The doorbell stops here.

Erin was having her requisite attitude issues, and we pulled her inside for a few minutes to talk to her about it. During the five minutes she was inside, the doorbell never stopped until we went out there and told the kid on the other side of it to stop ringing our doorbell, that if someone didn't answer the first time, he needed to go away, not ring it again. Seriously, I couldn't even get five minutes of peace from it.

The doorbell ringing stops now. I don't know what it is, if it's a Mexican thing, or a not being parented thing, or some of both (probably both), but holy crap these kids need to get smacked down. If they dare intrude on our birth by ringing the doorbell and banging on the door until they get an answer, I will not be responsible for my actions.

I drafted this:

Dear Neighbors,

We are expecting a new addition to our family within the next month and a half, and will be doing a homebirth. We ask for your cooperation in this by teaching your children not to ring our doorbell or bang on our door incessantly. If they ring once or knock, and we don’t answer, they should just leave, not keep ringing and banging until someone finally comes to the door. It is bad enough that they do this at all hours of the day (sometimes so early that our entire family is still asleep when they start the ringing and banging) but it would be far worse if they disturbed the birth of our new son or daughter this way.

We understand that the other children love to play with our 7-year-old daughter, Erin, and we send her outside to play when she is able. The kids may, and will, continue to play together just as they do now.

However, please teach your children doorbell manners (ring or knock only once), as this has been an issue since we moved into this neighborhood a month ago, and while it is getting very tiresome under normal circumstances, during a birth, it would be even worse. We really need people to respect our space during this time, and not contribute to undue stress. Please pass this along to your children and insure that they understand the importance of it.

Thank you,

The [M] Family

[Address]

It's going on every doorstep we think they MIGHT be coming from on Monday. Then if these parents don't toe the line and police up their kids, we'll do it for them. If that happens, the kids won't like it, but someone's got to teach them how to behave like civilized human beings, and somehow it's gone to the wayside until this point. Hopefully this wakes them up.