The real test of a school.

It always comes up in conversation. If you vow to never speak of it again, it doesn't last long. Now, it's an even hotter topic with the local news station running a story on how homeschooling has caught on like wildfire in the military community here. The fact is, schools are a big topic among parents, especially here. This is a big city with many school districts, and a lot of different policies, standards, and issues. The locals think their schools are great. The military people are mostly pretty horrified with some, but ok with others. We have found that we cannot do public school here at all.

Of course, it always comes up in conversation that we send Erin to charter school, and that we homeschooled before that, because we were that horrified with what the public schools gave us. It never fails that "That Parent" is within earshot.

Let me tell you about That Parent. That Parent's kids were born potty trained, read Tolstoy over summer break from Kindergarten, and are expected to make the US Olympic team by the age of 7. Those Kids (the offspring of That Parent) do all this in public school, and think that their success is indicative of the fact that anyone who has had a problem with the school brought it on themselves.

I have realized, quite honestly, that a gifted child will read two grades above their age level no matter what school you send them to. A gifted child doesn't need a particularly good teacher, or a great school, or administrators who will keep them safe from bullying. Hell, I can speak to that from experience. I had some truly horrific teachers when I was a kid (and a few great ones, but most were pretty mediocre). Nobody kept me safe from the bullies who made my life hell from Kindergarten to graduation. I still came out looking good on paper. Gifted kids can succeed anywhere. Sure, a better school will yield better opportunities, but the fact that a high performing kid is still a high performing kid no matter what school they go to, is kind of a no brainer.

No, the real test of a school is what they do with the Erins of the world. Erin can learn. It's not easy, but she can. In order for that to happen, she needs special ed, and speech therapy, and a lot of one on one instruction, but given those things, she can learn just as much as any other kid out there. Without those things, though, and she'll fall through the cracks. Erin is the canary in the academic coal mine. She CAN succeed, but only under good circumstances. Given anything other than best practice, she'll fall flat on her face. It's a delicate balance, and it always has been. That's why, upon finding her a school that will actually set her up with the help she needs, we have to stay here for a while so she can continue at that school.

When I advise parents on what happened with Erin in the public schools here, I'm not talking to That Parent of Those Children. I'm talking to other parents like me, whose kids can't afford a school district that makes parents fight for testing, help, or therapies. I'm talking to the ones whose kids will learn great, but only under the right conditions. That's who I'm talking to when I warn people about the public schools here.

In short, please spare me your tales of how Little Jimmy is reading 2 grades above level. Frankly, my kid hovers about a year below grade level, and I'm pleased as can be with that because it represents insane progress from where she had been, and I can only imagine where she would be had we never pulled her out of public school, and got her in somewhere that would actually help her rather than just keep pushing her to the back of the room because she didn't understand enough to participate in the lessons, but wasn't disruptive enough to get herself noticed otherwise.

Kids like Erin are the real test of a school. If you wonder why we put up with all the BS from Erin's school, this is why. Yes, they're disorganized. No, we don't love the principal. Yes, they do weird things like have Saturday school multiple times a month, and replace recess with daily gym class. BUT at the end of the day, they give Erin the help she needs. She's making progress. It is slow progress, but it is progress none the less. They didn't jack us around all year for it either, and we didn't have to fight anybody. They gave her what she needed, because she needed it, not because we fought them for it, or demanded it, or anything else like that. When you have a kid like Erin, you can't afford to mess around with schools that want to play games. Honestly, any school that would just throw learning disabled kids to the wolves if their parents won't fight hard enough, just cannot be considered a good school if you ask me.

The things that never occurred to me until I had a child with special academic needs, I'll tell you...