On not finding out...

In the past couple days, I've been asked twice if I'm crazy when people find out that we don't know if we're having a boy or a girl, and have no intention of finding out until he/she is born in a couple months. I explain that we did do one ultrasound, but the cord was in the way and we couldn't tell if the baby was a boy or a girl, and after that, we just figured we were just supposed to wait until he/she is born. People are shocked that we didn't demand ultrasound after ultrasound until we found out.

Here's the thing. It's really NOT that nerve wracking to wait. I thought it was going to be a lot harder than it is, but it's not. Maybe it's because I already have a boy and a girl. I don't know. It just isn't that hard to wait. I have not been tempted to ask for another ultrasound and find out.

Also, there is a lot coming out lately about the harmful effects of ultrasounds on the babies. They have been linked to speech delays, as well as other disorders, and the links to these things just continue to grow. Knowing that, why would I want another ultrasound when there is no medical reason? Everything is fine with this baby as far as we can tell. We have no reason to suspect anything is wrong. We don't NEED another ultrasound. Hell, we didn't even need the first one. One ultrasound has not been shown to be harmful, though. It's when you get into having multiple ultrasounds, that you start risking negative outcomes. Being that I have a child with a speech delay, with whom I had an excessive number of ultrasounds during pregnancy, I just don't want another unless it's absolutely necessary. It's not weird. It's prudent.

The other thing is that it's kind of a fun challenge to find gender-neutral stuff that isn't boring. I have AMAZING stuff for this baby, and not one boring yellow ducky in the lot. I have koi fish, sushi, animal prints, ooga booga print (very trendy in the cloth diapering world. It's little monsters, absolutely adorable), woodland themes, fruits and veggies, turtles, frogs, jungle animals, stars, you name it! I have had a great time finding fun gender-neutral stuff for the baby. It's been a new challenge, and one I'm glad to have had. We were never going to be doing a ton of shopping as it was. We still have everything left over from Orren, and most of his gear and diapers are gender-neutral because we bought them before we knew he was a boy. So I'm really not missing out on anything by not finding out what this baby is.

I do understand that it's not the norm to wait until birth to find out. Only 7% of American parents do this these days. (What do you want to bet the 0.5% who homebirth almost 100% cross over into that group?) I found out the gender via ultrasound with both my other kids. I know how much fun it can be to do that. I also never thought people who didn't find out were crazy or strange. I just figured they didn't like ultrasounds, or really liked surprises, or something. It has been surprising to me to see people's reactions to us not finding out. I expect people to look at me like I've lost my mind when they find out we're homebirthing, but not finding out the gender, I would expect to be received more in passing, as no big deal. Really, it isn't such a big deal when you think about it. You find out eventually no matter what. Whether you find out via ultrasound at 20 weeks, or when the baby is born at 40, 41, 42 weeks, ultimately, you are going to find out whether it's a boy or a girl. It's really no big deal when exactly that is.