough. I got treated like a criminal by their awful administration people (Really, have you ever noticed that even the good public schools treat parents like garbage? That's the first thing I noticed that was different about charter school.) If we'd stayed there, she still would not have an IEP, and would not be making any of the progress she has made. But yeah, I should have stayed and fought a school we didn't like in the first place. Tell that also to all the parents whose kids have been the victims of all sorts of violence on a daily basis. Kids actually die in these schools multiple times a year. But yeah, everyone should just stick it out, and fight the system.

I am reminded of a common reaction that any homebirth mom is more familiar with than she wants to be. "Well, why are you resorting to homebirth? If you just fight the hospital, they'll leave you alone." I always shake my head when I hear this, because it can only come from the mouth of the most ignorant fool alive (lots of people tie for this honor). There is absolutely no way a homebirth mom can get what she wants in a hospital, because everything about hospital birth is diametrically different from homebirth, and even by setting foot in a facility that is not home at any point during labor, a homebirth mom compromises on something important. What's more, not having to fight to be left alone during labor is a huge reason a lot of people homebirth. It's one of the reasons I'm doing it. It was a huge reason I stayed at home for my entire labor with Orren. I just wanted to be left alone. Having to fight for that, is the complete opposite of getting it.

Both of these, the birth and the school, are things that I see no reason to fight for. I think people should just pick the option that's right for them in the first place, and go with that, rather than trying to be the proverbial square peg to society's round hole. Think about it. How much sense does it make to fight for something you don't even want in the first place? "I WANT TO KEEP MY KID IN YOUR HORRIBLE SCHOOL AND YOU WILL DO AS I SAY GODDAMN IT!!!!" or "I WILL GIVE BIRTH IN YOUR HORRIBLE HOSPITAL AND YOU WILL LEAVE ME ALONE GODDAMN IT!!!" What?? How much sense does that make when you can just find a better school, or a better birth place, and just do your thing?

Leave the fighting for things to the people who want to be there in the first place. If you don't, just find something better. People often won't understand. That's how you know you've been thinking outside the box.