A girl that my friend S and I have become friends with since she arrived at this post a few months ago, mentioned that her husband has a tendency to get really drunk and stupid, and that a couple of his NCO's were coming over that night to drink, and she was afraid of how it was going to go. I said that a stupidly drunk PFC is the least of the problems I saw there, that two NCO's going to booze it up at a lower-enlisted soldier's house was the real problem. She said that since her husband was older than these NCO's, it wasn't a big deal, that he's not like other PFC's. Um, yes, he wears PFC rank to work every day, so in fact, he IS like other PFC's in that he really shouldn't be trying to be drinking buddies with NCO's, or more properly, NCO's within the unit should know better than to try to be drinking buddies with him.
We were in mixed company, but I held my line on it. I said that those NCO's had no business over there, that drinking with PVT's is unprofessional, and makes them look horrible, that Thak would never do that, that since they're within the same unit, they are undermining themselves as respectable leaders by drinking with subordinate personnel. Every other senior wife, and every Officer's wife, completely agreed. The lower-enlisted wives didn't get it, or were offended, but really, I didn't care. Honestly, I'm sick of this "New Army" bullshit. When we have NCO's boozing it up with PFC's (and who honestly cares if said PFC is a billion years old?!) we have a less effective fighting force. Them deploying together soon (which is the reason the wife of said PFC gave for them needing to know each other well, and it being right for them to interact in this way) is actually the precise reason why it's WRONG. That PFC needs to RESPECT those NCO's, not necessarily know or like them. He needs to know their leadership style, the way they do business, and their quirks as soldiers. He doesn't need to know how they like their Jager bombs, or what they're like after 4 or 5 drinks. That is information NO lower-enlisted should ever know about any NCO in their unit. It crosses a huge line, and undermines them as leaders. There is a reason that in 10 years as an NCO, Thak has NEVER drank with a lower-enlisted.
People in today's Army are incapable of seeing the lines that were drawn back when people still knew what the hell they were doing. They think, "Well, if we can go over to the Platoon Sergeant's house for Thanksgiving dinner, then why can't my husband have some NCO's from the unit over to drink and play xbox? What's the difference?" Well, there's a big difference, really. For one, for any given holiday dinner, it's tradition for subordinate personnel to go over to their leaders' houses to eat. For another, the whole squad, platoon, or whatever the element in question is, was invited. It does not show favortism, or bias in any way. It's more or less an informal unit function. It is a far cry from going over to some lower-enlisted's house to booze it up. I don't see how people don't see the difference.
This PFC's sister, is apparently a Sergeant First Class in the National Guard. This is the worst kind, really. They have some family member who's senior, so that's the crowd they're used to associating with, then they enlist, and expect nothing to change. Unfortunately, that's not the way it works. Sure, this guy can still hang out with his sister. For one, they're not in the same unit, and for another, blood relation trumps rank. I just can't believe his stupid wife does not see how this does not extend to other NCO's, especially those he works with.
I also don't like the notion that just because my husband doesn't hang out with PVT's, that he thinks he's better than other people. That's so untrue. In fact, Thak is about the most unpretentious person you will ever meet in your entire life. He doesn't think he's better than anybody, and in fact, when he was asked to give a speech when he was pinned with his current (nearly impossible to attain) rank, he used that time, to encourage the other soldiers to reach for the same standard he reached for (and reached!), and to tell them that if he could do it, so could they. That's not someone who thinks they're better than other people. Just because he doesn't hang out with lower-enlisteds doesn't mean he thinks he's better. It means he doesn't feel like undermining the respect he has earned over the course of decades. Hey, we don't get offended by the fact that S and her husband (who will soon be promoted to Major) cannot come to our house together for a barbecue or something (S comes over a lot. She just doesn't bring him). We know that field grade officers don't hang out with enlisted personnel. S and I hang out all the time. We both cloth diaper. We have a ton in common. We just know where the lines are, and we don't cross them. We also both have a ton of time on our hands because our husbands both work A LOT!! (OK, so Thak does school, and her husband is an ER doctor, which just comes with long hours to begin with.) This doesn't hurt the situation at all, really. It's not like they're asking to come along or anything since they're usually working or whatever.
I'm so glad we're leaving this Army in a few weeks. Most of these people have lost their minds. Yes, it's great for NCO's to go to a PFC's house and drink like fish. What could possibly go wrong?
[And a word to the wise: If you are, um, new, and a bunch of people who are married to people your husband is required to either salute or stand at a specific position to speak with, are telling you that you are out of line, your best course of action is probably not to call those individuals "a bunch of drama starters". If every senior wife, staff wife, and officer's wife you know, is telling you that what you're doing isn't kosher, it probably isn't. What's more, it's going to be a fun day in the office come Tuesday. Think about who you're talking to before you open your mouth. Let's just say, there won't be a repeat of last night anytime soon, and it is because of you showing off, telling people who your husband was hanging out with and what they were doing. I'm sure he's very proud of you.]
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